Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, November 6, 1887, Page 13

THE Cloaks! Cloals! Cloaks! SUITSY 0] lAHA DAILY BEE: SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 1887.--SIXTEEN PAGES. SUIESY LADIES’ SUITST We are showing the most complete line SUITS! . of And Ladies’ and Childrens’ Cloaks, Ever shown in Omaha, and at prices that defy competition. We can v;mly give you a long list of prices but by so doing we could give you no idea how large onr stock is or how very There iz only one way to do We will 1to purchase, cheap we are selling goods. and that is to visit our store and sce for )mn‘nclf‘ ghow you with pleasure anl if you do not w you will not be urged to do so, We find that we have too many Jackets and we will quote | | rednetions on these goods— Jackets, reduced from Jackets, reduced from Jackets, reduced from $4 to $2.75. $5 to $3. $8 to $5.50. - THOMPSON, BELDEN & CO,, IN THE FUNNY MAN'S DOMAIN | A Joke's Confossion -A Lawyer's Advice to His Cashier Client. CARAMEL Base Ball 1887—0n a Pullman Car— Lime Kiln Philosophy—The Lawyer's Responsi- Dility. THE COURTEHIP. A Joke's Confession, St Paul tilobe, Tma joke. veled through this giddy world, O'er and o'er again; T'm worn out, knock-kn But in the ring rem I'm a special friend of the journalist, Wiho wins his bread by the wag of his wrist, T'm at, cried o'er, groaned wnd od, ring-boned,blind, laughed scorned I'm mour mll I'm udorned, T'm reformed, Once u week, As 1 sneak "Round the world on my mission of fun. s got a corner on laughter. also filed a claim o brevity. e’ stock of wit is low. Tell things 1 know about The inoffensive mule, Legal Advice. New York Heral Time—Year of our hoodle aldermen trials, 1887; n sum- mer's day, after dark. Plac "loor of h!.lulglll Laced & Cheatemwell’s build- ing: “one light to the right; please ing the bell.” Cashier—What will T do? I'm ruined! T'll be sent to stato prison! Lawyer—What's the matter with you, anyhow? Have you killed someone? Cashier—No, no, no; but I'm short $1,000,000 in my accounts. Lawyer—Oh! is that all? Well, you oughtn’t worry yourself about a little thing like tha Cashier—But I came here for legal advice. Lawyer—Oh! I see. How much do you say you got awny with? Cashier—One million dollars. Tawyor—Ilas the bauk got anything : 000,000, r—Woll, go buck 1 that. But that'll break the bank. then, don’t you one who will have while nise— to-morrow I know plenty to live on like & prine 600, some ro negotinting for \ying 80 per cent, hies: I'll do it.” But who will take care of the $2,000,000 you bid me, as m) legal adviser, to steal? Vi 1 will, of course. And how muck will you be comp you L R ok (P atis aag Lawyer: Oh! ah! yes. I forgotall nbout that. Well, d'yesee, as | take all the risks—and in a matter like this must look out for my fee—I'll keep it all and pay you a regular salary out of it for llm rest of your life. Good night. Oh, by the bye, if you want to sec me to-night, drop iu on mo at the Bar asso- ciation, I'm going to read a paper there on “The Lawyer, Equally with the Judge, Should bé Above Suspicion.” Base Ball, 1887, St. Paul Globe, Thank heaven, it's over, the season s past, Aud our eyes iud our minds get @ surcease at las For tho chill incident to a northern fall as brought 1o u stop the great game of base ball, No more will we rise in the morning and Nor yet in Hu'-'\'\‘nu\-,: Worll hoar tho rude all “Disy All about the great g game of base 8 all.” No more will the doleful, sad taps of the drum Attract our attention as onward they come, With an old spaviued horse that a small boy doth nmu{. Advertising the news—therc's & game of base ball. No more will a voice in the pool rooms de- clare, “Ten dollars on Oshlkosh.” Fau Claire " No more will the suckers all Alull::l;:ke their last cent on game of base “How much for rush in with their No more will the feeling grow strongly in- . se o "Ch-\'n-lnnd lined the ball over the ; Mo Rbaniil' i’ small o ory HEle & hall 1" To the umpire who's running the game of base ball. Nomore will the fiend, exulting exclaim, While trudging along, coming home from the gawme, “Well, the wlpire I'm sure, had & surplus of ull, Ad Just the same, in the game of Laso ball” On a Pullman Car. Passenger: Porter, your insolonce and inattention to your duties are in- sufferable. Perhaps you don't know me Porter: Oh, yes, I knows yo' An’ now yo's de president” ob de roud. 1319 Farnam Street. Tet mo d° I's a prominent member ob de syndi s negoshatin® wif t yo'r ‘tention to de fact dat k w to takin a i Spoctalist of many ye T waneeral Sucked, s LUNG, S, KIS URA it puin‘or hindrance i Ehronte bin o Tnatito treatment of | rod 10F one-Uiird e cust &t our treatment & Pure, Lovels froe 110 w g ant sy Pt Complaats and Crinse o L4ie, EVE AN[I EAR Juversion of the Lds, s PAralysis, Singing A Drum. s of Vital Power, Sleer: Acy. Loss of i sy Toull, 1 itioas, UntE it n uurdon, Satoly, i, ‘HY Con P o ! wncntly it BLOOD AND SKIN b gors, Painain the nml and, Bone -ly,.nn anduinr & Scrofula, i Ot e v B et tation, fres wnd stricily confidantial, Medicine sent free from observation to wll parts of the | nited States, Correspondence receives rompt attention. . N Becomaniod by four eents in stanps. Sond ten cents in stamps for pamphlet and list of ques. tlons upon private. special and nervous dis- ns strictly cash. Call on or address, DR. I‘OWELL REEVES Omahn N United States, with an aggregate attendance of 15,000 students, jere are in ndia 42,000,000 chitdren qu fled by t t only some i are bel m<v educated. mo'gage on de re n’ i’s not pleased | Hon. James W, Bradbury of Angusta, Me., wid de tone yo’ fit to ‘suine me— | the father of the mornal school system in ‘deed I isn’t 2 Now and, is cighty-four years old, but . 