Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, February 5, 1888, Page 11

the pleasure of “Danny’" or "Ooor‘e“ old Bigbee, but not proudly. *“‘He | me for asking such .a question, MM IN THE FUNNY MAN'S DOMAIN é CLEVER BUSINESS WOMAN. | o i o™ “chnerey f et or “Jim," as the name of ¢ ! g lingers down town till 2 ¢'clock in the | the life of me [ ean't make out whose down on his luck temporarily, and picks THE INVITED PUG B A"“Bl_"fl"'}\“‘ has been caught by & morning, and he lingers in bed L | beau he ie** “Well, to tell the truth, wp o dime in the conventional Bowery | might happen to be, to a5 o'clock tea | hunterof Paris, Ma ‘ . e noon, and he lingers at the table long | neitker can T Charley 15 o little Yirs. Frank Leslie's Energy and ’ As Lentered u young woman at- | upon a Wednesday afternoon. hmlummm\:\'l luu§ miles fll':""‘{x" The Maid Across the Way—The | after cverybody else has gone away | fickle, and he is like most men, who, B ois tived cheaply but showily, stood with a The pugs began to arrive, each one in :.’m':f-"' T Wik o loaded down with stest Walk Didn't Grow. foundered, and there is going to be u [ children of a large growth, esteem nterprise. lmhtm\.-u her shoulder, aimed at the | its own coach of course, and attended | it S0TE Ry 5 ‘ reform in this linguist business, or | What they have not rather than what i Redalt . < guist business, or — st conspicuous bull's e while | by its mistress; shortly after 4 o'clock, A man in Avoni, Penn. has just cut a squash : ) which weighed 140 pounds. 1t was one of a present. It must be said that the ladies | family of thirteen, all of wh I've an idea: T guess Tl let s of 1w case of folo-de-se in this | they ha AT ALK yound wan Mise Smith, and then he'll wring of & young man out | him ma you'll hes family by DR. HAMMOND'S PECULIARITIES' Chinrley was’explaining. to. her. tho fa nearly &' 0core and by 5 there science of marksmanship, including the THE BLOATED BUMBLE BEE ! \ h grew on asin: WIth b Hekore wrad.” and . thes old man | always think the world of me.," — position of the fect. Besides the young | concernied in the affair enjoyed the | gle vine, and the smallest of which. weighed Jooked :vesolute, ' then melted into Bkt Cornelius Vanderbilt—A Stage | woman stood aslender young man of i thing thoroughly, There was a con- | H7 pound: The Organ Grinder—An Easy DIvorce { g)iontfulness and said that was the Intuition, Not Conscicnee, Struck Beauty — The Art of offensive mein and colorless compl tinunl chatter as they passed from one Sfiney Smith, of Swartzwood, N. J., got —A Poor Offer— Fate—The Boss first Greek he had used in thicty years Burdette Did you never think," v ion. He looked dismaliy on while she | pug to another and inspected its mona- | up in his slecp ana walked three miles " e o Lk e dhu stormcand | neked the chapluin,’ “did there nover Dancing — A New Whim — shot wide of the mark, and fo ry | igram stroked its ears and said cunning | throngh the suow barefooted, When found Linguist—Out of Order- He e e s o e hottles | come to you a conviction, in yowr sinful Clara Belle's Letter. failure vriticized the gun or her ii- to the haughty little animal. | he was still asieep, but budly frozen, the Made a Report. studied the old musters on _the bottles | e Tog' fohbory, that you wore doi ks structor, for fully five minutes, She waro doubtloss not o few joalous ‘";’L‘,“l‘]'.':::"[(:‘“fil‘:“l‘"'v‘v‘;‘f;"’:“v g o aid Lt s e wrong?* “Offen, thore did boss by, X S | was sure she could do better if ailowed | heart-burnings either on account of the RO § oy R I y ate. plied the burglie—half-pay. retired, NEWSYOUR, Feb. 1.—{Correspondence | fh iS00t way, Finally the pair | evident superiority of some one dog | hiule to ectw gunto kill wiack rabbit which The Maid Across the Way. The beauteous night fell o'er us like a mist, | Smany a time it has fashed on me when of the BEk.]—Perhaps [ shall get Mrs- | oftand Charley gave way to his feel- | over another ¢ LHAAALRL R GRBGRIL A ELA L B L From the Earth, Through which I saw the glory of her Buf such feelings were | heavy charge at #t he found that the rabbitt carefully concealed and everything | was already frozen to death. moved with that se; rinity and animation A dog was seen in Akron, O., coasting on a which together mark the doings of all | sled with a party of young people, and he highly cultivated people. As for the | seemed to enjoy the sport fully as much as dogs, there was a good deal of snarling | the rest: Herode both down the hill aud up, and such confusion that heforé the af- | and attracted much attention. L faiv was over, the ladies bad each to L'lhh‘lk‘nnlnand William Purnell, of Snow take her own dog and hold him in he ci LBl Ll Wi s 1was in the nursory, where the first Unspoken pain within their sombro dopths, | fitsh of a bull's-eye would waken halt & Like stormy seas sleeping ‘neath stormy | d0zen howling Kids, when Tought to be e, in the old man’s bed-ronm a-skinin® his By stars unkissed trousers and goin' through the ward- I saw the clustered brightness of her hair, robe and bureau drawers regular. Oh, A red-gold halo round her wearied face, ves, I've often felt as T was doin’ wrong. Where one could read, in dreamy lips and { But” apologetically— that was when I eyes, veen hand at the business, don't you Frank Leslie assassinated’ but neve ings. Said he: mind. It may be noted, by the way,| “That makes me very tived. She that she is now a trademark—simply | Wants "’\"(i-?.".."&'fl}'-'-i-“"i'..'.‘?.».