New Britain Herald Newspaper, April 27, 1929, Page 6

[\ New Britain Herald| HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY iseued Daily (Sunday Ezcepted) At Heald Blag.. 61 Church Btreer BUBSCRIPTION RATES 3560 8 Year $200 Ihies Months The o Mootr Entered at the Post UMc as Becond Clam Ma PELEPHONS CALLE Business Office vze Editoria! Reoms e N Matter Wi ug mediun, ¢ prew the only proftav m the Cily Circulation booke -oum siways open to sdiertisers Mewber o the Assocmted Fress Awociuiec Press b e3ciw: €d to tie uee for re publicat a1l uews credited to it o1 not ofher credited ' this papel sad slse iews pUDIIMNGd theiein 1t Member Audlt Huress ol Cires v A B C low cations olgauicat b furnishes aewapupeir iU & b with 8 @ity houest auaiysi aton circulatiop statistice are upon e sudit Thie lusuies piu Agalist fraud in oewapajer d@ figures to Dotb oetionsl ame adiert mere on ting on eale duily 'n New g+ Newmtand Times t2's Newsstands €ntreace 4 go to her ods « contanta of notes probably would not have Known tc k0 nion frox ould ba «a public action, and tion under any 1 1t ix hard for a state's attorn.y malke them public for 2 1ol s 1 prisoner awaiting trinl 1t tone re isn't a vietior that Mr to this with the 1tiee i ertitiod to 1ing the iry. reiuctant the ¥ g N phlie Hot case & e e for was very Nir iford ‘o not court and MIDDLETOWN AIDS BERLIN Berlin, turning to Middletown for |additional accommodations for high | school pupils, finds that there is a | plenitude of room in that city and that the rates are only $140 a pupil. Compared with the charge of $234 | per pupil in New Britain, the Mid- dletawn rate must be quite a bargain Berlin igh ding the Ne ne majority of Berlin's been school pupils have w Britain institution; it looks as der t cir nstanc will This the of them in the Middletown likely approximately half t £ more ture attend school. 1y m view of 1S partic act tl © stu- h om Berlin in the local h school do not graduate, which is to th T hool in this city, which in Middletown or Al from any sta gh s ddletown, w onal methods SDOMESTIC TEACHERS ONLY™ is 1o do with school costs, which Hup- stion” al- school OBTAINING AN AIRPORT Waterbury is not so far broke as to be itmelf of liaw 1 unable vith The 10 provide Chamt City 0 airport of Drass appears, 1iffic anfronted New Dritain =0 far When- to purcl decid e he purpose the price de- After several on Mt. Tobe asonable price was too high failures, the eite no such oppor- around New Rritain land, to the ‘oo rich tunity ci for the munici- 1y outlook v Brit- of those citles that can 70t find the money for a municipal pal financial blood. The continues about the same. 1 is one income irom Airport AGem not us yet seem to the high cxpenditure, in the of cre. M ite business in Hartford tant which than seme are to the centers of their respective cities. . and the probabl: a ustify opinion economically inclined nwhile plancs hav- New fritain utilize . "port. ten miles dis- " irports s closer to Now afn metropolitan NEW BRITAIN DAILY HERALD, SATURDAY, APRIL 27, 1929, AUTOMOBILE JUNK YARDS Something must be done with an- cient and decrepit automobiles. The |life of the average car for the aver- |age person is sald to be tive years; {then somebody who is not so par ticular can get a few more years of it automobile on the highway, no mat- it looks to the automobile junk yard travel out of Ultimately every ter how good e 000 automobiles in in the At least more that number have been country. than twice worn out. Their remains are in the places reserved for their reception, and the poor things are heginning to take up too much room. Also, sightly these junk yards are Indeed. very much so. Along nearly every highway they protrude ! their prese der raised It is nothing to won- t and with obiections have been the Legislature is con- question of doing rrage the develop- fronted the something to dise ich heaps of abandoned automobile trappings. various sorts art of tuxes pro- d won't do away with the Cus- of disposing of the old ateel, Un- practicable means is found v part ¢ will be need for places dispose of them. One observer ested t a He course ot at they be louded on scows and dumped into the Atlantic ocean, didn’t fear, it seems, that the fime such The a pro- ocean and ill up flow fure would tto o Millions of pounds of s ng 1 are Our vaunted effic go- to waste. ey d ds 1 to utilize very Kcientista could well ‘o