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March 1, 1908, Merriment of Ministers ERE is another Dr. Parker story: He was arguing with a man on the problem of continued exist- ence, and at the door the friend declared finally: ‘‘The fact is, I am an annihilationist. ] believe that when 1 die that will be the end of me.” “Thank God for that!" exclaimed the doctor, and banged the door. At a church function in which Bishop Potter recently took part several deacons happened to be present. One of them called the bishop's attention to that passage in the liturgy which reads, ‘O, all ye priests of the Lord, blees ye the Lord,” and com- plained that there was ‘‘no mention of us deacons.” ‘“Yes, indeed, there 18, replied the bishop; ‘‘don’t you remember, ‘O, all ye green things upon the earth, bless ye the Lord." " il e A popular Methodist minister preached in Montclair, N. J., last Sunday, and his ser- mon occupied fifty minutes. At the close a minister who was in the pulpit with him announced a hymn appropriate to the preacher’s theme, but with these words: “I am sure you will all be glad to sing this last hymn.” A quiet looking man met Bishop Blank on the street, and handed bim a $10 bill, “l would be obliged,” he said, “if you would use this for your poor. 1 also feel that it is right to tell you that the money was won in gambling. But I hope that will not prevent your taking it.” “My dear sir,” responded the¢ bishop, "’ with a benevolent smile, ‘you can set your mind at ease on that score. We are fight« ing the battles of the Lord, and, like other armies, we live on tke enemy when- ever the chance offe An English vicar discovered not loug ago that one of his male servants was in the habit of stealing his potatoes. He mene tioned the fact to his curate, and asked advice. “Well,” replied the curate, ‘of course you must remember what the Bible says: ‘If any man take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also."” *“I gee,” mused the vicar, ‘“Well, in this case, as the man takes my potatacs, I'd better givae him the sack!” A western bishop who was somewhat of & high churchman conducted a mission serve ice in a Congregational chfirch, where he delivered an impressive sermon. When the service was over one of the trustees came to him and said, “Bishop, we all like your sermons, but we can't swallow your liturgy.” “My dear sir,” replied the bishop, ‘“‘then you must change your swallow, because my church never changes e Bishop Cortlandt Whitehead of Pittsburg Is fond of telling stories at his own expense. When he was rector of the Church of the Nativity at South Bethlehem, Pa., he ac- quired a convert for the Episcopal church in the person of a Methodist woman who was much given to contributing te the church services by interjecting ‘“‘Amen" and “Alleluia.” He explained to the good woman that such ejaculations were not customary in the Episcopal church, and she sat gravely through a sermon on dignity and decorum in public worship. Afterward the bisLop thanked her for restraining aecr fervor. ““No need to thank me,” retorted the for- mer Methodist. ‘““You didn't say anything to make me shout.” Carpenter’s Letter (Continued from Sixth Page.) ever been made which could de~eive him or anyone who knew much about diamomds. He replied that real diamonds are like nothing else upon earth, and that anyone who understands them can easily detect the real from the false. The man showed me models in glass of all the diamonds cut by the factory, in- cluding some of the largest of the world. He showed me real stones ready for sale worth thousands of dollars, and among others, several diamonds strung upci wires as fine as a hair, just as though they were beads. The heles in these diamonds were made here in Amsterdam. There is only one man upon earth who knows how to do it. His process is a secret and so far no one has been able to imitate it. The holes he makes are as fine as a hair, but not- withstanding this they are polished on the inside. Those I saw were made at the tip of the diamond. I talked with my guide about wages and learned that they vary according to the * work from $5 to $20 a week. The polish- ers are not so well paid as the splitters and the best work commands the big money. The great money in the business goes to the capitalist, notwithstanding more than $6,000,000 are amnually paid out for such work. I like the looks of the people of Amster- dam. They have a plain, common sense air about them. They look thrifty and evi- dently have plenty of money to spend. It seems to me that this would be one of the best places in western Europe for pushing our commercial invasion. Holland itself is rich and the big firms here have wires THE ILLUSTRATED BEE. PUPILS FROM THE SEVENTH AND E IGHTH GRADES OF THE FRANKLIN 8COOL, OMAHA, WHO SANG IN THE CONCERT AT KOUNTZE MEMORIAL CHURCH ON SATURDAY NIGHT--Photo by a Staff Artist, which reach out to every