3 TR e .| still hale and hearty! gLt UL MRSy Lto Helen Tunt J will dear sir.” Have o cigar, Ll Longfellow Revised, and will Tell us not in mournful numbers "That, the fight for Truth is lost; Miss Charlotte Morril, ry of o & Brooklyn educational institution, may suc- ple of this city 1o be boss For the boodlers are not masters While “the Peonle” still exist, And the rule of oficcholders 15 & thing we must resist. Lives of great men all remind us (T'o adopt a famous rhyme), That 'tis casy to be brilliant, But 'tis hard to be sublime, What we want is houest servants, Men whose characters are strong, Men who hate the sight of bribers, Men who'll war against the wrong. mel C A Ca The beau liest of belles; * and stamm caramels.” she gushed, sweety” and was hushed, for she by Now caramel when too qui sticky pasto t are glued. ‘The lover gry dove, who chev and thought, “If I'r now is my time to poy rtship. bro “like you they ran to cat. o win S0 down ho tumbled on his knees and Liss Jones! Oh.will to his angel it on the sofa by the love- s, he blushod ght some L most awfully!” e just too then ‘at onece her tongue things, and 1 they form a until the jaws ‘watched his hun- :d without a stop, her love d Miss I llesley college. man_ as president of the The latter is to be mar- ried next moath, veland's salary as teacher in s school for young: ladios in New to Lo higier than that | woman, except the stars on Miss Hulda Lundin, the inspectress of needlework in the kton, Cal., primary schools, has carried out & rule by which the boys in' the lower classes share the girls’ teaching in needlework, so that they can hercalter make small repairs for themselves. According to Fraulein Sohr, Ttaly is wak- ing up her turn among the lm(lulw to the necessity for higher female education. A quarter'of a century ago she enjoyed the bad pre- wee of u larger percentage of the untaught ¢ ny other European country. oung ladics uro rutning for scliool who is e utiful, her opponent, so to speak, by distributing I thousand of Lier photographs umong oters. fThe trade school in New York for the training of carringe draughtsmen and me- chunics has passed beyond the experimental stage and is now considered well_established irably meeting the design of tho you—won't I want | originato The school is intended to sup- 1o wed Her heart _agiinust her corset plv s far as possible the place of the old- knocked, *“Yes, ye: 1o tried to say, | fashioned apvrenticeship. but couldn’t—for he Oh, speak to me “donot my love diseard.” But nota word the maid replied. although she struggled havd. Oh, heavens! tell me were locked lover cried, Vassar is about to add all the facilities for physical training to its advantages for mental culture. Ground has b broken for a new gymnasium there, and very soon the excuse of the Harvard oarsmen, who exblained that the women stood first in the clusses because they had nolhing else to think about, will be ‘yes' or ‘no’—don’t kill me with sus- | removed and there will be the same tempta- pense; if you won't talk.” he screamod, | tion to abandon clussics for athletics sur- ST go and ask a givl with sense,” > | rounding the collegiate young woman that Her perspivation camo in_drops; her tempts her brother from the path of learning, An ancient law on the statute books at s stuclcout with pain; she tried 0 | yijo makes it “the duty of the scnior class tear apart her lips, but couldn’ stand | to inspect the manners of tho lower classes the strain. Then he with dignity arose | and especially those of the Freshmun and glared at poor Miss Joneés, and | class.” . says the Boston Post, laughed a bitter laugh marrow in her bounes. Adieu!” he groaned *‘I've got the that froze the ‘'seems to bo abundant logal excuse for haz- ing.” This is jumping at & most unwar- ranted conclusion. Hizing, as practiced to- day, is car S i ed on, not by the seniors, but by sack,” and started for the door; she | yid Sophomores.” Then, again, it does not grabbed his cont tails, pulled him \mh, improvo the manners of a Freshman to fill then fainted on the floor. *My stars!” | his lungs full of tobacco smoke, make him he gasped, “L've killed her dead! to. But when her tongue, at last burst, with Il be your bridel” It’s two yewr ge bells; now nothing nor even tons of caramels, the maorri will, that dear woman still, Lime Kiln Detroit Free Pr a lawyer will work hs dan he will to convi hilosophy. et a thief, you de loan of his hoe am fishin’ 10 s of & man an’ v skule picnic. scein’ “l(menhvr, dat while de aiverage man will retirn de k'rect change in a he’ll water his business transackshun, milk an’ mix beans wid his coffeo, “Remember, dat all de ne de b de wrinkle: “Rememb of good clothes, and freckl mar. “Remember dat people will neber stop to queshun the truf of any-rumor or vour character, but ‘em dat your gal in 1 affectin’ yeurs to satisf grandmdder de l 5-cent ballet. eadin’ “In disparsin’ to your varus homes,” triangle “remem- | M i v ich | next summer,but will tour Germany instead, d the prosident as the sounded its notes of warning, sdat civility am de grease wh ast to de axeltreoes. ition may k«.