Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, December 22, 1889, Page 18

THE OMAHA DAILY NOTABLES AT THE CAPITAL. Prosident Harrison's Custom of Talking Walks. PIERCE AND THE POKER PLAYERS The Exccucive Office Developes More Formality as tue Nation Growse Older—The Weather Worried Cockrell, Reagan and Davis, Carp'a Washington Gossip. = (Covpyrighted 189 by Frank 6 penter.) WasniNetox, Dec. 10.—| \p"xml to Tne Bre.|--I saw President Harrison walking with n friend on Connccticut avenue last Sunday. He wora o plain black overcoat buttoned tightly around his rather rotund fortm, a pair of brown kia gloves, which fit- ted remarkably well, and a new and shining black silk tile. He chatted with his friend a8 ho walked and there was nothing about either his appearanco or the notice taken of him by thoe othor promenaders to show that he was president of the greatest republic on the face of the globs. President Harrison in his overy day habits is showing himself more democratic than any of his predeces- 8018 0f the paskdecade, Arthur wasseldom cots suve rriage or on aud all of the walking that Pre atry about ard of the white house. la walker while he was in congress, but he had no chance to get out during the few stormy days of his administration, and President Hayes took Lis _outings in a carriage. President Harrison’s grandfather was one of the most noted walkers of all the presidents. He did his own market- ing and got up and trotted out, often without an overcoat to protect his slender vld frame, to get his cliops and stewks for tho whito house breakfast. Of late years the etiquette of presidential life has rapidly The prosident pgrows r as uis offic grows older, and his fr s now wrapped around with red tape from big toe to crown Buchanan and Pierce often called upon their congrossional friends, and one day, an old stager of Washington tells me, he remeimn- bered Vierce coming into a room wh group of SENATORS PLAYING POKEIR. One of the senators bad lis coat off, r0se to put it on,whereupon President said “Don’t bother gentle your game, for I can with you. John Quincy Adams ook a walk of four miles beforo breakfast whilo be was president. Ho would get up at dayught, prance down the avenue. take a turn around the capitol and like as not a swim in the Po- tomac. He took these Potomac baths even in the coldest weather, and he was horrified one duy to see a colored vagrant running off with his clothes. Old Jotin Adams was another gr u Wi ton while he was pre his private secretary, Tobias L afterncon on the stréets of Philadelp) Eye-witnesses havo stated that these walks were v ober affairs, and that during them neither Washington nor his secretary spoke to each other. walker, sud Van Buren while he was president. General Grant was often seen on the streets during his term in the white house, and a ne oy one day not- ing his cigar was nearly smoked out, and not Knowing who he was, slepped up to him and said: ““Pledse Judge, give me the stump.” Presie dent Grant looked at the urchin with a smile and handea himo the remainder of his cigar after he had lit another from i poaking of pedestrians, Mr. Bancroft, the historian, Las stopped riding and taken to walking, Hetold me abouta rago that he could ride thirty miles without “tiriug, and bis tall, thin frame scems to be made of jron. He walks with a firs though his valet, & handsome, brown \his- skered blonde German always goes with him hie doos noi support him. Hancroft was a great friend of the emperor William of Ger- many, and it may be that he adopted the cap of the German army outof deference Lo him. He wears, at any rate, one of these caps with the well pulled down over his eyes, and he uuul about Washineton as chip- per as a boy. Ho has practically given up, hn\\'c\cr. nis literary work, and though he at writing and_ pretends to labor he is rnnll Qoing very little, Senator Henry B. Payne is another great walker. He walks from his house to the capitol and back every day. Tom Reed Illlhl“v walks out to congress, and McKinley Tom Bayno do likewise. I ofton sce Jusuva Hurland on the avenue, and I have scen hulf a dozen justices of the supreme court at one time in the same street car. JEx-Speaker Carlisle not infrequently holds on to tho strap of the herdics, and Ionce saw him rise aud give his seat to a colored girl. General Joe Johuson patronizes the street car, and Joo Cannon rides thus to the capitol every morning. [ aw Senator Ed- anunds in a herdic yester nd the presi- dent, while he was in the m.uu\‘.e, used to patronizo the street car. THE WEATHER WORRIED HIM. Some funuy conversations are heard in these Washington herdics. A lady friend of mine describes un incident which occurred yesterday in one of the red herdics going out to the capitol. Senator Cocicrell of Mis- souri, in au old slouch hat and au overcoat considerably worso for the wear, came in and plumped himself down on a sest near the door, while he handed a three and seven- tenth-cent ticket to his postman, who sat next to him, to put m the box. He then pegan to tulk to the postman, and said: *Ain't this awful weather! 