New Britain Herald Newspaper, April 10, 1926, Page 6

6 New Britain Herald HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY [wued Dally (Sunday Excepted) At Herald Bidg.. 61 Cburch Btreet BUBSCRIPTION RATES 4500 & Year $2.00 Three Months 760 » Month. Eutered at the Post Office at New Uritaln ®a fecond Clars Mall Matter, The only profitable advertising niedium in the City. Cirenlation booke and press room oiways open to edvertisers. Memrw- o1 the Assoeinted Press ¢ e exclusively en putiication of not otherwive eradited tn this pAper and also loca! news putiished heroin mber Andit urenn B Uiceulntion The A B C. tloral v/ gnniantion whic' turnishes newspajers and adver tieere with o etrictly honext wuaivels of | otrculation. Our culation statistics are based upon this audit, This insures protection a frand In newepaper distribution rer to both pational and loca) advertisers, nie dally In_ New !mu at_ Hotaling’s Newssta Tier uare; Bchultz's Newsstnnds, Entrance Ohne ‘central dtno Bireet The Herald te on PARTIES QUI The senior high ING action of THI h A Murray, r, inquit that 1 ting her both par par ngelyes to in low major then exert for this st ymptom o Women nd many o voters, to- " | tionment independent appears 1o more ars reforni. indifferc to the migh Leg t The nee of ture indepent be e nts changed if independents as well organiz se possesy- i of At the the rubb parties. this time, lov r. this is not case to an appreciable extent, Politicians are pacify the voters on the ; first come nd tene pa workers, Tt Mies and ind anc Mury consolidats body of the bal- y can ene a suflicient pendents to threaten 1he the of power among parti scheme A elections or d would ring ssful, the be highly minority which ¢ tu at ceives carefnl But it M mere) failed particular an an election nearly always re- consideratio Murray point ed ixlature has 1o her own reform is not upon as strong ground if she spon- sored an independent movement apart from personal reform disap- pointments COOLIDGE, Aiffor THE The League Court consideration of Natio: has necelved Pres of s following statement who made the it: 1 political about The the zue of Nations affect of ofther na- 1 Virs tons, rselves. The W Court affects international which affects terested AlL 11 merely "0; to to but not o1 us, hence we is may it 13 merely iewpoint given dhe ad- fustify Americ nor the Leagus and attempted herence, with World Court always be nec sy ssary time responsibility WARD FIFTH A deal PUSSY FPOOT JOHNSON rned immediately agaln, in order g were | nxlous to tide | PROGRISS | TILSON A RE-APPORTIONMED John Q. Tilson of mafority leader in the | 4 himselt as | contityglonal | T Representative Connecticut, House, sccms 10 reg something of & lawyer. As the Houso defeated re. | ais- census of | apportioning of congressional line with the arose to declare in the to in he ng mandatory with tricts 1920, there was not Constitu- | | tlon reapportions ment; in other word that the | House could reapportion or not, |1t saw n0t, News writers, however, not it. In Ho axe Hon the ndent, the are certain about they have to grin \ction the in tho | 1 “voted 1o Imitted opinion of nders,” | wr | hold erfor o8 one corresy House on in the 1ys that th 0 su- Con- | rules f to that provi | # censy held ned may shall and | {hat portic very ten years all be several states | wled their tyes ap- among the h b within this Union, accord respucs | numt tive 8. plain intent of the Constitu- | The tlon is that re-apportionment shail | nsus. This pre- | followed | follow every new been the to have lent has einee when question was sup- | Dose been settled after a discussion and study that more thorough than R any g which | sentative Tilson ve to the The Congress that want re-appor- facts of the docs not matter are at this time, irrespective of what the Constitution demands. | What s important, the mandates of the Constitution or the more whims of Congre = | TELLING THE COUNTRY | Th week has seen the | atements be- Senate judiclary commit- arding how the prohibition | is not working. Next week we to hiear from the prohibition- | s how it is doing as well as can | Then the committee | the conflicting and attempt to come to What cpends altogether present regaled with s 1he nation for i aw pected. will fabulate evi- | dence some this wil upon its constituent of conclusion. W L be 1 personal hellefs of | members, and Prohibition anti-prohibition ! are species of personal bellef that the grip of re They up polities and there have glon, 2 ound with is a plenitude of politics continual- Iy played in the Senate. Tt takes a superlative optimist to expect any- | different to over the well stage- all. Tn pseudo- | the of That | thing effectually Sena L Tt ds a but arise | | loving | that is only are out of the o fuss prohibition la ! managed show, that {s order to get away from prohibition, such as we enjoy, will have to clect more sort into 1 be better by than giving reams of evidence regarding the cctual law; but it is decldedly more difficult. Congress. ATERS" The cake-cater,” is one | signifying nothing. Athletes plenty of it hecanse of its nourlsh- | eplthet, eat { | ment. It anacmic and fashionably | dressed young men ‘eat it this must > beeause Our chang cy want to get strong. diet have in fow y when we can figure nour- |ishment on the ‘ting Auring a former day would {deas about ®in the past In a calory plan, heen meaningless has become | v commonplace. PERMANENT PROSPERITY M. Schwab s an arding and opti- the v, he yme to stay. He doesn't e prosperity outlook. Prosper likes to helieve it is his firm con- that an opinion Most of us will agree alified to have iile on such a topic. American . people, he says, at work producing wealth Which power, purchasing new new opportunitics for ex- and production. gives a dozen or so other 1y prosperity will remain the quintessence of SRAPT m like tis1 yoar. two or art with milk supply more dishearten- | staff of life adul- of and to injury done to the m connivance that hun- llars were | hown such under and w convie esn’t scem to be over ' home In Noroton ally lacks clutter up ¢ boy boo! he Center. | dropped 10 storfes |an attempt | Dircety | the | dia | court. ditional se | back | tion is exacting. decades. | means sav- | three | h here NEW BRITAIN DAILY HERALD, SATURDAY, APRIL 10, 1926. DROPPING 10 STORIE HUMAN BRAVERY Hotel fires lar affalrs in which the attempt to | usually are speetacu- human not always entirely successtul, incident in Chicago, save Nfe fs uppermost and The | where a man | after hanging to a ledge for five mimates, unique In that the onl' Poom gut- ted fire the bullding that the man, who apparently to reach the door and had to make through wils by in was occupled by unfortunate | was unuble | to gain safety :v\:'v window ledg Brave men arc found everywhere, | him in | ittempting to form a human lad- upon 15th ledge, risked the fate befell | 10th, beneath strangers der the story that the him same unfortunate man on before, nd than never met hig no They had to the °n the alarm went not know name, them ho hell boy and was more But wh there was need being did same forth to ma A human from a horrible death, they hes| the prevent it Such art not fate in ori examples of bravery are and parcel of the freighting the newspapers day. Just high school girl plunged into the river to rescue a child — and suc- ceeded. About the | wires told the story of a telegraph | news | nearly the other day a | in Massachusetts | | fey waters of u‘ every the same time i operator who stuck to her post as the building burned. Brave common And so on. | acte in an emergency arc | they history of the human race, The accepted opinion in cyni- | cal circles that mankind be- comes softer and more with luxury and ease that its pris- | tine ‘ has been exploded o often that one as today as ever were in the as enamored dare-devil bravery vanishe | 1s forced to wonder why intelligent people can continue to maintain | the thesis. | In the last 20 years hundreds of visked thelr lives to | the | avlators have further the sclence; and dozens have glven up their hold upon doing. ‘w At the present moment colonies of | advancement of life in so men are endeavoring to wrest ad- rets from the privation the grim Arctic re- glons, amid intense themselves and with | reaper hovering around them as a constant companion. But has one ever heard of one of these turning a Men | rather dodge cason ? than for such clamor to go, such opportunities, We have an easy-zoing, civiliza perhaps; the surfa T luxury- | but Men | to fon, on their lives risking daily make our luxury possible. Violent deaths are by no mcans uncom- | will It is upon (Iw surface that we appear to be soft. As a matter of fact, true; sometimes too hard- | cned to the prospeets and the pos- sibilities of this machine age, and do not take seriously enough the great loss of life our civiliza- as every testify. only the reverse is | we are we MERGER announcement PROTITS the Van reached | The Sweringen brothers hi with stockholders of the the minority | Che & Ohio railroad evidently means that i | another step will he taken to forvn‘ | the merger along tlines laid do\\n; [ by thdinterstate Commerce Com- | mission. It is a victory for the | minority holders, but the merger | ‘WIH also bo | an agreement \peake victorious. At the same time the minority | ltvtw'l\ho.