‘m Frank Leslie, without preface, acco) 9 | yut she'll neyer tearn if she Yespm on ingto her legalized sgnature. This | (i way, " There's plonty more just cleverest of New York business women 0. discussed to me some points of her re- A Wild West shooter?" “There is a maid ucross the street, In form and face extremely neat, With raven locks und tiny feet; 1 sce her every day. Aud yet she coldly looks on me, ‘And cares not for my misc A cold and haughty maid 1s she, The maid across the way. No smile upon her face appears eves “ya ¢ . 4 | ¢ three albinos. Two of the birds were No ¢ vo my sad heattclicets, That'sorrow's hand had left ita blighting n! cent so?ourn in Europe with a jreedom ).,. f\uu know that gume | lupto prevent canine misunderstand- kmfl, ‘One waa pure white snd the other ;Sufi.‘:f:‘?’\:f|£'.’.l|‘.<-.| ‘I‘.:‘r;:):“‘iz!.l:‘u"s‘ AURDESO WA HASUARRA SIS ghting | L ow. | which might shock many of her sisters, | J6t7 Why,nearly ull these women who | ings taking place upon the parlor foor. | had u single brown feather on its back. And for affection pray. forever there. PEPPERMINT DROPS. Al gh 3 2, figure ns” Texus Jennie, or Wyoming | Te rved at 5 o'clock in the r An Orlanda, Fla., newspaper man has sub- ¥ PER No light of love creeps in her eyes; T've nover seen her laugh or ¢ Though often I may pass her by, The maid across the way. Her hair is like the raven's wing, Bhe met there all sorts of people, unde Liz, or some such name, hail from New all sorts of circumstances. She hap- | York or Chicago. Why, I've taughta pened 4o mention the fact that she was | dozen of them myself—but it's hard brought in contact with a number of work, for they always want to talk more I pleaded of my love, but all invain; She only gazed into the dim afar, To effoctu A hunted look within her dusky eyes, work Fixed on the swift, bright falling of a star, | ~ No weather has appeared yet able to freese In silent pain. | a brass band. room, the pugs maintaining | stituted a pair of sand hill cranes for watch rplaces in the laps of their mis- | dogs, and he tinds that their loud, clear note tresses who sipped tea from china cups | of warning when a tramp or a burglar comes and nibbled cake and confec “,m.r, near is an effective means of protection Iy punish an Indian put him to .| than half the time. Howeve laced the napkins beside the A strange freak of nature was noticed re- She cannot play, or dance, or sing,? “Tell me," T oried, while lowly at her feet, ckward waiter o " [ women who devote their 1 o LR turned out several who ean cutouta !)"m 'n":‘rmmn‘\ IP 1:‘]:‘«, Ignml w un cently in Gainesville, Fla. An orange tree But in her nose she wears a ring, T told the h‘ll;muu" my throbbing heart : dufin‘-‘\-“\‘v‘i‘r‘l‘\‘;lul"l:‘u';‘,“‘ SRty 9 struggle for woman suffrage in England, | bicture with o pistcl, or split ncard | it was over, tho respective | J¥ith dead and decayed limbs, from which the Aud is dressed in raiment guy. “What s this cloud that o'er your young life | “N IS I a0 conts a day and i 11 usked her how, this tribe of fe- | with a rifle, They've all New Yorke Naa, Bttt § . \ leaves had fallen months ago, suddenly put Yet she is wooden to the core, leans ! T i weo | LA LG Y 3 ARl hm_;‘\ re all New Yorkers, | maids of the mistresses and =~ pPugs | forth new leaves and a full set of blossom ‘This Indian maid that stands before Ry Lo s it males compare with their sisters | Yes, it pay: well to teach them.” s that young man who was Can 1 of its deep anguish bear no part, came in with warm coats and elegant | i Dayton (Ore.) Chronicle says. that a o busish sweel The door of the tobacco store wraps, and tucked up the ugly creatures | potrified man has been discovered by a far- An expensive piece of sculpture of any \ in the United States. Her reply “Who i That's just across the way. She spoke fio word to me, but drew her hood | IOUSC 18 the bust” of a water plpe. | A MUTiTR o her beloved | here just nows™ s0 that they should not by any possibil- [ mer in lonely gulch nine miles from that 5 3 B 4 s i Is thero any cure for snoring! asks an_in- | is not caleulated to muke her beloved | BEIEI R sy husband. He's n [ ity sulfer from tho chilly air of the win- | place. The man was leaning against o small The Walk Didn't Grow. A My Tace from oft or rod ol hait, | urier. Vea! marry a wouan with o temper. among America’s strong-minded daugh- | glapic {n a big dry goods store uptown.™ | tér evening. The maids saw the dogs | bIuft of rock, and upon examination was | Mr. Bean and Miss Allibone were A The proprietor of & new Florida hotel s | ters. Said she: “They ure quite as Pistol and rifle shooting, by the way, | home while the mistresses tarried for found to be completely turned to stone. walking in Green's pasture last Sunday Across the gray and dusky dark to where | named Cut. But his rates are unot name- i earnest and indomitable and five away | continue to be a fad among the solid further chatting, and altogether they A man in Milton, Ga., owns a mule which | and sat down on a mossy bank. N A white horse stood ! sakes, : e hk g at ve! 9 ' s, ore e e o pe will not pull a wagon even when beaten with *Isn his moss beautiful? snid 188 —_— may take a thief to cateh a thief, bu he 5 regular women | swells of the metropolis, and more than | agreed that the occasion. had been an 1l not pull Len beat th “Tsn't th beautiful d M 1t take a thief to catch a thief, but th | & parlismenyus Leguinriy as Otx N ! p 1 Ris At lesson 3 e it 1s quite probe | & club. The proprictor of themule has dis- | Allibone, 1 lgva 1o look ut it; how it Out of Order. fact is o bad slam ou the well-meahing po- 4ot the logislatures, The only poins | Oneof them took his first 1e sson in a | immorise success, so that it i quite prob- | ¢ vared, however, that o handful of aand or oA TN Vo 2 Detroit Free Press: Colonel Parafine | iiceman 4 A 3 % | modest shooting gallery on some down- | able that others will be held before the | & * ] i tos 1t | ErOWS upon you.’ £ 4 S il ey e R of differc which T observed were | ¢t oroughfire. The genus dude 15 | scuson s over Crana Betve, | cottonseod thrown at the animal makes 1t | “ Very likely it does on you, Miss Alli- | Duw had been moving about in an un- | Tho adjectivo is tho bustle of terature—a these: The woman suffrage champions | not proficient in the art. Perhaps he is —_———— both in his wagon.” R = boue, but it does not on me; 1'm not a | easy mlunuvr rn&- s‘.|;\.-t|{,\(-ix|:x(: 111..- now ;nl'\'-':::'.:{:!»'"m” than an ornament—gener- | whom [ met in England were ludies, | afraid of & gun, or he may consume LDUCATIONAL. AT(FalkMRAAeHt Haspened) (o . hotss!| OSSBAGIE g popped up augd offered the following | Wy useloss, 4 e ] charming in manner and f to look | more ci ttes than are good for his t that was standing near i planing mill at This remark shortened their walk | resolution: The unselfish sex. e (ardently)—“I'd give a million dollars l win your love, Ade- ne 4. But such solid men about town about three hour: Resolved, Dat no man worthy of de upon. and, strange a8 it may seem— Dr. McCosh's rosignation as prosdent of | Beaver Falls, Pa. The circular saw struck a t ? laige.” She—“Cash!" upen and, S e imteneat | 1 Pierre Lorillard. Prank Lord. Hermnn | pricoton took cffcet February knotin s boatd, causing tholknot to Ay like Engiish as She is Wrote. name of an Amevican will submit t0 de | “0r all the viee in the world respectable | udies who took cons h Frost | Oetrtehs and others of that classve ¢X- | A achool of mincs s to bécstabiished as an | {i hotas kAt inadad. Tiete 1t the The teacher, a lesson he taught ; s el . repliod the prosic | JECisthe worst. And how black it does in gentlemen and their socie ere | perts with both wenpons, although as a | auxiliary to the college of Montana at Deer 1 fiosh and caused # paidfal wound. The preacher, a sermon he praugght, e A e S |l LR e L you may have observed, they ure not al- | Pile preferring pistol prac otrg A DI s dent, after a painful silence, “did you | of am pleased to loarn,” writes Senator | Wiys churming, are seldom comely, and, | pean’ duellists cannot. challeng Gaorgo W. Cable, tho novelist, Hus heon of. | wAsooich tectier, oivied'by G Graemo of s Haaler. hi HoG eher'see a tyran Tngalls, concerning the recent fire, *“that the | as it rule, abhor the society of men, New Yorkers with the impunity fered the pre Fairmount college for L s ). sah, neighbors saved the well.” And the screecher, he awfully scraught. The long-winded speaker, he spoke; The poor office secker, he soke; bogus silver dollar from a genuine one. A 0 X | few days ngo he was taken to a bank, aud a The endowment fund of the Kansas Agri- | handful of good dollurs mixed with bad ones cept such as openly spouse the! they women, at Wichita, Kan. few years ago. at do you mean by de tyrant's When Dakota becomes a state it will doubt | A" dozen or fifteen young society ries less adopt as its coat of arms an ear muff cou- | & nl~:|I\|nu of peculiarity in manner. | men from Murreay hill confess that they | cultural college now amounts to 00,000, and | was placed in a pile on the tab The dog ‘The runner, he ran *I—I dunno, sah.” chant un\l‘ @ shiver rampunt. !l everybody has heard of strayed far down town in their cabs, the | ¥ields an income of £32,000. jumped on the table, scattered the mone The dunner, he dan “What's de objick of dat resolushun?™ In tradin’ mules de man w'at doan put a b " DI WILLIAM HAMMOND. other night, and halted at the notorious | Prof. Brewer, of Yale is engagod in_malk- | With his paw, and quickly picked out all the And the shricker, he horribly shroke. “T jist wanted ter interduce it.’ little fringe an® u few buttons on de truf gits ] The description of his image of | Guneohouss which is Known s Billy | 8 topographical man_ of Connectical on a | good dollars.” The bad " ones he would not The fiyer, to Canada flew “Oh, you did! Brudder Daw, de | #po’ bargain in animal or hoot. il Budha, which stands in the spacious | MeGlory's. After wuiting an hour and scale of one mileto an inch. The cost willbe | touch. The buyer, on credit he bews quicker you kin sot down de healthierit The Transcript speaks of the turtle us tak | Hulllwoy o his beuutital lvesidence on | boing bored by w: common place about £60,000. Abe Marsh, a farmer, rmll\hnmflmu\ seven ”..»dm-r. he m;l- Will b fur you! But fur de fuct dut you | €3 l«-m‘llm;.'ln Uat dinners.” “Wo thought i ol Vel ! The public schools ‘husetts ar of Dallas, Tex., reports that The suer, he sid; o oue, AUl ur e et CHESOI ] he generally appeared as a supe ) West Infty-fourth street. has been | vypiety entertainment on the stage, m\lhl::dl‘_\}l . ”m‘L,',‘,“““u“‘,’: l““{fi",‘,‘,‘f("“fr‘."