Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, June 18, 1893, Page 18

WITH THE COSTERSOF LONDON | | — Their Everyday Lifo an Untilled Fiold for the Novelist, PECULIARITIES OF THE COSTER DIALECT Wakeman Tells About the Short-Haired Fraternity of London - Low Bred Originators of Slang Some Cholee Expressions. Plirasos— [Copyrighted, 1893.] LoNDON, June 5.—[Correspondence of Tk Bre.]—During tho somewhat extended period in which I actually lived the daily 1ife of & costermonger in London, many in- teresting obscrvations and experiences, aside from those connected with the immediate concerns of buying and hawking vogetables, fish, flesh and fowl, were naturally resultant from my association with “Slumpsy Jem," the coster, and his wife Becky, and what may be regarded as the avistocratic coster socioty, to which our signal financial success speedily gave us admittance. It may not have been an original discovery on my part, but T was soon convinced of the correctness of a curious series of surmises growing out of much previous opservation nnd study of the habits, manners and speech of London folk in general; a conclusion ‘which seems worthy of extended discussion by others more able to make exact and uthoritativegromparison, This was. in 1ef, that tha%¢zene ic things we call *‘cock- neyisms,” in sps and monners,really have their origin chiefly among London coster- TS, oxceedingly difficult to make this clear to those who have not lived in London and also in large cities of other countries long enough to have caught that exceedingly win- some feature of all great, old and compact communities which, for a better name, may be called ‘“local color.” Obseryation will nearly always disclose it to largely consist of the reflexive influence upon higher classes from unique or outlandish lower classes of that genial diablerie and humorous or tragic realism of the lowly almost instantly trans- formed into the wit, humor, repartee and “lang" of those above them, until in degree, hablt of speech, form of the commoner colloquial ~ oxpressions and even dis- tinctive mannerisms, become fixed and characteristic with ‘and upon that grade of folk closest in mind, feeling and vocation to the characterful lowly people whom they have consciously or unconsciously imitated. Thus I have heard in noted Paris salons the common jibes of the canaille and the Hhoulevardieres, from lips quite urconscious “ their origin; in American clubs and draw ing rooms, countless cant and patter expre: sions already long previously discarded in New York's Bowery slums, where thoy first took form; in the finest lidinburgh homes, the wise, curt and droll of Newhaven fishwives and the den owgate and @Grassmarket, and from London concert halls, up through London clubs, past English castles and noblemen’s city homes, to the floor of Parlinment itself, the latest epithet and newest catch-phrase of London coster- mongers, coined by my coster friends in mo- ments of *‘four-ale” inspiration of free smok- ing-room concerts, at “‘penny gaffs,” or in valiant blackguarding battles with Covent Garden porters and the glib-tongued “mob- bers” or fish carriers of ancient and odorous Billingsgate. As to ‘“‘cockney” London folks high and low, clear and distinct lines may be drawn. The coster is the typical, indeed the genuine ecockney. His vernacular which is so out- landish that one has to have long acquaint- ance with iv to understand it at all, is not slang, because it is original and unaffected mode' of expression. His swagger, his uncluous oaths, his terrible objurgations, his impulsive generosity, his reckless gambling, his fondness for pets, his roving ways within the great city, his grotesque apparel, his aversion to u fixed habitation, his suspicion of anything savoring of religion, his uncon- uerable agnosticism, his self reliance, his talism, his fondness for his kind and kin and yet his seeming brutality in all domestic relations, his hariness and his tenderness, and his almost stern and Spartan loyalty to his friends, his race and his traditions, are all inexplicable and tantalizing to one study- ing his character little or long; but they are absolutely and inviolably his own. There is not an iota of pretense, hynocrisy or affecta- %ion about him. Because of this millions of Tondon's lowly.next to him in the social scale, have in from 400 to 500 years time been un- conscious imitators of much of his specch, some of his manners, a_ good deal of his swagge! d bluster, and not a little of his hardness and brutality. All these latter follc are often generically regarded as “cocl- neys.” But their cocknoyism is assumed, copied, unreal. Consequently it is as offen sive to the intelligent Englishman, who often errs in mistaking it for the genuine article exclusively possessed by the mongers, as it is to the wonde can, who knows nothing whatove: origin. here is another class of folk in London and throughout England mnmeasurably less in number and real importance, but inex- ent and offensive, s “‘cockneys” and who, more than all others, bring the true coster cocknoy into permatent disrepute. They are a sort of chromo cockneys when the genuine Turneresque red. grays of the true cockney coster ar into analytic comparison. They comprise a mixed and murramed muititude