-lmi of the Detroit, Toledo | and Ironton, representing two per }(‘vnt of tho stock, lost their fight | against merging with Henry Férd's | | | railroad system. It seoms that the | ‘mn or magnate for five years had | ! been to get the stockholders to consent to the mr‘rv{ ger, an offer of $102 for | | thetr Before Ford started Fordizing the rallroad the same stock was selling at $1 the price Ford pald for 98 trying minority | 1king share at one time. | a share, | per cent of the stock. | judge the minority | Toledo | | ana 1ronton suffer great fi- lls the merger. They merely wallow in disappoint- ment over not ing a flrL'\Arr | profit than the difference between and $102. From this we stockholders of the Detroit, won't nanclal to m: willing to pay $25 a seat perform publicity Spanish actress sounds like the kind D. W Griffith used to spring about charg- ing $10 tickets to shows. of a seat for movie that a that noticed pe cellar It perhaps was gentleman notlfied boys broke into epilled his supply of wine. the 3 his and useful to man, But they the Some are files | sayn the Smithsonian | ook and alike a nose. all feel at end of In state where senators are strate every being elected the attempted gy of the campaign scems to Calvin Coolidge the issue T were Cars wrecked on the pike. The in time to prevent the smash, arrests not | niblick fs, | less there is company. fo | { covered, | that the blaze w | torney, | commi The report that New Yorkersare | to sce a | FactsendFancies | | BY ROBERT Ql ILLEN Nobody loves the fat," Uncle Sam's purse, slghed You can't start a revolution In a land where everybody knows what a What did people blame unpopularity before vented? for their halitosis was in- | It would be even more thrilling to | sce n man In a glass cage getting | along 44 days without cigarcttes, | You don't really need medicine to thin your blood in spring. Just thin | your diet, Contentment fs that plactd foeling you have If you don't look at the uds, in the magazines, | | poor Send all communications to Fun Shop Editor, care of the New Britain Herald, and sour leter Il be forwarded to New York Coats Off, Folks! April days bring back again th good old times and soenes lln.\s when we dug for fish-balt and dandelion greens; | Well, when it comes to digging, it's needed still today, *t's dig up mirth and humor and keep this old world gay! 1 Improving It Jenkens:"Say, 1 gave you $5 yes- terday towards a new roof for the house. Where I8 this poor | house?" i In a village, hardly anything is lit | up after 10 o'clock e pt the son of the local millionaire, You never saw a fat and prosper- ous people risking much for its “in- alienable” rights. The raln no longer falls equally | on the just and unjust. The unjust | seldom care for picnics. “America has the most tractors.” But this probably includes tractors and detractors. ex- | ‘The middle class is the one that forgets to use the butter knife un- | No people is ready for freedom | until it is ready to die in order that the next generation may have i, Fable: Once a woman got disgust- ed with unsatisfactory maids and | forever thereafter did the work her- self. A true lightly meter, port is one who can chat while watching the t The wages of sin now depend somewhat on how much the con- | fession magazines are paying. “No law is stronger than is the public sentiment where it is to be enforced.” Some disgruntled wet? No; Lincoln said it. Even the hard-boiled should charitable. A dollar invested charity gives you four worth of complacency. Alas! the ancestors people are proud of would cause much shame if they should reappear, unbathed, ignorant, full of vulgar words. be in | dollars’ Correct this sentence marricd five vears, I still fix up to around the house.” . | ¢Protected by