“,':,," vof Young folks ware. enjoying And the liar (a fisherman) low. amacompuratiy \:,\ new llll.lll||:|1.1|||_ A CarecRoRNbBY RN 12 L0 Neakoh LAY i spread far and wide, He is wbeliever | hroken every now and then by a waltz | drawing their children and sending them to e kel e 1A HOURB L re e R ¥a tMIGALBLY The writer, this nonsense he wrote; am down on de rolls marked ‘harmless,” f (% i c uppers | m the religion of Budha. His frequent | on the waxed floor by the men and | private schools. glided out of a hollow log which had been The fighter (an editor) fot Ishould fine you seven or cight thou- | y15wudays is because they have no soles, 1 appearance before the' public in his | women whomake the place arendezvous, “The failure of the trustees of Union college | Placed on the fire and began woving around The swimmer, he swam; sand dollars. “You has probably been If the pen is really mightior than the b special line, as an authority upon all | the uptown swells deeided to enjoy a | to clect a president at their meeting m Al- the The company stampeded all but a The skimmer, he skam; made the instrument of some member gword, we wonder why it docsn't turn on | cases in which the brain is a’promine: vor the lap of which one of the snakes crawled harmlessly. Tho snakes, the largest t | waltz themselwes. One of them tells me And the iter was hungry and bote. ed not less to win for ! that the girls needed no introductions bany, January 24, resulted in a lively display who has owed his butc of mllu_fmli ion on the part of the stidents. past an’ been dunned fu er fur a yiar some Of the poets and stab them to death, H De resolu- | Lady —*“There! for the first time \nur bill feature, has s e Best Time to Be Bor! ' of which measured over five feet, were dis- T { . 4 oab SArancs | fp T S 5 2. Kemble o 718 5 o ' o e i e’ declar’ 3 v, e b, st (exe o | it D O et ion have | [riners in the, provious dunce sSunk | i dsonon Monday, at the age of eighty. | George Morgan butchered a cow the other | ti as T born?" ' He Made a Report. Sometimes it is hard o toll whether o man f IL::I‘:H|;:.‘I.I'I‘r:‘:‘\uv Eeh N ‘:::d:“y,‘hn chairs around the tables. | i) /™ Ha \as the oldest living graduate ot | vy and took outof her stomach the follow- in the mornin Detroi hadow of the gallery. The vuck up and the Then o very Free Press: A citizen of slow * is firm in principle or simply obstinate, but i step and melancholy look entered the the man himself ney Woodbridgestreet station the oth ing articles, which have been examined by a reporter: Forty-two nails and pieces of nails, four buttons, one brass safety pin, one the collego. ohn Tallen, Texas state treasurer under Governor Hamilton, died at Galveston, Mon- «And what time was I born?” asked Jack. his study, however, where he receives | hand s his patic nts, !hu his appearance is th wncing began, queer series of |||<|Ih-|||~1n- expresses any doubt. day | Physician’s wife—How is the walking out i{ LDl . o v ! ¥ Tam i th bIBCKEMBbOE Heaa) OB opperieatt “Not until § o'clock,” : .| and said he would like to mak to-d my _dea Physician—Beautiful, | bucked chair of carved walnut. he beurs | women dropped her partner in the mid- | his fortune, §150,000, to the city of Galveston, | {1e PIEEs 07 WREH SRS BIEEE S8 | longer than yours.’ “On what?” queried the sergeant. ice! at l‘l‘l)llllll;:‘I: ’t‘:*.‘r‘vl% m:d “Ln‘l":: l\!\l‘"!;lll ]l“ 'n‘:l.ff.‘fuf.}ffifl"frr}.'.‘;":\xf'mlkld {::l);.w:lvl|;::“i o:‘:’ln- :lfl:::ll;im‘c“::r‘\:]vl ?:,:n‘?‘x:‘:u:lnn\x:‘l ::‘};?“)‘: inch lox{u.' three ;m » pieces of L!ln?s. one “Well,” said Jay ky “what's the use of “On a matte h happened at my ulh'xlnl 1‘n:|lm'kin a:‘hhxh s‘n]t \Vlllxl-hn:i. Kansas, | 3 ] ) as 8 o) i ¢ s ) tirard college f B! . | piece of oyster shell, four pieces of brass oi 'n before it's time to get up? i X hat bootblacks, it is said, will give you & for many years silently staved from its | romonstrated with her escort, so did i o y being bovn before it's time to get uy The total capital amounts to $10, which nearly eight million dollars'is produc- tive. The net revenue 1s nearly half a mil- | hody can kill a cow with nore articles inside lion dollars, and the college is sustained at u | of hor than this we would ke them to. trot cont of 1ittie more than four hundred thousand | g or cian fhis e would like them to- trof dollars, 31,720, of house an hour ago. “Very well. “I had o longled revolver lying on a shelf in the closet,” continued the man. iot that down? wire, three small pieces of iron, three pic of brass and' a picce of hoop skirt. If any “shine' and pay you a dollar for tho mud on your boots, A great university in Chicago is promised by one of the city’s milonaives. Of course, hog Latin will be included among the clas: pedestal ‘in the corridor. Indeed, [ another andanother. Two or three of there is an almost laugha- women presently re-appeared on the ble likeness between him and the ith partners chosen from among image of his deity. Imposing, majestic | the loungers at the table. Protection vs. Free Trade. They sat together on the lounge; A'blush suffused her face As round her form his manly arm 1 oks like an oracle SW s o A ir . i el i & At Albany, Ga., ashorttime simnce, Mrs, Stole in a tight embrace. Ye . sical studies. | pdygrut, l,"f e d'has 50 i What's the matter?” inquired the | = Calyin Fairbank, the abolitiomst who re | powdelr, wife of the presiding. elder 'of the “Is it quite proper, John," she said, “My wife's mother. who has been 1iv- | The kind of reed bird we got_at prosent in One feature of Dr. Hammond has so far | spokesmun for the uptown youths. | ceived 35,150 lashes at the hands of south- | Ape othodi f ctped public notice; that is. the man- | “We've got plenty of money, and will | ernors, is still living in good health ut Angel- | amoricet Methodist Episcopal church, TapLag VDM SHOMITRURET SR ing with us for a yoar pust, went into | most of the city restaurunts will stand up on | Fitwhich he roueivasghis) faos: 16| | by sl theiwineiin. thie housslit nesdss|| s MLy, Amnvemiont his|beon! started 10| | seoniod 1o efFart andaaw tier vet bl [l _Ibis my dear,Tho promipt replied, the closet to look after somathing.’ tho toust and ery chestuut,” it you. say i: h 0 , A @ tese cat play ake. The c “My warmth of love to show. “Ah! Shedid? I sece! “pep off the grasst” to them. understand this_thoroughly the read Why don’t you ladies dance with | raise a fundof §5,150, or §1 for_each of his | jaq very large one. The suake was coiled to WG kats L0 Estu on e haie i e : Pt S0y ! must have some idea of the position in stripes, to endow a Calvin Fairbunk college | girike. - Every time the serpent swouid strike SO e And in pawing around on the shelf | Wedon't know whetherto beliove the story which ho sits and that occupied by the | * “Because you can’t dance,” was the | fOF the education of negroes. atioat. Imagine a large room with | reply. me ceiling, beautifully furnished, 3ut th Said onolotithe decorated in dark and impressive | gw We all dance at the best par- colora’ A large deak, covered with | tiearand balls uptown, Come pupers and pamphlets and books that l|n- real reason for you all behav: ook chock f\l? of sdom, and the doctor in his chair, wheeled closely to she knocked the revolver to the floor.” \h;:' i‘\lr lh)-wn-llu‘ r‘;l»lilvd h; ke “{‘:0 i s % asked fora list of the best hundred books: i ot ‘,"’_‘\’]"‘_“““"‘ a woman. It wasexploded, | ST 0L Critten a hundred books.” B Twenty-three members of the present con- % i e Ssrr gress claim 1o have been newspaper men at And lhl bullet entered her leg?” Some stage of their development into states- men. That is how the profession gets its bad reputation, ] at it with its wicked-looking fangs the cat H. J. Furber, jr., is a young man not yet | would give it a vigorous slap on the side of twenty who is_preparing to found a gr head and it would be withdrawn. This by- university at Chicago after that of Heidel- | play continued for fully an hour, Mrs., Dow berg. He will devote $1,000,000 as an in- | dell stunding upon the steps watching the ducement for other citizens to join in the | combat, and fearing every moment to witness movement. Heis a graduate of the late | the death of her pet. At last the cat pounced Chicago university and is now in Berlin | upon the snake and killed it. And now that you should disapprove I scarcely did expect. ““Besides, my arm a symbol is, To show my future wife The duty of protection which T'll owe to her through life.” Then in low tone she archly said: S nonsens Vo dow'tany of you know how to studying. g “Perhaps—you may, deur John, :No, i i s pectator gives asa good examplo of the desk. Immediately behind ‘the | dance,” “You are as clumsy as goats,” | . The State Colorado university is in a flour- IMPIETIES. IR atho vewyon lakecLin {iayeay “,"“ e fo0E o it | | an L anIbu L ol e { desk stands o high sereen, which adds | T ain’t a golng to fall ov ishing condition; there is & much larger at- : faloay L ¥ Q ) sir, it never touched her at | man who asser at tho state of affairs | he ifice “appearance of the | all vound the room,” paman S qeot | tendance than ever before: the boarding cot. | A Nebraska church fair netted 11 cents, An Edsy Divore ough to make a man commit. suicide, ] ORVIORWARG S BB PPOALE 97] a1l round the ropm,2.wers the repliedio zos are full, The courses have been con- | five law suits,an incendiary fire,and a broke a8y, 2 o Vel s ver: sor, | or perishin the attempt.’ ¥ of the desk, facing the doctor, nn_l.\ Never were o lot of men more non- | aitord reater opportunity for the. atudy of | Sam Small says that “if there is an abom. | Pleasant for you, Mary June, why don’t ‘{,h‘_‘l{l‘m it dmhm his 1 Matilda_Flanders. Judge—Where do you i 2 the corner of the desk is between him | plussed than these. Almost before they | science. A normal course, covering four | ination this side of hell it is a church | you get a divor At Abratanait 2 live! Witness—Sce here, * jedge, 1 ain't and his adviser. Among all the things | could get off the floor the women were | years, has been provided; graduates for the | fair.” “I hav, 'houghtu( it, but Tdon’t need | ¢&n t understand it. here to be insulted. 1 hed that air masher in the room and scattered over the | in the nems of the men they were ac- | normal department will be qualified to teach | gam Jones now declares Kansas City to bo | one now. I can get rid of him cheaper The sergeant laid down his pen and | rup in for axin’ mo that wery same question. dosk, that which at once rivets the at- | customed o dancing with, and the | in any public school of the state of whatever | clouor to th bottomiess pit than any Gity he | than that.” looked at the man a long time. Then | \yyen it is thirty-cight degrees below at 1 tention of the visitor and which his | throng shd and turned in unison as | Erade. has ever visited. Mr. Jones is just beginning ““How 509" he rose and took him ‘by the arm and | st. Paul. it is just cold enough to harden up eyo cannot, however much , | graceful and easy as the heaving of the RELIGIOUS, his travels. “olinihas been engaged for noxt sea-{| Walked himiout doorsiand thoadedihimiythe rosabyds and ot lomiinizged sbope iy eseape, is o small glass weight | ocean on a calm day. The uptown 4 In the Sunday school: Teacher—-What | son usa bwse-bull umpire.” O e 1 tho il o L i e Hemlardnitis o SO as o PRI RO resting upon threo carefully arranged | swells took their defeat as graciously | A $100,000 cathedral will be built by the [ gan vou tell me of Lot's wife? Littlo girl— ANIEAG DI R BRI O T O o Iiparars ! i bank totes: The lower note rests in a [ as possible, but they looked unhappy | Catholics at Lincoln, Neb. Mother says I mustn't talk about other folks The Bloated Bumble Bee. buttoned his coat, “that bullet never g diagonal position, the one above it | and confused. The truth was thai, | The international scientific con Lehindish gl dlel Raise the pickens for the chickens, touched her and [ can walk her down | One waterville ldy expressod a great deal ) . e gress of “hi i i o Y o it of anxicty over the result of the vote on the crosses it dingonally; and resting upon | though they could waltz well enough for | Roman Catholics will meet in Paris next i“A :i""“ ?fi“_vrl“"flc;);“{r ‘““;}“"'fip':“'“‘.