of London men-about-town, answering somewhat to the dude Cholly Wobblers of Auierica—young noblemen and other choice aristocrats who “igo in for a long pull anda strong puil, y kneow.” To these are added a few flash Journalists, [ am sorry to say, fellows who are on the outskirts of even the lowest of London Bohemi; H ¥ actors, for London actors are t ariably London gentlemen; some -on of clubs; all pueilists, sprinter: s und Professional sporting men generally: thou- sands of music hall performers and the other thousands of “Tommy Rots" gulped eut of ght the free siuoking-room concerts of the public houses, who are found every Monday worn- ing at their weekly “Poverty Junction” sym- posium at the corner of York and Waterloo roads, and tens of thousands more of Lon- don clerks and apprentices—vacuous and vainglorious “Simon Tappe filled with fine frenzy and mock heroies that they may ever bear the, to them, true British stamp of the cocksure cockucys and beery ruffians of the hour. All of theso chromo cockneys never open their mouths without effort o outdo thewr moral and mental superiors, the coster- mongors, They occasionally break loose from their London environment and travel Ireland, in Scotland, on the continent and America. (Their oaths are “Strike me Tucky ! “G3r bli me!" and other unprin ble coster imprecations. Their ejaculations are “Gawd's truth!” and the hke. Their qualifying and emphasizing adjectives are “blawsted,” “bloomin’,” and “bloody.”" A man or vhing is “ rum un.” A shilling bob;" i sovereign is a “quid ;"' a donkoey is & *moke;" a cab horse is “cat's meat;" to drink liquor is to “take a ' a glass of ukard o' bitter one ac- id & woman is a “gUV-er-nor, *donah” or a *‘cow.” This sort of thing may possess a certain sociological and lite m' interest when confined to the character class from which it emanates, but every one of Lthese pretentious cockneys, wheth met in London or on their rufianly travels about the world, should be sot dowh for pre- clsely what they are. They are no more reprosentative Englishmen than' a New York dude, careying the manver, epithets aud clothing of ‘a Bowery boy about the world, would be a typical ‘American. They are simply cads; a disgrace to intelligent English people and an insulting human par- oay upon the ignorant though sturdy and genuine costermongors they sadly iiuwie, an wmlmu more i all their vices and ally lacking the léast of their humble ‘The louger one studies these curious lowly folk of Loudon, the greater is the wonder that they have Jiot proven o more fruitful ubject for the novelist, or at least for such of character painting as Thackera d Diclcer They have all been utilized s the butt Bf quips and quirks by the penny-a-liner, the wits of Punch, the newspaper paragraphers, aud, tn a low sort of way, to raise the loudest guffaws at the aayriad music halls of London.” But not until Quite receutly has thewr character been usly studied by a man of real genius, or Wi ues aud truits apoeal- WaR Pecoguilion boen oL THE OMAHA DAILY B portrayed by a man of subtie perception and ardent sympathios, That man is Albart Chevalier. Of French, Velsh and Irish extraction, he was destinod by his parents for the priesthood. But in- stead he becarte a successful actor of legiti- mate comedy under the Banecrofts, the Ken- dals and later at the Court theater under Manager Hare. In time he found himself a popular leading comedian without anen- gagement. Offers came to him for engnge- ments in burlesque as second comedian. This was going backward; something a London actor cannot afford to do. Some of his work in comedy had brought him ampng the cos- termongers for character stify, and he re- membered that any song he had sung in his various characters bearing on these droll folk had been received ruliar favor, He suddenly resolved music hall singer, a resolution which carried out in London ordinarily means complote social ostracism. But from tho time th® determination was reached Chevalier must be considered in the light of poot, composer and singer. He continued his coster studies with a positive gonius, a splendid edu and a succes what is necessary. a8 w painter, not only reveal by true realism, but to re- veal in the subtler power of suggestion, be- nind them; and vhe result was that since his first singing of *“The Coster's Serenade" at the London Pavilion, in February, 1801, he has heid the extraordinary position of being the only performer upon any stage, so unique in his line of rendition and so mas- terful in his artistic skill as to prevent the slightest atf at rivalry, He is but 30 y e, yot his incomo from his nightl, mances at four lead- ing London mu halls and from royalties on his songs 1s from 2600 to $1,000 per weok —nearly equaling thesalary of the prosident of the United States;and all this from merely discovering the costermongers of London and revealing them to the people of London. It has been done in a way to reach their hearts as well as their seuse of humor last- ingly, as is shown in the fact that his pr ent engagements are permanent for a period 8. He is u quiet, studious fellow, hile his incomparable success has opened to him the doors of the great and noble houses in London, where his genuine scholarship and refinement would render social