Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, September 22, 1889, Page 10

THE OMAHA DAILY BEE: SUNDAY,, SEPTEMBER 22, 1880~-SIXTEEN A SULTAN'S RESTLESS SLEEP. Turkey's Luxuriant Ruler in Con- stant Fear of Assassination. IS A CROWN OF THORNS. HIS With Ten Millions a Year, Absolute Power and Hundreds of Beauti- fui Wives Abdul Hamid is Not Happy. Sorrows of a Sultan, (Copyrighted 183 by Frank . Carpenfer.) CoNSTANTINOPLE, Sept 1, 1880, —Special Correspondence :to Tue BEr]—On the B2d of next September Abdul-Hamid will be forty-seven years old. He has anem- pire nearly half the size cf the United States over which he is absolute ruler, and his word means life and death to more than thirty- three million people. He 1s the spiritual head of the grear Mohammedan relivion,and two hundred million lips speai his name in worship overy day. Multitudos in India, North Africa, China and South Europe look upon him as the nadow of (iod" and like the Turks of Asia Minor regard him as the representative of Mubomet. He has an in- ‘come of £10,000,000 a year. His treasury is filled with diamonds. His palices are num- bered by scores and e counts his Arab horses by the thousands. He has countless servanst to satisfy his every wish, and his harem, filled with the beauties of the Orient, 18 replenished each year with the fairest of the young femalo slaves of Georgia and Circassia. If physical comfort, sensual enjoyments and worldly power ard the chief ends of life this man, now 1n his prime, onght to be the happiest man 10 the world. He is on the coantrary ONE OF THE MOST MISERABLE, Every one of the roses of his life conceals a thorn, and in each of his palaces the skele- tons of fear hide in the closets, stand behind the marble columns of tho salons and poke their heads out at him through the perfumed steam of his luxurious Purkish buth. F Ing absolute control over millions of lives he exists in daily fear of the loss of his own, and ho tremblesas he speuds his nights and days inside his ereat palaces surrounded by his guards. Flo moves among his people only when he is forced to do so by the re- ligious observances which are iacumbent upon him as the head of Mohammedan re- ligion, and his only outing ison Friday after- noon when he goes in state to worship at the mosque. This ceremony is one of the grand sights ~ of Constantinople. The people would rise in insurrection if the sultan omitted it, and it takes seven thousand troops tu guard him on his way from his palace to the vlace of wor- shiv. The favorits mosque of the sultan 1s that of Hamidiea. It was built by him and it 8 a beautiful structure of white marble with great minarets rising hundreas of fect above ks airy dome and looking out ovor the B ghorue, Stamboul and the sea of Marnior: Jt is near the sultan’s great palace, called Yildiz, and it is in the English quarter of Constantinople, known as Pera. A wide, winding road leads from the palace to the mosque, and at the side of this a house has been built by the sultan for distinguished foreign guests. This house is just opposite the mosque and its windows command a fine view of it and the roads leading to it. Armed with the card of the American minister and accompanied by my Mohammedan guide I was roceived by the officer in chavge when I calld at this louse yes- terday. 1 was given a seat at one of the windows and for two hours preceding the ceremony 1 was interested 1n the mass- ingot the soldiers and in the preparation for THE COMING OF THE SULTAN. First came a little army of carts drawn by donkeys and led by bare-legged men 1n tur- bans. These carts were filled with soft low sand, and this eand was spread over the road to the depth of several mches. The sultan’s royal bones are too holy to be jolted over cobble stones or macadamn, and when- ever he goes out todrive the r over which he intends to march is covered with sana. s came waler wagons and the sand was sprinkled to make it softer and firmer. As time goes on the soldiers mas up division after division and rauk thew selves along the highway. There are regi ments of cavalry on the finest of Arabian toeds, each regiment having horses of the same color, and nearly every regiment uni- formed differently. Here is a troop of Circassians with black caps six inches high, upon the crown of which are white crosses. They are dressed in Buropean uniforms and upon their breasts are rows of cartridges. Below them are cav- alry from Asiu Minor, and coming down the hillin the distance are troops after troops of bronze-faced fine (ooking men io turbans and caps on the finest of Arabian horses. The soldiers are tall, broad-shouldered and