Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, January 9, 1887, Page 10

THE VAGARIES OF WEDLOCK. The Model Wife and the Gains and Losses of Matrimony. SOUR COURTSHIP IN CHINA, Enforcing a Marriage Promise in Virs ginia—Ancient Marriage Kites in Algeria and Lapland—Wife« Hunting in the West, The Model Wife, Julia Miles Dunn 8lia. with a milk pail on her arm, Turnsaside with ier young elieeks glow- ne, And sees down the lane the stow, dnil tread Of the drove of cows that ure homeward zoing, “Bessie,” he said—at the sound she _turned, Her blue eyes full of childish wonder— “My mother is feeble and lame and old; ['need a wife at my farmhouse yonder. “My heart is lonely, my lome is drear, I need your presence ever near me; Will you be my guardian angel, dear, Queen of my household to guide and choor me?” 1t s a pleasant sound,” she said A household queen, a guiding spirit, To warimn your heart and cheer your home, Anda keep the siinshine ever near it. Bt [ am only a simple child So my motlier says in her daily chiding, Aud what must a goarding angel do ¢ When she firstbegins her work of guid- ing?’ “Well, first, dear Bessic, a smiling face 1s déarer far than the rarest beauty And my motler, fretfol, 1nme and ofd, ¢ Will require a daughter's loving duty. You will see to her flannels, drops and tea, And talk with hier of lunes and liver; Giye her your eheerful serviee dear he Lord he loveth & cheerful giver.’ “\'fl)\l me see that my breakfast is piping 0! And rub the clothes to a snowy whiteness; Make golden butter and snowy rolls, And polish things to a shining brightness: Will darn my stockings and mend my coats, And see that the buttons are sewed on tightlys You will keep things cheerful and neat and sweet, That home’s altar fires may still burn brightly. “You wlil read me at evening the “The tedious winter nights beguiling; And never forcet that the sweefest 18 a cheerful face that is alw In short, you'll arrange in a general way For a sort of sublunary heayve For home, dear Bessie, say what we may 1s the highest spherc to a woman given “The lark sanz out to the bending sky, ‘The bobolink piped in the nodding’ rushes, And out of the tossing clover-blooms the sweet, clear song of the meadow \es, io, listenin», paused awhile, Then said, with a sly glance at her neigh- bor, “But, Jolin—do you mean—that is to say, Wiiat shall I get for all this labor? ‘0 be nurse, companion, and servant girl; To make hone's altar-fires burn brightly; To wash and iron and sernb and cook, And always be cheerful, neat snr!zmlf' “To give up liberty, home and friends, Ny, even the name of a mother's giving, To do all this for ones board and clothes; Why, the life of an angel isn’t worth liv- ing!” And Bessie gayly went her way Down through the iields of scented clover, But never since that sunny day Has she won a glance from her rustic lover. The lark sings ont to the bending sky, ‘I'he clouds sail on as white as H “The clovers toss in the summer wind, But Bessie lost that chance forever, Marmage in China. Brooklyn C m: “A Chinese love Jetter! Have [ any old-fashioned Chinese love lettersin my trunk? Have L a gilt- edged Chinese billet-doux with a mono- gram like a crow’s track? There was never a love ietter written in Chinese. No Chinese maiden ever penned a billet- doux or sent a valentine.” Rather sadly was this said by a roman- tic young Chinaman, Mr. Hong Wing, who is noted among the Chinese for the x;-iu with which he plays on the mando- and “In China,” continued he, never sees hig wife until he is her for life, and sometimes he does not sce her then, for she may refuse to re- move her veil until three days after the wedding, If he doesn’t like her he cannot get a divoree, but he may marry another wife, and then another and another, until he has gone through the blindfold lottery often enough to get one that suits lam. Some of these Chmese Crasuses have hundreds of wives. There was an old bachelor who took 1t into his head to get married one winter, and he married 200 wives before he got through. The last wife is the favorite, but the first one is the boss.” “If a man neyer sees his wife before their wedding, how does he make love to He doesn’t make love to her. His mother arranges the mateh, and his fu- ture mother-in-law makes love to him. 1t a sour courtsnip. Children are fornally engaged to other children that they have never seen, at the tender age of nine or ten, and after an engagement of ten or {welve years they get married.” “Does a Chinaman ever marry his cousin?" **No; a marriage of cousins was never heard of in China, A wan may no more marry his cousin in China than in En- gland a man_ may marry his deceased wifo's sistér. You talk about your old families here, and your oldest’ families aro only five generations old, In China families are seventy-five and eighty gen- erations old, and evermember has acom- pleto record of his ancestors for all these generations, The remotest kinship pre- vents marriages in China, and if two familics have the faintest imaginable kinship seventy-five generations back their children cannot marry.” “What are the most common families in your country " ‘*I'he Chens, the Wongs and the Lees. ‘L'he Chens are the Smiths of China, the Wongs are the Joneses and the Lees are the Browns. A Mr. Chen would marry a Miss Wong, but he wouldn't marry a Miss Chen. Perheps that is the reason why the old folks make the matches, It prevents the Chens from falling in love with one another.’” **Are the Chinese ladies cultivated” “Oh, yes; they can read and write, draw, paiut and embroider. They never 0 out on the street with their husbands. f & Chinese man and woman were to walk on the street arm-im-arm in their country, as American men and women do, they would be mobbed. The women stay indoors, If they wish to visit their mothers they take conveyances. yme- times they may be seen walking in the park with their children,” You sre married?” “Yes." T'o o Chinese lady:” No; to an American. Icame to this country when a boy eleven years old. Though 1 was 000 miles from China, my mother betrothed me to a little Chinese girl I had never seen, My mother used to write to me how small her feet were and how 'irully she was, and what a beautiful cat- ike nose she had. When I was 20 years old mother sent me a. letter saying T was old enough to get married and must come %ack to China and marry the girl.” *What did you think about it?" “1 thought 1 was old enough, and so fell b in love with an ,and married her, We bad our pictures taken, and I sent one to my mother, together with an ac count of the wedding, which I transla from an American newspaper uto Chi nese."” 