New Britain Herald Newspaper, August 7, 1923, Page 2

"HUNTING BIG GAME Purposely Made for 'oodwork and Furniture It is often noticeable in other- wise well ordered homes that the furniture and woodwork are a jumble of different fin- ishes. The use of Lucas Per- fect Varnish Stain will overcome this lack of har- mony. Itis astain and var- nishfor interior woodwork and furniture which will freshen and beautify your home. Lacas Perfect Varnish Stain wears well, looks fine and costs little. In eight nas tural wood colors, s 1 Dickenson Drug Co. 169-171 MAIN. STREET For Value, Style and Quality these Haberdashery Specials cannot be equalled—buy them while they last Our Entire Stock of $1.00 § Fancy Neckwear. Special—75c § 25 Dozen Silk Neckwear, reg- ularly $1.50 and $2—$1.00. $3.00 Italian Grenadine Neck- wear. Special—$1.95. $2.50 Irish Poplin Neckwear, Special—$1.95. Men’s 1-Piece Bathing Suits. $6 grade—8$4.35; $5.50 grade— $3.95; $7.00 grade—$5.35. HORSFALLS| 93-99 \dsylum Strect Hartford. “It Pays to Buy Our Kind” CITY ITEMS. The annual bazaar of St. Andrews Lithuanian church will be held from Committees are making plans for one of the biggest September 14 to 22 affairs in the history of the parish. Blue Hoosier Blues, Columbia Record. & Co.—advt. Supervisor John J. O’Brien of St. that Mary's playground announces plans are being made for a big ob- servance of Labor Day. new fox trot, John A. Andrews He intends “WITHOUT WEAPONS “Hank Long” Tells How to Do It in Case Yon Want to Know CONTRIBUTED 1t was only after being chloroform- ed that I was induced by my press agent to tell the following story as to how to bag big game. In these disclosures, I am aware I shall excite jealousies as well as the spleen of hunters of big game. This is to be expected. But I feel that it is a duty I owe the public, as well as myself. Nor will this story be of any advan- tage whatever—rather the reverse— to those who sell firearms, shells and powder, for I use none of these cruel things in my hunting. No I scorn powder and—shall I say—shell? I use nothing but what nature started me out with, viz. my hands—naked hands. In other words, I strangle all my big game. When I remonstrated with my agent about telling this story, I was con- sciolis of my depleted pocketbook and as my vacation time was drawing near I allowed him in a moment of weak- ness to bind me and administer a large glass of what he called whiskey. T now find after regaining conscious- ness and viewing this story, that it must have been something else he gave me. I have discharged my agent. Not a Gifted Liar At first sight, there may be those of my readers—including the editor— who will think I'm a gifted liar. 1 am not a gifted liar. On the con- trary nothing has ever been given me. T've always worked hard for what I have. In other words, it has taken me a long time to work out a system of lies, so that in after years they would not, nor could they rise up and trip one another or the author up. When I speak of lies, of course I mean real good, healthy lies. I mean lies that are so strong that they are able to stand on their own feet. Lies that will not whine or bite or kick while somebody is washing their face, and combing their hair. But to return to the subject, “Big Game Hunting With the Naked of, Nude Hands.” About the first thing I could re- member, using my hands. I ate out of, or with my hands long before I began the useless use of knife, fork or spoon. My success as a bare hand hunter I have often thought is due to this early training. I remember when quite young—6 mos.—of strang- .ing, or trying to strangle my big toe. When 9 mos. of age I strangled a kitten. At a year old I put a tull grown cat out of business. At twenty- five I married and within a year had strangled my wife, I am now nearly strangled myself, because of the Eighteenth Amendment, Courage? Pshaw ! At first one would think that it takes a great deal of courage to stand §(up for the first time, before a full 3 |grown lion or tiger with unmanicured finger nails three or four inches long. It does. But it must be recollected that no man who has a particle of # | sense will do this. It would be the height of folly. No, one must first procure a docile lion, tiger or bob cat. Perhaps a friend has