Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, January 29, 1886, Page 7

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STRICTLY PURE KT CONTAINS NO OPIUM IN ANY FORM IN THREE SIZE BOTTLES, PRIGE 25 GENTS, 50 CENTS, AND §1 PERBOTTLE 2 CENI| BOTTLESs are put up for the a e commodation of all who desire & goo and low priced Oough, Goid and CroupRemedy THOSE DESIRING A RENEDY FOR CONSUMPTION Ot ANY LUNG DISEASE. Should sccure the farge §1 botties. Direction Recompunying each bottle. Bold by all Medicine Dealer " EPITHELIOMA! OR SKIN CANCER. For seven yoars ) suffe my face. fEight months ago commended the nse of 8wift's Sp srminci (0 make an effc ity ueccssful, and began its £ the mied at first w but 8o 1_bogan ond and 1 do- In this o Anfli- 0 do any n oy fnee began to e, until there is not ar marks the ol it left—only a X o4 MCDONALD. ny Pl Mits. J Atlanta, Ga., August 11, 1 1 tiave had & cancer_on my face for some years, extending from one cheek bone ncross ihe nose to the other, It hos given me a great dea) of prin, at tmes birning and itehing to Buch an extent that it wis almost unbearable, | comnicnced using Switt's Specific in- May, 1585, and lavo used eight bottles, It hne given the greatest velief by remoying the influmation and vestoring my peneral healih W. BARNES, oxville, Town, Sept 8, 185 ceon blood and’ skin diseases mailed ft S‘w cifle V. 20d street. A f "o, Drawer § Atlanta, Ga PENNYROVAL PILLS “CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH The Originnl and Only Genuine. theryor Thios 4o, A WHITTIE 617 St. ChinrlenSt., St. Lonts, Mo. ataaf two Medicn] Colleges, bas basn longee paenallen, dassatcopiec o hesiclaa a Bi.Lotin I eker” Nerious, Prostration, Debiilty, Montal and Physical Weakness s Mercurial and other Affec- Hions of Throat, Skin or Bones, Blood Poison res and Ulcers, e e e ases Arlsing from I [] Exposure or ndulgence, which protuce tom aoiug 4nctet nerSausiese, dsniiiy. disioen e it ory, Wi\ es o0 tha faée, phy slen cioly O Teciaios, confunion of ldo b Tablccase, Medicine sent everywhere by uall oF expross . MARRIAGE CGUIDE, 260 PAGES, FINE PLATES, clazant eloih and gilt bind, d'tor 600. 1u pastagr oF vucrecy, Over fifly pictares, truo'to 111 S0 the followlcs womn- DRUNKENNESS or ¢ iquor Xfabit, Fositively Cured by Administering Dr. Haines’ Golden Spocific. It can be given Ina cup of coffee or tea without the kuowledge of the person taking it,is absolutely harmless, and will effect a permanent and speedy cure, whether the patieat Isa mod to drinker or an alcobolle wreck. It has been given fu thons sands of cases, and in every lustance a perfect cure has followed. It mever fail @ system once fmpregoated with the Specii comes an uiter impossibility for the liquor appetite to exist. FOR SALE BY FOLLOWING DRUGQISTS : KUIN & C0,, Cor. 15th and Deuglas, and 15th & Coming Sts., Omake, Neb A.D. FOSTER & BRC Council Blufis, Lown. Call or write for pamphlet containing hundreds © testhmonials 1rom Uhe best WOmiCn aid med (rom Bl Pasts of the countrv. Currsing the Belgium Royal and United States Mall, sailing every Saturday Between Antwerp & New York T0 THE RHINE, GERMANY, ITALY, HOL- LAND AND FRANCE. Salon from $0 to $100. Excursion tr $11010 $150, Sccond Cabim $50, and Eyowr ) co nt dow vates. Potor v Agents, 5 browdway, braska, Frank E. Moorcs, W., St, L, HARRY DEUEL, Packet Company. A DIRECT LINE FOR England, France & Germany. “Phe steumships of this well known lino aroll ot iron, I water tght compartments, and re- furnisiied with everything (0 mako the passaso both safo and agreedble. They carry the Un 1os and ave Noo 1rsduy ymouth, (1 1 HAMBULG). -$100. Steerago w Ni 8 v Y] By I DICAL CO. ORED. R Smedy A Clear Skin is orly a part of beauty; but it isa part. Everylady may have it} at least, what looks like it. Magaolia Balm both {reshens and beautifies, I bountics wi | some loug drifes up the t COUNTING CATTLE ~ HORNS. Result of the Year's Oattle Business in Montana, The Prince of Herders—The Round- ‘Up—Indian Reseryations—How Oattle are Butchered on Them. The past year has been one of unus profit to the oattle-Srowers of Montana territory. writes a correspondent of the Pittsburg Commercial Gazette from Fort Keogh. The wealth from that was added to the state from the year's business will amount up in the millions. It is now the most inmportant business. The territorial government is in the hands of herders, as are also the minor county oflices. Laws nre-made and nnmade to suit the cattle- growers, Among the recent acts of the cowboy: legislature at Helena was the passage of a bill appointing a bourd of live-stock owners. Hon. Granville Stu- art, the ‘man who is president of this commission, has a historv. Mr. Stuart is one of the most carnest men m the busi- ness, and has probably done more than uny other individual to eheck THIEVING AND MARAUDING