New Britain Herald Newspaper, August 18, 1917, Page 7

NEW BRITAIN DAILY HERALD., SATURDAY, AUGUST 18, 1917. LAST CALL ON WHITE DRESS SKIRTS AND SPORT SKIRTS Our White Dress Skirts and Sport Skirts are selling fast, because they are such exceptionally good values, Better come right away for yeurs, They are made of a variety of materials in the very best and latest styles. All are nicely trimmed with pearl buttons, and some have wide belts or girdles and some are with pockets and some without. The waist bands range from 24 to 38 inches. Regular $1.50 and $1.25 Skirts for . . .... 98¢ each Regular $1.98 Dress Skirts for .............. $1.49 each Regular $2.98 Dress Skirts for .............. $2.25 each Regular $3.98 Dress Skirts for .............. $2.98 each Regular $5.00, $5.98, $7.50 and $10.00 Dress Skirts for $4.25 each, according to their desirability. Boys’ Suits at Reduced Prices ALL WHITE SUITS for ages 3 to. 8 years, new fresh goods at reduced prices. Reg, $3.50 grade for $3.00; Reg. $2.98 grade for $3.50; Res. $2.50 grade for $2.19; Reg. $2.00 grade for $1.75; Reg. $1.75 grade for $1.50; Reg. $1.50 grade for $1.33, See our line of COLORED SUITS, ages 2 to 7 years, extra good value at $1.00 each. MIDDY and SOLDIER SUITS, the ‘m’tddy suits are white with blue trim and some have two pairs of pants. Special Price $2.39 each. or khaki with white trim. Reg. Price $2.98, Now $2.39, These sold regujarly for $2.98. The Soldier Syjts are in blue with white trim HAVING AN AUTOMOBILE DELIVERY FOR NEW BRITAIN YOU CAN DEPEND ON PROMPTLY RECEIVING® ALL DRY GOODS PU XCHASED OF US. Beriin News HAS ATTENDED ONLY ONE BOARD MEETING Daniel Webster Not Enthusiastic - Abont School Committee SUCCEEDED MR. WOODRUFF According to !{M the Connecticut Trolley Offers Good Service, Does It Not? Yes, it Does Not.—Fill Out a Blank. Unfavorable comment has been heard among the people of the town anent the fact that Daniel Webster of Beckley Quarter has attended but one gchool committee meeting since he was elected as a member of the board last fall. “It is about time that he sent in his resignation or presented himself at the meetings to voice the sentiment of the people who elected him,” said one prominent citdzen this morning. At the caucus last year the com- mittee appointed selected Mr. Webster to.serve as one of the members. His tefm i§ for three years and will not expire, unless he resigns, until two years from this fall. The man whom he was elected to succeed is Arthur Woodruff, who had served well and faithfully, according to other mem- bers, for a great number of years. Mr. Woodruff was serving as secretary when ‘his successor was appointed. Xccording to reports the man who bears the non-de-plume of the famous statesman appeared at one meeting last winter which was held in the town hall. He was there but a few mo- nients' when saying “It is too cold for me here,” he left the building. Since that time, it is alleged, he has not at- tended a sesslon. One citizén remarked this morning that it was a rank outrage that Web- gter ‘was chosen as a successor to ‘Woodruff and that the former was looking only for the office and not for any of the duties attached to it. It seems to be the concensus of opinion thgt Mr. Webster should be present at meetings held in the fu- ture or resign. What the eventual owcome of the controversy will be Is food for thought. Some Service. Residents of the town who commute back and forth morning and night to and from New Britain are waxing in their indignation of the service offered to them by the Connecticut Trolley company The trip to Berlin from New Britain has been compared with 8 ride on the ocean wave, but adding insult to injury they do not run on any specific schedule, patrons say. One man who journeys from New Britain to Berlin each evening kept count of the number of times that he left the center of that city on time. Up to last night he had left on time just once. The other four nights he left the center anywhere from ten minutes to half an hour late. On evening he appeared at the center to catch the 7:33. It was 8:07 when he left the center and the car stopped in front of thé South church’ until 8:13 when it started for Berlin. Do the Boys Justice. For the purpose of getting the town who have sallied forth to make the world safe for democracy the Herald has been waging a campaign for several weeks. In the last few days there has been a steady decreass in the number returned. It is thought that not all the names are in yet. Till that tme there should be no abate- ment. Every patriotic man and wom- an