Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, January 15, 1888, Page 9

THE OMAHA DAILY BEE: SUNDAY JAN ‘SOME TALKS' ABOUT WOMAN. Traln Girls May Earn a Living— ‘When Women Envy Men. THE CHEERFUL WORKING GIRL. The Maid of the Future- Handsome Women i Mexico-Mrs. Bur- ton's Good uck — A ‘Whistler, My Northern Girl, From the Spanish of Mendoza D' Arma, My northern girl has an eye for blue Where the violet its skyborn colors show, «d with azure soft and true And her brow is white as the stainless SH0W, The rose tint flashes sublimely red On her dumask cheek in its maiden glow, Where alternate pink and crimson spread In playful blushes that come and go And her rosy lips are fairer far Thun the pearly gates of heaven ajar. ‘The blue in her ey Her queenly brow is supremely fair, She rivals the moon in her home of light Enthroned in the realms of upper air. The queen of the night has no hund of grace, Dimpled and white, like_the august ma And no smile that plays o'cr a_queenly face, Glowing alike in the sheen and shade ON! say! is there anything half so sweet As her lips where the doors of Eden meet? serenely brigl Train Girls to Barn a Cornhill Magazine: Did g childhood the same business training as boys, and were it understood in all families th no eredit, but rather a discredit, for women to hang helpless on the men, instead of doing their own work. and, if necessary, earn- ing their own living, I helieve fhat so- ciety would not be the worse, but the better, for the change. Men would find out thé more they clevate women the greater use they wet out of them. If, instead of a man working himself to death for his unmarried ighters, and then leaving them ignominiously de- pendent upon male relations, he edu- euted them to independence, made them able both to maintain and proteet them- selves, it would save him and them a world of unhappine: They would ¢ to be cither the rivals—a very hopeless aythings first and of men, and be- ginally intended, the co-mates, equal yet different, each sex supplying the other's deficiencies, and therefore fitted to work together, and apart the good of the world. What this work should be individual eapacity alone must decide. When Womel vy Men. San Francisco Reporter: There are just three things for which a woman envies o man, The first is o secret not 10 be told, the second is the ability and power to g0 out whenever he feels like {t at night, and the thivd s his being able to get along without rain-sonked petticoats slapping against his heels, A man’s legs always look so comfortable in wet weather, [Te puts on heavy shoes, i socks. turns up his trousers and strikes out. A woman on her miserably clothed supporters has thin stocking; tight ts and good-for-nothing sun- dals. y femgle geese even cling to white skivts, which are just so much aper in the rain, Then” out she goes. 8 e i i e from heels to keees are saturated. Her skirts are muddy and draggled, and he temper is ruflled and cat bins. If she chance, us often happens. into a pud- dle, her thoughts, if not her langy grow smoky. * * % Ifwe could only wear the literal as well as the figur: tive trousers, especially in rain weather, we might keep i sweet-tem- pered as the opposite sex—are flatter- ingly supposed to. iving. Sceranton Trath to find a mor ful picture than the bright-eyed, alert, intellizent working girls one meets on sidewalk or in street car till these chill, murky mornings. hurrying to their various avoeations in. stord or v, or wherever employ ments awaits ithem, to keep hand and brain busy during the day. At the hour when the fair head of the rage fash- ionable beauty is still chained to her pillow by slecp and langour, the result of late hours and social ple S oft v peated, the wide-awake working girl is astiv, preparing to join the great army of toilers that fill the day with the fruits of labor. The working girl is a study as she hurries to her tasks. The ficree jealousies that often burn their way into the heart of the fashionable world have no place in_her pure breast, and there is no deceit in her smile. Like Longfellow’s *“Villag Blac smith,” she wks the whole world in the face,” and a heiress might envy the luster which shines through her candid eyes, What trying tasks await her we know not; neither do we know how wea she will be when she returns home in the evening from her toil in store or fa . where brains and nerves and patience are often tried so hard; but