1 never saw such warm days during December in my lLife, hero are half & dozen people sick in my and we'll all be sick if it don't get Vs just awful.” ‘The heraic went on a half-block and Gen- eral Palmer entered the herdic. He sald *‘How do you do, senator,” and shook hands with Mr. Cockrell as he sat down. Said Senator Cockrell: %0, I'm pretty well, but I don’t know whether I'll stay well 100g. Ain't this awful weather, I never saw such weather in De- wember before, People are sick all around me. We'llall be sick if it don’t get colder.” At_tho next corner another passenger got in. He was a rotund, straw-whishered wan With long hair and a big round head, pasted down to & pair of broad shoulders, Ho wore ®n overcoat that showed the same marks of age as thav of Mr, Cockrell’s, and he had on Bis head a drab sombrero with & rim a yard ‘wide, Outside of his wristbands a red flan- nel shire plainly showed, and he evidently had ared flannel dickey across his breust under lus coat. *How are you,’Coclkrell," he. “How axe you, George, said L‘wkrc \Ob," said Senator Georze, with & gusp, “I'm jull sweatin’l I've walked a miie and the water's runnin’ down me in streams, I ‘wonder if it would be wrong for a fellow to take off bis coat,” and with that he pulled off his overcoat and lmd it across his lap as he sat down opposite Senutor Cockrell. The two statesmen looked at each other and Sen- ator Cockrell said: “George. do you know I think this weather is jul awful. The peoble are sick all over town,” and here he leaned nearer to the sen- Ator And with o su gostion of fear in his tone continued, “‘and 800! e, we'll all be sick if it don't get colder, -Why, I gotup this morn- ing and put on a heavy coat and an overcoat, then I tried & light coat and o heavy over- coat, and I fin; put on & medium coat, and that's the coat l". goton now. Aln'tit awfull” Senator George said it was, and the con versation drmnd from the weather to the discussion of Chlef Justico Fuller's oration on Wuhlnxum. and trow that as to whether a8 botter for a bishop to be an mwuonz Iur and & polished man 1 lmlo:y leu alpqnonl and leu polished to be finu supject was under ‘when my lnond left the herdic. smflll 0f the weather reminds me of a remark Senator Edmunds made in regard to the weather bureau. i *[ under- stand how to read General Greely's signs. ‘When his tlags say fair wn\hur lllwl.vl earry my umbrella.” PATTI TAKES NO RISKS. One of the lwdln' ladies of Washington society came across from Eurone with Pat#l, and during the wyu- became quite wumate ‘with her. She that Patti will never slug uatil nuund of her money beforehand, that in most cases Nicoliui xoes out be- fTore the curiain is rung up and rings v the and he Pierce ien, and go on with stay a moment BEE SUNDAY,] DECEMBER 22 1539.--TWENTY PAGE certified check for §5,000 or the cash. Dur- ing ono of er engagements in America Nicolini came to the dressing room with n chock in his nand, and told Patti that the manager had been] ablo to raiss only $2,500, but that he would give her this amount anc would assure her that the remainder would be paid as soon as the performance wad over. Mme. Patti was sitting in her dressing room she had gotten down to the putting on of her slippers. She straightened up as Nicolini spoke and said coolly: “That will not do, Take the check back to the manager and tell him that Madam Patti 18 in her drossing room and that sho hus one shipper on, She will not put on the ther until she reccives the full amount of 000, and if thero is no money there will bo no song."” The audience was waiting, it was time for the curtain to rise, and 1t is need- leas to say Patti got. her movey. I understand that & Korean legation is one o! cants for th etary Allen of the the leading appli- position of American minister to Korea. ‘This mission 18 now neld by Mr. Hugh A, Dinsmore, a bright young lawyer of Arkansas, who was apponted at the in- staneo of ox-Attorney General Garland, He close friend of the king and is an able man. The Korean mini a yoar, and our minister to Kores furnished by the government, This country is one of the fow where we own our own quarters, aud the establishment consists of u number of onc-story housee, beautifully finished and fully a8 comfortablo as any houso 10 America. There is a very pleasant foreign colony. ‘Tho climate is good and the mission to Koren is as pleasant us any of the orn_miissions. Admiral Shufeldt, who negotiated the first treaty witn Korea, and whio s lived inthe country, tells me that ho would rather be ministor’ to KKoroa than minister to China, and the Korean minister is cortainly bewer treated by the kingand nobility. I hoar that considerablo troublo exists in Japan in regard to the revision of