'What happened®”’ Tl next thiug 1 knew my unele and four cousins came on to the United States man edded to THE OMAHA DAILY BEE my. 1was | crence to imprisonment; the ceremony and had me arrested for b taken ‘before a court and tried. My uncle went on the sta and swore that I had a wife in China “What did you do then*" “I thought 1 was in a box, as you Americans say. The judge asked the witnesses how old I was when I left China, They replied that my mother had picked her ont for me, and that, in Chine vas the same as marriage. said that they didn’t have any ¢ statutes in this conntry, and my nnocently replied that” he would send to China tor some. Everybody in the court laughed, and, as T had lived in the town ever ginco [ came to America, all knew that I had left China a lim.»m? o the jury acquitted me. My uncle told the judge that he would be hehead whei he went back to China, which was a monstrous fin with which he intended are the judge. I have never been to Chinx, and suppose the little girl whom I never saw is a grass widow. 'oor child!” An Algerian Wedding, Brooklyn Magazine: A marriage calo- bration in Algeria is an interesting relic of ancient customs. The bridegroom oos to bring the bride, and the guests assembled outside the house will t s return. Soon the sound of pipes is heard coming from the summit of some neigh- boring hill, and the marriage procession approaches the bridegroom’s house, The pipers slways come firstin the procession, then the bride mufiled up in a veil, riding amule led by her lover. Then comes a bevy of gorgeously dressed damsels, sparkling with silver ornaments, after which the friends of the bride follow. The procession stops in front of the bridegroom’s house, and the girl's friends line both sides of the pathway. The pipers march off on one side, while the bridegroom lifts the girl from the mule and holds her in his arms. The girl’s friends thercupon throw earth ut the bridegroom when he hurries forward and carries her over the threshold of his house. Tho: yout the door beat him with olive branches, amid much iaughter, In the evening, on such oceasi tho pipers and drummers are cal the women dance, two at a_timc ing each other: nor does a couple desist until, punting and exhausted, they step aside to make room for another. The dance has great energy ot movement, though the steps small and the changes of position slight, the dancers only circling round occasionally. Butthey swing their bodies about with'an_astonishing chergy and suppleness. — As Jeaves flutter before the gale, so do they vibrate to the music they shake; the; they cxtend qui and their minds and frenzy of the dance, while the other women, looking_on, encourage by their high, piercing, thrilling cries, which add to the noise of the pipes and drums. abandon A Lapp Wedding. Down the room was a long table, coy- ered with coarse cloth, perhaps, 1f for nd folks, but much more likely in its native bareness, says a writer in Notes and Queries, describing a wedding in Lapland, Upon the arrival of the wed- ding party the feast began, Boiled me was brought in a large dish, or justas likely piled up on the table till it was full.” On the top of this came dirty bowls full'ot grease. Round this savory and appetizing repast gathered the hungry Lapps, ravenous as wolves, and fell upon itwith appetites that would astonish any western dweller in a cultured land. They came to eat, and they did eat! Lum meat were seized with natural forks. gers as black as coals, innocent of w; for unknown periods, grime—plunged into the grease, and then, all lu nd dripping, cony the eavernous mouths of those as: After this came the desert—reindeer se, cut into pieces, dipped into the rrease, and caten with & horn spoon or fingers. Hugh draughts of corn brandy wash all down. Right dilligently s the bottle plied, and cver and anon a quaff from the grease bowls to keep the brandy from taking too much eflect, the gre leaving its traces on the drinkers’ till at [ast they shone 1 their fatty coat- ing. Now began the “real wedding joy?' Fiioate! lughig:and. shouting v Tthall the vigor of powerful and healthy lungs. Songs were improvised 1ly scnse- less, because the improvisor was So0. Soon some of the guests fell asleep on the table and were shoved onto the seats—or under them -against the walls ny such of their comrades as were able to take part in the next proceedings, i. e., dancing— if such it could be ealled. sh rose tempest of shouting and jumping—a wild secene, we told, our ears cannot con- ceive, ldlers scraped and seraped and were encouraged to scrape yet louder, while some pp, more musical than the others, beat time with the pot-hook on the kettle-bottom. Soon the floor was dotted with the forms of those who were o0 drunk to jump any more, and there they lay. snoring, while their comrades hopped and roared over them, ll they, too, fell amid the slain. The general ending was that the whole party slept together on the floor. Wife-Hunting in the West. Southern Utah Times: Ab Lehman, the