Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, May 8, 1887, Page 10

S!JACOBS OIL INFLAMMATORY RHEUMATISM. 8 Ater @ lapus of yonrs satements confrm 00 ioary o7 S Jicohe OU ands s permanent eures, are given bilono, From a Rhicumatic Sufferer-1880-Cured, Hamburg, 1 suffored from sever thenmatism for about 4 weeks ve mo 0o relfef, T wis hotse, Hmbs very much swollen, a d toerawl up and down stairs, After a fow plications the paii was gone, and a few more catirely curcd mo, V ROLAND T. LEONARD, From Same 6 's Later—Permanently Cured. Hamburg, Derks Co, Oct, 19, 1585, Aboutsix years ago T took sick with in. fiammatory thoumatlsm and by us few bottles of St. Jacobs Ol I was sntircly cured, [ eheerfully duplicate my i ny U the geaud, great and good eflects of thie Oil, ROLAND T. LEONARD, From a Deputy Sherift—June, 1881—Cured. Attleborough, Last May T was Iaid up with aci matism aud coufined t) bed, was told 5 Oil. 1did 5o and next day Attlcborough, Mass,, Nov. 19, Thad a scvere atlack of acute rhe tlsm 80 1 could not take & #tep; was con- 1 tried eyerything to no pur. Inst tricd St Jacobs Ofl: Tt ircly aud I cheerfully recom- eud ELIJAH CAPRON, Deputy Sherif, THE CHARLES A. VOGELER €O, Baltimors, Md. A3~ All persona veixa St Jacobs Ol or Red &ar Cough Care, will by s=nding a two-cent stiimp and a huatory of their case, receive ADVIC FREE. STAR COUGH GURE REE FROM OPIATES AND POISON: SAFE. SURE. PRO MPT, AT DRUGOISTS AND KA . _WHECUARLES A, VOUELKS C0., BALS Sole agents in Omaha for tho celobrated SWE NOVELTY CARRIAGE. Prices from $1.95 to 835, Guaran eedone third less than oth ers ask. Send for catulogue and price list to H. HARDY & CO, The 99c Store and B azaar, lzo!)_lf'anmmwt.. = (nurilm, l"eh_. weoicaL Ponat s Tirure CELTRIC CATTERIES Cor. 13th ST. and CAPITOL AVE., OMAHA, NEB. Bestfacilities, apparatus and reuiédios for success. fullytreating il kindnof medica. and surgleal casca ‘miT FoRCrncuLARS on Deformities tud Braces Club Feet, Curvataro of ho Spine, Diseases of Wo. men, Piles, Tomors, Cancers, Catarrh, Bronchitls, lys! ipilepsy, Kidney, Bladder, Eye, Ear kin and Blood, and all Suril‘rll Operations. 'RIVATE CIRCULAR TO MEN On Private, Bpecial InalWeakness,Spormatorrhaa,Imp Gonorrhaea, Gleet, Varicocole, trcuble ?f!fl.fin’é"?fic NE 8Tl Damed dlseases, atment for Loss ofVital Power, nd BLoOD DiszAsEs from what. over cause successfully treated without morcury. Medicines 'or Instruments _ent by mall o expreas, securely packed from observation. Call and consult” s, or send history of case, with stamp. _All commzications strictly confidential, For Use ot patients, loard and attend. ance reasonable. Address all letters OMAHA MEDIGAL & SUREIGAL INSTITUTE, Cor.13th St. & Oani 'l Ave.. Omaha.Neh For sale by leadiag wholcsale aad retall estab- MAYER,STROUSE &CO. 413 Broadway, N. Y., Manufacturers, TAROID AN R WL THE OMAHA DAILY BEE: SUNDAY. MAY 8, 1887~TWELVE PAGE THE TIE WHICH CUPID BINDS. The Honmored Place the Gentle Wife is Ordained to Fill, MONEY MAKING MATRIMONY. The Maid the Chooser—He Found His Mate--Tempted With a Ring— A Salvation Army Weading— Clever Courting Schemes. Vice Versa. Wiltiam M Rw g As far into the past, I ween, As ancient nistory can carry, TI' unwritten law has always 'been, ‘The man should ask the maid to marry! But—tho' the innovation's great ‘That dares disturb so old a plan— 1 would sugwest that, from this date, ‘The maid should stipplicate the man! ‘Then, oh! what fun our loves would be, When iirls would Kiss us, clasp our watsts Or madly crave, on bended knee, The happy weddin 10 haste! arm, me o her bosoms e, I'm sure would lose no charm 1f men were coy and maids would choose ‘em! Two Kinds of Wives, Kansas City Times: When a man loves a woman well enough to marry her, and he ought to have a love that will last after death to do that,why does he n hers For peace, o lome, # shelt refuge, a place where he can get a from the world, a piace where he 1 keep his idols and houschold gods. Un the outside life's battle may be stern and cruel. He can fight that bravely through its greatest stress and torment, he can still see a light shining in the win- dows of his home. Blows may be heavy and wounds decp and painful, but after the struggle the rest, and after the scor- ing of the flesi the balm in Gilead. ¢ Reverse the picture and marry a wo- man who will not make a home, She must be eternally on the wing. At times about the premises the form sormewhat famili tangible, and there noise of familiar pir N all but invisible, and the humming-bird is off and away again, no