the tiea- ties, and that guards have been stationed about our legation there. The empire of Japan has been run entirely by the advanced thinkers of the country. Theso have been in favor of forcign innovation, and from them it hias been supposced that the whole Japauese people are iu favor of foreigners. It soems, howover, that a new movement has sprung up, and thet an anti-foreign feeling tias doveloped, which was expressed in some degree with troubles with Count Okuma, It is by no means cortamn that the Japanese people wisi foreigners to reside and do bus- iness in the interior of their country, though tho fact hns never gotten inio the newspapers it is an open secret in Tokio that our minister Mr. Bingham, who was a ereat friend of the Japanose, hud negotiated a treaty by which the Japanese were given ov- thing that they asked for in this regard, y was ready to bo sent out by the state department at Washington when anese minister here requested that 1t be held Minister Hubbard was ready to do tho same thing, and ne had a_treaty ready for necentance. Now Russia and some of the other Iuropean powers ure willing to do the same, and Japan herself objects. The Japanese ara very excitublo people. They sixty million copies of | ery year, and in casethis anti forelin Toeling shoald dovelop, it might bo- come decidedly dangerous for Americans in Japan, Ben Butler has not yet sold his big house opposite the capitol to the government, but ke gets a nice rent out of Uncle Sam all the same, and his mansion contains some of the most comfortable committee rooms of the lower house, 'This building is assessed at d it must cost him somewhere in borhood of $2,000 8 year in toxes. for u long @ mortgage of $30,000 on it, and this was given by Butler to raise money for his last presidential campaign,aud that his gubernatorial campaigus cost him 2100,000 apicce. He can aford, however, to speud money i politics, for he malkes, it is said. £100,000 a yoar at_law. and tukes nway o ull ‘every time he comes hero to practice before the supreme court, I suw Lim in ove of the depariments the other day. He is looking fat and healthy, and he bada | BOUQUET IN HIS BUTTON-HOLE us usual, Ho wore a big sombrero hat on his bald head, and the rim of this almost hid his cocked eye as he passed me, Ben Buuler is very eccentric as to his clothes. He comes out'in an ontirely new style of costume every time he con to Washington, and a winter or two ago he appeared here clad entirely in furs. A fur overcoat with the hair on the outside cov ered his fat frame from neck to feet, and ne had a great fur cap on his head. Ho looked more like an Esquimaux grandamothér thaa agreat constitutional lawyer, and be was for a duy the curiosity of the capital, Ben Butler is a good dresser. His clothes fit him, and notwithstanding the peculiarities of his frame, they are built in the best of shape. He is now seventy-one years old, but he looks as though he mxgm last for twenty years, and he is us strong physically and mentally as he was during the war. He works becatse he likes it, and he will prob- ably keep up his practice until he dies. 1 sat today in the pross gallery of the United States senate and watched a big- beaded. dark-faced, brown-haired man who sat in the middle of the democratic side of the chamber and pulled a string to and fro between his fingers while a series of expres- sions passed over his face. A number of newspaver clippings lay befora him on tte He had been reading these, and as he laid them down und took up his string I conld see that they related to the funeral of Jeffer- son Davis. He séewed much affected by them. He was re-rending them, und he had evidently re-read them a number of times since the ex-president of the confederacy died. As he sat and thought, his hands went faster and slower in the pulling of that piece of red tape from one side of the desk to the other, and now and then he would stop and fold the string carefully one fold on top of the other as he pondered. It wus S SENATOR REAGON, OF TEXAS, the greatest of the living ex-members of the confederato cabinet. He was thnking of how Davis appointed hun postmaster wen. eral when he was still in Texas, and his mind, I doubt not, was traveling through the stormy times at Richmond when he and Davis counseled together. 