straight, Down another road march long lines of infantry, some in the green colors of Mahomet and others in clothes of blue trimmed with red. Asthe hour for the com- §ng of the Sultan approaches, the roads turn into RIVERS OF COLOK, and along the side of thew, back of the sol- iers, are secn the curious characters of a Mohammedan crow There at the right is a patch of white, and you note that the hun- dred balloon-liks bags of white cotton or silk, which scem t stand upright on the' ground are alive, aud taking our glass you seco that out of each ag near the Lop peeps two black eyes and you know that these are the ladies of sev- eral Mohammedan harews, who have come out to get u v'ew of the sultan, Now come the officers of the court. They drive up in carriages drawn by magnificent horses. Some of them come on horseback, and the Dreasts of allare covered with medals,ewhile their clothes of Kuropean cut fairly blaze with gold lace. Kach man wears a bright fez cap, whnich looks like a gigantic red tumbler inverted, and these caps crown the heads of the soldiers as well, making the whole crowa look like o great human flower bed of red. There is a cheer from 10,000 throats and the music is heard 1n the distanc he ery £00s up that the sultan is coming. and now around the corner preceded by a gorgeously dressed guard upon horseback, surrounded by officers, with swords drawn, comes » low bnruuLhu driven by the most maguificent black horses you have ever been, These are driven by & coachman whose body is resplendent in a red velyet suit ewbroidered in gold. He has a fez cap on his head and as he holds the reius lfhs nis gold sleeves hang down 'iko those the ladies’ fushionable dressof some years #go. The carringe is black but its trimmings aro gold. The lamps at the sides are gold, and the horses aro resplendent in gold buckles and trimmings, In the carriage it- solf three persons are seated. Ou the front seat 1 note a fine, gray-whiskered 0ld man, It is Osman Pasha, the hero of Plevoa, and beside lam is u younger man, a favorite of the suitan. Ou the back seat sits the sultun himself, He 1s more simply dressed than any one of the 10,000 people surrounding him, and bis clothes are the morning suit of a ge tloman, the coat cut high at the neck like um of an l-rmopu clergyman when out of gulp\l_ 1is coat is edged with red cord 0 wears the same kind of a boiled shirt jou do. His head fez cap which and helow of ' large, liquid dark eyes through a face which is of the Ilm- w hue, and which has the same features as that of Jay Gould. Jay Gould’s face is the TWIN OF THE BULTAN'S, The two men have the same nose and the same nervous-worn fegtures. Tho sultan is verhaps a trifle taller than Goul d I + Would judge that he wm’nud peghaps twenty nds wore. He s, { judeo,” about tive 4 nine inclies high, and “he weighs about one hundred and fifty pounds. His face is lvbulornl old Jersoy eream, aud his eyes Dlack and restiess. '11o has a high, -mw forebead, a long thin fuce, a nose Mnluhlu inclined 1o the Roman, and he ot of short, luxurisnt, glossy, w vhmon His bunds are long and and he bas the 1ok of u wan who lies and turn-cver collar that is covered with u awake at might. He doés not look like a happy man, and his eyes wondered here and there as he rode slowly over the sanded way to the gates of the rmosque, As he passed the house of entertainment he looked up and raised his hand to his fez cap in sal- utation, He then drove on to tho mosque ;mrl‘tolnk up & private stairway was soon hid from view. As he entered the gate the soldiers all turned around in order that their faces might be towards him, and when in the course of an half hour he appeared again they resumed their old position. The Sultan seldom goes to the mosque twice in the same way. Yesterday a mag- nificent riding horse was 1ad behind the car- riage and shortly aftor his majesty arrived o low carriage drawn by a pair of milk white ponies was driven up to the front of the mosque. The servants of the sultan had not been told as to how he proposed to go home- ward and these three different equipm ota were present in_order that he might rid horseback, drive his ponies, or go back ln his barouche AS ITE SAW PIT, He proferred the ponies and 1 had a eood chance to see him as he drove back up the hiil with the ribbons in his hands. Behind him came several carriages containing iadies of his harem, and 1 noted that a dozen beg- wars followed these and that the ladies within them throw out handfuls of coin to them, over which they fought as it fell upon the sanded road. I have seen the snltan several times dur- ing my stay in Counstantinople. I