veteran marrier, drove into Frisco to-duy and bought a $100 “‘wedding tronsseau,” 50 to speak. The outfit was really an clegant one, consisting of dress suit, tooth-pick boots, derby hat and black kids. With bis gray b it close, clean shaven and starched, Ab seemed a col freshman, To the obliging clerk wlio sugzested silk socks and_underwear he replied: “Young man, I've married three gosh durned fine women, 'n 1 dian’t spark none of 'em a week. They’ ad now, un’ I'm goin’ to marry 'nother on 1 dunno who 1t'll be, but the gal ’at gits me’'ll bave to be — quick 'bout it, an’ she'll have to take me without no frilled night-shirt an’ fiixins.” Accompunied by w. Fowler, the sheep bonanzite, he started for Fillmore, Utah, by team, in the morning, where they intend to rustie for a wife apiece among the schoolmarms, Ola Marriage Ui 'he celebration of marr waus first ordained by Pope Inuocent I11. about the r 1200, Before this date the only ceremony was that of the man lead- ing his bride home to his house. But 1t was not until several centuries after In- nocent’s edict that the injunctions con- tained in it were generally obeyed. Both forms of marriage remained In vogue, and they were respectively lled “‘par devoir™and “par amour”—marriage of duty (i. e.: to the church) and of B, Both were legal, But the church frowned on the latter, and, being all-powerfal, gradually edueated the mind of the peo- rlu il there was a stigma attached to it. By an old law marriages could be ¢ brated in the church porch or atthe church door remonies, ges in churches Enforcing a Marriage Promise, Clieago Tribune: Lord Chief Justice Coleridge's assertion that “the law grows and adapts itself to the changed eircum- stances of the times seems well sup- ported by a judicial ruling just rendered y 8 j 0 at the White Sulphur Springs -8 resort given over to coque! irtations, and fashionable follics ations in general. A oung woman had been betrothed to an inglishmun who was stopping tempora- rily at the springs, but as the day for the wedding approached she iged her mind and positively refused to comply with the terms of her engagement. 1he English suitor, who appears to be & man of original views, instead of proceeding agaiust the woman in an action for a breach of promise had her arrested and ken before a justice of the peace, who assumed equity jurisdiction and issued a decree requiring the fair defendant to make a speeitic performance of contract or be committed for coutempt of court The defendant chose watrimony 1o pref was performed, and the wnwilling bride now asks to have the marriage set aside on the ground of judicial coerci Lawyers may deny the jurisdic the Virginia justice and question the process he employed, but that fanction- a1y makes, neveriheless, a strong argu ment to sustain his position. He voints to the legal rule that, in cases where the mere paynient of money or damage an inadequate remedy for the injury in- flicted, the courts take the ground of equity and compel a specific performance of contract. He holds that a contruct of marriage is pre-eminentiy one of this nature. Money cannot compensate for the anguish and disappointment caused by the act of the defaunlting party 1 hence the injured person should | lowed to demand a literal compliance with the contract. Heretofore it has been assumed that action for damages was the only remedy in case of the hreach of promise of marriage, but it can readi- ly kn- seen that the Virginia justice rests his ruling on a familiar prineiple, al though he applies it in a manner farly reyolutionary. e claims that if s doc- trine is strictly entorced, and matrimon- ial negotiations and conteact promises are subjected to the rule of specific per- formunce, it will prove an effective cure for the evils of coquetry and do away with distressing doubts and uncertain- ti This claim, however, by no means clear. Ot course if the courts as- sume equitable jurisdiction over prom- 1ses of marriage there must be, up to the time the ceremony is performed, an ever- present fear of an injunction or writ of mandamus in favor of some one assert- ing a prior promise. Even after the cards are out and the guests bidden the ceremony may be stopped by a tempo. ry imjunction against either the bride or the groom. Up to the last moment any discarded suitor may give bond and socure a temporary injunction at least, and if his proofs are good have the writ made permanent. Thus the new rule would be productive of harassing doubts and uncertainties, and few young women could face the approaching wedding day with unvexed confidence. Morcover, in the case of two discarded suitors the rule us to specitic performance could appiy only in favor of one, and the other must necessarily be content with damages—an inequality the law eannot be supposed to sanction. The rule proposed by the Virginia justice 18 not satisfactory, and the courts will do well to cling to the old doctrine. _THWARTED BY HOUNDS. A Convict's Unsuccessful Attempt to Escape from Prison, Philadelphia Press: \! there, Tom, Isaw a shadow on that center y ot just now or U've the blinks,"” whispered lookout No.1 to his companion. His trained hand moved the bright reflector in the cupola on the eastern penitentiary, and his keen eyes scanned the massive walls that arose like somber headstones markmg the tombs of a thousand souls whose overt acts had buried them from the world, some for a few years, others for a lifetime. It was a stormy night seemed to have formed a compact to vent their fury on the little house of frame and glass that afforded shelter to the men whose duty it was to keep guard over the- condemned confined in the gloom below. Lookout No. 2 laid aside his pipe and arose. His e; followed the moving vs of the reflector, but nothing excent bare wall rewarded hisscrutiny. “Blinks, I