Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, January 22, 1888, Page 11

A e v N e NN S—— A REPORTER'S TRIP YHROUGH THE CITY BY NIGHT The Different Places Visited and What Was Witnessed by the Pusher of Fa- bers' Favorite—An Interesting Statement’of & New Case, —_— Tho lite of & reporter on & Aaily paper {5 not ong of the most y lots. He 1< cast into sn the hizha to the he i call. up'” the sud- ¥ wis known inquest, of 1w ma, wh a reliable raflfoader, @ teamste ar- r, if ot perchance & bricklayer or evon a on laborer, On his way back t the office 18 notes a fend says, “1can give you the uame, Of u party 1o be married at acertain hour,’ quest of news the reporter finds u poor mother and several smail chifdren ina mis- wrable kind of hovel and n o famishing condi- 1. Promising to do all in his vower o relieve ends his w again, when his turned to his note Hook. ASt 0N @ memor: Bays: ox tight ut— — at 7 hers comes the trial for the pencil y Iending minister is to preach mon fro text which he desiros printed and the repor has promised to do that work, as 500 marked gopies of the paper contalitlng thit s+Fuon L 0 be inatled to the ministerial friends of the pus- tor, RE 13 A PRETT A coroner's inquest, & starving feht and & prominent diving ermoi, all to b written up by the same person for the pap-r published next morning. Allof the ahoyv B vy withina conple of hours. The re porter makes the effort and by holding the *forms' for half an hour s successful and cets rid of his load of care, but such was not the case with the gentienwn who mukes the follow- ing interesting statement: o the writer who met Mr. Wiliiam Crowder,a teamst 8. family, a d 1 sotne ye wvloyed by the as A dnborer, 11 was W working without any cout on wie it wirin by the time 1 quit me with my con A i up and b Jnew 1 and took and head, which 1 Company morn ng. M of year nber My appeti o poutils in o tell the t were regular until recently. 1 COULD XOT SLEEP AT N1GHT, and when Tarvose in the worning | was as tired as 1 was before | retived at nighl. 1 would have Kome of the most horrible dreains n ble. | also became low-spirited and despondent, and wished 1was dead, Things be rapidly, The fall of the year ¢ take colds on the least exposur Would feel full, my nose stoppl up ani 1 would Dblow out hard ¢hunks or scabs which seetaed to e blood. — They were putrid and emitted a bud o ¥ broathi was very offensive. 1 notice atter o while thut 1 had a buzzing or ringiy nobse inmy head, and my hearing secied to | aflected,us T eould not héar o plainly as hetore, My ear and_sometimes i ully at night, when the pillo be sofle found the s with me ty shor i more than that my trou; and that it 1 tubes werd cted, 1 was troubled with a hack- ing cough and would have to hawk and spit a greater part of the time in the morning, 1t was 0f 1o uneommon occarrence for me to g and vorit before I could ¢ ¢ throat, 1 read the advertisement of Dry somethi with themand was surprised_at_the low pi they agreed to furnish me with medicine and treat we for one month, They did not promise 10 cure mo, but_said they would help me v materially. 1 began treatment and have orily ting for a litile over one month and the remurkable change that hus come. over e 15 stuply wonderful. "1 hear as wellas 1 ever A1, my nose does 1ot stop up, 1 do not hawk Vowels ire as regular ns and spit any more, i etite excellent, 1 sleep clock work, my wy soundly and donot have those horrible dreatas any more.and feel hetter than 1 have felt for a number of 3 1 fevl v because I never and have no lic to the and Henr: ment to cured me after merous patent 1. ateful that T am 8o much better acted to foel this well again, fled.” HOWDER, Crowder can be found at , cornier 14th and Ha corrobborate the above, FETID NASAL CATARRH. Its Simptoms and What It Leads To—The Miserable Feelings, Etc. This form of catarrh is essentiaily a disoase of the nasal cavity proper, and does. not extend to the vault of e pharyn. Foruwhile u dey o tareh may, and v requently does, develop in that region as the result of structural changes within the tissues of the mucous mewmbrane. ‘The Bymptoms mainl; »usist in the accumulation in the nasal cavity of offensive musses and cr together with more or less of a tinid dischary The nasal cavity thus obstructed the breathing s difficult mell is impaired, if not entirely Al lability to take colds on the Teast cxpostire exists, and the bility o changes of temperature and th c damp atmosphere ficquently of the nasal wucous membrane, tion goes_on from the surface (0 the membraesth and still losing their moisture, large crusts are anally built up from below, which mould Ives in its nurrower portions in such a that the suffe is unable to dislodge and they remain in positon for days and ' odor i offenxive n the ex- oo i rosult of this long retention, during which time the putrefactive changes are con- stantly goiug on, The sufferer mav be entirely ous of the offensive breath, but others Teadily notice it aud endeayor to shun the cow- Honship of such persons. To Face and_Features. Theve are many cuses wherein fetid catarrh Tias dove its destroying work