New Britain Herald Newspaper, November 10, 1917, Page 6

we have always called the public's attention to any erring ways of retail grocers, ov other retailers who might have offended *in any instance. At the same time we have always given the merchants a chance to be heard. This is evidenced by the news story in question. [t was Lhe retaller grocers through who fore- told of turkey shortage. It not the Herald. We simply printed the statement. We could do no more, If the retail grocers lie, we That is their doing. and fail to HERALD PUBLISH Proprietors. Mwwed daily (Sunday oxcepted) at 4:15 p. m., at Herald Building, 67 Church St Hatered at the Post Office at New Britaln as Second Class Mall Matter. Deltvered by carricr to any part of the city cck, 65 cents a month. r to he sent by mall, 60 cents o month, arepr ntative Bubecriptions for p a was payable {n advai $7.00 a year. ¥he only profitable advertising medium fn the city Circulution books and press room always open to advertisers no le: are not to blame. If we catch them expose the falsehoods, that onr misfortune. This can be said: We have our them. Four.— The Herald will be found on sale a¢ Tlota- lng's nd St. and Broad- . Board Walk, At- tford Depot. lying, is TELEPHON1 CALLS, Business Office Editorial Rooms cyes on Other cities in the nation will not have a superabuAdance of turkey New Britain people content them- selves with an substitute,— all substitutes, of course, being infer- That New Britain will not suffer thusly, because if there is a superabundance of turkey for other places the government will see to it that New Britain is not left behind. E retail grocers cannot get away with murder. Five.—No, we are not always to be the goats. The term we do not like; but since it is used we must follow suit. Even if we are off the , we are on the map, and New Britain cannot be “victimized” too heavily while Hart- ford, and Meriden, and Waterbury, and even Springfield, are so near. We do not live in the hack-woods. If there is any injustice being meted out here, it should not take long to discover it. So long as telephone, telegraph, and mail services are at our command we fare as well as others who live in this neck of the woods. There is some consolation, or there should be, even in this. while Member of the clated Press. The Assoclated I is exclusively entitled to the use for republication of all news credited to it or not otherwise credited In this paper and also the local news published n inferior ior. is, ren “main line people They Knew. Great statesmen as they (the Fathers of the Republic) were, they knew the tendency of pros- perity to breed tyrants, and so they established these great self- evident truths, that when in the future some man, some faction, some Interest, should set up the doctrine that none but rich men, none but white men, or none but Anglo-Saxon white men were en- titled to life, liberty, and the pur- suit of happiness, their posterity might look up again to the Dec- laration of Independence and take courage to renew the battle which their fathers began. ABRAHAM LINCOLN. THE WEAK SISTER. When Nicholas II, Czar of All the Russias, was deposed and the reins of government handed over to the repre- of the proletariat, there rejoicing among the peo- democracies of earth. The while there was weeping and gnashing of teeth among certain crown heads of Kurope, some of whom felt for their own thrones. Tven then it was freely hinted and predicted in certain quarters that the Hohenzollerns and Hapsburgs would sooner or later follow the way of the Romanoffs. They were all scheduled to go down the anything-but-prim- rose path that leads to perdition. Up to this period, the Romanoffs are ties. The New Britain item, it is that, | 5 class by themselves. They have has for its motif certain observations | gane: the others remain and are still of rotail There is a | doing business at the same old stand. great difference of opinion in these | Hfow good the business, or how bad, t stories, to wit: From Washington we learn that there is a of turkeys in the Urited States this year; enough, in fact, to supply the entire nation with- out difficulty. The New Britain story 1s a sad dismal CONSOLATION 1IN THIS. From one of our most valued read- ers we have received a letter,—and such a cherished epistle—for, it speaks of turkeys; and Thanksgiving is in the offing. In this missive there 18 a page, or sheet, which is of par- ticular interest to all in this com- munity. Thereon are pasted two clippings, one from a New York news- paper, the other from the Herald. | The matter thereon has to do with the same subject—turkey. The New York story carries a Washington date- line and purports to give officlal in- | formation from the Federal authori- sentatives was great ples