guess,” he grumbled, as he resumed his pufling, Lookout 1 was restless, been an eseape not long befor Black, burglar, sentenced for five yes had sealed the walls. Another sunccess- ful dash for liberty might result dis- astrously for those whose duty 1t was to tch by night. Lookout No.1 knew wnd did not propose to take chances. His companion pufled aw contentedly, but No. 1 kept moving the stremun of light over the walls in search of an objcet which he failed to iind. Directly three blood-hounds, kept in the as an extra precaution ‘he hounds rest uneasy to-night muess the storm’s disturbed ‘em, mumbled lookout No. 2. The bark was follow and the Lookont No. 1 made no reply, but tl wiis an expression of anxiety in his ey as he glanced to where his musker stood, charged to earry & messenger of death should the occasion demaud. uddenly the yelping of the hounds was drowned by the clangi The men in the cupd guns, threw up the windows, and stood ready for action. The alarm meant an Below all was confusion. y keepers sprang to their feet and shed from cell to cell, peering through ach wicket, and calling out, “all right” found their charfzes within. ally a voice way down one of the long dors sang ont,**3,500 is missing.’” That was Judson Wolcott’s number. He was known as the terror of Luz county. Others besides the ki the announcement, and rejoiced that one of their numper had madea dash for lib- erty. They hoped that he would be suc- 1, and regretted that it was not a neral delivery that they, too, mmght ne outside world before the time d by court. Walcott, tall, stout s had wronched the' bars, and bolts oft' his cell door and, armed with one of the bars, had started on his flight to freedom. But for the hounds he might have succeeded. He had scaled the wall near the center parapet, and reached the yard. With the aid of a rope-ladder, which he had made and seceretly guarded for days in his dreary ¢ expected to clear the high wall that draws the line between conviet and fugi tive. It wus a strange sight that met the eyes of the keepers who rushed into the yard with lanterns and drawn revolver Against the wall, with both hands cluteh: ing the throat of a hound, stood the con- viet, His s blazed | those of a maniae. His striped garb had been torn into shreds, and blood poured from deep lacerations on his limbs and body. Near him lay two crippled hounds. They had fullen beneath the erushing blows of the iron bar. Walcott had lost his only weapon of defense in the struggle, and when the third hound sprang at his throat his brawny hands were all he had with which to fight the savage brute, “I surrend tage off your cursed wan-eater,” groaned the foiled conviet ‘The hound was removed and Waleott was taken to the hospital department, where he remained until his wounds were healed, Not long after this he made an- other attempt to escape, but was caught after he had scaled one of the inner walls, He was then placed n a more secure cell, where he remained until his term ex pired, not long ago. —~— A Shrewd Advance Ageut, Chicago Tribune: Advanc opera company to hotel cle direct me to the residence of man k—C sir; but may I ask what you w clergyman ¥ gont—Why, of course. I want to throw one of our colored lithographs in his front yard, It's only ten days until our first performance comes off here, and if we expect the elergy to hold a meoting and denounce our ballet it is high time they had notice of our.coming. e At the bottom of the movement to rid Newport of the divorce facilities oflered are some of the best known snd largest property owners there. SUNDAY THE JEWEL CASE OF .IOKERS.] The Tender Taking Ways of the Fascina- ting Boarder. A GOVERNOR KNOCKED OUT. The Mighty Fist of Sallivan—English as She s Wrote—The Shrewd Ad- vance Agent—The Ameri- can Style. The Fascinating Roarder, George Birdeeye in Tid-Bits, The other night we sat around The table, near a Said Mre. T, with swiles You'll have ono meniber A fascinating boarder, he— But hush ! he's at the door,” Allhow hetalked! Of everything How much and well he knew ! *Mid wisdom, wit and sextiment, Tlow f1at the moments flew He justive did to every theme, And w his dinner, too . A very taking fellow, yes, . Lo that we all agreed. "Twas just before desser His nose began to blee Seized handkerchief, excused himself, And left the room With speed. How flat the conversation fell! It seemed to lose all zest, wiums were passed upon comrade of the b ing Mrs. T, new-found guest, “The dinner done, we left the room 1n boarding-house pell-melly But when we teached the upper flocrs, . We found all was not well: The boarders at eachi other looked, As if transfixed by spell. That taking fellow we admired— That hoarder-—where was he? Ask of the jewelry and clothes Wo shall no lonzer see, Ask of the pawnshon, the police— Ask any one but me ! Tonight ore-~ he rose— He Knocked the Governor Out, Kansas City Star: Gov. Porter of Inai- ana is noted for his child-like and bland methods when he goes ont to speak dur- ing an clectioncering tour. Ho always assumes the familiarity of knowin, 1 people. On one oceasion he went down to Franklin, twenty miles below Indian- apolis. He arose 1o speak with his face wreathed in smiles, and began: “Ladies and gentlemen, it aflords me great pleasure to meet my old friends whom 1 have known so long."" At this point some shrill voice in the audience shouted: ame 'em; name ‘em, governor.” Th concerted the governor that he did not recover from itall the evening. Everything Goes. New York Sun: “Would you take a poor man's last cent for a glass of gin asked a tramp, in a reproachful voice: nly," rl'nln-x'l the bartender, that's what I'm here for.” Yaid the tramp, as he retarned to the counter and produced his st cent, “‘there you are,” and he walked sorrowfully but hastily hway. Advertising Dodges for Actresses. The