Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, August 21, 1887, Page 9

T NINGLING WITH ROYALTY, | o st o teave 10 i busily about, abparently An Omaba Bes Correspondent's Visit to | that tho Engiish Hag whs oorg Tonis | TR ey b iy on the great tower. “Aye, and glon Fashionable SP‘- wouldn't reco’nize the Incggo-m:rro;,' e the porter told us, **' INCREDULOUS MR, gettin' married The Average Englishman—English Inns—The Barmaid—River Avon — A Poetic Professor, KNIBBS, don'tcherknow. Yes, of Warrick's comin’ 'ome a moon.” We gave for this bit of news. politely and ealled to the gentlemen some o' that best 'OMEBREWED HALE," which we were was hot, ' We had then sech the LoNpox, July 80.—([Special Corres- pondence of the Bee.]—Bidding adieu to the old city of Chester, look at her antiquated walls, we took a h"“”g horse car, or as Englishmen call it, a Sized tram, for the Great Western station, and bought tickets for Leamington which we reached at eight o’clock 1n the evening. Leamington is a very fashionable “'spa,” but contains nothing of any particular interest to the tourist. We went there, however, because it was a convenient center from which to make lttle excur- sions to the famous old places in the neighborhood; We rather expected to find a Mttlomiore life and energy in the general mdKe up of the peovle of Leam- ington, especially since 1t was & fashion- able watering place. But we were dis- appointed to learn that Leamington was very little more modern than Chester. T'he summer season had not yet begun, visitors had not come in from London, and the people were apparently enjoying the last few days of their regular winter's sleep, before the general awakening of theysummer. One thing was very amus- ng at Leamington and that was the look of utter amazement with which the dreamy old natives would gaze at tho electric light apparatus which was Just being put up. Our landlord, who by the way came at the melodious call of Knibbs, gave us a lunilccture on modern inven- tions. From his talk we gathered that he had first heard of the eiectric light w!(p:n a few days. The telephone was entirely new to him, and the few extra shillings were proba- bly added to our hill because we tried to make him believe there was such a thing, .:‘s“an expouent of most brazen increfi- Yy would fill the 00k, Wo next v?ui ortion of St. M choir and chn.pur-housu were preserved, furnishing a fine speciman of the docor- ated style, We paid into the Beauchamp chapel, which con- tains the tombs of Richard Beauchamp its founder, and that of Dudley, earl o Leicester, whom you all remember as the favorite of Queen Elizabeth. Beau- champ’s tomb is profusely decorated in carving and gilt, and is said to be second to none in the kingdom except that of Henry VIL in Westminster. After stand- ing a few moments under the handsome nave and admiring its fine proportions, We went to see the east and west gntes of the city,which are nothing more than old stone arches with towers on the tops— butoh, if those towers could speak, what volumes they could tell of the trouble- gome old times when the nods of kings sh'npcd the destiny of nations. The next two days were given to visits at Stratford on Avon and Kenilworth castle, un account of which [ shall give in my next letter. FRANZ SEPEL. BOOK REVIEW, “AFTER SCHOOL DAYS" is a new and interesting book issued by D. Lothrop company of Boston, from the pen of Christina Goodwin. This book has none of the feverish elements which characterize most works of fiction nowa- days, but is natural, bright and healtn- ful. Itis a story for girls, and its open- ing pages are descriptive of life at a country boarding school. In the first chabter the principal characters of the story are introduced in a group at the On leaving the rooms we saw liveried servants lllf(ing getting thin, On leaving the court lwe n‘v: og Some Who Have Sought It in Vain—Others s honor 'as been Capin Greville,the third son of the Hear] ot married an’ they're onday to spen’ the' oney- the porter a twopence . He thanked us very his wife to ‘‘give viadito’ get as the day last of Warwick and taking a last | castle but not of Warwick itself, whose es of a good ed St. Mary's church and the gates of the city. A greater ary’s was destroyed a fire which swept through the city about two hundred years ago, but the an extra fee to get with people, and in the largest gatherin, there is a town wl name :of Pandundle, started a newspapor the, fi;by county, where population is, ¢ has taken the mebody has nd in & ro. MATRIMOMAL HAPPINESS, ) With Sucoess. cent issuo of it appeatl the following: ‘Wanted—Immediate] 100 single youn, women who are preped to rough fi for a time to come to Panhandle and marry our thrifty yous men who have located on 640 acres oknd and are now living 1n_dugouts, tentand cabins. We oan speak a good wordor every one of the boys: they are alljoble American citizens uxcag: one, ande is a little un- fortunate in being the @ of an English lord. Girls, this is a gea chance. Be- Sides this, married life till beat single blessedness every time. In a few months time the dugouts will béurnedginto cel- lare and