the task of de- all this valu- MASS PRODUC AL ADV. ON AND NC and cts of muss produc- “ives u valuable contribution of Edward A. who the May pro con re- experie Bostor Atlantic Monthiy ener- | answers the ot trial life who profess critics our social well- ing as t of a m of the develop- civilization. Tt is th 1possible to rend impassioned s investigator of th "ree without con- controlled, ually will far niore of sees it, s that s leaders to “ir own prosperity is v turns into ghast Adue to & rs unless the pros- of the masses of the pople production R overproduction of masses ha v to consume th the ng power d. The ition, demands of modern vastly intensificd by duction, i8 forcing in organize In such a way as to isbes and enablo them on, e ite inception velopment.” A on- 1 eco- n say without ' 1 by in order profite wogen, p to greatest total pay ever tput dow oduction | connno rropoly increase is past. n day of 1 the Toston merchant it would be fooi- utomobijes or ocs if you were 425,000 for for each 1 ik 4 lowering < through larg: 1t Lian ust be Dud. at moods 1 tactur mors thoroughly e consuimner, | sate the mells that Mr. Filene When the price of eriphasizes goods ix ul f average buying thos: who could logically 4 to be interested in buy- I they remain unbought « old tndustrial system” Ktigator reports, produced only the of O atticles they t they could sell. Then, gen- computed their costs, «Ir profits and so establish- g price. Under mass pro- 4nd mase distribution. the #1 the public can pay deter- the selling price, and, as 8 the lower the price in set the the market and the greater totzl profits of hiz butiness. o vt Aind stranzely that the desire for profite i a feree for lower prices they the The manufacturer produces in such | volume that hix lower comts redireed overtieod expine en- le him 11 at a price the jmasses can afford to pay.” 1n of an old ayto- in. | mass pro- | g0ods | ¢ pro- ! pair of | Facts and Fancies Lindy shouldn't hate publicity. Without it, he would be flying a mail plane still, The most timid mald feels safe in the presence of two men—or one who is bald. The dumb brutes, however, have wit enough to shed their fur in lsymmer. Preparcdness is wicked ? the only creaturs that stores up ih»my has a weapon wmounted aft. ucation makes great changes. years agn comparatively few _crooks knew how to be croeked logally. No longer do the broadcasters all talk at once, but we wtill have bridge parties. Nature adjusts things, dear lady You hate these modern tight hats, but they will make you bald and then they won't be tight. | } Now they say Mr. doesn’t cuss much, prise us to hear that his pipe stem docsn’t reully draw the hot ambers from the top. Americanlsni: A conviction that o businese can be wicked if it pays ilvidends on a nijlion dollar invest ment Stitl if the world had no laws ex. “pt those oheyed by the law.-mak en the work of Moses would @ lost. ors, h | A visit to the old home town disappointing 1f you brag. you seem | an ads; and f can't understand you have hecyuie you don't, peopls how A sufficient commentary on men is the fact that girls quit marrying to get a home when new standards | made it possibl: to get a job. Among the frivolous places that up for the winter is the rumb'e | { 1t takes a ‘ot of nerve to brag on | the brains of a country where thou {"ands are in want and fruft rots 'for want of a market. What o language! The largest of pircons is caied a runt, and the lawyer’ 20 00G.word history of n ! case i called a brief. Anothier explanation of prosperity te the fact that goed fortune doesn < you under ohligation to buy & woman who worke be- s 6he has no mun thus depriv some tan of work and leskens her chanca to get a good provider. ‘ of It orrect this sentence: us corrects the child Pt “the other never butts in” Copyright, 1929, Publishers cloped in the common nig] over a petition of « Shurberg to move a buiid- Elm street to Hurlburt 1t dcveloped that Mr anted to move two buildings, and a photograph gallery in r. Mr -4 roekery and safd it should yoved. Mr. Landers, who - buslding. objected, and .Ir. 1 dist (tive ter o not be o, Qv ‘eaid had teen muginformed and the rerort was finally adopted. Willicm J. Hammer lectured de- figntfully on “radium” at the High school last night. The lecture sullic one under the s of the nific uksociation. ir. end Mrs. H. L. v York city. | Louis J. Mulier hias purchased the { property of