in the naxal pass. aes, poisonihg the breath, ruining the sense of sumelling and taste, and perceptibiy marring the featn ometimes, in long neglected or im- properly reated cases glving theu an_ app ance dixtorted, ropulsive, alnost deformed. Much that 18 true s been said regarding the csults of catavrh impairing the general health ing the throat, lungs and stomach, and pro- and dyspep: hing afn rsons aults s1 ¥ maun rook- e noses come from this canse Aistortion commonly known s “froje f trequent sult, Dark rings about ¢ o and in tlamed and nosteils, a as by result 0SS Proc fmes serfously affected, o 1, weakssight, swinuning and wat plood shot appesrance g the econ moen conditions that obtain DOCTOR J, GRESAP McCOY, Late of Bellevue Hospite!, New York, AND ; Dr. Columbus Henry (Late of University of Pennsylyania) HAVE OFFICEN #10 and 511 IN RAMGE BUL teenth wad Harney sts,, O where all curable cases ace treatod with success. Medical diseases treated skillfully. tion, Hright’s disease, D spel psiv, Wh DISEASE: N Coru Consump- LU ish, and all NERVOU Al dis uliar to the a spectalty, CA' L TLTATION at office or by matl, e hours 4 to 1l a. 1., ¥ to 4 p. m. m.. Sundsys inelude Corresponde My diseases w Drs, MeCoy nnd H; 118 thus possible fo Journey to obtain successtul Wt their hom No let ters 4¢ in stamps. Address all letters to Dis. McCoy and Henry Rooms 510 and $11 Lamgebuilding, Omak; answered unless beings except those of the immediate household. Bo for five years she did not leave the few rooms over the merchant’ MATRIMONIAL lNClDENTS.‘ store which constituted her father's Al for Gold — A Very Pretty home. Pale and delicate Fong Sen Romanoe. grew. and was contented with her life, She knew no othe But one morning there came a sudden change. Her little servant-companion announced that sh wus going to be married tothe mer- chant’s trusted agent, but she would not ‘ollowed by Deser- | leave Foug Sen: she would stay right along as though nothing had happened, MARRIAGE OF A CHINESE MAID. A Hast« Marriage [ tarmer of - Lexington 2, 1888 ~TWELVE PAGES township, and when the Jovet came here lut%‘rhlny he called dn her there, but meeting yrith a cold repeption from the uncle he beat a hadty retreat for Olathe. The next marning the young lady found a ¢ chance to send him a note containing the information that she would ' be at o certain church on Christmas'evé, and if he would bring the license and a minister she would meet him there and be married. This | wus enough for the lover, who hired *a Boatine v RS TORME | TR 1o only she was to be married. Fong Sen | mance—A W ng ina went to her father and told him she Snowbank. wanted to be married too. Her father, iin nothing loth, consented, and imme diately began seeking g husband for her. He soon found one who met hisap- proval, and the daughter was informed 1 for Goid, Boston Traveler, ittt e e Ll that the husband was found, and prepa- Thisyll fobe mo ih ]y bIEdAL govwn, rations for the great occasion began Phe ot buds will be my crown without delay. Costly garments, made The white veil will go floating down § of the bhest of silk, were earefully and 1 bear the spl it were my w ah me! ndor meet, vichly embroidered, valuable presents ing sheet, of gold aund precious stones were se- ¢ leeted,and itseemed that the ideaof ex- Ky pense did not enter the futher's mind. The only white persons allowed into the presence of Fong Sen during the five years of her maidenhood were two Sunday school missionery ladies. These ladies had spent much time and patience in teaching Ghee Hee and other China- men the mysterics of the English nouns and adjectives, and he did not forget ' When all was avranged for his daugh- ter's departure he procured a elos carringe and drove with his daughter out to the homes of these ladies that she might pay them the courtesy of a farewell visit. The father then man- aged in some way to smuggle hisdaugh- ter into her stateroom on the steamer, Noone is known to have caught a glimpse of her. Fong Sen's ems about my ne Ah me, th me! (hey'1! twine white gems about m And 1 shall give no sign, no check, But well enough L too, shall reck That dewy pearls are for my {ears, The deadly opals for my tears, « Alime, ah wme! They il lny my pra Ah e, ab me “They 1l Whi And Lear the or And T shinll neithe But hive and smile on it through itall Abe. ah o me! They'Il lead me 1o the altar rail, Al e, ahiwe! A me to the altar rail, And my false lips will never fail, Nor ) false heart never quail; As [ breathe o'er those words of old, And sell myself for love of gold, Alme, ah me! ook in my haud, husband is Tun. He is wealthy, and talks and writes very good kaglish. He is an agent of the Ding Yung company, one Y. ) Correspondence 1 of those influential, famous and e Theve was o quiet uely wealthy concerns grouped un= Jee Chong Pretty Romance. w (N orlk World: New ¥ wedding at the residence of PeterD. the nume of “The Six Companies Kellogg, in South Bloomficld, this ‘ong Sen, while she was reared in county. a fow duys o wnd because of | about the same v that all good and an ant ting romance that is attached | virtuous Chinese givls