The Nonpartisan Leader Newspaper, April 12, 1917, Page 14

1S L] ; - “Rip” Braves a Bugaboo Finds North Dakota on the Map in Spite of League - Vietory That Scared Him to Europe - By Rip, The Reporter Deer Mistur Editur: 1 spoze you have long-sinst kon- cluded that'I wuz ded; but I aint. I never wuz more alive .than I am now an’ I expeck to live menny more daze yit to cum! In fack I ‘have more reezons to live now than I ever had in mi whole ‘life—that iz that part uv mi life that haz past. ? x .The reezon, Mistur Editur, that you have not heerd frum me in sich a'long time iz that I have bin to Urope tryin’ to figger out what them Tellers iz a-fitin about over thar. But I neyer found out. The bést I cud lurn wuz’ tha wuz all a-fitin fur civilization. Mi konclusion iz that tha will kill it ded if tha keep on much longer. But I did not calkilite to tell you about mi observashuns on the war in this lettur. I only wanted to tell you whur I had bin an’ also why. I have now told you whur an’ will proseed to tell you why. Mi departure frum this stait wuz very onexpected to mi menny friends, but not to me. I had maid up mi mind Jong before the fall electshun that ef the Nonpartisans wun out then it wuz — —_— I, " = i[5 runnin’ to close to sich a stait, that the Missouri wood turn back an’ go out thru Kanada an’ down to Puget Sound, that the buteful Shiann wood sink .outen site an’ that the Mouse wood run in a hole and pull the hole in after ‘it. So I kep beetin’ it fur Urope, pur- furin’ to brave the dangers uv divin’ ships and flyin’ ships:an’ to stand be- fore 42-centemeter guns than to risk ‘mi hide in a stait whur:I wood ‘have to stand in frunt uv house bill 44. I wood ruther taik mi ¢hances in a cun-. try that’'iz run bi wun man with a crown on hiz hed than in a cuntry that iz run bi‘a lot uv farmers with horns on thur hands. ‘Well, ennyhow, after I got to Urope I watched the papers very cloce to see if thar wuz enny nuze about what happened to the stait when the elect- shun wuz over but never seed nuthin’, Finally wun day when I wuz in Kon- stantinople the thot cum to me like a flash that it mite be a good idee to git a map uv the United Staits an’ see ef North Dakota wuz still thar. So I went to a book store an’ got a map an’ opened it with trimblin’ hands an’ flutterin’ hart, expecktin’ to see a Rip walked gingerly out onto the bridge that spans the Red River and took a careful look to see whether the Nonpartisan League had destroyed Fargo and the west bank of the river. The Old Gang predicted a League victory would destroy the whole state—and Rip didn’'t want to walk off the end of the bridge and fall into space. me fur civilization. Thats the reezon I went to Urope whur tha wuz all a-fiten fur it. ‘Not only did I not want to stay in a cuntry dominated bi 90 pur cent uv the péeple instid uv the safe and sane fu, but I wuz actually afraid that sum dire an’ disastrus kolamity wood. befall the stait ef the Nonpartishuns wun out. The reezon I feerd this wuz becuz uv the dreedful talk I heerd on the tranes, in the hotels, around laywers’ offices an’ in bizness places. The predicshuns tha maid wood turn a redhedded man gray in wun nite. So, on the day uv the electshun I got down close to the stait line an’ after votin as hard az I cud agin the Nonpartishuns, I beet it a cross the stait line an’ never stopped to look back to see ef the stait wuz sunk outen site or had blowed up in smoak. The next mornin’ I heerd that the Non- partishuns had shore a-nuf wun out and I tuck the fastest trane I cud git fur Nuyork. I jist naturally expected that the sun wood never shine agin in good ole North Dakota, that the rane *wood never rane again on her broad an’ fertyle feelds an’ that, tharfore, the green grass wood never grow agin on her hi an’ rollin’ prarys.. In fack I ex- pected that every bank in the stait wood leeve on the furst trane an’ that all the ralerode trax wood brake an’ curl up at the stait lines. I expeckted that the Red river uv the North wood turn an’ go out thru Minnesota to keep from white spot whur North Dakota ought to be. Emagin mi supprize an’ - con- sturnashun, ef you can, when to mi amazement an’ dumfoundedness she wuz still on the map. I rubbed mi ize an’ looked again_an’ she wuz still thar. I ast the clerk ef she wuz still thar an’ he looked at me an’ smiled a sickly sort uv smile, looked at anuther clerk an’ tappin’ hisself on the forehead, walked away. I thot he must be crazy an’ so did not bother him enny more. I then went back to the boss uv the store an’ ast him ef she wuz still thar an’ he sed she wuz. I ast him ef that wuz a nu map an’ he sed she wuz jist ofen the press. ‘Well, when it finally purcolated mi hed that the good ole flickertale stait wuz still a part an’ parcel uv the _American continent, still belonged to the western hemisfear, az it wur, I heaved a sy uv releaf that wuz like the swell uy an ocean tide an’ hot- footed it back to mi hotel so fast that I nearly got pinched three times fur exceedin’ the speed limit. I packed mi trunk so fast that I furgot mi nite gown an’ mi tuth brush, which I Spoze air still in Konstantinople, ef the Rooshians aint captured the' burg and confisticated ’em. So anxious wuz I to git back to North Dakota that I never thot uv divin’ ships nor flyin’ dutchmans but ‘tuck the furst boat I seed heded west and here I am. 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