th know, that the world is brighter for her *“good morrow,,’ and that there is promise for the mal hood of the future in her clean heart and spotless life. When we think of these things and of the struggles that are so often woven into the life of the working girl by avavice and greed of some emplo who seem to think that women horn to work hard for poor pay, we can- not help wishing that there” were more justice in the world’s workshops, We R L T R T who have bridled the forces of nature and made them subservient to the to of & child, but no inventor has yet peared above the horizon with quate discovery to compel money grabbing employers to do to the working girls, Wherever we find them well treated the result of kindness on the part of those they work for, but good treatment ought to be theirs by right,and their lives ought not to be bruised by injustice, no matter who may employ them. Tt is not ¢ wholesome wsh and ustico The Servant Maid of the Future The hired girl had arisen from her luxurious couch and was standing be- fore the dressing table in her boudoiv arranging her long. hadly beaten gold- hued tresses in a fashion which would tend to keep them from falling too nu- merously into the succulent prepara- tions of the culsine department over which stic reigued supreme. Upon the marble-top before her lay o programme of the Coach Gentleman and Hostler's grand ball, which she had attended the eveuing before. She picked it up and lessly glanged over the names of rtne James E, Quine, C. A, 3 ver, Samuel Hansom, Peter Herdie (his X mark) and dozens of others who had sought her hand in the mazy the evening before. Which didshe for the most? Suddenly up the stairw a voice floated softly. She started up, and there was a strange, megneing light in her eye. Again the words came distinetly to'her ears from the unseen speaker below, but she an- swered not. Rising from the luxurious divan upon which she had thrown her- self, she waited, but the \'oin‘u \li\lhnnl ome again, Ton minutes later there o M ock at the door. She rose ud received from a liveried page 4 li- tately scented note. It veed: ‘‘Mvs, Wealthy's compliments to Miss De Cook, and asks if she may expect a few mo- ments’ assistance in the preparation of dinner at 6" Turning languidly to an clegantly carved escritoire, the maid dashed off the following and handed it to the waiting boy, who bowed and van- 1shed: **Miss De Cook's compliments To Mrs. @Vealthy and thincks she is tu frech and askin more than the contra calls fo But will give Mrs Waealth audience At 5:80 and Consultand adv regardind the repast. though Miss ¢ Cook is much ongweed to assist in - pre parin it.” Handsome Women Scarce in Mexico. Correspondence of the Philadelphia Record: Whoever comes to Mexico in search of female beauty is linble to mee with disappointment. for though the dreamy ¢ and raven haiv of the Castilinn-Mexican type is very attrac- tive, the truth isone sees more hand- some women on the streets of any north- ern city in half an hour than he can find ina year at the Azte ital, One reason for this is aristocratic dames and damsels seldom go upon the streets at all except in their elosed carriages, and women of the low classes are too hard unkempt to retain beauty ¢ early youth. Inthe exclu- les of the Mexican upper-ten- some very beautiful wowen. The wife of President Diaz has claims to that distinction, and so have a few others in official circles. loveliest girl Mexico—indeed, the 1 ever saw—is igene Bazaine, daughter of that notorious Frenchman (now dead, I believ o0 figured here 80 conspicuously during the brief empire of Hers s o romuntic Bazine, you know. was the v iy of Nujpe . when the latter tried to keep the Austrian adventurer upon a hrone in Mexico, and marshaled the French troops in this country in the name of the French emperor, till the fortune of Maximilian began to wane. Marshal Bazaine took possession of pulatial residence in the City of Mexic and levied tribute off the richest hac endas, 1 he fell in love with a beautiful Mexicana, Senorita de Ia Pens, whom he married and who bore him a son and a danghter. When he . 