Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, November 30, 1890, Page 19

THE OMAHA DAILY BEE, SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 30, 1800—TWENTY PAGES SOME GEMS IN THE ROUGH. Bright Thoughts Selected from the Papers of the Late O, H. Rothacker, HE TURNED THE LIGHT ON SHAMS, Causgic Obseryations on Many Phases of Everyday Life— Frugments of a Proposed Matire on the Irish Movement. By Mr. 7. E. Howard., Tt has fallen to my lot to go through the late O, H. Rathacker's papers, to destroy his private letters and such othor ducuments as pertained to bis personal affairs and intended only for his personal use; such matter, in- deed, as every man would wish should not bo thrown into an alley after he is dead, to be plcked up by any prowling hand. I have long deferred the fulfiliment of the task, through a reluctance born of a consciousness that it would be a painful one. But it had to be done, und in the doing I have found, as I ¥new I would, much fragmentary literary work that scems to be worthy of preserva- tion. Mostof this was written during the last three years of his life and largely con- sists of poetry, but much of itis in the na- ture of suggestions for editorial and literary work It was Mr. Rothacker's habit to jot down & pregnant throught as it occurred to him, for future use, and many of these are strik- inly epigzrammatical, while others are caustic criticisms designed to expose the shams and pretenses of men. The fact is revealed in his letters from distant friends that in his own to them he frequently expressed the conviction that his death was near at hand, and doubtless this convietion, resulting from his frequent illness, accounts for tho fact that much literary work which *he had planned was never undertaken, and of that which was begun little was finished in the permanent form designed. I will endeavor now to glvo some of the wmore striking of his memoranda: To put a great thought into rhyme is like putting the Madonna into corsets, My heart is so full of love that my lungs are empty of sound. My brain isso ready that it says iy tongue, 1 cannot write mueh, so let me hurry niy Ideas into words, The garments may not fit, but I hope the muscle will be there. If is not, the cause will not be at fault. 1don't like Christmas because—that was the day on which I was born. There is one commune—Yes! One that cs God and man—both infinity and humanity. There is as much fault in a clamor as there {s in a glamor. Between the fox-fire of a voice and that of a belief there is very little difference, If some one could write the life of Daniel de Foe as Daniel de Foe could write it would be good reading, A twilight of literature, lit here and there by @ Chinese lantern. After awhile the sun mav rise, The Bret Harte type—a single mountain uk of self-sacrifice issuing from a dead- evel plain of vice, A composite of many mnationali s with a distinct characteristic of its ¢ie due to climatic and political conditions, Holding the glimmering torch of life over the abyss beside who path until it fell from weakened fingers and was lost likos dying star in the darkness beneath. Feel like n ghost that haa the impudence to be alive without the ingenuity to give an explanation why it should be. Vitality all rags and tatters, but the doctor 1s a pretty fair tailor. A gourmand of character, choosine the most delicate reputation for her daily dish; ascurrilous, low-voiced, many-worded past, crying her causeless malice in aceaseless dis- cordance und sustained in vituperation by her genius of viciousness, A morose monotony, lit here and there ‘With the faint semblance of a smile—born Of uncven flattery ; one who seoks. To mako good things seem bad by pretense, To make bad things seem good by pretense, A bloodless virtue, with himself for God ; A thing of maxims and of ready words That reach &l there is uf life—but self. Carlyle, whose grnlus was dyspepsia in its most voluble and declamatory form, Contempt of the world is the youth of in- telligence; sympathy with the world is the old age of intelligence. Shadow is the echo of humanity;the bas- tard of sum and substance. 1 have decided at_last to quit burglary and study inw. It is almost the only respectable way—as far as I know—by which a man can steal, The older one gots the more coffins he stumbles over in his path, Life is not a mystery. It is plain enough. That which succeeds it is a mystery, but one should live s0as to moet either 8 mystery or that which is plain, The toleration which necessity compels, Speaking of a father ruined by a profligate son: Ho was hanged upon the tree whicg he plunted. At the gate of the world there is alane lined with old men who bow pleasantly and smile cynical smiles as Youth, with its en- thusiasm, pluuges into the turmoil. And then they wait until the youth shall return, bowed and gray, to bea partof that same numan hedge. 