comfortable hases erected when tho railronds bring in luber.” There is no place like a new coutry for the fair sex. There evar’ym{wu woman is a belle and every good wman is little less than an angel. The rogh men of the frontier know how to ppreciate the in- trinsic excellence of thsex, _Bob Ingersoll'éVedding. Buffulo Times: A pesion examiner in Lllinois was required tanke the deposi- tion of an applicant fo a pension who seemed very positive aout the date on which he contracted a svere cold, which resulted in a chronie diiculty, for which he clnimed the bountyof the govern- ment. His positivents as to the date led to the inquery how t was that he could swear to an inalent which was comparatively trivial wien it occurred. He said: ‘1 know that the colc was contracted on the 21st of Februay, 1862, because Bob Ingersoll was maried on the follow- ing day. How do I ome to remember that so well* Why, Bo was the colonel of our regiment. ~ T ws on guard duty near Peoria on the nigl of the 2ist, It was us cold as Tever fet it,and as I stood at my post Bob came aong and after sa- luting him I said, ‘Bon,if you cun't give me an overcout, a botte of whisk: relicve me from this dity I will fro dc:gllll.' He replica. ‘(1] do all thiree, With that he took off his overcoat, which had been made as a pat of his wedding outfit, and handed it to me. Then from his inside pocket he hosted out a flask of prime old red-eye and shucked that over, too. After that he left me and returne to his quarters, and I'll be blamed if he didn’t issuc orders for the reliof of the entire guard, as he saig it was too cussed cold for guard duty thst night. You see COST OF A WEDDING QUTFIT. Marrying the Same Man Twice—Bob lngersoll's Wedding—A Marrying Market—Where the Good Wife is Found, ‘What s Love? George Arnold. Dnrllnzé I’'m lonely when thou art not near me, ,Lonely, with even the dearest beside; olces whose tones used to gladden and Seen 0 ntve allthele old mage denjed r old magic denied. But in thy presence each dulr.gna is dearer, Music Is sweeter and starlight clearer, Friendship and truth appeat truer, sincerer, Oh! surely ’tis this that they tell us is love. Absent, thine image floats ever befors me— Present, 1 only can feel that thou art In the vague sense of delight that steals o'er Y Wildering my brain and thrilling my heart. There is no one 8o lovely where beauty as- senibles, Thems‘lay:n“uflnz my dreaming about thee re- es Save uomg[ bright star in the far sky that rembles— Ohllsurelv ’tis this that they tell us is ove. What a Man’s Wedding Outfit Costs. From the Haberdasher: There was a time when a trousseau was exclusively a woman privilege. In those days the ap- parel of a groom was not considered at all, or 1f considered, was held to be of no consequence wiatever, ‘“I'imes have chnnzgd, nnd we have changed with them,” as some old Latin dufter or other has remarked, and with these changing times the groom has grown to be of as much importance as the bridegroom in the matter of dress. Tiiere are still, perhaps, some obscure nooks where a new necktie, three pair of ‘socks,” u clear collar and one-third of a dozen of new shirts are amply suf- ficient to start upon married life, but such 1s not the case in New York, Now- adays, no less expense is incurred on be- half of the groom, but it falls upon him- close of the school term, and their con- versation gives a clue to their different characters and aspirations. Later chap- ters develop their different courses of life as shaped by circurstances and in- clination. 1t is not as a story alone that ‘‘After School Days” is charming. There 18 strong moral fiber in it, and there are scattered through its pages apt sugges. tions as to the vital things of life which cannot but set readers to thinking. And they are introduced so deftly and un- consciously that they have no effect of being forced. The key to the book may be found in these half-dozen lines from one of the chapters: f life has taught me anything it is this,—to value the present, to enjoy to the utmost its pleas- ures, to estimate at the highest 1ts oppor- tunities, to praise the Lord for its bless- ings without looking forward with anxiety or backward with regret.” IS KNIBBS Wwould certainly take the palm. But he kept a good inn which we accounted for the fact that his bar-maid kept it for him. And this leads me to speak of that thormlglh‘ly English institution, the bar- maid. To begin Wwith, there are plenty of ale houses and inns in England, while the temperance element as we know 1t in America, is almost entirely wanting. The - average Englishman, or woman either, would not think of taking a meal Without his glass of ale. There is no t‘office’’ in a country inn, but a bar which is presided over by a young lady, gener- ally a pretty one, in"a white cap and white apron. She first strikes you as being neat, sprightly and polite, and you never have occasion to change your opinion of her. She takes your name, gives you a room and shows you to it, ordors_rYourlu ‘gnge sent up, asks what you will have for supper, waits upon you at the table, gives you the latest paper, Which is generally a week