1 could see bim thinking of the last di of the confederacy when Kichmond was almost hemmed in, and when he with Mr, Davis made that hurried flight across the country. I watched him as the remembranceof their capture evidently passed through his mind, and thea as & frown appearcd on his dark open featur s, T thought he was living over again bis daysat Fory Warren. At this time Senator Reagan was more far sighted than any other mau in the south, wnd had his advice béen taken universa suffrage for the negro would have been post- poned for a number of years, At this tiwe Mr. Reagan wrote & letter to the governor of m. tate urging that the people accept the ults of wne war, protect the negro and |I|llu snch laws as would fit them for citizen- ship. He was willing that the negro be en- franchisod whenever he could read the con- stitution and had become a taxpayer, and he wrote that unless the south adopted such weasures the states would bo put under mil- itary rule and every negro would have the right to vote, Such advice was mighty un- popular in tho south at the close of the war. ul 0 found Secretary Soeward and others of Jonnson's cabinet 1o favor of his scheme aud he was assured that if Texas would lead in the movement and the other states would follow, that the government would hblp it on. He started south intend- ing to stump Texas in favor of his theorie: He found his popularity growing cooler as he went on. His friends at Richmond avoided the discussion of the pro- ject. He stayed two days at New Orleans, but no one mamlanen it o bhim, ‘The silence became more oppressive when he reached Texas, and the leuding ‘Lexan poli- tician told him that the people were down on him, and that every one who had office or wanted ofice in Texas was makiug it his especial duty to curse the ex-postmaster eneral of the confederacy and his letter. an saw there was no use in pusl hlflu matter aud he retired to his farm and went to plowing. It was ten years after the war, when his prophesies had all been ful- B outr polies. entar been one of the leadiug men of Texas from that day to this, He served in the house of representatives until his eloction to the nn- &t about three y 4go, aud pow, at Ul e, hie is as energetic lnd in the senate. elor AU 8LOWS 00 traces of his ill- ness of five years ugo, and his western trip, which he took during the past sumwmer, seems to have put new life iuto hiw, H complexion is clear, bis eyes are ts:l of life, and the thin bair on his big, round, cannon- ball bead has the same brown hue as when he was in congress before the war. Hels & bara worker, u fair speaker, aud @ man of wiore than ordinary comumon sense and abil | ity. He nover flies off on n tangent, and now that the war is over, ho believes that its dis- cussion should bo dropped in congress. He can talk very entertainingly about his caroer in the stormy days from 1361 to 1565, but he seldom does sn, When he does he never lacks listencrs, for he is full of good stories, and ho tells them woil. He has n great ad- miration for Jefferson Davis, and spoaks of him in high terms, One of the trophios of Senator Reagan's trip through the territories is an immense pair of antlers which hang in his_library on the wall to the right of his dosk. These antlors will meusure, I judge, fully five feet from the root of the horns to the tip enda of them, and the horns with their branches are 80 apread out that thoir tips mustbe fully as wido apart as their length. Senator Reagan is keeping house this winter in Washingten, T1is homo is on the corner of ‘Iwelfth and P stroets, just off the lowa circle, and facing a vory prety ereen reservation, This place i8 About two miles from the capitol and the sonator rides back and forth in the stroet cars, FRrANK G, CARPENTER. e TIME'S HINTS. Phitadelphia Times, The years have fled—a score or two and ton— When—life then than gol He asked of Time to class him mid the men Who hold it doubtful if they'r youn or old “Tho’ length sceming far more gilt He pleaded long and strong. of days Do keep the Past and Present far apart, 1 yet may claim to waik in whilom ways 3ecauso south's bloom still blossoms in my cart," Timo never spoke a word, but merely drew His bony finger o'er the speaker's hoad. Yot much was i the act. “You'ro right. 1v'a true Tam quite bald in spots,” he gently said. The grizzly monarch winked quite uncon- cerned, And from the pleader plucked alock away. He saw the hair, but could not blush, so burned, “Well, I confess it i a little gray." “Altho' I think——" Iternity’s grim cleric Hera with a touch his lips tosilence stilled. The notion hit. *Some aro the dentist's work, But I have many that need ne'er be filled.” He struck the speaker's back. while A tinge of rheumatism com Thon tapped his breast in ulte “My wind? It has been better, I suppos “Once in a and goos it Time pulled his forelock and inclined his head One moment ere they started down the hill. ““T'he vulgar always hint,’” the pleader said. “That’s past a doubt—and then he made his will. IMPIETIES, “Come over to our church and hear me preach this morning,” said the pastor: ‘it you don’t like the sermon you will the musi We are going to have some of the lovehes chants you ever listened to.”” **No, thanks, replied Mr. Badman, for it was ke, *I took somo in the grab-bag, the dsh-pond, the ring cnke, and the prize doll at your fair last week, and I haven’t a cent left for the con- tribution basket. Guess I'll stay out till my luck changes.” Pius IX. left a fortune of saveral million lire. It cortainly pays to be Pius. People who go at a fast gait in this world will never get. in at the gate St. Peter keeps. Stranger (in Clayvitle, Ky.)