Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, March 13, 1892, Page 10

10 IR ANIOSA ICHER AND OTHER STORIES, BY “M. QUAD”. Speotal attontion is called to the fact that Tir Bee has oxclusivo use in its territory of “M. Quad's” current writings, [Copyrighted 1892 by C. B. Lewts.) EXPLANATORY.—In a late issue of the Tho Kicker wo spoke about Tom Jones of the Bald Iagle saloon diluting his whisky until one gallon made five. Such §toms often creep in during the hurry of going to press, Mr. Jones has called at our office and satisfied us that he fol- Jows the rule lInid down by all others, and that one gallon is made to produce only three. We cheerfully make the correction. Nor Our MAN—The boys over in Clinch Valley sent us word the other day that they had hung our agricul- tural editor and wanted to know what ghould be done with the body. We re- plied that our agricultural man was at that very moment sitting in the sanctum of The Kicker und writing a column ar- tiole entitled, “Will the Coming Cow Make Use of the Cactus for Fodder?” The boys had made a mistake. We are not quite certain who thoir victim was ‘but we suspect that he was a naturaiist from Chicago who wrote us about tour weeks ago that he was hoading this wav. The Clinch Yalley boys have besn down on us ever since our winning mule cleaned them out of 75,000 casn on a milo dash, and they no doubt thought they bud a rich joke on us when they run down the tenderfoot. Our agricul- tural editor doesn’t know any too much, but he never strays outside the town. TAKE NoTick.— Whereas, an individual Known as Bill Poole has seen fit to spread tho report that 1 am an escuped prisoner from the Kansas ponitentiaty, this is to no- 1ify him that if he aoes not publicly rotract 1ho samib in tho next issue of ‘The Kicker 1 shall shoot him wherever I may find bim. I am & peacefully minded man,tbut I teel that I must protect my character, which is all I have as working capital. SURE-SH0T JACKSON. Dog fight.—Lovers of this fascinating sport are hereby notified that thero will be a match fight on Thursday evening, at the Inter Ocean saloon, botween Colonel Tabor’s dog, “Sam,” and 'Major Westfield’s dog, “Hero,” The stakes are for 325, and the pest dog wins, Admission 50 cents. Come one—come all. Gentlemen are requested to loave their guns with the ticket taker as thoy pass {n,, His honov the mayor will probably be present as a spectator, but should there bo any promiscuous shooting he will at once futerfere officially and stcp the sport. White's string band will discourse sweet musio whiie the dogs aro being got ready for the ronflict. Four extra barkeevers engaged for the night. THEY MUST GO—When the mayor of this town (who is ourself) returned to his office afts he found Gr v Bill in possession. Bill had been boasting to some of the boys that ho proposed to run the may- or’s office thereafter. We courteously fnvited bim to vacate, but he promptly refused, and called us o one horse mayor of a one horse town. The doctors predicted yesterday that he’ would die as the sun went down, tut he s still living as we go to press, and may pos- sibly pull through. If he dies we shall follow our usual course and bury him in our private graveyard and foot all ex- penses. If he lives we shall advise him to get out of this town as soon as he can wall. The boys die hard, but they must go. As mayor we have a certain dignity to maintain, and shall maintain it at any cost. Our ofticial office is neither a poker room nor a‘saloon. As editor of the Kicker Grizzly Bill and the rest of the gang can facetiously poke ugin the ribs and amash our hat over our s, but as mayor we shall permit no undue famil- farity. MR. AND MRS. BOWSER. “Do you kuow,” suddenly observed Mr. Bowser as he looked up from his paper the other evening, *'do you know that we are going to the poor house at railrond speed?” “*Why, no!” replied Mrs. Bowser in considerable alarm. “Well, we are, and I think itis high time I called a halt. This reckless waste and unheard of extravagance must cease. I'm going to put my foot down!” “W-what reckless waste?” she asked. ‘“This reckless waste every day in the week!” he sevorely replied. = “It is evi- dont to me that you have no idea of the value of money, and that you let every- body swindle you. 1 have been looking over some of the grocery and meat bills, and it is positively shocking, the way you have been robbed.” “Why, Mr. Bowser! Noone can buy more carefully than I do! I am some- times ashamed of mysell for being so [] nfiy"’ “No woman is a careful buyer, Mrs. Bowser. The Lord didn’t create her that way. Give her a ten