1 met Mr. Longfellow just before his death. He was in the lwill&tht of his life. The plendid, calm, cool, dusk of his days was about his head—the shadow upon the silver, He wus great in the growth of night and just as geatle and just as true and just himself as he would have been if he had been born in Kentucky instead of in Maine, \Vht‘nf \vll(llds and rain send tinsel and gilt rau We l(vi‘l;'lhrough gaps and see the face of God, When Abraham Lincoln was the single star to be seen through the rags and tatters of the clouds in a troubled sky, The fierce words of & moment may Become the errors of an age. Men lose the perfume of our praise, But ne'er forget the stings of rage. The South is imperious and impulsive, but Aunerican. Its_ outburst was due to an epi- demic of coustitutional lawyers with the preachment of sophists and the practices of domagogues in fault. Out of this grew the error of the rebellion. It was & political eraticism—all passion and no judgment. At first the North was a miugling of panic and entbusiassm. Then it became a cool fighter, 1ts factory wheels began to turn and so did the tide of battle. The whirr of its machinery ‘was stronger than the roll of southern mus- ketry. The resolute w‘n(‘lltnbillly of its mills was greater than the resolute impracti- cabilivy of confederate charges. The North becamo a great **base of supplies,” and hun- gry men cannot fight against full granaries, A pris whited scpulcbre of stone—a cemetery in which lie, lhe corpses of past crimes. The readers of the Republican during the summer of last year, when Mr. Rothacker 'was engaged upon it, and who remember his caustio criticism in one of his “Drift” arti- cles of the leaders of the Irish movement and of the movement as well, know how thor- oughly he was disgusted with the whole bus. iness. He was the son 0f a revolutionist and e believed in revolution as a last resort, but he belioved that revolution meant fighting, talking—meant striking blows at the enemy at home instead of pevpetually passing the hat for contributions in another country, If Rothacker had gone to Ireland to live he would not have been theresix months be- fore he would have been sentenced for life to Van Diemen’s land or hunfi if the uprising which he surely would have stimu- lated did not ~ succeed. Some time before his death he planned to writo @ satire on the whole Irish business, milar to that caustic story of his, *“Ihe Au. tobiowruhy of an Anarchist and I find in his papers a great many notes of the points he intendod o make mninlilllo more than one finished chapter. The notes and suggestions T will give first: Show the gradual growth of an Irish pa. triot from enthusinsm and recklessness to |- gnso solfishuess and cunving. Is theie a change of nature with years! 1 presume there comes a time iu the life of ovory Irish patriot when he is at the forking of the roads and has to decide whether he will go to America and earn his living or stay in Ireland, 5" into parliament and have America send his living over to him. Iamaen [rish patriot, I was not born so, but Icaughton to the profession when I grew older. I was hungry and I couldu't soo anything else in sight. I shall never die pur r commit the indirect suici de of los- will power, but—isn't 1ta nuisancel v hung him. Kvery yoar we reward his noble patviotism, by collecting funds and passing resolutions, Ireland has bled almost eversince I can remember. Rather than have it break its record and not bleed,1 would bleed it myself, Ihave doneso. The Irish cause is the ouly cause that never had an effect, An Irishman alway's has o good heart when be is poor. He loses it when he becomes rich. (Dwell.) The peculiarity of the Irish character which makes a rich Irishman patronize a poor one, and hate one who is rich, Is this why all rich Irishmen associate with the shanty Irish—just to feel a pleasant superiority and enjoy the unbroken flow of flattery. Captain Moonlight behind the hedge and overhead. Did he die in vain! No. We raised £60,000 for a suffering patriot who needed the carlsbad waters for a mouth, while his mother took temporary advantage of hisabsence to starve, thus belping his en- emies You drop your fund in the slotand see how it works. It works you. I am an Irish patriot of American and lish parents, The one thing—the great link that binds me to the great line of Ivish patriots—is my desirr for funds. Can you ask any better proof my loyalty? PARNELL. P. S.