flowers in its home rare enough or fragrant enough to tempt it to linger,to aligit, to build its nest. Suppose, again, & man has married a woman who has lured him to his destin because she was pure; modes ivated, refined, in his eyes a perfe . She is bis agunst’ the universe, Ho wants her. ‘The possession must be absolute and unquestioned. None of the graces, the pleasures, or the obligations of what is known as socicty need to be put away or abandoned for a single moment. The only stipulation that the man makes is for a home, for his wife to be mistress of that home, and for his own inexorable possession of that mistress and that household. How' then, must he feel when one day he awakens to the realization of the fact that the woman of his idolatry is about to become an actress. That the modesty which once shrank tiniidly from the bash- ful ardor of his own wooing1s about to face with a brazea stare the hateful shimmer of the footlights. That the cheek whichonce burntred under a single earess is about to obbered over by professional lechers, That the lips that had told him of her love in the soft hush of the twilight were to haye lips laid upon them that never made a vow of assion that was not broken, nor plighted aith to u confiding woman that did not wreck her life by wreeking her chastity. That the form which once to him was all that he had imagined of the grace and poctry of motion was to be girt about by other'arms and find rest and content- ment upon other bosoms. Whatf it i i F. and simultation and make-believe, did the man marry the woman to get only acting, and sim- ultation and ‘make-believe? It is the contamination which kills him to the soul. Itis the fondling, the kissing, the caressing, ~ the slobbering whicn makes ~ the farce 80 horrible to him. 1tis the bosom bare tothe breasts which makes him shudder as one is sup- posed to shudder when somebody treads upon the spot where he is to be buried. 1t is the exposure of person which puts the indescribable charm of modesty to death, and puts in the place of the one holy and idolatrous iove of his lifetime, a painted, rouged, furbelowed, and bed- 1zened thing, ranning hither and thither at the call of this or that manager, set upon by _libertines, conned over by insufferable puppies, perse- outed with indecent proposals, besought for interviews and assignations—in the name of everything which goes to make up the humanizing influences of home and the tranquil and sustaining pleasures of married life, what is a man to do under such circumstanc except to suh‘iugum his wife or quit nel In the old days in Rome if she had not listened to and obeyed her husband she wouid have been killed, A nttle touch of the steel even now might not be a bad transaction. If the family is to continue in the future as it has been in the past— the bulwark of liberty and the adamantine foundation of the State—more power ought to be given to the head of it. In the danys when giants were, the wives were home women and perfectly obedi- ent. One wouid no morevhave thought of aspiring to any public position with- out her husband's consent, much less of becoming an actress, than she would have thought of strangling her sleeping tirst born in its cradle. It is now time for old things to become new again, How me Wives are Woed and Won. Marriages are often the result of acci- dent. 1t seems strange, but the most prudent persons will sometimes conceive an irresistable attachment at the sugges- tion of a word or a look. When once under the spell of the verb “To love,” they o through all the forms and finish the” declension of the verb before the altar. The few may give the subject the consideration it deserves, but the many, there is reason to fear, are guided by impulse. A skipper of a coasting vessel called atthe village inn and asked the landlady, a young widow: “Do you know where 1 oan get & mate? 1 have lost my mate.’ 1m sorry for you, Mr. ——,” she said, smiling. *“'l wunt a mate too, and can- not get one, As we arc in the same posi- tion, I'll tell you what I'll do; If you'll be mine I'll be yours,” He closed” with the bargain, and the widow keeping to her word, he is now supplied with two mates. * e A young man at a church bazaar was button-holed by a lady; she would not let him go until he had bought something. looked at her stall, which contained rk of various kinds. *“*Why," ‘I see nothing here that would : to me, a bachelor, ex- cept yourself. he rest would be dear at any price,” ill be cheap enough," she said conxingly, 3 could be dear enough, per- , come! you