dollar bill and she becomes fasr!ecfly reckless, I am satisfied that 1can cut down our ex- penses at least $7 per week, and I pro- Pose 1o do the buying myseli hereaftor,” STt wasn't four weoks ago that you were complimenting me on my financier- ing,” she protested. r. Bowser arose, crossed his hands under his coattails, and balancing on his heols and toes he said: *Mrs. Bowser, no wife should talk back to her husband. He is the head of thehouse. He knows what is best. He was creatod to know. I shall not only run this house for the next two weeks to show you what I can do, but T shall make & mvln’z to open your eyes in astonishment.” - MWaell; if things do not go right you mustn’t blame me,"” she rejoined, *‘Blame you! When did I ever blame you? You can’t be blamed because you dou’t know the value of money. ‘No woman can. As a man I am simply sorry for your sex. After breakfast next morning Mr. Bowser entered the kitchen and asked the cook what was wanted. She gave him a list of about twenty different ar- ticles, and he put it in his pocket and walked out. An hour later two quarts of beans and a loaf of bread were deliv- ered from the grocery. When Mr, Bowser sat down to lunch he found nothiog - but bread and butter - and water. **What does this mean?” he demanded of Mrs. Bowser across the table. “*You are doing the buying now,” she guietly replied. **Yes—um! And in order to spite me 1 suppose you instructed the girl to throw everything outdeors? I understand,Mrs, Bowser—I understand!” *“There was nothing to throw out. She [un you a list of things wanted, and you id not send thom.” Mr. Bowser had no moretosay. Soon ter his departure the butcher’s boy ht & piece of beef and two dozen clothespine. At dinner he found the meat and some bread and butter. “How much have you been paying for beefstoak '’ he asked of Mra. Bowser, tFrom fourteen to sixteen cents.” *And I‘fim this for eleven! Thut shows thoe difference at once! No wou- der we were on our way to the poor- house!" Mr. Bowser broke his knife in trying to cut the steak, and the small piece he finally got into his mouth almost pulled his teeth out, but he smiled and pre- tended to be pleased, and when he shoved back from the table he rubbed his hands and suid: “A woek ago todny you puid out six dollars, My expenses for the day are | only sixty-four cents, Quite n differ- ence, oh? The grocer and butcher look as if they had heard somothing drop.” Atbreakfast next morning Mr, Bowser found some pancakes ana wator on the table. He was about to break forth when he caught himself and observed: “Our great fault as a nation, Mrs. Bowser. have bocome arace of gormands and dyspoptics.” “And this will cure us, I suppose?” she replied. as she looked from the pun- cankes to the water and back. “It will help to. T haven’t the least doubt that hoth of us witl feel better to- day than for a week before, and still further, we know that we have not been highway robbed.” That day Mr. Bowser sent soap and potatoes. The next day he sent coflce and starch. On the next he sent tea and bluing. “Mrs, Bowser,” ho began,as he sat down to his fourth dinner and found only coffee and potatoes on the table, “I have now been running this house for four duys.” “Yos,” “I have saved over any four days of yours at ienst §7 in cold cash, . I told you itcould be done and it has been done. I shall now turn the matter over to you again, expecting you to profit by my tenchings ““You have dono so well that you had better continue!” she quietly observed. “Having demonstrated to you that there is no need of being robbed and swindled, and being pressed for time, I shell hereafter expect you to do the marketing. I ay have to step in at intorvals,but of course any husband will cheerfully do that. As I toid you be- fore, wo wife can be blamed for what she doesn’t know. Having had the benefit of wy experionce, if you allow yourself to be swindled again’it will be your own fault.” Next day at dinner Mrs. Bowser had turkey, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce and other good things, and Mr. Bowsar looked about him and observed: “*Well, you deserve credit, Mrs. Bow- ser, and 1 'am glad to accord it.” She looked at him inquiringly. “I showed you how this house could be ruri on the same _system of a bank, and your were seasible enough to adopt my suggestions, and this is the result! am considerably ercouraged, Mrs. Bowser—considerably encouraged. In a year or two more, if you will follow out this line, you will almost be compe- tent to go down to the store with a twenty-dollar bill and invest it as well asI could.” UP THE FURROV. The halfbreed