In Northern Montana. His influence with the Indians is strong, his views re- garding the best methods of handiing them are highly respected, and his recent articles upon the subject deserve spec attention. In urging that the Indinns rmed and dismounted he has their interests at heart as well as the intevest of the whites Were we to invade the private life nville tuart, the nystery t friendship for the Indians and ) knowiedge regarding their ments wonld be explained. He settled in Montana in the early ¢ Others being lacking he took to hims an Indian wite. Many of his friends af- terwards severed similar connections pquent temptations did not lead him to set his helpmeet adrift, however, for she had been true to him in the frontier tim when more congenial companions were unavailable, and now she shares his pros- perity. His home at Fort Maginnis is the most comfortable in Northern Montana, and throughont the territory it would be difficult to find a better or more complete private library than that of \\'llil'hllll' is the possessor. He is a well-edueated, RAROTA Y pontletEn aWllo VIEABHEE LHOT: onghly posted upon the questions of the day, and one who not only has hooks, but :l\~in knows the enjoyment of their peru- sal. his the WORKING THE RANGE. So much has been written during the past few years upon *‘round-uy; rop- ing,” “branding’ and minor details of 1ze life that our ¥ nds must he reasonably well informed upon the subject. For that reason I shall only al- lInde casually ensiveness of this tem. In r one thonsand head of “pilg om the States (of value not less tl 000), branding tham at the stock yards with an X on the left hip, for instance, and turning them Joose upon the range, the owner either understands the business or has an un- swerving trust in Providence. A portion of his herd may be seen oceasionally dur- ing the s n by himself or his® cow- boys, but other portions may drift away fifty or & hundred miles, sometimes mord, before the next “round-up.” Even then it may be impossible to find them all. The ranges are divided into “districts,”” and each distriet is worked by a separate y of cow-boys, numbering any- where flom twenty to sixty (more occa- ionally), according to the importance of the district. All who have range cattle within the limits of that district are represented, either personally or othe wise, in THE ROUND-UP PARTY, member of which exercises his y for the mutual advantage of h neiglibor as well as for himself.” The dis- trict may be two hundred miles long and ifty to seventy-five miles wide, and the cowhoys move from six to ten milc ch ening, gather the cattle from the hills ounding the camp, the next morning divide the stock into _bunches, each bear- ing the brand of a different outfitr, brand the ealves with the marks borne by the mothers they follow, and in cases where the ownership of the caly annot be de- termuned, they, in this territory, receive the brand of the outfit that holds'the range upon which they are found. Now, in the distriet where ‘those “X'cattle live the representatives of that brand will see, as far as possible, to the holding and brand- ing of the stock belonging to their outfit Then the cattle that ave disposed of will be thrown into herds, according to the locality of their rang and driven to- rd “their vegular grazing grounds, Those that belong in the vicinity of the camp will be left there, and the “‘round- up’’ party moves on, THE BEEF ‘RO X » above has special reference to the round-up, which takes from sixty In addition to the [:xfl “round-up,” the beeves are “cut out”— ated from the other stock—and driven by members of their respective outfits to the points of shipment, = 1t is at these shippmg points that the value of the stock ispector sen. He exam- ines the brands of every animal shij from his point, and if some of those cattle are being shipped with the beeves of some other party he notes the fact, reports to the sceretary of the stock commission—the whnole lot goes to mar- ket, and in due _course the owner of the A cattle receives the procec f his “strays” on the basis of the price at which the main body of the shipment is sold, The number of animals thus found is lar SStrays” that belong in. Mon- tana have frequently been shipped from points on_the Union” Pacitie m W and vice yersa, on the Northe Pa- 1t is not considered surprising for cattle to drift 100 to 150 miles from their customary range, Thus are range cattle and though it may take X" outlit. or any other, to seure all their stoek, they are more than likely to do so eventually, excepting where the “eritters’ are stolen, killed by wild animals, or die on the ran The inspectors aro thoroughly familiar with the brands of the northwest, watch closely for stolen stock, do much toward offenders to justice, and are d at the principal stock-handling The detectives are equally