—My mother does not need anything. f she did [ would take up a collection rather than have her suffer. John Mohn Mahoney, carried to his grave on Irish shoulders, but accused of dishonesty during his lifetime by Irish tongues. Stephens teaching school in Paris, poor and neglectod Send himon asecret mission and have him betrayed by those who sent hirm, The best way to free Ireland is to freeit from the Irish. I love Ireland by profession. Do I work! Yes, I work the Irish. Any Irish movement can be stopped, not by arms, but by the British civil list. Make a point in alternating chapters of the reatly earnest Irishmen. His success not entirely due to personal merit, but to the fortunate fact that his father was hanged. Envy of other agitators at this advantage, If there are two Trishmen in a conspiracy, one thing is sure, each’ will be breaking his neck in the rack to inform on the other, If England were suddenly to accedo to Ireland’s demands, whata number of patriots would be deprived of a livelihood and be com- pelled to seek other means of support! In this great case of rags vs royalty -this adjudication of peasant and princo—the fault lies in thatyou can never reach it by laws. Jus- tice can find its level, but cach man must find his own mountain and, when he finds it, he willfind it a very cold place, ——— SINGULARITIES. The raven has been taught to retrieve most creditably. A lady in Alton, Mo., gave birth to a round half dozen of children recently, four girls and two boys. “Mother and children doing well. It issaid thatin the northern lakes of England the foon has been taken forw foet under water upon hooks baited for a large trout, Twin girls were born in the retreat for the sick at Norfolk, Na, tho other day who weighed a pound and ‘@ pound and a half re- spectively. Rupert Hansborough, of the firm of Crow- ley, Hansborough & Co., loather dealers, of Chillicothe, O., is the possessor of a natural curiosity in thoshape of a cow which gives black milk, A monster grapevine at Athens, Ga., which covers more than & quarter of un acre, has been known to produce enough of grapes in & single year to make 100 gallons of wine, It Tt was planted by Prof. Rutherford thirty- two years ago. Two years or more considerable publicity has been given to and no little interest ox- cited by the discovery of red cotton and the efforts to perpetuate its growth, says the Bal- timore Manufacturers’ Record. ~According to the latest report the several attempts have been successful in the main. A planter in Alpharetta, Ga,, has an_acre of cotton, every stalk of which is said to be of adeep red color, leaf, boll and bloom. This novel crop is the' product of seed derived three years ago from two stalks of red cotton found'in a field of cotton. IF this varlety can be perpetuated it will likely mean a fortune to tho successful planter. An old Swedish woman, by name Marie Johnson, living in_the outskirts of Lapeer, Mich., gave birth recently to her first child after having been married thirty-eight years without offspring. The woman claims that shevis sixty dears old, and looks every day of that age. The physicians declare that the case has never had but two precedents in the annals of the profession. -2 D Edward Ferrers, an American resident of the village of Santa Magdalena, Mexico, re- oently dug ups trificd bee hive. The cells were perfoctly distinct and contained, smail, irregutar shaped bodies which must havo been bees, Many of them contained, besides, a thick black substance of about the consis- tency of tar, very hard to penetrate and very sweet and as infiamable as rosin, and which beyond o doubt was honey. The hive was found on the dry bed o what must have been a small creek emptying into the Rio del Norte. # The petrified body of Miss Ella Sewell was dugup in a cometery ut : anbury, Pa., the other day. Tho body was found to b well preserved. and but for the slightly sunken chocks and marble palior might bave been taken for that of & sleeping girl. 1Inlife Miss Sewell was a brunette. \When the boay was viewed the hair was snow white. A careful examination was made, sud it was found that petritication of the body had taken place. Even the flowers placed in the casket were petrified. Experts pronounce 1t & perfoct case of a petrified human body, and give as the cause the damp condition of the ground caused by the flood of June, 1880, Asingular phenomenon is described in a Scotch journal, A particular species of wil- low treo was in flower, and attached to these blossoms, which resembled an old-fash- ioned bottle-brush, were a large number of the “‘big black bumble bee,” with which ev- schoolboy is familiar. They remained a whole day sl‘llphl the extract of juice and then dropped helplessly to the ground, hard- 1y able to move, and the next morning were almost dead from exposure. One was ob- served to_climb avertical board of afew inches and_when near the top to throw out his legs and fall back after the manner of the ordinary inebriate, An omnibus driver one day found a little rat In the hay loft. As it was of a piebald color, he spared its life and took it home. 1n course of time it grew quite tame, and be- came a great friend of his children, At night, it used to lie on therug before tne fire, and when the fire went out it crept into its master’s bed, The driver taught it to obey, him, and at the word of order it would jump inty his top coat pocket, and stay with him all day. Ol‘caslomlllf' its owner placed it in the boot of the omnibus to watch his dinner, and if any ono dared touch the food, it would fly at him out of the straw like a fierce tiny terrier. When the rat had grown old and