are reaved, was 1o it, the affaiv has caused unusual dis- | fortunate in two things. She was not cussion, born in China and she had an elder Twenty-six yea o John W. Rus- | sister. These prevented her from being sell was tho son of th Uhiest favmer | maimed by having her feet wrapped in this neighborhood. He was o b tightly in fine cloth while in infancy, and promising young man. His fathe and kept so confined in order that she seut him to Columbia eollege to educate | might be the fashionable daughter of him for a lawyer. At the same time | rich parents, and all the world would Helen Shevman, the daughter of [ know it by her small feet. Unele™ Alonzo Sherman, was the ac o Hee's eldest daughter n China knowledged belle of the southern part | with one of his wives, She is dighteen of Onturio county. ¢ beauty, that of | years of age, and has waited two years the blonde type omion remark | for her father to come home to her so and she had many For yeurs xtspring. that she could be married, Helen and Jolin had been and | if his busine: will not allow him the fricndship ripened into love, and in | to go buck to China on a visit, he will 1861, when John was at home on his | write his daughter a letter and she will first vacation from col they be- | be marvied, because when o Chinese came engaged 10 be marricd. maiden has passed the age of eighteen Russell retwrned to his studies in [ she is not wanted as a bride, or, in the 1861, whey the war fever wus ut its | language of Gee Hee himself, **Girl no height, and one evening at 4 war meet- | mailied cighteen, she no good.” This ing he enlisted in the He wrote eldest daughter is a typical Chine; long letters to his parents and his | bella, She has very small and almost finncee and started for the front.. In | useless feet and a wealthy father. December, 180 Russell was captured by the confederatos and lodged in An- dersonville prison, where he was con- fined for seven months, and upon being released was attacked witQ brain feve »v cight months he was an inmate of union hospital at the south, and he mude a narrow escape from death. While Russell was in prison his father died, and his estate having been found insolvent, his mother went o live with Married and Deserted in Haste. ome time ago Miss Annie Craft, aged nineteen, came to Kansas City on w visit to her aunt. About a week later, for some reason unexplained, she in- serted o personal in the Star askingfor the acquaintance of some young gentle- men. Charles A. Brown, a clerk here, son of a wealthy lady of Columbus, O.. answered the personal and met the her brother an Philadelphin, Russell [ young lady by appointment. Love at had not been heard from in mauy | firstsight seems tohave been the sequel, months, and he was mourned for at his | for, a week later, the young man pr home ns dead. Helen’s father was | cured a marriage license for himself and Miss Craft, and on Decomber 27 the killed in an explosion on his farm at about the same time. and,with her | two were quietly marvied ata Methodist mother, sheremoved to Youngstown, O., | parsonage. The girl went back to her where the mother and daughter lived | huntand remained there until last Mon- FRMands incoms |0l en she left. and going to Brown’s boarding house, surprised everyone by declaving that she was married and pro- posed to live with her husband. alone on_their v When Russell was discharged from the hospital in 1564 he had heard no news from South Bloomfield for year and a half. Ho wrote home from Balti- On Friday 1 more, and, getting no reply, be went | young lady, living at Denver, to New York, and, getting some money | here and was horritied to learn that from his old vollege fricnds, he started | had marrvied on such short acquaint for Chiengo, where he obtained work as | ance. He went at once to Brown's wnd lator into the | rooms, and a stormy scene followed, in went a bookk~e grain business. A fortune of $35,000 | which he threatened all manner of was made in a few years, and he re- | vengeance, but left without doing any- moved to Portland, Or., to engage in | thing. Yesterday, however, Craft went the lumber business, where he amassed | 10 the house while Brown was away at a fortune of over $300,000 before he was | his work, and by dint of mingled thirty-cight yoars old. threats and persuasion,” induced the bride to leave her husband. an orphan and of age, swears he will have his The girlis During a visit_to Chicago last June and Brown Russell happened to pick up in a hotel one day an old copy of an Ontario county newspoper. 