The Nonpartisan Leader Newspaper, June 24, 1918, Page 2

HorelSHERMAN ==ST. PAUL MINN==3 FuLL VALUE Courtesy and Comfort have combined to make the New Sherman the most popular- Hotel in St. Paul. More one dollar rooms than any other first class hotel in St. Paul. Cafe and Cafeteria. Angus J. Cameron Fourth and Sibley Streets One block from Union Depot and Nonpartisan League Headquarters. IMPERIAL TIRES e GUARANTEED 4,000 MILES We intend to sell them DIRECT to YOU only thru the NONPARTISAN LEADER. And we know they will save YOU money. Just send us your order. No deposit re- quired. Tires sent on approval. 30x3 H 11.66 2.10 30x314 14.60 15.50 2.50 32x31% 16.65 17.60 2.76 81x4 22.00 23.10 3.00 38x4 23.35 24.75 3.40 34x4 24.00 25.30 8.50 85<4b 85.50 37.830 4.60 37x5 43.75 45.40 5.50 We carry a complete stock of sizes. Inner Tubes Guaranteed 1 Year. TIRE SUPPLY CO. 12th & Hennepin, Minneapolis, Minn. IMPERIAL TIRES ARE THRIFT TIRES. You Are Surely Entitl the Full Market Value for Your Livestock If you do not get it, somebody else gets the benefit you should have. The day is passed when business is done on 8enti- ment, and only results in dollars and cents count. We want you to compare the re- sults in dollars and cents we get for you with those received - else- where. A comparison will convince you that “Kirk Service” gets you the most money for your livestock. J. R. Kirk Commission Co., Inc. South St. Paul, Minn. Authorized Sales Agency of the American Society of Equity SPLITTING THE DIFFERENCE . J. Gilmore Jones, my neighbor on the right, was born, I think, on winter’s darkest night, and never tumbled when the frosts of March drove out Jack Frost and wilted all his starch. J. Gilmore.tells me that his house and lot are much the worst a sucker ever bought; the house was drafted by a man stone blind; the lot is low in front and high behind! His garage should be many cubits higher, he drags his car outside to patch-a tire! His chimney has no draught, his lungs are bad, and all his neighbors (barring me) are-glad! The mer- chants sting him sore on all he buys, the baby lies awake at night and cries! His daughter has a beau (the oldest one), and the devil’s lodging in his oldest son!' His children, neigh- bors (almost said his wife), take all the sunshine out of Jones’ life! B. Marcus Smith, my neighbor on the left, is overstocked wherein Jones is bereft, but Smith was born the twenty-first of June, when air was hot, and sings another tune! HIS house is perfect, there never was a place where so ‘much ROOM took up so little SPACE! His lot for gardening has the proper slant to let the sunshine into every plant! His health; his furnace, dog, and fountain pen, are soaring over par—a hundred-ten! His baby NEVER cries, his wife is well, his oldest daughter is the reigning belle! His oldest - son is such a model boy—his mother’s pride and hope, his father’s joy! . Now I was born, at least so I’ve been told, in April when ’tis neither hot nor cold; I live between, so try in all'I do to split the difference between the two! . IT’S ALL IN THE POINT OF VIEW When a boy has to wait For his girl at the gate, An hour seems an eon' or more, But the dear little lass, As she primps at the glass, . Feels hurried- as never before! The eight-year-old boy, Growing: tired of his toy, Fairly wishes his childhood away;: * But his middle-aged dad, As he looks at the lad, s Says, “That boy grows a: foot in a. day!” ( PR In providing the bread; “Hubby” gets in his That the lady at home“has a snap; But his own busy wife i lws Would give half of her life - . For the chance of an afternoon nap! The men with the hoe, They of course never know Of the griefs of- the men with the pen; And the ink-spreading guys Can not half realize The troubles of hoe-faring men! So, my friend, don’t you see, Your opinion of me, As well as my notion of you, Is away out of gear, Sadly twisted, I fear, By the relative value of view! * * * After a severe bombardment there is no question about “No Man’s Land” being holey ground! * * THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A TECHNICAL PHRASE, RUNG IN- TO YOUR CONVERSATION. NOW AND THEN, TO MAKE THE FEL- LOWS THINK YOU ARE A REAL WISE GUY. - ¢ * ok Popping the question, like popping corn, is a sort of a hot griddle per- formance. PAGE TWO A poor speller in writing to a friend |f abbreviated the expression “He will” to “He’ll,” but forgot the apostrophe, and one paragraph of his letter read as follows: “Hell go with you, and hell help you all he can; if hell come back with you, hell fire the furnace for you and hell keep house while you'run over and report to me the success of the trip.” - gt * * * IT ISN'T RAINING RAIN TO ME (A Student’s Version) It isn’t raining rain to me, But stiff exams in chunks; In every dimpled drop I see A dozen bitter flunks. ; , The quiz today will turn me gray, And ‘cook my hash up brown; It isn’t raining rain, I say— It’s raining zeros down. It isn’t raining rain to me, ) But “goose eggs,” big and blue; A dozen profs are watching me, So I can’t “pony” through! A health unto the “sharper”; A fig for him who crams; It isn’t raining rain to me— It’s raining cold exams! * * * “I tried to make John believe, last night, that that ornament on my new hat. was real fruit, and he actually bit on it!” { * * ® FOLLOWING THE LEADER "Tis rumored the evil Old Ned, Called in his best tailor and said, “I feel sad out of date, With these horns on my pate; You must make.me a helmet instead!” So the tailor got»scissors and steel, And he slashed off the horns of the de’il, . Then he fashioned a lid, - Like the kaiser’s, he did; Said Old Satan, “How ‘kultured’ I . Mention the Leader When Writing Advertisers 7 Beati = g e Just As You Would Do By : With a Pitchfork & \AKE the short cut to effect [ thorough separation. Do [ not wait for the grain to drop out, but BEAT IT OUT with }i | The Big Cylinder | { The Man Behind the : Gun and the - Beating Shakers the way to get all the grain quickly and without waste, Join hands with the national " movement and save all your grain. Handle more jobs and bigger jobs and make more money for yourself. g The Red River Special saves enough more of the farmer’stime § and grain to pay his thresh bill. If you want a thresher for your own use, learn about .our *‘Jun- ior’’ Red River Special. Write for circulars, Nichols & Shepard Co. in Continuous Busl ST ~ VR Mic! ) Cet Read"l"' Do Your Part rivers, mochanis, while ¢ heam. Por- : » » e tunity never so great for auto lnd’ school fn Free Y. M. C. A. Membership room, basket. FLAGS Firm having a8 member.in -, the “Service of our Coun- should display a Service Flag. We will ship by address upon $1.25 a one-star high-grade sewed parcel post (prepaid) to your receipt of bunting 12x18 inch (window size) service flag, 8xb all wool .government bunting .zewed stars and stripes U. S. Flag for $5.50. Write us for prices on largest flags of any kind. Northwestern. Flag & Decorating Co., manu- facturers of flags and banners, Dept. N. P., St. Paul, Minn, R FISH to consumers for 20 years, and have thousands of satisfied customers. Send postal for price list on freshly salted Lake ‘Superior Herring, . Trout, Whitefish, Alaska Sablefish : : can safely us. -8, ; TERUD. FISH: COMPANY, DULUTH, MINN.: We. have been selling - fish djreci S