saw him twice at the mosque and I saw him when he made his annual procession across the Golden Horn to Stamboul to kiss the mantle of Mahomet, which is praserved n the old Seraglio. I have met some of the most noted of his oMciats and have had numerovs con- versations with men twho have been con- nected with his palace for years. The sultan likes to wall his d only the barest details of his vrivate life are known to the general public. Within the gates of his great palace only his intimate friends and his most trusted servants come, and [ awm told that he has such A FEAR OF ASSASSINATION that he has men continually on guard, both about his person, at his doors and about his watch towers. The palaces of Yildiz are all built upon hills. Their grounds contam many acres and they cousist of ravines, through which flow babbling brooks, of for- ests and lakes, of parks and of gardens. They rise almost straight up from the be- ginning of the Bosphorous and the thirty or forty palaces which his majosty owns hero all command views of the surrounding countr: withstanding this elevated position tan still fears plottings and assassinations. He trusts few peoplo implicitly, and he se dom goes to bed at night. He sits up until 1 o'clook, amusing himself as best he can, and then throws himself into a cushisned chair and dozes on till daybreak, when he retires to his bed to sleep, He has those about him 10 whom he thinks he can confide, but the fate of mis predecessors warns himito beware, During the thirteen years of his reign he has had several revolutions, and he was frightened almost to death when the czar of Russia was assassinated. He has a number of other palaces outside of this one in which he lives, but he seldom occupies them for more than a few hours at atime, Oue of his largest palaces is that of Dolma Bagtche, which seems to rest on the waters of the Bosphorus and which is a great airy structure of stone and stu painted 80 it looks like marble. It is su rounded by beautiful eardens and pa and is gorgeously furnished with rich pets, crystul chandeliers and with all the beautiful things that money can purchase, This palace was that in which Saltan Abdul Azziz lived, and the upper part of it was de- to his harem. When it is remembered that this man spent nearly $3.000,000 A YEAR on this ‘part of his household alone, some iden of the grandeur of the farniture can be conceived. In one year Abdul Azziz Spect $600,000 for pictures, and there wus nothing too costly for his palace. I went through this palace by means of a special permit of the suitan, and I saw great crystal posts as big around as tue body of a man, and more than six feet tall, on the top of which were immense candelabra, the prismatic crystals of which sparkled_like the diamonds of Sin- bad, the sailor, under the rays of the lizht, 1 passed through room after room finished i gold and wallod with satin. I entered the most luxurious of bath roows ana spent some time in the grand audience hall where the sultan holds his receptions at Bairam or tho Mohummedan Easter. 1 walied upon the court in front of the palace, along the beautiful waters of the Bosbhorus, and 1o d at the yacht of the sultan which, up, stands unused 1n front of and as I did so I re- story which one of tho sultan’s ofiicials told me as to why his majesty never occupied this grand building over night. It is, said the officil, because of a warning wh h the last t«uILun gave him. This suitan woke up one morning 1 find the gua boats, which he had bmlt to guard him- self, turned against bim, and he advised Abdul Hamid never to ‘occupy a palace which could be as easily stormed as this one. “The sultan of Turkey 1s VERY FOND OF HORS He has about two thousand in bis stables, and these have been brougit here from all parts of the world. His finest horses are of Arabian blood, and you will find nowhere 1u the world such horses as are seen upon the stroets hero 1n Constantinople, The street car horses have the finely arched neck characteristic of the Arabian, and in every troop of cavalry there are huudreds of horses which would bring the highest of prices in America. It is agaivst the law of “Turkey to export Arabian borses, and when Senator Palmer wanted a for his breeding farm to get the permit of buy them. Tho sultan him rider, and he is ested in horse training and breeding. His stables cover many and there is a groat training pla with them where his majesty comes and watches the oxul with steam the msell to If 18w good much inter- sometimes ing of his horses. He prefers the Arabian horses for riding horses, and his favorite wount is a beautiful bay. His rides are