New Britain Herald Newspaper, October 30, 1926, Page 6

NEW BRITAIN AILY HERALD, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 30, 1928 ] business man was a wide-awake | who left his mark upon the devel- | opment of the hardware business. | New Britain Herald HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY “ormation of an automobile club Tesued Dally (Sunday Excepted) At Herald Bldg., 67 Church Btreet. | : .|1n this city seems to have its prime | | object in the claim that New Brit- | SUBSCRIPTION RATES | $8.00 & Year. | ain “is no longer a suburb of Hart- | SEM ERae N et ford.” And this is a good reason. | |1t Hartford still regards us as | suburb it is rather surprising. The Entered at the Post Office at New Britaln gy ; as Second Class Mall Mi | state’s fifth city is no suburb, and it 1sn't in the position of one, de- | TELEPHONB CALLS spite its closeness to the capital e ot = | We can stand on our own feet—or ride on our own tires, to fit the | metaphor to the proposed automo- | The only profitable advertising medium | A DLOW | in the Cty. Circulation books and press | bile club. | foom always open to advertisers. | = | SHAVING CUPS GONE | Member of the Associated Press. R sl I The Amsociated Prems ia exclusively - | BUT NOT FORGOTTEN | Htiea to the use for re-publication of | Tps shaving cup — the star- all nows credited to it or not otherwise | | e fn*‘this paper and also local | spangled receptacle for suds and a | news published therein. fancy brush-de-chin — where has 1t vamoosed? No more, on entering t Circulation. undit Burean o “y al arl " 3 b A R mational organisation (@ “tonsorlal parlor” Is one con which furnishes newspapers and adver|eronteq with shelves sporting a tisers with a etrictly honest analysla of Heerhation. | Our circulation wtathatics | golden galaxy of names of promi- ’5 f;:{‘b:fg'::"::;:" to both national and | jattareq “who's who' in local cir-| i | cles. i LT . The shaving cup era was at its : | A c.nff:"“‘:":','m"sm':f_“‘d" BUmACY | that day of Innocuous thrills and | SRt e Gt T persorial il iberty; fhase Rhachlnse rs | | v, Ly | Of barbering exclusiveness have | The New Haven raiiroad, =L}, "o Gay of chin whiskers, | h transporta- | struggling for as muc | Van Dyke beards and high hats to 1y as possible, again 1S A | Sunday church services. at grips with an independent bus {50 e a pus| Some shops still display a limited company. It there r Waterb od Hart. | Rumber of shaving cups; just like ceen Waterbury a - lige; botwaen vt } | they still display attenuated or di- ford, through Bristol, it is to be ! : S e ocand minutive barber poles. But it is i grerated |57 e New | G0UBLIUL Whether they mean much. | company, New | i Tnmonien . | Perhaps there are a few high hat- i Haven's subsidiary — according to| ters left who havé their private i the New Haven railroad. It is to . | e | cups at their favorite barbe be hoped the Public Utilities Com- i 1sid ot thevlats as Lo number as those ok 1 $ | who go out buggy riding. The fe i careful scrutiny of the contentions.| i i k | cups and prominent names remain, | The facts are the New Haven sub- : but their chief function is to give | i sidiary has not been acting toward ; | ot a sense of stability and standing to furnishing bus transportation to . | W o | the business. Some of the cup | the towns and districts affected, yet ! | “owners” haven't been seen using | when an independent is prog i : i : | 'em for years. i enough to desire starting such a = L | service the New Haven opens up| ° ot many years ago, when a its barrage of opposition and lets gentleman of parts went to New York on business, to see the new | it be known it wants the franchise for its pwn subsidlary. Public senti- | Plays or to have a high old time 4 the in- [away from domestic care, it called i ment rightly tends towar | ‘ | dependent bus line promoters un- | for an item In the Herald. There | der these circumstances. | were ahout 100 shaving cups in | e Pete Crona’s barber shop on Main | I The technical engineer brought | street, and among the cups present | | to the clity by the building com- | Was one the exclusive property o | | mission for the purpose of investi- | ve clty editor of the paper. It was | gating structures suspected of not | the custom of the day for men being as staunch or safe as reason ‘ with items of news to place nnts«u: would dictate, succeeded in locating | In the city editor's cup — and three bulldings which will require |sometimes important news Ups| attention. This