one, you could borrow. If so, take it home, and practice with that. Or, an elephant. Of course if you live in the city, and occupy a flat, this is hardly feasible— better hire a barn in the country, or the Hippodrome ‘when it's not in use. I know of no more exhilerating enjoyment, than to covet some royal Bengal's cuticle for ones den, and then with notMing but a snack or crackers and cheese and ones two tare handsito go into the cool verdi- gris like jungle in quest of ones Gguery. Harken to the entranecing chatter of the monkey! List to the charming hiss of the boa! Give ear to the roar of lion, trumpeting of clephant and wild unearthly yell or hyena! How delightfully cool it is because of the chill creeping up ones spine. Ah, here comes a gorilla—no, two of them—man and wife. What beauti- ful yellow teeth they have, remind- one so mueh of the big meerschaum pipe one has left at home in ones hurry to be away to the jungle! How we miss it now, for there is quite NEW ‘BRITAIN DAILY HERALD, TUESDAY, was no larger than a 'good sized smoke house. He started for me instantly. I raised my hand much as a traffic cop does. The gorilla seemed to have about as much common sense #s the average automobilist, for he kept coming right on. When within to extend his paw for a handshake, T nimbly sprang to one side and was up his back hand over hand, by means of his long hair, and in a mo- ment my long, silken fingers—yes, and my two thumbs also—were around his neck. It took omly about two hours to shut off his breath. He fell with a thud. The trees shook. I shook. In fact, so mighty was the impact of his body, that cocoanuts were show- ered around us. After drinking the milk of two of these cocoanuts, I lit a cigarette, and alone and unaided I tied by suspenders around the mon- ster's neck. Calling my gun bearer I sat down on the gorilla’s side. I thought what a nice divan or lounge he would make and had made up my mind to take the fellow home with me intact, but then I remembered it was August, and knew that this was not the time of year most conducive to the keeping of two ton gorilla. I tried to make arrangements with the steward of the vessel to store Mr. G. in the ice box, but he told me it wasn’t big enough. I made Fngland with my stuffed gorilla, and the queen—Victoria—to whom I'd wired, requested me to bring my stuffed gorilla to Windsor, I did so. I stayed with my stuffed gorilla a week at the castle where I was stuffed with everything a queen's table is supplier with. I am never so happy as when I'm stuffing. This is why I'm so happy now in trying to stuff you with these facts. I sincerely hope the editor will think the same way. ‘Yours Cordlally, HANK LONG. PERSONALS Miss Anna Kiniry has resumed her duties in the office of Probate Judge B. F. Gaffney after a two weeks' va- cation, Miss Eleanor Perry of the asses- sor's office at City Hall has returned to her duties after two weeks' vaca- ton. Mr. and Mrs. F. G. Vibberts who have been spending the month of July at Oak Bluffs, Mass, have returned home. Miss Lydia A. Litke left last Sat- urday for Boston. She will “visit triends in Everett and Melrose, Mass,, and will be the guest of her aunt, Mrs. Edgar Sanders, formerly Miss Barbara Hahn, of New Britain. Miss Fannie Holmes of Hart street, gecretary to Principle Slade of the Senior High school, will leave Tuesday for Gettysburg to spend 10 days with friends. Miss Harriet Lyman of the John A. Andrews Co., is spending her vacation at Old Orchard, Me. Emil Larson of' the same firm is also on his annual vacation. Fred Riley of Harrison street and Joseph Donlan of North streét are spending a week at Silver Beach, Mil- ford Mrs. E. W. Schultz and daughter Mary, and Miss. May Booth, are at Deer Isle, Me., for a week's vacation. Mrs. Edward Weigand of Wallace street, has as her guést Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Richards of Winsted. John M. O’'Brien of Stanley street has resumed his duties at foreman of the street department after a week's absence due to injuries he received when a trolley car on which he wasa passenger, was struck by a Sells-Floto circus wagon. a foot of me, and just as he was about, DIPLOMATS ABROAD ENTERTAIN HINGS Foreign Ambassadors Spend Much Money for Social Functions European courts has not decreased noticeably since the war, according to reports of American diplomats to the state department. American ambassa- dors are continuing their complaints of inadequate salaries to meet the heavy drain of social entertainment, and are citing post-war troubles of entertaining royalty at functions which equal or surpass the gilded af- fairs of pre-war days in Europe. 