white, and had lost its teeth, it still remuined the family favorite, and was fed just as if it had been'a baby. The Hartwell (Ga.) Sun relates this curi- ous case of somnanbulism: “A little boy in Hartwell, aged twelve years, walks in his sleep frequently, In the front yard of his father’s house is a large rosebush, and when- ever he walks in his sleop ho gets up, takes a pillow and quilt or coverlet off the bed and carries them to the rosebush and spreads them down underneath that. A fow nights ago the writer was there, The little boy was lying on his bed usleep, but the family had not retived. When we were conversing the boy got up and pulled a coverlet and pillow off the bed. We were told to watch him, He ‘walked out of thedoor and straight to the resebush, where he deposited the pillow and coverlet. His mother called to him and told him to bring them back in the house. He obeyed, and lay down on the bed without umr l‘wlkln[. He has done this many times.’ e The chaplain for congress seems to pray hard euuuzh] but still he does no good ; uot so with Dr. Bull; his Cough Syrup has never f-l!iexl to cure the most stubborn cough or col No cure. no pay is the motto of Salvation Oll':ucuuw it cures every time. Frice 25 oeal —— THOUGHTS IN LIGHTER VEIN. A Few of the Many Funny Things the Wits Are Saying. NOT THAT KIND OF A CHICKEN. Johnny Was More Enterprising Than Generous—A Safo Inference—His Dreadful Fate—A Boy's Oom- position—Not Willing. Jewcler's Weekly: Wun Yan — How muchee smallee lawtch? Jeweler—Seventy-seven dollars. Wun Yam—Me no takee. Buy clock tlicees big two dollee, Dovwn to a Fine Point. Indianapolis Journal: Uncle Halcede—Say, is that there dwarf really as little as the pic- ture makes him out ? Sideshow Shouter—As little? Did you say little! W'y, old man, that dwarf uses a postage stamp in the placo of a porus plastor. Wondvrs of Science, New York Weekly: Lady—Do you take instantancous photographs! Photographer—Yes, madam: T can photo- graph a hummiug bird on the wing, or a swallow in its fight, Lady—I want my baby’s picture taken. Photographer—Yes, madim. Get the lit- tle fellow ready and 1'will prepare tho chloro- torm. A Do Chicago Her Apropos of stories, thero are some funny ones going - the rounds about awoman who is tho autoress of a most charming cook. She is very enthusiastic, and not long ago at a dinnet party said: Men in this country don't know how to love. If you waut tosce real love you must goto Russia; there a man says, ‘Bé mine or you will die " Spoken dramatically and with her eyes flashing, everybody looked im- mensely interested courtly old gentle- man rose up from his chair and bowing wost graciously, responded: %O, madam, how thankful we are that you came back to this country alive.” couragement for Jack, Jeweler's Weekly: Amy—I see that there isu female minister in Cincinuati. Now. would you call her a clergyman or a clerg, woman ! clergyman. There's no such " The word “man, you know s “wortan, " 100. Amy—Does it really, Jack! How nice! AMicted. Lally Spongee coms to_bo the mattaw with the b f me waweth.” Jew arpe—Yes, I'mglad you brought it back. D'l keep it till the balance is set- tied to my satisfaction. A Prize Roy. Smith Gray & Co's Monthly: Doliver.—T believe I have the most remarkable six-year -old boy in the countr, Brindle (gettmg weary).—Full of funny ways und smart sayings, 1 supnose Doliver.—Nota bit. That's what he's re- markable for. Indigestinle. Epoch: ‘“Take ‘& the heart thou gavest! “‘Why should I take it back " There was a hush of ex listeners leaned far out wings of eveni won't eat it.” It the butcher. Not That Kind of a Chic Judge: Cousin Nell (inculcating genor- osity)—Supposing your chicken should lay a nico egg, Tomniy, would you give it to mef Tommy -No; L'dsell itto Barnum. That chicken’s a rooster. A tafe Inferenoc, Puck: Friend of the Family—Somebody told me that your son Georse was now a rominent figure in politics out in Indiana. T hope he is sound on all the great moral isstes Paterfamilias—I think so. He has just been defeated for congress. ACongen:al Occupation. Moutnly: Mag—Are Chimmy-Soytenly; I'm workin’ fr w soot an’ clouk fact'ry, overin Williamsboyg. Mag—Wot doin’ ¢ Chimmy—Givin® jacket-nakers de sack, see! 3 His Droad ful Fate. Chicago Times: “A Texas jury has given a man a verdict for §40,000 for the loss of a leg," said Bulger “That's too much.” Not a bit of it,” said Bowser. (hey ought to have given him as m for the leg left to him will hereafter be useless,” “Why so?’ “Beciuse all(f h's ‘r'ends will spend the r time pulling it." A Shrewd Move, General Managér: A.—You see_that fine house?! The man who owns it made all his money as a cab-driver. B.—How dia he manage to do it? A.—Easy enough. He wade it a rule to know the exact minute when the train left in which his passenger was going, and reaching the station at the very last moment the pas- senger could notdispute with him, po matte: what he charged. Was Competent. Arkansaw Traveler: Ata recont examina- tion of a young maun who applicd for a certfi- cate admitting him to the active tield of edu- cation, the examiner asked : “Whatis a compound fraction?"