is not as bad a re- | ¥ere delivered to the news office in | sult of inspection as some citizens | that manner. The city editor, of feared would eventuate. Granted | course, called at the cr shop 2 that the outside engineer a|every day, regardless of whether man thoroughly capable of making | he needed a shave. | If, on such visits, it was noted decisions of this kind — and there | have been no claims to the con- | that the shaving brush of a widely trary—it will be in line with wis-| dom for the owners of the build-| known customer and shaving cup | proprietor had not been used re- Ings affected to make such repairs | cently, it meant that something as will conform with the requests|Was amiss. Inquiry promptly was | of the building commission, based made, resulting in the thrilling | on the law. To make alterations|News ltem that so-and-so was | before the possibility of accident is | elther home sick with “la grippe” | or was taking a trip to Chicago. | the cheapest way in the end. Few newspaper readers of the day | | i The independent voter was fully | Fealized that a considerable portion recognized by the President of the of their news provender saw da United States in the recent letter | !i8ht via the | ing cup. medium of the shav- i that Mr. Coolidge sent to Francis | | Prescott, chairman of the Republi-| Th¢ a shaving mug collector 4 Sanl atwial commities: of Alasgachy-| |1 pieiatate bt FIIEERERdUATters asfts. The letter in reality was in- | 8ré unknown. The barbers merely i fended to ‘reach Bay State voters in | KNOW he is in business somewhere the attempt to help Senator Butler, [and he apparently is m king it pay. | Ahe hard-pressed. The appeal, it is| For years he has been buying up | i being pointed out, was mot based |©ld shaving cups. provided they | 1 on party conslderatic nor did it | have the names of their erstwhile | refer to party platforms or 1mw" owners” upon them. They are eas patriotism. It was primarily an ap- | t0 Dbuy as when barbers f a peal to the independent voters of shaving cup has not been used for | Massachusetts, who will decide the |fve OF ten years they are justfied | | election. The campaign in Massa- |10 concluding its owner is no longer chusetts, by the way, has been en- | Interc sted and has abandoned his tirely nonpartisan, in a nse, | property. The mug collector watches | party lines being almost entirely | the papers in the state, and when- | submerged. The “scratching” of |ever he fifds someone dying whose tickets In favor of one or another |©0ld-time shaving cup is in his col- ] candidate will be the rule rather |lection he goes to the children and than the exception. Massachuseits ! sclls the cup at a handsome figure, | voters are using their heads. n it becomes a family heirloom. | _— | having cup vogue has been | The warning given slow drivers |Years ir but it's about | by the motor vehicle department 5OnC. T lespread use of safety | well taken; but it does not |razors h expire. The v mean that slow drivers are told to|men who veterate shaving | become speeders when driving to a|m rs were carliest foothall game or using the to self-shaving habit, roads upon any other occasion. T wing faluable time. department apparently is trying to But bha also hav educate the public into driving ur inged in ing nowa- | formly 'well, mot faster than tho days is m line xae ot average and not slower. Thus|least is only the heginning of the | | there will be less effort to “loop | barber's tricks. Barbers nowadays A the loop” by drivers impatient to[are expected | \lesmen—sell- i g advance slow vehicles | ing an electr & shampoo cail and cons less of or a dg other y and ex- for accldent. The slow d h c The man Y not himself get into accldents very | who escapes with mere veth i frequently, but 1} eniably | shaved must the aljlity to | causes others to conrt ter. The | say *r vith emphatic meaning less of this there is on a I and he is one of the r ity congested highway the safer it will| The st cup here it still H be. ¢ — is a relic of a bygone day when “prominent ' citizens” had i Scarcely a day passcs without | need for fes of life as chronicling the death of some |found in barber shops of the past prominent man. The latest to cnter ence there L species "of | the dark unknown is Georgo I hered club life, where a man on Taylor, vice-president of the Av calling was sure to find his nei fean Hargware corporation and |bors, his eronics or his chums general manager of the - Corbin [swap all the gossip of the town.