Publishers hers Syndicate) | 125 Years Ago Today A fire of questionable origin broke out in the blacking kiln at the Mal- leable Iron Works last night and did $£300 damage. The bullding s a | wooden one and stands close to Grove street. An employe visited the | place shortly before fire was dis- and he noticed nothing suspicious at the time, It is thought s set. The Maine street asphalt blocks, taken up last sumnier to allow the digging of the subway, will probably | not be relaid this year, sewerage improvements must be made. | The Democratic members of the common council held a caucus last night and chose the followng candi- | (hwa for off Corporation coun- 1, John Walsh; prosccuting at- B. F. Gaftney; assistant prosecuting attorney, J. T. Meskill; | eity surveyor, W. H. Cadwell; police | commissioner, H. Brady: fire com- missioner, J. M. Curtin; subway commissioner, John F. Ctorey; sewer commissioner, H. Beach; water ioner, P. . commissioner, James H |of weights and measures, Dennis O'Keefe; chairman of health com- mittee, Dr. Bunnell. A son has been born to Mr. and Mrs. Fred Letham. The East 8ide Whist club was en- tertained last evenir - at the home of Councilman-Elect Heoward M. Steele on Cnestnut street. Prizes were won by R. N. Bancroft, H. C Gussman, W. all, Mrs. C. B. Andrew ancroft and Mrs., £ W. . Sternberg 1 plano selections. pool team, J. Rooney, “We've heen | said she, “and look my hest played sever The Plainville posed of L. Cramer | Smith, Thomas Ca Keene, defeated Bristol | four matches to one Mayor Bassett sprang a new trick | at the council mecting Y | evening. Councilman O'Brien moved | | to reconsider a motion n by Mr. Curtis. The mayor is a supporter of consolidation and naturally did not want to sce the matter get another black eye by permitting Mr. Curtis’ motion to pa. Accord when the vote stood nine to eight for the motion, the mayor voted as a mem- ber of the council and made it a tie, then cast a vote as presiding officer, | voting a second time and defeated | the motion | Henry Brown, the garbage col- immr, has become a prosperous colored gentleman and is considering | running for senator. His present | qualifications are a plug hat, a hand. | ful of money, and a generous dispo- sitton. “If T can’t land the nomina- tion for senator with that,” he says, “I may get garbage collector.” Republic in Greenland Long Ago | Norsemen, in discovering and ex- ! z Greenland nearly a thousand ago established a form of re- | traces of which Remains 1000 A. D. e Fald of the hem- com- | Jack 1 | ars publie in that land may still be four churches bullt been found be the first white race in the isphere. of about and these 1 trace western ha ave Te | there. | “I'd like | hours Collins: “Right across the street, 1 own it, and T'll leave it to you 1if it isn't the poorest house on the block.” JUSTIFIABLE AUNT-ICIDE By Arthur L. Lippmann clusion {run again, that the ed |eff the campalgn. The w lies when ley were opposed to cach other, With | public interest has | IIIIEEIEIetTIstLs et e Lttt teeLs: —THE 0B it f2ttsiithantdtinisidtets SERVER— On the City and Its People Makes Random Observations Next Tuesday will mark the con- of the dullest mayoralty campalgn which has been waged in New Britain in many years with the outcome in doubt, From its beginning, it has been mild, compared with the campaigns of 1024 and 1622 when the drives for votes were vigorously wnd the air was charged with politi- |cal electricity, So much uncertainty existed about |the republic. n .choice for candidate |this year and the hesitancy of the mayor to announce that he would was tuken rmest flare- up came with the republigan primar- Mr. Weld and Mr. Quig- that exception {not been high. |« 8o far N [Weld have been indulging In shadow |Ings. lelean campaign, | slinging. ayor Paonessa and Mr. boxing. It appears that they are fearful of hurting each other's feel Both promised it wounld be a devold of mud- | It has been so clean that it has been immaculate. The oppos- We traveled and toured and at|ing candidates have pecked gently at length we secured In hamlets, forgotten afar, |each other and old time fireworks have been missing. Thus far the sole | Some priceless old tables in tav- tww has been what happened dur- erns and stables, And other rare d'art, objects Then iInto our home came my aunt | | |been done underncath the surface. The democratic