and I had been away from camp for soveral hours, leaving only Sam, the colored man, vheve and were returning by the mountain trail. The last bend in th 8 trail was seventy or eighty rods to the west of our camp and two hundred feet above it, and we instinctively naused for a look. There were the two tents, the horses and mules picketed beyond, a smolder- ing camp five, thenegro lying on the broad of his back with his head toward us. It.was 3 o’clock in, the afternoon of a summer’s day. - Sam was apparently dozing, for it seemed an effort for him 1o raise a hund to brush away the flies which persisted in settling on his face, We wero about to go on,when Joe sud- denly caught: his ‘breath and grasped by arm and pointed to a spot about haif way between the buse of the bluff and the camp. There was a sort of natural drain or furrow running along the earth, deepening in our direction,and here and there was a bunch of weeds to prove a little dampness. The grass was greener, too. but not high enough to shelter a rabbit. 1t was half a minute before I could make out the cause of Joe’s alarm. Then my eyes rested ou & full grown mountain lion working his way up that furrow. He had already accomplished half the distance, and just av that moment lifted himself almost erect to take a peep at the negro. “‘Let us cry out and warn him,” I whispered. **It is too lute!” replied Joe. **Should he oven got up tho beast would be upon him in a flash!” “Then shoot!” *‘It is too far!” You huve seen a hunter stalking game, but here was a fierce and hungry wild beast stalking a defenceless man. The scene was as plain and clear hefore us ay if the distance was only a stone’s throw. After the first few words we were silent. After the first move to use our_ rifles we simply waited. We certainly intended to do something, but —wait! " See! It was a sight ever to be remembered to watch that lion making his way up the furrow. . He advanced foot by foot. He flattened out until you would have thought him a skin spread out to be cured, and he dragged himself along tho earth, You knew he moved, but you 8aw no motion except that of his tail, Moving ahead or lying quiet, the tail switched back and forth with scarcely a second’s interval. About every minute one of the negro’s hands was lazily raised and waved across his face. When this happened, the lion, who could plainly see the black paw sweep the air, settled down as if to spring. In the in- torvals he crept forward. ‘We stood there like men of stone and saw the distance decrease foot by foot. The lion had yet 100 feet to creep when my mustang, feeding at least 300 feet from the other edge of the camp, raised his head and snuffed the air. The scent of the lion had come down to him. He must have seen us, as we stood out in l;‘l)uin view, but he did not whinny, as th of us feared he would. Halfa winute later Joe's pony also got the scent and started off at a fast walk. The lion remained asquiet as if dead for a full minute, waiting to see if the movement of the horses would arbuse the man, ' It did not. Sam had grown move drowsy, and his hand was raised at longer intervals. Now the tufted tail waves to and fro again, and now the distance is again decreased. Foot by foot, foot by foot, and I have forgot- ten everything else on earth in watching the progress, Now it is sixty feet—now fifty—now forty—now the lion has set- tled down for a leap which will land him on the body of the sleeping man, when [ hear the crack of a rifle, see the beast rear up and full backward and struggle, and I sit down with shaking knees and palpitating heart, It was §oe who fired the shot from his old-fashioned, long- bavreled rifle. He had ouly the faintest hope, but it wus a dead shot, the bullet entering the back of the head. The beast died hard. His limbs were yet twitching as we reached the spot. Never had hunter in the west seen a larger lion. He had the strength to pull down a buffalo bull. The negro? We found hiw sound asleep, of course, M. Quab, Champague bas a large aniouut of carbonic aoid fn 1t it is .m, and nourisbing. Coole's Extrs Dry lwporial 13 the best. THE OMAHA DAILY BEE: SUNDAY, MARCH 1 A PECULIAR GIRL. Mrs, William Winter in New ¥ork Ledger Rachel Landor began life by being pe- culiar, Instend of the customary and orthodox yell with which the youthful | inhabitants of this planet greet their first sight of it, Rachel remained vor fectly quiet, only looking up into the nurse's face with a calm and question- ing gaze, which greatly disconcerted that experienced matron—or, to quote her own words, causing her to be *so all struck of a heap, it was a