in the iocal grocers. newspaper any man may judge for himself. Upon the evacuation of one Nich- olas, wearer of the purple, there came to the fore in Russia a young man of democratic tendencies—a man of the people, as we would s in this coun- tr of the nower order. His It : name, as the world knows, is Keren- sk serap-heap, he was selected to set up it semblance of de- mocr Kerensky strived ta do superabundance ¥ and one, mentary on the high cost of living. says, in substance, “It is going to be cold, cold winter, so far as Thanks- | giving concerned. the | in people of New Britdin are going to | be up against it on the turkey situa- | this. He worked with might and tlon. For, in a nutshell, there ‘ain’t | main. At the outset he met with goln’ to be no such animal.’ There | difficulties. They were of various 18 a scarcity of birds, and, such being | shapes and forms. A radical him- the case, there must be an self—he had to be to overthrow con- tant price charged.” servatism—he met with cven a great- These are the than he ever dreamed totally opposite stories. this is what we have in all fairness, asks { come to know as the Bolsheviki, truth of the the element comprising the Revolu- plenty, or is there a rcarcity? Has | Socialists. Kerensky himself the Washington despatch to the New but never to the de- York newspaper the | Bree He had a mark, or has the New Britain Herala | method Qnonsithe gone into a conspiracy with local re- | first thorns in his path was the Kor- Mall grocers, the purpose of which is | niloff rebellion, of which the world !s Kerensky beat that to fleece the public here? Are other | Well acquainted. : Bities 1. ihe nation have turkey | to the ground and had the rebellious for Thanksgiving at reasonable rates | Seneral’s feathers G while the denizens of New Britain | e 1‘" ho S o5 m:dis“’:n‘c"e‘ content themselves with some inferior | VX! €1an “1 thg t“” : o Vi v Yo - substitute? Are we to always be the | ‘e PoW know the full ston cording to the Rheinische West- 87 TR falische Zeitung, of Essen, Germany, Ana, of com- : . et e We | the erstwhile premier has' been ar- s are stions. e en are questions, s i) 1 ~ rested and thrown into jail. shall attempt to answer them ia their = the Russian army on the northern order. One.—The truth of the matter s joined the Maximalists, ar is, ncither the 7 3 T , and is marching on Petro- z:', x 'CL i i . Even before this e ' s PWS i w Britain news jtem, both i LT "oy there may of which = more ‘momentous news. Events are onsiwili owding upon the heels of the Rus- This for the o g i yet been a com- ! a2 man When autocracy was sent to the is Further, place some ey exhorbi- | | dicalism cxisted. And two different and | er T Our reader, “What is the Is there a or matter? tionary was a socialist, of the Bolsheviki. in his madness, overstratched to we say by the way these fair Washington despatch ew York newspaper, nor the newspaper are plainly opposite ver-. the price of turkey. | that it has not that the Iederal reason wn upheaval. 55, | Thus stands the situation that is en- come even | is not a republic. Those are the plain facts in the case. She never has been. She never will be until her | peoble are made to understand the | real import of what means a gov- | ernment of the people, by the peo- ple, and for the people. The United States sent a commission to Russia headed by the Hon. Elihu Root, the purpose of this mission being the in- culcation of the principles of de- mocracy in the minds of the Russian people. Seemingly all this has been love's labor lost. The harvest of the commission has not been gathered: the efforts have not borne fruit. Aside from sending representative men from the various walks of life, the gov- ernment of the Unifed States did bet- ter—it sent its money, good gold money, to the aid of what looked like a new rcpublic. And this treas- ure, with the effarts of men who braved the war zone, has gone for gbt. The Russian people have turned-a deaf ear to the plead- ings of a friendly people. Instead, they have listened attentively to the cajoling of German propagandists. And they have succumbed to the hon- eyed words and phrases of Germany’s paid agents, Germany's professional mischief-makers. Poor Russia. She had the bit her teeth at one time. She has now succumbed to its curb. From now on there is little hope of continued and cffective fighting from that quarter, save when Russia fights against Rus- sla. She will not fight against Ger- many. If the Ertente Allies think she will, they are gravely mistaken. One of the great leaders of the Bol- sheviki Is the pro-German Lenine. This man is owned, body and soul, by Germany. And his cry is for an im- mediate peace, on top of which he would turn all lands over to the peas- ants. Any sane man knows