5 For instance, the state dinner given recently by George Harvey, American ambassador to the Court of 8t James, to the British royal family set back the American envoy something over $8,000—for one dinner and trim- ings. In fact, the trimmings con- stituted a large part of the bil, which contained an item of $750 alone for palms and ferns given standing room in the fireplaces of the Ameri- can embassy for the occasion. Tradesmen holding the royal favor have to be reckoned with in the en- tertainment provided by American diplomats. The caterers are virtually chosen for the American entertainer by the lord chamberlain of the royal 'palace, no unknown or plebeian chiefs being permitted to cook for or serve the king or queen. Decorators, flor- ists and a train of other tradesmen having the royal approval also must be selected by the American host and their word, as well as their bills, go a long way in directing the function. Entertainment occasionally of the rulers of the nations to which they are accredited is an inescapable duty of American diplomats, who are pro- vided with no entertainment fund to cover the costs of food and service. A 127 Main 5t. Opp. AT35¢74 AT 15c P ere up to 9 and 9%; ‘Washington, Aug. 7.—~The pomp of few are wealthy enough to bear ex- traordinary expenditures for social entertainment, but the poorer ones say that the war has not toned down the “class” of the required social duties. The higher standing abroad of the American dollar is said to help some in, bearing the expense, but in many cases local tradesmen add to thelr bills, in the cases of the “rich Ameri. can” diplomats, more than sufficient to meet the difference in the rate of exchange. KLAN MEETINGS WIDE OPEN New Britain Girl Sees Signs Polnting Way to Flaming Cross on Highway and Passes Enights in The unusual experience of driving along a main highway in full view of a Ku Kilux Klan initfation, flaming cross, hoods, gowns, etc., was oné of the incidents of the vacation trip which Miss Marjorie Senf of the school department has just completed. Miss Sent spent two weeks in Youngs- town, Ohlo, and while out driving one night after dark went by a place where the hooded *knights of the in- visible empire were receiving their in- structions, ete. She did not stop, she says, the scene was so wierd it fright- ensd her. Ku Klux Klan meetings are wide open in Ohio, according to Miss Benf, who says the highway was marked with signs reading, “This way to the Ku Klux Kilan meeting.” Ehe says newspaper reporters ‘‘covered” all Meetings and names and addresses of speakers as well as their speeches are published, although names of mem- bers ars never printed. At the meet- ing she saw many of the men were not masked or disguised in any man- ner. ENLISTMENTS IN ARMY. The following enlistments have been recorded at the local recruiting sta- tion: Joseph D. Bielawa of ‘Berlin en- listed for the infantry and will be sent to the 9th corps. area in Cali- fornia. Carter Fredericks of Broad street enlisted for the infantry and will be sent to the 9th corp, area in California. RENIER, PICKHARDT & DUNN Tel. 1409-2 Arch St. Wednesday Morning AT 2 2 —SUMMER DRESSES up to $4.50 AT $ . 5—SUMMER DRESSES up to $6.98 $3.98 AT 9 —SUMMER DRESSES up to $10.98 AT %g :l g—PONGEE OVERBLOUSES, were $3.75 AT —Small Lot of WAISTS, avere $2.00. 79c¢ AT —Small Lot of RATINE OVERBLOUSES $1.29 AT Per Yard—WHITE VEILING, was 50c¢ 10c il 'w NECKLACES and PEGGY BEADS, T5¢ 0dd Sizes in Children’s SOCKS, were AT Oddz T andf 51“0IcBRE SILK HOSE, sizes —0dd Lot o ; 8% 39c ' grey and brown. AT 1 c-—WHITE LISLE HOSE for Women, 39¢ value AT 49 —ILace Trimmed LISLE VESTS, were 59¢ and C 75c; sizes 36 to 44 DOOR SCREENS WINDOW SCREENS Black — Pear]l — Bronze FLYOSAN—The Famous Fly Killer Herbert L. Mills HARDWARE 336 Main St KODAKS and SUPPLIES Try Our Eastman Method of Developing and Printing Our Service—Films Left at 8 a. m. finished by 5 p. m. Patronze Our Soda Fountain - MILLER & HANSON —Druggists— 80 CHURCH STREET SLOAN BROTHERS 185 Main Street Heat— the Test of Foot Comfort Incorrectly bullt’ shoes and hot ‘weather cause the feet to swell snd perspire. Few.shoes can stand this test of comfort. Natural freedom of foot movement and healthy ex- ercise of the arch will give relfet from hot weather foot discomfl- ture, . The Cantilever Khos v patterned from the outline of the foot. Thers is Toom for the toes and.