New Britain Herald Newspaper, March 1, 1930, Page 6

New Britain Heral HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY New Britain, Connecticut Tasued Dally (Sunday Excepted) At Herald Bldg., 67 Church atreet SUBSCRIPTION RATES 33.00 & Year Entered at the Post Office at New Britain | as Second Class Mail Matter, | | TELEPHONE CALLS Business Office Editorlal Rooms | m ™ The only profitable ac in the City. Circulation book room always open to adver Member ot the Associaled I'ress The Assoclated Press !s exc titled to the use for re-publication of all mews credited to it or not otherwise credited in this paper and also local tews published therein. Member Audit Burenu “he A. B, is a patlonal which furnishes newspapeis tsern with a strictly honest analyais of circulation. Our ciiculation statistics are based upon this zudit. This insures pro- tection against fraud in newspaper ribution figures to bot onal local advertisera of Circulation organization and_ adve and in_New Times nce male da Newstand, ewsstand, d Street. ‘The 1lerald York at Hotaling's Square; Schultz's Grand Central, 4 E IN WHICH WE GLANCE AT THE MAYORALTY To the best of our knowledge the Mayor 1s not going to be a candi- We his much. date for re-clection g | 1f he give state to assume shall to other intentions every opportun tention. Until assume he doesn’t choose t assumption, to run. Such however, does neee Tl mean the not Mayor would the 1 s when e ont of politic spring freshc was d wation for | currently reportc 1ook with favor another office on ticket—such as th pon Democratic tion for | the nomin town clerk, o receives M L larger | salary than th yor— NOW comes a definite denial L, the Mayor that he is interested in cither the town clerk’s position or that the tax collectoy It can be safciy assumcd, how- ever, that whatever the Mayor's in- tentions are in a much he is vitally intereste It 50 ot “strong ticket being casier o straight” when standing in front of a vot- ing machine than be sufticient ot | a mechanic to vote with discrimina tion, it behooves all well-wishers of the parties to be vitally interested in the strength of ticket at the top. The head men in the two parth have been thinking hard of late and | not all their thoughts have had re- | public pres for percussions the There is I'. n ¥. McDonough, in- stance, lawyer, realtor, a gencral wise man of Lusiness practice. He is credited with attaining his pres- ent eminence in his circles by dint | of native ability and energy. Many | Democrats their idle moments | have been thinking of speaking to | Mr. McDonough as a fit candidate. | That gentleman himself, however. | has not joined in the discussion; at | least, not in public. Indecd, there | is worry whether hie would choose | to run. There does not seem to be |that there would be a change in |tendency of much talk of drafting him, al- the Democratic administration, not operated by trunk lines to buy into| though this is wossible. There has been talk that Mr. Me- r have been Donough and the Ma | Mr. Quigley. Obviously | dates around which have been even better. The grape vine says there is no evidence at hand that Mr. Judd has visited Mr. Quigley and bestowed hugs and kisses. Not even to save the party is that likely to happen. Whether this is news to Mr. Quigley we dol not know. importance scems to be to a reported interview Richard Covert, member Republican New Britain, and Mr. Covert cannot be adverse to such an inter- view. What i3 important about overt vis- Some attached between the of state commi‘tee from however, is whether Mr. ited Mr o1 Quigley ot Mr. Quigley asked him ther to make a friendly call to talk about | against counterfeiters On this as an unseasonable weather. not function to point we shall umpire, merely pausing state ur information—which may be wrong or it may be right — i3 Mr. extended the in- vitation. information Qui a Quigley 1t this then Mr. tha correct opportunity to mak cction one of those verbal tilts that cverybody except the newspaper editors scem to en- jov. As a successful politician, like Mr. statement he comes cor- to correct eve across we anticipate no fiery rom Mr. Quigle tion Mr. Quigley is said to nd rection In ad a sizeable promised by admir- have campaign stowed awa crs, furnished by friends, or in his Whichever way i3 th box. the hint a campaign in sight is With n strong correct, that money for important. money usually malkes an even bet- : on than honeyed wor oratory. The “zood pro- all other things stands a nious mpres or fulsom vider” in politics, being equal, nec better tha show aspirant having ntegrity and sincerity—everything “bri; may 1t takes mazuma to and politics to the ideal mone out the vote,” never develop point may not be wel- the show. A bet- where an “angel” ce comed to help fina . 