“ :"3'1' n:‘g‘"mfi‘l_“;“l’:fiu"‘“"r':l"]:’::;sk“““ here to prove it. or_ducstion. Whon asked hor reasons this 100, in such & manner as to hide | the uverage society belle, and as grace- Aprib and has for its object the promotion | PIColuuin” Tt ‘all right for the poor With a bloated bumblo beo. She Will Wanta Change. eplied: T don’t wunt Waterville to bo- ] their denominations, is u crisp 820 note. | fully as the orainary mau who tunes his | 88 d¢ Telopment ot e defence | 0 0r it he pit is bottomiess, Falling is | Don't you slight him, don’t you fight him, “Maria,,” said Mr. Wipedunks, as he ' Com¢ xl.‘.]-uln_\l n;n-?}ns‘o 'l'". uy citics are very Tt staves at ono with an awful threat. | steps to music one or two dozen | Ofthe Bethoe Bith L ] casy, but lighting s what serunches, e on vt awnllowate; A TaaaE a folded documeng | “Uhealthful places to live in.? p | It seems to say, *“Don’t dare to presume | times o year, they were not fitted to U"“‘l‘,d :‘{““l’\‘_““",],;‘"‘:“}‘,,': e Ay My brethren,” said Swift in a sermon, | If you do it you will rue it on the table, “T have just insured my | When Landscer, tho great animal painter, to hand out less than me. ; take the places of the regular dunc S communicants, an increase of 19.315, | ‘‘there are three sorts of pr , of birth, While you wrestle with a pain, Tlrattan 85000 ints Sl ay o B DRATel f o odiiped aiiabiuia SR dalikte Even as the doctor talks, pouring out { at & dance house lik These e ean o hinots clovgymen. the | of riches, and of talent. T shall not’ speak of [ Dom't you boss him, don’t you cross him s A W o ) g f words of wisdom to his suffering patient, | fellows dance for a livir na total being the last, a8 none of you is linble tothat abom- When the flowers are in bloom; “Thanlk you, Blinkerson,” smd Mrs. ! delighted to make your acquaintance, Mr. M or perhaps the patient’s friend, his eye | av work at thi um"nlm calling betw It is only fAfty-six years since the first | inable vice If you mcet him trv to greet him AL H i £ 00 51 SR 0 Y A AROS; M Wipedunk -1 am 80 fond of beusts,” b rlances ¢ Imly upon this #20 not “I hope it may be many Landse The man who goes fishing and sits in o five and ten hours a night every day in Catholic church was orccted in New Hamp- ; With respact and lots of room. 5 e ot ans e A e o R i f L D E I 1 el | (e ey L R SHRREE A o e e e T trampinviting posture on'a narrow thwart [ Don't attend him, don't offend him bofore 16 willibo of any use to.mo, | r\,,‘L,'fi,‘.,‘.‘“,‘_‘,‘l‘,'}!:"',':,‘h‘,"::‘lzl“{::‘m""’,\,f}l‘f A o 1 ing between the bank note and its | somothing more than four hundred men 2il Horace Barbar, who was befor from_early morn till dewy eve and calls On the fragrant flow'ry clumps s the same chap that never goes to “It will be of much use to you if accident, telegraphed on to see if the falls version to Roman Catholicism an Enpiscopal | fun. 118 SfTob il I tell you why, he'll dot youreye aan! A A Phagd . 1 “.““W‘A“-“ "t‘h' MR 1R “:“ 1 “’”“.‘{{ A ‘I“l""§“' ”""""‘,‘.‘l‘ hous minister. church because the pews aren’t comfortable. And give your car the mumps. you wish to marry again,” he growled. "}fi‘.""‘",,‘,’",",,‘:;;".’.'.'.‘n..‘.:"\:'if.'v':: oo tha ¢ linll‘:‘ l:\:_v‘:""\lm; ‘:imt "whi‘:»‘h rlml’ul\‘\u« ;:;\';:l“rmlleln I.fi.'.'"uf{l‘i..-' to five I(l;:l"I'||}|‘.l General Booth of the Salvation army has | A congressman wko heard Rousc's version One ailusion in conclusion “With $5,000 in cash an pick out § business continued right along every d in # almost any fool you like. [ g 5 vty No, Blinkerson,” she replied, affec- | Citizen—You look thoughtful, Uncle Ras- | tionate I think I should want a tus. Uncle Rastus-—Yes, sah. pushed his fc into the holy city of Judah, | of the Psalms sung and was assured that Fhstoad of ~David’s harp of solewn sound® | David wrote and saug them, said he now un- the modern Jew will have his ear vexed with [ derstood what was before a mystery—why To the weapon you should fear; Only one, 4 needie gun, Which fetches up the rear., described above. Try as I would | night, nceording to the skill and repu- to keep my eyes away they | tation they possess, and they scarcely . Ay 2 P d ot 50 | would always revert back there. | ever dance anything but waltz They | the ringing of the tambourine and the rattle [ Saul tried to kill him. If you enrage him and engage him change next time. % R Tk AR O B .,‘,i,",‘“,‘ [ until I became so nervous that much of | literally do no other work than danc of the drum. But the forces will not stop A Loa bon firm advertises econd- r- In a battle with his foes, — | ob dese different trusts, habbent yo't what I wanted to learn and much of | For the rest of their living they depend | here long, s they are en route for Zululand, | mons, =slightly damizal 5 shilli per | Friends will wonder why in thunder A Subtle Scheme. Citizen~Yes, Uncle Rastus—Well, Iso { what I wanted to say, were forgotten. | on the women and on betting. The British Bible society has been operat- {“""}“:‘} “.';!L::':; fl“'"‘;fi‘v "‘k“hl"h"uf‘» en You wear that poultice on your nose. Boston Transeript: “Is gwine down to the grocer's fo' ter negotiate Relentlessly, remorselessly, thut bill [ Constant partnership with them edu- | g in Belgium for the last fifty-two years, | hundred welghts bt bicked, Spleadid | 1n conclusion, in confusion, w on you or Miss Smith? 