that if this scheme goes through, the giv- ing away of lands, the soldiers at the frant will come back to get their share. They would be foolish to re- main fighting while the stay-at- home folk got the spoils. Judging from past performances, the Russian soldiers need even less than this to allure them from the work at hand. No, Russia is not a democracy; more’s thg pity. She gave promise of coming into her own; but she has fallen before temptation. She is a weak sister, and that is about the kindest thing that can be said. To count on Russia in the grcat strug- gle that is destined to make the world safe for demaocracy is, at this time, a foolish proposition. Russia i8 not a democracy, or republic, and never will be until her people under- stand the God-given right of man. This they do not know at the present time. along na in a FACTS AND FANCIES. The Teut machine still is run- ning with its muffler cut out, but its nose is in the ditch.—Capper's Weekly. About the least useful thing in the world to a woman is a calendar. —Paterson Call. Caruso says he will sing “The Star Spangled Banper.” Well, he can! Most of us can't—New York World. Adversity has many uses, but it will not improve the taste of coffee under the present conditions.—New Haven Register. Barges are already ordered to carry goods on the Mississippi. When we get back to the flatboat we may de- velop again an occasional Abraham Lincoln.—Brooklyn Eagle. All the Germans now have to do on the Russian front is to send a night watchman around once in 24 hours to see if the Russians are stll] there.—Meriden Journal. It Bridgeport factory employes are earning wages of $60 and $70 a week, the government at any rate should profit from the new crop of income- tax payers—New York World. Their Bit. A little bit o’ all right! I'm done for, ain't I, nurse? 'S a hole inside me somewheres Drippin’ like rain on hearse. The stren’th’s evaporatin’ Unholy—but I say! There's news'll burn the wires | To one man's 'ome this day, { Statin’ that for their country Two people glve a life: | A little bit o’ all right i To send back to the wife! { For she was fightin’ with me authoriti have stateme authorized SUCh &1 . ine the close attenton of the en- it as (o the plentifuness of the '\ " o q Russia ¢ bird, ‘and what the Herald " “o8 = . 010 “that ‘may this time printed was but the opinion of local| g in Thereits notcoass .rrneu‘hum . They may (here is no Kercnsky;: there is no de- 'Wo.—~Whether lh"!".‘ plenty, ori ., ..acy. The la though, is the there is a scarcity, will have to be de- . _ qjost of all—no democracy. And termined by Federal investigation. We | 11 aiong the world had. halled Rus- have not official republic among re- through ., plics. The world was wrong. Re- Three. s are not made in a day. Getting have of autocracy one thing. Set- loverstretched mark. We cannot democracy—a true de- say, the other. This, | oerpcy another thing. The fhowever, we can aver, and with em- ! {: it 4 States of America is an ex- phasis: The New Britain Herald has ,mple of the patience and skill Te- not entered into a conspiracy with guired: the Republic of France is & any one retail grocer, or with any , reminder be done be- group of retail grocers, or with any fore sclf-government can truly come retail or wholesale grocers whatsor its [oves, to “fleece the public”, In fact, national a civil war. be wrong. is as vet receive as vet received St Rl e [notice,—which ithe mails. The W: would such action. despatch come pub! gnRy ria is i ting up a one way or -is of what must inta, own. Russia is not a democracy. Russia is in the throes! A-firin’ like mad, An’ she matched 'eartbeats clieerfw! With ev'ry lick I 'ad. More'n 'erself she gambled, More'n my own self fell, | But them God put asunder Was married in that ‘ell. An’ so she'll dry 'er ‘anker An’ greet wi' drum an’ fife This little bit o' all right As goes back to the wife. No weepin' for my gel, miss, We neither shirked the chance, She knew what it might come to An’ paid it in advance. *Er good-by kiss was rippln’ W1’ smiles—but 'twas good-by; It worn’t so much she kissed me As set me free to dle. An’ when we meset in ‘eaven Atop this murd'rin’ strife A little bit o’ all right T'11 get back with the wife. __Stanley Kidder Wison in Philadel- phia Public Ledger, i NEW BRITAIN DAILY HERALD, SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 1017. Town Topics! whnen the hoard of finance and tax- ation meets within the next few months to prepare the annual budget for 1918 it is probable that Mayor Quigley will again appear before the members with a recommendation for a special emergency fund of $25,000. Last year the mayor advocated such a special appropriation but the mem- oers of the board did not think it necessary at the time. Conditions