The Nonpartisan Leader Newspaper, April 18, 1921, Page 18

- | AR IRART: Direct to You at Factory Bedrock prices fixed for 1921 and guaran- teed to go no_ lower. Massive, double- walled silos, made of fir, America’s strong- est wood. Direct to farmers at factory prices. Write today for Silo Book, Owner List, Freight-paid prices. We save you money, on as good a silo as money can buy. HEWITT-LEA-FUNCK C€O0. 767 Funck St.,, Sumner, Wash. HIGH GRADE TIRES AT V2 PRICE SEND NO MONEY | 6,000 Miles Guaranteed You take no risks. Our direct- to-users plan cuts the price. Read these prices on new, fresh stock, then order, NOW. Ribbed No:mkld Miller e Other sizes priced in proportion. We will ship the tires by first express. Examine carefully and if you find {§. them entirely satisfactory pay the agent, If not, tell him to ship them back at our expense. LEADER TIRE COMPANY 1504 Hennepin Ave. Minneapolis, Minn. PREMIERTIRES KEOKUK, IOWA Buy a Tire With a Name Big, husky, black skid. 6,000 miles guaranteed by factory. Don’t be fooled by vague promises. Low costs give/ you low prices. 3 Size Plain $ 7.95 9.45 All orders C. O. D, on ap-{Nef/ proval. Premier tires are guaranteed. TIRE SUPPLY COMPANY 1212 Hennepin Ave. Minneapolis, Minn. DON’T SELL HIDES AND FURB ON THE VAILING LOW M Use them v.o a good advantage 1nstcnd ot sacrlficlng them at the presem. low prices. Let us tan them into fur sets, robes, coats or leather. Send for free price st and tags. If you preler selling, we always pay the highest market p: The Bismarck Hlde and Fur Co., Bismarck, N. D. o i e el R Big Poland Hogs, Registered ELM DRIVE FARM Boars, boars, boars and bred gilts; also young pigs. J. H. KULENKAMP, So. St. Paul, Minn. Mention the Leader When Writing Advertisers A WEEK’S EXPERIENCE The week had gloomily begun For Willie Weeks, a poor mar’s Sun, He was beset with bill and dun, And he had very little Mon. “This cash,” he said, “It won’t pay dues, I’'ve nothing here but ones and Tues.” A bright thought struck him and he said, “The rich Miss Goldrocks I will Wed.” But when he paid his court to her, She lisped but firmly said, “No, Thur.” “Alas,” said he, “then I must die!” His soul went where they say souls Fri, ¢ They found his gloves and coat and hat And the c:)roner then upon him Sat. * * * John Barleycorn’s body lies a’moldering in the grave, but his spirit goes staggering on. * * * " General Atterbury is head of the Pennsylvania railroad and leader of the drive of the railroads to discharge as many employes as possible — es- pecially union employes. A section man says he had a dream the other night in which he saw General Atter- bury’s funeral. In the middle of the céremonies the corpse stuck his head out of the coffin and inquired, “How many pallbearers are working ?” “Six, general,” was the reply. “Too d——— many; take off two,” said the corpse. * £ * Undertakers protest against bootleg whisky. It seems its vic- tims are so thoroughly pickled they don’t need embalming. * * * They were arguing as to which had the more power. Said the judge: “I can condemn a man to be hanged.” Said the minister: “I can condemn him to eternal punishment in the fu- ture life.” “Yes,” replied the judge, “but when I condemn him, he IS hanged.” ar Al * * Ireland wants peace and is will- ing to fight any one for it. * * %* SECOND CLASS MALE The only person we have discovered who has a remedy for high railroad rates is the tattooed man in the. cir- cus, who stuck a 1-cent stamp on his forehead and got transported in the mail sack as printed matter. * * * If Henry Ford should invent a mechanical cow the farmer boys who have been feeding calves will give him a vote of thanks. * * * “I think it was very poor taste on the part of our minister to preach his farewell sermon on the text, ‘I go to prepare a place for you.’” I‘Wh ') “Hes going to be chaplam at the state pemtentlary * * All men are born free and equal, but most of them get mar- ried