1t contained a local letter from his old home, South Bloom- _ A Postage Stamp Romance. ficld. Ho cume upon a short pro- | Minneapolis Tribune: Charlie Holt, fessional card announcing thut Miss | conductor on the motor line, has been Helen Sherman was a teacher of instru- mental music at South Bloomficld. Russell started at once for his old home and called upon Helen Sherman, who was overcome with emotion when he made himself known. Russell told of his love and in a few days they were again engaged. having a little trouble lately in ence to the girl he left behind him. Charlie is engaged and has been for some time toa very estimable young living at Calais, Me., named Hat- saunders. Arrangements were made for the young lady to come to Minneap- olis as soon as Charlie’s prospects were a little brighter and they would be married. gs were running along ') until finally all lette from C betrothed ceased, and he thought she had forgotten him, Never- theless he faithfully kept on writing, but strangely enough the letters nev Marriage of a Chinese Maiden. ays o Seattle (W, T.) Correspondent: Two square chests neatly covered with bright new canvas which was fastened at regular intervals with little brass, oblong buttons, were noticed a week ago, one on the other, all stamped and reached their destination. Saturday sealed ready for shipment to San Fran- | Postmaster Aukeny received a letter of cisco, in the oftice of the Northern 1 inquiry from the postmaster at Calais, 5 company away up here in | which” was referved to in Sunday's ) . | paper, asking the whereabouts of "hose trunks belong to Gee Hee's | Charlie Holt, saying that Hattie daughter. volunt d the obliging | Saunders had finally come to the and she is going down to conclusion thut he had deserted her, 500 to be married. as she had not received any let- ndeed! And who and where is Hee?” 40, e is a wealthy me ters, but had written a g self. They both wer despair and Hattie was in des You chant. can find him over on” Third street, in | believing the other fal young Chinatown.’ lady’s father made inquiries from end, After the lapse of a fow days, when [ a5 °did Charlies relatives from here had about time to hear of his | Postinaster Ankeny was positive no let- s sufe arrival in San Fran- | ters had arrived he wuse if they co, 1 called upon him and enjoyed a had they would have been delive talk, which was ed, v pleasant tall s ended | and besides no one here had an object with the courtesy'that the Chinaman, | in inte upting the lett Charlie especially the w forgets —the pr This m ilthy Chinamun, never sutation of a fine cig haut from China has been in a telegram to his betrothed, how- ghtened out and ex- r plained everything. The trouble all Seattle for more than twenty years. He | originated at the other end, at Cal r English and isa shrewd | whéve the mischief-making culprits financier. He talked without reserve | avout his fumily relations, and alwa answered questions about his daughter with a happy and beaming face. Little Foug Sen was born here in Seattle in 1871, and when she was a lit- tle over one ar of age her parents went back to China. The mother was ©. It seems that some one—base villiaus, whoever they were—who cither loved the fair Hattie or perhaps wi in love with Char him.wh, had been s curing and reading the letters of both partics, thereby endeavoring to break off the match and further their owi ends. But now everything been going to join wife “No. 1,7 hecause | hnppily set aright, and the young lady when Gee Hee returned he brought | will soon come out and two will be mar- wife **No. with him, and she still 2d, demoustrating that all’s well that ends well.” presides over his home in this eity. The other two wives still live in China, with two or more children each, all of whom are being provided for by the husbaud . who tries to visit Married in a Snowbank. Oluthe (I11.) Spee News came to town this morning of a romantic mar. them at least once in e 3 riage which took place on Christm Baby Fong Seng did not go to China | eve about eight miles west of here, with her parents. She was taken asfar | The contracting i were J, R. =8 Victoria, British Columbia.and there | Brown, a lawyer of Havana, Il and she was placed in the kecping of trus Miss Amanda Walker, a young sehool friends, who continued to carve for he for ten years, Then the father, on re turning from one of his voyages to h old home, ealled for her and by her to his own home. He brought with her a little servant girl who was only wo years olderand the two little China t irls bocame inseparable, The daughtor was now eleven years of age, and hud come to that period in teacher of the same place Y lady’s family were oppo and sent her out here about two months ago to get her out of the way, but it is the old case of love laughs atTocksmiths over again, She wrote to her lover, telling of her hiding place, and he wrote to her renewing undying devo- tion, but she never got the letters until her lover came here last week and took young to the match her life when, in the beliof of her peo- | them to her in person to the number of ple. every virtuous givl must shut hev- | two dozen. She was staying with her self awuy from the gaze of all human [ uncle, Henry Wagner, "a well-to-do team at 4 o’clock and set off with the robate jadge to meet his affanced. "hey got th the churchat 6 o'clock. The young lady, who had been occupied in- side fixing upa Christmas tree with goods sent by Santa Claus, met them at the door and got into the carriage. It was then dark, and the intention was to drive down the road a short distance, have the knot tied, and the young 1ady then to return as though nothing unus- ual had_occurred, but they had gone