| eabinet Jock division of the corpor No reporter could begin to mak tlon. Mr. Taylor was not as widel t with his city editor without be- known as a “public man,”~ but he|ing on intimate terms with the bar- i bers and by leading leading citizens who gathered wit the dally nearly- attending rallles of and in the shade of the mugs along the walls. JUST BEFORE THE BATILE OF VOTES Jorts differ as to the extent of the election interest in the ous states. In Massachusetts and New York, for Instance, ihere is carcely ar son for General Apathy to be in the saddl in spite of all the fervid declarations, counter charges and what not charges, not, the public as a whole does to be Yet body can really tell; the public a jts interest spectacular days of torchlight parades and po- seem wildly excit no- show in may manner than in litical demonstration. No one need deceive himself that the election next Tuesday is not one of exceptional importance. An clection which means the control of Congress cannot help being otherwise, while the special lssues brought forward in some of th states need no verbal embellish- ment to emphasize their character. Yet, in spite of all this, not more T 1 | takes a million or more to mal than 60 per cent of the people are | the experts expected to take trouble to vote; and some cynically post the that. One must not overlook the fact that a great many women do not make a practice of studying politics In the South a large proportion of the Ne- percentage at less than and refraln from Voting. groes prudently remain at home; and in other parts of the country the rural voting is greatly affected by boisterous weather. Only In the clties is voting made comr vely easy, and In these the chief com- petitor is said to be the automobile —instead of helping in the voting, as one would think — and the radio. The latter invention, how- ever, has been an aid to candidates whose partles think enough of them to pay the broadcasting com- panies for the privilege of “going on the air.” It is said that only the President of the United States is privileged to make an air address without cgst. ND THE FARTH The is near enough to Mars again earth tronomers, planet the to but the same disappoiniment fs mani- speclally interest to fest as came to the astronomical world essentially new was told are not All of which what nothing We tele- a ar when y ago, scovered. are this year that the opes strong enough. But may be true. all to is self-evident, from have deducted th human astponomers the present time, is that is no life approxim beings upon Mars. What might have been once befol upon developed another a time, acons upon the That fleld ways yemain one for a wide diver- earth, is matter. will al- gence of speculative activity. Mars appears to be a planet.” Maybe it once teemed with “dead its m all flesh highly developed existence dwindled upon the pl say it is slowly dwindling upon the earth. ons, who went the way of when the resources for a ct, even entists Or conditions on Mars may never have permitted life to develop beyond a certain primary and primitive stage. ons of years from now per- sons on some other planet may be pointing their telescopes at the earth and saying there s no sign of life upon it, that in its condi- tion it couldn't sustain life, and it is a question whether life ever ex- isted upon it. And 1 lation. of course, i R NG IT four ye ago the opened in \delphia for a few wecks' stay before re- to New York. What the public and the ecritics didn’t do to it in quaint and silent Philly was aplenty Yet this play has proved to be one of the stellar artistic successes of the American st It has been successful not because it appealed to the superficiality of headed majority, but be intensely dramatic, well con- ted and drove liome a story with the force of a pile driver. Now that it has been showing four a half ycars it is closing its carecr. For several years now it hus been advertised as the orld’'s test ma,” which i f'4 me,” as the barber shop 0y 1y And e is its carcer being closed ? Oh, merely in L’hi phia After that city di red how it 1 blundered it was cager to see the play again ¢ ts earlicr opinion, 3 critics in I week have been,most kind First ot the realistic plays of proved that it is hard to kill of realty good drama, There an 200 wornen Lcting of ortant bus- iness concerns in England, ) ) | thunder out of date | Col | FactsandFancies BY ROBERT QUILLEN By Robert Quillen The height of absurdity exposes the bloomers. As we understand it, it's