are different now. The United States is at war and the city., as well as the state and nation, finds itself sudden- v confronted with many things which cost money but for which there is 10 appropriation. The need of such 1 fund is daily apparent for there are requent occasions when the city finds it necessary to spend money, which may eventually be returned by the state or nation, yet it has not the cash at hand to use. .. Another automobile theft occurred in this city during the past week, one >f many during the past year or two, and although in most instances the stolen machines have been recovered, ‘here have been several that were ot. It is strange in this connection ‘hat most of the automobiles that have been stolen here of late have ieen taken from the public parking place in the vicinity of the corner of West Main and Washington street. Only Thursday night a car owned by 1 prominent Elk was tampered with. The ignition key was broken where the would-be thief had evidently foiled to start the motor. In addi- tion to the theft of the cars there lave been numerous instances where blankets, robes, clothing and equip- ment have been stolen from machines ‘n this vicinity. Something must be done to protect the owners and to curtall the activities of the miscreants. Two suggestions have been made. One ‘s that a special plain clothes police- nan be detailed to this vicinity be- tween the hours of 7 and 10 or 10:30 p. m. Another is that someone be granted the privilege of watching these machines and accepting ‘tips” from the owners as is done at various summer resorts where cars are parked. If New Britain had a cen- tral garage sufficiently large there might also be a fleld for the proprie- tor to advertise parking space for the evening at a very nominal sum, say fifteen cents or a quarter, as is done in many other cities. As it is many people are afraid to leave their cars unguarded while they attend the theaters or any other event which takes several hours. .o The reorganization of the Chamber of Commerce takes us back three or four years to.the time when the old New Britain Business Men’s associa- tion was abolished in favor of the new chamber, organized at the time by a professional organizer named W. B. Moore. All remember the glowing tales related at the time prophesying a new era of husiness prosperitw for the city as a result of this organiza- tion, but in the minds of many of the business men the Chamber of Commerce has failed. Now in drder to reorganize it, or more exactly, to organize a new chamber, it will be necessary to produce the goods or give evidence of abjlity to produce them in order to obtain membership. Those working on the inside are very op- timistic and see success ahead. Those on the outside are not so favorably inclined. They look at the proposi- tion with the skeptical eye of proverbial Missourian. But there is no doubt that a good, live Chamber of Commerce would be an asset to the city but such an organization must be a live one, it should have a live local man, rather than an imported secretary, in charge, its members should work in harmony and, above all, it should be so conducted that the members will get value received for their moncy. The new organizers have anything but an enviable task. . 0s . That section of the new automobile | law which provides that all vehicles which are so constructed as to pre- vent a free view of the operator to the rear must have a mirror equip- ment is causing more or less specu- lation among the public and odds as to what the strict interpreta- tlon might be. At first glance it would appear that any car, operated with the top down or the side curtains up, as well as sedans and limousines, should have such a mirror enabling the operator to see behind him. Acting upon this belief it is noticeable that many motorists have attached these mirrors to their ' There are others, however, who ' cars. hold that a car with only the top down permits the driver to put out his head to look behind him, or, possibly, to see In thoe rear through the cdlluloid windows. mirrors. It is probable that judges of various courts will place different ih- terpretations on the law and the first prosecution brought under this statute will be watched with interest. | Meanwhile, safety first. o« Within the next week or two the board of public works will conclude its fall work as it is getting too cold to do much outdoors, and when freez- ing weather comes it will be impos- sible to do any cement work. The work accomplished by this depart- ment during the last summer has been greater than ever before and although the department’s original prospectus was handicapped from the first by a reduced appropriation the results ob- talned are noteworthy. Tt has been a successful year. . It is said