blessed mira- clo she hadn’t dropped the uncanny lit- | tlo thing then an’ thore, nn’ so stonped that we eat too much, Wo | her from any chance of muking any noise in the world, either then or there- after.” But the baby thrived, although she Dbegan witha perverse preference for the bottle, rather than her natural suste- nance, giving the second proof of what her nurse called her *‘peculiarness:” and as her young life advanced from weeks to months, and from months to years, she managed to keep up her reputation, s0 early begun, of being unlike other children. Of course she heard a great denl of this ‘‘peculiar” way of hers, and she liked being made the sub- Anyway, sho soon b bued with the idea thav everything that happoned to her was spocial und unus- unl; and though naturally warm-hearted, and not move selfish than the gener: run of ner age and sex, she certainly developed a remarkable amount of egotism. At 18 she fell in love, quite convinced that, though other girls might have ] imagined themselves in love before her time, thore had never really been any one who thoroughly understood the helghts and depths of that passion till it was exemplified in her. ‘George Mur- ray encouraged her in that belief, and declured that he respoaded to it with fervor and intonsity which could only be experienced in the unknown recesses of the male heart. There was soon an almost bitter feel- ing of rivalry between the lovers as to which of them loved the more,and while this feeling was at the height, Amy Riv- ers came home from boarding school. Amy was the kind of girl that men go mud about. She was small and slender, with dainty hands, and feet of diminu- tive size, and a heart of similar ‘@imen- sions. She had a mass of flufly blonde hair, a complexion of lilies. and . roses, and great china-blue eyes, very soft and dewy, and shaded by long, silky lashes, that gave them an expression of deep feeling, such as_their owner had never rienced in all her shallow life. For st, she had great taste in the adornment of her charming person, and her maid faithfully carried out her best ideas. Miss Amy Rivers very spoedily settled the curious rivalry that had existed be- tween the lovers. She had nov been home a week when George Murray ceased protesting the superior depth of his attachment to Rachel. By the end of the second week ho neverspoko of his love at ail, and looked bored when his fiancee spoke of hers. By the end of the third weel he had almost ceased visiting Ruchel, and then only on ‘compulsion; and by the end of the fourth week tho whole town was talking of his clopement with Amy Rivers, und wondering if Rachel Landor—who had fallen like one dead when she learned of it—would ever rise from the bed on which they laid her. But Rachel 'didn’t die. As she said, bitterly, that would have been too simple; and, being peculiar, she had to live for something much harder to bear. Poor girl! it was really a great grief, and her sufféring was acute; but, after her custom, she made it worse. s There had never been so great a wrong committed against any woman, and none other had ever felt such so deoply. ) Having said that, she closed her lips on the subject. Year after year went by, and many people had forgotten Rachel Landor and those who knew her sometimes failed to-recognize the worn, haggard woman of 25, who certainly looked ten years older; and when peeple spoke of her it was either with pity or contempt. \iSuohis wasted ifalan only GHIA! worshiped by her parents, who were dying of grief for her selfish grief—a rich woman, too, who might be doing 50 much good with her hoarded. wealth— and all about a man who had jilted her! It was wicked and shameful,” said her critics, and likely enough they were right. But Rachel did not hear them; and if she had she would not have cared, for in her own way her life was ordered care- fully and methodically, and her money was not hoarded nor wasted; but, being L)qcuuur. a8 usual she chose to live in er own way, and to do that which she felt she could do, in the manner that best suited her. The poor, the sick and the suffering know her well. They did not think ber life u wasted one, What this poor, em- bittered, disappointed womsm felt in the silent depths of her own reticent,intense nature, she hardly knew herself; for she shrank from formulating = her own thoughts even to her own mind, but oc- casionully something in the outside world seémed to shapo them for hor. As, for instance, one morning when she sud- denly found herself ing at an old woman whom she met in her morning walk—a wretched woman, her unkempt frowze of gray, straggling locks, her