—What make o solemn here this morning? Resident—Stranger, u great _misfortune has befallen this commuuity, The church got afire last night and while everybody was standing around enjoyin’ the spectacle’ some miscreant set fire to Bill Nogg's saloon in the other end o' town, and before the fire department could b got out it burned cloan to the ground—whisky and ail! St. Peter (examining applicant for crown, harp and wings)—You say you attende church every Sunday! That's good. Appli- cant—Ah, thanks, I'm shuan! I contwibuted money to—ah—chawitable objects .often— und—ah igahwette habit, you know. St. That’s good. I think yowll pass, - t—And—ati—L_wns o menber of Noo Yalk's 400, St. Feter— What! Let lim drop. (Applicant drops.) Speaker Reed is said once to have attrib- uted to the blind chaplain, Milburn, the virtuo that he didn't bother God or detain the house, A young man in Minneapchis claims that he has been cured of consumption by the Chris- tian scientists, To disprove the truth of his assertion 1t will be necessary to establish an alibi for the consumption. The onus pro- bandi rests upon the scoffers. The Deacon—That man at_tho rear of the church just sent word that he'd like to con- tribute.” 1'he Pastor—Who is he? The Dea- con—Dilbacker, the button mauufacturer of Philadelphia— The Pastor—Shut the box. First Little Boy-~My pop’s a Methodist; what's yours! Second Little Boy—Maine is a theosophist. *Theosophist? What's that?'? “I don’t know.” “Why don’t you ask your pop?” *1did, but from the way he looked, © guess he doesn’t know, either.’” ‘To Sunday school, to Sunday school,” ‘The littls urchin sings. There's something in the season’s thrill ‘That seems to give him wings. Ho loven tho littlo cushioned pow, oo, loves he, Aud very much he loves the fruit Upon the X-mas tree. “Mamma,” said a little Chicago boy who was mourafully watching a drizzling rain the othoer day, *‘what's the reason wo have 80 much wet weather?” *God sends it to us my son, to water the thirsty carth,” was mamma's reply. *I guess God doesn’t know wo've gota garden hose,” rejoined the young hopeful in au injurea tone. “What is the result of Satan’s falli” “Men raise the devi.” By a vote of 22 to 18 the Presbytery of Cincionati condudml that “all iofants dying in infaney are suved,” Bless their dear lit- tlo hearts, how they must rejoice at this de- claration! But let them pause a moment and roflect upon thesolemn fact that a change of only three votes would have damaed them forever. One of Bishop Taylor's African mission- aries declares that while apparel does not make the man; the want of it renders the wearing ouly a stovepipe hat aud a Congo Free Statesmile, 1t is hard to preach to him withiout a feeling of self-consciousness,” The golden stair appears to be the only re- liable fire escape, e et WOULD WE RETURN? Robert Burns Wilson, Would we return If once the gates which alosed upon the Das Were opened wide for us, and if the dear Remembered pathway stretched before us clear To lcnd us back to youth's lost land av last Whon on life April shadows lightly cast, Recalled the old sweet days of childish fear With all their faded hopes, and broughv anear The far off streams with which our skies were glassed; Did these lost dre sad yearning But live once more aad waited our returning ‘Would we returni A The new phosphate company recently organized in Florida proposes to de- velop no less than thirteen thousand acres of phosphate lands. This is an industry which has been productive of a very large revenue in South Car olina for a long term of years. s which wake the soul's ——— Physicians prescribe Dr. J, H. Me- Lean’s Tar Wine Lung Balm; in it they find no trace of opium or morphia,while 1t8 officacy in curing all throat or lung diseases is wonderful, 5 usene BT A horse weighing 1,100 pounds, owned by a man in Dover, N, H., got hungry in the night, left hnis stall and climbed o long, steep and narrow pair of stairs into the hay loft, where he was found the next murnlug. adiel, 1S5S All the rage, Red Cross Cough Drops five cents per bux.lold everywhere, The Vatican is said to be preparing a wew catechism for universal use, THOUGATS 1N LIGHTER VEIN, Walfs Froni the World of Wit and Humor. HOW WE SETTLED THE MAJOR. The Abls Editor of the Arizona Kicker on His Muscle~School- masters Wero Fair Game— Tittllating Tid-Bits, Tottling an Old Grudge. Epoch: Wife—Don't forget to insert an advertisement about noor lost Fido. r not. (Exit.) in paper the following morning; *“Ten dollars reward. Lost last Monday, a_mensly, hare-lipped, cross-eyed old yellow pup, answering to the name of Fido. He has no tail, is wild with flocs, has a glass eye, and his whines would make a rhinocérous shud- der. Knows how to bite. Fifty dollars reward if roturned in a hoarse.” (Wife