taken 1 the parks whica surround his palace, and which are of a great extent. His friends often ride with tm, and General Low Wallace and he often rode toge her. He sometimes hunts upon horse back, and T am told that he is a gooa shot. He once told General Wallaco that he had broken half a dozen vuses with o revolver while gallopiig pust them on horso- back, and ho often hunts deer and duck in his parks, The Sultan is thoroughly posted on all matters relating to horses. Ho keeps track of the military affairs and_is posted on all new inventions in arms. . Not iong ago there was sent to him from America st of the Meybridge photog consisting of instan- taneous pictures of the in action. The American minister and the men of our lega- tion looked at these pictures, but did nov sce much utility in them. The momont the sultan saw them he graspea st the advantage they would be to horse training, and he explained to the minister what they meant. He nflerwards offered Mr, Straus a preseat of o couplo of fine Arab horses but the mnister explained that he did not think 1t would be right for him to accept prosents #nd he declined the gift. He gave prosents to General Grant and to several other Americans and ho has made some pres- ents 10 Abram 8. Hewitt, He is VERY FOND OF RMERICA, and I am told that he is very anxious to have Awerican capital brought ‘into the deveiop ment of his country. When Vauderbilt vis- ited Uonstantinopls ho gave him an aualence and proposed to him the investment of some of his willions in Turkey. Mr. Vanderbilt explained bo bad other uses for his money just at that time and it was the same with Blanford. Senator Staunford, uowever, told the Sultan he would be glad to build rail- roads in Turkey if ue were a youuger and poorer man, and that he would ask nothing better than the chances which the Turkish empire offered for American money making. It will be seen from this that the sultan is intercvatod in the development of his country. He would, I doubt not, make an able rulerif bis people and his creditors would let him. ‘Through the extravagances, hewever, of tho sultans of the past Turkey is loaded down with debt und the empire is practically bank- rupt. The foreign bo udholders rogulate the collection of the taxes and foreign officers sit at the seat of customs ‘The sultan never soes the tribute which Egypt vays to him yearly, and bis every act is tempered by for- 2ign infiuence., Suryounded us ho 18 hadoss the best he can, hoping against hope, and he is much more of & ruler in fact than is gen- erally sunposed, He does s areat deal of work. He l00ks over a great part of his correspondence and dictales matters to his various oficials. He has the velo power on all things relating to s people, and he uow and then takes matters into his own h and countermands the acts of his grand vizier. He has the absolute appointmeat of all the officers in the empire, but he has to trim his sails very carefally for fear he will get the fanatical party of Turkey down upon him. The grand vizier is his premier and he has his cabinet of advisers as has the presi- dent at Washington. He reads the Turkish newspapors and hus mon who translate such articles from the foreign papers as bear upon Turkey. He wants to know everything that is said about his country, whether it is good or bad, and he was latoly very much inter- ested in an article on his kingaom published in the Now York newspapers. Ho gives his people ample chance to brine their griev- ances before him and every time he goes to prayer PETITIONS ARE PRESENTED T0 HIN, They are held out by the petitioners and one of his nid-de-camp takes them and his majesty looks over them when he returns to his palace. Such as merit inquiry are inves- tigated and their wrongs are righted. The most interesting thing in connection with the sultan, however, is his life inside the royal palace. The stories of his harem, of how his wives are chosen and of the ups and downs of married life in Tarkey will al- ways be new to the people of the christian world, and of these I will treat in my next letter. FraxNg G. CARPENTER, —— n Tl‘ll Me? Wryitten for The Bee, Can you tell mo why this should bo, In every land, on every sea, Why sun shotld always shine for some, And shadows over others come? Can you tell me! Can you tell me why honest toil Should be defrauded of the spoil; Why poverty, and grief and gall Should be so great, and sweetness-small) Can you tell me! Can you tell me why buds unmade Should blossom, and then droop and faae; Why little chilaren, pure and fros, Should sinful men and womon bel you tell me! Can you tell me why woman's lov 1s so