clothes tattered and torn, though well hidden by an old black shawl that draped her head and fell in folds about her—a most painful and unloyely sight in the morning of an early, cold March day. “*Shall I ever look like that?” thought Rachel. **Old, withered, broken-hearted —poor old woman! Perhaps if I could know her story I should learn that some man jilted her in the sweet springtime of long sgo. Being a poor, gentle femi- nine creature, she didn’t die, though her heart broke: and as the burden of life grow 100 heavy to bear, she began to drink—at first, to forget, and then to keep warm.” The tears that seldom rose to Rachel’s eyes for her own woes, overflowed for the imagined sorrow of this forlorn old wreck of humanity. The woman was ?uick to see, and instaotly stretched (urth an tm‘rloring band, in. which Rachel placed a liberal donation. It was this incident that paved the way for an unexpected but far more im- portant encounter. As Rachel, walking quickly, and with eyes still wet with tears, and a heart wildly throbbing with newly quickened feeling, turned the cor- ner of the street, she rushed directly in- to the arms of lyouuf mun who was coming toward her. He was pale and wan; he stooped under the weight of that experience thet is more aging than years; but Rachel knew him in an in- stant, and his arms involuntarily closed about her and held her for one moment to his breast, she cried out, as if he had thrust a dagger in her: “Geoi ge—George Murray!” *Rachel,” he said softly, ‘‘forgive me. [did not mean to touch you. It was 80 sudden—" “Yes, yes; I know., It is my fault. I didn’t see you.” And she wrenched herself from his hold; it was, indeed, from nis embrace; for he clung to her as if he could wot airain fot hel do." Bat secing her face, which grow=tEm marble at sight of him, his arms deogped away from hor, “Oh, can 3%: forgive me,” he orled, STt was all A'wild delirium-—a madnessg: 1 never loved but you! Can you no give me—can you not even try to for, me?" il I cannot evgn try,,’ she said, and her voice wns liki the knell of hope; and, with n gesture of unspeakable contempt, d him aside and passed on. fled home Rachel Landor never knew; but some hours later she was ‘aware that she was in her own room, the Uobt locked, and all the world shut ot How long' she had been there she didn’t know, but she remembered that when she came in she had sunk upon the sofa hall-fainting: but now her boart was beating wildly and every pulse thrilled as if with some new life— a feverish, delirious ecstacy such as she had never known before, She glanced up and saw the reflection of hersélf in the long mirror opposite, and wonder- ing, doubting her own oyos, sho rose, went over to the looking-glass and stared. Was that Rachel Landor, that radiant vision of brilliant, gracious womanhood? The years seemed to have rolled back; she looked ten years younger than she had looked w she went out that morning. A glorious excitement glowe in her great, deep, dark eyes, her cheeks and lips were flushed with the hue of the rose; the mass of dark brown hair, usually worn in a tight knot at the back of her head, had slipped from its fastoning and fell in a_disheveled, wav- ing, glossy mass about her neck and shoulders, reaching to her waist, and nher tall, slender figure, in its uncon- scious poise of triumph, had all the lis- some grace of buoyant girlhood. *'Can it bo I?” she murmured wonder- ingly. “Yos, it is, indeed I, and Iam beautiful. Ah!my day has come—the day I never cven dared to hope for! He loves me and Iam a thousand times more beautiful than that pale doll that took him from me! And he—he loves me! My hour has come! It is just and T will use my power. I will be revenged —revenged!” And, like poor old Lear, Rachel deter- mined that her vengeance should be the terrors of the earth—a revenge unique, unusual, peculiar, like herself. From that day Rachaei Landor re- turned to society. She soon learned what, had she been accustomed to the gossip of the town, she would have known months ago—that Murray had returined a broken hearted, ruined man, bitterly. disappointed in the wife who had squundered his fortune in their brief married life, leaving him not even the memory of her love when he laid her in the grave, her shallow, frivolous heart forever stilled, and his life embit- tered with the mingled voison of self- contempt and remorse. It was vergspan as plain to all who saw him as:itiwas to Rachel, that his love had returfiéfl to his first object with u passionate infonsity such as he had never before known himself capable of; and, indeed, o pnly scomed to live in