only a short distance when the horses got frightened and ran away. There was a lively time for about a mile, but the driver thally pulled upin a snow bank six feet deep, where Judge Allen soon pronounced the now thoroughly frightened but happy couple man and wife, after which the party returned to the church, where the groom left his fe und came to Olathe. He returned last evening, but before going he left a check for his bride, with instructions to follow him as soon us she thought advis- able, which will be as soon as she goets time to break the news to her mother, and have the family wrath blow over. CONNUBIALITIES. A soventeen-year old girl in Winfleld, Kan- sas, has been twice married and twice di- vorced, and will soon wed a third husband. A Petersburg, Va., patr years of age, is now reveling wife, and i the happy father of thir children. Heiress—I am afraid that it is not forgme that you come here so often, but for my money. Ardent wooer—You are cruel to say 80. How can I'get your money without get- ting you! Miss Alice Freeman, who recently married Prof. Palmer, of Harvard, is a western girl by birth. She is thirty years of age, dark, of medium height, with a nice figure, and i% o brilliant talker. Miss Fait, daughter of the late archbishop of Canterbu is to marry in Februnry the Rev. John Ellison, son of the canon of that name. She is a highly accomplished and amiable young lady. Miss Sallie Lighteap has eloped from Iaston, Pa., with George D. Mcllvaine, half- back on the foot-ball team of Lafayette col- ley Miss Lighteap's parents have persist sed the attentions which Mellvaine was paying to their daughter, but a college foot-ball player is not easily “downed.” There is a young lady in Kcokuk, Towa, who is six feet four inches tall, and she is engaged to be married. The man who won her did it in these words: 'hy beauty set my soul aglow I'd wed thee right or wrong. Man wants but little here below, But wauts that little long. Young Burten, of Georgia, distances all previous records in marryin; He is but twenty-two years of age and five women already shéwed up marriage licenses proving themsclves to' have been married to him. Burton is said to have registered a vow to marry twonty:five women before he was twenty-five years old, and his record so far certainly indicates that he would have done it. One of, twa things is certain. Burton is very fascinating or marriageble women down south can be virtually picked off the bushes. Mr. Joln Fiske is to lecture during the coming six' weeks at the university of Penn- sylvania. i The trustees of Cornell university have created a new professorship of horticulture in the department of agriculture. Mrs. Reuben Gaylord, of Omaha,has given £1,000 to the Ladies’ boarding hall, of Gates college, Nebraska. It will be called the Gay- lord Memorial hall, Miss Story, the daughter of a North of Ire- land clergyman, has won the literature schol- arship of awarded nd. Miss Francis Lord, for many years super- intendent of the ndergarten system in London, is the only woman save Queen Vic- toria who ever held a publicoffice in England. Bishop Keene, of Richmond, president of the projected Catholic university at Wash- ington, says that the new university will be th8 greutest theological seminary world. The winter term at Well, college has opened with Helen A. Shafer as president, Miss Shafer is a woman of remarkable intel- lectual qualities. Her specialty is mathe- matics, President Eliot of Harvard univer favors athletics ty, and has himself puton the gloves now and then for a friendly encoun- ter. “Asapu ntific amusrment,” he says, ‘‘there arm to be feared” from boxing. The Pennsylvania schoolmistress who was boycotted by the scholars hecause she took the place of a favorite teacher, continnes to draw her salary and puts in the {ime work- ing slippers, It will be a decidedly slippery season when the boys return. Prof. William (. Hammond, formerly at the head of the law department of the fowa State university, and now dean of the St. Louis law school, has gone to Boston to de- liver a course_of lectures on the +History of the Common Law" at the Boston University Law school. Senator Colquitt, of Georgia, says the school envollment in Georgia has increased from 41 white and black, to 309,594 in 1 the colored children in school numbered 0 1885 they num- d 119,243, and he' thinks they now num- cer at least 140,000, A fight has been begun in Massachusetts against parochial schools that is likely to involve pretty much the whole state before it is finished. ‘The state board of education claims that under the present system of in- spection of schools are not maintained up to the requirements imposed by law upon public schools of similar grades. ‘of. Maria Mitchell resigned the chair of nomy in Vassar college on_ the plea that she ne t: but the executive commitice of the tru: did not accept the resignation and granted her indefinite leave of absence, her salary to go on until the annual meeting in June. At that time it is fnot unlikely the distinguished astronomer will be made pro- fessor emeritus. She is in her seventieth r and she had gained high rank in her sci- years ugo while she has been pro. of ustronomy at Vassar since it was started in 18 e A Thankfnl Marn Detroit Free Pi : He walked the length of the postoftice corridor twice, inquiring for the postmaster. and was finally recommended o the chief clerk. He had a letter in his hund, and he askod: Ah slr, “then are the chief you Yes, sir “Have 1 made any mistake in the building? This is the postoftice. [ take i It is.” I should like to mail a let Very well,® I suppose where here? You can, sir. “And a letter will go out?” It will ) to Chicago, will it?" , sir.” Thanks! I can buy u stamp some- Two cents, I be- T'wo cents.” “If not over-weight If not over-weight.” Thanks. 