acquisition without the glamor of success, he leads n modest life in his own pretty home alongside the Thames, almost under the shadow of Windsor Castle, where his books, his punt and fishing rod are his chief companions. ‘This much regarding the man's person- ality. To convey to others who are unac- quainted with' costermongors themselves the peculiar conditions of London life and society which make it possible for a man to derive a princely income from creating and interpreting—for Chevalier is more than a mero singer upon the stage—two or three coster songs each year is a difficult task. London is almost a great world in itself. Its costers, distinctive in character, voca- tion, spoech, traits, habits and customs, had previously reinained an almost unknown people to what may be regarded as in lectual London. If Charles Dickens wor living and had written a great work of i tion in which coster life ana love had been delineated so powerfully that all London stood amazed at its own ignorance of its own lowly, the costor man and woman could mot have been more firmly set upon the pedestals of sentiment than has Chevalier placed them, through his strong flash lights and bold, broad strokes of delin- eation of character representation and song. He has brought to almost universal a tion the mirthful and serious sides of He has shown that ther wnd tragedy like t to your life and mine. In one after a of his marvelous song impersonations like *The ster’s Sercnade,” “The Coster's ship,” “The Future Mrs. 'Awkins,” “Wot Cher,” “The Nasty Way 'E Sez It" and “Our Little Nipper,” he has brought the very heart throbbings of this uncouth class, often through pathetic tenderness, so close to those of his hearers, that the great Laendon public, from 'prentice boy to prince, have awakened to the fact that costers are actually human creatures, possessing at least some of the common attributes of humankind. Chevalier found that the costers really mado love to each other; that there were rude Romeos and Juliets 'among them; and hints as these are given of the gentle ssion between pearl-buttoned Juckeys and their “*donahs:” “You ain't forgotten yot that ni Down at the Welsh *Arp, w'ich Is You fancied winkles an’ & pot o' tea; “Four ‘alf,”” [ murmured, *’s good enough for it in May, ndon way? L of "ope that [ may win cntly with the winkle pin: 3 "appy is could bo that day, at the Welsh "Arp, w'ich is *Endon way, 'Wot Cher” is au inimitable delineation of the coster in his roystering, hilarious mood. ““The Nasty Way 'K Sez It,” h has been pirated and put to ignoble use in America, though told in the uncouth coster way of i wlt-finding “pal,” is a most won- »sent class of s upon all ned comfort and content. His latest tion, ~'Our Little Nipper,” discloses the coster parental love for and pridde in the cos- ter boy, who is assiduously *taught” by his radiant father, Not in books, of course, for them 'ecan't abide— But in artful little Tkoy's litt] s As makes the people sit up w'ere we Chevalier's influence has been healthful and good. While, as in London parl coster stoek is looking up, there 1s dey 1 of imitated cockneyismi among the lowly, and les foonery among the cockne: Defining and revealing ¢ have brought them into lino fc literary contemplation. This of 1tself grad- ually tends to confino imitators tou very low class of minds whose influecnce upon manuers and speech is without weight, and delineators toa very high order of intellect, as with Cnevalier, with painters and w novelists, who will do the costers no harm, and who will mist the publi oeye or touch the pubhe’s heart ina way vhat always makes it better for a thrill of mirth or sad- ness. Chevalier's coster diale clean; too clean to be the uses enongh of thew origin place the real cost audiences, From h ng lived and toiled awmong them my note books are full of their curious forius of speech. They cannot be re- produced in print, owing to their terrible profanity and awful commingling of obscen- ity; while it must be remembered that the coster is_absolutely unconscious of either, and would instantly “put up his fivers” to any one who would seriously intimate that he was not scrupulously respectful and They are all, men and womei, istlers, and they have an odd of call and answer, & monotone ac- uated thus: 'a-ta-tal! ta-tal; ta-ta-talt” la-ta-tal! ta-tal!” In their greetings they are most effusive. “Chy-ike!—an' 'ow air ye, ol pal?" “*Cherry rive, guy-er-nor! Gor bli me, an’ ‘0w does you feel?"” “Strike me lucky !—cigarnot, *Gawd’s truth, cul, cigarnet,” I have tried hard to discover the forbears of “‘cigarnet,” but have so far failed. Its use is universal among the costors, and weans superlatively good, correct, pat and timely, Here is a single specimen of coster dialect pure as a lilac tassel in comparison with the ordinary conversation. 