faints.) A Knock-Down Argument. New York Morcury: “Weel, John, how are you to-day?” said a Scoteh minister to one of his parishioners on meeting him on the road “Gey weel, sir; gey weel,” responded Jonn cautiously, “gin it wasna for the rheumatism in my richt leg.” “Ah, weel, John, be thankful, for there is no mistake you are gotting old like the rest of us, and old age, you know, doesn’t come alone “Auld age, sir,” returned Johun, “I won’er to hear ye! Auld age has naeth- ing to do wi't. - Here’s my ither leg jist as nn’ld,un‘ it’s quite soond and soople yetsd s The Last Straw. Arizona Kicker (Detroit Free Press): ,For the last six months Major Davis of this burgh has lost no opportunity of abusing us and boasting of what ho would do if we did not step softly. The reason for this conductlies in the fact that the Kicker notonly called him a horsethief, but._calied him a bigamst besides. Last Saturday the mejor, who has no more right to that titlo than a mule has to that. of ‘‘professor,” bor® rowed a shotgun and gave out that he had camped on our trail and meant to riddle our system with buckshot on sight. Word was brought to us, and although we were very busyat the time superintending our combined weekly newspaper, harness shop, grocery, bazar and gun store (all under one roof and the largest rotail establishment in Arizona), we lnid aside our work and went over to Snyder’s suloon in search of the major. We found him, and we gave him such a whipping as no man in the town ever got before. He lies a broken and stranded wreck on_ the shores of time, so to speak, and the doctor snys it will be six weeks before he will find mor trails or do any more camping. Ths Wifa's Mothor-in-Law. Boston Courigr: ‘**Yes,” said the voung wife toa friend who wi paying her a visit, “‘the men have always’ lots to say about their mother-in-law, but you never hear the wives complaining about their mother-| in-law."” That 1s true, my dear.’ ‘“The husband’s mother is often the cause of more trouble than the mother of the wife,” **Do you think s0?” “Lam sure of it. My mother-n-law causes me trouble enough.’ v I wasn't aware that she eyver 'She doesn’t, but she is a better coole than T am, and that's what causes the trouhle.” r (I)etrmt Free Press): eral versions of the incident that occurred in our office on Saturday night are flying around town and have been telegraphed all over the world, we deem it but right to give tho particulars as they occurred: We were seated in the editorial chair, writing a leader on the European situa- tion, when a rough character known around town as “Mike the Slayer” called in. As we never had a word with the man we suspected no evil. Asa matter of fact we reached for our sub- scription book, posing, of course, Nt e s s weekiy in America fora year. The Slayer then announced that he had come to slay us, not because we had ever done him harm, but_because the influence of the press was driving out the good old times and customs. We retrented towards the door of our harness department. He pursued us with a drawn knife, ‘We then felt it ourduty to draw our gun and let six streaks of daylight through his body, and as ho went down we stepped to the door and sent a boy for a coroner. It was a ciear case of self-defense, and the inquest was a mere formality, We lament the sad occurrence, but noone can blame us. ‘We paid his burial expenses, and in unut}mr column will be found his obitu- ary, written in our best vein and with- out regard to space. No other Arizona editor has ever done half as much, Stipped n Cog. Arizona Kicker (Detroit Free Pmssz: In company with the elite of this neighborhood we were invited to the abode of Judge Graham last Thursday evening, to witness the marriage of County Clerk Dan Scott to the beauti- ful Arabella Johuson, only daughter of the aristocratic widow Johnson, of Bay Horse Heights The widow had made aepread worthy of the days of Cleo- putra, and Dan had on a new suit sent Lv express from Omaha for the occasion, Everything passed off pleasantly until 8 o'clock, at which hour the bride was dhwo\ond 10 be missing, and investiga- tion s00n brought out the fact that she had gone dead back on Dan und skipped the tra-la, whatever that is, with a bold cowboy named French Jim, She ieft a message to the effect that she could uever, never love aman with a cataract in his left eye, and that meant Dan, There was a foast, but o wedding, and Daniel will huve to try again, tled the Case. Chicago Herald: During this histor- ical exodus of the colored people from Kansas great numbers of them settied Nebraska,.and in one community espe- cially the blacks gathered in large numbers. Onpe of the first moves they made was to. organize a church, and they selected for their pastor a Meétho- dist minister who had been a very suc- cessful exhorter for years at colored camp meetings. While he was preach- ing his first sermon one of the deacons opened a window near the pulpit. This invensed the preacher, QVI 1 de dea- kin please close dat window?” he said. *'De draught am too swift foh me hyah.” But the deacon refused to close it, Tnen the preacher left the pulpit and started to do it himself. The deacon met him and from words they came to The deacon pulled a razor, but mbatants were separated before oy further dumage was done. The deacon was arrested on complaint of the preacher, and the nextday they ap- peared in the local court room, each armed with a lawyer. After the preacher had told his story, the dea- con’s lawyer proceeded to cross-exam- ine. “Will you tell me, sir, how long you have been a preacher?’ he first asked. “Well, sah,” the dominie re- plied, “I'se beon a-exhortin’ some twen- ty veahs, but I'se beon a licentious preacher ‘on’y ‘bout foh years.” Tho shout which followed dismissed tho case. Detroit Free Press: Yeosterday after- noon while the rain was puring down a oitizen left the postoffice to encounter an acquaintance, who was also sheltered by an umbrella. '““ulnmg. isn't 142" queried the first. “Raining, fsn’t is?” ‘I'd like tosee you a moment,” the reply. “Come up stairs.” The two passed up, traversed the dark hall to its darkest corner, and then No. 2 turned on No. 1 with: “Do you take me for idiot?” ““Why, no, ot course not.” “Do you suppose I am carrying an umbrella around to keep the sun off at this time of year?’ “No.” “I'm am L not *'Of course. “Well, then, itrains. You know it rains. Kverybody in town knows it rains. Now' you go on and lot veople was an infernal careying it to keep the rain off, hn—hut — “That’s ull. You knows her business. your own affairs xmd let the weather alone, Good day N And he went clumping down stairs and left the other to follow at his leis- ure. % let it rain, She You just attend to t Interest Hi Ma 18 umng snnthk ins saying night? Chicago pa? him. *'Oh. that was it, eh? I thought he s sy ing something about the world’s air,’ a, what 1o you last Daughter—In the parlor, Why, he—he asked mo to marry ¢ of I, Vs got some now anice new brougham. o 11. my papa’s going to buy a new yacht.” “And my mamma’s got a lovely 10, new well my mamma's got a cook that has st red l\u) ‘weeks!” Followed the American Cusiom. Jewelers’ Weekly: Joweler (to Chi- nese la man)—Why, John, you’ll ruin that watch by allowing it to be in the suds. Laundryman Mo puttee hun in soak, allee sumee ’Melican man. - Trans Yonkers . Ten years ago, Jerolomon, Kre wed were you and I It 8 your The bloom is on the You twitter thus no longer, love, ‘I'he notes have taken wing, The rye is garncred, p'raps, and you Have helped the garnering. Yet still the bloom is present, dear, Tho' it no longer blows Whero erst it dia, upon the rye, 1t's settled in your nose. PEPPERMINT DROPS, Chinese ringlots are curly queuns, When it rains cats and dogs at sea look out for yawls and barks. Mauy a man makes a gond reputation on ‘what is not found out about him. Workimng for relations has many of the un- satisfactory conditions that attend eating soup with a fork. Wagner is to have a statue in Munich. 1t will probably be fastened to its pedestal by brass bands. The rapd spread of the influenza in Russia isn't altogethor ustonishwg. Russiuns us- ually have a koff. Smokeless powder may be a good thing with which to kill people, but the invention of un odorless 5-cent cigar would be the boss thing. Henry Jorden has recovered $11,500 from a New York street company,on whose road he lost three toes by the premature starting of acar. The roud found Jordan a costly man to travel, as he is worth, at this rate, nearly 820,000 per foot—just for toes alone, Every man ought to be as good as his word. Nothing 1s expected of those who nover have a good word for anybody. Poet—'"Have you read my latest effusion?” Candid Friend—*‘No, I have not. We are friends, and I don't want to do anything that 18 likely to lower my opiaion of you.” It takes more than a well starched shirt front to make a polishied gentleman. Itis vhe lie avilities, asset were, that make the successful assignor. Fathe Do you know that it pains me more than it does you to have to whip you! The Terror—No, pi l\ul. Taidn't know it, but now that you've told me I feel better. “You have a lovely view from your parlor window.” *Yes,” returned Mrs. Bina- ‘e are rather stuck on our parley “Put a sandwich in the slot and let your digestion worlk," is the fashion in which one citizen invited another to-lunch, Checks are much used in breuch of prom- 18¢ suits. ‘The performance of flying machines so far has been limited to flights of fanoy. o R Beware of frauds. Red Cross Cough Drops will cure your cold. C-— The cmncrur o! (,uruumv. sitting 1n his room one day, heard soundsof a violent tumuit in the nursery, and speedily made his way to the scene, says the Youth’s Companion. When he entered the room the crown prince and Prince Eitel drew themselves “up and