‘p your htub an’ irons floatin® aroun’ de leben months in de y'ar, reason will bring in chicken broth kind words in ious fov Toots an’ stairs.” Aun’oblegin’ d let us go The Lawyer's Responsibility. stolen a horse, E “1'se got no family yit. for dat.” L, ,ool. to me to supply you with a ad- ? exclaimed the astonished " lm)La to you an’ de jury, boss,I does for a fac.” ©What kind of stull is that you are just what I says. Mis ef along. So ye sibility dar ‘m restin’ on yer.” EDUCATIONAL. There are about eighteen thousand female students in the difterent colloges in the United States, Therc are 151 " and or on hor threw, while she, a-nod- ding with her hoad, came very slowly untied thunder sound, it's Yes| “Remember dat rder to clur a mur- member dat a naybur who offers ‘round cure do loan of your wheelbarrer. “Remember dat you can’t judge of de s wife by ives of st photographs am retuched, an’ es worked out. r, dat society am made up hungry stomachs, de- ception, heart-uches and mixed gram- ps de wheels of society from stickin’ at- | N1 nayborhood but ‘de same | ul an’ ase you have a run of bil- Somebody wake up Elder keerfully down ‘“‘Have you got any > Anderson. a San Antonio lawyer, of a colored man whom he was appointed by the court to defend, the latter being charged with having I looks to you Matildy Snowball says of I only gets one yeah in de penopotentiary she'll wait fur me,but gets moah, den she is gwine ter marry de n~|-\ first niggah what comes Pes. hu-..,. w luv. @ ‘spon- medical colleges in the crawl under a_tablo on all fours, dash cold water down his back or stand him on his head against the wall. No, there is no ex- cuse for hazing, either in college law, com- mon law_or the laws of humanity. Huzing is barbarity. e MUSICAL AND DRAMATIC. Mavie Van Zandt is to appear in at Nice this winter. Ninety-two people Trving's “Fuust,” with costues, ete. Mrs. Scott-Siddons »d in New York from London last week, and has already be- gun her tow Scalchi_and Tma di Murska and Galassi, Nannetti and Baldini have arvived from Kurope, ate Rammelsberg, of Cincinnati, is known in England as Mile. Rolla, prima donna of the Mapleson opera company. Miss Helen Dauvray is said to contemplate t‘doubling-up” with Mr. Sothern and starring next season as the Dauvray-Sothern combin- ation. Theodore Bjorksten, who was the tenor of the Nilsson company in-1882, has come to New York City to take up a permanent resi- dence as teacher. ‘The most noteworthy dramatic event of the week in New York has been the joint appear- ance of Mr. Joseph Jefferson and Mrs. John Drew in *“The Rivals.” Kate Thayer, daughter of Judge Thayer of New York city, has created a sensation in Parisian musical circles by the compass and beauty of her voice. a | The famous Meiningen company of actors will probably come to the United States in the autumn of 1858, Tt is said that the con- tracts to this effect have been signed. ry Anderson will not go to Australia “Lakme" brought over for ) tons of scencry, and will follow at the Star theater next No- vember under Henry E. Abbey's manage- 0= | ment. James Brown-Pot- 3 h other for the pop- tion in Philadelphia, both being that city at the same time next ter will comy ppr booked January. M. Coquelin begun his season at the Royal theatre, London, on Monday night, when he appeared in the leading character of “Un- Parisien,” supported by a first-class French company. Arthur Sullivan is making an attempt at grand opera. “Mary Stuart” it will be called. The title_pari has boen written for Mme. Albani, who will sing at the beginning of the London season. Max Strakosch's new opera_company i cludes Marie S. Greenwood, Signor Tagli ra, T. H. Perse, W. H. Hatch, Catherine MeNell, Signoe Mania, Profs. Gori and Vol- giti | Elsie Potter, Mme. Dialini and Signor Miss May Robson, of the Madison Sauare, New York, stock company, is a_dsughter of Stuart Robson, now at the Union Squar She is the idol of her parents, and goeson the stage only because she is devoted to the dramatic art, Henry E. Abbey's complete Gerster come pany comprises the Hungarian prima dona, Mume. Hastreiter, Signor de Arma. Carbona, Mme. Sacconi, Nettie Carpeuter, Violinist Sigunor Ferrart and Adolf Neuen- aorft, conductor, ‘The rehearsal of Sardou’s new drama, “La Tosca,"” take plac ery day at the Porte St Martin theatre, where