that thp attendance at the New Britain State Normal school this year is below the average and in- dications point to a scarcity of teach- ers within the next few vears. One of the reasons why fewer girls are inclined to take up teaching as a pro- fession is the better inducements of- fered them in office work and other flelds. Owing to the unusual condi- tions girls, without sacrificing » couple of years, can now obtain good posl- tions where the hours are not as long nor the work ag tiresome as teaching | continuously since that time, day and But I've seen a car or so the | even | lawyers themselves are somewhat at | being | These people | do not think {t necessary to attach | T DOING HIS BIT | AXEL H. GAHNBERG. The above is a picture of Axel H. Gahnberg of Fairview street. He-is the son of Mrs. Rose ahnberg and as his uniform denotes is a member of the United States army. When the call for volunteers was sent ringing throughout every state, city, town and hamlet in the country Gahnberg was one of the many who responded. He enlisted in the army, Medical Corps Branch, in June 22, 1917. Though no news concerning the place where he is at present stationed has been re- ceived it has been stated indirectly that he is on his way “over there.” school. Another possible rcason for the decrease in the number of girls studying to become teachers is the high cost of living. It entalls a con- siderable expense to send a girl to Normal school for two years and this is greatly increased by the present high cost of food and board. What is evidently needed is to have the state inaugurate a system of Normal school dormitories in this city, as well as other places where Normal schools are conducted, whero the students can live more cheaply. .. There now appears to be some speculation in police circles as to who will be the new sergeant and several names have been mentioned already. It Is the position of acting lieutenant held by Detective Sergeant Samuel Bamforth that creates the most inter- est however. When he was relieved of his dutles as head of the detective bureau, Sergeant Bamforth was given to understand that he was being pro- moted to the rank of acting lieuten- ant, with more congenial work and better pay. He is still, technically, a detective strgeant nevertheless, and will remain actually in that position until he Is either removed ‘‘for cause” or is officially promoted. In order to obtain promotion it will be necessary | for the common council to create the position of police lleutenant and many are wondering what disposition will be made of this police officer's case should the council refuse to create the position. - Obviously he would be kept in the same position he now occupies—acting lleutenant—but to even intimate that he might be rele- | gated back to the ranks, as certain prominent officials might like, is ab- surd. He cannot be removed without cause. e Judging from the way many letters addressed to this office are stamped the public does not yet fully under- stand the new postal laws. A letter sent to anyone In this city and posted in this clty will go with a two cent stamp as of old. The three cent postage is necessary only when the letter is going out of town. L Furniture dealers and other house-~ hold furnishing merchants say that ! this year the oil heater, the gas heater and the old time parlor stove are returning to popular favor. The argu- ment is that oll is cheaper than coal and little sheet iron stoves eat less coal than big sheet iron furnaces. s The Municipal Farm committee is now in anything but an enviable po- . sition. Tf it returns to the city treas- ury the appropriated sum of $16,000 some well known critics in the coun- cil will accuse the committee of gambling in order to balance its ac- counts, that is, buying potatoes at one price and selling at another, If they do not return the $16,000 this same clique of critics will ask “Why not?” These council critics are bound to criticfse under any condi- tion. . A glance around the city shows in | many cases that the American flags | being displayed are as much tattered {and torn as those which have been | through the hardest campaigns along | the battlefront. In some cases the same flags are being displayed today that were hung out when war was .. i | from any other university. | ter sheps. | FACTS ABOUT THE AMERICAN NAVY BY LIBUT. FITZHUGH GREEN, U. 8. N. Trade Schools The traditional saflor is a Jack-of- all trades. The modern twentieth- coentury man-of-wars-man is John Doe, Hsq., Master of One Trade. Perhaps having heard it rumored that ambition killed Caesar Mr. Doe may shun it. Makes no difference. He recelves a preliminary education at the Training Station. Thence he is shot to a battleship where daily study, instruction. lectures, and