in al in furthering the suceéss of system. About five thousandl DIFFERENT BRANDS, Have already been recorded in the oflic of the tervitorial treasur Helena, Even the Indians have their brands, and, with the multiplicity of ets of 1864, to distin- guish stock, it is'no easy matter to keep them all in mind, In the effort of vid Montapa ot dangerous wikl animals re paid durig 1884 on mor 00 wolves, 1,600 coyoies, 500 bears and 100 mountain lions. During 5 the bounties were still greater, The nd scheme of breedin fattening in Montana and m ing in Ch most beeae a picture of the pust leading eattle-owners, whose inter 5 are (tered from Texas to the British possessions, m: muke nextseason, but there ave winy who believe that a plant of over 1,000,000 head of cattle is cnough for all general purposes o a Territory that s between 40,000,000 und 50,000, 000 ailable for little else than g wsido from the 80,000,000 o8 e locked up in Indiun and itary reservations, the Indmn reser- ns being large tuough Lo give 1,500 ever; abi statior points struaen this gre - THEOMAHA DAILY BEE, FRIDAY,JANUARY 29, 1886, acres to each boy, girl, squaw and _buck of the red men of fim\(mm, Late in the fall T was at Fort Niobrara, Neb., on business, and there had a fine opportunity to sm-l?' the Indian mode of (-:mlvq ywing on the Rosebud agency. Spotted Tail's old bands of Brule Sioux are in reservation there, They own thous ands of cattle and are thriving. They number in all 8200 souls, and it takes 275 beef cattic to do them ten day: INDIAN BUTCHERS. The sight of the issue of this beef tc Indians was one of the most ex seenes Thave cver witnessed, \\'hv-n% arrived at the eattle corral 500 Indian warriors, armed with Winchester rifles, and the best revolvers were there to kill the beef. Steer aftor steer was let out of the pen, and three warriors ran them over the prairie, killing them would buffalo. 'One old copper-s ral stood by the chute, umll as the gate wonld be raised to let out the animals, he would hit him on the root of the tail with o stone hnmmer to make him run, The poor brute would roar with pain and then the gate would - be raised and he would dash out ncross the prairi h a half dozen youn, Inc Riter e ~THENL < Aoss | SPORE would begin. First one young wi or would shoot a horn off; then another would break a leg, and so on. The poor animal would be tortured to death by slow degrees, his death being put off' so long as possible so the sport would last longer. And this was the government of the United States’ method of issuing beef to its Indians, encourag- ing them to be barbarous and erucl, making a gala-day of its meat issue, and giving the young warriors u chance to enrn to shoot well and ride well, so that they can kill our soldiers more readily and kill citizens hetter if they should go to v I saw young Indian’ boys there torturing eattie—poor dumb brates—to death, who should have been in school learning to read and write. It struck me as horr and [ could not but think that it was time_somebody gave the go ernment a few lessons in humanity, civi- lization and ey It takes 10,000 worth of me: ten days to feed those lazy rod rascals and furnish them poor dumb brutes on which to practice their crueltics and barbarities. 1t made me sick and ashamed to think the go! ernment ln-‘l ssented would permit such things to be done in 1ts name. OB S T e SCANDALIZING THE SEX. the Ladies Have a Natural Inclination Towards Pantaloons. St. Louis Critie: 1t was in a fancy establishment. “You have never seen a rof ladies aloons?'” ked the “Never!” replied the seribe, hen prepare yourself for the sight,” and lifting the cover off' the box the man modiste took out a dark drab woolen- cloth garment, which he unfolded an held ont s length for inspection. At fivst sight the article looked like two canvassed hams with a Siamese twin con- nection in the upper region, but on closer inspection it proved to be a pair of soft woolen cloth trousers, baggy above the knee and tight- fitting from the knee to the ankle, the last few inches of the gar- ment being'made of an elastic mate This is one of the Iatest departures in female attire,” said the modiste, *“‘It's an overgarment; in fact a regular pair of trousers, which Iadies of advanced ideas on dress have adopted in_place of the heavy and cumbersome skirts ordinarily worn in winter, Itis worn over the or- dinery flannel undergarment and gener- ally over the stoc swell. Al least that is the intention, t sets better that way and is altogethér more comfortable, while, should a gust of wind raise the skirts and reveal the garment, a ual observer would regavd the pantaloon legs as stockings. “‘What is the usual outfit of a lady who patronizes pantaloons?” was asked. “Well, let me s the way, you must recollect that this ™ is essentially a ther costume. The usual outfit flannel under