all right to be kidnaped, but you mustn't lie about it. ad- any An’inferiority complex has It doesn't prompt body to write a movie scenario. A poor crook is just & crook. antages. bankrupt.” Gambiing must be very old. Sure- | ly the first man wouldn’t have eat- en an oyster except on a bet. Duelists in France should mod- | ernize and use boxing gloves at thirty pace How awful, years after, to see the individual you once delighted to kiss. | | Only the fit survive. You must have some skill as a crook to get| enough money for a machine § The way to win 18 to believe that makes might and then lick the opposition. right It plants really suffer, it must| console a small boy to reflect that pinach is boiled There's just as much horse sense | t's sion as ever. the horses. You seldom find a pacifist who will smile forgivingly when a small- er guy insults him. Alas! one reason why the Repub- licans have all the scandals is be- cause they have all the money. | | Only those have a right to be ashamed of age who have nothing worse to be ashamed of. It the boss tries working only five | days, the next great building boom | will be poor houses | There’s room In almost every | highway for a school bus and the | half of your car that isn't in the iiteh Everybbdy is thinking of Queen Marie only, but we know a certain husband who is having a pretty | good time also. | Correct this sentence: “I have 4 on my insurance* said he, “but I'll pay it back promptly.” (Protected by Publishers Syndicate) | 25 Years Ago Today | 3, rd F. Gafincy nominated R. J. Vance for delegate to the con- stitutional convention at the demo- cratic rally last night, and the la tter was nominated. T t meeting of Esther Stan- ley Chapter, D. A. R., for the sea- son was held this afternoon at the home of Mrs. Frank J. Porter on West Main street. The next meet ing will be with Mre. F. G. Platt. Three loadled cars going at smart clip were wrecked near the freight depot today. The two brakemen on them, John Saquire and John Gar jumped, but Squires was badly shaken up and had to quit work for the day A defect in the Globe Clothi House store caused the gong ring last night. The police notified by telephone and an officer soon stopped the ringing. City Clerk Alfred L. Thompson fasued notices today for a hearing before the sewer committee next Monday night to be given to op- ponents of the sewer in Elm street. ruant Officer McCue's report for | the month is as fol Totz number of cases reported kept | home by parents 37, kept home by rcason of sickness, 15, truants 11. Happy Hooligan,” a farce com- edy based on illustrations in one of {he New York Sunday papers, will be presented as a comedy at the Lyccum this crnoon and evening. The Young Peoplc's society of St. John's German Lutheran church celebrated its nth anniversary evening. Rev. Martin Gau- dian made remarks and Louis Lehr gave a recitation. A comedy sketch was presented by Tillie Gurber, Mrs. C. Young, Max Unklehach, Peter Nuss and William Zeigler. Sixty-six applications for liquor have been filed by New Trumbull of Plainville, Mr, of New DBritain, 1 Mr. Hartford have lcft for a two hunting trip to Maine. New Dri team has ced its follows: Maynes, a| to were ows: a Le sev last permits of ain polo st player a Lincoln ki Observation On The Weatker FORE sT Fastern New York — Partly | cloudy, cooler in extreme south portion. Sunday partly clondy. Southern New Lngland — Partly | clowiy and slightly cooler on th coast Saturday; inday partly | clondy | Northe New England — Partly cloudy slightly cooler on the coast Saturday; Sunday partly cloudy. | CONDITIONS High pressure proy from the South Atlantic states eastward to | 1t Wil be slizhitiy cooler Satueday along the North Atlantic cost, | it an’ see. H'm! —_— e | Send all communications to Fun | Shop Editor, care ©Of the New | | Britain Herald, and your letter \ will be forwarded to New York. s me To Light TUp, Folks! s light our joke-o-lanterns so Not only Hallowe'en will glow But all the nights and days be gay With mirth that chases gloom away! Couldn't Be Hodgson: “I don't know whether it was your wife or not. I don't W her very well.” Coombs: “Did she have a short “I didn’t notice the “Then it wasn't my THEY CAN HAVE IT! By Walker L. Willlamson it before my radio listened to some fight returns; 1 And In my mind’s eye I saw each blow, I saw the shifty twists and turns. |T heard the yelling of the throng, My speaker brought in every sound, The second’'s shouts, the time; gong That stopped and