1em about Mr. papar, with n the head party were bound to The did. The general impression dozen “angels’” When y got the doll, ter, a news into th atlachea the en in grapevine says take mnotice. they certainly thi hour is that in of a cleventh ty of opinion in the Demo- ranks on local party politics, are Dbetter united about a new slate of candidates than the Republicans; that the Re- publicans, though cager to take ad- diver: cratic the Democrats vantage of possible divisions in the of cmbattled Democracy. more hopes and expectations ranks have than they have outstanding candi- 1l the grand a rally. Even the an- stage has done old party can Judge “raceski ticipated by declining with thanks. Onc gentleman of more or less prominence said the other day ill be a “change of ad- ministration.”” That sounded omi- nous until one analyzed the state- ment. He might have merely meant that there v | central | was set to be paid in real money his own accord. | thing, i? on a has an | Roraback, rarely if cver pauses | | political fcau‘tl’s‘ exeept | no returns commensurate with. the risk involved unless the bogus bills are fed to the public in a constant stream; and in the third place, it finally turns out, as the stream of bad money continues, that it can be traced, more especially when cveryone is properly put on guard. Recently, so cable dispatches stat- <d, a huge supply of American counterfeit bills got into circulation Europe. But what cventually happened was that a gang of al- leged get rich quick artists got into the toils, and the high bail, if any, in e have no doubt that the same | smaller scale, will The joker | is that the state will not accept any of the fake money for bail bonds or in payment of a possible heavy fine which may be added the incvitable prison scntence. happen in Connecticut. to SMALL HOPE FOR BERLIN We sec little hope, while sympa- thizing the town of Berlin, | that it will succeed in changing the quarantine orders with boundaries of the i or ending the nulsance altogether. | The reasons for this lack of hope | It the feacral burcau- | ible for the quarantine | to pay any hced to the ob- jections of municipalities a[tcctcd} they would have no reason to start | the first place. this arc obvious. crats respor were quarantining Quarantines of popular because they lead to loss and incidentally (0‘ moneta los but so does the| ravage of the corn borer. If this pesky critter is as dangerous an in- sect ag the Department of Agricul- —and on matters of in type are un- of markets ture agriculture we frankly admit of no inclination to dispute with this de- asserts partment—then something must be | done to stop the conquering march the corn borer. Obviously, there is strength in the fntantion that great care should exercised by government avoid a interfering wi 1 1 | cd. But how this 17 to be avoided in | all cases we do not know. It would be illogical, for instance, to include New Britain in the quarantined arca it it is expertly determined that it is not affected by the borer. But | with the corn borer discovered in| | | high. freight service to the port of Bal- timore. The consolidation has since been consummated. The situation in New England, of course, is different. In the first place, we have our own ports and the two main railroads have access to them. Considerable of our coal comes through these ports, being shipped from other tidewater ports 1t will not be overlooked, however, that only a weck or so ago the J C. ven's coal rates from the New land ports to points inland werc too Local systems, lacking coni- petition, are not necessarily angels more trunk Eng- of virtue, than lines arc inclined that way. any Factsand Fancies By Robert Quillen To Chicago: No bums; no bombs Perhaps Bacon wrote a lot that is credited to Shakespeare. Solomon did. According to Calvin, it is cleclion that takes people to Heaven. The doctrine works with unusu promptness in Mexico. 