? The man replied: “A compound fraction is a fraction of a fraction and partakes of the nature of the verb and adjective.”’ “That's a new way of auswering the ques- tlon," said the examiner, “but I reckon you are right.” The Poetry That Pays, Kate Field's Washington: Poet (opening his mail)—Great Scott ! The Squenchery has refused my noble poom, beginuing : Wild through tho lonely chambers of my soul-—- Poet's Wifo (opening her mail) —Never mind, my doar, here's $10 from the Wavmed- Overland for a trifio I sent it, beginning: You bet your boots, old pard, thet's sol Beginning Legislative Work. Pittsburg Chronicle: “You haven't taken your seat_in the legislature yot, have vou? asked a citizen of a newly-elccted mem ber. “No," replie¢ the representative; “the leg- islature hasu't met yet." “Then how comes it that you have iutro- duced a Bill already “Introduced a billl" “Yes. I heard yousay toa young Iady, ‘Miss Blank, allow me to introduce miy son, William.” A Boy's Composition, New York World: A man wich was the sheriff on a jail bis prisners kep’ a gittin out nites and steelin’ hens, cos the Llnil wasent strong enough to hold em inside. So the man he said, the man did: “He put astop to the litue game hartyrs!” aad he had a other cote o(“])nin! put on the jail. But the artist he had put some salt into the paint, and some cows came llnnr and licked the paint ol off, and then the prisners got out & cther time an stesled more hens, ‘en the sheriff he seen ‘what they had done he was so angry he sed: *“This aint no place for theefs, z«m bet, so you fellers has got to either bebave your- selves or lite out, and russle round for yor hash best way you can.” The Boy Got 1t Afterward, Dexter Gazette: A certain Dexterman {sn't uccess as a mouser, Furthermore, he has & young son who has shown himsel? shock- ngly deficient in the way of compassion for the suffering, The other morning a mouse crept cautiously from the of door of the cellarway, The man of the house grabbed a broom, carefully poised his weapon and launched a mighty blow at the ventursome rodent. As he struck his toe caught in a rug and away ho gaily went, head first, bump- thump-bang to the bottom of the cellar stairs. As he was trylng to remember whether it was last year or day before to morrow, he became consclous of & face peek- ngoverthe door sill, a face quizzled with a twist of demoniac glce. A pause, and then the shrill voloe of his youngest chirped, £t *im d-a-a-d bt The Young Mind. ‘aps Cod Item: A thunderstorm was pre- vailing; the sky was dark snd the rain fel) in big drops, The lightning was vivid and the thunder's decp-toned reverborntions were awe-inspiring. Little George, sitting near lis mother, was evidently afraid, but being amanly little fellow strove to conceal his fears, Suddenly & bright flash of lightning illumined the room, immediately followed b o heavy crash of thunder. George was vis(- bly disturbed. Turning to his mother he said: ‘“Mamma, I don‘t think God intends to kallus; I think hel is ouly trying to scare us," Friena, ' Forker, And shall I ne'er again behold the old famil- far form1 And urz\ur my friend -my staff and stay, my shelter in the storm/ Can Tnot _for one moment lay wy hand upon the head Of one that I have loved for years, jtat stayed when others flod § Noj best of frionds must part, though hearts be riven wide with griet, And sighing for the loved and lost will bring me 1o relief. Ibow my head to cruel fate, butaye I'll curse the fellah Who robbed me of my dearest friend —my faithrul old umbrella, Not Willing. Yankee I3lade, Says bould Burney Milligan Biddy McSnillig “Ouch, faith ! it's myself would be loikin' a es Biddy MeSnilligan, Ye'd betther be still agin : Oi'1l not. be endoorin’stch traten entas this,' Arrah! de Beaisy, X t's 0o use to be actin’ loike this. Ouch ! scrateh a man's nose off, An' tearall his clo'es off, [t's & deal uv a'row to be gittin' a kiss.” *4Go 'way, Mr. Bamey, No more of your blarne, Or instid uy a kiss ye'll be gittin' a kick. Ould red-headed Barue, Yer wastin’ your blarney, Fur—here comes the misses! Ach! Barnoy, be quick! Returns by Grapevine. ittsburg Dispatch: About? o’clock this morning Mary Aun hoarda noise in the lower partof the house and came down stairs to see what was the watter. She found the v of the house reading a papber upside vn and nervously tapping her foot on tho tioor. “\What are you doing, mum 1" aiting for the roturns, Mary." “For the returns, mum /" *Yes—very full returns, And sure énough he returned an hour later about as full as a man can get clection night. t Trouble. iid one Front girl to another ‘recently: “At ma’s iggestion the doctor called today and had a littlo tutk with me. Ma has been worrying me lately, you know. Well, the doc- id he had reason to suspect that there lething the matter wita my heary, ([ expressed 4 degree of wouder spouid find that he looked sur- and asked meif I'd knowa it before. I assured him that I had good reason to know of it, and when he asked me about the symp- toms I told him that T experiencea considera- ble fluttering and _quicker pulsation, espec- ially toward 8 o'clock In the evening. He didu't know what to tdake of that, so I told him that was the hour Chartey. He got upat. t g0, and somehow or other I fancied that he looked cheap as he took his departure, I o he was alittle disappointed because he wt the fust tp discover my heart trouble.” Lo Dr. Birney cures PLOSHRY s IMPIFTIES, The pulpit is mightidr than the stump. A biblical weapon—the axe of theapostles. There will be no theater nats nor plug hats in heaven. 