1 exile in Spain his son joined 1is yet an officer in the Spun- army; hut the Mexican wife and daughter have always vemained he All his onece vast possession w fiseated hy Juarez and theliberal party. s0 that the income of Mrs, and Miss B zaine dingly limited.0They live i v quict Way, on the north side of din,in afine substantial cas: ich the government has generously given them: bu v of the deepest gloom surrounds and overshadows it. Eugene is only twenty years old, combining all the best teaits of her French father and Mexican mother, and is well educated, ountry. where wre supposed to need no higher rning than a little knowledge of mu- embrodiery and the lives of the o8 in the city of rettiest creature Mrs. Burton's Good Luck. The dispateh from the San Diego in the Examiner announceing that Mrs. Burton has established her right to 100,000 acres of the Esenada de Todos Santos in Lower California,crentogswn- siderable sur It w a some of Mrs. Burton’s land nand about the town of, much of which property ha¥ 1 by the International company to private parties. The International company of Mexico elaims to own all the peninsula of Lower California between the United States boundary line on the north and latitude 28 on the south, comprising about 10,000,000 acres, The most of this land is described on the map of the company as follows: “Pine land,rc volling, furming land, salt and clay, s salt lake, wet salt land d 1t land. marsh, sandy lonm,sandy.” and o forth. The town of Ensenada, situated on the ent-shaped bay of Todos Santos, had on May 1 last a population of about 1,400, Mrs. Burton isa Mexican lady who married Captain Burton, an American soldier who took partin the Mexican war. He was eaptain of company I of third artille nd General Sherman was then fivst licutenant of the same cor pany. At the time Colonel Stevenson’s regiment arvived in California Burton s licutenant colonel of the regiment. After the Mexican war Burton went back to his regiment and was made majo Mrs. Burton has en fighting her claim in the supreme court of the Mexi- can republic for the past e n years, Her claim takes in the whole town site s , and the present emoney value of her possessions on the peninsula is estimated in spot cash quotations at 100,000, Burton has on and a S The son is residing in San Diego and the daughter is the widow of Miguel Pedrorena, who mpanied ccretary of State William . Seward in his journey through Mexico Mrs. Shaw, the Whistler. w York Sun: In her semi-profes- sional position as a whistler at high class concerts, private musicales and society entertainments, Mrs. Shaw, de- spite all the interest her art has ex- cited, is practically without imitators, as she is wholly unrivalled. Tt is not alone that she i the possessor of a unique and pleasing gift of music mak- ing. It is the further fact that she is industriously and with infinite pains de- veloping this gift under a system of .-i-,vi.i ining.” The high standard of her original pnrpose has not been lost sight of for an instant. On the con- trary, any deviations from it have been in the dir nd with the growth of her power taste and test and requirements have grown with equal pace. When she made the cour- ageous plunge of selecting as a voeation the very novel one of whistling in pub- lie, she was a sufficiently remarkable woman. For she proposed to make of whistling an art that would stand or fall upon the plamn and simple question of musical merit. She relied upon no adjuncts of variety show mimicry or trickery; she depended not upon society favor or managerial booming. It is wholly through her individual faith in the excellence of what she had to offer that she has become a unique figure in the amusement world—a world whose favorites reap rich rewards that are al- veady within her grasp. A “wonderful feuture accompanying Murs, Shaw’s appearances is the enthu- siusm aroused among her listeners by her work. As u stimulator of literary work it hns been very prolifie, and the attempts to do ljllall\'l' to the whistler in daughter words will really enrich the language. HONEY FOR THE LADIES, Leap till the last armed male expires; Leap for husbands and for sires Lcan for a chance to build the fires, Fair onés throughout the land! For our girls—Look before you leap year. Honey ina little water is excellent to smooth’the hands. Washing in cold water when overheated is a frequent cause of distiguring pimples, Twenty-six new woman suffrage societies have been formed in Kansas sinee October 1. Eveéry time a lady physician calls on a gen- tleman patient she shows plainly that she's Mr. culling. A woman uever reaches middle life; she is always young until she gets old enough to boast of her age. Black veils induce tan and white ones in- | #10,000 per year on flowers for h | women, ARY 15, 1888.