ill-cast, and man’s is not; Why she, the weakor of the pii Must still the greater burdon bear? Can vou tell moj Can you tell mo when all is done, The curtain dropped at 8ot of sun, Why man of man speaks words of praise™ When he needs not the wasted lays? Can you tell mo! JOUN G TEMPLE, Denver, Sef Lol 2 A MONSTER GOLD BRICK, The Largest Bar in the World Turned Out at Helenn, The largest gold bar ever castin the world was turned out at the United States mint here last night, says a Helenaspecial. The bullion came from the Spotted Horse, Drum Lummon and Jay Gould mines, and the work was done under the supervision of Superin- tendent Braiden. The largest crucible would hardly hold the enormouscharge, and with the hottest furnaces it took a long time to melt the precious metal. Sixteen men were engaged in the task, and, after eight hours’ work, the mass was finally successfully poured into the large mold specially prepared. It took all night to cool, and even at 10 this morning the great brick was still warm. In shape the brick isa section of a pyramid, the base being 18x74 i height 7% inches,and top inches. Its umghv, is 6,945 ounces, or about five hundred pounds avoirdupois. Its value is a trifle over $100,000. The bar is to be the center piece of & min- eral monument, which will be placed on exhibition at Minneapolis and New York. The display will consist of four bars of lead for the base of the monu- ment, four bars of copper for the second course, four bars of sil- ver for the third, on top of the whole to rest the $100,000 gold bur, and the monument will be sur- rounded by specimens of quartz and ore from all parts of Montana. -—— The Coal Suppii-s of the World, In view of the question which has ed itsclf on more than one sto how long it would be be- fore the old world conl deposits would become exhausted, the Deutsche Han- Luzeum supplies some interesting s relating ta the world’s coal outside of the North Ame n continent, Acn'md\ng t0 these, the low and, Denmark, Ger- 3 .uul Bohemia, poss surface area of thousand square miles. has 22,000 square miles, Russiaalone The deposits of the island of Formosaamount to some- thing like 10,000 square miles, some of the coal veins ran feet in “thickn ging up to ninety-six The coal fields of Austrin, Spain, Portugal, Italy, fo and Persia cover thir thousand square riy-1 miles, those of India 85,000 and those of Japan 6,000 square miles, while those of China are estimated at the enormous iigure of 400,000 square miles. But these are not all. The Falkland islands, Patagonia and Peru. are very rich in coul, while the southern part of Chili is one immense deposit. In Brazil veins inyg in thickness from séventeen to twenty-five feet are found in numbers, and in the Unit States of Columbia an abunaance of the mineral. uver islands are also well supplied. thove being proba- bly not far from 20,000 square miles, while the deposits thus far discovered in Tasmania, New Caledonia and Natal are estimated to cover 100,000 square miles, the larger number of these deposits not yot_having been worked. Without reckoning the immense stores of coal in the United States, and merely relying upon those given above, thero seems to be but little prospect of a coal famine for some years. Coughs and colds come uninvited, but you can quickly get rid of these with a. few doses of Dr. J. H. McLean’s Tar Wine Lung Balm. Kazor, Morphine and Revolver, A razor, morphine and a revolver were the means adopted by William K, Lento, of Seville, Putnam county, to kill himsclf to-day, says a Sanford (I"la.) special. He first cut an artery in his arm, then drank u vial of morphine and finally shot himself in the head. Financial dificulties are supposed to have been the cause of this, as he had ruo through his own money, and rumo has it also of his mother’s fortune, His father was Dr. Frederick R. Lente, a well-known New York physician. At his death, in 1884, young Lente organ- ized a company to start a town south of here. He was also interested in rail- vonds and was well known throughout the state. Applied to the Wrong Place. The following result is significunt as to the result of the prohibitory laws: WATERLOO, Douglas Co., Neb, Willow Springs Distilling Co..Omaha, Neb.: You will please send mo # catalogue of your “temperance drink,” Have you any **Peach Cider” and “*Bee Beo?" Ifuot, please recommend us to some one who does keep it. Yours truly, W. A, ROGERS, Query: What has the disullery to do with témperance drinks? Moral: " Buy “Kennedy's East India Bitters. ! e One Hind Buiton Gone, Out of 246 men passing along Main street in Cincionati on a recent afte noou, 210 had lost ove