clothes, pantaloons, one light shirt, c t, n corset cover of warm ket, with arms Some, of course, supplement this with small lluura or bustle, but quite a number are now discarding the latter articles and dress, to all practical intents retly like o man.”” “How do the ladies take to panta- loons?” “They think they're ‘just splendid’. You see ladies hay ural inclination toward pantaloons, and now they cach have an opportunity to wear them. 1 shouldn’t be at all Surprised 1f the style becomes a craze.” S e L Electric Lamps on Private Carriages. The success of the incandescent elec- tric lamp for private carriages in Paris, as a substitute for candles and oil lamps, is pronounced complete. Not only d » regular sidedights are included fin this plan, but the interior of the vehicle 15 illuminated by a lamp sufliciently pow- erfal to read by, and in some instances imilar lamp'is placed for novelty on 1 of the horse. The lamps are conneeted by wires with small accumu- Iators placed under the driver’s seat. re smallin size, being only about quare and four inches high, accumulators being abie to supply a lamp of five-candle power for the space of some six hou During the day they sre removed and_charged with eleetricity from a dynamo machine or otherwise, and at night they are ready for use. e Short Cuts, Chieago Mail: The latest abbre: 1k hails from [linois. He registe t a south side hotel thu Y & et.” It as deciphered to indie; Wyunet,” Out 1n Kansas they alway Leaven- orth S11 rth,” and " All this is done in the economy--not through indolenc There WS 1 once whose name was James Hole, and who was so lazy that in regis tering his name he simply made a and then punched o hole” in the paper. John Underwood, of Andover, Mass- achusetts, always signed himsglf: “Wood, J Mass.” interast of A Short Cut. The other night on an Arkansas rond train a passenger called the ductor and asked Aro we on tim R “Glad. Are we on the tr oo’ know, but 11l go forward and ask."” He went away and_returning, said: I am informed that we left the track about five miles back. We are niow ranning on the country dirt road, and if we don’t meet & wagon we'll | 1 right. You see that there is a big bend in the road back here, and w e time by taleng a short cut” rail- con- — - She Was Willing to Consider a Re. ductior John Heary,” said dg, *how much by this time “I have only twenty-five dollars, and vou said I must have §250 before you would marry-" “Well, John Henry, pa is only paying ton cents on the dollar’ now, and I expect it would be well for you to respeet his foelings and do the same.” A Suggestion to Dr. Mary Walker, Evansville Argus: *‘Dr. Mary Walker has turned up in Washington with a tall silk file and a heavy winter overcoat.” We always thought the Dr, vather eccen- trie, She Las a right to do as she pleases, by if she is gaing to go out clad only in such a costume, she. bl better put some flannel around her throat or:she'll be lin- ble o tuke cold: zabeth Miran- money ‘e you suv JUSTICE. TN THE FAR WEST, Jimmy Orane ®éts to Be Judge and Mar- . ties a Couple. A Rumor That He Wore Socks Con- sidered A Contempt of Court— Dificnities of Introducing a Foreign Corpse as ! Testimony. Back in the early days, when the ship of civilization 'vas endeavoring to push its prow up the valley of the Platte and brawny workmen were spiking down the rails of the Union Pac railroads— says Capt. Jack Crawford, the poet- scout, in the New York World—the pro- ceedings in some of the courts of justice were peeuliar. The country was wild and hostile. Indians chased the buffalo over the ground where prosperous towns and villiages now stand. Luawyers were about asscarce as they are in the promised land, and justice, not being provided with the traditional secales, performed some remarkable guessworl At that time T was in the Indian seryice ana for a time was stationed at Lone Tree, in the beautiful valley of the Platte. The town consisted of a half dozen hastily con- structed houses, the majority built of sods. There were a few settlers near the town—hardy pioneers who had taken up government land and who lived in con- Stant danger of attack from satan’s rihly corps, the Sioux. One of the cccentric chy town was Jimmy Crane, time-beaten fronticrsman, uneducated, unpolished and, as a traveling missionary once said, ungod His life had been spent west of the auburn waters of the Missouri, and he knew as little of the ways of civiliza- tion an Apache Indian modern plan of jon. He was a dead shot v fle, an ardent lover of whisky and an expert at draw ankvr, but aside from these he had no religious ac- complishments worth speaking of. Bill Bennett, the justice of tiie peace in and for that precinet, had a misunder- standing one night with Jerry Manson over the very important point of who played low in a game of seven-up, and the funeral it beeame necessary