old, calls you in the morning, in fact, she is Lem,thurc and everywhere, and either does every- thing for your comfort and convenience or sces that 1t is done herself. MY VARIOUS STOPS at English inns have tended to inspire a most profound respect and sometimes *e SARATOGA CHIPS AND CARLSBAD WAFERS, Funk & Wagnalls,New York, have just 18sued "Surnnigz Chips and Carlsbad Wafers,” by Nathan Sheppard. This unique book is a (f]munl,crispnnd humor- ous description of the pursuit of happi- ness and health at the two great mineral water resorts uf America and Europe. It is pictured from real life. The sketch is . H raphic and realistic to the first degree. pity for bar-maids, as a class of individ- ‘f‘hem is a strange mixture of wit [;')hil. uals who do so much work, doitso i Cuon 1 1w puged. it 18 chcle‘;lull'vfnm!x‘;ecolvu kac»dlmle gfl)" %! a fi:"é’;fi’e:}' ‘l’l!“:)‘\‘fll “nlm!—lndlen ‘:u‘;nuspheae matter of fact the work done by & bar- | of our famed Saratoga. The man, or the maid here generally requires two_oOr | woman, in pursmt of health, rest, recrea- Glown Tom, whara” we ‘moppod. was'n | om'; Sof 0 Bo wiser (bng thad to-get 3 is little book. charming ifttle place with cool, com- sndirow , * fortable rooms and balconied windows. The fresh flowers which were placed on our table every da{, and a hundred other little attentions which we received at the hands of Polly, the bar-maid of course, made us wnng to stay at the inn all the time. After our first night’s rest, howev- er, we took the train for Warwick, and after visiting the castle we were not all e THE BOOK OF LIFE, A very interesting work is that issued by the Health and Home of Chicago, under the title of ‘“Ihe Book of Life. This is from the pen of Dr. Sivartha,and shows thorough research on the part of its author. From the origin of the worlds the author leads the reader into the deep- & est of thought, and on subjects pertinent sorry to have left the Crown. ~ Warwick | to men and things, and into the destiny castle is truly a maguificent place and | of nations. To the author it is indeed a Scott’s glowing tribute to its splendour | creditable offort, the illusirations also i8 no exnggeration. It stands on a state- | peing clear and inwresling, but the pub- 1y eminence, commanding a fine view of | jjsher may have, with profit, made a de- THE RIVER AVON, cided improvement in the arrangement and is almost surrounded by & thickly | of subjects. wooded park, After paying the entrance leelo( 3 u’mlllnt{lnt “lm porter’s lodge, we alked throi a long passage way ap- :urenlly cutul‘llllo the ruf,kv he fullné‘e constantly looking for what he calls ex- on either side was thick enough to forma | pedients in phonography, or the lnt‘cn complete arch over the passage way | approved methods and word-signs for mnkk‘nx it delicionsly cool. Passing over | phrasing, designed to aid in 5!“’“‘0: the draw bridge and under the cullis we | rate of speed.” and a greater degree o found ourselves in a large grass covered | accuracy. - Any publication which tends ocourt surrounded by drives and walks, | to this end is anxiously looked .‘.0" We and these in turn hemmed in by the | have made a careful review of “The Re- ay turrets and lofty towers of the cas- | porter's Guide,” designed for students o.” Following the diraohons of 8 guide | n any style of phonography, and tind it we nscended one of the highest towers | an invaluable work to any short-hand from which a splendid view was to be | writer. Elias Longley is the ll‘lthor, Cin- nad of the whole castle, the court, the | cinnati, O., or Los Angeles, bul-.h price moat, the river, the park and gardens, | $2 by mail. mlwugu. Just published. the town, and the slendor spires of cov- ) entry in the distance. The sight was in- IRELAND SINCE THE UNION—1800-1886, spiring. It was our “first castle” and | is an interesting book from the pen of the impressions were similar to those of | Justin Huntley McCarthy, published by our “first cathedral” at Chester. The | Belford, Clarke & Co., of Chicago. Itis professor waxed poetic as usual and did | a history of the various movements of not recover from his reverie until one of | the Iris I‘]’MPle for legislative “""‘;Pfi“' the numerous red-coats about the castle | dence and liberty from “'fiTvflflm'o tie; took him by the shoulder and waltzed | penal laws to home rule. A de ensgiol him off to u gravel walk inlorml;‘m M'E l:lmc;lc::nb ml:u:;:?:w g:::afyd'(o‘:;:s "?u i *‘keep o ucan, il :2:‘;:—?3;’::‘"““ Sxpectedhiio Hoap ovening chapter, followed lgy a sketch of After sitting awhile in the cool shade | the yolunteer movement in 8,the union, of the west wall, contemplating the Daniel O'Connell's struggle for Catholie scene and recalling many of the historic | emancipation and his abortive efforts for events which have made the old place so | repeal,fenianism and other futile attempts familar. We were informed that a| towring from England the substance of uide was about to show a party through®| nationality. Mr. McCarthy 18 too well fiw interionof the castle and that we | known to this generation of readers to could join them if we wished, We ac- need an introduction, neither does his cordingly entered the mansion house | Work requirc commendation. Aithough which 18 against the wall nearest the | an active participant in the latest move- e THE REPORTER'S GUIDE. Every advanced short-hand reporter 18 self, and he, too, must pay a part of the expense of a (nshiounl;le wedding, as follows: 6 suits silk underwear at 840.. 