Rachel’s presence, seeking her when- ever slie could be found, following her every moverent with adoring eyes, breathing almost to the sound of her voice. But he. -never put his love into words; he scafcély dared to speak to her at all, content if he might only gaze on her when she moved. How Rachel feft about this silent wor- ship none could tell—in some ways she was more pecokiar than ever—but it lovked at timeg & if she chafed under it. One night Rachel Landov missed the { Geopge Murray from a large v, at whieh. she ~was, as usual, rilliant and beautiful attraction. hour after hour went by and still he camo not, she was uncasy, the people soon bored har. Presently she could endure the crowd no longer, and with a strange, uneasy tremor, she withdrew quietly, orderea her carriage and was driven home. The same thing hap- pened the next night, and the next. On the fourth night she had grown almost haggard with disappointmentanda—rage, she snid to herself. But presently she overheard a remark dropped in a whisper: “George Murray is ill—dying. The doctor gives no hope.” And at these words the very beating of her heart seemed to stop. YN Dying!’ -she repeated in a sharp, agonized whisper. **Impossible! He must not bo ill.. He'dave not die.” Her vengeance was not yot complete; that reveng for which she lived—on which she li her very life itself! She flad from the place, and hiding herself within her carriage, bade the coachman todrive tothe home of George Murray. She soon found that his condition had not been exaggerated. A violent and deadly form of typhoid had sticken him, and he was already raving in delirium. ‘The physician made no pretense of hope. He told Rachel plainly that in all human probability her friend was doomed. ““s'here is but the shadow of a chance in a hundred that he may live.” “But, doctor, we will take that one shadowy change, and let the other ninety-nine go,” said Rachel. Doctor Frank looked at her, but said nothing; he didn't understand her. Like everyone else in the place,he knew Rachel’s story, and he asked himself: Could it be possible, after all, that she toved this man who had jilted her and broken her heart? Her face told him nothing. She was very pale, and her eyes glowed like live coals—but their meaning was a mystery to him. On the follewing morning Rachel took her place in Murray’s room; capable nurse wuas already there; and being a woman, perhaps she understood Rachel better than the doctor; an she made no objection to her proser and if she had, it would not have wade any differencce, Miss Landor was - customed to haying her own way. Tho days wenl by and grew iato weeks, and they weve slow and tedious to nurse and ‘phisician, as such days were wont to bg, for they begun now to count the hoursatill George Murray's breathing shoultl’épase—that breathing that was often {so faint that more than once it seemed tovhuve censed entirely But Rachel kept #fo reckoning of tim One day in tht early summer the w dows were openy for it was very warm, and the odordds ' breath of roses and honeysuckle and purvle clematis filled the room with pesfume, The sick man lay asleep, whitg '(,H the tall lilies in the window, iy “He 'will never come out of this sleep,” said the tpse in a hushed voice. Rachel drew a tong breath, and took the wasted hand dn both her own and heid it close,whilé her very soul scemed to pass into that touch. She bent over him, almost as pala as himself, only that her cheeks burned und her eyes were fixed on his face with a look that secimed to bathe him in the glow and fervor of their light. She did not speak, and her gaze never left him. Hours passed. The hand she held lost its deathly chill, and grew warm and moist; a faint, dewy molswure was on the brow and temples, and the breathing grew stronger, longer, and steadier. It was evening when the sloeper stirred slightly, slowly unclosed his eyes und smiled, as he looked up and revognized Rachel. It wus a week later and she was again beside him; while Dr. Frank and the nurse spoke of him in the next room, comparing notes a¥ to his strange and unexpected recovery. “Ttuy say you have saved we, Ra- 3. 