1 overheurd itasa coster was relating Lo a companion his dis- comforture in an attempt to borrow a shilling. “Gawd strike me Jucky, but H'i awsked "im for th loan 0’ a bob, 'n''is bloody heyes syick hout like bleedin' mussels; Gor bli me, 80 they did!" “Strike m “Gor bli me Stays.” t is admirably 1 thing; put ho 1 expressions to veforo his great An’ your» lueky !" “Gawd’s truth ! and are the favorite, wdeed their endless, imprecations, The latter means, “may God belie, or disown, me!” It is needless to say that they have no idea what- ever of its siguificance. ~ But from the age of spoech to that of speechlessness, no coster man or woman ever opened mouth without uttering this self-imposed anathema. EpGan L. WAKEMAN, —_— There are three tuings worth saving— Time, Trouble and money—and De Witt's Little Early Risers will save them for you. These little pills will save you time, as_they abt promptiy. They will save you trouble us they cause no pain. They will save you money as they economize doctor's bills. R ‘Al said Benedict, ‘‘these beautiful summer days make me think of the days be- fore I was ‘married, when 1 used to ramble with my sweetheart through the park. But thiugs are changed now.” “Yes, you've got three babies o do tije cooing, eh' said his companion. “And un army of ereditors to do the billing," added Benediot. OUAINT AFRICAN LEGENDS Told by Natives Aroutdd the Oamp Fire of Stanley. AND RECOUNTED BY THE EXPLORER The ¥ate of a Woman Who Could Not Keep o Profitable Seeret—Domestio Bratality Adequately and Ex- peditionsly Paunished. From a number of logends, related by my trusty dark companions round the evening camp fire, I have selected a fow for publication in the Fortnightly e- view, writes Henry M. Stanley. The nightly custom of entertaining one another with stories began in 1875, alter Sabedu, a page of King Mtesa, had astonished his hearers with the legend of the “Blameless Priest.” The circle was free to all and was frequently well attonded; for whon it was seen that the more accomplished narrators were suitably rewarded and that there wasa great deal of amuse- ment to be derived few could resist the temptation to approach and listen unless fatigue or illness provented them. Many of the stories related were nat- urally of little value, having neither novelty nor originality; and in man cases, especially whero the Zanzibavies were the narrators, the stories were mero importations from Asia; others, again, were mere marks of low inclina- tions. I therefore had often to sit out a lengthy tale without a single point in it. But whenever a real aborigine of the interior spoke we were sure to hear something new and striking; the language was more quaint, and in almost every tale there was a distinct moral. “Kitinda and Her Wise Dog" was told me by Kassim, a Basoko boy, while the last is by his compatriot Baruti. Tho Story of Kitinda and Her Wiie bog Kitinda, a woman of the Basoko, near the Aruwimi river, possessed a dog, who was remarkable for his intelligence. It w aid that he was soclever that stran- gors understood his motions as well as though he talked to them; and that Kitinda, familiar with his ways and the tones of his whines, his yelps, and his barks, could converse with him as easy as she could with her husband. One market day the mistress and her dog agreed to go together, and on the road she told him_all she intended to do and say in disposing of her produce in exchange for other articles which she needed in her home. Hor dog listened with sympathy, and then, in his own manner, he conveyed to her how great was his attachment to her, and how there never was such a friend as he could be; and he ged her that if at any timo she was) in distress she would tell him and that he would serve her with all his might. “‘Ounly,” he said, “‘were it not that I am afraid of the effects of being too clever I could have served you oftener and much more than I have done.” = “What do you mean?” asked Kitinda. “Well, you know, among the Basoko it is supposed if one is too clever, or too lucky, or too rich, that it has come about through dealings in witcheraft, and people are burned in consequence. I do not like the idea of being burned— and therefore I have refrained often from assisting you because I feared you could not contain your surprise and would chat about it to the villagers. Then some day, after some remarkable act of cleverness of mine, people would say, Ha! this is not a dog! No dog could have done that! He must be a demon! or a witeh in a dog’s hide! and of course they would take me aud burn me.” “Why, how very unkind of you to think such things of me! When have I chatted about you? Indeed I have too many things to do, my housework, my plunting and marketing so oceupy me that I could not find time to go gadding about my dog.” “Well, it is already notorious that T am clever, and I often tremble when strangers look at and admire me for fear some muddle-headed fellow will fancy that he sees something else in me more than unusual intelligence. What would they say, however, if they really knew how very sagacious I am? The reputation I have has come through your affection for me, but I assure f ou that I dread this excess of affection lest it end fatally for you and for me.” “But are you so much cleverer than you have alveady shown yourself? If 1 promise that 1 will never” speak of you to any person again, will you help me more than you have done, if I am in dis- tress?” You are a woman and you could not prevent yourself talking if you tried ever 50 hard.” “Now, look you here, my dog. I vow to you, that no matter what you do that is strange, I wish 1 may die, that the first animal I meet may kill me if I speak a word. You will see now