later. * & The small boy who found a mouse in the milk, and threw the cat in to get it out, must have been patterning after the I. V. A.s of North Dakota, who are willing to let every bank in the state go “broke” if that will help them to break up the League. SPEAKING OF FREE LOVE The National City bank of New York, of which James A. Stillman is president, says North Dakota bonds can not be sold because moneyed men have heard too many stories about North Dakota. But not half as many as we’ve heard about Mr. Stillman. * * * Some marriages must be made in heaven, because heaven alone knows why they were made. * % % d AN 1800-YEAR-OLD JOKE “A prating barber asked Archelaus how he would be trimmed. He an- swered, ‘In silence.’” — PLUTARCH, 100 A. D. * * * A camel can go 10 days with- out a drink, and if he had sampled some of the home brew that is be- ing made nowadays he probably would be perfectly willing to. * * * “Prosperity is simply a state of mind,” the bankers say. The trouble is that it is a state of which some banker is usually the govemor. * * * The crime wave has moved leg- islatures to enact more rigid “gun-. toting” laws, thereby making it dangerous for anybody but a bur- glar to own a revolver. * * * Mr. Hays says he is going to “hu- manize” the postoffice department. If it is true that “To err is human” we would say Burleson made a pretty good job of it. * % % A girl’s face used to be her for-~ tune. Now it’s the beauty spe- cialist’s fortune. * * * SOUNDS POSSIBLE Mother—Where did you learn that awful word ? Youngster—From Santa - Claus, when he stumbled over the chair on Christmas eve. * * * President Harding’s new dog ran away after two days at the White House with his new master. You can’t tell us dogs aren’t in- telligent. B * * * President Harding’s “cousin” in Chi- cago turns out to be a fake. But what we’re wondering about is what the man in the White House will turn out, to be. * * * . The ancient Romans pressed out the juice from their grapes by trampling them with their bare feet, thus putting “kick” in the .Wine. * * * “Now,” said the teacher, “the class will tell us the names of the wild ani- mals, beginning with Willie Jones.” * * * The trouble with the Versailles peace is that it shows too great a tendency to come to pieces. * * * Durmg the flu epidemic of 1918 saloons in Montana did a thriving business in “flu medicine,” while all public meeting places were closed and most of the population wore flu masks. An old toper staggered out of one of the saloons one day and declared to the crowd: “I'm an old man but now I'm seeing the most wonderful happenings of all my life—the war over, the -churches closed, the saloons open and the women muzzled.” ‘PAGE EIGHTEEN e ADVERTISEMENTS THE AUTOMATIC ‘ CiureTie Binder Knotter Hook The Sure Tie Binder Knotter au- tomatically adjusts itself to any size or diameter of twine. With undersize, oversize .or uneven twine it makes a perfect knot even with double or triple strands. Whether flax or hemp, hard or soft twine, the Automat- ic Knotter ties the knots per- fectly. (fneldmg jaw automat- ically handles all sizes of twine without a single adjustment. FOR CORN BINDERS. If necessary, when bundles are heavy, put on extra twine holders and tensions and bind with two or three strands. Every Knotter Hook Guaranteed .Price, $5, prepaid. Millions of farmers will want this hook. Order yours now: and you will not be disappointed when the harvest is on. Automatic Binder Knotter Hook Co. 447 Boston Block, Minneapolis, Minn. Made to Fit McCormick, John Deere. Deering, . Minnesota, and Massey Harris, small grain or cora. Genuine Blue-Bell Chambray SInrls D 3 Chest Do{Jble > Stitched -Seams Slée_ve 910 W. Van Buren St., CH PATRONIZE LEADER ADVERTISERS - They Stand Behind You and the Goods They Represent SUNNYSIDE GESTATION COMPOUND R e gt sk ol St e nvest SUNNVSIDE FARNS, .B.nnkhll.mfi:'brl k:"‘ 4 “T-ntion the Leader When Writing Advertisers