1f the devil were nos aided by dyspepsia he could not do enough business to pay for keep- ing up fires. Some people sing in metre long, 0 Lord, Thy will be done!” But when 1t comes to doing it They're busy with number one. Cora—Wonder why the ‘re!lf' voung min- ister calls us the *‘lambs of his fold” Dora— On acconut of the sheep's eyes we re always casting at him, I presume, “The idea!” said the African mission indignantly. “What's the “matter(” iden of sending celluloid poker the heathen in an ivory country The boy with wisdom past his years w looks about with care tosee Which of the Sunday schools appents Most likely for & Christmas tree. Lawson—1I hear Mr. Soenso has discontin. ued bis liberal finaucial sid tothe Church of the Holy Fashionables, Dawson—Yes; be has entirely recovered from s dangerous lung trouble. His doctor sayshe will live for years, 0, how 1 love my teacher's face, O, how Ilove to pray ! 0, How 1 love this life of grace! O, how they’ll miss me from this place 2 €3 Just after Christmas day. Rev. Dr. Freshleigh—My dear Mr. Samp- son, what was the uame of that beautiful hymn you played just after my sermon lasi ubbath! Sampson (the organist)—O, itwas lled, “He Giveth His Beloved Sleep”'—er— nothing versonal, you kuow, doctor, Florence is u little girl who is just leaming 10 go to chureh, Last Sunday when she camo home her mothe d Lier what sho thought of the sermon. " was the irveverent answer; “me sitted an’ sitted an’ sitted, an’ got drefful tired, an’ the peacher said an’ suid an’ said an’ keeped on sayin®." “ havoto make tho announcoment this mornivg” said the ministor, “that our dear brother in Massai-land has ‘written me that the heathen aro so sparsely clothed there that he finds very littlo use for pearl buttons, and hie begs that the congrezation will rofrain from contributing them as generously as ding card)—Mary Ann ight. Methodist. Cor- roct. Spivit of Mrs. Swipes—Dear me, 1 teel so strange: Where do Isiti St. Peter —Third row to the left; right back of the Buaptist benches. Spivit—What! Does the Methodists sit behind the Baptists! (Firm- 1y.) I don’t wantto goin. “I hope,” said Mrs. Dingbat, as she bogan to put on her bonuct, “‘that you are notgoing fishing this - Sundi moruiug, William, but are coming to church with me,” [ am going to church, Sarab," réplied William, donning his overcoat, have bécome impressed with the belief that it isa man’sduty to attend service Sundwy morning, and to put aside the pleasures of the world for a time, It costs nothing aud doos one good. Besides that,"” he added to himself, “the tide isn't right for fishing till after diuner,” Ionce found a preacher to suit me; He was cloquent—sound us a rock; But the feature that tickled my fanoy Was the way ho roasted bis flock. Such & one was dishonest as blazes, Such and such, undeserving the name— Of course no addrosses were given, But I knew *em, you bet, just the same. Thad thought to unito on probation, But before I could bring it to pass, This ideal preacher got on to my trall, And sketched me in full as anass | —_———— Dr. Birn ey cures catarrh Bee bldg, — The Growth of London. One of the most singular facts about the growth of London is its regularity, It may be roughly taken that overy month about one thoasand houses aro added. In August of this yoear 705,577 houses had to be supplied by the water companies with water; in " Septembor that number had increased to 766,797, In August of last year 764,464 houses had to be supplied, or 11,118 below the number in the same month of year be- fore. In September this year the com- panies had to supply 10,708 houses more than in September of 188), This exten- sion is not confined to any one portion of the capital, but a preference is still be- ing shown for the north and northwest suburbs, THE FRUITS THAT WE EAT. The Trade of Today and Twenty Yoars Ago Oompared, A DECIDED INCREASE IS SHOWN. The Supply and Demand s Far Greater in Proportion Than the Increase inthe Country's Population. *Well, It 1s not only remarkable, but is really wonderful how the fruittrade of this country has grown in the twenty years last past, said un Omaha fruft dealer the other day,and that assertior, so garnestly made, interested Tk BEe man to the extont of an investigation. A