are just the person I want,"” taking him by the arm, She sold him one article after another, keeping up an agreeable conversation, the while, and before all was doune he hiad purchased everything on the stall, 'n, at setthng up, there was some- aid about discount. *‘I cannot re- turn any money,'' she said blushing, *‘but if you think me dear enough, there's mamma; she may give you my hand.” ‘The bargan was ncgordinzly concluded, An eminent doctor, who had saved the s hfeof s lady, & personal friend, was oy~ X asked his charge. He said he generally allowed his patient friends to remunerate him as they thought be(imm‘. ‘‘But don’t you often get disappointed on these terms?" she inquired. “1 may say, never.' “‘As you are so easily pleased, here and she playfully gave him her empty hand, while in the other was concealed a check for a handsome sum, “‘How easily 1 coula have taken you in," she added, producing the check, “But you have only succeeded in draw- ing me out,"” he said, declining to relin- quish her hand, “Don’t insult me with a check; T am most generously rewarded.” Perhaps she understood ‘the doctor's difliculty and wished to help him out of ate the giving of her hand led him to offer his huar:.. * ady in a railwhy train kept looking the window, with her head for- until she remembered that the f(-nlh-m:\n opposite might possibly ob- ject. 3 “Do I cut off the view?*'" she asked. ‘‘Merely ot all 1do not wish to see!” he_rephed, gallantly The ice having b broken, they en- tered into conversation, found they were to got out at the same station, and knew cach others friends, The rest was plain sailing into what somebody calis ‘“‘the matrimonial lmvuu,:' » A lady with a fine figure having taken a fancy to a valuable ring which she saw ticketed in a shop window went inside to examine it. It is exceedingly lovely: I wish it were mine,’" she said, on sty- ing herself. “What smaller figure could tempt you *'No other figure than the figure before me," he said giving her an admiring look at the same time. ‘It is exceed- ingly lovely—I wish 1 could tempt you with the ring.” “I think lfil take it,” she said, layin down the money amidst blushes. O course he accepted the money; but, get- ting her address he made such good use of the hint that the next ring which she got was given by him in chureh. " said a ) . “Are you married 'yet, Kitty? il ntance sailor on meeting an old acqu: fter returning trom a long yoyage. **No; that somebody has never come.” “Ah, then, I have brought him after a deat of bother," lio Said, throwing his arms around her; and the matter was there and then settled. * »*e This was ingenious enough, like the case of the theatrical manager who was brought to the point when he called to inform his leading actress that he had secured a play at last which was sure to have 1 long run. “What part have me?" she asked. “You are to be a charming sweetheart, as you are.” ““Is there a wife in the piece?” There is." “Then I have done charming sweet. hearts till Tam tired. Tmust be a wi in the long run.” And she was. you reserved for Early Bliss of a Salvation Marriage. London Observer: At the marriage of the Marechale Catherine, General Booth’s daughter, to Colonel Clibborn at the Sal vation army rracks in London there was u curious scene. The young woman, tall and excitablo, as well as a_comely creature, soon as the marriage wa over, sung a song, of which one line not very encouraging to the newly-mar- ried husband ‘he "line was: “We'll fight and never tire,” and to illustrate her meaning in worldly fashion she squared ofl at her husband in true pu listic shape, dodging her head and shi ing her ground, and with much spirit she battered him about considerably. The immense crowd screamed and shouted. It was too much for the excitable rature of General Booth. He dragged out his venoerable spouse, and they sparred right merrily at each other. When that tired them both couples began a frenzied breakdown, hanging on each other's waists. What a Thrifty Wife Can Do. A young married man sends his finan- cial “experience to the Boston Record. He says: ‘‘When | was marcied—it was several years ago—I was 1n receipt of a comfortable income, for a young man, and we went_to housekeeping in very good style. I had saved up about $1,200 and furnished house with it hand- somely. Ipmd a month rent. We lived 'in a fashionable quarter of the city and traded at a market and grocer, near by. Paid cash for all purchases. kept a little cash-book for the first year. We had a great deal of company at first. ‘The beefsteaks, chops, roast beef, and fowl were frequent visitors. 