started every round. The fellow who described the fight Called off each uppercut and blow, ch wallop, left, and right, f flesh and claret's flow. ngth the fight came to an Sercnely T prepared for bed: The winner earned, and now will A hundred thousand bucks, it's said! i That may be easy money, but | For twice that sum, all in a bunch, I wouldn't take one uppereat, One kidney poke or stomach punch. One blow, such as they deal in strife, And some nlce hearse would cart me hence; And men Wo To sell her pi 1 call upon my wife tty monuments! | What's In a Name? Hammond: “Why was that Rus- sian play such a complete failure? I thought it was going to be very Producer: “Oh, the public liked all right. but it took all o the light the electric sign | suce it profits to ith the name on it.” —Mildred L. Eysma easier to get a police dog than a policeman! is 1t nowaday THE ADV FURES OF ONYX AND FLORIAN | % i t| Thursd ht, a number of yasstsesrsssntassassastersassssssess o 4 3 SEIIIIANEIIIINAIIINNNTINNRRIIINALUL | dealers in roofing materlals came to Ye Observer has been observing will give an imitation of a Swedish | B themselves to the movies or take la lot of things latel. but it's quite |lawyer defending an Irish client. | (1C family car out for a spin. Con- |a while since he has looked in or| “And now we come to the end of S el by ol il took part in a iublic danc Not |the avenings. promram. (the - pogr | ShoUlder the responsibility for radi- that he doesn't care for danmcing|duck the* stuck it out deserves am |CiL chamges In the laws governing or that he holds alogf from anything | engraved loving cup) and we all | r¢,City and in many instances, this public, but: becauda he just dldn't|nop that you have enjoyed your-| ot s Sroup takes actlon without be- | ot there, that's all. Salves at {he other /lend ot the Wira |- s oncewith sugEeations intended ‘r They say cach generation is get- | (vou were at Br thani L] g building code, a |ting weaker. JF they are, the weak [am—vyou dor R L Sl True, their Shestaertatily) dolaot Atow lluh vt hove to hex Trom youl(L Bt walaol | oo CRtons xesilien mromipros dsuces, At @ recfht dancs held in|a black hand letter from tonightis]bo oo, Smeddments by the building |town the fact was evident that to assortment) a.d so we sign o commisslony hu ling i hcos, mon Sl o the strong belonged all the dances.|Stashun BZZV—signing off at 11:42 | ArC NOW 80 gencrous with theirgsug- One. dance ‘after anothers with, the | (don't et ypur. watch by that,|Scorons taken heed of the notites muslc elternating’ from medium to |though) and wo say ‘Good night, | O mectings when the code was in slow and then to double quick time. | (Better luck next tir Rrogess ration, a wealth of It Wfls a pretty fair s per to SRR jvl‘u-H. ’rvrrv- nation of a technical keeD in time. Tt isn't like the old- prevention, like hash ana|Nature would have com® to the ord- en times. Iveryone then danced in |w best show in town is, is| Pance committee and the steps that a like manner but now every fellow |o of the greatest problems of th ust now be taken if the code is to has his own idea of stepping and | country today, » Hardware ( be improved would have been woe to the girl who does not pick up | publication of t) New | avoided. casily on the dance floor. If she|Chamber of Commerce, is therefore| Nobody appcars competent to |has adopted one way of dancing she |to bhe commended for the article on | Properly analyze and explain the is lost. The a1 rage girl, providing | this subject in its latest issue, but apathy of the general public i n {she is what Is called a good dancer, [that exposition should he somewhat | Matters of government. “Let Georgo can master more difficult steps than | cnlarzed to make it absolutely clear, | 40 1t” is a prevalent motto. it seems; many of our stage performers Who |The most striking statement is that 8nd it IS siznificant that the criti- learn but one or two types of |$1000 worth of property is burncd CISm that rolls through the corri- dances. up every minute, and & life Is lost | A0TS.of city hall after something Thero are the same number of |by fire every 35 minutes. Can’t you |Das been done contrary to the opin- wall flowers as in by-gone days but | fust imagine the undertaler fons of those outside the official with many of them, it is a case of ing their 1alr if a 35-minute family generally has its inception the girl desiring to dance with a cer- | passcs and nobody IS hurne among the gr portion of tha tain young man and refusing anyone | death? Following are some of the | €itiZenry who will not lift a hand else who may ask. Unwittingly she IS | safcguards recommended, with our | !0 advise the city fathers when as- putting herself in wrong with the |amplifications: sistance and suggestions are most boys she refuses as there may be| o . {needed. other times wlen she wounld &ladly ‘,Of]“,jf"‘”.