—~TWELVE PAGER jure the eves, so gray and ‘blue should be Chosen, even if they are not 8o becoming. Turquoise, opals and pearls ure in high fashign.s St® ouis girls claim they are not as bad as they are painted. Phabe Couzins would make a good ernor of No Man's Land. Mrs. Whitney, it is said, spends about ¢ home Much undyed wool underwear is seen in the shops, und it is accounted very whole- some, Two old ladies who have@ussed three score and ten recently took their first look ata lo- comotive at Blakely, Ga. Mixtures of silk and_wool and “silk-fin- ish * goods in wool and cotton are the note- worihy features of the coming Spring sea- son The British postofiice service employs 3,000 Competitors for places have to be and under twenty Gov- over eighteen years of age. The roughness which arises from exposure to the air may be remedied by sponging the wee with cqual parts of brandy and roso is a rage at vresent for fancy jew- in fine gold and silver, both plain und ox- The duiuty patterns are wholly T'he ribbed wool underwear that fits like a glove is chosen in pink or blue, as white so s00n becomes yellow unls one has the pearl of laund “Currency green” is a new shade, the tint of freshly-printed five-dollar bills, 'and can only be worn by the white-skinned blondes who also have color. Never put kid gloves upon little children. It is simply barbarous. In winter woolen mitts are good and sensible, with lislc thread for moderate weather. Suid Lucretia Mott, when asked how sho manuged to ne ve uny trouble with ser- never usk them to do anything 1 hey won't do. A woman in Belfast, in_response to all in- quirics as to what she wanted for a Christ. mas present, said she wanted a calico apron. Stie ot forty-one of them, No man’s character Howells, “until he has been woman he lo Generally doesn’t have to wait long, Louisa M. Al cuses literary ludies of SSNESS N business ma ters, The brains, she remarks, that can earn moncy can take care of it. ge thing, time you draw a_breath Mrs. ones— Well, T ain® breathing on that account.” he women of Paris have adopted for the winter scason o waggle in their waik. The art of waggling gracefully in furs is being taught at the best dancing schools. In underear fine French flannel is now made up as chemises and drawers for all who incline to stoutness—as the bulk of an extra garment of percale is thereby avoided. Silk stockings again mateh the gown in i slippers are made of the dress satin’ with buckles of Rhinestone in_the bows, orclse a confection of beads and luc A bevy of Indian_girls from Alaska have been brought to this_ country to be educated and accomplished, the object being tosend them buck at a future time as civilizing in- flucnces. The Baroness Burdette-Coutts tukesa deep interest in the poorof Londor and is at_the head of a scheme for providing workshops furnished with sewing machines for needy sewing girls. Gay and pretty corsages made of the wide Roman and Persian sash ribbons arc worn by young ladies to brighten up dark wool dresses of Cashmere, Henrietta cloth, and toilets of black fuille. Velvets and moire are now made into petti- coats as well us satin. They are flannel-lined, cut with o yoke without jacket and adjusted by drawing strings, and have a flounce or three ruttles the bottom, Dancing gowns are made just to clear the floor, und have low, slecveicss corsages, cither round or_pointed, draped about the top with crepe de chine or lisse, lopping to the left, and continued below the waist. Handsome skirts for winter wea 'd improvement on the heavy quilted skirts of tormer years, are made of striped or plain silk, sotin or plush, lined with flan- nelor silesia, and bordered with a plaited flounce, The new zephyr ginghams impor early to be is formed,” says tricd by the the man Mirandy; ever sonebody dies gomg to stop ade- cd thus ic up for summer during the quict of Lent and early spring are now on the merchants’ counters, und are more ele- want and costly thun any colored cottons pre- viously seen. Cheviots in cool natural gr: fine he one pattern, ar mand by refiued women of conservative taste. Mixtures in blak and white shepherd's and eross bars promise to be in special ud. ris un_excellent cosmetie. To it is due v of English con i those who live in bot and _dry must be doubly careful o guard aguinst their desiceating effect if they would escape the i mummics. Southern