1 bought closely and we were careful and prud- ent. Never anounce of food was wasted. At the close of the first yearT reck- oned up my expenditures for the table and struck an average. I won't say [ was not astomished at the result, for I was somewhat amazed to find that I had spent an average of only seventy-eight cents a day throunnoufihb the year. That is $5.46 per weck. Rentsand “pro- visions are much cheaper now. 1 will admic I cannot see why, with a thrifty wife, 2 man cannot get along with $15 a week."" CONNUBIALITIES. As a model husband he t At least In his wife's eyes— ‘Who never says that he would like to kes high rank— spank The baby when he erys. Among the Zulus young people fight and get married. llere” they get married and tight. Tid-Bits says “a good wife is the guide post of life.” “That’s so; and the guide post she uses on a refractory husband is the roll- ing pin, R “tongue-support” has been patented by & Kansas man. Married men need not worry about It, though, for it is not intended aS a support fora woman's tongue, but a wagon’s. It was a ({mmg Boston bride who ealled her husband to secount for speaking of her as his “‘ducky darling,” She said the com- parison was perfectly odious, as there was 80 much quackery about a duck, and, more- over, it always waddled. A dispatch from Morley, Mich., announces the elopement of Hiram Bryant and Lertha Knapp, & domestic who has been employed in numerous fawilies in Morley, a very fimre looking girl who has heretofore borne a good character. Mr. Bryant has a wife and a large family of grown-up children and is about sixty years of age. Heis a very large wan, welghing 275 pounds, A toreign correspondent tells the follow- ing story: *“There was an Englishman on board, the younger son of a lord, who may be said to represent a type ot husband much sought after in certain limited circles in the United States. This Englishman married, several months ago, the damihwr of a wealthy Boston gentleman. Ho spends three months every year in Boston with his wife and the other nine months in England alone. He has never taken his wife over with him to his own home. ~He was asked b{ a friend on this trip Wh{ he did not bring his home wife. *Oh,’ said he, ‘she is kept at hlonnz by a baby, [ believe, or something like that,” " Generally speaking, the Japanese men make kind and affectionate husbands, and the women make virtuous and exemplary wives and mothers; and the children are cenulnlr the happiest little imps in the world; their parents fondle and spoil them most effeetually, and at the same time never lose their control over thew, says a writer in the Brooklyn Magazine. The "husband has absolute control over the person of his wife; at the same time, Ome never sees a man strike a woman in Japan: yet there is con- s.derable gluohlnl and slapping done on oec- when those strange and ungovern- lls of exasperating ugliness known ums settle down upon their matri- horizon. On these occasions there is considerable free hitting, biting and scrateh- ing indulged in on both sides of the house, bniuu‘mm strength of the husband in- variably leaves him master of the situation, d the belligerent housebold speedily re- sumes its serene aud bappy course. SPARKLING EE_MS OF JEST, The Paying Out of Oold Oasha Grave and Seriops [Task. BILL NYE'S SIAMESE TWINS. The Royal Infant—Spring's Features— Kootty Prob¥pmé—A Gennine Curiosity—becidedly Na- tional dJesting The Royal Baby®s Got a Cold. Written for the Sunday Bee by R, Amilie, Seawise the cablegrat be rolled, ‘The royal baby's got a cold ! Where ¢ the mighty men of ‘T'he tocsin coarders at the gate? The brawny clansman tarters dressed? Why let they thro' so dire a guest? A cold!a wretched, sneezing cold! ‘The foe of babehood, dire and bold, Where was the draw-bridge. where, where, ‘The Chawmberlin and Premier? The woolsack, Privy Seal and Crown? ‘The judge with wig and ermined gown? What treason dire must there have been, To et a common cold come in? For plebian babes, we've no regret, ‘T'o see them sneeze, and whine, and fret; And noses luminous as the sun, With goose grease largely piled thereon But for a royal bavy lad, To have a cold, is just too bad ! But colds were ever saucy things; What care they for the right of kings? ‘They ask no favors of a prince; ‘The royalist noses yield, and wince; And so this prineely little kid Must meekly house this guest unbid; Just like the plainest babe of men's For all the difference nature kens. The royal baby’s