‘\j"“\"‘"';"5:;"";': purns ::’“" e T dance with them if the opportunity KHOW AW yOUr ears: somopmen | < presented itself. burn, At any rate, washing the | COMMUNICATED Then there are the young men :'”,’y gy W‘(’]‘»'H' her "] B UR s who walk up and down the lines, [t0 become & flaming youth. 5 s iry sl Wcespimatehioa in kel iehosen ) TIRE BEED TEROR o might say. We now what | Where children cannot reach them; New B Mol récord worst In State, the qualifications should be but | dont bother it they are those un-| oW R e D they do pass up some pretty nice |lightable Swedish ones, L.‘w‘»:\"‘ employer of children in girls, Of course they have their| DOt keep ashes in wooden | HReCTo et cstlmate byltho B R e | i ey ork permits issued the But in spite of the fact that the electric wir ("‘w\_"””/“'l'\”";v'_ :fi':‘l(‘"fr h'%:ist six voung people of today are more |wi o Ghm oy QR R S blase, more carefree, they have a | electr ight be arrested il This Is not accurate, zood time in their own way and are | for viol Ao aT e but will serve for a comparison, as- happy. After all, happiness sought Don't ollENE cords on the population of all after in the right way, is all that is | nails. Tk t bre e el < clties has incrensed in some- needed to help the world go xound | Be carcful with « I atiton s Ealke licasamalir et |and there is no crime in dancing |In other words, aim str AleeiE g brdnallonE R4 bp HoT T EEn {when is brings enjoyment. Snn o (e e e U ;‘v“w!‘“x vears of age to Dh {x et ve school with work permits last I Vo ton Fonncrcd it i L8 sty [‘“A\‘m;‘w:\“l'w‘m!"'h hereas Hartford, which is radio announcer thinks about as he | ceiiings or wooden pariitions. Leave ably more than twice as wearily applauds every selection Sent [yo open end in the room; the S00t | jeers { Ll G 1 £ Dt I G out from his ' station. Desperately | AAn R Hae | et population of frving fo keep his votce charged | o cit T DS o M0 g | Haxttord large as New with energy while ,)w is rv;wnvm, e T G e b Britain's, we ¢ that New o himselt that never, never again " & SOIE, U FROE SR aints record 1S a worse one th holoing foftake meignnorainiomel|o8C S RURET R R AES RS LEHENE BHIRE nort vatebiiny, | Stamtordioe talent brew without a Imus PAICT of all to understand; it you screen ren Tow Iiaven Made, (o pEcpoes orchestras and thousands of people | h“‘r' ,f;'(‘_”";( gas stoves with|chilgren to go to work with only a who have at some time in their life, | FERIE 080 Is too great a|gih grade cducation; Hartford twice S .l |temptation toward suicide, and, be been assured that they are positively | FHE AN AT e and, be-| a5 jarge, released only 125 6th |a circus, It a large and sleek tiger,|Sides the rubbcr might stretch your | graqers; and Bridgeport and Stam- Should ersep up behind him during |87 PUL p | ford none at al. |%is introducing remarks and start | Don't uso gasoline or benzine to| Again, 236, or more than half of Miawing on his right ankle, he cleans > clothing near an open flame. | thoge were granted work gpermits in Tound by his job not to break off |The landlord might sue you for de- | New Britain, had not fiffshed the announcing “The Deliriously Jovous |struction of propert The best|grammar school. In Stamford, Boys, Ed and Elmer, who will enter- | thing to do is to blow out the flame | \aterhury, Hartford and New Have tain you with a few s fons on | first. |en respectively, the numbe s the bass horn and steam calliope.” Donjcglset Lo onc tanzinel onlexy RS mmmflr.;znn\a\r: o hjeetion of that mythical |naphtha in lighting fires—unless | nore the foroign pogulation i truth serum that we heard so much |You can get out the window in 10 |)ike that of New Britain less than a |about awhile back would probably |seconds flat. These liquids light the | gip- bring forth some announcements |fire too succes and hardly give | Nore than this, over a third of By Paul S. Powers | Chapter I Onyx—Well he done is 1n ie melon patch! § An' AW hunt around foh a ripe one. Lay close to de ground, big boy! | Florian—Uh, huh. Afn't it dark? It's darker dan mah mothah's uncle ! | on Dis scoms to be @ oo watermelon—AWIL thump | nice T Sounds greenish! Hey, dat