the first performan is to be given on November 15. The plot is laid in Rome, und begins the day after the battle of Marengo. The inter-state commerce business isdoing away with ordinary scemery. Flat wings SUITS. MENS' SUITS AT 5. MENS' SUITS AT &6, MENS' SUITS AT $7.50, MENS' SUITS AT $0. MENS' SUITS AT 810, MENS' SUITS AT $i2.50. MENS' SUITS AT $13.60, MENS' SUITS AT 815, Also higher grades of nobby 4-button cutawiy (rocks and ral line of worsted £ults from ¥ up. gen cheviot suts in ks, us well us & Y OTTJ Need a new suit or an overcoat now,and if you will look at the prices quoted in the upper corners of this advertisement. You will be nearly convinced that OVERCOATS. MENS' OVERCOATS AT 84, MENS' OVERCOATS AT MENS' OVERCOATS AT MENS' OVERCOATS AT $7.60 MENS' OVERCOATS AT 89, MENS' OVERCOATS AT 810, MENS' OVERCOA TS AT 812 MENS' OVERCOATS AT $13.0 ° MENS' OVFRCOATS AT $I5. Al80 & large assortment of fur overcoats « fur trimmed - - THE NEW YORK AND OMAHA CLOTHING CO. 1308 FARNAM ST UNDERWEAR. Per Suit UNDERSHIRT & DRAWERS, 80C UNDERSHIRT 8§ DRAWERS $1.26 UNDERSHIRT & DRAWERS. $1.60 UNDERSHIRT & DRAWERS, $2 UNDERSHIRT & DRAWERS, $3 UNDERSHIRT & DRAWERS, $4 UNDERSHIRT & DRAWERS, $5 Also a general line of imported underw ear n Scot h wool, (e merino, it pliin wnd - fancy, and Cartwright & Wartor's d under Wear, Can furuish you with-the best bargains, and when you have once seen their goods you will be thoroughly convinced that they have the very best bargains both as to quality, price and fit. Read the. 4 CORNERS. Childrens’ Department, CHILD'S SUITS $1.60 TO 810 CHILD'S OVERCOATS, $2 TO $10 BOY'S SUITS, 83 TO 815, BOY'S OVERCOATS, $2.50 TO 815 SHIRT WAISTS, 25C TO $I. SINGLE PANTS, 60C AND UPWARD and flics can be carried ina trunk nowada, for the scene I8 painted on thin cloth dyes, and can be tacked to the fra dinary scenes in theaters that are visited. Amon: the most interesting revivals of the fortheoming London musical season will bo that by the Bach choir on March 1 of Pur- cell’s “Dido and Aincas.’ The work was is- sued in 1677 to a libretto by Tate, and in 1840 it was published by the Musical Antiquarian society. John Banvard, now living in Watertown, Dakota, was the first theatrical m. give mutinee performances., The given in Barnum’s museum, at Ann . and Broadway, when Banvard managed that institution for the Scudder estate. Mr. Bar- num bought the museum for &,000, paying for it in installments. Bietz, the composer of “Carmen.” is win- ning fresh laurels through his posthumous opera “Les Pecheurs do Peerles.” It was performed last spring by the Mapleson com- pany in London under the title “Lela,” and came vory near being & fiasco at the time. It has just now been produced in Hamburg with abrilliant cast, under Von Burlow’s direction, und has acliieved a great success. Four piratical opera_companies are doing “Erminie” on the rondunder different names; the Robert Grau Fifth Avenuo Opera com: bany, under the title of “The Two Thieves:" the Templeton Opera company, under the name of *“The Two Vagabond:’ the Wilbur Opei mpany, under the title of “Caddy and Ravvy.” and the Bennett and Moulton S under the name of “Robert compin, Macaire A ballet representling animated pool is pleasing the English public. Fifteen girls clad in bright red appear on the stage in the form of a_pool pyramid. The stage repre- sents a billiard table, and six girls stand at the side each holding a net representing the pockets, The leading dancer, who is cos- tumed in white, scatters the pyramid of Af- teen “reds” and pirquettes among them, sending one and another into the pockets, Jules Barbier, author of the librottes of some of the most famous operas of modern —Meyerbeer's *Dinorah,” Gounod's ," “Romeo and Juliet,’ ‘‘Queen of % Musse's “Noces de Jeanuette,” Thomas’ “Mignon,” Bizet's *‘Carmen,” and muny others—has just been appuinted direc- tor of the Paria Opera comique in placo of M. Carvalho, who the wanager at the time of the fatal fire iast May. Mme. Patti will, after a banquet_tendered to her by the Brazilian minister at London in December, start via Paris, where she will sing once; to Lisbon, where utm will givo eight repres whence she will o at Faster. She holds a guaranteo of _Ll performance in the southern hemisphere, be- sides a share of the reccipts over a certain sum, She hopes to return to Craig-y-nos at the end of next year. Tom Keene and his audience billed for Macon and failing to get_their trunks kept faith with the Macon audience in their busi- ness su It was ‘“Julius Cmsar” Keene borrowed a case-knife und a wig and said let the play go on. It did. pep- por and salt pants, Brutus” glittering’ watch chain, Ciesar's siriped suit, Decius’ old gold yachting shirt, and Flavius’ picnic garb were slightly anachronistic, but otherwise the tragedy moved smoothly, Calphurnia’s bus tle staying in_place and Cavsar dying hard. All of which proves that not, Parisian toilots, but the plain, ungarnished drama is what the public want and will have. e RELIGIOUS. The present membership of ‘the Universa- list