the late Valentine Boller- the rner of Locust aud €nwood strevts. B. Cod ding the land 100! d | Mills are in in front ot demanded at meeting st nembers clves with tin cand admioson to all | necs fer entertsinme {in New Drituin. He wus voted down. jas ot sard members had an in herent right to inspect such perfort- ances, avvvay, and the idea savored |too mucih of graft Chiet Rawiings consulted Madame Wah Wai, a palmist, today. Khie told I him hie had & good life line and had Iw tyrbuient coreer. Ehe said he wan !about to have his possessions in- creased, Which the chief took 1ean the two new men about to be Jded to the foree e democrats in Plainvilie in icus last nignt with A, H. Dresser irman and H. A, Crstle elork Se- tman P. J. Prior and Repres ntu- tive M P. Ryder were elected del gates to the stute cofvention. Bon are anti-Hearst nien. In fuct, thoe ax absolutely no Hearst sentiment the menting. The Hersld today e Fivid n covers this ground under one head. It is the first time fne (Herald has attempted to collect | rporting news in this fashion for the Lenefit of wport devotees. The first rtory is about the return of Frvd ! Jean, the polo player, from the west. He had his best season. | | peter il e | |teature, | which it t Sports, Oinmh'om On The Weather Washingten, April 27.—Forecast for Southern New England: Fair Baturday; Sunday increasing cloudi- ness, not much change in tempera- ture. Forecast for E: Fair ®aturday; cloudinesa, probably «ho vers in notth and tinns. { stern New York: Bunday increasing fellowed by central por- | Conattions: contral over western Lake Ontario Thuraday evening has moved to the mouth ef the 8t. Lawrence with | reatiyal minished intensity. Well, | Dawes really | 80 it won't sur. ' important | said the | €1l has begun the work | to| new | The storm that was t Z LT | Nest ol communi et . Fw Nhop Fdltes e b the Sew Brir okl Al yuen et will he forwanky tn Sew Vork Mother Goose to Date! “Ba-ba blacksheep, have you any ball 7" “Yes sir, yes sir, Kinds enough for all, Moth for the housewife, the Loss golf for total lo At Fault! (after accident): use your emergency i Officer: | didn’t you | brake?” | Fair Motorist: “That's my inatruc- {tor's fault. He didn't tell me how 1 could tell when there was &n cmergeney —Mrs. A. Hill THE FUN SHOP NEWS WEEKLY Literary | Two new bodks about Moses have | been published but it does not ap- pear that either of them attempts a olution of the prohlem of where he wis when the light went out! o o Drama A man in court recently admitted | that he must have got intp an arg I ment hecause he woke up with a hlack eye. mourning after the nigh o e Sports » journal says some work "men can make new furniture look as if it was made a century ego. And so can rome children! e e Socin) “A plumber gets uscd to hix own assistant,” eave a neighboring news paper. “and wou'd prohably not get on =ith enyhody vlee's” One man's mate is another man's poison! o oo Raillo “Is there anything more pleasing {than to turn the dial of a wireless lset and listen to all the latest «ongs’" as<s a radio dealer Has he tried turning the dial the other way and shutting them off? Right! W English {5 a very flexi- langage. Hamilton: “Right. Seme people certainly can use it to stretch the ! truth | | | ble —Chester 8chmidt i i When one | i Shur. | Parker called the lat- | vy mupported him. Mr. Parker | al A Spring Opening! DO YOU BEL) N SIGNS? Asks Robert Karst Flonne looked worried. “You are worried,” 1 said to her. “Is there ‘thing moe than usual worryirg “It is the tising that bon't b vertlsing is i newest trend in advers worries me 2" she said. silly,” 1 told her. “Ad- cresting and frequent- Iy eniightening Maybe you drink. Mayte you need Don't chatter like tha tine, “and listen 1o me ever noticed anything. Lave noticed an ectric larging on the virtues of a type | writer. Tt says. ‘Children do learn vith a Royal Portable Typewriter 1t you den’t belleve it. first try it with one chiid and deny it to th other. " “1 don’t sea—'" “Of course not and that's why [ n telling you. Picture to yourself Madari X. She has two childie twine perhaps. She s an impr | rionable lady. one of whom life eusi- Iy stamps iteclf 8he hos heen to the | riovies and she walks down the #1e- nue and reads that sign. Ehe rushes into a shop and purchases a Roval | Portalile Typewriter and on reach {ing home she gives it to one chil land denies it to the other. What happens? Child A. with his chubby little fingers pressing against the Keys spel's aut ‘Now is the tim for all good men to comie 1o the all i.f the party.’ He learna quicky. He {1s a prodigy. and at the tender age i°' twenty-two ne is vice-president of j® bank. From there his rise ‘s i nieteoric and h- lives a long life, frich, happy, and well-bred But consider Child B, denied the typewriter. With pencil pointa {reaking under his manful endeavors lto write ‘The dog maw the cat’ he | gots discouraged. He appeals to his {mother for a typewriter, but she denies it to him, and his spirit in broken. The rupid success of his trother develops in him an inferl. need a wid 1o~ 1t you you wouid sign cnl- ority complex. At the age of thirty-| onc he expires ‘n a gutter, broken by fate, and high-powered advertin- irg. “1 am appalled by the evil that sign can do. 1 will weite to the pa- pers about 1t Even now little onen are being given a burden to carry ®ith them in a shameful death. iwhile athers, pampered unfairly are—" T left hew to huy A new cigaret® i 1 had seen very favorably advertised: Base for the office hoy, these days | “Why | Makes Random This Democrat Split With Nothing At Stake New Britain democracy may have the unusual experience of sceing the tail wag the dog. At this writing. it |appears that the younger democrats is having a difficult time controlling its direction. The reins of power have been | snatched from the hands of the town committee for the time being at least. As nothing is immediately at | stake—no contest looming until next spring—control has no special sig- nificance. All legal authority is vest- led in the town committee and its jacts will no doubt, be approved by {the state central committee in case of dispute. -The town members, while disliking the turn {the situation has taken, are reported to be resting their arms knowing that no occasion for questioning its authority can arise. But the swift movements of the younger democrats had a jolting effect, nevertheless. The real test, if there ever is one, will come next spring when a mayor and a slate of city officials will be | neminated. By that time harmonvy may reign once again and wounds {mey be salved over. Therc ik ude. {quate time for compromise. Grie: nces which now appear important may dwindle in importance. It is possible, of course, that they may zrow larger. | Mayor Paonessa, resticating on 1he | banks of Lake Congamond or stroil {ing through the country trying his eloquence on the pretty little fishes swimming in the brooks, may feli satisfied with the situation. When a ;n\nn'x on top he can afford to smile. Council Members G Results By Uniting Alderman David L. Nair of tirst ward demonstrated this w that he has the interest of his t heart, when he brought to the _tention of City Engineer Merian the | pressing need for improvements (which, it is expected, will he em- [barked upon very shortly. It is well ifor ward representatives, to grasp ithe common sense method of doing { ity business, which in the long run Lwill bring about better results than the tactics too frequently employ { by legislators who seem to think that {the lounder the noise they make the {quicker the desired ends will be at .‘!. ned, Council members who are wort® | of the places they hold, should read- ily appreciate the practicability of ! putting forth a united front when on | the trall of improvements. The first {ward members. if they persist in ! their plan of uniting behind the vari- | cus projects they sponsor. will socn [ find that the city departments to { whom they make their appeal Will be more apt to listen and act than th would if they were showered at ir- | vegular intervals with flurries of pe- |titions and resolutions. The history of the common counci. in New Britain is well filled with in stances of spasmodically energetic members who seidom hothered to follow up the matters they intro- | duced. They were in their glory on | council meeting night as they hundea lin petition after petition in addition {to numerous resolutions. and un | doubtedly they considered then [selves entirely efficient and alert | Maybe some of their constituent | thought so. too, but men who jmmn their mark in affairs of government i later not of that type. the at 1 the years werd Written hy itatn Man Praiscs Book son of New I Marlen Pew, writer of “shop Talk at Thirty” in Editor and Publisher, # the