diamond dodge with actresses is U out. They can no longer get ces in the papers. on it, not even pocketbooks with the photographs of their great-grandmothers in will answer. Why don't_they get up a lonely wood story at midnight and an assault by three ruflinns, who, as the moon rolls ont from under cloud, exelaim: *Depart un- harmed, peerless lady, thy great beanty saved thee,” Or a pretty thing would be: ““As Miss Adabella de - ler was walking down Dr Thursday, o stranger thrust into her hand, and with the words long-lost brother!” ne fled. ge, when opened, contamed over 1alf a million 1n greenbacks.” Finding Out the Difference. Wail Street News: An old farmer in Wisconsin rode fourteen miles on a frosty morning to say to a friend in whom he had confidence: John, I bought $2,000 worth of silver mining stock a couple of months ago, and here's anotice about it.” “Ah, I see, it is nn assessmeitt ot seven dollars per share.’’ “Is an assessment a dividend ¢ “Wi no; one is money coming in, and theé other is money going out.’ “‘Well, that’s w] I wanted to know. 1f it was coming in [ was going to buy 1 house. ing it's going out LU've gotto sell a yoke of steers.”" The Fist of Sullivan. (After Stedman in Decembey Contury,) Look on this “duke” and know the fist ‘I'hat Boston holds in lioly awe; Within its compass lies the gist Of what he is—how large of paw. I'he man who sparred at bags of sand, And deepest sunk the quivering flesh, And by his prowess through the land Attained the height of the “perfes * * * * » * Lo, as I gaze, the massive form Attached to yon large paw appears, A type that takes the bit by “That few respeet—but e What better than this vulear fist, To show the grossness of the i “Tne bratal strength, the pugilist, Lhe coarse, the only Sullivan. Sam 1. Clover. Beginning in Time. “James, L don’t see but what I shall have to have a new bonnet if I'm going to the Permanent Exhibition with you. “‘Perm—why, that's three or four years from now. You'd better read up.” ©Q), yes, James, I do read up. But three or four years are none too long be- AN 10 et T T TR A the money in iime." Mistook the Entrance, “Is this the entrance to the hospital for aged and rheumatic women?” asked one of that kind, feebly. “No! no! grandmothe door of the overa hous attendant, “and them the hallet gals,"" e English as She is Wrote, H. €, Dodge in Detroit Free Press, ‘The teacher a lesson he taught, ‘The preacher a sermon he praught; “Ihe stealer, e stole; ‘The healer, he hole; And the screacher, he awfully scraught. “The long-winded speaker, he spoke; The poor oflice-seekar, e soke; “The runner, he ray The dunner, he da And the shricker, most horribly shroke, The flyer to Canada fle: The buyer, on eredit he The ‘doer, he did; The suer, he sid; And the liar (a fisherman lew), this is the stage *said the polite Wouen goin' iu is The writer, this nonsense he wrote; The fighter (an editor) tote: Lhie swimmer, he swain; Thie skimmer, he skam; And the biter was hungry and bote, Her Tongue is Her Forto, “Are you acquainted with Miss (iagsa- way?" asked Gus De Smith of Colonel Yerger. “Yes, indeed, English she us “Yes; her tongue is her forte, so to speak.” “Then it's a pity am. What elegant she ean’t hold it."” He Kept Hotel. “Yes,” he said, ‘1 was in California from 49 to 80, 50 L know something about the country.”” *'Did you dig much gold?' “Never dug any mean (o say that you were in ¢ 40 and didn’t dig for gold? that's what I m to say, 1 let people dig it for me; 1 kept a hotel Conldn't Help Tha Julian phn the Jours anew view of my calling once when the city editor sent me after something or other on the east side of town., my man, and approached him with “Are you Mr., Feldsticker?™ “Yah," he re- vlied. “lam a reporter of the Sun,” said L “I've been trymg ever since to think what he meant by bis reply. Per- haps he did not understand. me—or clse didn’t know what he was saying. At any rate, when I said I was a reporter of the San he replied in a fatherly tone, full of Kindly sympathy: “Sot Vell, vell, you can't help dot. What She'll Make of Him. Ah, Mrs. Tompkins, that's a fine boy, " said Flumley, patting the landlady’s son on the head. ~ “What do you mtend making of hims" “Well, I think of making a policoman of him. He never can be found when he's wanted." The Anerican Style, Jeff Jostyn. When a German mad is asked, “Ta become—as per the law And the gospels—some man's wife, ‘Ihen she sharply answers *Yaw If an Irish Iass it bo Who is sought in wedded bliss, Why, likewise, reply is shorl, And sheaequieses: “Yls."” But the Yankee girl, vou know, Lo her lover spimueth: “What, Well [ should smile!* in on the spot!” Apt to Be Late Home From the Club Husband —My dear, that isa long motto you are working. Wife~Yes, John, He reads on it: SWhile the lamp holds out to hurn The vilest sinner may return.' “Itis to be hung in the vestibule of the church, my dears” o, John; 'l hang it on the chande- jerin the hall.” Turn and Turn About. New York Journa “Ihie old man carried a hod, 1Lis son he got rich in molasses, The grandson a s grew, And took the first place in his' el A statesman, he rose to high rank, And he lefi a wreat name and much riches, s son took to dealing in stocks And lost everything but his—pantaloons. And thus goes the old whirligig— e son of this llizant wold "un Spent his money in bumming around— Now he carries a hod like the old "un, es. Pointers, An end man—the undertaker. A pillow sham—the sleeping car pillow. A green grocer--one who does not sand his sugar, he lap of luxury—the eat's mterview with the milk A swell aftiuir—next morning’s head. A e e THE GREEN STONE MINE. In the summer of 1886, during my vaca- tion, I was lazing along the shady side of Broker’s Row, m a small village on the western bank of the Mississippi, when my eye fell on a collection of