denomination in the United States is richest clergyman in the Unitarian (h\ln'll is said to be Rev. Pr. C. A. Busrtol, of Boston, Mass. ‘The bishop of Leon, Mexico, has ordered the clergy to wear citizens' and not ecclesias- tical dress. v The Protestant Episcopal clergymen of New York have organized themsolves into an association to benefit workingmen. Mr. D. L. Moody is expected to hold a series of mectings in Pittsburg, Pa., be- ginning about the 7th of November, There is no trouble in finding feet to fit Henry Ward Beecher'3 shoes. giu! when it comes to finding & head to fit his hat the difi- culty begins. November 13-19 is to be observed as a week of prayer for young men. P’astors are ro- quested to preach & sermon Sunday morn- ing, November 13, suitable for young men. Bishop H. B. Whipple, of Minnesota, has long locks like Buffalo Bill, and knows a great deal about the Indians in his section, He speaks several of their dialects and has a great influence over them. A union between the Presbyterian and Congregational churches in Japan has been proposed, and gone us far as a formal ng went set forth by & eommittee for the con- sideration of the churches. A general summary of the English leyan Methodist conference gives membership of the community with nearly 47,000 on trinl. ‘The min number 2,867, " including probationers supernumeraries, ‘Those who love church, ovder and decency Wes- 1 and says an English papor, were somewhat startled a fow months’ ago upon read- ing of the innovation of a surpliced female choir, reported from Melbourne, This odd freak has reached Eogland, and was in- troduced at a recent harvest festival in York- shire. His Holiness Pope Leo XIIL has deter- mined February, 138, s the time at which the cornor-stone’ of the new busilica of Patrick’s in Rome will be solemnly blesses d and placed. Prominent ecclesiastics from all over the world are expected to be present at this importrnt event, and among the orators on this oceasion will' be the celebrated Arch- bishop Croke of Cashel. Archbishops Carr of Melbourne and Ryan of Philadelphia. Parisians are about to have a museum of religion. The founder of this remarkablo and interesting institution is M. Guimet. The building is in the Greeco-Roman style of architecture, aud with its pillared porticocs, its rotonda, It columns, and it caryatides, looks like an ancient temple, near the Trocade It is situated at & cornerof the Avenue d'Jena. The ed has been constructed after designs which were taken from the last mosaics disce red at Pompeil. The religions of o and Rome are most str , and in the northern gallery'is an atrium_ which is to contain the altar of a Pagan divinity copied from an original model. In the latteral galleries will be exhibited objects appertaining to the re ligions of Egypt, India and China. In a gar- den attached to the building there is to be placed a large conservatory and & pond con- taining plants consecrated to religious uses. VARIOUS KINDS OF FAKIRS. Ono of the Craft Gives Some Inter- esting Information. AN EVANGELIST'S SOFT FAKE The Faith Cure—The Auction—The Street Representativo — Some of the Ways of the Wicked Ones. most successful men of that craft to a BEE representative this morning, “‘and did you ever stop to think under how many different names the ‘fakir’ plies his vocation? Didn’t, eh? Well let me give you a few tips that may cause you to go to figuring. Perhaps the most gelist fakir,” of which Sam Jones is the | most prominent reprosentative. Now,I | am a great admirer of Sam. He can stow away more good solid eash than any man in his line. He and his purd, Sam Small, took $1,400 per week out of Chicago, and their weekly sales of im- mortality delivered in rough packages and tied up with strings of slang, net them from $800 to $1,000 on an average. Pretty good easy money, isn’t it?” “Then thero isthe ‘temperance fakir.’ His methods are similar to those of the evangelist, but he don’t rake in the gleaming shekels quite as fast, But they will averago at from $25 to $50 per ni;:{n.. I am a great admirer of these boys, too, as they get something for nothing, and blow in the profits.” “The ‘faith cure fakir’ is a queer sort of acuss. You see they have to dress like a preacher und wear a solemn ex- qnwhhm all the while. That fake is dying out rapidly 1am afraid,asitdidn’s go every time. Still some of the boys are doing pretty well with it yot. “The *auction fakir’ reprosents a dif- ferent class, inasmuch as it is necessary for them to have confederates, in order to successfully play their game. They wmust have the on-stool bidders in order to catch the *‘suckers.” 