exam- ination are his lot. A fortunate few of him rcturn ashore to live and learn, at Uncle Sam’s expense, in any one of a score of the best trade schools in the country, supported and administered by the Navy Depart- ment. The Electrical School in the New. | York Navy Yard is one of the most thoroughly equipped in the world. Radio operators, dynamo room ex- perts, motor designers, and electriocal | inspectors are turned out like stand- ard parts of a million-a-year machire. The series of large academic buildings and laboratories adjacent the vast ship-building plant seem no differen’ Naval ex- perts are instructors and lecturers. Slightly smaller but equally com- plete in technical value is the Mach- inists School at Charlestown, S. C. ! Rememkber that every battleship is a huge power plant complete, with boil- ers, engines, dynamo rooms, machine shops, foundry, patterns and carpen- Ouly experts need apply; the Naval Schools make experts and prevent rejections. Only England has anything to com- pare with our Torpedo School at Newport, R. I. Not only are ord- nance and explosives taught; but div- ing, mining, and countermining. Also there are a number of ships and tor- pedo boats equipped for actual prac- tice such as oarrled out aboard bat- tleships and destroyers. In Philadelphia are located the Fuel-Oil and Coppersmith Schools. Few men in civil life are prepared to take up these branches in the Navy. Yet with a good mechanical appren- ticeship and some months in either school, a man is sure of highly pald positions so long as he may serve. Besides the Navy Yard there are two of the largest shipbuilding plants in the world, Cramps and the New York Ship Co., both open to students. The Artificer line of our service takes carpenters, plumbers, fitters, night and during rain and shine. It is not a pleasing sight to see the glorious Stars and Stripes flylng to the breezes so tattered and torn and faded. The once scarcity of flags which was prevalent six months ago has now passed. . . From the Herald of years ago this week: twenty-five November 4 Reuben Hadley and August Burckhardt were nominated by the republicans last night for rep- resentatives. The rainfall for Octo- ber was .59 inches. November 5—At noon today the temperature in this city was below the freezing point and fce was forming. | At the meeting of the fire commis- stoners last night James Tormay was appointed a stoker at No. 3 Engine House to succeed John Clark. November 7—A week from tonight the evening schools will open in the Burritt bullding. It has been said that P. S. McMahon of High street would not apply for a liquor license this year but he has. November 8—Charles F. Chase was elected president of St. Mark’s Guild last evening. A special to the Herald this afternoon predicts a cold wave which will reach here tomorrow noon. November 9—Judge V. B. Cham- berlain was assaulted on the street this morning by John Loughman as he was going to attend the funeral of John Farrell. At the electidn yes- terday the democrats here elected thelir entire ticket by handsome ma- Jorities. November 10—FEarl Harckney got his left hand In a press at the R. & B. factory today and the middle finger was taken off at the second Jjoint. HUNK A TIN. Henry Ford’s Automobile Appreclated By American Field Ambulance. People are apt to be cynics in times of peace. But war is a great leveller and appreciation of things we scoft at while’ Mars slumbers comes to the forefront. Everyone, at some time during his life, has ridiculed the Ford automobile. However, it would not be safe to express such ridicule in the presence of any of the American boys who have gone to France as ambu- lance drivers. The Ford is the car that darts to the edge of the firing line and speeds back to dressing sta- tlons with the wounded. It is idol- ijzed by the men who have been un- der fire. n the “Field Service Bulle- tin,”” the magazine of the American Fleld Ambulance, published on Sept. 22, 1917, appears a poem by C. C. Battershell, zomehow or other the name is appropriate, in appreciation ! of the Ford. It is written in the same meter as Kipling's world-fam- ous “Gunga Dhin” and is republished as one of the cleverest bits of verse melted down in that crucible of shot and shell. As is indicated In the title, it is dedicated to Car No. 123, which apparently gave up the ghost on May 8, 1917, after an honorable career. (Dedicated to the Memory of Car No. 423, S. S. U. 13 Mort, May 8th, 1917.) You may taik about your voitures When you're sitting round in quar- ters (1) But when it comes to getting blesses in Take a little tip from me Let those heavy miotors be Pin your faith to Henry F's old Hunk declared last April and their condi- tion makes it obvious that the owners | have taken no care of them and have