women, who, before the war, had little fancy for Work, are now taking a u interest in the problem of carning a livelihood and are willing to make them- selves Independent of masculine aid when- ever opportunity offers. smbroidery without soap on the soiled parts, with soft water and sct for twelve n sunshine, then rinse in clear water, pull out each pumt with the fingers and pin upon @ pillow or sheet upon the carpet to dry No lady can tell onc of my plush sacques from real sealskin without rubbing her hand over it,” is the advertisement of a Jersey City merchant, and most of the ladies of that city talk to each other from a distance of six They don't allow any chance for rub- A young lady living up town received a special delivery letter. — The messenger handed her the book to sign for it. She took the book, and instead of writing her signa- ture she wrote: “Dear John: Glad to hear from you. Come Sunday night.” She had answered the letter, © Many gowns seen at the ope trimmed skirts made of satinand moire stripes about an inch and a half wide. Over this is drapery made by alternate stripes of moire ribbon of the same width, between each of which is inserted strips of gauze if the dress is colored, and lace if it is white, The “high art” crdze in London and Paris has about done away with the tight slecve, in i vm had’ quite the effect of a sau lough it is questionuble if some of , slashed and puffed affairs that not even more of monstrositics, for all they mediweval. After many trigls and many failures, ufacturers have at last found a fast black dye for cotton and lisle hosiery, a dye which contains no inju material and will not stain or crook in the least, It is guaranteed to withstand contin- ued washing with soda and soup, Very beautiftl Heurietta cloths are lately imported with small designs woven in their exquisite surfaces in tinted silks, tiny pink rose-clusters on cream white grounds, pausies in silk and velvet on pale mauve surfaces, jasmine and jonquil blogsoms on background of delicate chamois or apricot,and pure sno: white buds on peachi-blow and pale green. The first woolens imported by merchants for dresses for carly spring are Henrietta cloths in silk andwool; ali wool chuddahs; cawel’s hairs and Scoth cheviots of silken quality and feather weight, Theseare warm enough for the coolest spring days, though much lighter in weight than the winter goods now worn. Fur-trimmed bonnets make their appear- ance at this season of the year, and for this purpose sable, beaver and black Persian lamb are much used in borders, in Yoops for trimming, in tabs on the crown and in minia- ture heads set about in the trimming. These are seen alike in both bonnets and turbans of velvet or of the soft piece felt, The new polonaises shown for spring are quite similar in their straight lines and se- vere effects to the Directoire coats of several seasons ago. There is no drapery; the skirt of the polonuise falls in classic lines, but a hanffant appedrance is given to the “dress improver” worn benosth, which takes the place of the extrancous drapery recently used for the same cffect. Boston Young Lady -“Don't say ‘vase,’ Polly; the word is pronounced ‘vawze.'" Country Cousin—*Certaiuly, dear. Well, as I was saying, I went down town to buy some lawze to trim my hat, and I walked at such a rnww that people must have thought I was n for & rawze,and when I got to the storemy fawze was as red as fire. Do correct me when I say anything countrified, won't you, Anastawzia."” have SPARKLING GEMS OF JEST. Song of the Keeley Motor—Apoth- esis of Muscle. THE REVOLVER UNNECESSARY. Wanted a Name—~Little Ah Sid--Her Bustle Was Bare—An Old Man's Sorrow-Bits of Humor. Song of the Keely Motor Man. Boston Yankee Blade, I've a deep mysterious power and an occult “etheric™ force That shall rattle thro' the galaxy and shake the universe, That shall haul the Bolar System like a mighty train of cars, Crack the ridge-pole of creation and shake down the polar stars. A ten million engine power in my ctheric va- por floats, That will shake the conktellations if my Mo- tor ever motes. Ritcha belt of my invbntion round the axis of the earth, And a ‘vibratory sympathy® ‘will speedily £0 forth That will start the earth rotating and no power its course can stop Spinning thro the consteliati etary top, And scare the trembling Pleinds like a herd of frightened gouts, Shake the rafters of Creation if my Motor ever