munerals in a small show window, and I drifted inst the exhibit to give it my attention. T'he upper haif of the window hadn't been washed in forty years—it scemed-— but there w i on the lower pane. me of the firm shone out of this vitreous oasis of cleanliness. Messts, Ore & Nuggret were the owners of the shop, and judging by the display in the window, they were well fixed far as railway stocks, green looking bonds with unclipped coupons and sceur- ities of various sizes and colors were con- cerned, Al these brilliant achicvements of the lithographic art were loaded down with chunks of mineral. ome of the metaliferous fragments looked hike pieces of coal; others had the appearance of a nickle-plated, base-burning stoye after it had just been placed in position in a y down-town saloon, while others ened with golden threads like 'Lurk ish embroidery, and all had strips of paver ted upon them with hieroglyph- ies o small hand, intended to identify them, I suppose, and preyent them from getting mixed. At the lirst glance 1 mis- took the purpose of the minerals. I thought they w paper weights, but a clipping from a local journal Soon diss i this idea. The clipping, which pasted on one of the small side panes of the window, a brief but interesting Ore & Nuggot's dis- ¢ said, were sam- of ore from nearly 100 different mines, and they represented precious metals still slumbering in the womb of the earth to an aggregate alue of about $500,000,000. " The most valuable of gments eame, it went on to one mine, in Maori Land, whieh I have a vague conception lies somewhere in or around New Zealand, Frequent of this ore had resulted in the i 'y that every ton of 1t yielded from $300 to $700 in gold. This result did not include the possibilities of obtaining another $100 or #200 a ton from the silver that was mixed up with the gold, and suggested nothing concerning the additional money that might be received by disposing of the slag for fertilizing purposes, ‘The stock of this wonderful mine, with its millions in sight, was selling at nty o cents a share, and there was much left on the market. n't newspane articles on displa; ous study of the little hierog , dis covered n sample belonging to the Great n Stone mine, It was filagreed all over with gold tracings, and looked as if it might be a solid chunk of the yellow metal that had been dropped into a mud puddie and put on exhibition without being washed off. Some whispering genins, invisible but audible, got under my ear and prompted me' o buy this stock. I had some money—#431—in my inside vest pocket, and immediately the desire seized me' that money begin to burn a hole through my clothes, and I thought I could feel my right lung sizz ing with the heat. I hesitated—I tried to drag myself a from Ore & Nugget’ show-window tthe hole burned deeper and for several minutes I was in a wilde state of mentul bewilderment than was ever any erazy man that graced the in side of @ lunatie asylum, To be frank with the reader, I had saved up that money to get married on, The savings had comeslowly--only a tew dollars a week out of my seant salary- and I wanted to have at least the round #3500 betore 1 escorted bride to the [ It was now Ju!l) ding set for the following Deccmber— sember 24, Christmas rather politic stroke, I thought, as it made it possible for me to kill two presents with one stone—the Christimas present and th wedding present. 1 was engaged 1o the flowers ever smiled shone for. Itis unn we loyed each other fondly, decpl ¥ lastingly. She said she wouldn't b any body else and [ vowed by the stars above and all the gleaming lirmament that no othe e but she should bind me with rose chains and lead me cantive in matrimony. We were 1 upin each other, not in the grocery-store sense of the expression, but figu k ing, and had arranged the present and future to suit oursclves without giving heed or thought to how anybody else wanted the world to go. Her name was Lily, and the name was typical of the vrettiest girl the upon or the sun 1 found | PAGE purity of her ang down, and she was just turning twenty. 1 was an fait with the family: her father and moihier and brothers and sisters, who cleared out U gave us the exclu sive use of the sitting-room when I called Sund and Tuesday and Thursday nights, were all in favor of receivifig mo into closer relationship, and they all knew that we w to married in the best style of the clergyman’s art on Christmis eve, The Sundowns had no wealth of their own, so the acquisition of of my salary £500 would make an epoch in the as remarkable as any black or red day t had occurred in the history of our most famous bourses 1 was at the Sundowns on the evening of the day when the Grreat Green Ston mine stock had tempted me. Their ting-room was a neatly finished, modest- Iy proportioned and” comfortably fur- 2d apartment; there w v few on- vings on the walls; a plaster statuette or two and some blue vases on the man tel, black hair-cloth furniture and a bright red Jittle rug in front of the paper scroen that hid the tire place. I ('nn}l!n'( help thinking, as [ <at and grew cheerful and hopeful in the glow of the little red rug, how nice it would be to make a strike in Green Stone stock, or_anything else, and k in upon the quict circlo of Sun downs some fine ovening and announce a millionaire, make the family a present of a brown-stone-front house, et the hoys up in business, lavish seal-skin and diamonds on Lily and cause the earth to fairly blossom with greenbacks and the *kfi' to shine with gold picces, all for the sake of dazzling this casy-going little tamily and cementing the love that Lily and I felt for each other, 1 was in this beatific state of mind, with my astral intellect projected far nto the futy when lulf‘s voice filied the hall minglirg in a voeal mixture of “O Mio Fernando™ and “The Low-Back'd Car.” Of course she was glad to see me—we were always glad to see each other—and tor uear ilf hour we talked about people and things in the same conventional way that other lovers spend their fivst half hours of the night. Then I switched the con- versation around to the Great Green Stone mine. “Why, Pepper,” said Lily, with a_gav- ottelike eadence of astonishment in the vreliminary remark, “why, Pepper, you should have bought some” of it—and it is 80 cheap, too.” “Yes; it did look eheap, half chiding myself for having resisted the temptation that was yanking me into Ore & Nugget’s office a few hours before. “How did you happen to make such mistake?’