part of the world, and especially to the vast population of the Dutch East Indies. The big factories of Java are largely owned by American capital, and our sugar- making machinery and other such things could be sold through Amsterdam. The government operates many of the railroads in the East Indies, and railroad materials for Sumatra and Java might be placed here, and the same is true, as far as the government is concerned, as to water works, gas plants and electrical undertak- ings. We already have a large trade with Am- slerdam, our goods being shipped from here to all parts of northern Europe. Thore is a broker near the Dam who deals in American shoes, having his trade with the chief cities of Germany and Austria. American bicycles are sold on the Kalver- straat, and our sewing machines and type- writers may be seen at several places on the same thoroughfare. You can fiud our carpenters’ tools in a half dozen places, and the same is true of American flour. The flour is hauled through .he ttreets on wagons or pushed through the canals in boats and barges. It all comes in bags of 110 pounds each, about 750,000 such bags being imported each year. Our coal is to be seen everywhere, It comes in barrels and tank steamers. The Amsterdam Petroleum company has three oil reservoirs which will hold 60,000 Larrels cach, and other companies have other large tank Some of the oil is peddled about the streets in hand carts, or rather in barrels upon wheels; it is pushed by men and sometimes hauled by dogs. Our oil i3 used everywhere. I found barrels of it at the little town of Ymuiden at the end of the North S8ea canal, and 1 am told it lights the most out-of-the-way districts. In one of the stores here I saw pack- ages of Quaker oats und bags of Minne- apolis flour. [ entered and bought a pair of wooden clogs for 26 cents, to get a sample of the competition against the American shoe. The woman who kept the store was grinding coffee for a customer when I came in, and I noticed that her machine had a Philadelphia trade mark on it. I asked her if it was a good one, and she emphatically nodded her hedd that it was, I have spent some time tocay with our consul. Mr. Frank D. Hill, who repre- gented the United States some years ago in Paraguay, and later on in Brazil. The American consulate is situated on one of the best streets in the center of the eity, and Consul Hill does his business fn a most respectable way He is a good man and is pushing American trade. He thinks that the United States could not do better than to establish a warehouse and sales- room here, where orders could be taken for American gocds and where they could be always on view, He says the Dutch will not buy without they can see and feel the goods, and that catalogues are a waste of postage and printing. FRANK G. CARPENTER. Land of Arab Kings (Continued from Fifth Page.) outnumbered and within a few minutes the robbers had cut out the laden pack eamels and crove them of. For a time it seemed that all was lost, for vven drinking water had been taken. But the shick, who had recognized the raiders as belonging to a southern tribe, declared that despite their number he pro- posed to surprise their camp in the night and win back their spoils. But this desperate expedient was ren- dered unnecesary, for the shiek managed to get into communication with the robbers and when they learned who he was they brought baeck everything they had takem even to the bits on the camels. For sixteen days thercalter the Aus- trians made mecasurements, sketches and photographs. When they had done all that they could, they returned by a new route, which enabled them to visit many eother historic places in the deserts. During the voyage ‘hey were altacked five times, but their Mannlicher rifles helned them to keep the robbers at a safe distance and to beat them off without loss. Last autumn Dr. Musil started for Arabia once more. This time he visited a part of the couniry to which the Emir and his brother could not accompany him and he entered the deserts as a camel driver. When this disguise had become dangerous, owing to the suspicions of the fanatic desert folk, among whom he was, he as- sumed the garYy of a physician. For a part of his exploration he passed as a merchant with a caravan bound for Muscat. At last he was seized and robbed. The raiders took his camel, which bore not only all his money, but also all his colleeticns and provisions For fourteen duys he wandered through the sands on foot, with no shelter and no food except a few dried dates. Then h» found a powerful chief, who not only suc- cored him, but in consideration of a part of the spoils, hunted out the robbers and got back the collections that Dr, Musil had made. A second time the explorer was seized by a chief, who €3t him free only after Dr. Musil had given him all of his money and supplies. 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