got a cold ! Now wasn’t the intruder bold, To pass the warders of the gate, The chamberlain, the men of state, And come with no one to announcs And on this princely scion pounce, Without a ‘by your leave,” or care, 1f even the queen herself were there? The Late Siamese Twins, Chang and Eng were raised up to meet a certain demand. The cri and y were there to meet it. ame at a time when the world was clamoring for a pair of buff' twins united at the sternum by means of a light yellow first mortgage bond. But Chang and Eng were not happy, even with their great wealth and the fame they had acquired working an en- tirely new vein, Nature, which united them so closely, had not given them the same ideas and thoughts.” They agroed on nothing, it is said. ¢ One was a Knight of Pythias, while the other was a Royal Arch” Mason, and the meetings were on the same evenings. People who knew them said it was painful to see the stronger of the two ln:ll the other twin away to a Knight of ythias meeting in which he felt no inter- cst, or snake him to 3 revival when he wanted to go to a golored ball, A neighbor tells me that while Chang was a Laptist, and believed in immersion, Eng was a doubter, but had to go in with his brother and be immersed through a hole in the ice. One wanted to secede at the breaking ow of the war, while the other wanted to save the country intact and fight under the starry banner free, Those who will; read the history of this strange brace of coftee-colored gen- tlemen will agree with me that even though you strike the popular feeling aad “secure the public apore freak of nature, it'is not ail sunshine and gladness, Chang and En;. though bound to- ether thro life, could not make their wives live together in the same 1 but when i house even, and so they were compelled to maintain separate establishments. and o from one to the other trying to allay iscord. One of the twins was a good man, while it is said that the other was a very successiul sinner. In case of resurrec- tion it is not yet fully settled how it will be arranged, and the question has been frequently 'raised sinco their death whether they will or will not jointly visit the realms ot the blessed and the i squealing precincts of the BiLL NYE, The Spring. Edward E. Kidder, In the spring tho poliician, toiling carhytoil- < lul o, Workct,l up his little boowmlet with an eye to In thespring the circusagent sounds his loud, detiant erow. And with marrow-curdling whoppers gets his work in for the show ; ‘While the trainer who engages to confront the savage beast And be regularly mangled has his salary in- creased. In the spring the native opera playeth west- ward under Loc! While the saturnine Meyerbeer to Bock. Now the worn and weary actor, shabby, dis- engaged, and blue, Daily wonders how In hades he will iive the summer throuszh ‘Whilethe foreign prima donna, as she sails ‘across the sea, Loaded down with Yankee dollars, smiles the smile of fiendish glee. In the spring the canny farmer plies the white-wash brush with zest— Gayly bullds another pig-pen and awaits the summer guest. In the spring the watering-places are of wflmr s garb bereft (It they only dealt in water they’d be very badly left). Now the trumpet of the leaguers loudly through the country calls, And the very air about us blossoms out in bats and balls. While the groves, the sands, the rivers, taste- fully by nature girt, Whisper of thé torrid season when excursion- ists excurt! e, usician turns from Some Knotty Problems. A certain saloon sells §78 worth of liquid refreshments per day, yet its re- ceipts are only How is this? (This problem 18 inserted by request of the pro- prietor of the establishment referred to, who only spends one hour of the twenty- four 1n the saloon, which, during the rest of the day, is manned by an urbane and accomphished bartun:ien) e When the youth of the period is at his desk in the store, an hour seems about ninety minutes in length; but when he is at his girl's house in the evening, its du- ration does not seem more than fifteen minutes. Explain l.l'fls. 'y Henry and William are playing mar- bles. Henry has three marbles and Will- inm has twenty-four. . Henry is a mes- senger-boy and has a letter in his pocket marked “'In great haste,” but he will not uit until he has won' William's quut{'- our marbles. Itis now 10 a. m. At what time will the letter be delivered if Henry has luck? wte A certain horse car carrles sixty-three assengers at 5 cents each on one of its rips. The conductor turns in $1.80, and it is not a good day for conductors either. Query: Ifit were a good day,how much would he wrn in, and if so why? v A certain lhuntric:l manager shows that there were #3850 in the house at_the per- formance of his company. Yet there were only 200 people present at §1, Where did the other come from? Business is Business. . mlllhyo'n‘n.