or more of the hind buttous off their coats, SAVINGS OF TRE FUNNY MAN Some Waifs from the World of Wit - and Htmor. HOW HE GOT 'HIS EXERCISE, PO This Sprinter Aad a Baby—A Heart less Girl's Revenge ~ A Big Draw—Jokes from Over the Ocean., [ SEE. A Very Definite Answer. Tegliche Rundschau: The examiners of military candidates for the rank of ensign attach a certain value to smart- ness in the replies given by the stu- dents, Not long ago s teacher of geogra- phy asked a candidate the startling question: "I[(»w wide do The reply came without a moment’s hesitation: ‘“‘As wide as the Thames near Pams,” is the Seine near Lon- Great Curlosities. Exchange: The spur of a moment. The horns of a dilemma. A nick of time. A bone of contention. Parliamentary whips, A mun of straw, A man of truth, The thread of stories, A ship of state. A fly on a wheel. A bee in a bonnet. The Suint of a joke. The dark horse. A political warming pan. A circle in which men argue. The historicsword and pen. The silver tongue ot an orator, The features of a plucked candidate. The Kxact Locality Judge: Two of the seediest-looking tramps that you could possibly meet in along day’s” drive were brought up in the police court. ““Where do you live?” asked the magistrate. ““Nowhere,” roplied one of the vaga- bonds. SAnd you?” ‘Me? Oh, I room on the floor above my pal.” ‘What Would Happen. Merchant Traveler: *Humph,” said Brown to Jones, ‘“that’s a nice way that fellow Diogenes of whom I was just reading spends his time.” *Do you refer to his pr. ing ((n an honest man?" ctice of hunt- n Diogenes were to try any such thing as that in New York to-day he'd get run in by a bunko steerer be- fore he’d beeh out two hour: In U ion There Is Strongth. Puck: Teacher—Now, children, you haveseen how strong a bundle of sticks is and how weak each stick is by itsel! This experiment illustrates the motto, “In union theve is strength.” Now, who can give me another illustration, one that relates to the American na- tion? Patsy O'Hooligan (son of an alder- man)—Oi kin. The Amerikyns divides thcirscl\'cs inter republicans, an’ demo- crats, an’ muhxbmnnms an’ mug- wumps, an’ all sorts o’ things, phile the h sticks together an gn,s all the A Modern Epitaph, Avistine Anderson. We bury his Fauntleroy coliar, His Fauntleroy suit and sash; While our tears flow swift and steady For our beautiful dream so rash. Wo thought the sweet lord so lovely, And that Tommy would look and say, “Dearest,” just like the darlng; But he wasn’t built that way. A Sad l'vl‘d‘l.':ll_llf‘lll Le Figaro: “Well, Marquis De Cali- naux, have you had a pleasant jour- sill the whole of the time; I cannot bear trz\\'nliug by rail with my back to the engine.” ““You ought to have changed vlaces with one of the other passengers.” “Impossible. T was all alone. Goud Boston Budget: F another race booked. you taking the regulation exercise spins 1o get yoursolf in condition,while I have met your opponent religiously prepar- ing himself for the encountc Famous Sprinter—Oh, I take my ex- ercise at night, end—Where and how? mous Sprinter—At home. The baby gives me all the exercise I nced, and more t0o. The Chicago Man Got There. Washington Post: A St. Louis man and a citizen of Chicago were discuss- ing the location of the world’s fair in front of the Ibbitt house last enening. “Idon’t see why St. Louis should want the fair, anyway,” said the Chi- cago man; ‘‘she already has one of the most important features of a fair.” “To what do you refer?” asked the St. TLouis man, deeming this some sort of a compliment. I refer to the price that is charged for admission to the town.” And everybody present who had paid the St. Louis bri fave smiled audi- bly. Why He Became a Bachelor. New York Mercury: A young lawyer, o had been instructed that when a witness declared thathe was this or that, it was essential that he should be made to tell when and for what reason he be- came 80, thus utihzed' his instructions when trying his first ease with a wit- ness that lm had under cross-examina- tion: “Ave you a married man?’ he asked. “No, sir; I am a, bachelor,” was the answer, Thea, siv,” said the young lawyer,in a stern toue, “will you please tell this court how long yot have been a bache- lor, and what were the circumstances that induced you tp bacome one?” Making Rapid Progress. Time: Tucker—I saw your son in the country to-day, Parker. Hehad his camera with hun 1 believe. Parker—Yes; he went out to take some views, I suppose. Was he making good progress? Tucker—You bet he was, and dust, too, Somebody’s red bull was after him. o A Zoalous Fu Freisiunige Zeituu road was about Lo be made in a par- or