and republican or- | from Duluth, Addicted to frankness and telling the truth, Who said, “Ain’t it strange, but my grand-daughter, Ruth, Serves tea on a table llke that! Your chairs are like lives in Mobile; Your beds are like I"annie's; rugs like chenille Remind me of Danny's, and cousin | Cecile, She, at." Annle's—she your Our pride had been in petulant pique We sold all we'd sought; And standardized staples in nuts and maples We listlessly looked at and bought. punctured; wal- Then back to our home came my aunt from Duluth, As tactles couth, Who looked our said, “Why my Ruth Sleeps in the same kind of a bed. chairs are like Tillle's—she lives in Fort Wayne; Your rugs are like Willie's in Augus- | ta, Maine; 's like Millie's, “hl]L Aunt | things over and Your e, LLLY 1 SHOT I{En DEAD! Clever Cook! Mrs. Bailey: “I hear your husband | gave you an eighty-plece dinner set for your birthday.” Mrs. Barton: “Yes, but the cook ‘was careless with it, and now it's a thousand-plece set.” —Alan Blum. Some women are of an uncertain age, while most of them are never certain of it at all! Mean Trick! I know a lttle girl who prayed nightly for a baby sister. The prayer | was answered, and the much-longed for baby sister grew into a mischiev- ous little imp .who scattered toys and wrecked play houses ruthless- Iy! In due course of time, still an- other haby sister joined the family. and when the prayful little girl was shown the newest arrival, she sai to know who prayed for this one. I knew I didn’t.” —G. B. F. WONDER F \T CLIMBD TREES! Sink or Swim! Robbins was stuck at a little cross- roads junction with a train two late. He went into the one ating place in the village for lunch. “Whata y' want?” the waitress asked him as he sat down on the high stool. “Let me sce vour bill of fare,* Robhins requested. “Ain't none,” she informed him. Whata y* want?" “Well, what have you?" Robbins d. “Beef or pork, the girl rattled off. all gone an' th' Yy want?” a coffee or milk,” “But the pork's milk's sour. Whata —J. W. Ridings. IN KLASS AT KRAZY KOLLEGE (Conducted by Gertrude) Teacher “Miss Didd will now strike a low bow and a high C with ‘annul’ and ‘infamy.’ " Katy Didd When I took his rweetheart away He was angry as could be, as ever and just ag un- | hwf the coal shortage and, because | |0t contradictory statements, the public is not certain what the real situation was. The greater part of the work has sanizations are combing the city for (votes, leaving it for the candidates I to appear in public and lend color | [to the drive. The party which has the best organization next Tuesday 'stands a splendid chance of winning. | | | | | | | | lor twice, jof the world docs Acording to information cabled from. Nice, France, “Susanne Leng- |len has tentatively acec pted an of- fer to go 10 1he United States next [ Octone appear in a motion pic- too,/han )\ Japaneks [ o Lo appens lnta & LB ture film based on her novel." We have heard of Lenglen once It scems, it* memory serves, that sh. is the champion e s (reasures | OMAN tennis player of the world. © In that role she has managed to ob- tain a fair amount of publicity, particularly when she defeated an American aspirant for her crown. The public heretofore has not shar- e¢d in the knowledge that she wa {also a writer. Nor did it know she was an actress. This brings up the thought that | » American public, theaters to see people act, sometimes does not get what it pays for. It would be very interesting to see Lenglen in action but when the pub- licity hounds ask us to believe that | the plot will be ed on her own |novel they are straining our credulity | to the breaking point. The story will be whipped ‘ogether by some profes- ional gcenario writer and when it | |is completed §t will be far diff erent | |than Lengle: ‘s novel, it she has r\'»r written one, Why is it that when a citizen something un- usual, he or she {8 immediately signed for motion pictures or rush- ed into some department of the theater, The Countess recently achieved notoriety through her disbarment from States as an undesirable alien. Soon {atter her admission to this country. Ishe threw a company of actors to- gether to appear in a play based on her book. The play was a failure and | Annul my friends they warned mci that He had it infamy —Mary Van Ness. KRAZY KINDERGARTEN (Conducted by Gertrude, Jr. Teetcher: J ‘Maltreat’ off of