10’ er 'stablishtu’ ob u codfish trust. | held my soul within its grasp. When | cutes during which period it has put in cireulation :‘-:\“:];“"“m‘- B -ahilings cper mhyudry I‘IN break the ranks and run —_ - — | 4 A TNAYT B fire 3 T s o oo rne R Tri T copies of the scriptures in a country ik . ['rom this veoman, dauntless Roman, i the time came for leave (‘“"‘"L dared THR WOMEN] OF THESE IS01TS the bible was so compietely forgotten | Will S, He yric poet of the Ohio With his hypoderinic gun. 8| not ask the amount of the fee, but | toa proficicney as high as their own, so any of the people did not know that alley, has written a new hymn for Mr. i ) g-«mhl‘h\gl\- drew forth a note of similar | that in these places—the lust ones in | gueh a book was in existence. y Hayes can write better hymns A Poor Offer. 'i enomination, which one would look for a Th fivierre 5 alti and gu e of whisky more accurately | T understand, Softle emarked [ } b e special correspondent of the Baltimore 88 the o ore | ) un, n y." remarked & MRS, CORNELIUS J. VANDERBILT complishment—there is agr Sun at Rome writes that important changes | thun any other man between Cincinnati and Nibson, “'that you are going to get mar- Who is WEAK, ‘, NERVOUS m i | 1 passed me in Fisth avenue this morning | of rhythm to the w in connection with the government of the | Paducah. 3 ried.! 4 in an HOUR OF I‘)ol.l:mlESshMtflliml-wghhll‘l!‘fl and | mention it bechuse she illustrated | is seen in an asse \ ? A in the United States are con- | A party of jocose Americans recently sang | e is some teath in the report. T ,l'fiflu,"{,m,mf‘;“,fifglf,‘: 0',’13_ (s EX | : the new fact that the outline of the New [ trinrchs or the s in Delmon- zh nothing has been formu e D et other seras | pave offered my hand toa young ludy in 7 v}‘uml who nnwnnn-nmmu-u LIS York women of fashion, when on dress- | ico's. These same menand women ar »d upon in ccclesiastical RRARIACD!S o great bronzo | Harlem s ’ Hf ' ' i A Mflfll““""“ 88, . 5 that Archbishop Williams, of Boston, of Buddha, at Kamakura, Japan. The ety ED hy amem i | parade, is um)u,.rumu steadily a posi- | employed at most of the great masquer- : oY ’ \song, **Was that the best vou could do?” e Thi \ rpi “.u be made a cardinal ata consistory in | Japane w awed by the song, and as that the b vou could ¢ K.f dd dm tivo" chungo. This "is not obs ade balls of the winter inthe | N Thought it was offered as an invocation o | “What was the mater with that?" ve I eage an an -1 y able in a frow ew, bu s { academy and the opera house, some- | * oy e b hohir Buddha. “If the hand you offcred her was no e e Ty ] @ L, A : R} The Congregational church, which has had e hand you 15 ¢ A # s POWER ITALIT ‘1"‘"“"‘ e ‘,"f", “‘I‘f'"'.'“ of ""“i‘ times todance i costume. and somc- | gy existence in this country since 1020, now [ Do better than the” measley pair of nines : o 7 \ NI UAT RPREA G O D ACIE Yo BT TLLES ¢ "“';"“" Bred 40 buauy “l“‘ i stend- | times in evoning dress. ‘Thoy utirnct | numbers 4877 churches, 4000 ministers aud | to-morrov iy |[m;nu‘d of lm. or bobtail flush that you generally hold, ; PSR\ cornily wonkcnod, WHETHER BY EXCESS o NOT. or wi dropping from the waist line, and is | all eyes. and never fail to win admiva- | 436,37 communicants. The net gain during | deacon. *No, T dou ohear | ghe would be justificd in throwing it 4 i # B\ 11145 1imself abastcd nnd ashamed of i ko apparently endeavoring to reach the | tion.if not applause for their finished | the last four years has been 341 chiurches, 367 [ any new preacher until I know what folks i Lt ) L] i\ AMPOTENCE and WEAKNESS, “"""“‘N“M up. ministers and 45,760 communicants, An in- | think aubout him." “But you ought to use creasing activity, especially in the west, own judgment.” 1 never work on promises still greater results in the four ¥ knoes 1 ultimate destination, The | performances. Now and then a coun- extreme slope from the waist to the [ try beau, who prides himself on his oints of the bustle in the case of M 1 introduction to a The Ovga Grinder. £ v s PERFECT CURE 4 ; i - \ I hore it with exasperation, By a few weeks or months use of the L R U A Vears tocome, Country minister (to Vermont Deacon)— horg Itiwith oxaspers Puop. JuAX cm.\u, 1e new style is voted by ‘the admired, and ten to one he is st P SRR 1| that horse of yours, Brother Jomes. I . A music that's a sin! taste who promenade Broadway, to no by hearing her respond to |||‘(u||nph~ 1. Morris, shows the follow- | shouldn't be surprised if you could muke u no improvement. By way of a° costume | nients with: “*Sa-u-y, shorty, gimme At Harvard, fr 5 por | good trade with him.” Vermont Deacon— [ 1But when I went with spirit groaning, o , t'the topic, they are telling” in burl ue little less taffy. If yer want to dan 50 to 1 per cent in 1875} o , from | BAI rleht, dorginie. Just polnt the foller Band e ;“,‘.;‘,.I‘.‘“‘:d';“:‘.;‘ii N.n-"nmv RATIV d‘ i nm] ‘:;a"\'ilcc hlf’fl’ x.“s § circles that stately Aunie Sommerville, | climb in and show us what yer can do. per cent ia 1710 to% per cont_in 1850; at ut don’t let on that Iam a R Tk e 7 GIVIEN A NIV I.EA. the principal netress in- o current bur- [ 1f he proves awkwar H Princeton, from 49 per cent in 1850 to 15 per Qpho would have we mad u O L cent ln 1 at Williums, from 1500 and 40 per cent in 1 to in 1830; at Amherst, from 6 lesque nt o Broadway theater, placed | dismissed. her little daughter i a procenium bo The newsiost whim in that part of matinee. It was & cold day. Annie [ New York polite society which suffers was skirtless, of course, and bare as to | from chronic ennui may be o arms and shoulders. The child leaned | “pug dog reception.” Ttis yet too earl solicitously over the box railing, at a | to say whether this form of social ente time when she fancied that nobody | tainment will become a permanent feat- would notice the confidential communi- of high life, or even enjoy a