? she asked; and I felt from th nner in which she asked it that sl piticd me, and that she placed a very light estimate upon both my business capucity and my common sense. 1 told her how 1t was. I described Ore & Nugget's seductively arrayed show-win- dow, and I repeated the overwhelming figures and accumulating fortunes Which were reyealed by the newspaper clipping. Lexvlained the terrible diflicnlty with which ['had overcome an. extravagant desire to invest in the Great Green Ston how the devil kept tugging at my coat- tails trying to drag me into Ore & Nug- gett's oflic d how my guardian angel had me by the collar carrying me down the street. The guardian angel trinmphed Iast, and I still had my $131 safe in my t pocket, though the hole was burn- ing there, and the bills scemed to years for communion with the Great Green Stone stoe +0, pshaw ! said Lily, with an express- ion of nty disgust in the tossof her head. "ou should have gone into Great Stone. I'll bet that it climbs like a cin- namon bear, and in a month or two will be worth ten times w vou pay tor it. I know what mining stocks ar here's Mrs. Goosegrease, down on Quill street She bought Skyrocket for thirty ¢ and to-day it’s worth $10. She's got 1, shares, and though she's every day of sixty and so homely t host woutd shin up a three to get away from her, she's had cight offerS of marriage sin papers published her v holder of Skyrocket All the girls down in our oflic are in stocks—they say they get in on the ground floor—and I have learned enough wing them talk to know that any: body who has o chanee to go into a min- ing sehem low a figure as seventy- cents and don't do it is very foolish.” “But I'm saving up tor our” wedding, vou know, Lily.’ “Iknow that, Pepper.” And 1 want to have the round 500 when we get married, " *I know that, too; but, l'.\i\)por. mining 3 alw: mining stock—you buy it ) and it goes up—you pay $1 for it y and to-morrow’ it 15 worth $12, maybe,” B “And maybe it ain’t. Often” the stock goes up and the holder of the stock down very hard.’ y refused to see this little joke, Yor me it has been, with the little” red rog, one of the bright spots connected with this night that T have not been able to 2 from my memory. Whenever I scall the evening, the first thing that re- curs to my mental vision is the red rug in tront of the fire-place, upon which my gaze was fixed when L was pieturing the possibility of my _roli n millions through the the médinm of Green Stone stock; and the very next thing that swoops down upon me from the past is the joke about “going up’™ and “‘coming down very hurd”--and I laugh kind of hysterieally. Laly's arguments impressed me so fa vorably that with the parting kiss I gave her at 11:30 p. m. I felt assurance that the following morning would find me in ow buying into Green Stone st $200 worth, I could s :ly wait for the morning to dawn, and ¥ o'clock, the hour at which Ore & Nugget began to do busine ppeared to be as fa as the potar star, When the door opened [ w on hand—one of the earliest cnstomers, Mr. Ore told me, the oflice had ever had—and inside of a haif hour I had exchanged $210 of my wedding boodle tor 280 shares of the Great Green Stone minc at seventy-five cents per share. Mr, Ore kindly told me that the Green Stor 1s stockea for §20,000,000, and the face value of each share was $50, 50 t when my stock reached par— which must be very soon, he suid—my 280 shares would be worth $14,00. Oh, how I then wished it would get to par before Christmas! Wouldn't I dispose of it quickly? And wouldn't there be a grand wedding on Boiler avenuo and great re- jorcing tn the home of the Sundowns? Mr. Ore asked me my name, and I told him - Peppermint Q. Prage. He wrote it down on the certificate whieh he gave m and then again in a big ledger among th names, I presume, of the other stoc hiolders in the ( :n Stone. Aft this he smiled, handed me my certific: I roplied, Some men cannot let liquor alone; others cannot let mining stocks alone, 1 discov- ered this bofore 1 had heen Stone two days. 1 felt that if there w afortunc in it all 1 might as well geta good big slice.; 30 wtronized Ore & Nugget very freely. First 1 ted 100 shares to my stoek, then another 100, and finally, at the end of & week I was §20 in debt to a friend of whom I had borrowed, and held 600 sharesof Green Stone which Was now beginning to rise. After this Lily and 1 and the Sundowns talked nothing but mining stocks—we read nothing el we dreamed of not ing else At the end of the second nyc Green Stone was worth $2.10 at th lose of Lhe th mo worth $1.10, and there cent dividend. The st g I wanted to sell, but Lily and the Sun downs advised me to hold on. At the end of the fifth month it was worth $12 a there had been declare :nt dividend. With the divi- what I had saved from my salary I bad now added twenty-five ing fe Tittle sonl, Lily Sun- | hares to my holdings, and had on hand 5 <hares of Great Green Stone. The papers were full of the good-luck of peo- ple who bad purchased the stock when it was cheap. My name was printed with tho others. I was on the high road to wealth, Leannot teil yon how I felt or how Laeted; 1 cannot picture