4 dozen {mlru silk hose at §00. 2 dress shiris at $10 2 dozen plain shirts 2 dozen collars at $4 2dozen cufls at § that event impressed dates on my mem- ory, and I am not likel; to soon forget Colonel Bub's wedding," To Be Wedded Happily. Baltimore American: Hapviness and :}ellflshness can never nfiufiriah 'in 12 e same stem; e Mls the 1 white silk ves 25 | other. To be wedded %‘z’lppilv the pro- H}}’«erél‘:nwri.r“‘u(q:c;tunt 812, 46 | moters are congemality and unwlfislh o e it o 2 | ness. A good woman will endure much Sik mnnkoand ::c;ls_effl at 81 %4 | for her husband, the man for his wife. 1 pair suspenders ats A true woman will smile, cheer and help 8 pair suspenders at her husband should clouds come. Then 1 dress suit. is the time to test her character, solve the problem, the object of her matrimony. Men look for women with a heart, a soul; do not let their facial beauty be their sole attraction: rather let it be their beauty of soul and churacter that inspires your love for them. For with these there 18 no autumn; no fading; their leaves will be fresh and beautitul forever. 240 240 120 8 18 10 25 & 100 ldriving suit, 100 1 overcoat. . 95 toncoat. Hats, &e. Shoes, &. 4 8ilk night s| 1 bath robe..... 4 Pajama suits o Smoking jacket and Silk dressing sui 3muflers at $10. 1inside vest of s . 1 leather shirt case, silver mounted. 1leather handkerchief case. 1 traveling robe 1 waterproof coq 1 English hold-all. 1cane and 1 umbre 1 dozen gloves. . Jewelry Total.. Of cours e sides these that an exacting “taste would demand, but this is a fair estimate of what a gilded youth of Gotham would Tidies as Creators of Squabbles. think the proper thing for a bridal out- Bab, in New York Sun: Why doesn’t fit. The cost of little trifles these | congress abolish tidies? They have been has no terrors, but there is one item | the cause of more matrimonial squubbles, whose cost we have omitted that fre- | of more waste of time and n greater quently proves a paralyzer. This is a | amount of folly tham any other small wife. vice, and once done aud possessed there is absolutely nothing gained. Don’t Go to u Resort for a Wife. Bavannah News: People who do not visit the resorts are perhaps happier than those who do. ‘They are meither secking fortunes nor :ewhey avoiding those who are. In the matter of mnarriage it is al- ways better to choose life partners at bome, for there is then mach less danger of making a mistake that may cause life- long unhappin i Where the Good Wite 18 Found. New Orleans Picayune: Life is short and women are many. Most men have not time for more than a superticial ex- ammation of each of their fair friends, and to her who crowds her best Zoods into the showecase 18 awarded the highest vrize.—Hebrew Standard. This is very queer advice, 1t is not necessary to se samyling the world and waas*miny’ go to & man wants A28 % good mother for her daugnter. He will not go far wrong. The goods 1n the showesse arc made to sell and may not be of the best quality. “'‘Aw, no, old chappie, I'm nota marry- ing man. The women are so doosid ex- travagant, don’t yo know*’ And it is because the women ‘‘are so doosid extravagant” that marrying is somewhat sparingly practiced nowa- days. Marrying the Same Man Twice. Utica Observer: About fifteen years ago, on board a dancing barge, when a big ‘Tammany excursion was holdin, high carnival, Morris Curran had dran| more firewater than was good for him. He got to fooling with some young girls from one of the upper wards of New o York. “Iwant a nice little wife,”’ said he; “which one ot you will have me?'’ A mischievious little miss,whose father was on board, anchored at the bar, spoke up that she wanted to take out her free- dom papers, and knew of no better way to c;z‘c;pu her parents than to geta hus- and. *No time like the present,” said Cur- ran. ‘“‘Here's a man who will marry us;” and he called to a fellow who was pass- ing. After a little more badinage the Tammany man bade the proposing part- ners take hold of hands. ~ He went oyer aform and pronounced them man and i Just then tho girl’s father came up, and there was a discovery. Curran and little Delia were married, sure enough, for it was Justice Ledwith from Jefferson Market who had performed the ceremony. A scrimmage ensued, in which broken heads and torn clothes T were conspicuous. The father hurried Parnell's Power a Mystery. home wiih his child, and early next New York Times: Mr, Parnell, almost morning sought the office of Charley | alone of the eight notable men whostand Spencer, the criminal lawyer. Adivorce | in the first rank of the Irish parliamentary wus obtained, and ten years ago the girl | party, can scarcely be said to explain his was married to another man. greatness to the observer, either by his But the passage of time brought uswech or his uppearance. His person- many changes. Delin, the bride | ality and his power alike remain a of the barge, lost her husband | mystery to those who see him most she had married in 1877, and in | closely. There is nothing specially 1877 a widow with two lttle children | impressive about his face. It is delicate and a sick father found the world by no | without being either nervous or hand- ‘Why Don't They Prosper? San Francisco Report: The proper re- ain just now is: *‘Why don’t the men prosper?” 