1 animals can laugh, as the sci- entist says, amateur hunters may be a blessing, after all, You don't need brains to he a famous critic. Just spend your life saying people arc imbeciles and they will call you great. table with a sensible uses a ta- Giving a bookcase cach encyclopedia s idea. Almost cverybody ble. Some men cuss Wall Street and others listened to their wives. At last we shall learn whether hell really is hot. Prophets say the stock market will come back. Paul mentions putting away childish things when be became a man, so there may have been ukes to strum in his time, Wisely sclecting the cylinder oil best suited to our precious motors; greedily swallow- ing any darned stuff that appeals to our cyes. Americanism: No wonder jobs are scarce. You'd make yourself scarce if a dozen men were after you. There is also need of a horn that will yel 1¢ you'll slow down and | Berlin we have little rcason to be- | yhat fellow coming will slow down, | which will force them to take per-|the silver of a lieve that it wiil be kept out of New | Britain and environs. | | The appeal to President Hoover | and to Senators Bingham and Wal- | [oc.ioue and happy. there would |in conne cott was fittingly described as a | “final desperate battle” The two senators, we feel certain, wish they | had never heard of the corn borer, T'll pass you without a smash.” And if the money spent for war could be spent to make people be cars enough to eliminate the surplus population. Tt doesn't take a shrewd man to frisk the rich. Any guest can steal host whose usual | functory action on behalf of constit- | guests are people who don’t steal. uents in spite of their knowledge | that arguing with an administrative Yet the income you have would make you happy if nobody of your | tederal bureau is like trying to make | acquaintance had as much. a stone move without kicking it. BACK OF RAIL MERGERS | “What do we get out of it" is the | incvitable attitude of interested| partics toward railroad consolida- tion. It the New England lincs re- main independent—at least nomin- | ally independent considering the | holding companies | Indirect taxes are befter, for a tax is llke another man kissing your wife. You don't suffer a bit if you don’t know it. Well, {f they quit coining $2.50 gold pieces, the old ones will in- crease in value and may reach the point where they will buy $2.50 worth. Stand uncovered while talking to lady, and don't be ashamed of necessarily a change to a Repub- 1‘]\1:1:' outstanding stock—it is felt| our hald head. The march wind lican administration so far as the | by shippers that the opportunities of | will soon turn it a nice blue, any- mayoralty is concerned. That is | the lines with trunik | to bargain somewhat closely allied during re- | where the travail is encountered — |lines for advantageous division 01" Indecd. | an ot ‘ imbroglios. head 1 cent verbal when Patrick I". Ki the school committee, charged that somebody was writing were @ recently | the Mayor's letters there goodly number who instantly con- cluded that the somebody was Mr. McDonough. But the grapevine re- porting service informs us that Mr. McDonough didn't approve made during of the contentions controver therefore or controyersies, did ough was the Mayor r it, we take It does not n Mr. McDonoush by the Mayor as a cap: Indeed. tlemen remain quitc chu Obviously, we merely ma tion of these things to indicate belief Mayor, caring to pective candi that the reasonable if not S again, might not be disappointed to see Mr. McDonough ¢ running instead. Also, to mention candid mentioned rred ntleman they may have s good the know for nomination and for may chances o In the Republican camp the iion is even mo cveryone is aw en spoken of 16 o T moment icting interest the Democrats at least have the po- tential candidates, types around which such divergent viewpoints as represented by the Mayor while the Repub- of pretty King can rally have a plenitude candidates at lican: and g who are arguments no pleasing to everybody in the party. TARDY TAX PAYING out of a job paying jergonal taxes now undoubtedly obtaining a in a posi- more di than being and which ia the modus new 1o under th an extra dollar tardy poll payers. Consequent- tax collector tu probleni. f would result in ear, jail with persons whose | onl be to be out of 1g unable to spare the y crime would $2 poll t ax n a good will resume consider poll tax, a npopu was ve tax on poor exact- and Mr. ‘ 100 per cent | to| ¢ other | assumption | would not BOGUS