myself at that time. The sensation of sudden wealth and independence was beyond my powers of description, 1 was ina constant hewildering whirl of excitement and the days came and went swiftly on wings of gotd. I still stuek to my work® —clorking for a railroad at §65 a month but every movement of the pen wasa day's hard labor to me, and 1 had grown to dislike the small pay and menial task. On December 19 G Green Stone stock was quoted at 0. I could have sold out that afternoon for $14,500. I went to bed that night in my $5:a-month room— for the reader must remember that it was the mining stock and not the money I had—feeling like a king with his crown and clothes offt, Oh, what a height T was “The morning of Docember 20 dawned, When 1 awoke and got my elothes on 1 called down stairs, as nsual, for the paper, 1 news for some folks to-day, Mr, Pragg,” said the landlady as she handed me the paper, How is that, Mrs, ingnired. Oh, that mine o’ yourn,” she replied. “What about it “It's a swindle, Mr. Pragg, and I'm downright sorry you had your name in the ,]mwr in ~ connection with it. The boarders was talkin® about it at table this mornin’, too, and they said, likewise, as Low they was sorry you had got mixed into it.’’ 1 fairly tore the paper from her grasp, nd nervonsly twisted and turned it over d over until I at last discerned the glaring headlines. There they were, The Great Green Stone mine was a myth, The stock wasn't worth a cent on a hun- dred dollars. I might as well have had my moaey in green cheese. Poppermint Q. l‘r;nlr_';: was a ruined 1 The Son- downs' hearts would be Lily I sat on tho ding-house bed and nalipotatoes?” I an! broken! would never marey me now. the edge of my bog burst into tears. While I syept I heard the door-bell ring and soon Mrs ed it Smallpotatoe’s voice float- up through the halls calling “Mr. yre!' Topened my door, A gentleman to you. Shall I send L upe” and him up,” T answered back, me- chanically repeating her words. It was ‘old man Sundown, He was smiling, and surely he could not have seen the newspaper—he could not have heard of the explosion of Green Stone. He extended his hand and shook mine rmly, encouragingly Don’t take it to heart, my boy,” he said, “‘Lily bid me tell you to "be cheer- ful, and there, read that.” So he did know all about it. T took th notethe oflered me. [t was not Lily's handwriting on the envelope which was addressed to “Peppermint Q. Pragg, 1‘..\Ill." I burst the covering, and as pulled out the enclosure I saw the green some bank notes sticking through. There were two $1,000 bilis, th this simple explanation: ToMr.and Mrs Pepperment Q. Pragg, from their dear uncle. 5 JER] “And who is Jere Sundown?" in amazement. He s my brother. Read i father gave me another letter, as follows: YeAr Tom move to some f vitation to your the 2ith, which reache 0Old Mex- ico, New York and Chicago—having fol- int in my trav- , came near being too tate. 1 am glad sved it, because 1 know the groom- 1 have his name among the stockholders of my Gireat Green Stone mine, which is located in Maori I—wherever that is. I have about $300 of Mr. Pragg’s money, and as | think he'll need it about is time I return it to him with $1,500 To the money 1 add this bit of re of mining stocks. There ‘en Stone mime—tor anybody but me. . 1 studied out this plan of getting money from those who had too much of it. 1sold stock the same ns other peoplo sell lottery tickets, and gave the fools centage of their invest- ents to encourage them to buy more, I made nearly three million by the tetion, To-mght I leave here for unknown land where I may enjoy ¢ money without the inter police nuthorities. I send 5 gift to Mrs, S.,and wi 1l of you the htest joys of the season. Your lov- ing brothel JE NDOW eat Gireen Stonc , December 18, 1886," “He must be o bad mun,” I suggested, alluding to Jere. “Been in jail forty times, said Lily's father, “uul{ is wanted Dby the police of nd under the sun.” drank Jere Sun- the wedding last I day night, and not & word was said about t Green Stone mine or the mill- ions of dollars which were carried off by the clever swindler, who made his head- quarters at the village across the river and filled the papers with such plausible stories about the Maoris and the golden weaith of their glorious country. STJACOBS Q]L FOR PAINS AND ACHES. MAGICAL CURES. Useless Arm Cured W ends of SUNDOwN," Lasked that,”” and 1t I am getting ready to ign clime. and your in- wedding on 81 5 Hoboken, N. 1was taken with severo p i my teft shoulder und right arm. 1 used everything without improving, My arm wits decoming of no use to me. 1 finally tried St. Jacobs Oil, and before the first ottle was used 1 wis relioved as It by magle. WILLIAM HERSE. Crazy with Tootha 1 was nearly or and tried evarythi A rag with f two hours HENRY SBAMUEL, JR. Yutense Palu In the Hack Cy Gr s A Wil o days wit Dl assumed an alarmning stage aod wus dolir trled without reliof, when a sing cation of St. Jacobs Ol was made pastient slopt soundly and got up well. h it to m the pain left me. Bwollen Knees Cured. Jolnstown, N. Y. While in Chicago last June, my knees Duing. Yory Mg swollon Seublng me Yain.* 1 secured 8 Bottle of B, Ol and used It on going to bed, T noat moriiug to my srjrise, | found mysell well. A F. BLUNCK, Vb, leputlican, Palns in the Sh T waus awakened at midnig #evere pains in my left shonlder. 1 my ofice with my head tarned to one 1ehit botile of Bt ducobs Ol od T throe hours r . COOK Editor of Courier, THECHARLES A, VOGELER (0. Baltimore, Md RE[] STAR COUGH CURE FREE FROM OPTATES AND POISON, SAFE. SURE. PROMPT, 5 g‘tfi' AT DRUGOISTA AND DRALERS. TUE CHALLLS A,V OUELEE CU, Baltlioore, M4, A 1L COMSTOCK, Grenl, Insurance Agent And Real Estate Broker, Room 10 Crelghton Block, Omah: 18 wrilten ia reliable companies in- bunrd ratoe anco ndout of