ish in the Bohmerwald, The surveyor came, took his observations and, with considerabie care and exertion, staked out the rond. Wheu this part of the work had been done he went to the mayor of the parish and said: *‘I must ask you to see that the poles are not stolen over Sunda, On Monday morning the surveyor came back. Sure enough the stakes had gone. The mayor had locked them up for safety in the town hall. An Absent-Minded Profossor. Blumenlese: Professor C—— had gone to sy{rnd the evening at a friend’s house. When he was about to leave, it was raining cats and dogs, whereforo the hostess kindly offered him accom- modation for the night, which he read- ily acceptod. Suddenly the guest dis- appeared, nobody knowing what had become of him, and the qnm(ly were about to retire for the might, when Professor C---— walked in, as wet as a drowned rat! He had been home to fetch his night shirt! Hidrous Revenge. London Tid-Bits: A well known citi- zon, who is something of a performer upon the piano, recently passedan even- ing at the house of a young lady. The company was agreesble, and he stayed somewhat late. As he rose to take his departure, the young lady said: “Pray, don't go yet, Mr. H—— I want you to play something for me.” *Oh, vou must excuse me to-night. Tt is very late, and I should disturb the nci ghbor: ever mind the neighbors,” an- swered the young lml\‘. ([lll( klyy “they poisoned our duu yest rday.” On the Free List No Longer. Chicago Tribune: Citizen—*‘Hello, Jakel Still in the fruit buflme\s, are you? Those peaches look-——" Jake menacingly)-—-*‘Keep your dirty hands off’n them peaches. 1t you want any, you buy ‘em. You're not a p’lice- man now.” A Big Draw. Calendario Toledm'!o. hyw sad you lool “I have a hurnbl., toothache.” *Do you come from the dentist’s? ‘*Yes; he has just drawn four—— “Hour molars “*No, four shillings ‘‘Dear me, ) Astonishment Ovdércamns Him, Judge: Tn Washington: Stranger— “I would like to see General Greely.” Weather bureau n[!lcml“'(x‘unm‘nl Greely can’t be seen, siv. Heo's sick.” Stranger— ‘Nothing serious. I hope.” ‘Wenther bureau official—*‘Yes sir, but itis. His prediction for yester came true. Her Littie Game, Drake’s Magazine: Mrs. Gall (in dry goods store)—"1 wi ish, if vnu please, that you'd give me samples of six or seven different patterns in surah silks, aud a few samples of colored velvet; a friend of minc would like them; and I'd like a sample of this green Indin silk. 1 want a dress of some kind and— a sumple of this figured silk, too, pleas and one of this pink satin. Thanks. T'll decide soon about the dress. Mrs. Gail (outside the store)—*‘One, two. three, five, eight, eleven, fifteen— nineteen perfc |1_\- love! amples in alll Six or seven more as large as these will make a whole block for my new v quilt, 1'il go around to Ribbon & Linnen’s and get them before I go home. Ar Wo desire to state in the most explicit manner that no re- bate will be allowed to any one of our subscribers who mauy be obliged to leave town for the benefit of the community, or who may be hanged and buried for the same reuson. In several iate in- stances friends of such subscribers have called on us and asked us to cash up for the unexpired term, but we have invariably refused. Subscriptions to the Kicker run for one year. We con- tract to deliver the paper for that time. f the subscriber is arrested, driven off, or hanged, it is no fauit of o Please bear this in mind and save yourselves trouble. The Best Qus London Exchange: A good many years ago a farmer not far from Dun- blano had a son whom he was anxious to have trained for a lawyer. He went to Dunblane one day to st je Mr. B., with whom he was ve e, to know if ion of AllL that gentleman would t clerk. The following conve Well your son ? Johun—*"Weel, I a clever boy. a guid scholar, and gran’ in the upt: Mr. B.—**Are those all the qualifica- tions he has. Johu*” “Na, he has anither: the fiend himsel” couldna’ haud the candle till him for leein!” Mr. B.