1 will now buy a stamp and mail my letter. Much obliged, sir “Oh, not at all, Butl am, siv, I kuow a gentleman when I see one, and ou that your kindness has off my shoulders. obliged, and I will rec very soon.” sit, very much procate the favor FUNNY THINGS BY FUNNY MEN. ‘L he Humorist Convinced that Leap Year is a Fraud. SHE PRESENTED HER TICKET. A Kentucky Story -Something Nice— The Telephone Wrong—-An Ode to the Sleet-A Great Lodge Man, The Funny Man, €. . Benham in Harper's Mogazine, Who is that man who sits and bites His pen with aspect solemn ! He is the funny man who writes The weekly comic colutin. By day he scarce can keep awake; At night he cannot rest, His meals he hardly dares take— He jests, he can't digest. His hair, though not with years, is white, His cheek is wan and pale, And all with seeking day and night For jokes that ure not stale. His jokes are few: the choicest one Is when by luck a word Suggests to him a novel pun His readers haven't heard. And when a Yankee joke he sees In some old book —well, then Perhaps he gains a moment's easo And makes it do again. “The thought that chiefly malkes him sigh Is that a time must._come When jokes extinct like mammothis lio And jokers must be dumb. When every quip to death isdone And every crank is told; When men have printed cvery pun Aud every joke is old, ‘When naught i heaven or earth or sea Has not been turned to chafl, And not a single oddity Is left to make us laugh. Convinced That Leap Year is a Frand. Clytie—Harry, you must have noticed that you have grown very dear to me. I—I—it is useles to longer conceal the truth, my darhing—1love you! Harry (turns pale and trembles)—Tt is s0 sudden. Miss Jones, Excuse my a, tation, but 1 must have time to think. Clytie—Then you bid me hope, my angel! Oh, rapture! Harry (blushing coguettishly behind his whiskers)—I have not said that. Reully, Miss Jones, I must refer you to ma Clytie Cruel, cruel one! Why have you awakenad this pleasing hope in my bosom if only to blast it? Consider love. Will nothing move you to merey? Bestow upon me this little hand and make me the happiest of maidens. I —Alas! I fear it cannnt be, T esteem’ you highly as a friend, Miss Jones but—forgive me if I pain you—I donot love you. (Holds out his hand.) But I will always be a brother to yo She throws herself with a despai wail on Tus and world, convin fraud. ng bosom, kisses him passion- out into dark, dark that leap year isa A Kentucky Story. W. H. B., in Chicago News, "Twas a gentleman’s game, And me and the major Sat into the same Just to pass away time, For we cared not a dine For the wager, There was one at the hoard Amuzingly sil! But he seemed to be stored With plenty of stuff For a good game o' bluft, Did this gillie. He was one o' that kind That told by his action The state of his mind, So we knowed by his look Every hand that he took 0 a fraction. When it come to his p And we both had appraised him, He reckoned he'd stay, But we knowed he was cooked By the way that ho looked, So we raised him. he tilted us back, ‘And me an’ the major Sent in a whole stack Just to learn the young fool That it wasn't a good rule For to wage “Then he reached for the pot As he looked in our faces, And said “Tell ye what, \ You want to look grutf When you're going to bluft With four aces.” Something Very ) . “Have you anything very nice in a lady's “wrap?’ asked a' handsome woman of Colonel Knott yesterday. “Yes, madame,” responded the Col- wbsently. **Something ver i y best girl.. *That's her going out the door now You ought—" The lady began to smile and the Colonel recovered and blushed so ved it took all the color out of his necktie. ozen Up. snow lies whero late we saw the grass, The breezes chill the blood, \e mercury nightly in the flass Falls with « sickening thud, The storm cloud skurries in the skies, “The ocean flings its spray Upon the shores - there are no flies On lazy men to-day. The Telephone Gane Wrong. A subscriber to the telephone ex- change asked to be placed in communi- cation with his medical man. Subscriber—*My wife complains of a severe puin at the back of the neck and oceasional nausea. Doctor—*"She must have got the ma- a. lul Subseriber—"What's best to be don At this moment the clerk at the c tral station alters the switch by mistake and the unlucky husband receives the veply of a mechanical enginecr in answer io the inquiries of a mill-owner., Engine believe the inside is lined with