motes, And I thiuk ‘twill more directly in about a < or twoy o subscribe another million to put the matter thron' Just a paitry miltion dollars will secure what 1 seck, And I'll sét my Motor moting by the middie of next week So hand in your prompt subscrivtions, cash or promissory note And you'd all be Goy Motor ever mote 1f my Moter ever mote 1f my Moter ever motes, All bo Vanderbilts and Rothehilds if my Mo- tor ever motes! like a plan- ds and Astors if my The Revolver Unnecessary. Chicago Tribune: A gentloman was conversing with an Idaho minister whom he happened to meet on a rail- road train, “You have been preaching in the west for several years I understood you to say. did T not?” he inquired s, for the last twenty y plied the minister. “*You know,” continued the eastern man, “how we sometimes read of minis- ters in your country frequently, having to go into the pulpit with a revolver to use in maintaining order in a turbulent congregation. Is there anything in it?” *Oh, yes, I have known ministers to do it, bu T consider it entirely unneces- re- my idea, too.” yes: yes, altogether unneces- returned the preacher, *Be- seemed to me in very poor taste for'a minister of the gospel, preaching peace on earth and good will toward man, to go around tied to a hip cannon. Yes, u gun is wholly uncalled for,” continued the good man, as he took the roll of sermons in his left hand and reached down with his right and xtracted a fourteen-inch knife from boot legs **yves, wholly uncalled fors give me this bowie in my boot-leg and a good pair of brass kpuckles and a hymn book in my coat-tail pocket and T will carry the gospel to any man that ever looked through a collar! The shooting iron has had its day as a method of evangelization.” The Apothesis of Muscle. Utica Observer. From l!lu- fartherest point of the old Land's Inc To the house of John o’ Gr From the fogiy banl of t ggish Thames ers of Britan’s sons, rong from every throat. From the royal home of the Prince of Wales And the hut of the Cornishman, “From the gilded hut of Londoners And the den of cach thieving clan, Comes & note of praise for one truly great, For our slugger, Sullivan. what a change from the good old days n our Lowell, then the pet Of the charmed circle, the upper ten, The aristocratic Was the favored guest at every feast, And the pride of all he met. Now he weeps alone in his Be And bitterly mourns his fate, While Lie envies him on the British shore bidding princes wnt. is done, for to Englishmen is great, ton home, Muscle alc Wanted a Good Name, n Franeisco Post: *Mister Editor,” said a suburban granger, with clover burs in his pants, “cun you loan me a Mexican newspaper?” plied the editor; **do hen what do you want it for?” “Well, veplied the granger, cheerily, T've got 400 aeves of alkali hog wallows in San Bernardino and a right smart liar for a partner, and I thought, as the land wasn't good cnough to graze sheep, if Tcould geta good Spanish name for it I'd start a boom town.” Little Ah Sid., San_ Francisco Wasp. Little Ah Sid Was a christian kid A cute little cuss, you'd declare— With eyes full of fun And & nose that begun Right up to the roots of his hair, Jolly and fat ‘Was this frolickome brat As heplayed through the long summer And braided his cue As his father used to In China land, far, far away. Once over a lawn Thut Ah Sid played on, A bumble bee flew in the spring— * “Melican butterfly Said he. with winking eye: ,Me catchee and pull off um wing.” Then with his cap He struck it a This innocent bumble e-bee— And put its remains In theseat of his jeans: For a pocket there had the Chimee, Down on the green at the little sardine, In a style th at was strangely demure, And$said with a grin That” was brimful of sin: S‘Me mashee um butterily, sur Little Ah Sid ‘Was only a kid, Nor could you expect him to guess What kind of a bug He wus holding 80 snug In the folds of his loose-fitting dress. a! Kiyi- Sid cried, as he Rose hurriedly up from this spot; SKiyi! Kum-a-kam! Dam um Melican man— “Um butterfly belly heap hot!" Her Bustle Was Bare, Young Mrs. Russie ‘Went to her bustle, To get her fine diamends hid there; But, sad to relate, Her sorrow was great, That she found that her bustle was bare, ‘Where Was His Pistoi? Texas Siftings: Several Texans were listening to one of their number read- ing about the fight between Kilrain and Jem Suiith, Ameng the listeners was an old frontiersmen, who was knowa 