season- cation, and said: » run of the season. But it has made per cent in Snapping Shoals, Ga., colored preacher 7per cent | afew Sundays ago frowm the pul)nl solemnly cent in 1525 | read: ; w oold. 1 to per cont in 130, Wesleyan still aken, nor shows 30 per cent of ministers among her | his seed begghng ob bread. he ‘said, eraduate laying the book down and raising his_specs’ The Universalist Rogister for 1858 reports | “U'bsecn them hustie like the debble fof atotal of 95% parishes, meat.” churches, church 657 Sun- | Two brothers not living more than fifty a members of Sunday | miles from Harrodsburg, Ky., look so much | He stayed his craukand stared in wondgr | 30,348 HCGING NG CORRONED | SULTS, IMPROVEMENT QUIOK ua“n = bl Indignant cap-a-pie; i I'y"""fifif ok | “1t makes you erazy, does it! Thunder! |IL LIN i { What d'ye think of me s SERTAROE MEA s, HIOME ok | Kt ““ g . Theso QUICK, Pum.mund CERTATN remodlios e now the standard adopted treatcent i By a Big \lulul'll). év NG Y HOSPITAL 1N FRANCE ~ Erery enl who has used them speak A 1116 whold van e of husmin know t iy 1 and recommentls o If he is a good base ball pitcher, of the 98 kuown Reatoralives of | “ curve brand, it is not nee y to know DM/ uanD MIZN and will find in this great discovery of Prof. uNlrvluI.l",fia i i | ) ey specialie o GITATY A EANS of U4 | *Poor mamma, aln’t you 0old?” . | a beginning under such ausnices as show « (. a valuation | alike that whien onc of ten Joined the Bap- | anything else. This acquivement in | - ME PERFECT SEXUAL HEALTH AND VIGOR, ] The front row of dudes overheard tho | that its promoters ave considerabla in 1 amounting to 81301350, | tist chuich and was about to be immersed, | the newspaper e for fame and wealth, | Tucoly Years Extensive Trial has ony ssred o Fix and Widen the great eputation of Pro. Cilc's Wethod. b . $ . elyve demies ound that he 0 clothes suitable for veizhs she f - n . o 2 portinent question, and laughed so | earnest. The set which inavgurated Miuarics and divinity. schools, | the ccchaion. hs 1o eaprossoq it Bo malt nis | Qutweighs ull other branches of human | ., FLELAICForuune, niddieasd and sves old man sufering trom weakiom, dobilez o ERECET X3 loudly that Annie’s “Hush?” was | this diversion is composed almost % in all 110 professors and®teachers and | brother 19 ceuts to be baptized in_ his b knowledge by u big mujority, with no | Giviuspaser, Waymay themsfo She Ml and inisgrity of the blodical Direetor, of the Clvia! R silenced to the rest of tho .;h. nce. rely of wnmarried girls, The afuir | L lmm‘.‘m.«“ The estimated of | This story seems incrdible, but it s the f districts to hear from, e b ol ion i gy werd o (5 LT & wOrd of tnirsemient Ko Thls theory an | vly everyone among the amuse- [ which came under my notice school and college property is 00, of | and would nes have been found out e e a8 "’(,‘4.‘, b 1ALk, s an advon N ovwn £ thfa clasw of -/ e tneasad’ Lha | robked. {or At s Afteruts o which total $1,100,000 represents Tufts Col- | not the brother got angry and given it awiy Woll, of Canrse, s SO and v U BT AR hilo publLof Dupiytbo A ] sturtling exhibitions given in shows of | thrée or four of the parties concerned | 1€ “Dat ‘ar *Li A western judge has decided that ‘nh it Pt s icntio & Snodgrass am the mos' on. man is in duty bound to tell his wife |»<.nl.~| lifa, They lmw gazed with Au|v hap, pen d Lo e relizious n ALl brought along | A 4 e or 1 ehber did remarked . . cac : embe L | " g young preacher picked up Bisk 1l Jo g o Ui ere he spends evenings when he ron s Buouclpedin, pades v & lexns or any one of the territories, at- | with which the suub-nosed crenturcs | it was oxactly & fit. ~Why, Bishop," suid nuin. Hit's" ‘.5“. b AR DR | e e A Lo f Tan " hoe hasntt W New i peron and foond that Remn uif.'m‘.»y-. nm‘;‘nrau!-nnmwrflwfly‘ | tired like u female cowboy and gifted | viewed cach other led to the suggestion | he, “-your htad and mino aro exacily the | he bin sayim it = Wy the adder dug e | Dernt (mt And when he tells her the um-»'m-d i L L ol Tl S8 2 L i, W | with a nerve aud an eye which enuables | of giving to the pug the complote flavor | swme size™ *Yes," replied the bishop, ‘on | were all tellin’ tim *houtthe golden streets | yruth she thinks he s been soumewh leto !lmu-n\!urk FREF. Upon recelpt of 4 cts, in stamps wa will send to any sddress, | her to perform the most difficult feats | of the grade of life in which they extst, | the outside. an'do crowns of glory aul do_placo whar | glgg yyy} securely so Ooyy of Ouy apisodid 4) Baxs freatiee: glvine e Navte Omuge. Bitlieiersg ] in marksmunship with pistol or vifle, ul Pwo or three conferenc s,llld to b ln\\l lhmilhmt_humnut ot h hmn nuftin to do but jes' to play golden else anyhow. o b {“‘tmontull xrlr‘u:‘u::r:l\u:‘?'n -vvtzl;“:': d"l'rmlr!llmu with endorsements, testimouials, &¢. AU 4 0 > 2 et. vo p 0 A Bty ° P h W boontly D ¥ Lias liebe ite? 2 mmunicationsinyiolah i % i ar back as 4511, At the ¢ { eight. years ) < ; - s . urdette: “*And so Tom has gof I | ok ear Troim Iho ETeal il | e R aain uaon the Lav Al Sligibia | fan bag inved i conceria, and. bis Arst cown | aus g1t erioms Sous e eiber. ould ‘miay | home from colloge, Mr. Bighea? 1 uu- [ ALz sgentsforthe noy colebreted Stastie seif at WV \'» ICOCE E & | lhufiurm!) stage. wnd perfumed paper, in which *Char- | position for te piano forth way written whew | 01a b by, o ockonod ho wius too'old | derstand he is quite a linguist A TR SN A T R s A . = cothur eveuing T happened in at - ley," of No. — Fifthavenuo requested | be wus cight and a balf years old. w learn.” “He's the boss linguist,” remarked | Address, CIVIALE REMEDIAL AGENCY, 172 Fulton New Y A i ? 0 ]