\illl zutkm ex-county e bank. s cashier of the bai T he check ig all right, sir In Jud A stranger, “‘but the evidence you offer in identifying yourself as the person to whose order it'is drawn is scarcely swfli- by i “I've known you to hang a man on less evidence, judge,” was the stranger's re- sponse, “'Quite likely,"" revlied the ex-judgo, comes to letting go of cold cash we have to be careful.’ Hidlot and Hamlet, aid the Kidlet from his seatlot To the Hamlet on the stage: iood, my Hamict, lere's an egglet, Thoueh it doesn’t suit your aze For, dear Hamlet, you're aware that You're exceedini young and fresh, While this egglet--bet a keg, that 1¥'s mature in ita profesh.” Then the Kidlet throws the egglot, Hits the Hamlet in the leglet, And the dudelet in the tront row (Cries to riny tne curtain down. Then the Kidlet, ah, 1 fear it, Makes a bidlet for a beerlet, While the Hamlet, like a elamlet Wanders silent through the town. Like a dreamlet or a gleamlet, On the surface of a streamlet, Searching for carbolic acid, Goes he silent through the town. Too National. Wall Street News: ““Tennessee is no state fo: a man to make money n,’" he .n:nlid on the train coming up from Nush- ville. “Well, I bought o saw-mill at sherif’s sale for $300, and had to_sell it back to the former owner for $175. “How did you haye to *“Why, do you suppose I'm fool nuff' to stand out about §125 when a feller has ot a shotgun loveled oo me. They are national in their ways of doin’ business, and I'm going back to Wisconsin.” From Me, A dashing young damsel from Me., With a face most uncommonly Ple., Had sueh cute little Ft., That when seen on the St., Young “Cholly” was driven Inse. "T'was a few hours ago down in Me., That I kissed a dear angel nawmed Je. If rhe whispered refre,, "Twas too low to be ple., So I did so age, and age. He Was a Genuine Curiosity. V. inducen: h you offer for a curiosity? ed a manofa dime museum proprictor. “‘What has he done?"” asked the latter, he & bridge jumpe No, indeed,” o eaten eighty-two quails in ungduys?" op."! 1as he fasted forty days?"’ “Naw."” *‘Been in a trance, and been cured of a of sixteen ' years' standing by s he the youngest soldier of the late “No, sir.” “‘Has he abnormally Iarge feet?” *Nothing of the kind. “Has he an elastic ski “No." o “No. “Then whatis he? Where does the curiosity coms in?'"’ “Why, sir, the curiosity is that he never did any of those things.” *‘Bring him along. L'l give him $1,000 a week. ats glass?"’ o RELIGIOUS. Pews both in Trinity and Graco churech, New York, are to be free when the present rentals expire. ‘There is to be a Scoteh Presbyterian church in Boston in whic the services will be con- ducted 1n Gaelic. ‘The largest parishes in the Lutheran church are to be found in_central Russia. One of thess numbers 300 villages, and cowm- prises 55,000 souls. ‘The remarkable statemeont is mado that out Thomason & Goos' ADDITION, of 35000 men between eighteen and forty years of age in Milwaukee" onl; nglish-speaking Protestant 203 attend prayermeetings. 1t is proposed to erect a monnment to Rob- ert Snow, the founder of the first Sunda; school in Brooklyn. The estimated cost will be about ten thousand dollars, to be raised by subscriptions from Sunday school schol- ars., ‘The Union Theological school at Tokio, Japan, nuu\mrled b{ all the evangelical Protestant churches, has nine professors and lecturers in as many different depas two of whom, Messrs, Ibuka aud natives, ‘The Methodist church added to her mem- bership last year 100,000, and the Methodist church south records a gain of about seventy- tive thousand. This is a gain to the former of about 5 per cent of her mewmbership, and to the latter over 7 ver cent. The rumor that Dr. Parker, of London, will _deliver a eulogy of llenry Ward Beecher at Plymouth "church on "June 24, and preach several times there, was un- founded. Dr. Parker will not be heard here in public until he begins his regular courseof lectures. Rev. L. Lloyd, of the Church of Englana, who has been laboring in Fuh Chow since 1576, states that the 1,600 converts whom he tound on going to Fuh Chow have been in- creased to a grand total of 6,000, and of these he bimself has been privilezed to baptize one thousand. Children’s day In