— nim in.” Tohn, what qualifica- end him in, John, send Saved a L Time: Solomon Isaacson—*Ha! you hoard the news, Shacob, dot I haf safed dhoso lifes onf Iteuben Cohen dhis morning alvetty? “Nein, mine friendt, how w dot?” “He foll off de doctz und couldn’t ~mhwlln. jou schumped in und helluped ud 'Ach, du licber! Tschreams, ‘come oud und I pays you dot $10 1 owe you’, und he eclimbs dot water oud like a doock,” 2 o Tat « Shoo. Puck: Miss Chif—Would yoa be- lieve Old Mr. Grump, who is it’ thought 80 reserved, told mo last night that he was a believer in first impres- sions. Miss Keenan—Why, he's a deaier in etehing: don’t you know A Moneymaking Scheme Life: Tawker—How can you afford to send your famiiy to Saraloga when you told me ouly last month that you were broke? Cawker—Oh, now. 1 have the-slot-and -usce out-of-order-comp: 'm in a new businesa tarted a drop-a-nickel-in- in - the-machine-is- B Didn't C 1o Work Overtime, Birmingham Post: Chief (to indus- Lriu\m clerk in government office)—Why didn’t you dot the in the last word of your report last night? Tndustrious Clerk—! beg your pardon; but you see the clock struck 4 just at that point, and I didn’t care to work overtime, St II|~ Cho m Mason in l fe. “Where do you think,” said she, s Worlds' fair mn.'lll to bes" drew her w0 his side, sing her, replied, 'm satistled, my dear, To Lold the fair right here —— A Republic’s Gratitude, Republics are not always ungrateful. President Kruger, whose valor against the English founded the Transvaal re- wanted 35,000 the oth r s operation, and the parliament lent it 1o him at 24 per cent mnstead of the legal South Atrican rate of 10 per ceut. ~—— the United States. are altogether about 17,000 Arabs in this country, and not 10 per 1t of them bave a settled home or any other meuns of support than ped- dling. e For ladies.the pest and purest tonic is Angostura Bitters, 1t effectually cures dyspepsia, aud tones up the system. Dr. J. C. B. Biegert & Sous, M'frs, At druggists. There DR. R. W. BAILEY, DENTIST. The original purchaser in Omaha of the formula for Dr. Stinaus' Loon Angsthetic for the PAINLESS EXTRACTION OF TEETH. The ONLY METHOD whereby teoth are extracted without pain or danger, and without using hlorof orm, gas, sther or electricity. The patient remains perfoctly conscious of all that transe spires, but feels no sensation of pain, No soreness of the gums after extracting, as fs the cass with 8o many so-called anmsthetios. Many who have been suffering from badly decay: Bailey and had them removed painlessiy. After having used this anwsthetic for two months for nearly evory tooth axtracted in this office, the FIRST PERSON 18 to be found that is not entirely satisfied with its merits. Some dentists may try to prejudice you ngatust visiting us: do not allow them to do so. you A od and broken tecth and roots, have visited De Make us call whothee , alwways p or a1l who may choose 1o como. 10 FILLING. teoth, thoreby preserving thelr usefulioss many yoars. ETH THAT CAN BE SAVED. e DO NOT LOS TEETH WITHOUT PLATEHS, Bridge Work, Gold and Poroelaln faced Crowns, GOLD, ALUMINUM, SILVER, CONTINUOUS GUM and RUB- BER PLATES at lowest rates. A Full Set of Teeth on Rubber for $5.00. DO NOT FORGET THE LOCATION, DR. BAILEY, DENTIST, Paxton Block, 16th and Farnam Streets. (Entrance on 16th Street.) Cut this out, mentioning this paper. Brownell Hall BOARDING AND DAY SCHOOL, Corner of Tenth and Worthington Streets, Omaha, Neb. The Rev. Robert Dokerty, §. T. D., Reotor. Fall Term Begins Wednesday, September 11. Apply to'the Rector. Particulars NEW COAL MERCHANTS A. B. MEYER & CoO,, Dealers in Best Grades of oal ® Coke . 15:h 8t., Opposite Postoffice, Storage Yards, Cor. Jones & 5th Sts. Telephone 1490, We solicit a trial order from you. i Kiiow \»hul)nu 'wro kitting ‘when ¥ i DN LTy 1 BeACrons Tk 1! A Cximination ot You from purchnaiog & 5 i o *Reminkton holds tho Wl ullumlm cd. 1007 Farnam Stree DEWEY & STDNE Furniture Company A magnificent display of eve!‘ytlnnq useful and ornamental in the tfurniture maker’s art at reasonable prices. JAMES MORTON & SON, BUILDERS IHARDWAIARK, Cutlery, Mechanics’ Tools, Telephnne 437 Dns door west of Postoffica, 1511 Dodge st. ‘HOSPE ETCHINGS ENGRAVINGS, ARTIST SUPPLIE MOULDINGS, & ORGANS, 2] W HALLET & G KIMBALL, 1 PRAMES, & SHBIT MUSIC, 18138 Douglas Street, Omaha, Nebraska. GAFNESHOE fiwflj‘“ ,SE.U-CT NETBTHE EYE Fo FINISH Tl material must e of the Jtaest texture, and when anthe fool he SHOE must gmtme Leauty /m:d@rgfzt ovf&flo! YHEN PURG Health is Wealth! \AT WhicH 18 leohol or tobac Do, Roftning of ihe hra insanivy and leading to misery, decay and death, p] nuess, Loss of Power Lopses and Spermat. rion of thie briin,kelt: box coniaing , rostilting in mature Old Age, Hur in eitlier sex, Involunts orrha caused by ot e one month's treatment Tor #0,00,sent by mall prepald on WE GUARANTER 81X BOXES 2+ S0LD BY THE e~ (&4 \BEST TRADE THROUCHOUT THE o8 UNITED STATES, To cure any case. s pArantas 1108 atment doss not eff oo by (ooaman s, 1110 Farnam NOSANIS T ¥ | Side Spring Attachment; no Horse Mot fon. MANUFAOTURER. ! First Class Carriages on hand, built to ord Promptly E i 1409-1411 Dodge St., Umahl. Neb. TANSY P I.I.S! Wileox baeciSe Qoo Fhllna - ST i o the At from that town we -m gt e, T 5 i Daarbta o Laisgt b