Lo n to succeed him. With that E cklessness which ¢l cterizes the frontiersman, and as a vich joke, the boys nomnated Jimmy, wnd, to curiy out the joke, elected "him. The high honor so unexpectedly thrast upon the old man broke him all usv, but he at once rose to the dignity of the position and began to comb his hair daily. There were vague rumors flitting about the set- tlement that he had socks. These slanderous rumors ever, he indignantly denied, and even went so far asto make threats of heavy fines for contempt of court if they were persisted in.. » His knowledge of law and of the duties of his position v limited; infaecty he didn’t know the dif- ference bebween a writ of replevin and an act of eongress, and couldn’t distin- guish a poace warrant from the ten commandmentss—but be assumed the r sponsibility fenrlessly, and smiled b nignly when the boys' addressed him “Judg tHelaetermined to do a ¢ business from e start, and with the aid of a markihg hrush and a pine board the space above hideabin door soon bore the inseription cters of the nows of the ler his installation into oflice a youug couple appeared before him to be married. Jiminy was in a and He had never scen the m: riage ceremony performed, and, telling the candidates -to be seated, he jumped on 2 horse and galloped to aranch a half mile distant to consult the only law book in_the county, a small work entitled “Every Man his Own La * He searched its pages closely, but’ could find nothing bearingz upon the subjeet, and in despair he galloped back to Claney’s saloon and consulted the hoys, One of them. rece al from the states, expluined to the old man how he should conduet the ceremony. He listened at- tentively, and when the tenderfoot had concluded his explanation said: “Say, young feller, you gist hop over n''splice 'em, an’ LIl give you §b fur the job,” “But that wouldn't be legal, Uncle Jimmy. Iamnot an oflicer, and have no authority to perform a marriage cer- mony."” “D—n the authority! You jist bulge ahead an’ marry 'em, an’ this court 'll approve the percecdings and nobody's gomg ter kick. ‘They're cussed fools fur goin’ to all this trouble o’ gittin’ a cere- in this country, anyhow, an’ y y 'em Zood enough fur all pi tical purposes. Just hop over thar an’ cut loose, an’ I'll make it a twenty.”” The young man flatly refused, and Jim- ¢ through the em- I could. He A few days, lowed to see the fun, Bidding the couple nd before him, he said; sarly beloved fellow 15, these young folks now app before you to in- dulge in the holiness o) matermony ae- cordin’ to seriptur’ an’ the laws o' this cou If any of you knows any cause why they shouldn’t make the |;1):|‘ you want to squ right out _at this stage o’ the game, or corral yer jaws on the sub- ject Turevermore.” No objection was he: tice continued: “Hol up yer right han's,” The couple blushingly obeyed. “Do you, and_each of solemly swar that you w y ench other in the presence of this court; that you will do the square thing by eich other; tat you will give every body else the go-by, an’ cling to each other through Iife till death ealls npon you to cash in your Iy checks, wi’ that_you will be to sh other hushan’ an’ wife accordin’ to wan’ th prophets an’ the rules an’ tions.ethis honorable court in 1sosmade an’ pervided, so help ye rd, and the Jus- God.,” The conplle y34wore. Jimmy avas sweating profusely over the excrtiony, quid after scratehing his head to colftes his thoughts, continued: “Then I, ydaes Crane, Justice of the peace, anneunpe you as husban’ an’ wife, now an’ fodgydrmiore, world without end, Amen; an*if ghe style doesn’t suit you you have the dgal right to appeal to the supreme dourt’ at Omaha at any time within sixty days. Now light out, an’ me an' the beys'll goan’ drink your h -<Iu|." To he coupdp Seemed to be per isfied ,.l’.‘i{nlg.-a vy hund in their sun-tamned faces wreathed in smiles of nnluhl:\kni\fiv happiness. During the t#lal of ‘his fivst, and, T m: add, his Inst caso, for he threw up the of- fice in disgust,one of the alleged lawye a young sprig from Omaha, said in his speceh: “You attors honor, the ground tuken by the on the other si false one,a dangerously false one, sir ssertion in which Blackstone will sustain me, I L make it elear to your hounor by Bluck stone that—' The court suid: WVell san this thing up as we 0 alon L we won't get mixed. fwe leave the sl ends ahangin® Toose we'll never strai'ten the matter out, Constable, go an’ ng Mr. Blackstone into court to testify It was explained to him: that Blackstone was an authority on law and had been dead many s This made.the old man fighting mad, and be jumped up and interrupted him, and threw off his coat and slapped his fists and howled: *“This court may not be very fly on law and may be away off on edication, but | it'll be d—d from Dan to Barsheba, an' back agin if any biled shirt from