you, Stanley.” Stan Strate: “My mother w: and forty, ) a hunderd pounds ‘Though last munth twas a hundered | fifty-cight, And T ask in all my prayers for more reductions, Bechuse maltreat each loses wate!” —Clifton Evermann. (Copyright, 1926. Reproduction Forbidden) time she / GETS INTO CHAIR LOOKS T SEE HOW LONG HE'LL HAVE TO WAIT prosecuted |y which attends | of Cathcart | the United | FROM VACANT CHAIR FINDS IT'S AN EDIMION (the countess departed for ‘.n appointed woman, home, a The appearance of the Countess is | {not an lsolated incident, One Jawn Dempsey, who says he Is champion heavywelght fighter of the world but hesitatos to prove it passes the time |between “fights” by appearing in audeville theaters, Benny Leonard, former Ughtweight boxing champlon, ‘umlwl across the footlights and also {made a motion pleture, Tt seems |that one must beeome famous in {some other field of endeavor In or der to gain a high place in vaude |ville or the motion pleture field That fame achieved, it is unnoun |that you will appear as an enter- tainer in a sketch or play or scenario based on your “book.” As if ability [tn one line gave everybody the in- \spiration or talent for writing a | hook. | It Jawn Dempsey had not hatter- d his way to glory with his knuck) [he would probably find it impossible | to get a hearing in a theatrical {booking office. The same aplics to Benny Leonard. If the Countess of |Catheart had not had her little af- Ifair with Lord Red Raven Splits, or whatever his name is, she pro- bably couldn't have gotten a job as a chorus girl. Tf Susanne Leng- [1en had not climbed to the pinnacle {of fame through her ability as a [tennis racquet wielder she would have worn out her shoes going from | publisher to publisher in a vain ef- |fort to get her “book” into print. | But, having attained a high place in |the sports world, her “book” is in demand for a motion pleture play. | Times have changed. One used to |have a cigar named after one when one became famous. Now one is handed a fat contract for a vaude- “\wlle or movie engagement. Sitting in a roomy and comfortable chair and smoking his favorite pipe, one of our venerable nejghbors who | has reached the respectable age of ' 30, discoursed on the world in gen- | eral. made an impression which we | quickly jotted down in our mental | memo book. “The weather scems to exert an | influence on the thoughts and lives lof all of us” he remarked. “It amuses me to note the different re- actions it has on different people. My daughter-in-law has been com-) | plaining about the rain because this [is her week to entertain the bridge club but T know the farmers are | thankful for it because their soil will | be tmproved. And it seems to be that good sofl is of greater import- |anco than good echeer at a bridge party. My son has been growling at | the rain hecause he wants to play | golf. Everybody seemus affected by | | the rain and most of them in an un- | pleasant way although we must all | realize that rain is essential. “The reason I dislike rain is be- | cause I miss the children playing {around outdoors. Yes sir, 1 love to | watch the children at their play. | There's a crowd of little tots— | mostly girls—who scoot around here | on roller skates like butterflles. T love to hear their shrill cries of joy |and T suffer with them when the: fall down and bump their heads. Then there are the boys on the new 'l\IC\(’INI cutting figure eights and ‘nnjn\hu: those golden days of youth | | which come to us only once. Even th | noisy crowd down at the corner play. | ing marble or migs as they call |them now, amuses me because they're all so earnest about it. * “One of our neighbors insists on | | chasing the children away. He's a | first class grouch. In spite of my hty years, I'm going out with my | | hickory some fine day when I get my | dander up and I'm going to tell him | what I think of him and his kind. Yes sir, T love children and when it | rains I'm lonesome because all the voungsters in the neighborhood stay | indoors.” Being In a pessimistic mood one morning recently, the Observer pre- | pared to make a list of people he does not like. They include: | The guy who, when he borrows a | fountain pen, screws on the cap so | | tight it takes a Stilson wrench to re- | move it. SNAPSHOTS OF A MAN WAITING FOR A SHINE \ N PICRS UP NEWSPAPER ON THE WALL HE'S ALREADY READ GUESSES HE'LL WILL TIME WITH A SMOKE A MAT(K 7 e DECIDES THERE MAY BE SOMETHING IN THAT PA- TINDS HE HASN'T 6OT PER HE HRSN'T READ TINDS MAN IN NEXT CHAIR HAS TAKEN IT MENT had a leading role In a cast which | His remarks upon the weather | READS ADVERTISEMENTS LISTENS TO RAPID TIRE DECIDES HE CANY WAIT ANV LONGER IF HE'S TO BE ON TIME TOR APPOINT- The pest who wants to talk to m.