1892-SIXTEEN | ¢hel," he said, in a voice still faint and 10 Yes. T could notlet you go,George. " “And what are you going todo with mo?" “Lam going to be venged on you,” “Ah! But how, dear?” rry you—" menn you have for- i Um afraid so,” murmured Rachel. “You know, George, that I was ulways vory peculiur. she bent down and pressod a long. lingoring kiss upon his trembling 1{ps. NGS, hes the Records ral Arti N The first vell rung in America was erected on the first church ever built in this country, early in 1494 Columbus landed at Isabella, in the is land of San Domingo. in December, 1493, and soon built » church. Shortly rwards o new city was begun in tho royal plain of La Vegn and was called Ln Vega, or the City of the Plains. The church with its bell, and all the other houses of Isabella, was then moved to La Veoga. In 1542 the new City of the Plains was destroyed by an earthquake. About a quarter of a century ago, in the branches of a fig treo which had grown up among the ruins of the belfry tower of the church, a bell was seen, which proved to be the original bell in ques- tion, and this historic bell is now in the of Washington, It is of bronze, ght inches by six and a half, beurs the lotter I in old Gothic aracters, and has the image of San Miguol on its sur- fuce. : The first drops of blood shed in the war of tho rchellion, it has beon de- clared, are at the present time in the possession of Colonel B. F. Hawkes of tha pension office in Washington. They were shed by Colonel B. I' Kelley, who commanded the federal forces at the vattle of Philippi, the first battle of the war, One of the bullets fired pierced Colonel Kelley's lung and stained his vest, which was preserved. Colonel Kelloy did not die, although the sur- geon pronounced his wound mortal. The first printing press in the United States began its civilizing work at Cam- bridge, Mass., in Harvard university in 1639. The first American-mude illus- tration, it is believed, is in Tully’s Al- manac. of Boston, in 1698. The first American copper-plate portrait pub- lished in this country was in Increase Mather’s “*Ichabod,” published in 1703, The first three engravers were Paul Revere, Benjamin Franklin and [saiah Thomas, who distinguished himself at the battlo of Loxingtcn. The first_porterhouse steak was so named in New York City, in the famous old tavern of Martin Morrison, at 327 Pearl ‘street. “This was a favorite resort 'of seafaring men A steak being called for by an old pilot one night, Morrison said he had no steaks, but would cut and broil for him a_thick slice from the sirloin, which had just been prepared for rousting tho next day. Morrison’s place was known as the Porter House in the neighborhood, and its frequenters soon got to talking about the Porter House stenks. Mor- rison finally told Gibbons, his butcher in the Fly Market, to cut up sirloins for him thereafter. The first mirrors of which there isany record were in use among the Israelites in the time of Moses, and were made of brass. When the Spaniards first landed in South America they found mirrors of polished black stonein use among the na- tives.. The first mirrvorof solid siiver was made by Pasiteles in the time of Julius Cewsar: Inthe Fifteenth century the first. glass mirrors were made in Ger- many by a blow-pipe and were convex. The first. manufactory of gl mirrors for sale was established in Venice early in the Sixteenth contury. The firat mateh was the product of the ingenuity of John Frederick Komerer, who early in this century was impris- oned in the penitentiury at Hohenasperg, in Germany. He invented the lucifer match while in his gloomy dungeoa. The German government forbade the manutacture of matches on the ground of; public policy, because some children playing with them had caused a fire, Komerer was rvined by Viennese com- petition when he was released [r prison and died a uper. Up to 186 the Vientiy manufacturerscontroiled the match business of the entire world. Lo The Clergyman's Good Advice, Chicago Tribune: ir,”” he sa1d as he stalked Into the clergyman’s study, *‘you ave the man who tied the knot, I be- lieve.” “I beg your pardon,” said the clergy- man, looking up from his sermon. “You performed the marriage cere- mony for me, did you not?” *Yes, certainly, Mr, Willings, What, may I ask—-~> ““Then you know what the rights of a husband are?”’ **Why, yes, in a general way.” “*And the rights of a wife?"” *Of course. “Well, now, sir,”said the caller, draw- ing a chair up to the clergyman’s desk and taking a seat, “*hus a.wile a license to torture her husband?” *‘Certainly not,” “If sho makes his life miserable he has recourse, of course?” *Yes, but I should advise—" “Never mind your advice now. We'll come to that later. My wife complains that I don’t shave often enough.” 