ain't no melon! ow! yo' haid, Tlorian s mah haid! It keep 1t its’ shut! Dat fahmer— Bang! Ponk Wham! Bang! yo' stoppin’ Florian—Well, hat Onyx—My feet ' What's noise, black boy? Florian—Dem'’s corpuscle d hounds! Onyx—If'n dey blood dey's out going ter keep min stuff! Plorian—Great Hoodoo! syeriff! De jig is up! Onyx—De jig is jus’ beginnin’— we'll be jiggin' in de chain gang foh de next six months! Don’t shoot bhoss, unless you wants yo' bullets to run themselves ter death! We surrenderfies! JFlorian—Uh, huh, we is capturat- ed! Ole Man Trouble, what did ran off barkin’ Ah done dat dogs — lookin® foh | cause Ah's do yo' 1s luck, Legs, Here's | Florfan an’ Onyx evah do ter you? | (To be continued) | Il Il . e Son— || “Great Guns! That pup sure packs some bark No Li Bss here! You told my of- fice gir that you wanted to see | me on a atter of life and death Salesman: “I do, sir, I want to| sell you some life insurance.’” —Paul Gunder THE PI-EYED POSTOFFICE (Fzra Triplett, Postmaster) Postmaster: “Looks like you was in fer trouble.” A. Dedd Beat: “How come Postmaster: “Well, from what I kin' make outa this pust-card, one o' yor creditors scems like he was irritated. the least leetle bit” A. Dedd Beat: “Let's sce it— oueh! “F T 8 Q politely U nevR pay, by gum, Makes Random Observations On the City and Its People ke this: Helehllase : 4 B evening folks (blah,) this s | Don't go into closets with lighted ‘L:fx‘\(;,»‘\“bn‘; T:nm;n l\\‘n?‘k ?;:sv‘l\xh?rlcxf; |station BZZV (you ought to know matches or candles They £1V6 | wwent from the high school h;):lo‘;\l'v that by th no—your set can't janyone hiding there 00 500d a Shot | 17 wer cent. of thoss whe loft i | 7ot anything else) and we are all jat you. B G & e Tor onr regular evening pro- | Remember there Is always danger Now Brisin everiectilntortie i gram (and what a program it is). |in the discarded cigarette and cig: | Who determines the number of Tirst on the list we have Miss stub. Your hand may be crushed | onjiq Iaborers in our et s’r"l']a Bertha Blurp, soprano, (at least she reaching for it. b ethte v;xn",;‘whc ”“f”*- s ‘k {ill claims she is) who has been | what's the use of trying to |30 AT LT ot ‘ea with us hefore (yes, all too often, in nt fives? The firemen are £00d | gation. who are give L facty. Miss Blurp will (endeavor to) |fellows and shouldn't be thrown out |jaw- EiNoD DOy er DY 0N ing “To a Safety Mateh” by Gloss- |of work. And if there are no fires |~ o Jaw gives the agents power French names give me wah (thesc 2 elven st & pain In fhe {eelh—whar's the mat- | firo. insurance? |and responaily in the oite ot ter with singing something by @ e : A ; 4 man named Smith?) Miss Blurp— | Without going on record as to the :”‘“‘ fi“}‘” besisaned uniese il il T dom't blame mo for what fol- |merits of the “stool pigeon” meth- | oo wios w,‘"'”f“"",t? thosanthorty, lows). Four little_dots to signify lods employed by the local police de- I{:)" ‘4,21‘.' é“r‘;\fdcyj’t‘a‘”v’;mt“ ’:Slmflfrh Miss Blurp's Singing - . . - partment in 1ts drive to rid the city | puct! WECIEOR e ™ tnat You have just heard Miss Bertha | of “plind tigers,” “holes in the wall” | ¢} certific =U‘ S 25 Blurp sing (U1l never get to heaven land, in the language of the police ’";,‘mp-‘,m] o8 ;(fl i "‘“ be ],"?"“" it T stick to this job) “To a Safety | “liquor dives” it is a fact that more | o &6 el '?ol“‘,r,aT B Matoh We Thope yot liked It |success has heen met through this |shoestion. Our low sots & mi of (you're deaf it you did) and we £0 Imode of operation than in any oth- | ,T'\,‘,‘m‘ L",",f 14 ":,.1:.“’ ,,Sfti :(;3::‘.,!. Imperial cunk er way of obtaining co on, to hear Billy hestra vish you could take a iR e :‘,’:‘((1[:’1:.‘*‘05"1:‘\ ,‘,f the pans b the _.‘,]:n’fvi;“]‘"; “”“l‘:;’;“zfl:";‘en.mrv!r(ion of the 6th grade, as a birds in this outfit—whooie, it's the zed proprictor of one house inmflmfll:m am'ount nf“ c'rluc:mun. but only thing here tonight) who will lyavig o bad reputation as regards Epeaif ‘X,‘:yq"?l’l ‘)othing herin play several selections beginning | 1o jiquor laws, the s ::{::««v‘:’;;\ .”x‘;x:“ prri\» nt a bn{nrdhor with (who wrote out thts DrOEFAM=—| guspended jail sentence of a man In | and nigh 1 Al Lt Jooks Iike love letters from & Chin-|.;oimer cake, and the binding over |gons» - ergcilicaticusigpanatiisas ese laundryman) Low I)f""“ to the superior court, of a husband uo“.o.” i lovatabwouldibe mlad Rt Shuffle” (now they will take rrn..