'lhej get somo poor devil into the house and put up & fine-looking watch. Then some capper says $5. The_auctioneer com- mences to call, ‘Five I am bid, five [am bid, five Lam bid,” but if the sucker should malke an offer he would change his yell to *Six [ am offered, six I am offered,” ete., and this Lhung«, of one word gives the tip to the cappers. Still there is lots of money in the business, and a good auctioneer commands a good salary. **What kind of a fakir am I? Oh, I am what you call one of the street T get up on the corner and sell nckers something, no matter what will buy if you give them the 1 manage to get enough to eat, drink and wear, and always have a few hundred in my pocket, and that’sall any man could wish for. Fakirs are not the worst people in the world. They as a class sharpand a little la.ck- ing. just a little, mind, in_their resge for the principlos of morality. o first class man in our business one must possess nerve, wit, a ready tongue, have a profound Imowludms of human nature and be the least bit unscrupulous. A man possessing these accomplishments can make more money annually than the biggest lawyer in Ouaha. By the way, what’s your fake?' ‘Newspaper man. “The devill Why didn’t you say so?’ ——————— HOME DECORATIONS, An exceedingly artistic portiere can be made of an ordinary parti-colored grass ham- mol T'wisted iron is considered the proper thing for gas brackets in & good many handsome rooms. Oneof the writing table i hammcred gold. Old thread-lace collars are used to trim tho silk lamp shades that tone down the bright porcelain globes of parlor lumnps. Sandal wood is exceedingly fashionable again, All sorts of ornaments are carved out of it, and its perfume pervades the fashion- uble boudoir. Most interiors nowadays run to “trash. Everybody embroiders and everybody *de china, and a place must be found for the result of their labors, Keep your crockery where it belongs,plates and jugsdonot belong on parlor walls or over ‘parlor doors unless they are really works of art, which precious few of them a cossories of a fashionable s & small penknife encased in Sash curtains of rich but thin materials suspended from a slight end at the top of the window frame answer all the purposes of the ordinary roller shade, and are much prettier to look at either from within or without. Some new wall papers aro 80 handsome, and look 80 much like old tapestries and silic brocades that they furnish the walls of a room by themselves. So, after you have them up don’t conceal them with cheap pictures in expensive frames. The handsomest, one might say the only admussible fire screen, is & thick bevel-edged sheet of plate glass. Anything that hides the glow of the fire from the sight is a palpable blunder, for in these days of furnaces and steam heators. the open fire is used, us & rule, only for decorative purpose: The present taste in bric-a-brao favors low and broad objects, such as shallow bowls of brass and haudsome porcelain, for cabinet and over mantel, rather than the tall. slender and much more graceful vases. Form is it~ tle considored in these wmatters nowadays, they are siuply *'bits of color,” an untrained_eye and hand, “gocs i’ for home decoration, she should' always reserve both sparc money and_energy enough to ut- terly undo Ler own work. Uive & woman, “Yes, I am a fakir,” said one of the ! successful man in our time is tho ‘evan- | When @ woman with artistic instincts, but | | | l | a house, paint pots and brushes, hammor and nails, a collection of ‘‘art stufis” and ‘“‘art pottery,” and the results are apt to be rather frightful, A popular, though utterly false decorative idea is that if an article of ordinary use, such a8 a clock or thermometor, can be made to look like something clse it at_once becomes an object of art. S0 we have battle-nxes, an- ¢ koys and Place Vendome colums with ngruous thermometers stuck on them, and yuchts, trip-hammers, helinets, embossed shields and plauques with clock faces star- ing from them. All these things are in the vilest taste. Ornamentation in such objects, no matter how elaborate, should rather em- phasize their uso an nature—in a word be con- gruous. e i BRIGHT LITTLE FOLKS. “Oh, mamma," sighed little Ethel, “I have such a'headacho in my sash.” Toacher—Suppose you were a king, Fommy, what would you doi Tommy—I'd nover have to wash my fuce any more. “Rufus, thar wuz fivo pears on this tree, an’ now I only count four. How’s thati" * don’t know, grauny, 'nlcss you counted one twice.” Little Johnnie's mother docs not answer one of his many questions. Johnnie grows impatient and usks: “Mumma, haven't you | got any talk in your mouth." “It must take a long time to get to hoaven,” | remarked a little Pittsburg boy as he watched a funeral procession go past. *Why, Will- jum{” asked his mamma. *Because the car- riuges go 80 slow.” A littlo Burlington girl who dislikes arith- motic was asked Lo give the sum of nine cows and seven cows. “Fifteen,” she replied. When informed that this was wrong, she petulantly excluimed: “It doesn't muke any difference i we only get the milk.” “Why don’t you come to Sunday school?” said & superintendent to n boy. 