1o be very easy on the iri . He was very much interested in the reading, and frequently interrupted the reader. What!” he gasped in surprise; “knocked him down again?” The reader sutisfied_the old man's b samples that curiosity and proceeded with the read- ing. “What's that! Hit himin the chest?" “Yes, hit him a terrible left-hander in the chest.” “Well, T declare. Whar the other feller's pistol? was the An O1d Man's Sorrow. “Alas!" the old man sighed, with bended head, “What brilliant and fled; “How have I yearned for fame, and o'er and o'er ‘-sm-nl« sleepless nights in searching burning ore, “And now in weary age, T simply find “Folks say, he is @ mau of brilliant mind, “*He's decply read in philosophic books, ‘And mathematics with its turns crooks, him is like a volume all unsealed, 41t pagres opencd and it's: truths revealed, ** “The books hie writes are read by learned men, “Who wait impatient while he wields his pen.’ “But this, alas, no music has for men, “When ater men on every hand 1 see. “Oh! why on knowledge did I waste my all, “Instead of learning how to play base ball.” Superintended the It was lately said of a self-sufficient reformer in words that many persons might well lay to heart: And so every day b Advice which h And his wife took in To keep things a-going While he superintended the earth. ~[The Churehman, dreams of life have come and Earth. gave the Almighty Remarkable Presence of Mind. Pat Hoolihan, while slating the roof of one of our highest buildings, lost his footing and fell. Over and over he went until within twenty-five feet of the pavement, when he struck atelegraph wire and managed to grasp it, fi with one hand, then with both. *Hold on for your life, P’at!™ shouted his fellow-workmen. and the bystanders rushed to the nearest dwelling fora mattress, Pat held on for a few seconds, when suddenly, with a cry of “*Shtand from under!™ Tie dropped and lay senscless in the street. Whisky was used, and Pat finally came to. ‘When asked why he did not hold out longer. he feebly replied: *0i wuz afraid the woire ‘ud break.” He recovered. Seen in a Street Car, Philadelphia North American: A conductor who forgot and yanked the fare register five times in a ‘vain effort to stop the car. A driver who seemed to think he was a kind of American Juggornaut. A newshoy who nearly broke all the bones in his body in getting out the door when he saw the conductor had spied him. A frantic passenger who called *Here, boy!” at every street corner he passed until at last he got a newsboy alongside the car and bought a paper. A man whose feet seemed to be the biggest part of him, A young lady who sank into a seat with a half-injured air, and never once thought to say **Thank you to the old gentleman who gave her the seat. Seventeen two-legged males that sat still while a lady with a child in her arms tried to hold it and hang on to the strap at the same time, A six-yeur-old youngster who got on the seat with his knees and energetie- ly wiped his muddy shoes on the clothes of the passengers at each side of him. A drummer who insisted on opening his box **just to show the finest line of r on the road.” A man who hailed from Squeduncand asked at every corner, “Air this ere Second street?” Twenty-seven passengers who swore and thirteen more who felt like swear ing because the cable stopped and they had 1o zet out and walk after they had paid tnciv faves. An old lady on a cable car who asked in afrightened way: “For massy sakes! Where's the horses?” Aman who had dyspepsia and i sisted on telling his symptoms to eve body who would listen. - IMP E rrot that prays. Send 'v_among the countless fane and fallen of his race A church in Kansas has been sold for side- walk ta The members probably objected to walking in a straight and narrow path. The only pulpitin iRowan county, Ky., is now vacant, and furnishes an excolient” field for any minister who wishes to display his skill in making drop-shots with a riffe. An English country rector 0 live on §1.20 a week. W hope that no immigra- tion act will prevent his coming to America. There is a large field for such clergymen ne three sons were named m, Ham and Jupeth, Shem went to Asia, Japeth went to Jaffa and Ham to Cincinnati, This is the reason the latter city believes firmly in the Baconiun theory. At Lignon, Ark., the pastor of a colored Baptist church, showed so much attention to the sisters of his flock that the male mem- bers requested him to resign, and then tarred and feathered him and ran him out of town. Fourteen convicts at Sing Singexperienced a change of heart one da nd the warden at once ordored every one of them locked up in strong cells. He says that “‘getting religion” in state prison always means some new dev- iltry, in six days'" said be,” repiicd the have been done by public ofticials were a good from what they are in these “This world was made the parson. “That may scoffer but it couldn’t contract, unless deal differcn day Alittle daughter of an emingnt physician in Lewiston, Me., came in one day 1o her mamma with, *Can God do everythiug?" “Yes, certainly.” 