saluted their father in the military fashion, as was their wont. **What is all this noise about?” the emperor asked. **A little dispute, sir,” replied the clder son, ‘and I thought [ would let my brother know who is crown prince here.” “Because T wanted to use the Latin Lexicon first, sire,” said the younger, “he slapped me. *I did sire,” said the elder lad, ‘‘for Eitel would not else hLlnem that my rights are first in this house.” “Good!” said his majosty, “I see what you mean and I think it will be as well in the same way to let you know what rights the emperor, your father, has in this house.” The emperor proceeded accordingly in a maunner to impress iwell on the mind and also on the body of the young crown prince. Discoveries More Valuable than Gold are SANTA ABIE, the California discovery for consumption and diseases of the throai, chest aud lungs,aud CALIFORNIA CAT-R- CURE the only guaranteed cure for catarrh, cold in the thd and kindred wmblulnw at 8L per package, or three re recommended and used by the lumllng physicians of the Pacific coast, Not secret compounds. Guaranteea by Good- man Drug Co. B Of late years the number of women entering the profession of painting and sculpture has enormously increased in France, Germany and Russia, Ll Arklow House, recently the property of Mr, Beresford Hope, is built ou the site of the old Tyburn gallows. pal L An Absolute Cuare. The ORIGINAL ABIETINE OINTMENT is only put up in lurge two-ounge tin boxes, wnd is an absolnte cure for old sores, burns, wounds, chapped hands and all skin arup- vions, Willpositively cure all kinds of plles. Ask for the ORIGINAL ABIETINE OINT- MENT. Seld by Goodman Drug commany a4 25 conts per box—by mail 30 cents. office room, are now better pre of teeth on rubber for let other yourself. infl you not to cor gas, ether or electricity. cation Open evenings until Cut this out, Filling o N 1 this papor work, and much more rapidly than heretofore. FIVE DOLLARS, gueranteed to be made as plates sent out of any dental office in this country. Teeth extracted WITHOUT PAIN at lowest rates. R BAIL ator on 10} SET OF TEETH ON RUBBER For Five Dollars. DR.R. W.BAILEY, Dentist, Paxton Block, 16th and Farnam Streets. We Are Here to Stay and having within the past two months largely increased our sared to turn out the bes ss ot We make a full set as wel Do not ne, but make us a cali and see for , and witltout using chlorofor m Rjemember the lo= Paxton Block. 10th and Farnam. Woofi"fi" Y, Dentist, WEGARRY a GOMPLETE STOCK, WRITE FOR CATAI _OGUE AND PRICES. JAMES MORTON & SON, Agents. Telephone 4317, Furniture A magnilicent display of everythir furniture maker’s art ETCHINGS ENGRAVIN o ARTIST SUPPLIE MOULDINGS, FRAMES, 1513 Douglas Street, EBAUGH Hardwar DEWEY & STONE, 1511 Dodge 8t. —— Company 19 useful and v»rnmm-nlul in the at reasonable pr LL, & ORGANS VI MUSIC, Omaha, Nebraska & TAYLOR. mycales A Large Ass ment of B0Y'S AND MEN'S TOOL CHESTS: A FULL LINE OF ICE TOOLS AT BOITOM PRICES. FRSEND FOR CATALOGUE. 1405 Douglas Sirest, - Omaha, ExposITION—— =UNIVERSELLE, PARIS, 1839, The Highest Possible Premium, THE ONLY « GRAND » PRIZE I FOR SEWING MACHINES, WAS AWARDED TO WHEELER & WILSON MF CO. ——AND THE— #CROSS OF THEW LEGION OF HONOR, WAS CONFERRED UPON NATHANIEL WHEELER, The President of the Company. WHEELER & WILSON MFG. CO. 185-187 Wabash Ave., Chicago. SOLD BY P. E. FLODMAN & Co. 220 N. 16th St,, Omaha, Neb. "MAX GEISLER. Tmporter of and Dealer n All Kinds of Birds, Fish and Raro Animals BIRD CAGES, FOUNTAIN AQUAR. IUMS, SHEL| ETC, IMPORTED BIRD SEED A SPECIALTY. 417 8. 16th St, OMAHA - - - B SPENCER OTIS. mnu\ln Dougias st Englnocr and Drafuman, Mechunical s, poch 0¥ s e or Spetiel Muchinery, {nts futnisho Rievaiors, Millts, woings, ind Blue OFFICE WORK A SPECIALTY. EPINKERT & (0. PRACTICAL FURRIERS 114 South (5th St., Next to P, 0. OMAHA, - NEB. Manuf acturers of Sealskin and Fur Garments. Bons, Muffs, Gloves, Caps, Robes, Mats, ete., always on hand. Ola Seal Garments redyed, refitted and relined. Plush Cloaks repaired. Highest prices paid for fur skins. Di. E. 0. West's NARVE AND BRAIN TREAT- MENT, & guarantood speoli or Aysteris, Dizal- ness, Convulsons, Fits, Nervois Neuralgh Heuduche, Nervous Prosteation caused b use of uléobol tobacco, Wukefulnes -nuu Bepresion, Sottening of tho Draun, ressliny fn {usanity and leading to misery, deeky and doath, Prematuro 0id Age, Burrenncas, Lost of Powor n either sox, Inyoluntary Losses and Sp 10 ok batnsd by ovarexBetian of tho brats. selts abuse or overindulgen one month's treatment for$5.00, sent by mall prevald on receipt of price. WE GUARANTEE SIX BOXES. To cure auy cuse. With ench arder recelved by us for six boxos, accompanied by £.00, we will e A rchaanF qur welitva puntasltes to rer fund the monny i€ the treatment does not effect & cure 0 rantees issued only by Goodmen Drug Co., Deugaists, Sole Agents, 1110 Faruam Btreet, Ohaha Nobraska.