that Kitinda will be as good as her word.” “Well, I will take you at your word. I am to serve you every time you nced help, and if you speak of my services to a soul you are willing to lose your life,” Thus they made a solemn agreement as they traveled to market. Kitinda sold her palm oil and fowls to great advantage, and in exchange ro- ceived sleeping mats, a couple of carved stools, & bag of cassava flour, two large, well baked and polished crocks, a bunch of ripe bananas, a couple of good planta- tion hoes, and a big strong basket. After the marketing was over she col- lected her purchases together and tried to put them into the basket, but the big crocks and carved stools were a sore trouble to her, She could put the flour and hoes and the Lununus on top with the mats for a cover very well, but the stools and the crocks were a great difficulty. Her dog in the meantime had {:ecn ab- sent, and had succeeded in killing & ounyr antelope, and had dragged it near her, He looked around and saw that the market was over, and the people had wended each his own way homeward while his mistress had been planning how to pack her property. He heard her complain of her folty in buying such ‘cumbersome and weighty things, and ask herself how she was to reach home with them, Pitying her in her trouble, the dog galloped away and found a man empty- handed, before whom he fawned and whose hands he licked, and being patted he clung to his cloth with his teeth and pulled him gently along, wagging his tail and looking very amiable,” Hi con- tinued to do this until the man, seeing Kitinda fretting over her difticulty, understood what was wanted and offered 10 carry the stools and crocks at each end of his long staff over his shoulders for a few ripe bananas and a lodging, His assistance was accepted with pleas- ure, and Kitinda was thus enabled to reach her home, and on the way was told by the man how it was he had” hap- pened to come to the market place. Kitinda was very much tempted to dilate upon her dog's cleverness, but remembered in time her promise not to boast of him. When, however, she reached the village and the housewives came out of their houses, burning to hear the news at the market, in her eagerness to tell this one and then the other all that had happened to her, and all that she had seen and heard, she for- got her vow of the morning and forth- with commenced to relate the last wonderful trick of hor dog in dragging a man back to the market place to help her when she thought that all her profit in trade would be lost, and was just about to smash her nice erocks in her rage. The dog listened to her narrative, saw signs of wonder stealing over the women's faces, honrfil them call out to their husbands, sgW’ the men advancing eagerly towards thepn, saw them all look at him narrowly, heard one man ox- claim, “That cannot be adog! Ttisa demon within a dog's hide. He—" But the dog had heard enough. He turned and ran into - the woods and was never more scen in that village. The next markdtday came ‘round and Kitinda took some gmr\- palm oil and a few fowls, and left'her home to dispose of them for some Bther domestic needs. When about half way her dog came out of the woods, and dfter accusing her of betraying him to har stupid countrymen, thus roturning evil. for good, he sprang upon her and tore her to piecos. Story of Maranda. “Master,” said Baruti, “T have been trying to recall some of the legends I used to bear when 1 was very small, and 1 now recollect one, which 'is not very long, about Maranda, a wife of one of the Basoko warriors, called Mafala, “Maranda’s father was named Sukila, and he lived in the village of Chief Busandiy Sukila owned a fine large noo and many paddles, which he had carved with his own hand. He had also several long nets which he had also made, besides spears, knives, a store of grass cloth, and a fow slaves. He was highly respected by his countrymen, and sat by the chief's side in the council place. “As the girl grow fit for marriage, Mafala thought she wouid suit him as a wife, and went and spoke of it to Sukila, who demanded a slave girl, six long pad- dles ornamented with ivory caps, goats, as many grass cloths as he had fingers and toes, a new shield, two axes and two field hoes. Mafala tried to re- duce the demand, and walked backwards and forwards many times to smoke pipes with Sukila and’ get him to be les acting. But the old man knew his daughter was worth the price he had put upon her, and that if he refused Mafala, she would not remain long with- out a suitor. For a girl like Maranda is not often seen among the Basokos. Her limbs were round and smooth and ended in thin, small hands and feet. The young men often spoke about Marunda’s light, straight f and quick lifting step. A boy's arm could casil i the slim waist, and the manner in which she carrvied her head, and the supple neek and the clear look in her eyes, be- longed to Maranda only. -« “Mafala, on the other hand, was curi- unlike her. He always seemed set omething, and the lines between the eyebrows gave him a severe face, not ])Yemtuuc to'see, and you always caught something in his eyes that made you think of the glitter which is ina ser- pent’s. “‘Perhaps that was one reason why Sukila did not care o have him for his