« whwa [‘'m too husy to listen, nelther do 1 1ike the old erab who Is too busy | to listen when I have pet story |1 | want to tell, | I have no regard for the sonse of {humor of the fellow who can't seq | tho joke at his own expenso when T |work off some of my sarcasm; noither do 1 liks the fresh bird whio tries to get funny at my expense, T think the fellow who agrees with me in poljgies ought to be vice- president (under me), but the fellow Who votes the opposite ticket 1 think I8 the biggest rogue unhung. I like to #ee what the other fels low I8 writing, but if the fellow who is looking over my shoulder reading this doesn't go away, IMn going to chew garlic, T belleve if the village had scveral first class funerals which are sadly needed there would be more room for g00d men ke myselt. 1 think these funerals should be of those narrow cecontriec nuts who don't know cnough to agree with me, . Here is another original idea for making money. The Observer is just full of these schemes and falrly ex- |udes them, making no charge for any {of his brilliant plans. He is also {willing to answer questions concern- (Ing gainful occupations ranging all [the way from the tanning of whale's Nhides to the remodelling of broken |toy balloons; However, we startegd lout to tell of our new scheme, 8o |let's go. Start a magazine. “What!" y |say. “With so many maga the fleld you tell us to venture upon another?” Just so. If there are ao {many now one more can't crowd |the field much further. And it could {not be worse than some of those al- {ready on tha newsstands. The tendeney in pertodicals today |scems to be toward concentration. |toward card-indexing. If you want |to find a story concerning the grept west where men once were men, you can find. any number of magazines |devoted to storles of just that type. The same applies if you prefer tales [of mystery, of Africa, of love, gf sport, of crime, of the stage, apd the movies, or of the sea. 8o, of course, you must fall into line and find some hranch of adventure ¢f romance which is not fully covered as yet. We might suggest a monthly entiti- “Divorce Sfories.” In fact, we {will suggest it Or “Bricklaving |Storles.” Or perhaps “Tales of Con- {stantinople.”” “Newspaper Rtories™ |chould go well, and *“Marksman<hip {Stories” should make a hit. How |about “Apartment House Yarns”? Or even “Vamping Tales”? If you act now you may be able to get in on |the ground floor with a short, sn: [py title like the ahove, hut'if you procrastinate the fleld will hecema more and more specialized and yon may be forced to conlent yourself with such a narrow range ‘as sug- {mested by the title, “Stories of Way- | ward Sons Who Went to the City {and Became Criminals hut Wer ed by the Tender Affections of Tluna- {Eved Mission Workers from Osh- Kosh." ! Or, to advance holdly in the op- Iposite direetion from that in which [publishers are now moving, why not issue A Weekly with a blank cover and make the public buy it to find jout what was n it? led | Reglstered auctioneers of Fngz- land are waging a war rinst fake auctions where the auctioneers and bogus bidders force up prices and | unload spurious goods on victims Observation On The Weather Tastern New York and Southern New England: Fair Saturday; Sun- day rain, not much change in {em- perature. | Northern New England: Fair Sat- [nrday; Sunday cloudy, probably fol- {lowed by rain; not much change in teniperature. The disturbance that was over the Aflantic states Thursday night has |advanced to New TFoundland and the |southwestern disturbance has moved |slowly to the lower Rio Grande val- ley. | An area of high pressure extends {from the Central Rocky Mountain [region eastward to the lower Lake reglon and the Middle Atlantic coast. | The temperature will not change |matcrinll)’ during the next two day By GLUYAS wu.uAMs LUYR \:erAr‘:'zs i ITALIAN- CHATTER BE - TWEEN BOOTBLACKS WONDERS HOW THEY'RE ABLE TO TALK $0 FAST TEELS TOOT GRASPED FIRMLY AND KNOWS IT'S USELESS TO ARGUE THAT HE CANT WAIT L