gozen or more small dealers, aud a score or more perambulators, whose voices may be heard on almost every strect corner in the city singing praises to thesweetness of their wares, never fergetting to add the cheapuess in price, were visited and talked with about the fruit trade of today and of twenty years ago. Very many of the dealers in Omeha know nothing of the trade years ago, but oc- fonally a veteran is met, and theninforma- fon of an fnteresting nature is secured. To tailer, he had sold half as much fruit as some of the swall retail dealers of Omaha do Buta. Yomans wer] ‘Was fever done” UntGANA DO0AP eame toler ken, And no‘;v v Sheigthrug b before S the men. ™~ NKFAIRBANK & CO. onwnCiaussy, Chicsson one of these vetorans Tur Brr is indebted for [ much of the information guined. He is & wholesalor now; twenty years ago if, asa re- e ’ today he would have been classed s a whole- Graduate Dcntist ()f Years’ EXPCI'iCl]CC. saler anda monopolist. But he was thed onlya retiler, and he laughs now at the une trade he enjoy He was askod if PAXTON BLOOIL, OMABA, the trado had iucroased faster and propor- | Lhe Best Method for Painless Extraction of Teeth without A nesthetics tionately greater than had the population of the country and he answer “‘Well, here in west, where the grqwth in population been all but phenomenal from year to year,it issafeto say thattne fruit trade has increased thirty times faster than has the population, and in the last, where the growth of the country has been slower, the trade bas increased 500 per cent more than the population hus increased.’ Nuturaily enough the next question was suggested by his answer to the first, and he readily aseribed the marked ncrease in the fruit trade to the cheapuess of fruit and to cultivated palates of the people for, od, an appetite for a great many kinds of frruit, with a great wany peoplo is what we are pleased to term cultivated, A greatmany acquive a taste and uppetite for poars, peaches, nectarines, olives und the white ‘grapes from “nibbles” —just a bite now and then, thesameas other people learn to relish tomatoes or the muskmelon, and when once thatrelish is cultivated it~ becomes lasting, aud like the fruit trade itself constantly Brows The most of us have an idea that the ma- terial development of Low ifornia hada great deal to do with the development L OF OUR ) TRY 0¥ Thin Elastic Gold, Silver, Amalgam, Bone and other fillings at Lowest rates, d by crowning with Gold or Porcelain Crown e. Office open o venings until 8 o’clock . Roots and Broken Tecth save All material of the best quali A FULL SET OF ARTIFICIAL TEETH $ A PERFECT AT ON RUBBER FOR......... f B.OO GUARANTEED, 110 8L A 9ye[d UIYy, ¥ 13) 013Iv1d 1180 AHL of the fruit trade, and it has, but notto so great an extent as we imagine, The bulk of o~ fruit sold in Omaha does not come from Cali- fornia, though tons uvon tons and scores of carloads ave 1oceived from there each year, the bulk of the fruit comes from the ea: Take the year throughand the receipt of bavsuas in Omaha will uverage one car per ) bunches, which weigh abont twenty- d pounds, and most of the _eutire raceipts are retailed out on thestreots, though dealers received two ear loads per day for a poriod of two wecks, and the demand was equal tothe supply. Raspoerries and black- EXCLUSIVE AGENTS FOR WOOD'S our wholesale dealers send job lots as fareast as the Mississippi river, all over Nebraska and into South Dalota. e e I‘a e Ce OO S In strawberry time, this year, Omaha . We have a full line novww on hand comprising: berries are novsold in sueh quaniivies, but | PlOws, Chisels, Hooks, Markers, Bars,Run Iron, Snow Scrapers,Etc. Rope of all Kinds. would be, nodoub, if thesupply was equally as great, Butthe peach trado” is immense, and the scason lasted for many weeks, be- ginning with the Missouri crop and ending with Califoruia’s surplus. The_eranberry trade of Omiha tounding, Not less than 50,000 bar received last year, sold in_ the city and sent outinto counity towns, where the trade has increased proportionately as great as in the matropolitan cities, “I'wenty years ago,” said one dealer, T twenty-five cases of strawberries would glut "~ the market of such towns as Fremont, Norfolk, Kearney and Hastings but in this age a half dozen or more of their retail dealers will order twenty or thirty cases @ day during the season—and they sell them all It is safe to say that the fruit trade of the country increased 1000 per cent in twenty. years, and I mean by thut over and above the growth in population,” 1f watermelons and tomatoes may bo pro- petly clussed as fruit their sale and consump. tion in Omaha would very materidlly add 1o the volune of its fruit tmde, andto an extont far greater than those not posted on receipts would supposo. THE man that 142 carloads of watermelons wero re- | Sue® Ofie upon tons of tomatoes, a vegetable that is constantly growing into favor with the peo- Seven the, WRITE for CATALOGUE and PRICES James Morton & Son, 