excoriations to a cosiderable thickness. Let her cool during tl night, and in the morning before fiving up take a hammer and | about with it vigorou Get a garden hose with strong pressure from the main and let it play freely on the parts affected.” To his great surprisc the doctor never saw his client again Ob, the Sleet. Washington Crit Oh, the sleet, the beautiful sleet, Coating _the pavements, smoothing street: Putting a glare on the world below And making the walking very slow; Gliding, slidin A% one inspired, Beautiful slect you make us tived ! Dropping a lady kerslop, kerchuni, Letting a gentleman down kerplunk Gentleman swears in a manner absurd, Suffering woman says not a word, Beautiful sleet, from heaven above, Smooth as & hypocrite, fickle as love the What he Wanted to Know. “Now, children,” said the Sunday school teacher, who bad been impressing upon the minds of her pupils the terrors of future punishment, “if any of you have anything on your winds, any trouble that you would like to ask me about. I will gladly tell you all I can,” There was no response for some tim At length a little fellow on the other end of the bench raised his hand and said: Teacher, I've “Well, what 18 1 Ef you was me and had a stubbed toe would ye tie it up with a rag with a nicker onto it, or would ye jes let it go? t a question.” A Dire Warning, Cease all foibles, stop 3 ora, Humbly bow before the fates; her bustle full of papers, is trying on her skates, Did Not Want to Show Her Ticket. Pittshurg : A very pretty Little country maiden was just in the act of bourding a train at the union station, when a PR R, brakeman stretched forth his strong right arm and said: Please lot me see vour ticket.™ The lady turned red in the face and with an innocent smile answered: “1don’t like to—~but—but—I have a ticket, sir. “Well, well. You must let me seo your ticket and dou't keep other pas- sengers waiting,” remarked the brake- man, a little impatiently. The young Iady placed her foot on the step of the car and drew out from one of her black hose a coupon ticket almost n yard long. “That's it is, siv,” said she fal- tering voice. The brakeman gave the ticket a hasty glance, assisted the young woman to the ear platforin, raised his hat in a polite bow, and was left to blush alone, while the other railroad boys laughed at his expense. “Iwas a brate,” he said. with Fitted for the Married State. “Young man, before I grant your re- quest to marry my daughter do you think that you fully appreciate the great responsibility that will rest upon you? Do you think that you are fitted ar such a burden?” “Yes, sir, I can confidently say that T am. 1 e been practicing until [ ean smell my way to a paregoric bottle the darkest night that ever was created. A Great Lodge Man. St. Paul Globe: ivst Damoe—*“Mrs. Crossly, my husband tells me that Mr Crossly is very popular among the so- ciety zentlemen S ond Dame he is. If Tdo it.my husband is a great k s, he goes down town to lodge about 7 o'clock every night and veturns home to lodge about the same time every morning. Further Experience of Carl Dunder. Detroit Free Press: “Sergeant,” said _Carl Dunder as he softly slid into the Woodbridge street station yester- day. “mebbe I like you to expluin some- thing to me.™ “Lsuppose you have been swindled again. “Vhell, a shentleman comes along twoor three days agomit fur on his ofercont. Vhas I _Carl Dunder? | vhas. All ri M. Dunder, you vhas known all oafer Cleveland, und dev shildrens ery for you. 1gil ten thousand dollar if T_vhaslike you. but dere vhas only one Carl Dunder, Shake, oldt fellow! “And you shook?” “Vhell, doan’ I feel tickled dot some- pody in Cleveland hears of me?’ We haf'some peer, und he tells me dot he lose all his money mit der depot by 1 tief. He doan’ like to see his name in der newspapers, und so he keeps shtill.” “And he wanted to borrow of you, of course?” “Oh, no, 1If I'let him haf ten dollar on his diamond pin he takes him back in two days, Here vhas dot pin. “Worth twenty-five cents,” said the sergeant, after an inspection. “That was a rank swindle. Anything else?” Vhell, dot was curious if I vhas shwindled, pecause dot mans almost cry vhen he talks to me. Dis morning some more stranger comes in, He haf a book und a pencil, und he s leaf dot _package in'der express office ane day longer he vhas soldt for oldt horse. T doan’t get some notice of dot puckage, but he says it vhasa look oufer. It vhas adoilar to pay undI should go oop pooty queek. “And you paid?” “Vhell, if some oxpressman s vhas a dollar how shall T help it?" 1tell dot oxpress company to go mit Texas und keep dot package?” “And 50 you paid und went to the of- fice. +0f course, und dere vha for m “Certainly Anything else? “Yes! sergeant, look on me!” “I'm looking.” “I vhas going home! T go pehind e und take off my coatand shmile. Tn afew minutes a shentleman comes in. Vhas dis Carl Dunder? He vhas. Mr. Dunder, we haf a leedle poll tax on your heud, und you doan’ come oop mit der city hall. Der tax was #1, und you—"" “And what?" *“He vhas a corpse mit hisneck proke, und I goes oafer mit der patrol box und sends for der