danghter's husband, At any rate, he would not abate his price one grass- cloth, and at last it was paid, and Ma- randa passed over from her father's house into that of her husband. *Soon after the marriage Maranda was heard to cry out, and it was whis- pered that she had learned much about Mafala in a fow days, and that blows as from a rod had been heard. Half a moon passed away, and thon all the village knew that Maranda had fled to Busan- diya's house, because of her husband’s ill-treatment, Now the custom in such a case is that the father keeps his daughter's dowry; and if it be true that a wife finds life with her husband too harsh to be borne, that she may seck the chief's protection, and that the chief may find another husband for her who will treat her properly.” “But before the chief had made up his mind to whom to give her, Mafala went to a crceodile—for it turned out that he was a Mganga, a witch-man who had dealings with reptiles, on land, as well as with the monsters of the r —and bargained with it to catch her as she came to the river to wash,and ca her up to a certaln place on the river bank where there was a tall tree with a large holein it. “The crocodile bided his chance, and one morning, when Maranda visited the water, he seized her by the hand, and swept her on his back, and carried her to the hiding place in the hollow tree. He left he there, and swam down opposite the village, and signaled to Mafala that he had per- formed his part of the bargain, *On being left, Maranda looked about the hole, and saw that she was in a kind of pit, but a long way up the hollow nar- rowed, and she could see the branches and o bit of sky. She determined to climb up, and though sho seratched her- self very much, she finally managed to reach the very top, and she crawio side into the air. The tree was very large and lofty, and the branches sproad out far, and they were laden with the heavy fruit of which elephants are so fond. - At first she thought that she could not starve because of 80 many of these big fruit; then she had the idea that they might be useful to defend her- self, and she collected u great number of them and laid them in a heap over some sticks she had laid across the branches. “By-and-by Mafala came, and, afte jeering at her, began to climb the tree. But when he was only half way up, Maranda lifted one of the beavy fruit and flung it on his head, and he fell to the ground with his senes all in a whirl and his back greatly bruised. When he vecovered he begged the crocodile to help him, and he tried to climb up, but when he had ascended but a little way Maranda dropped one of the elephant fruit fairly on his snout, which sent him falling backwards. Mafala then begged two great serpents to ascend and bring her down, but Ma- randa met them with the heavy fruitone after another, and they were glad to leave her alone. Then the man departed to seck a leopard, but Maranda from her tree saw a canoe on the river with two young fishermen in it, and screamed oudly for hclr‘ The fishermen paddled close” to find that it was Sukila's daughter, the wife of Mafala, who was alone on a tall tree, They waited long enough to hear her story, and then re- turned to the village to gbtain assist- ance. “‘Busandiya was ‘much astonished to hear the fishermen’s news, and forthwith sont a war canoe full of armed men, led by Sukila, to rescué her. By means of rattan climbers they contrived to reach her and to bring her down sately. Some of the war party went away to discover Mafala, while the others watehed for the crocodile and the two serpents. In @short time the cruel man was seen and caught, and brought to the riverside, bound with green withes. They now tied his legs and arms together, and, after they nad made Maranda repeat hér stary from the be- glnning, and Sukilahad {old the manner of the marriage, they searched for great stones, which they fastened to his neck, aud, lifting hiw into the war ¢ \noe, they ou; on paddled into tho middle of the stream, where thoy sang a death chant; after which they dropped Mafala overboard, and he was never heard of more. That is all there is of the story of Maranda." Emma 4. Opper in Judge. Thar yo el 1 soe vo, Pookin' out from the *N under thet bix stun fye ain't the meanest sor| Ohooky raseal! Say, d'yo © boen here with this yo ce-doop in the crick © hall arternoon? 1" ched moro worms; Emptied out Nary tin Obsi'n Thin my pocket's nigh An’yo hain't bit posky, sly, ocklod coot, yo! -foolln’ mo? Hin’ 1o quit Thar yo ho— cheop cone down t¢ itin’ here. 1 swow COW U'mw v! nothin' 1ike a wink, i sokod Ye oxasperati ¥o orn'ry seamp! thar goos t worn, squirmin® ke fun, Jest fairly ticklin® yor noso; An' Lain't makin d er Hroathin', Thy ked yor oyo— © whippo n that thar stun, kin' with yer tail- Ki, yi! tw Thar, M London Judy: The Meenister (to young licentiate, who has fillod his pulpit for the day.)—Ye'll mebbo tak' a wee drappie whusky, Mr. McLambkin? Mr. MeLambkin—Oh, no, thank you. .I never touch fntoxicants! The Meeni come inta mu stoody and me? Mr. MeLambkin—Thanks, smole. The Meenister—nac ye eat gr M. MeLambkin ny The Meenister—Then gang awa’ ye Gomeril, for yo've no fit company for either man or beast. 