BILLS of iterfeiting scema ody with a ten 1d A unwary sto to spe ing r extraordinar quiring second place, there through rates and the like will be at | its maximum. Conversely if the trunk lines obtained control, then it is felt they would not go out of their way to yield an advantage to New England but would be inclined to | “milk” the northeastern shippers as | Interstate Commerce | Commission would allow. | here were a certainty that the New England | lines would benefit | la much as the consolidation of the lines wi New I trunk strongly favor | N hdustry and commerce On the whole, the attitude of Ingland 1 to- consolidation lines t. So long as ward with i of the further | our is cor none England lines extend than the Iudson riy local in ¢ aracter and per- nterest of Ne are haps it is to the bes England that True, the status the Ne its control of maintained. Central through Boston & Albany has infiltrated N influence into a vital ot a it part England, yet it must no ove close worki N looked that t H it the between Pennsylvania over the Hell Gate route amounts to ng. At the road conference in Hart ter from President Atter Pennsylvania was read, but those at the conference were wisc in not to take At showing a willingness in- even Mr, structions from ter- bury, | improved | supply and pumping plant way. Correct this sentence: “K¢ crooning tenor on the radio, the husband; “I like him, too.” “opyright, 1930, Publishers Syndicate Ago Today Corbin is contemplating value of its water at the dam will deepencd p that said 25 Years P. & F. improving the The pond street. the foot of Arch be raised and and enlarged. I'red Beloin housc and lot on When “Uncle Joc” Cannon put the kibosh on the appropriation bill at the session of Congress. the chances for an appropriation public bullding in New went over to the next sessior Dogs are still running wild in the location of Clark strect and numer- ous chickens have been killed The board of firc commissioners will seck a budget of $26,000 for the coming year. At present the board i3 attempting to have permanent chief and two permanent men appointed The tax rate for the year will he made at a meeting to be held this cvening in Turner hall. The report of attendan public schools during 4004 registered for the previous dedication of the gymnasium will il has purchased a Lincoln street a Dritain a the ¢ in brus as against year, Wi 4,223 he A March M o1 Xy 1d G be 1 Qbservations On The Weather Washington, March 1.—Forecast for Southern New England: Tair; warmer Saturday; Sunday probably showers Conditions: T North Atlantic ddic Atla ad st v tes and off th North At £h ove tic e pros: o i in th ures the Atlantic rtions o lower Lake regio Tt will be colder on Sunday in the gion, Ohio Tempe o lower Lake 1 he land Tennessc I announced that the New Ha- | Conscience Tortured Soldier Settles Debt Washington, March 1 (UP)— The conscience fund of the Unit- cd States treasury is $50 larger today because of an unnamed former soldicr in Colorado who cifclosed the amount in a letter to the war department, which explained: “While in the service during 1919-20, 1 stole cquipment and clothing to the amount of about || $50.' Since that time God has || wonderfully saved me and I am going back over my tracks and || making every wrong right that I || possibly can.” What Congress Is Doing S aturday Senate consideration of farif ] 1 louse | noon Triday Scénate Rejected duty on leum in tariff bill. Senator MeKellar President Hoover recall the can delegation at the London naval | reduction conference. Senator Blaine iled American independent petrolcum producers | association for methods employed in [ urging tarift duty on oil. | House | Passed White bill to amend me:- | chant marine act of 1928 to cnabie | award of mail contracts to shippin; lines operating to Canadian ports Passed free bill to provide that |lcans for ship construction under | Jones-White act bear intercst ot | lowest rate of any government obli- zation cxcept postal savings bonds. Representative Fish asked suppost of his resolulion opposing recogni- tion of union of Sovict socialist rc- publics, because of religious “pers.- cution and outrages.’ Secretary Mellon advocated Continues bill. Meet at oil and petro- proposed that | Ameri- | | 0 | s and means committee recip: | tional double taxation. (Sixtcen Said o Have Received . i Letters From Federal Men | more names have been added to the list of those who lave been asked |be removed from the postal service ction with the furore cause |ry Norton of the local post office | that liquor was brought in larsec of the federation of post office | clerks. to show cause why he should not be | dismissed. Yesterday it was Jearned {asked to show causc and the iden- [tity of eight of them was learnecd. | Hackett, who was associated with |Norton in making the charges that | bought for the convention: Kdwar |P. Lawton, Jr. Louis Lopinsky, thony J. Yacavone, Joseph J. Burns and Charles W. Ryan. Norton. who requested the na | tional body of the post office clerks’ |them to have the Hartford Better | Business burcau intercede for him Harry K. Taylor, postmastcr, con- tinued to withhold the facts in the yesterday except to deny that he was one of the 16 asked to show cause not be released from the service. Some years ago Ryan, one of the a candidate for Taylor's job. with Norton and Hackett as backers. dent of the post office clerks and Lopinsky was treasurer. Shay was | nvention and was subjected to by Norton and Hackett | cal’ exempfion for avoiding interna- MAY BE DISMISSED Martford, March 1 (P—Seven to show cause why they should not |as a result of charges made by Har- | quantities for the 1929 convention | Norton was requested yesterds | that a total of 16 men have lecen | In addition {o Norton they are: |excessive quantities of liquor we | Francis J. Shay of New Haven: An- sSent to Politicians | association to help him, was told by | with local politicians. case and would make no statement within three days why he should ployes about to be dismissed, was Lawton was at one time state presi aligned with them during the 1929 mentioned attacks eavone ving had char heer for the That s been as of the buying of convention concerning the er is being encouraged was when, with the exception of Hackett and Ryan, recip- jents of the letters from the postal inspectors, point out that they were | instructed at hearings earlier in the month, to divulge no details to out- siders. That post oitice politics is not considercd public knowledge is | still further indicated by the reply | Norton reccived from Thomas J. Flaherty, secretary-treasurer of \ie | National Federation of Post wvifice Clerks, Washington. S secrecy en- nt Norton. D. C.. who says | it will be difficult to help Norton he- | of the publicity he has given ase causc {0 is said nien- Taylor hgton Flaher tion that standing’ Harry K in Wash Lewis Devine, Hartford, Is Killed by Automobile Harttord, March 1 — Lewis H Devine, of Hartford. was Killed liast Hartford carly last when struck by an automobile Kenneth G. Anderson of East Hartford. He was pronounced dead | when taken to the office of a near- by physician. Anderson. 600 bonds slaughter ch did not | e said evening | driv- n | n by who o being Tield in technical man- that he happened Wood- when is told police eciden was going past Main 1 objec t o stred 1. He md \ broug turned to hody 1 could not ac v meonscions reet. 1olice in said i hour e when the was going whout 28 n cident oc Taay thrifty people cead the Her 1d Classified Ads, | land Makes Random Observations } On the City anc Its People 2096440439903 9FPFITITITINTITICIIFTEIITIVIFIIIFONINGY | Berlin in First Place As | Red Hot Political War Zone Yor piping hot campaigns, wherc | in of | cvery wire is pulled and bitterness |is allowed free play, championships | Il classes must go to the town Berlin. Judging by the exci by the proposal on an mar take past cnergy schaqol in anothtr their arguing for their opinion, was best suited to the needs of the | household dutics were almost | while gotten in guged {addition ders 100 bus ho the bec use (uestion. . regularly city Vil or thought biscuits burned or dinner was late it was probably the famous |trifies as the thrce times a day and on the minute |ana spent their waking moments in ticated argumentation on the school Ic ddition to the present gram- | 560 locat affairs ing that has quite cqualled the dis | turbance in that town two or been noted in the | community. Agitators for onc have been burning during thr th the tow me olent | merits of the proposals to Luild an new building. zrocer hoy was late in deliverir it was probably because he was Ivocating the plan which ) dese: woni cook fan rlinese who t the how know progressing. gainst th promises to pretty pushed school cussing the cited