wagon? Ilike you to come oop mit der boys. 1 dere vhas inquest you can shpeak for me dot s out of my head mit my troubles. Good-pye, sergeant! Look oudt vhen Got bell ring 1 it Can 10 package t. He was a fraud. Some hens vhas on! —~ PERMINT PEF DROPS. Whisky lowers the wman and raises the devil. A question for newsboys—Does your moth- ers know your route A righter of wrongs is as a rule even more poor 1y paid than a writer of poetry. For the past two everything has been at sixes and sevens. But this year we hope to stren matters out. The warden of a state prison great advantage—he always ers where the hair is short, Some poet, who is bound to taken time by forelock has sent us a poem on **Winter Courting.” It is written in o gas metre. A Third ward saloon widow displays the sign M. Q. Whisky.” In this case the ardent initials doubtiess mean, “Kill Me Quick.” i Some of our contemporaries g that in K as there is a posto named “Zero.” Well, what of itY That is nothing. Tt is stated that electricity will put a piano out of tune. Someof the pianos in tow judging from their tone, have been struck by lightuing. The man who imagines that his existence necessary to the movement of the world is generally buried iu a pine coffin without trimmings. A boycott has been instituted against a bakery over in St. Paul. This will probably create the biggest loaf cver known about the establishment, What's the matter with having a “frog cat on a locomotive as well as a “‘cow cateher.” Frogs are more numerous by far than cows on the track. ‘The author of ‘“‘beautiful snow." is un- known; but whoover he wmay be it is evident that he did not live on a corner, and shovel on two sides of his hous A big snake was found in the middle of a solid log that was sawed into the other day It is supposed that the tree grew on the site of an old whisky distillery, Strange how many army out to be und joys one his prison arking Aesertars turn The regulur sorvice ertuin must be to xtent @ fourtain of youth where the man becomes a boy again, F o of American humor listen 1o the gentle dy as she takes up the pitcher of skimur new boarder if he coff nioking destroys thic meigory, says @ s milk and have ere asks the m ia his cutist, and that statement finds strong corrob oration in the fact that many people whe :mnkv forget to buy their own cigars and to. bacCo. Ono reason why a dude will brella with him him when the weather does not demand it has apparently been over Tooked. It is because he doesn't know enough to come in when it rains. Four sheep, a hog, und ten bushels of wheat sottled an lowa breach-of-promise suit whe's 25,000 damages w demanded, The law yers got all but the hog, which died before they could drive it away Said Brown Ihe d quit chewing tobac CACTY AN um- v 1 was married 1 and 1 tell you it was pretty hard on me that day, but'in & day or two 1 was all might.” |, how's that(," *1 commenced chewing again “Now," said old Borewell, after he had given i exhaustive criticism of American authors, “what, in brief, is_your opinion of Howells and James? ok of ‘one and half-adozing of the othor,” answered the friond as hie fell down stuir: “You needn’t order me around sir!" said the washerwoman, “I'm not_the hived girl, 1t's Bridget's place to_look after the milk. I'm the laundry ludy.' hat doosn't seare e, said the man. “I'm the milk gentle- man and I'm the P, W. G. R. K. of the U. O. G. G and Most Euinent Past (i W. of the Aucient Orderof M. X. Q. 7%, und 1 want somebody to take this milk™’ “Yes, sir," said the whsherwoman meekly, as she went to find a crock - John Alexander Duncan, Yale 1835, of London, England, has made Yale university o wift of $20,000, ““to bo used for its best in- teres's, as the authorities of the university may determine, it Agcountry mimster who had been over- \\'he‘m(‘d by a donation party chose for his text on the following Sunday: “It is more blessed to give thau to receive,” and the amount of pathos he threw into that sermon moved even the choir to te SEIDENBERG'S FIGARD 3: Fa for de, the best clgar ever offer to the public MAX MEYER & CO., 3 fale S b1y Depat. Ve had at retatl of the followtug Henlamre® g denlers: Andorson, A., 2218 Cuming stre Anistield, X 10th. Juning, S0 100 wing & Hun 0, 107 Linke er, W, T80 Do hit, Max, 15th and Harney. 1, 0t and Vinton, 12 Farnam it o Farnam, b and Capiti oo 16t and Davenport, Tanciseo & b Farnai, “rank, M. Cozzens Tlotse, wohint, 1, 414 So, 15th ntscl, AL O and Howard ntlenian, Win, Lake and Saunder Havana Chizar St ‘arnam. Hammond & ¢ 1 Novth 16th, ih and Lake, 0 South 10th. vans, 113 Sannders Co. 17th' & Dov & 18th & Cuming, Hughe: Kuhn Kuhn, Kinsler, 1 Leod, ELM., T4 nd & Christin larles ayd Saundery. 2. )., 70 Southh 1ith, South 10th, L (., Saunder § cott'& Co, 15th wnd Vinton, I, 1423 Saundors, 8outh Omah 2713 Cuming. South Omah: 1017 Farnam, South 15th, uth Omala, Saunder h and Corby., i, South Omaha. 16t and Nicholas. H., 2812 Lonvenworth, 3th and Howard, 16th near Vinton, ith and Manderson, urd, Ho Rogers, Frank; | Sweene E ors. 1., 16th and Webster Decatur, Wilrot, . 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