1 He do everything? anmat’ *Why, hely to be sure. *Well, can He gapé with his mouth shut An old colored preacher, not very versed in reading the scriptures, on the words: “*Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging,” as follows: “Wine is a mocca- sin, strong drink is a rattiesnake, and who- sooyer, is deceived thereby, is not wise,” A teacher in the south who has 2 class of bright little darkies, was recently explaining to them the sermon on the mount, and one of them said, with regard to the “meek inherit- ing the earth,” “Dey ain’t gwine to get that carth lest dey pay for it.”” A colored troupe acted the “‘Passion Play’ at Athens, on Wednesday night, in lud €rous costume The negro representative a shroud, while the devil bed in black, with cow’s horus on his During the last act these two got into a fight, and his satanic majesty, being the victor, called upon the audience to be- come his disciples. A youngster of eight was taken to a ser- vice in a Roman Catholic church, having pre viously been warned to leave all his pl things at home and be very quiet while in church, As they left the building he said in an injured tone: “Mamma, you told me I mustn't play in church. What was that lady next to me doing with marbles, then! She had a whole string of white alleys.” Here is a story that is told for a fact in the circles wherein Colonel Robert G. Ingersoll moves. He entered a church, sauntered up the middie aisie and coolly took his seat in the corner of one of the finest pews, A few moments later the owner of the pew, & pom- pous, purse-proud,but orthodox man, marched with telling strides to its acor. He seemed slightly discontented, at seeinga stranger in occupation. He seated himself and taking & memorandum buck from his pocket he wrote, 1 pay 5,000 a year for this pew sir!” Coolly taking his pencil from his pocket, without changing ls position, the man of the silver tongue wrote underneath, 1 don't doubt your word, at all, sir, 1v's@ad—n good pew." well rud THOMPSON, BELDEN & 00, JANUARY PRICES ON Comforts, Blankets and Flannels January Reductions on Comforts. 65¢ to 50c, 85 to 70c, #1 to 70c, $1.25 to$l. $175 to $1.40, %2 to #1.65, § 5 5, to 82,40, 275, $4.00 to JANUARY REDUCTIONS ON WHITE, RED & GREY BLANKETS 5 to $1.00, to $1.90, $2.50 to $2.15, $2.75 to $2.25, §3.00 to 50, $4.25t0 $3.75, $4.75t0 $3.90, $5.00 75, $6.75 10 $5.75, $7.00 t0 86,00, $7.75 to 86,50, §9.50 50, $12.00 to $10.00, $15 to $12.00. I~ 26,0010 $5.25, $6.50 to #5 o §7.50. $8.75 to $7.95, $10.00 ta JANUARY PRICES ON FLANNELS January prices on Plain Red Flanuels, 18¢, 20¢, L 80¢, ic, 40¢, and 50¢. anuary prices on Red bhe, 60, B5e, Juanuary prices on Blue Twilled Flannels, 87ie, 45¢, and 50¢c. January prices on Plain White Flannels, 10¢, 12¢, 15¢, 20¢, 50e, 55¢, 60c, 65¢, 70, 80¢, $1.00 and $1.20, two last named warped. January prices on Plaid and Striped Flannels 1e, 17¢, 20¢, 80¢, b0c. We are sole agents in Omaha for Flannels 29 and 84 inches wide at 50¢ and $1.50 por pard, We cannot say too much in the praise of these Flannels. We know they are the best Flannels made in the United States. We will send you samples of them gladly. NAPKINS. Twenty-five dozen 4 all Linen Napking, worth uary $1.25 per dozen. One Hundred Marseilles Quilts. Full 11 4 and worth $1.50 each, special price for January $1. We like nothing better than to have you ask to sce the bargains that woe advertise, whether you wish to purchase or not. Twilled Flannels, 25¢, 80¢, ic, 40¢, 45¢, 50¢, 28¢, 85¢, 45¢, numbers are silk 5¢, 40c and ieorge Merritt & Co.’s Shrunk Skirting 00, special price for Jan= Our stock of domestics is complete every day in the year, and prices will always be found to be the lowest and qualities the best. THOMPSON, BELDEN & GG, 1319 Farnam Street.