following to gay in the cur- fssuc | “If you are looking venture 1 suggest a copy of the Inew book ‘A Marine Tells It to | You' written by Melgr O. Frost ir collaboration with «ol. Frederic |May Wise, whose fighting exploits up and down the world are re- counted in a piece of writing that {made me proud of my valued friend. Meigs Frost, star man on the aff of New Orleans Rtates. A na- tive of Connecticut, Meigs started Lix newspaper career on New York Times from which paper he obtain- a1 a loave of absence gome apo for the purpose of making trip to Tewns, The wide-open sprees thrilled him and Lie worked for sev- en yeara on the Galveston-Dallas News. Visiting New Orle he met Col. Jim Crown, famed city editor of the States and joined his staff |where he remains to this day. still Jon from New York Times for an ad- 20 yenre leave Meigs Is the kind of a reporter you | tend about in fiction. Time and |again edilors have tried to chain him to desks of various kinds, but {the halter slips off and he plunges {again into the reporting job which he loves. Can he write? Tl say "And T suppose he has segn almost as much fighting as has Col. Wise. He told me last summer he had covered six or cight revelutions in Mexico und Central Amerien and hag scratehed a pencil on every big |story in the Gulf region for 15 lyoars. In the meantime he has bheen able to write scores of short stories, one drawing A second rat- ing from the O. Henry Committes |His present hook., which 1 hereby wcknowledge with thanks, is the best evidence of his ability as a re- inary Jtem! Mah gal am de toast ol de town Rastus: “Gwan, man. Who'd want any toast as black as dat!” —E. P. Lohr . Journalism? “He's & very valuable reporter.” “Yes® “Yes, sir. Not only can he run hours, but he can fasten !t on somehody Whose pie ture we have already in stock!” «~8amuel Beriiner Self-Evident! Clarke: “I wonder what that lew there does. * Gaines: “He's a mail ma Clarke: “How do you know?" Gaines: “He's so well-postcd ™ —Leroy Fink (Copyright, 1929. Icproduction Forbidden) fel are the tail and the rest of the dog | committee | THE OBSERVER- Observations Un the City anc Its Pevple anmnmmm“ porter of the old writing achool.' Meigs O. Frost is the son of {Howard B. Frost, who has resided |at the Stanley hotel for many years. hame on Chicago for Trying to Upset the Dietary lLaws Rally, New Englanders, rally! There's treason afoot in the land. Out in Chicago where the young {idea is taugnt to shoot straight. |they're banishing pie from the imenu served at high achool cafe- | terias. Shades of the Pllgrims who land- ed on that rock bound coast and. stopping at the first hot dog stand, {inquired “What kind of ple have you got?" { Through storm and rtress these {glorious United Btates have atrug- |gled forward with pie on the table lor In the pantry. Think hard and {try to recall any great general or |admiral who ever uttered a word |against ple. It can't be done. There |never was such an animal. | Pie has been the staft of life for | generations. It is something from | {which we have never been weaned. Tmagine a Thanksgiving table with- out several kinds of pie. The imag- ination staggers al the very sugges- ‘tion | What did those hardy pioneers {who rolled over the prairies in and Iwith their schooners have for |sert to holster up their wavering spirits? Pie, of course. In the thick of battle with Indians. many a tired invader of the golden west ate his |fill of pie and went back to the |fight with renewed vigor which made the Redskins flee. 1t n’'t %o long ago you would p into any well managed res- taurant in Boston and get a plate of beans, a cup of coffee and a ‘wodze of pie for fifteen cents. History tells us that King George shipped over an assortment of pies and demanded that the colonists pay taxes on them and that the col- | onists dumped them into the water and thumbed their noses at George land the rest of his crew. And ever since then children's epirits have I heen stirred by the story of the “Toston Ple Party.” When the common people of France complained to their quesn that they had mo bread to cat, she tartly replied “Well. then, eal pie.” Everyone remembers Kijling's | porm about “Gunga Dihn,” the regi- mental ple carrier who stumbled over dead bodies and reached the side of dying pie | Where, we ask in all seriousness, | would this nation hLe today if it wasn't for pi” No nation could live on cream