1511 Dodge Street, Omaha, Neb. NO CURRE! NO PAY. DrDOWNS 1816 Douglas Street, Omaha, Neb. teen yoars ox perience. A gogrentsst suicens Wi Norvous Chechic ant i dehi - 3 permatorrhn, 1ost Maniood, Sem nal W oskne was shown evidehce to prove the assertion A o8| MankooD) Saritudl et onsulistion free. Book (Mysteries of coived and sold in Omaha this year, And tons | o n. to . O oo BOOk My i uaran teo $500 (0 overy case entfroe. OMicohours—9 a.m. ¥ p. m. Sundays lar graduato in medicine, as cure mpo yphil 3 ndertake’ and foll on — — Blixclusive of the peddiers of grapes and bananas, thero are over five lundred repular fruit_ dealers in the city who enjoy a satisfactory 1f uot o flourishing trade. Beside tho salo of the frit men. 1207 Douglas Street. tioned these dealers sell 100,000 barrels of | Stove repairsof all descriptions for ook and heating stoves, tamily and hotel ranges. Water apples during the year. A wod muny spples Omaha's 140,000 people should eat a o1 of apples cuch during the year in ad- dition 1o the other fruit consumed. The orange and lemon trade, as wellas the Mainga grape trade, increases in fair propor- tion with the salo aud consumpton of other fruit; in fact there is not a fruit known to the market save the currant that is not grown ana sold to agreater extent each year, a fact which is not to the creait of the carrant certalnly. Attachments a specialty. > sure, but us onedealor put it “uot so as we should sell.” "Ho thought Telephone 9 O ROBERT UHLIG, Proprietor, C. M. EATON, Manager. FURNITURE COMPANY It 15 not S0 very long ago, loess than thirty | A magnificent display of everything useful and ornamental in the furuiture years, that very many of the provineial Towns of the east could boast of an exclusivo fuiit vendor, The trade was nearly all handled by the grocer, whose stoc maler’s art at reasonable prices. —_— and a mixed—or half-and-half—box of oranges HOW? By Using Felt Weather Strips. and lemons. To be sure his dried fruit trade was good, and his stock commensurate with it, but thefresh fruit in his store would hardly stock the hand wapon of one por [ The Best Strips Made. curbstone merchant of today. As tho fresh frunt, trade has multipliod tho dvied fruit trade has diminished and very many grocers allin that line. One grocer, who has boen fn the business for thirty vears, said that hisdried feuit trade 40 doz. French Rat Traps, just in, Direct from France. Get one, in towns like Omaha donothave mny tndeat | HIMEBAUGH & TAYL.0 R' 1408 Douglas St ‘OMAHA Was not now one-tenth of 1 per cont, what it . wis twenty years !}. 1 Am')lhur Sillf\] ;’h:\l he A \ 2 A did notremember of selling to one of his eity T R R L DY o) Medwa[ and MMU&I [mtltute » . year and tho country people aro grudually buying s of it and more canmed goods. “The dried frull i e v b it tor ttow sive b | WATCHES, DIAMONDS and FINE JEWELRY Sole Agent in Omaha for Gorham Man- ulacturing Co'’s we do for driea apples,” said another. “There ate but fow families in any city now but what eat fruit of some kind with their meals—morning, noon and night"—said another, “and those who do not aro those who are too poor to buy, but the time is com- ing when the poor can afford it.” Such a fruit eating people as we have grown to be, with such fruit producing soils and such fruit ripeniug climatos, will cor- tainly take advantage of soil and climate to 3 produce the fruits they love and_ relish so Br’ ln much, Andif the past is a fair criterion to judge the future by the market will never bo glutted, for the demand has always exceeded the supply, and the supply is increased each year. Sl #cience Overcomes Dealness. Comer 0th and Hirney Stroots, Omaha. AORAELTS - — FOR THE TREATMENT OF ALL Siluerware Chronic Diseases and Deformities, MANTLE CLOCKS, DR A. T. MoLAUGHLIN, President Just the medical world is engaged Foundedby Dr. J. W. McMenamy, in discussing tho now dovice for deatness | RICH CUT GLASS and | Fowdedry o sk called sound dise. No invention of late has attracted so much interest among sulted in the overthrow of many pet theories of there being no relief for a vast number of cases of deafness. This ingenious discovery was made by H. A Wales of Bridgeport, Connecticu, world, it can hardly fail to prove of great value to both the profession and the aflicted. st iy Dr, Birney cures catarrh, Bee bldg l.uu.a.: SPESSVE 7 S o WGt | i whire o CHINA. odi fession. Its perfection, . 4 . e e e ichod Thet, hoa se: | Our Stock of Fine Goods is the Largest and Our Prices the Come and see us, nd coming as it does with the approval Olsome. of the leading aurists of the | COr. Douglas & 15th St T lliuairaced bock Addus o il on ¥, HIBOOX. 84 Bresivag, N, iflo for Maysteria., D PBiite, Kndad " alting An DA, & 0 r\—m‘llum I““’ M , 3.5 sreui ot Of the : Each on 3 montk's i ¢ et by el il fii one ik e purians ATy a0 10 YEMNA Boney if Ty Crentment (aile o O arais Lo Lamund agid Gon e scid ALY by © GOODMAN DRUG CO,, U0 Furowm firesh + = Omaha Nemy | v it e Gl e WOV |