0, that's a small matter,” “g it, sir? Is it? Just wait! I told her that that was my affair, and then she taught the children to cry when I kissed them so thatshe could say that my rough chin hurt them,” *That hardly showed a Christian —" ““Wait o minute! Yesterday morning I found them playing with the cylinder of u broken music box. You know how thats eems to the touch?” “Certaioly,” “Well, shie’d taught them to eall it 1pa’s chin, ™ “Really, sir, I must admit—-" “Wait till I'm through. Today one of them got on my kuee, passed his littlo hand over my chin, and culled it *Papu’s music box.” Now, sir, I ask of you as a Christian man and as the. mun who tied the koot, what shall I do?” b “Get shaved,” replied the clergyman softly as he returned to his work. WOO0DBURY’S FACIAL SOAP Fur tho Bk in, Sealp and Complexion, T, rowult it % 'years® expo ¥ JOHN K. WOODEURY, Dermatological Institute, 125 West 42ud Street, Now York City, GONDRRHEA, GLEET AND LUCOERRHEA CURED in 2dsys by the French Remedy, entitled, The King. 1t dissolves ugainst and (s absorbed into the iniamed parts Will retund money if it does notcure, or causes stricture. Gueutlemeat hero 18 8 roliablo article, # pikage or 2 for £, by mail prepaid. Bnow, Luna¥ (o, Omaha ‘When I say oure | do not mean morvly to stop for a tiwo and then havo thean return again. ol cure. I bisve made the d.sease of FITS, 9 LEPSY or FALLING SICKNESS o lfe-long study, 1 warraut my sewedy Lo care the worst cass, Because others bave failed is no reason for not now receiving & Gure. Bend st orce for & troatise aud Free Bottlo of wy tnfallible remedy, G i3 pross sud Pust Office. 4. G. ROOT, M. C., 183 Pear) 81, N. ¥V, PAGES ne'er grumble, AND Is the cause of our bliss; Our life is a For all sorts of cleaning = =N It ne‘er,comes amiss. MADE ONLY BY N.KFaireaNK & Co. Chicaco, Dear Si) We will be pleased to mail to you, sceurely sealed and free from all marks,a copy of our treatise on :' the Irving Treatment of the Decline of Manhood and Nervous Debility. Also sample of the Irving l Specifics. Znclose stamp to cover postage. Respectfully Yours, == IRVING HOMROPATIIC INSTITUTY, 86 FiRth Avenue, Neeroru L e e e The UNPRECEDENTED SUCCESS™ that the Behr Bros. & Co's. LA NS Have attained, and the high praise they have elicited from the worli’s MOST RE- NOWNED ARTISTS rom the press and from a public long prejudiced in favor of Ider makes, it is safo to assume that the instrument must be possessel of UNCOM MON ATTRIBUTE! MAX MEYER & BRO. CO, Established 1866. DIAMOND BRAND L";rcr«:srmw}nnu:r«, RED VCIHIS\Y 5 PENTRIREVAL "THE GRIGINAL AND GNUINE £1at for Chichester's English Diamond Jiran Fel o mootier Lind, Sole Agents, Omaha, Nebraska, M C3" Mnaison Sau L v\lll-lhl'lll,\‘nl'bm Palace Otfice Building OF OMAHA. ABSOLUTELY FIRE PROOE. NOT A DARK OFFICE IN THE BUILDING 68 VAULTS, NAUGLE COMPANY, Telograph Poles, Cross Ties, Lumbe MUIR & ¢ o CITY COMPTROLLER. FIRST FLOOR: THE OMAHA BEE COUNTING:ROOM, Ad- vertising and Subscription Departments. AMERICAN WATER WORKS COMPANY. SECOND THE PATRICK LAND COMPANY, Owners of Dundee Place, DR. CHARLES ROSEWATER. PROVIDENT SAVINGS LIFE, of New York MASSACHUSETTS MUTUAL LIFE INS ANCE COMPANY. OMAHA FIRE INSURANCE INSPECTION BUREAU, C. HARTMAN, Tnspeotor. 3 THIRD OHN GRANT, Contractor for Strect and Side- walk Pave ROBERT W. PATRICK, Law Ofiices. EQUITY COURT NO. 1 EQUITY COURD N LAW COURT No. 4 J ‘A\‘.A AMBERS, Abstracts WAL SIMERA L, ! FOURTH NORTHWESTERZ MUTUAL LIFE INSU- ANCE COMPANY CONNECTICUT MUTUAL LIFE INSUR- ANCE COMPANY. PENN MUTUAL LIFE INSURANCE COM- PANY. HARTFORD LIFE AND ANNUITY INSUR- ANCE COMPANY, MEAD INVESTMENT COMPANY. ;) nsurance. 10 COMPANY, ivil Englueer. FIFTH HEAD QUARTERS, U, 8. ARMY, DEPART- NT OF THE PLATTE, 33 Officos. COMMAN RMASTER. COMMISSARY OF SUBSISTENCE MEDICAL DIRECTOR. HARTMAN & COLLINS. Oast Irou Gas und Water Pipe. € LAMBERT SMITIL G. I BEINDORKF, Architect. REED PRINTING CO. U, 8. ARMY PRINTING OFFIOES. M OTURERS AND QUNSUMERS AS- SOCIATION, SEVENTH FLOOR. THE OMAHA PRESS CLUS. . 500 OFf STATIONARY ENGINEERS, THE BER BUILDING, DIRECTORY OF OCCUPANTS: GROUND: FLOOR: CI'TY TREASURER. OMAHA REAL ESTATE AND TRUST CO, MANHATTAN ¥ H.A.WAGNER, A JOHN LETHEM, I OMAHA COAL E ALEX MOORE HBOUN BASH AND DOOL 0O, ROHANTS RETAIL COMMERCIAL ON LAND CO, SIXTH 'FLOO . EDITORIAL ROONS OF Tilk BE and Mafllng rooms. wal Estate. INCANDESCENT [LLECTRIC LIGHTS PERFECT VENTILATION NIGHT AND DAY ELEVATOR SERVICE URANCE 8 JE ASSOCIATION, MORTGAGE & TRUST Y. BUREAU OF CLAIMS 0 and Throat. Ooulist and Aurist, INSURANCE COM- MR 'l‘u/’u'rmu}rr Attornoy. 4 N N. 8 LIPS INSURANCE 00, OMPANY, Sollcltors of t for UnitedStutesMutual psurance Company. blisher, HANGE, rosco Painter. Reu Estats and Loans. TANT QUARTERMASTER, JTOK SMALL ARMS PRAOTIOR 0K ORDNANO! LOAN & INVESTMENT I DEALER. Jompos- A few more elegant office rooms lndy be had by applying ot R. W. Baker, Superintendent, office on counting room floor