latter anyon: town 1 tion cause of to votc lege.” this There small, " kus, avers the place awalkes sluggish the veins Berlin, apparently, nceds no tor The city were who cently makes us wonder what of the fellow who opposed the h hucks even e women niarching to the Berlin polls week, to register her view is no lethargic community, he than 1 I and e co cost penny 1 into question the minds of cveryone and was permitted to interfere the pros Irom this distance woren voters hecamc than the bland males, and the roused the sper 19th if shoul t cach 1 a fi t quic | civic responsibility., voler to the teaches him a great de lives | When a, populace gets fighting mad | over a political issue, the community hlood begins bk woodsy terest. in Understudies Desirable its weller Lut clf For City Officials The ics wisdom of for officials in public office has' been argudd in these columns in the | \past. It was forcibly brought home | this week on two occasions. | In the first instance, during the pendency of legal action which un- |tangled the knotty problem of the comptrollership, payrolls were held | up and the city paid none of its ob- | ligations, a regrettable condition | which would not have cxisted had the city a position of dcputy comp- troller. H In the sccond rey Mortimer H. Camp, generally recognized as assistant corporation | counsel, was questioned when Mayor | Paonessa pointed out that no such | position exists in the make-up of the | city government. This left the city | officials without legal guidance, ex- cepting such as they might be able to obtain from friends at the bar, | | which in no instance would protect | the members of the city govern- | ment in the event of litigation aris- inz out of acts thus dirccted. This week's disclosures may Te- sult in action by the common coun- cil to guard against a recurrence. 1f past conduct on the part of the council members can be taken as a criterion, it probably won't. . It was only a few year that the office of city treasurer could lo gally be filled by anyone other than the person duly and properly clect- cd, any inability or disability on his part notwithstanding. When the present treasurer was forced to re- main away from duty by reason of serious illness, the council members hunted through the pages of the charter and ordinance and found no authority for a deputy. At that time provision was made for a sub- stitute, to be appointed along same lines as a deputy comptroller, acting only in emergencics. In 4 morc recent instance, {h council was asked to appoint under ctudies for the superintendents of the sewer department and the street department, but giving scant consid- | eration 1o the proposal, they reject- cd it. Now that a serious condition has resulted from the failure of t city fathers to sce that the structure of the government was fool- | proof, it remains to I whether deputics, ready to step in and per- form their dutics legally and with- out question, will he It ment caused | to spend $125,000 | ccet a new building ion, the Berli serious] during the wecks has ever histo of the plan or another up their nervous past fortnight scheme which, in and for- en- the wn. Business | | | and women debates on n 1t the or- | 1f oven rved support. up in the who such to cat 1en of Berlin, s, overlooked nily's desire (in this was New Bri friends in campaign n the quarantine rn borer, which Berlin farmers mless lifted, was background. The was uppermost in nothing with dis- visit ir the a 1d cons. it scer m a tl ex- made seen enongh, as an hour in the testify. Which has beconme loy endmient. be- won't hother the pri seen th 1t n ere Verily, Spring Has Come We Have the Evidene The return of cold snowstorm omen o weather the Not hos us to ne et o to week's spriv come. fact that the ground is shadow will convinec We haven't rohins blvebirds, found rap trees, althon; evidence | con- LS has even the determined |y saw the any en't from the we understand such We haven't even assertion on the fact that cague baseball teams are W a better ground for our rouds have disap- their annual grimly contrary. sec We running hetter i it lar; or st class political kens th of ednc the ssues involved 1 about jers I for or { any i sense exists. based our the major sonthward bound nd more positive statement: pearcd of tes have in and its 1 | the under morass | that has heen course through | ¢ 890. Tossibly open winte of | to of the v | and possibly their own cussedness, highways, and roads in the are in the worst condition | spring whi we can re- | that cvery | streets in the eity | occan only in that | them are ationary, ters in othe ont of no 1 unusu, just be- | because cause think a it keen in- may it nd in its develop- AKCS vicinity any spring. differ from the waves while the strongly me as Some weoosay the in cr: reminis having understud- man's New ment capi Mumblin entirely grown tired of ute” and then dangling on the end of when is H casc and result e b cred of were shops, tory r One nuc may Macey wtier’s e vibrant in a marked Mercantilc telephon: | oft and t receiving turning preferring | blocks for purchases to unsatisfac- sults over phone. of the brought It engaged selected through in credo w small \ Al fo rul try quality member tirst call won chances Tt added ar employe " Vi s that no purchase system | And the whole experiment has heet torian si I re re o that | making it cas ou York. stores and lizing 1 sterco he he pl Goodl I with fow in est « ed it o1 big 1he st gir we ch x crive ad: inject wari 1 f permanent t of fic congestion impetus to proprictors, paying high . In sor 1 i e tahil wude. Definition of a Big depart- wecialty shops ary cphon man d nd And no lonzer Lo husl once for a on Broadway hat.”" He is i courtesy typed greetings ar Customoers have wring “Jess amni is “grand opera.” ntleman whose huginess suc- on ingratiat- up of pro- in a di- an un- Ie largely with fin cess depend himself sional men emma, And usual streak luck ged o Saturday night hon o rone, b i Good morning or Hicrnoon' the voice is pleasant and as a time there in orders (hlishments discov- yrders were falling to the indifarence perators. Patrons to neighborhood to walk a fow ot cry answer of of at poker. i soirec as his e inviting zentlemen ) hiis par- shed to with 1 brand impres interes ticular 1 The cnough, winning. he recklessly ra but could not ing heavily, grey white-faced. the evening. The host held : discarded three Kin ing a draw to what an impossible chance straight flush, but he filled it, In speration he tried to disposc of one card in the discard to draw an- othe but was caug And branded L cheat! of hospitahity. el th Throuzhout cd nmonths cvenly same nut NCreis K001 Tost the small Zuests, los- nd It Lig pot of cvening on pairs lis calin Came the ten and acc and . He W | s mak- lie considered | of filling a s on the ave- | out the revolution. {f of sixteen cure- 1s and put them coks intensive of the was 100 sto of fef idea I attention ‘When answering a into the v friendliness. ny are giving you or them customers ten." And Island Tuck. A in hop extra job. to accept pened he cd for a small part rector asked him xpected. He replied ty!” The director siv.” But the actor “seven fifty” and which lasted a weel. surprise when studio comes of stock act o tting it nothi was the fron Long streak of ther voice & another c had - cone a in have nine told by less, Tt ype badly The casti what salar “Seven Tl out a day fricnd hi need- di- he succeed e i you J 50 in has given an telephone sales | recognizing this, | ar to such inces a per- | instalicd. said: held 8ot Tms for | wages insf as been he tion in the vawe ndored din middh n I vou vic z2ht Al tever 1o pink today an old tting tough day thi up Sometin altoget | (Copyrizht, gigolo: “The relief | syndicate the status of Attor- | ¢ | auicksand otherwise - | definitely land after an artillery barrage. A when water fill the depressions ul toll on automobile springs become even more terrific, for then a motor- ist has no idea of whether the pool head of him is a mere diminutive depression or a pit rivalling the Japan deep in the Pacific. While out on the highways con- ditions are even worse. In some places exponents of the black art scem to have been at work, for the niacadamized surfaces have com- pletely vanished—or, maybe, con- sidering the occan-like conditions, a submarine has come sncaking up and sunk them without trace. Any- W they are gonc for stretches of from feet to half a mile in places, leaving in their stead only swamps of red muck. But the situation at out on the back roads. where, if we can take the word of ‘the native vyou can just see the tops of stalled cars peeking out of the mud and where if hubby is late in coming home for supper wifcy takes a long pole and goes out probing for him in the mud along the way The last cold