'hen mebbo ye'll va bit pipe wi' no. I never - Chicago Tribune: *\Wha is to perform tho age cevemony for Miss Vyne and Mr. Ellum?" “The young Rev. Dr. Newcor Who else?” “Of course—of course! He always gots the marrying jobs. I think it's a Shame that good Pastor Millsap, who was here twenty years before that young man came, is alw forgotten when there is an affair of this kind.” “Why, Brother Millsap can't complain. He always gets the funerals ! , of course. Portland Oregonian: In oue of the Sunday schools at Olympia 18 a_little Chinese boy who takes great interest in all the proceod When impressed with the proj inging a nickel to put in_the contvibu- a box, he prot cesponded, but parted with it hoe “What fo'? acher “It's for Jesus, my h the sume ques- Me answer he third Sunday the same, but now the little Celes : opened with earnestness as he furthe “desus allus bloke?’ The reply teacher is not recorded. Ked replic “And now,” said the editor. “lot us be kful forone day of rest and gev ready suid his wifo, *run out and chop some wood and milk_the cows aud light the five and make the coffee and wash the child- ren, while I bang my hairl” a o “The Congregationdlist” says that this is the season in which amine the building for suficient justification to ax nounce: “Churca closed during the summor for repairs.” P didn’t” the missiona! that the savages didn’t wear any clothe: Mother—Ycs, my bo “Then why did pa s missionury box?” Freddio—N say ¥ put a button in the ALION AL, The senior class at Yale this y bers 185, forty-six coming 1 K. thirty froni Connecticut, twelve from Massa- chusetts and the rest scatterin ‘The building committeo of th trustees of Cornell university is gaged unon plans for the ) college and for the new dairy building, for whicn £150,000 has been appropriated by the state. Eighteen hundred girls wero gradua ted from the cooking schools of Boston durin; the past twelve months. This will simplify the watrimonial probleni. Justice Henry B. Brown of the States board of Uni apreme court is delivering a special of iectures on admiralty law before L Ann Arbor, West Point is turning out more office than places can be found for in the s This year's bateli of grad while there are only forty-five be filled in the field. The ha vacancies o other five will ry has iv ch government er 1,000 students’ theses and educational aphs iss thedirection of the minister of publi tion by the leading French universitie overnment schools The graduating class of Carthage college, Illmois, this year consists of one young woman, > has taken all the honors and and salutatorian, em of resident fellowship has been ch fellow is o 1 ar, These fellowships may be assigned by the faculty for one or s cach to ‘such students as way al proficiency in any one depart- ment of study. The stude y be called to dct as assistunts to professors but are not expected to teach. The number of fellowships have been placed at four. It will be comforting to school children and their parents, says the Chicago Post, to Know that during the summer vacation the walls and ceilings of the public hool rooms. are to be colored with some agreeable tint, To some this may appear & small matter, but not to the better. The scho grimy with divt, or, what en - wi staring, glaring white plaster. The former condition is unsightly and unhe: latter is highly injurious to the dren engaged in study. —— And She Did. A-girlina Maine village who made her home with her aunt was often dis turbed by eviden of the old lady's in- difference to everything but the welfare of her own matérial possessions, One day in going down cellar for some butter, sho tripped and fell heavily for quite a distance. The maiden aunt rushed to the door, and peering down into the darkness, called out sharply: “D'ye break the dish?” “No!" thundered back the niece, for onee thoroughly aroused. *No! but I will!” and she shivered it with a hoearty good will against the cellar wall, T Statistics of Beer. There are 51,000 bre world. As would naturally be supposed, Germany leads with 26,240, England is second with 12,874, while the Uni States holds third place with 2,300, the consumption of beer Bavaria e the other German provinces with an an- nual average of 221 litres per head. Berlin averages 101 litres, Belgium 169, England 143, Donmark 33, Switzerland and the United States 31, and Sweden only 11. A litre is about one and three- quarter pints, making the Amer consumption average about twenty-seven quarts per capita. A good many must be getting more than their share. e 0s in the Before breakfast Bromo-Seltzer Acts as a bracer—trial bottle 10 cts, ——— The Chewsures—a race of 7,000'people—in the department of Troust, government of Tiflis, know nothing of the use of money as a means of exchange. The unit of value among thoge primitive people is the cow. A horse is valued at three cows and a stallion at six, If a Chewsure becomes enraged and SOME POP RIFORH;. A Bold Slap at the Mi eman in He Is the Lower, A novel attompt to_strike at middlo- men is embodied in & law which has been enacted in Kansas, and which will go into effect July 1. The law requires all railroad companies doing business in that state to construct track scales at every station where the aggregate shipments of grain and seed during the preceding yoar have amounted to a hundred car- oads. The object is to enable