1t 1s sung n every city in the union with most pathetic intonation. It is & fact, however, that the dearth of mar- riages can be counted against women as well as man. A love of independenceghas done more to injure the marriage market than lack ot gold on either side. What man wants to tie himself to a girl who frankly says she will take care of herself, and hesitates not to do so, whether it be agreeble or otherwise to him? And what girl bungers to mate with a man who gorges himself on cigarettes and runs with the boys night after night? Such unions increase responsibilities, and ver- scns fitted to care for only themselves are not equal to the burden. Itis per- haps, as well that comparatively few venture into the nuptial net, while the odds for happiness and contentment sre 80 much against them. o rixer. I was hiore thut we got our first | ment for Irish independence, his work 18 {don of the ¢hivalric splondor of olden | free from partisan bias, and deals with times. ‘Tha mansion is now occupied by | facts and conditions as they were and the Greville family, who, luckily for us, | are. The book is dedicated to \'Right were not at home at the time of our visit, | Honorable Willlam E. Gladstone,”’ as a It was through the private apartments of | 'brief record of a wrong he has done so this family that we were shown. A care- | much to right and an enmity he has ful description of the magnificent rooms | reconciled. and the PRICELESS TREASURES in them would be fatigueing both to you and to me. The grand banquet hall was General M word, New York Tribune: The $1,000 sword which the ‘-ople o(M#rworl:? fll‘)‘e soon of particuiar interest, o8 it had been ro- | Provent o, dencra) Siles Wil notboorna: storad to its original appearance. Its | 1),ygt at the end of the handle. The seab- walls were embellished with the shining | ba\d will be of solid gold. One side will armor of old knights and with other his- | o Jeft for the presentation inscriptions, relics. The guide here requested us to | ato ~ The other side will be engraved “'please keep hon the wite squares of the | with the following scenes: First, the floor, ng‘nm nothers 'ad just been var- agency of San Carlos on the reservation, mished,” which order was somewhat in- | (jj Indians appearing in natural camp convenient for some of us, since the | jife. second scene, companies of cavalr squares were only eighteen inches across. | ang infantry in pursuit of indians; thire The drawing rooms, saloons and halls of | fa fight; fourth, the capture and the the interior were all richly decorated | [ngigns marched to Bowie Station, where yith paintings, mostly by ‘Van Dyke. |y train of cars stands waiting for their The turniture, too, was rare, the guide | reception; and last, Geronimo's head, frequently remuarking that “‘the top of | with hat on, forming the foot of the this table is of the richest Florentine mo- | seubbara. he blate 18 of Damasot saic, and is estimated at so many thousand | greel on which will be engraved the pounds.” The royal bedroomi attracted | name of General Nelson A. Miles, with universal attention, as it contained the | goroll work. The handle or han: ip same furniture, tapestry,bed and canopy, | will bo of white shark’s skin braided in as when occupied by Queen Anno. ‘The | gold. The guard will be of gold and be richly inlaid canopy and spreads were | ap\plomatic of both cavalry and infantry. wonderfully well preserved. There was | At the extreme end of the guard, en- an admirable view from the window of | traved n gold, will be the head of this chamber down over the ivy but- ‘tresses of the castle across the moat and to the river,which bubbled over the rocks _in a beautiful cascade. . We. were two | duces a soft and besutiful skin. It com. hours in infi through the interior, and | bines every element of beauty and purity. \ovely ‘as the place was, we were tired | Sold by druggists. . Natchez, the son of Cochise. e —— Pozzom 8 . Complexion Powder pro means & Tammany picnic. She worked | som, and there is no sign of great away with a stout heart, however, and | strength or depth in its bright kept a tidy home for ner helpless family | eyes. its thin nose, or its small atthe topof a new flat house on the | mouth. His voice is high- east side. One day uhe‘mt to thinging | pitched and rather teminme in its how nice 1t would be if she could get | intonation, with no suggestion of mag- the care or such a house. A thousand | netism in fibre. He seems to havefno little janitoria) duties the old father | faculty for remembering names or faces. could perform, and she would hire a stout | He has no