spell has hardly al- leviated conditions, for thesc peaks and valleys have frozen into mor too-miniature representations of the Himalayas. There nay be some con- sclation in this, for it really isn’t so depressing to jounce over these jagged irregularities and break a spring than it is to sink into of mud and lose your 30 its worst whole car. What to do? Of course, repairs might be made, but the same trou- ble will crop up next spring and the whole thing will have to be done all over again, just like paying the rent or taking a bath, It's an cconomic waste. So we propose a remedy which will 1 use of the; at present, disconcerting ruts and rovines. Let the United States de- ciare war upon somebody—and we will Le fully equipped with a first- class system of trenches. re “Mosquito Network” Feature Overflowing With “Conflict” Note: The P. & 1% Corbin Twins, known as Pad and Lock, plan a single radio sketch, song and dance act, commemorating the battle for the occupancy of the comptrol- ler's office in the ci hall. sketch will be presented over the famous mosquito networ! of i Jfactional Broadeasting Co. some time in the not too distant future perhaps. Herewith is the copy for the act. Characters: Pad, the pri man, played by Anne Jello. Lock, his partner, played Leight Opening song: by Day No particular fune: “Her the Corbin twins, Pad and Lock, we bring you grins; We may play with injunctions, we may hold up the dough We're shy on audit functions, but love each other We love to issuc call each other namg We may talk of abatem onc other blanes But when all rows are over, the smoke has cleared away You'll find it's always certain, IU's the taxpayers who pay.” Pad: “Well. Lock, I hear you've hegun your new job in fine style by signing a whole stack of pay checks. Didn’t you get writer's cramp froi job 2" Lock: “I had that a long time ago trying out the composition hooks that the school board thought of buying. But there’s one thing 1 want to K you, Pa Are you on horsehack tonight?” Pad: “On horschack? Of cou not; what made you get that idea?” Lock: “Well, then, if you're not on horseback, you must be a foot-pad, arend you?" Pad: “We'll let that pass and sing little song, how about it: Lock?® *“Okay with me. (First and only verse) 's call a truce and grant their pay,” Said Mr. Clark to Mr Let's Keep it up. It Said Mr. Day to Mr. Clark Pad: “Did you cver hear the story about the mayor who went into battle, lost out, und then decided to break Camp?” Lock: “You mean a man who was s acting scofforation counsel?™ Yeh! Stop me if you've is onc: Why docs a chicken we are statements, we 1ts, cach and a Day. such a lark,” Deputy sherift dio hurricdly: haye an injunciion the use of t breaking into stu- “Sorry boys, but I licre prohibiting o chicken crossing th street joke. You'll have to sign off, 'ad and Lock, in unison: “Brin your injunction. We'll have dissolved.’ on 1 The Milleuniu It Seems Is Rushing Upon Us. 3 world, all is hecon to 1 stter place not he as Contrary in which to dwell delightful as the Garden of luder sinee n began to earn his v sweat of his brow, it and is improving. for example, the invention of Blomgren, an electrician, by doors may be opcned a blast on the auto- 1008« & a b 1t may e first bread the has improved Take Everctt which garage nd closed by mobile lorn. How often have drifted into the driveway as night was having its battle with dawn and wished that by some magic trick, the garag doors would fly open of their own volition and grant entrance. How often have we fumbled in the mud for the key to the lock which we have dropped and heaped nathe on the man who invented automobilesd, padlocks—and mud, How often have we sent our good wife to unlock the door and, after waiting paticntly for results, have gone out oursclves to do the task which she finds difficulty in doing, How offen—but why continue in- we Now, with « single toot, tribulations arc at an end, our garage is aquipped, we ar ing to get revenge by sitting & wheel tooting and tooting watehing the doors swing open ain, open, and close e these When go- th and vlos once swing on thee, elogtrician that 1 the liutton IN wi Tnvent some Dlamed boat wit depre MIKE IS AN ARTIST Wis, Mareh | (U1) — Murphy. 1 iy or W a4 forme s not busy 1 e carfoons, Madisor When Mil Wisconsin erew eon hman L with ctehing, signing wocations, conch his oarsmen i be found or de- his favorite drawing hoat models,