'Cause pa owes my teacher for o pair of boots, and the teacher got to scnding notes home by me, and pasaid T nocdi't go any more till he paid for the boots, and I don't think I'll go any more," “Yes, Tommy,” sdid_the teacher of the in- fant class, “that is right; vegetables come from the ground; and 'mow can Willie Waffios tell us where meat comes from{” Yessum,” responded Willie, with the air of one famillar with the subjoct; “meat comes from the butche “And what would you do, Henry,” asked a lady of her little nephew, who Lad been us- suring her of his unbounded affection for her, “if your good aunt were to dic and your uncle_were to marry again?” “Why, re- plied Henry, without (he slightest hesitation, I should g0 to the wedding, of course.” “Who was the most patient man?” asked a teacher in one of Pittsburg's Sunday schools yesterday. None of the small scholors seemad to know until a little chap, who had been in o brown study fora few minutes, held up his hand. “Who was it, Johnny?" 1t was the man who had the awful poor turkey."” A Quincy teacher recently in giving pri- mary language lessons wrote upon the black- board the words ‘Ingrain,” ‘“‘Brusscls, ‘‘Witon," and requested her pupils to write each 8 Bentence containing ono of thoso words, One boy displayed his ingenuity s follows: “A Ledgehog has Drussels on his back." TThe pastor of one of our churches told a food story from his own family. Ono of his littlo oncs was very much interested in the story ef Elisha, tho bad small boys and tho bear, as read by his mother. After a mo- ment’s thought, hie said: I wouldn’t have said 80 to Eilisha, would I, mamma? I would huve said: ‘Please go up, thou baldhead.’ caisbec iy ACTRESSES' HUSBANDS. Emma Nevada married Dr. Palmer about three years ago. Barnhardt married an actornamed Damala, but was divorced. Rose Coghlau is married to a New England business man named Edgerly, who acts as her business manager. Annie Louise Carey is a devoted wife, as nho has made her husband the all absorbing {] ject of her life, when not behind the foot- lighta. Mod]exkn‘s first husband was a Polish actor named Modjes Mr. Bozenta was a young nobleman who fell in love with her across the footlights when she was a girl widow. Clara Morris married off the stage a Mr. Harriot, a society man, but her marriage does not prevent her from following her pro- fossion. It was a match of affection. Her husband is as devoted to her asshe is to her art. Among quite recent alliance of wealth and the stage are the marriage of Harry Weber, f the millionaire piuno maker to Trene Perry, a burlesque actress of Henry Dixey's company, and Miss Agnes Ethel to Francis W. Tracy, a millionaire of Buffalo. Tracy, who after a great rivalry, secured her hand, died recently, leaving her a million or two. The will I8 now being contested by the daughters of his first wife. The marriage of Nilsson to August Rou- zaud, & nephew of Admiral Bosse, was por- formed in Westminster abbey. The nuptials were witnessed by a number of distinguished individuals, including many racy, artists, journalists, Russian, American, Swedish_and French ministers. Count de Steenbock, secretary of the Swedish lega- tion, gave the bride away. The marriage sorvice was performed by Dean Stanley. PE| I’I'Lll\ll R Dll()l'fl. To be struck for moncy isa very painful blow. The frost strikes out the whole basc ball fraternity. A Minneapolis paper advertises “leggings for children with or without feet.” The fashionable tones in kids this winter will be bowling green and blind man’s buff. You cannot always judge &prln by appear- ances; but you can often judge bunk cashicrs by their disappearances. The bee is very industrious and never loses any timo. You have possibly noticed how quickly it brings you to the point. No base-ball trust will be formed until a written guarantee can be furnlshed that cach and every club will win the pennant. Counsel—Had the accused uny distinguish- ing featurcs by which you recognized him} Itness—Yes, sir; he was bowlegged in both eyes. “Business men should lm\( out fora new counterfeit dollar piece,” says 4n exchango. Better look out for & genuine oue; it will do Lim wore good. Atthe garden gate—‘'Don't you think it's getting pretty late, George.” “Yes, dearti, isalittlo lato for onotobo out, but not so very late for two.” K plait s baen dlacoversd in Thta wrhith is said to destroy the power of tasting sugar, It promises to be just the thing for grocers to mix with their sand. all about, pugilists knocking out their We havo known a wholo sidewalk full of pooplo tobe cleared by ® paintar's ladder with ton rounds. Magnetist—Yes, waiter, T am a magnetiat, Would you liko to sce’ me tip the tavle Waiter-No, sah; but if it's all de sume to you rah, yor might tip de waiter, sah. We don’t care how high coal i8 this winter, Wedon't care if it is Lohi But wo hopo it may be 5o high that the railroad companics ‘will not bo able to heat thei; rs with it “Water as a medicine,” read & Kontucky politician in & sanitary journal. “Noxt sone Dlame fool will be advocating water as a bov- erage,” ho added, in a tone of deep disgust. “Will you give your daughter much of & wedding, Mrs. Overtheline?” “Oh, no, it will be'a very quiet affair—a fow kegs of boer, und possibly some skyrockets from ‘the roof.” The book stores in Towa are selling large numbers of a_work entitled “‘Reverics of a Buchelor.” The volume 