farmers who grow grain to deliver it divectly to the railroads, instead of being obliged to sell to the propriotors of elovators at such torms as they choose to offer. The new law requires the railroad company to give a bill of lading for the exact amount of theshipment, and holds it responsible for any shortage exceeding one-fourth of 1 per cent. The shipper is to pay 25 cents per carload for weighing. Kanss. REFRIGE RATORS. SOLID OAK OR ASH. SIX WALLY CHARCOAL FILLED, All Styles, Sizos and Prices. Sho (an heiress)—What made you love me? Tknow my face is plain. He (with enthu- siasm) —Perhaps, dearest; but your figus attractive. TV:ENTY YEARS THE LEADERI!II Corahs, Plourisy, Rhoumatism, Selat Tumbago Back-Ache, and all Extornat = Allments removed quickly by BENSON’S which is the only PgROl]ls L L}ll;'l:“rfilnl:!n“ml\\'ulul A urative modern dients VET ABSOLUTELY SAFE POSITIVE in its action, e onson’s Plasters Prevent Pnenmonia, It docs 110t curo chronic allments in a min. wte, nor does it croate an electrio battery or currentin thesystem,nor will it cure by merely reading the label, all'such claima aro made by Quiscks and hnmbugs. BENSON'S Is endorsed l'éfi 000 Physicians and Drofgists. —Don't bo_duped by unscrapalons Droge R Ko e wt o foe emarzviein 0t CONSUMPTION SURELY CURED. To ik Eptron—Please inform your read- ers that I havo n positive remedy for the above named discaso. By its timely uso thousands of hopoless cases have been per-, manently cured. I shall be glad to send two bottles of my remedy froe to any of your readers who live consimption if they will send mo their express and postoftice nddress. T. A, Slocum, M.C., 183 Pearl 8t., New York. BILLISS, MILLINERY. PATTERN HATS - UNTRINMED o TRIMMED HATS COST AND LESS A BEAUTIFUL LINE OF Leghor Hals and Plataus, $2 French Chip Hats In White and All Tints A VERY PRETTY LINE OF RGE BulDVING, CHILDREN'S HATS | Best of Woolens. VERY CHEAP. uperb eflects in Modes and BLISS, ]5]4 l][]uglas St, Finishing of various stylos will NEW PROCESS, GASOLINE RANGE.Improved 1893 MANY NEW FEATURES. THE ORIGINAL THE BEST. MORE SOLD THAN ALLO THERS Milton Rogers & Sons 14th and Farnam Streets. Sole a gents for Nebraska. Dealers supplied at factory prices. Send for catalogue and price list. be noted in our clothes, Frank J. Ramge,Tailor FOR RENT:—Stores and Of- fices in this building. with all conveniences. Inquire of Frank J. Ramge. HIRSCHBERG'S The Cele- RSCHEERG'g - g HI "*Naué»mfisufilg LESy I WAS BIG. I WAS FAT. I FELT MEAN. I TOOK PILLS. ITOOK SALTS, = |bratedNon. cSrucitd changeable 4 Spectacles o2y and B IGOT LEAN. Eye Handsome Women Can Lose Welgn Fast. Homely Men Look Better it Thin. Try Dr. Edison’s System. No Dietinz. Glasses for sale in Om- aha by MAX HOSE 5 Different Grades. This Season's Manfacture. AS LOW AS CAN BE BJUZID IN THE CITY, Lawn Mowers And Hgsre":gfeels. Jas.Morton& Son0q Band worth Twice the Monoey, Office of IT. M. Burton, Ilardware, Caty Sta Jun, 1. 1803 . Edison—Doar xir: T am well ploasod with your troatment of oboslty. I'he band is worth twico the monoy 1t cost, for comfort. [ h reduced my wolght ton’ pounds. I wolgh uow, and Ldid welgh 245, Yours truly, H. M. BUTON They Are Doing Me Cood. Enrlville, 111, May 23, 1522 Loring & Co: Tnclpsed tind 8% i send mo the other two bottles of Dr. Kdison's Obos- ity Pills. I haye used ono andthink hoy aro dotng the work. B M. KGALEY, I, 0. Box 1 Talk So Much About Your Pills, Poorla, 111, June 18, 1502, rl your Obesity Pllls and tho bene: deriving frow thom I think I will try them mysslt cracks his neighbor’s skull he is obliged to Day sixteen- cows. If he breaks o bone of his nelghbors arm five cows will rehabilitate him iu the eyes of society. A wound in the forehead calls for three calves. Please send mo 3 bottles C. 0. 1., and obliga, J. MOBWIR. 40 Perry Streot. Foel Better andWeigh I3 Pounds Less Goshon, Ind.. Sopt. 18, 1502, Gentlemen: Inolosed I send you b, for which you wiil pleaso send methrea botues of the obosity pills. Am taking tho fourth bottie and feol vory much better and wolih 13 pounds loss than whon [ bogan taking thew. 1 will continue treatmont. MUs. J. C ONN, 1 Blxth Stroot. An individual whose helght s 5 foet 1 inoh should welgn 5 foet 8 lnchos (A o 125 pound s 0w 5 foet 10 inches mwo Dr. Edison says: "It may bo well to point out that'in wy experiotce, which 1s necessarily very considerable, many troublesome skin diseases such ecoszema, 820ne. psoriash y arlly caused by obesity. u pills and O L 9 and theso affestions Lave elmost peared. Young Cuban Parrots will arrivo sbout June $th snd a8 buero will bo a Dig demand for tho o thls year o4 account of the air.priogs will bo muoh Now, io or- “Tlie Obesity Krult Salt 1s used n connection wita the Pills or Bands, or both. One tesspoouful inn or inukes a delic 1 ength up to 8 inches add 10 Price of Fruit salt. Pllls $1.50 Per Rottle, or Sent by Mall or Kxpress. Cut tuis out and keep It, sndseud for our full 3 column) artiolo on obesity MENTION ADDRESS BXACTLY A GIVEN LU BE A Loring & Company 2Hawilton Pl Dept. 26, Boston. Mass., 115 State 84, Dept %, Chicago, 1IL,'6) W. Z2aa B, Dept 23, Now York Civy. For sale in Omaha by Snow, Lund & Co. usl rrot same low price AL year, bo- ing Only $8,00 anch. Wo ngrue to book all of 406 North 16th Btreet