‘\ Sl s e o iloyeraknou gla lho six minutes to a half hour to_ e el aexe theqechocla k) clasre_po 8 funed up ana won't make & very |5 ot T o that police mmlw B e (:;Parsfilnh rood job of it at that). Four more | ersonally approve of the o o | e e ar“;r;mhm e SO Rin mer who adapt themselves to gum |it The turnover of child laborers “This is station BZZV (you're a0 | g 0 wory yn this fleld awful bunny if you don’t know that i : is very high and they need constant S ihis time) and you have fust|!! B0guok ‘1.‘ itataito send an |gupervision. As one druggist said, heard Billy Gwunk's Imperial Or- [ 2ECRt” on the crrands. It is sig- | «Eyen when mixing syrup they must chestra, Tender (render means 1o | & oanb it len g e 0 have |pe watched” The employment e et “Low . Down Shumer |fhe opportunily of using a privale | manager of onelof our largest Cona (and we'll“admit that we've heard | £UZCT to make the purchase of Inecticut factories writes: “The ma< worse somewhere although we'd liquor for use in court, they work | jority of children are normal, not need about an hour to think where). | hammer and tongs to e w0 on (gosh, my tonsils aro |places as they pogsibl hack-firing) to hear (omigod) little the uscfulness of an “agent” s of | torjes would welcome this protecs Mo T imer stk (I hope it's |short duration. Once spotted in|tjon.” VERY few) nursery Mary | court, he is advertised throughout MARY C. WELLES has been loaned to us by her mo um row"” and after one prosecu- er for the evening and we are glad n in which he figures, his chances | Steam rallroads entering Chicago fouch) to present Miss Mary Tur- (Of further success are-several hun-|expended almost $15,000,000 last ner. (C'mere you brat and get this |dred thousand degr lower than {year jn maintenance of suburban et |hose of the proverbial snowball In «(Ow—L/1l never have the nerve |the warmest place ever referred to, | m e ——— to face the wife after that.) ~Thisis stationRZZVandyou have justlistened | Alderman D. L. Nair and Coun- {oMaryTurnersingsomenursery songs. {cilman D. L. Bartlett, two active (Gt T rush it fast enough I can get {members of the councilmanic bod Prolonged over it without choking). TIf youlof the city government, struck at| 1 like (Il bot they gag over that one) |the very heart of a bad condition at | Readlgg {he -program tonight we would be the mecting of the ordinance com- 1 S 1ad 1o forward all letters to the var- |mittee Thursday night, when they TihallE'l ious (gulp) entertainers. The next freferred to the lgek of inter es number_ will ¥ Solomon Levy who |shown by the builders and eleetrl- e y clans of the city in the ordinances S g |nffecting those important crafte. Don't overwork them, as nature U pay 2 day. R T'll s0Q |Yet, timely as Is the notice taken | will rebel if you do. Upon D B3 um.’ lof the passiveness of the members| — Glasses—If correctly made—caol, | (1t 1 ask you politely lof those trades, their remarks will| rest and invigorate the eyes. You never pay, by gum, all probability bear no frult, be-| yvo Have started hundreds of eyes You pay today, or I'll soak you |cause conditions were ever thus and | oo"fho” road to improvement .by Upon the beak, you bum!' ™) {ime does mot affect them in the | foenichine glasses that examination | Dnarles T L """’"““"\7’- A ; proved were badly needed. — Matters of Importance to groups v : Not His Ailment lof citizens, or to the city at large, Your E)!;:zx-égg: in the “Mandy, read whut it sez on dat|ore acted on night after night at 8 o { bottle.” City Hall and despite the widely If s0, We Can Help Them. | "wwell, 1t sez: . ‘One teaspoonful |published notices in advance, few ° for adults.' " [residgnts take the trouble of cx-| A P nk s | “Read some mo’, Mandy. Ah's got |pressing thelr views. They simply o 1 u de croup, not de adglts, |read of them in the newspapers and Eyesight, Specialist —T¥oward Ferguson |dismiss them from their minds and 1026 Reproduction |Ing in possession of all Forbidden) —THE OBSERVER— fire a sporting chance. ow do you expect to collect on y, sential to Intelligent debate and de- | 300 Main St. sion. The result is that when new ‘orrlm.njcvs become operative, flaws are found, some, It is true, being of | enly .small moment, but others are highly fmportant siderable and require con- manipulation and incon- venienc 333I232I2232832028288 and expense to rectify, ur nvictions yet {ment for leaving school and the but officially aid as many | can because defective or delinquent, and school |is the place for them. Most face Satisfaction Guaranteed the data es- % “Phone 576 1§¢