particular friendship outside servant tor the hard work. She wrote to | of it. He is affable to people introduced the agent of the house stating her cir- | to him, and rarely gives them the impres- cumstances and wishes, and signed her | sion that he is reticent, It has passed whole name, Delia Coe Driscoll. Next | into a proverb that he 1s reticent, and I day a portly old fellow with a Santa | dare say it may be the case, but he has Claus expression of face and figure, | a score of times tnlked with apparently climbed to her sky parlor. The ‘:reny the utmost freedom on every subject that little widow colored with expectation as | came up, no matter how delicate it was. he told her that he was the owner of the | He 1s at least outwardly 8 cold man, not building. given to show interest injthings—and this “'You are a widow, Mrs. Driscoll?” he | has bred the notion, doubtless, that he is said, secretive. The deference which 15 paid *I lost my husband years to him by his followers has no close par- “Was he your first husban allel anywhere within my knowledge. _“Why, yes—certainly—that is—'" the | Perhaps the nearest political approach to little widow stopped as™ the recollection | it was to be found in New-York State 10 of her child-life trouble came across her. | years ago, in tho attitude of the Stalwart *‘You may have heard—it was in the | henchmen toward Roscoe Conkling, but papers at the time, and n great sorrow to | the points of differenee are many. Conk- us all. I was married for fun, not know- | ling was a dramatic snd imperious, and ing I was being married when I was only | Parnell is neither; the Stalwarts 1ulfoyved sixteen, to a Mr. Curran. the Senator in part from personal liking, *I am that Mr. Curran,’ said the gen. | in part from personal fear, while the an, and the widow nearly fainted. Irish members have little deep personal ‘The courtship was short and now Mr. | feeling toward their chief one way or the and Mrs. Curran are spending their | other, honeymoon at the Branch, o TomeSe. Wi Imperfect digestion and assimilation ‘A Marrying Market for 100 Girla, | produce dilortfi:rd conditions of the sys- New Orleans e: The Pandandle | tem which grow nnd are confirmed by of Toxas is & body ‘of territory mnnin& negieet. Dr.J. H. Mclean’s Strengthen: up at the extreme northwest "corner ing Cordial and Blaod Purifier by its the state between the Indian territory | tonie properties cyres indigestion” and snd Now Moxica, Itis now filling up | gives tone to the stoguch. y ~TWELVE PAGES. SOME MIDSUMMER ~ SMILES, A Young Man Who Was Equal toa Trying Oceaston, THE ARMY MULE'S SAD LOT. English as She is Wrote—Tho Was Ohanged~Two Model Busines Letters—Lsits of Fan, nbject English as She 15 Wrote. H. . Daage. The teacher a lesson he taught, Tne,lpmuelmr a sermon he praught: he stealer, he stole: The healer, he hole; And the screecher, he awfully scraught. The long winded speaker, he spoke: ‘The poor office-seeker, he soke; he runner, he ran; ‘The dunner, he dan’; And the shieker, he horribly shroke. The fiyer, to Canada flew; I'ne buyer, on credit he bew ; The doer, he did; T'he suer, he sid: And the liar, (a fisherman) lew. The writer, this nonsense wrote; The fighter, (an editor) fote; he swimmer, he swam; ‘The skimmer, he skam: And the biter was hungry and bote, The Bubject Was Changed. ‘‘My dear,” said he to his lady love, *I've been busy all day; not manua labor, you know, but brain work, which is the hardest kind,'’ “Yes, indeed; 1 know it must be for you,” and there was a look of tender sympathy in her eyes which aroused him, She was quite in ecrnest, He changed the subjuct. The Army Mule in Time of Peace. Ju W. Burgess. That men are ungratetul can plainly be seen In the case of the mule standing out on the wreen. His teatures are careworn; bowed down is his head s His gnirit is broken: his hopes have all fled, He thinks of the time whan the battle raged sore, When he mingled his bray with the cannon’s loud roar; When Uncle 8am’s soldiers watched for him 0 come Hauling _stores of provisions, and powder, and rum; When his coming was greeted with cheers and huzzas And the victory turned on the side of the stars. ‘These thoughts put new life in rickety nes— He prances just once, then falls over and roans. A vision comes over his poor, mulish mind. And he sees Uncle Sam, with his agents be- hind, Granting pensions by thousands to all who . apply, Erom the To the rich. fool, But alas there 13 none for the “poor army mule.” rivate so low to the officer high; and the poor, the wise man apd What He Gives Us. When Lo, the brave, in daubs of paint, Most grimly doth appear, He miay be said to give us then A little Sioux-veneer. Thought He Had Him. Pat made a bet of a dollar with Mike that he could carry a hod full of bricks up three Indders to the ton ‘ot a bullding, with Mjk slitiug on the hod, seauvr Pat made a The & buttinedders Were \iasolt in time to save miav iniling forty feet to the stone sidewalk. Arriving at the top, Pat said: “Begorra, I've wan the dollure.” “Yls,”" replied Mike, ‘“but when ye shlipped I thought I had ye.” The New Mother Hubbard. There went to the cupboard A lady named Hupboard ‘To look for a bone; But when she found none It saddened her so that she blubboard. He Would Risk It, A boy had a verz’ hard biscuit, He often threw it at hiscuit, Said I: “.