Omehaw kin’ ring ip a dead lawyer on it! No liv ing man kin come before the bar of thi court an' make a play with a second- hand stiff' that’s been in the ground a hul life time and not get licked, Do you think you Kkin try to work a foreign corpse into the evidence an’ eseape righteous judgment o' the court? your linen, you dandified freak o' naturs ur the cyclone's howling an' the court’s a-comin’ at you in all 1ts legal power Whoop!" ~Two minutes later the Omaha law sharp was the worst licked man the country had ey o seen, Jimmy never sat on another case. Ho resigned in disgust and tore down his shingle and in future wanted to hek every man that addressed him ns Judge T successor also proved a failure. In a neighboring settlement, twelve miles distant, a young man was arrested for breaking into a cabin and stealing a num- ber of articles. He was an intimate friend of the judge and the old man was almost thunderstruck when told that a constable was bringing Frank up the river ona charge of burglary. When the prisoner ur\'i\nh the judge took him aside and said: mk, 1 couldn’t think any more of you if you war’ my own boy,an’ it breaks me all up to see you in this trouble. They tell me you are charged with burglary.” Yes, that's the charge, judge.” ‘“Too_bad! Too bad! An' are guilty, Frank?" 1 guess 1am, judge. T'm afeared they cnprove it on me.'’ “Oh, my boy, this is awful!" He walked away to n window, where he stood for some time reflecting, and then returned and said. “Lookee here, boy! Burglary is an ugly charge, an’ I'd ruther sce you panked up. f\: killin® somebody or in’ somethin’. Tkin see only one fur, {ou to out of it an’ eseape It You you teal Wi 3 1 you w'at to do, Frank, kin send down and have the gal brought up here and marry her, an’ 111 Kick the case outen court an' see that it's not rung in agin durin’ my administra- tion.” . HER BROTHER IS A GIRL. How a Young Lady From Hlinois was Surprised by the Health Board. New York World: Among the visitors to the health department sterday was a young and pretty woman, who saiil that she w Miss Lynch, of Illinois. Her mother proposed to apply to the govern- ment for pension, as” her father had been a Union soldic The pension oflice was very particular about the_de- tails of applicants’ families, and Miss Lynch w lllml a transeript of the record of ‘tho birth of - a. child born o her parents in New York in 1863. When the records were examined it was found that on February 11, 1863, Catherine, wife of Michael Lynch, gave birth to a female child at No. 138 Mott street. “But my brother is not & woman,”’ pro- tested the fair visito! “He must be,” was the reply. “This is the official record, certified g Dr Eny v, of No. 14 Bayard strect. If you don’t believe that your brother is a girl, just ook at the record.” “We always thought that he was a Lynch, sadly, “and after t turns out that he has no vote, nor smoke, nor wear Cannot the rvecord be chang- all these y right to trousers. eds” “Never."” “Not cven if a clerical error has been made?” “No. Miss Lynch was assured that the de- partment sympathized with her, and ap- preciated the painfal position of u young man, officially and 1rrevoeably declared to be a young womun, but nothing could be doné. The seriptures might be re- vesed; the board of health record, nev ——.— A Boy Wreaks Vengea Man. con pl aboy of e on a Mean “Mister, will " asked ¢ me looking shonld I give you a dime?” T fret something 10 eat with.' “Why should I eare whether you eat or not? It's none of my business.” Shortly afterward, as the man was run- ning to ¢ateh a car, his plug hat blew oft” and went rolling af a rapid Tate. “Please stop that hat,” he shouted to a how. “Why should T stop your hat?” the boy veplied. “It is none of my husiness.” “Now look hiere, you young wretch, a m has run over it."’ “That’s s0; but why should I care none of my busines: He Knew What Was the Principal German Order, “Tseo that the emperor of Germany has conferred the Ovder of the Red 1 upon Gen, Wolseley,” observed Bbenezor Jones to Zebedee Smith, “Yos, so 1 noticed. Is that the prin- i norder? lked Smith, sl Didn't Sce the Monkeys, A little three year old, who had s al times visited the dime museums with his rents, was on Sunday taken to church and after returning home W his father what he saw. “Wel roungste “aman got up and shook TITER talked, but [ nllinln'l like it much, b they didn’t let us see the monkey: - Jvils He Would Choosc Least. De Jones—How did blonde I introduced nighty Silly Side—Too tall. If I ever ried it will be to a girl who is petite. De Jones—Well, you'rve right. Of two evils, 1 have been told, choose the least, - Two Ways of Looking At It Now. Ithink that was w rave pic acting,” remarked the yonng man eame out of the opera honse “Indee ow I thonght it was done," replied the young lad, And then they did not. sp two