puffs. for example. And while pigs knuckles and fruit ke make delicious eating, they can't take the plice of pie? n proponents of dill pickles and | pped cream don’t elaim that r favorite dish is a substitute for is the Sngluni the staple sweet in eve ne plus ultra of the breakfast table. It is New Eng {1and home. It is the crowning glory of the kitchen. And yet Chicago, d generate Chicago, flannts its de- generucy in the face of the fathers of this country and declares at high school luneh counters. The v effrontery of the city is in keeping with its character, Soon, for all we know, Chicago will fail to enforee prohibition. One downward step such as the educators suggest and the rest will be a plunge into i and wickedness, A child who lies is in danger of ending his days in prison because lying leads to awtul crimes, Thus it is with Chi- Ccago. One step away from the path of civic virtu: and Sutan will the rest. It wouldn't he surprising to Lear in a few yvears that Chicago is A town in which there is general conternpt for ,aw and order. Banish pie! Tear down the tatue of Liberty. bloa up the national capital. dry up (he Mississippi, let the elements eat away the Washing- ton monument, rip our national cul- ture out by the roots and fling it to the winds. but don't It them spread that horrible i1dca ubout pic not Le- inz good for u percon. N we ha v a twenticth amend ment ou shall not vat pie?" No, all the herces who ever fought und bled for their country f by 1 that we ho.d dear in our his. I tory and in our homes, we shall op- | pose such w course with our last | breath. Give us pic v by or give us death Boad Project Contrary 1o Pay as Yon Go Policy Senator Hackett of New #ncere in his attempt to have the #late issue honds for improvements in its hospitals and other inst {tions. But if he s at all fa | with politics as played by the . republican machine he rust realize that he i& simply knocking hix head ag inst & stone well, For years it been Connecti- {cut’s proud boast that this common- (wealth pays as it goes. It matters 'not that sometimes we don't seem to be going any plice. Governor Trum- bull has been euphonionsly dubbed “Pay as You fin” John and the name ! hes stuck. 1t is a label of the ad- ministration und it has served well (as a slogan during political cam- paigne It was applicd to the execu- five In the course of a banquet or omething and it has «tuck like I&lue. Tt appeals to the imagination An individual who paym hiz bills omptly is Jooked up to in the jcommunity. It, therefore, follows, according 10 our wise legislators !that a commonwealth which does Jersey is miliar {not contract any hills which it can- | |not pay when due {Hlarly regarded #hould be alm- in this galaxy of {down ulmost any murder within 24 pricht staten. The policy may be ef- |pear to be a ha {meet his purse. But with a state. the |solution 1a not so casy. No father | would hesitate to assume reasonable {oblizations %o that modical experts |mizht he engaged to attend his sick {child. But Connecticut—Pay as Yon Gn Connecticut—refuses to contract {d-h'a 50 that the inmates of hos pitals and asylums may have proper iaccommodations and care. Why? [ Reeonse the Pay as Yon Qo policy Ihas been establiehed and no amount master and fed him 'y, of the ghosts! that pie will not be served ! do | ~leoms lof reasoning can budge the admifis. tration from this course. During the fall campaign for state officers in 1928 democratic speakers hit stralght from the shoulder and told the people of conditions existing in state institutions. But the count of votes showed that their amser- tions were taken with a grain of salt. The republicans accused the democrats of being prompted by politics in describing conditiona. But they never have been able to deny the truth of the charges. Now the matter has been brought to the attention of the state assera- bly. It has been asked to authorize |a bona issue so that conditions may {be improved. Senator Hackett is bold enough to make the suggestion, He deserves more consideration tham he will get. Inmates of public institutions are said to have adopted the slogan, “Pray as Connecticut Goes.” ANDY'S GARDEN WAS NOT S0 HoT Explains Why He Will Not Pur sue Agriculture (Contributed) | ! Dear Mary Ann: In the spring a young bachelor's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of overhauling the family bus, trying out for the ball team, or having » garden plot. Owing to my lack of success with last year's garden my thoughts, if any, have detoured {from the last named. Even though [you instructed me on how to garden all 1 ever raised successfully was |something the kids could use on {Halloween, though I've tried cvery- Ithing to get results except the {recipes from a cook hook. Some may (e able to grow sun flowers in a or potted plants in a thimble |but it seems all T ever grew without {help corns. | Like many an amateur 1 started {With a fistful of sced packuges, six cylinder enthusiasm. and wound up {in a porch rocking chair with & bottle of liniment. It being a tosse up which developed the most body squeaks, the chair or me. Up aut dawn with a hoe and 10 bed at dusk with u crop of blisters, calluses, and 1108quito bites. When the plot wasn't providing free parking space for empty sardine cans or what have you, it was serving as a picnic ground for all the bugs and insects lin town. Among the things I turncd up with the soil was the lost handle (bars from the kid brother's bicytle. two sections of stove pipe and ahout vard of worn out brake lining, Not to mention what was left of the ularm clock 1'd heaved outa the |window 1o hreak up a midnight cat jauartet that was practicing some- [thing on a fish that didn't !sound like any lullaby end which !was no more soothing to the nerves than a flapper's chattering is to a tired business man. The only time |1 get relief from the back breaking |Sctting-up excrcises was when I per- |suaded a neighbor to practice his {KOIf shots on the plot. But when he wanted me to act as caddie to replace the divots his mashie dug it took all my will power to reach for lLucky instead ot a hoe handle to crown him with, Even the string heans wouldn't string along in harmony. They seemed 10 have plenty of speed but |10 control as they climbed all over {the place, entwining ifi pettin® party fashion around some tomato plant and to s e 'em from the elinch without choking one or the other you'd hafta be a licensed referee, The only pumpkin 1 had grew so lop-gided it could easily pass for ite nearest relative, One was flar enough to as a4 paperweight [while the rescmbled a hay window with a southcrn exposure Bomething else 1 raised was a flower named hanic's Delight To help §t along 1 did everything except scrape the carboo from the stem or feed it gas and cil. I'd have done this only a fella told {me the only things that need the rbon straped wa spark plugs, {exlinders and the old gent's corn- cob pipe. Other flowers 1 planted {were no more beantiful than thos that pecl off the wallpaper in the oarder’s bedroom. 1 failed to be- corme ouraged until by T'd planted all of the pills the to cure a cold. give er or I'd have et that out too. But what made my goat kick up | mofstu was a steady downpour [t would make Old Man Nouh {place patches on his Lip boots, put up the one-man top, and look to his |Steering gear. This shower didn't {do anything except make the home grounds %o wet the plants in the first three rows, also those in the |bleachers, pass out. And T don't riean rainchecks. 8o that's how Mary, 1 gave up being chame 4 1o young plants and chauf- to a cultivator, |cave scale si use ather Me alm mist absentniindedly ber feur | Minis DY DALE., ter Likes Company, Wants Front Pews Filled Decatur, 1L, April pP)— When Rev. Allen L. Eddy, pastor of the Congregational church hers, {delivers @ sermon, he likes to have his lsteners well down in front. I"or some time members of his [flock avoided the front pews, sitting {in the rear of the church. After ‘Wulrlllnx the procedure for several Sundays, Eddy procured a large l‘rop' and roped off the back pews. The idea helped matters along & lgreat deal. the minister admitted. v {Woman Dislocates Arm | Playing Bridge Game | Winside, Neb., April 27 (UP)=To the casual player, bridge may ap- rmless game, but almost alWay® foo(jve in the case of an individuai | Miss Ella Durham, a tescher living because he can limit his needs to here, believe it is u strenuous sport. She is suffering from a dislocated larm—the result of playing bridge. She was dealt an unusual hand. In expreasing her surprise and pleasurc, I|she waved her arms in the air and lelapped her hands jo vigorously that |her right shoulder was distocated. £chool was closcd the next day. Thirty per cent of the male stu. dents at Maraustte nniversity, M waukee, belong to fraterniies.