\(K dear boy, Youwll kill kit with that !0{"’ But the youngster said he would riscuit. A Bora Sailor. He was an amateur yachtman, and he looked around the store in a timid way before he hesitatingly asked: “‘GGot any tacks?"’ *Yes, sir, plenty of 'em. How many papers?’ “I guess I'll take a paper of starboard and a paper of port. 1I'm gouing a-sailing, Inc"‘ddl want to bo provided with both inds. The Dude’s Wish, 1 wish 1 were a Hottentot, Without a tailor’s bill, And not a golden-headed dude Who has to dress to kill. My costume but an ostrich tail, And rings in ears and nose, 1 would notowe as much as now For dolng up my eclothes. ‘That [ was born in Africa Sweet Nature I would bless, Fo: every without expense I'd wear complete full dress. And I'd be free as Adam was In early |Illlyu from guile, And on Sundays wear a fig leaf In addition to a smile, Her Bustle was Off. Elmira Gazette: “'Oh, it was perfectly awful,” said one young woman to an- other iu a street car which had stopped on the Lake street switch the other day; “I was lying 1n the hammock,” she went on, and, if [ do say it, you know 1 look pretty nice in that--and he was sitting in & porch chair beside me. It was a lovely evening,for there wasn't a sign of a moon, and even the street lamp on the corper was not lighted. We were having a delightful time, and he grew more and more aflectionate. Oh, it wus delightful. He held one of my hands and kept the hammock gently swaying back and forth, Finally he leaned toward me, his face almost to mine, and I know he was just about tosay something awfully nice when —what do you think—the hammock string broke! 1 had taken off my bustle 8ol could recline comfortably 1n the hammock, and, say,the way 1 struck that porch—"" " But jut then the car sped on. Texas Greatness. Minneapolis Journal: A Texas man came up to Lake Minnetonka the other day and was talking with an acquaint- ance about one of his triends. “‘Most talented man in the state,” ex- claimed the Texan, enthusiastically. *Great man, eh?’" “Well, I should say he was. Never met his equal. His abilities ought to make him the greatest man in Ameri- ca.” “What is he—lawyer?" *No, sir.”" “Literary man?" “I should say not."’ “‘Politician?™ *Not much.” “‘What direction docs this greatness take,3 then?"'§ “\Vhy. man, he cun take a_ par of deuces and beat anything under four jacks, drink four quarts of whisky at a sitting and plug a penny every shot at our paces. He's the ablest man in the fouth to-day.” Little Bits of Fun. *‘Man proposes,’’ read the old maid contemptuously, and then she added, *“That's as much as they know about it: My experience has been that man doesn’ provose.’’ Economists declare that a dollar goes further now than it used. ‘I'bat; perhaps, HOWE & KERR, FURNITURE. 1610 DOUGLAS STREET, (Opposite Falconer’s.) BEAR 1. MIND WE ARE SELLING Furniture, Carpets, Stoves and Household Goods Of every Description, on Credit at Cash Prices. PEOPLES' INSTALLMENT HOUSE 613 N. 16th St., Between California and Webster, }?,OgEN'IlHAL & CO..V ?rogrietors. RILEY & McMAHON, Real Estate and Loan Brokers, 310 South Fifteenth Street. o115 lots in Patrick’ add, from §1,000: $400 cash down, balance to suf Corner 36th and California, 180x160 Several cheap lots in 8outh Omaha Nice acres in Bonfield cheap. Some desirable trackage lots, 5 acres good trackage, cheap. Good bargaius in all parts of the olty, A fine aore in Washington Hill HILL & YOUNG, 1211 and 1213 FARNAM ST. FURNITURE Carpets, Stoves, House Frveit® Weekly and Monthly Pay- ments. is the reason that it is such a long time getting around to some of us, An exchange wants to know ‘“‘what product has the greatest acreage?” Corn! And on the foot it is the grestest cause of acher rage. Spencer tells us the only sleep and laughtor rests the brain. But Spencer is 'way off. We know a man who was kicked shamefully by a mule whose brain is resting as quietly 48 a man who doesn’t advertise. There is a man in New York who has cleared $1,000,000 during the past year from the sale of pies. Nearly all the doc- tors take off their hats to him on the street. —_——— Positions That Affect Sleep. According Dr. Granville the posi- tion affects sleep. A constrained position generally pre- vents repose, while a comfortable one woos sleep. He says: . Lying flat on the back with the limbs reluxe&', would seem to secure the great- est amount of rest for the muscular sys- tem. This is the position assumed in the most exhausting discases, and it is generally hailed as a token of revival when the pa- tient voluntarily turns on the side; but therc are several disadvantages in the supine posture which impair and em- barrass sleep. ‘Thus, in weakly states of the heart and blood vessels, and certain morbid condi- tions of the brain, ‘the blood seems to grayitate tothe back of the head and to produce troublesome dreains. In persons who habitually, n their ga or work, stoop, there is probably some distress