minutes. Of Two'l the like the that | other you you to again for Entirely Different Denomination, 01 Deacon Smith i pessimist,” marked an Oakland man to his wife, in tho prosence of Lis precocious son, who exclaimed — v “Why, father, what a lie?? &gV do you mean, sir the fathe “I say he aint. that's what he is thundered He's a Methodist; - [ ery ic She Knew Them Oaly by Sight, Philadelphia € Jdl: Mamma—Do you know the ten conjpandments, my dcar? Little Bess—Y &) manuna SWell, repeat tisem,” “Lean't, man I don't know them by heart, L on., snow them when 1 see R When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria, When shie was & Child, she cried for Castoria, When sho becauie Miss ; to Uastoria, When she Lad Cuildron, sbe gave thow Castoria, she clun ! eviden I CEEAPEST PLACE 1IN OMAIIA TO BUY FURNITURE, BABY CARRIAGES, F Is AT DEWEY & STONE'S One of the Best and Largest Stocks in the U. to Select from. No Stairs to Climb Elegant Passenger Elevator. M. BURKE & SONS, LIVE STOCK COMMISSION MERCHANTS, GEO. BURKE, Manager, UNION STOCK YARDS, OMAHA, NEB. i REFERENCES:~Merchants and Farme ¢ Bank, David City, Noh., Kearney National Rank,Ken tad noy{NM\.:\'ulumhuu State Bank, Columbus, Neb.; MeDonald's Bank, North Platte, Neb, Omahs Natlonal Bank, Omaha, Neb. JAY GOULD KISSED. The Great Financier's Name Disrupts a Happy Home. New York Journal: Gould's name hrought about the disruption of the once happyBoecker family yeste morn- ing. The family is composed of John Boecker his w Mary and four children They live at No. 186 Orchard street. John ekes out a living by muking baskets. Mrs. Boecker's youngest child, a pret ty little boy, was horn unexpectedly at the Ninth street station of the Third Ave- nue Elevated Iroad on the 20th of Inst July. As amark of respeet for the little man who controls the road. Mrs, Boceker at onee christened the ehild Gould Boecker. DMr. Gould was ly pleased when he heard of the ent, s0 much so that he sent the baby his picture and a promise (o make him an elevated railroad conductor when he became of v All this pleased Mrs. Boecker, but her husband became furious when he learned tioe child's name. He said Jay Gould was a monopolist and an enemy of the people, and he insisted upon ecalling him EFrede: i Willinm, in houor of the Crown nee of Prassin, equently since then the couple have had trouble about the baby's name. Boecker took so great a dislike to the child that he hardly ever noticed it, giv- ing all his attention to his three other cliidren, the oldest of whomis a fourteen year old'boy, who is a great admirer of Jay Gould, The keen-eyed little fellow, Jay Gould, never paid any attention to the disputes abont hisname. He preferved to sprawl about the floor, and wounld get everything he laid his hands on into a corner. Like his great namesake, the boy sleeps with one cye open, and he is uncertain i solities. When an admiring visitor azks him if he is a democrat he bows his head, as if to Y ye He gives the same an- swer it asked if he is & republican or an independent. Wien his mother took him out in the baby-earringe he wanted the whole street to himself, and o if he saw another baby on the block. A few days ago his mother took him to a neighbor’s roows. The neighbor's hoy was playmg with toy railroad train.”As soon ns Jay Gould Boecker saw it he grabbed it up and re fused to part with it until his mother spanked hnm. Yesterday morning My. Boecker the family together and ovdered themnot to eall the biiby Gould any more Mrs. Boecker that Jay Gouold was' the boy’s name, and she detied him orany one to change it. i il must be called Frederick Willi " persisted Boecker, “or 'Ll dis- own it.” Mrs. Boecker suid she would die rather than change the name. Her hushand got so mad that he slapped her face, smashed tl i and spanked the bab, Court-olli immons arvested Boecker ann took him to Issex muarket cou where Justice Power committed him three months, Belore going to a on he kissed the baby, supposing that would soften his wite's heart, but she was obdurate, Late in the afternoon she called and begged for his release. Jus tice Powcer promised to release him on the 20th of next April, - BUTTERFLY. The Curious Pet of a Litile Miss on South Fifth Strect. Philadelphia News: A butterfly in captivity is perhaps not an unusual thing to see, but a butterfly in captivity that has lived in a glass jar for three months and throngh the cold weather of winter is somcthing that very few have had the opportunity of secing, as a butterily’s existence is generally considered to last but a few we t the farthest. Miss Bessie Scewon, the d W mon, of the Virginia tobacco store, on Ninth str uboyve ( nut, is the owner of a specimen that she caught in the yard in the rear of Mr. Semon’s residence, 1825 South Fifth street, earl When it was e it was almost dead with the eold. She took it into