The Nonpartisan Leader Newspaper, October 14, 1915, Page 15

B~ T r T 1AGE SIXTEEN As the Humorous Arttsts Look a-’ 80 MEAN OF HIM The Bride (after the elopement)— Oh! vapal The Groom (anxiously)—What does he say? What does he say? The Bride—Don't come home "and %l will be forgiven. my! Here's a telephone from WISE KID Mamma—Now, Harold, at the party Il! anyone asks you to have some- thing, you must say, “Yes, thank you,” and it you don’'t want it you must Bay— J Harold—Don’t bother, mamma, 1 don’t expect to refuse anything, i Obsession. Ethel—A penny for your thoughts, Tercy! Percy—The very thing! ~You know, I was thinking how T was'to ride home with only 4 cents in' my pOLket-Bos- ton Globe. BEGINNING EARLY. Jack disliked being kissed, and, be- ing a handsome little chap, sornetimés had a good -‘deal to put up with. One day he had been kissed a’lot. Then, to make matters worse, on go- ing to the picture palace in the even- ing, instead of his favorite cowboy and Indian pictures, there was noth- ing but a lot more huggmg and klss- ing. He returned home completely out of patience with the whole tribe of women. After he had been tucked into bed his mother came to: kiss him good night, 5 He refused to be kisged. ‘ Mother begged ‘and begged, till in|the awful Mr. Thinner is a veget | disgust he turned to his:father; whoian. *wros stendingin tne doorway looking on nd said: y s weman 3 klss "~—T!t19its i{ from my daughter.” lmlug, foz the love of ‘Heaven,! ERIcan aninat, 1Hom'e Compamon. THE NONPARTISAN LEADER HIS CHANCE - T00 LONG A CHANCE Mrs. Henpeck—This paper says that hafiglllistllild hz;m azlc; papa for. oy Maid—Miss De. Swell éfiye to te : <+ man in Italy sold his wife to a hlind Dick—1 digdn et a chance te as!l you as how she‘li bs down ln a-h man for 20 cents. Isn’t that awful? him, % K hour. 5 S ; ; Mr. Henpeck—Yes. Anyone ought Della—You e dntr ey ; Cholly—-That‘sv allflght, tcouldn'! N to be ashamed to stick-a blind man. Dick—No; he was sitting betw een you entertaln m vmeanwhna? ’ i e - me and the hallway. ; : ... AN UNPLEASANTRY —_— ® — - 5 RANK AND FILE i B - Grouch—Say, I'm not_a_polygamist.: Mrs. Grouch—Well, who said you were? Grouch—Your relatlves seem to think I married the whoele family. Mrs. Swell—Tell your captain T'¢§ like the pleasure of his company to § dance next Thursday evening. Corporal O’Brien—O{ will, ma’am but ‘Oi’m afraid some of 'em can” dance. : Juliet - who ‘was tounq $ % ‘dead by Romeo.” } : B COULDN’'T UNDERSTAND. “I've. just had a 'queer telegram “What’s wrong with it?” THE LAST FLY OF SUMMER “I don't know. Here it is. T'I1|‘Tis the last fly of sumrher, read it to you: ‘Z|mersogol|amnovd- Left buzzing - alone: fhijktpuwxy?” All his nasty companions “What on earth do vou suppose it Are swatted and gone. means?” ‘\Io bugs of his kindred, “Why, it elthex means -that the| “No larva is" nigh wires are crossed or else she’s engag-|To echo his buzzmg, ed to a:Russian nobleman.” Or g1ve s:gh for sxgh " NOW HE WANTS CASH. Tl notr lebvisbhas. thsu Tofie oné Shortly after the reconstruction Upon the- shade’s ‘hem; period began an old Southern planter | Since thy ‘birothers are sleeping, met one of his negroes whom he had Go Sleep with them. not seen since the latter’s liberation. | Thus kindly I swat thee, Agent—Can‘t I lell y‘ou a vacnum. ‘Well, well!’” said the planter.| My hand on thy head; cleaner? “What are you doing now, Uncle | Like thy mates of the summer, Mrs Sha’l"N MY llll!bnnd sham. Josh?” : Ex liange_ : : ~ Thou’ Tt buzzless and dead “I’s a-preachin’.” : : “What* You preaghing?” “Yassah, marster, I's a-preachin’. IE . OF 'RETYREAT. An optxmlstw 8 udent of the war Ho‘fmonsz.f “This, then, Miss Fickel,” said the (1) “Well, well!" Do’ you use notes?” tells_us that Russia’s continuing re- “Nossuh. At de fust I use notes,|YoUng man as he started for the tredts ‘are merely strategic. “She is but now I demands the cash.”’ —Judge. door, ‘is your final decision?” * ¢ |merely falling upon Her base of sup- 3 “It is, Mr. Smithers,” - said' the|plies,” says’ he. ' This statement T R A young ‘lady firmly. ‘| should-cause’ us' some -uneasiness in BEING POLITE. “Then,” he” continued, his voice be-|this country, for Russia’s chief source Little Ellen, who ‘was looking at|traying’ _an ‘unnatural. calmness, of supplies at 'this writing; barring the baby of a friend of ‘her moth-|“there is but thing more to add.” ‘a few things she gets from Japan, er's wished to say something very| “What is that?” she: asked, toy-|seems to be located '=omewhere be- complimentary, so she asked in po-|ing absently with the lobe of her|tween Bethlehem, Penns)dvama, ‘and lite tones: shell-like ear. Bridgeport, Connecticut.- Von Hin- “How old is your baby?”" {1t is this,”: he muttered “Shall | denburg may be able to get a view “Eight weeks,” Lephed the young |1 return these black satin suspend-|of - the - San Francisco Exposxtlon mother . proudly. ers by mail' or will you have them after all—Life. ‘ ; “Is. that so!” responded EllenL “She now?”—N. Y, World : does ‘not show her: age. "’Womans : Home Companion. e FATEV"SV PERVERSITY, “One of my daughters has tonsil-|of’ ’ms,” exclaimed Mr. Gtowcher.' s A VEGETARIAN. Silly Sally—Oh, Billy, 1. hear tha 1Is that true? = - Bxlly pr-True" lou bet!