consequent on straightening the spine. l'l'hoso who have contracted chesta, es- pecially persons who have had pleurisy and retain adhesions of the: lungs, do not sleep well on the back. Nearly all who are inclined to snore do 80 in that position, beeause the soft pal- ate and uvula hand on the tongue, and that organ falls back %o asto close the top of the windpipe. t is better, therefore, to lie on the side, and in the absence of special discases rendering it desirable to lie on the weak side, 0 as to leave the healthy lung free to expand, it is well to use the right side, beceause when the body is thus placed the food gravitates more easily out of the stomach into the intestines, and the weight of the stomach does not col press the upper portion of the intesti A glance av any plate of the visceral anatomy will show how this must be. Many persons are deaf in one ear and prefer to lie on a particular side; but, if possible, the right side should be chosen. Again, sleeping with the arms thrown over the head is'to be deprecated: but this position is often assumed during sleep, because circulation is then free in the extremities, and the head and neck and muscles of the chest are drawn up and fixed by tne shoulders, and thus the expansion of the thorax is easy. o ‘The chief objection to these positions are that they create a tendency to cramp and cold in the nrms, and some times scem to cause headuches during eleep and dreams, » ‘T'hese small matters often make or mar comfort in sleeping. e Where Monkeys Get Thelr Costumes, New York News; I have always had a curiosity to discover where the organ grinders' monkeys get their outfits, The other day my craving was gratified. In a Broom street basement 1 discovered a pretty girl trimming s monkey's coat. The hats and caps which complete the costume of the meledious ape were only present to the extent of a boxful. There 18 not a very heavy demand for these cos- tumes, says the pretty girl,and their manufacture 1s only part of that of cheap dolls’ clothing. and queer 1ag rabbits, cloth cats, and other articles of vertu such as are sold by street venders ean dress a monkey decently for half a dollar and provide him with a uniform cut to order, warranted to fit and splen- did enough for un opera bonffe field mar- shal, tor §1.50, cash down. The credit system, without which dudedom would bo in a bad way, does not prevail at this class of monkeys’ tailors. 314 South 13th St., 0maha, Neb. PRIVATE DISPENSARY, Established for the Scientific and Speedy Cure of Chronic, Nervous and Special Diseases. emancAlOS: The O} Reliabla Rpecialist of many years treata with wonderful Sucoes: ) NCER, PILES, FISTO- JPIURE, oured wittiout KNIFR OR s all forms of Throat Lung, Nerve and Blood diseases, all Chronic diseases wnd De- formitics far in advance of any institution in this country. Those who contemplate going to Hot Springs for the treatment of uny Private or Hlood disease can be cured for one-third the cost at gur Private Dispensary, 814 South 13th ia, Nel URE cured without pain or hinderance rom business. n|E By this treatment a pure Lovel Complexion, froo from slowne frecklcs, binokheads, eruptions, otc., Brilliang Eyes and porfect hoalth can be hnd, ¥~ That “tired" feoling and ali fomalo weak- promptly cured. Bloating Hoaduches, Prostration, General Debility, Sleep* i d Indigestiop, (vari and Uloer N lessncss, Depre troublod, Inflamm and Displacements complaints and Change of Lifge’ C old Doctor. X EYE AND EA Globe and far or N finmmations, Absce £ or both eyes, and Tu gy vor Infummation of the Fap Dlceration oe Catarrh, Tnternal or Bxternal Doafnoss, oF Paralysis, Singing or Roaring nolses, Thickened Drum, of \ Debllity, Spermatorrhaa, Som- NERVQU X inal Losses, Night Emisalons, il Powor, Siceplosnons, Despond: ency, Loss of Momory, Contusion 'of Ideas, Blurs Hefore the Eyes, Lussitude, Languor, Gloominess, Depression’of Bpirits, Aversion to ociety, Essily Discouraged, Lack of Confl- dence, Dull, Listless, Unfit for Stud nexs, and finds life a burden, Safelys nentiy and Privately Cured. Disoases, Syphilis.-a'di BLOOD & SKIN sense most “horrible in its results—completely eradicated without the use of mercury. Scrofuln, Erysipelas, Fever implos, | aing in the jlitic Sore Throat, Mouth E tment of the FIDde Sores, Hlo Head and 1 and Tongue, Nock, Rhieumatism, Ont: Cured When Others Hav “nluinv‘ K iariny and Bindder troubles, Weak Back, Burning Urine, Frequency of Urinating, Urine high colored or milky sedimenton stunding, Gonorrhaea, Gleot, Cystitis, cto, promptly and sately cureds Charges roasonable. PRIVATE DISEASES e "Gt wle . BLriotury inul emissions, loss of uul power, we, of the soxunl 0rgans, w re in m; anle, whetber from thabits of young or sexusl habits fu rs, or any cause that debilitates the ual tunctions, speedily aud permunently Congultation free and atrictly confidentis) Medicine sent froe from observation to all parts of the United States, Correspondence T prompt attention. No ers ane You | 1 stawnp for pamphlet and list o ‘eris strictly cash. Call on or a DR. POWELL REEVE! . 814 Bouth 13th 8t., Omuha, Neby N @ acoompaniod b{) four umulx f