a warm room and placed it in a rwith a forated lid, and the not only revived, hut grew lively aed to take o liking 1o its new home It is one of the la brown spee with wings fully an inch and o hialdf I Wi ity giass cage it manifests none of the ¢ to eseape usunlly shown by inscets in captivity, but moves avonnd its gluss house with Wings at rest nd it spends its time pring dozing and When it wi it was slender in body ul hung looking, but on its feed ot rand has grown fat and round almost too heavy to fly, Miss 1 wade something of a pet of he and every day she takes it ou to give it exercisc. d therer for A TAME iehter of butterily, of the jar wits present yoester 3 Srownie” wis given an aiving When the lid was removed from the jar s butterily flew out and lit on its own er’s arm, spread its wings and took a a good streteh, It then walked up her arm oulder, took a look aronnd d v around the room , and vetarning Iit on head. It could be easily seen the insect recognized its owner, for thongh several times while it was on its flight she ehanged her position the but- terily ench time flew to her nother that it knew her was und in the faet that when any one clse went near the butterily it elosed its wings t 1 pd perfectly quict Miss Bessie need simply put her down heside it 1 retty insect would get up on it and then walk up her arm o her shoulder or head. Mins naturally prowd i t, and v then fle time s little m 1 s ence through th W is untdomhbt JAMES PY L) PEARLINE, Tt e s the dirtest most eleguut f withoit and with™ little grocers eve - | SHING COMPOL \Y! For sale by | Will pay customers' draft with bill of 1ading attachod, for two-thirds valuo of stock. The Cost of a Bushel of Corn, Chieago Herald: There is a statistician about the Paliner House who desires to. impress everybody with economic faets, Said he yesterday': “Do you see that man over theve? Well, he's’ a farmer down near Elgin, There he goes with a friend; they're going to get o drink. The farmer | will pay for it ow, let me see. That man will sweat two mortal hours next spring to Yl”w enongh ground to raise | one bushel of corn. That’ bushel of corn he will sell for 30 cents. He ing in there now to spend the 80 cents for two drinks. ‘Thercfore, the farmer and the corn have parted. Now, let me tell you, what becomes of the corn. A bushel ofy corn makes soventeen quarts of whisky— four-und-n-quartor gallons. -The Q1N lory gets its first profit—40 cents a gallon, There you « $2 for that bushel of corn. Now the government comes in, 90 cents a allon—$3.85, added to the $2, makes 85, That brings the product of the bushel of corn down to the jobber and the wholesaler and, finally. L_\' several es, o the retailer. By the time it veaches the latter the bushel of corn or its product of four and a_quarter gallons has been reduced one-half, which means i nd a half gallon There are nks to the gallon—that the htand a half gallons mean cents ench—there we price for a bushel of corn which_the farmer raises and sells for 30 cents. Who says there is not industry in this country? But the farmer w W just now spent his whole bushel of corn in the price of two drinks, and the people who do ot till the soil ot away with $16.05 - aptain Mitchell, of the bark Antoine | Sala, New York and Havana trade, cam- home in May, entirely helpless with rhicumatism. “He went to the mountains, but receiving no benelfit, at his w quest, began to take Hood's He immediately began to improve two months his rheumatism was all none and he sailed in command of his vessel a well man, Hood's Sarsuparilla will help you. Sold by all druggists, R.a.iliv:;my 7Time Table OMARA, Tne following is the time of arrival and des | ruins by Cenfral Stndard time ut Trains of the C., St. P, M. & o and depart from their denot, corner of Jih and Webster stroctss trainson the B. & B, & Q. and K. C., 8t J., & C. B. from the M. dopot: ull others from the Union Pacifi depot. BRIDGE TRAINS. Bridzo tralns wil leave (1. P, depot at 6:45— 13T R00-K 240825011 10:00-11300 8. m., 1:00 : 0 15200~ 4:00—5:0-—b0--4 m. CONNECTING LINES wl and devarture of trains from tho rdepot at Council Bluns: CHICAGO, M 10 4. M S WABARN, ST, 10 . M. Local. St Louis kx vansfer ANAR CITY. ST, JOE & ( AN 005 4., B A Depart AN |0, & REP, Mail and 15 & M. 1 Mail and 1 Night Bxpress . SOUTHWALD. MOMISSOUKE P S 3h NORTHW A LD, M COR P M & O, " Bionx City 5% . Bric Oallnnl - Accommonl’n 10:00¢ ASTWARD, B, Cy I ) Vin ot { YARDE Omnha, 1t 5 50—0:25 . . vds for Omahi 2 7 0 §i40 =207 Notr Trains daily €, duily except sprurdiy _ Arrive, | AL Will leave 1, 10:45--10:05 1 Leave Bio s excopt Mo | duy, A Fid tanos and Urgans: B LINE O —AT— V/GODBRIDGE BROS' MUSIC HOUSE OMAHA, NEBRASKA, Did you Sup- § pose Mustang I cntonly good ¥ for horses It is for inflamisge tion of all flesh, 4

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