the Presbyterian church will be observed this year on June 12, Last year a thousand Presbyterian Sunday schools apt this festival of the ymln&z. 1t is hoped this year it will be observed by the entire 6,000 schools of the church with their aggre- gate of 500,000 of teachers and scholars. Itis estimated that over five hundred thou- sand dollars will be at the disposal of the Philadelphia Yearly M“em“i ot Kriends, be- queathed by the Iate John M. George for the establishment of a boarding school, to be lo- cated in eastern Pennsylvania, and to re- celve children of Friends and such others as a committea of the Yearly meeting may de- cide proper. During the reign of Queen Victoria there have been erected 6,500 buildings for worship in the Church of England, as against 3,000 by all other religious communions put together. Seven new dioceses have been founded at home, and sixty-two in the colonies. Within the last haif of her reizn, £51,000,000 has been voluntarily subscribed for church purposes, and £22,000,000 in elementary education in voluntary schools. ‘The youne assistant minister of a Fifth- avenue church in New York 18 reported to have made his way into great social favor by making the influential women in his congré- gation believe they had sug ed the best polnts in his discourses, In making a pas- larnl call he would declare one of his hostess’ remarks admirable and beg leave to uss it the next Sunday, He would then introduce an embellished Torm of the remark, intro- ducing it with *‘One of the brightest minds I know,” or “From a beautiful source comes the idea,” y 55 are in Churches, and rtments, gimi, are e IMPIETIES. “Mamina,” said a~small boy the other day, “do little boy angels wear shioes and stocking in summer time?’ ““No, my son.” “Do they go barefooted?’ “Yes. " *And do they stay out atter sundown?” I presume 5o, “Well, don’t the stars tickle their feet when they twinkle?’ The fond mother was non- pulsed. 0 A teacher in a Sunday school, wishing to Impress his class with tie necessity of faith asked the class why did Moses 1ift up the serpent in the wilderness? None ot the class knew except one. He said Mo because he knew it wouldn’t bite. the same youth who said the Jews made a golden calf beeause they didn't have gold ©enough to make the wholé cow. A little Sixteenth streot girl was inter- acher. “Ain't God good? “Of course 1¢ is my SAnd it isn’t wrong : d. *Certainly "That's what 1 told mamma.” “Why, No, sir, not exactly : but at breal fast this morning When pa took a mouthful he said ‘good God,’ a) nmln'lnl told him there was no use in swearing, even Af the cotffee n't the best in the wor inful angularities of ill-mated mmru:i‘ are brought toa point when the wife punctuates them with a tlat-iron. M. A. Upion & Co. AGENTS. Beautiful Residence Lots! Just South of Hanscom's Par Unly 2 Miles £ Court House The finest suburban lots around Omaha, 250 fect above - = (=] the Missouri riv sell at One - Half the Price. or, about as near as the “poor farm,” but HANDSOME SITES FOR Modest, Medium or Flegant Homes Iuvestigate this and sccuro some of this fine property before prices advance, CONSIDER That the property is only two miles from Omaha’s business center, That the altitude is high. That the location is beautiful. . That there are hourly Dummy Trains, That street cars are nearly there now. That a Cable line will go through the addition this summer, That the price is less than is asked for property tue same distance in other directions. That the railways all eenter there, That the Belt line runs along the entire west side. That the addition nearly. corners on tue line of the B. & M. and U. P, railways at the summit. That there is a depot there—just finished, In fact it haseverything to make the property the very best paying in- vestment in real estate today, Look intoit. Examine it carefully. Don’t buy a lot until you are convinced that there is no possibility of incurring a loss. These handsome residence lots are situated between Omaha and South Omaha. Two cities that are rapidly hecoming ones Don’t Wait Until improvements are made that will make these lots very valuable. Buy ndw and reap the beneflt of the advance that is sure to come, 170 Beautiful Lots 176 Purchase while you can select choice ones at ground-floor prices, Plats and information on application. Carriages in waiting at all times to show property. Callon or correspond with M. A. UPTON & CO 1509 Farnam St. OMAHA, NEB. Warranty deed and guaranteo of title from the Midland Guarantee & Trust Company, with each purchase,