18 8o full of spirit— carcfully packed fn_a flask between the cov- ers—that every drinking man in the state wants it just ordered an elovator,” said the to tho Rustler. “What ‘for) An; other seven story offica building#? “No, for my frout gate. ~ You sce they have been gruding our strect and I must provide some meaus of getting down to grade.” i SINGULARITIES. v In_Washington county, Ohio, re- ve birth to throe calves in one day. in, O., bousts of & two weeks old baby that is the Proud possessor of u perfect tooth. A young mulatto girl who barks furiously and gonstautly like a dog, i & curiosity of Starke, Fla, 1t is reported that a being with a face that is hulf man and half dog lives near Oil City. He or it goes upon all fours. An clk that weighed 800 pounds, dressed, was recently killed in Coos county, Oregon. It was 1534 bands bigh sud 11 feel 6 inclics ong. _ Floyd Tuft, a young giant of Westville,Vt., is eight years old and weighs 125 pounds. Ho is a8 strong us an ox, and cun easily shoulder two bushels of corn. There is an alligator over three foet long in Agnew's pond, at Ocala, Fla., that comes by calling, and eits threo times & day out of the hauds of Lis owner. Ho is belng easily trained. J. P. Johnson, of Chattooga county, Tenn., has apig born with only ‘three legs, there being no shoulder blade on the left side or other indications that a leg was intended to grow thero. The famous Hardes Grove in the Rock- ledge, Kla., hammock, has produced an orange that measurcs’ fifteen and @ half inches in _circumference and weighs two pounds and two ounces. There is a grapevine growing in the hum- mocks of Suwhateh Blakely, Ga., measuring twelve inches amete thirty-six inches in circumfercnce. Those who have secn the vine say it is the largest known. Miss Rhoda Burchett, a prominent youn lady at Owensboro, hius givon birth 10 4 child without ears, eyes or arms. It hus o patch of hairon each cheek and also between the shouldors. The report says it is living and doing well. A woman of Jersey City, N. J., recently brought home a trange c¥g as a_souvenir of ip, and placed it on the parlor table. One week ufter sho was surprised to see a littlo turtlo break the shell of the egg and_slowly grawl out. Tl leat of thorooi Lad hatelied b, The Santa Cruz Surf tells of an immense sea turtle which was caught near Cupitola the other day. It mezsured eight feet from the tip of its nose to the tip of its tail, and ite weight is guessed by o locul guesser to be about 1,000 pounds. A Georgia man has an old hen that since she was hatched until recently, was decideds ly white. Not long ago she began moulting, and every white feather that dropped out was replaced by @ black one, and now biddy is clad in somber black from bill to tail. A Belmont county, Ohio farmer rejoices in'u heterogencous colleation of frowks, con- sisting of & pig whose feet are split'so as to give it the appearance of having toes, an- other with three ears, & cat with one ear growing wrong side outand a boy with three thumbs, A child was recently born on Staten Island, N. Y., whose mouth run at right angles to thé place Where the mouth should be. The lip \ere perfectly formod, and the upper ond bf the mouth split the nos w.v.-m.l. nostrils. A surgical operation was recent formed, the child is doing well, and it is lmm,vud that it will be but slightly disfigured. A twelve-pound cannon shot was found im- bedded seventeen inches decp in an oak tree in the suburbs of Franklin, Tenn. It was evidently fired from u fedoral cannon dur- ing the bloody buttle twenty A, 0. It entored the tree n the side noxt 1o tho town. ‘The fibers of onk aro still at- tuched to the bull and are uearly us hard as the won itself. The other day as Mr. Stansficld Baldwin, of Jucksonvill, TIL, was hauling wood heé found a blood-red owl about the size of a half- grown chicken. Tho day being \u|gh'. he captured the bird and put it luto his pocket, intending to bring 1t to Dr. l\lng w_be mounted, but unfortunately it escaped. M, Baldwin 'says it was tho only o lull.lm kind he had ever saw,and he regarded it as e great curiosity. the Astoria (Oregon) Transcript: “Mr. O. Polson, who bas been’ fishing in the Columbia for thic last eight years, on Monday night last caught in Young's river a fish that is & mystery to fishermen. It was twelve feet in length and not of the sturgeon spec- ies, Centering between Its eyos it has a bony projection about thirteen inches in length, varying from three inches in diame- 0 & necdle point shurpness at its extrems ity.” The San Bernardino Times says: “There is In the canyons and on the hills north of the city a tree which is covered with a fruit resembling the cherry both in looks and size. ate, does not grow in werry, has a vory large mbles the cherry stone clusters, as does th which also r in shape. The treo grows more like a bush usually, though some attain a hoigit of forty to fifty feet. The lcaf resembles that of tLe live-ouk T — A Berlin company offers electricity for boiling water and other heuling purposes ws well as for lighting, o