{reefom for. the musclas to exercise. The flexible shank bends . with the foot in walking. Muscles corde grow streng. from A Fallen arches are correctsd and. free circulation keeps the feet come fortable, Cantilevers are restful and have & most attractive appearance. Treat your feet to a pair of Cuntflevers i:r natural foot fresdom-and com. rt. antilever Shoe &g Women On the Square Wednesday Mrning Special to have a number of athletic events and also baseball games. The grounds will close after Labor Day. A son was born last night at the New Britain general hospital to Mr. and Mrs Edward Youngherg of 253 Corbin avenue, h Cut Yourself a Plece of Cake. Spe- cial fox trot by Ted Lewis, Columbia Record. John A. Andrews & Co.— advt. Mr. and Mrs. Ferguson of Califor- nia have arrived in this city for a visit with their daughter, Mrs. Witkin. The couple motored across the con- tinent in 22 days. They expect to stay about three weeks, time enough to take a smoke. When approaching a gorilla, never stop to say “Good morning Mr. G.” or “Mr. O Rang O Tang!" but swiftly get to its back, crawl up it by means of the hair and after arriving in the vicinity of the neck, slowly bring the thumbs of the two hands just back of the gorilla’s ears while with the other eight fingers—unless you're a machinist or a buzz saw man and have lost one or two—slowly bring the tips of the fingers together and thus strangle your gorilla. If he falls over on you, be sure to first look at your watch to see what time it is be- fore crawling out In Demand At Suppers | See how nice it is when one ac- |Quires the nack of strangling big |game. How much one is in demand at church suppers and lawn parties | {and pink teas! Why,—at least I find glt 80—I would much rather tell of | jmy exploits as a big game strangler than to be for everlastingly talking | ‘a.houz my appendix! Of course, it's |more impersonal to talk about strang- | ling elephants and tigers and tying | rattlers in to running bowlines and Equipped for Medical, Surgical and Maternity booby knots than it is to speak on |one's appendix. T find it so, ror to | : : : 28 COURT ST. TEL. 2000 |t vou i seuts ot jt o0 tor to Chlldren S Hats ENTIRE STOCK OF |ms doctor tells me in his whole prac- | REGARDLESS OF FORMER PRICES |tise he's found without an appendix spec al I 1 L ] |How he knows I do not know. I COME EARLY FOR FIRST CHOICE |know he found my pocketbook | The very fiirst gorilla I ever strangled was in the wilds near Zan- | |zibar or, however you spell it. I |started with my gun bearer at dawn | 188 MAIN, New Britain Y. M. C. A. Bldg. IN MATHEMATICS, ENGLISH A,VD;I think it was the most beautiful | On'the Square Balance of Summer Hats ONLY A LIMITED SUPPLY LEFT $1.00 $3.00 SAVE FOR A PURPOSE It is easier to save when you have something defi- nite you are saving for: such as a business venture, in- vestment, a trip, a home; or what you will. Many are able to accomplish their purpose by saving steadily in small amounts. This is easily done with the aid of a “MONEY BARREL,” which we will gladly furnish you. Court Street Private Hospital Laura Demos, Supt. dawn I ever saw, only my gun bearer LATIN. CALL 2120 [tells me he didn't lhlnk)I!:aw l.rbl' {of dawn. He says, T saw chills and tever ! ROGER F. HOLMES Leaving my gun bearer with the WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY, A. B, |guns in a safe place at the entrance will tator In New Britaln during July [Of the jungle I stepped in. T had | and Aagust. |scarcely proceeded a dozen yards| PHONE SOUTHINGTON, 4-4. {when I saw my gorilla. I then ADDRESS, 230 NO. MAIN STREET, Iihousht he was as big as the Hip- THE BANK OF SERVICE Open Saturday Evenings 7-9 Daylight Saving Time SOUTHINGTON, CONN. podrome, New York. Since, I fuc he