permitted them 'to remain outdoors a tin. Now I've loafed around the war Six or seven months or more, and similar trades. Their school in Norfolk, Va., givas them the finishing touches required for naval duty. Yeomen are the stenographers, clerks, and secretaries of the Fleet. Red Tape is their occupation, avoca- tion and hobhy. At Newport appll- cants for such work are taught to knot, and splice, and tle cats-tails with Red Tape. Alexander and his Gordian Tangle are mere back-wash alongside the Admiral's Writer and a basket full of Oilicial Correspon-* dence (which doesn't correspond for a hang!) San Franclsco wes selected for the Commlssary School. Graduates are a combination of chef, paymaster, buyer, wholesalo grocer, and diplo-~ mat. They must be adept at all sorts , of cooking and catering in order that later, in oharge of the messes of 1,000 men and more, there may be no un- grateful wretch go to the Bxecutive Officer and say, “Sir, this here dinner 'ain’t fit fer a dog!” The Commis- sary’s ambition is to receive a gold watch from the crew in token of their ippreciation of his grub. The num- ver of gold watches Increases each vear. All the big Naval Hospitals, 10 or more, include courses for internes. There is a school for Naval Surgeons * in Washington, Hospital-Attendant Schools in Norfoik and San Fran- cisco specialize in ship work. Pre- vious medical training is desirable but not absolutely neocessary. Ship’s bands have become indispen- sable. Their daily concerts and dur- ing coaling ship mean almost as much as food to the sailor. Musl-, clans study and practice aboard ship. If they show promise they are sent to the Naval Musician's School for a course in Composition and Band Leadership. . Even the Fillipino mess boys have their school in which personal ser- vice is made a sclence. This as well, as-several other of the institutions are duplicated in Chicago and San Fran- cisco. Two years ago nearly 3,000 men were government students. Since the war the scholarship has almost doubled. Further increase is tempor- arily delayed only by lack of accom- modations. Think of it: Uncle Sam pays his men to let him educate them! Real Socialism, by the way, means just this sort of thing, only on a larger~ scale. ———— And the best one that I know Is that ridiculed old junk heap, Hunk | a tin, Give her essense and de I'eau Crank her up and let her go. You back firin’, spark plug foulin” Hunk a tin. ‘The paint is not so good And no doubt you'll find the hood Will rattle like a boiler shop en route. The radiator may boll | And perhaps she’s leakin’ oil Then oftentimes the horn declines to * toot. But when the night is black And there’s blesses to take back And they hardly give you time teo take ° & emoke, ‘ ! It is mighty good to feel When you're sitting at the wheel She’ll be running when the bigger cars are broke. Oh, it's Din, Din, Din If it happens there's a ditch you've skidded in Don’t be worried, but just shout Till some poilu boosts you out And you're glad she’s not so heavy Hunk a tin. After all the wars are past And we're taken home at°last To our reward of which the preachen sings, ‘When these ukulele sharps ‘Will be strumming golden harps And the aviators all have reg'lar ° ‘wings, When the Kaiser is in hell ‘With the furnace drawing well Paying for his miillon different kindr of sin, If they're running short of coal Show me how to reach the hole 3 And T'll cast a few loads down with Hunk a tin. Yes, Tin, Tin, Tin, Tou ex!alperntlng puzzle, Hunk 0o tin. > I've abused you and I've flayed you But by Henry Ford who made you You are better than a Packard, Hun? a.tin, {1) Poetic license 48725. Additional coples of this will be o sale in the lobby at No. 17, Wilhelme strasse, Berlin, after November 1, 1917, The Blow That Killed Bill. We get it from the paper— From the Grigsby City Clarion, | That Old Bill Boscobel is dead. Old Bill, he went home from town And his wife didn’t say anything to him About cleaning his feet, Or shutting the screen door, Or staying too long, Or scratching matches on the wall, Or being late to his meal, And the shock killed him. —CAPPER’'S WEEKLY. The American Secret Service. (London Spectator.) We cannot end without a word of admiration for the extraordinary ef- fectiveness of the American Secret Service. It has always stood high in repute for professional skill. It will now stand higher than ever. The Germans, we fancy, hardly dare .to deny any new charge against them, because they know that the means of exposure is probably lylng in Mr. Lansing’s lucky-bag. He has only ta dip in his hand and pull it out. One Is Enough, (Buffalo Express). Country Editor—WIill you pay your subscription with vegetables, It doesn’t matter when I did begin, Country Subscriber—I will pay §( | with a vegetable.