in the town should fill out a blank and send it in. It takes but a few moment’s time and is according an honor to the boys who responded to the call to the colors. Let it not be said that the citizens of the town were not patriotic to help determine ! the “honor roll” and bring the cam- paign to a successful finish. The blank which should be filled out will be found on Page 2 and can either be returned to the Herald, given to the Berlin reporter or left at either the Kensington or Berlin post offices. At the Churches. Berlin Congregational Church, Rev. S. A. Fiske, pastor—Morning worship will be held in the church at 10:45. All departments of the Sunday school will convene at noon. At 6:30 o’clock the Christian Endeavor meeting will be held. St. Paul's Church, Rev. J. C. Bren- nan, pastor—Services will be held in St. Paul's church, Kensington at 10 o'clock and at the Sacred Heart church in East Berlin at 9 o’clock. Kensington Congregational Church, Rev. Carleton Hazen, pastor—Morn- ing worship will be conducted by the pastor_at the usual hour, 10:45. Sun- day school will follow at noon. The Christian Endeavor meeting will take place at 6 o’clock. Kensington Methodist Church, Rev. E. F. TLounsbury, pastor—Regular services will be held at 10:45 and the Sunday school will convene at noon. At 6:45 the Junior league will hold a meeting and at 7 the usual even- ing services will’ take place. Briefs. Mrs. A. H. Bushnell and children are the guests of Mr. and Mrs. {. H. Fleischer at their cottage at Indian Neck over the week-end. Mr. Bush- nell will join them over Sunday. There was a village improvement society social at the home of W. E. Brown in East Berlin last evening. The canning and drying demonstra- tion which was scheduled for next Tuesday has been postponed until a date which will be announced later. Mrs. G. A. Hubbard and son, Ken- neth, of Southington are visiting rel- atives in East Berlin. About 130 employes of the Amer- ican Paper Goods company left this morning for Savin Rock where they are holding their annual outing this yearn They will return this evening. Mr. Brotherton of Clinton has pur- chased the farm of M. Bertz of East Berlin. A large crowd .left this morning on the special trolley car for Elizabeth Park in Hartford where the Meth- odist church picnic will be held today. Mrs. J. M. Dean of Hartford will | be in Athletic hall, East Berlin, at 2:30 o’clock Wednesday afternoon and will demonstrate methods of dry- ing fruit and vegetables. Robert Deming has gone to West- erly, R. I, where he will join his wife who is sojourning there. Mr. and Mrs. Henry Deming accompanied him and will return tomorrow. Miss Madeline Heinlein of East Berlin is visiting friends in Spring- fleld. A registration card bearing the number 59 and the name Giovanni Sandini was found yesterday at the names of all the young men frdm this 5 railroad station. At the present it%s in the hands of Town (Clerk Francis Shaw. The owner can have it by appearing there and proving his identity. Miss Ruth Todd who has been vis- iting Miss Elizabeth Honiss of East Berlin has returned to her home at Staten Island. John A. Fitzgerald will spend Sun- day in Barkhampsted. WILL GOVERN UKRAINES, Cabinet to Head Five Russian Prov- inces. Petrograd, Aug. 18.—The provis- ional government has approved secre- tariate general for the Ukraines, which until the constituent assembly decides the whole question of self- government will be the organ of ad- ministration. Members of the secretariate will administer the provinces of Kiev, Vol- hynia, Podolia, Poltava, Tchernigov and others if the Zemstov desire. It will be composed of secretaries gen- eral for finance, agricultural, public instruction, commerce and jndustry, home affairs, labor and national ques- tions. Bills for administration in these departments will be drafted and submitted for the government's ap- proval. The local authorities will ap- ply to the secretariate, which after informing the government, will trans- mit the latters order to district ex- ecutive bodies. DOGS TEAR BOY TO DEATH. Owner Held in $2,000 Bail on slanghter Charge. New York, Aug. 18.——Nine-year-old Ralph Protta of No. 245 East One Hundred and Fiftieth Street the Bronx was killed yesterday afterrcon by two dogs which set upon him and tore him so frightfully that he died fifteen minutes after he had been admitted to Lincoln Hospital. Liberie Pecciano, a laborer of No. 232 East One Hundred and Fifty-first Street, owner of the dogs, was ar- rested on a charge of homicide and held in $2,000 bail for a hearing be- fore Coroner Flynn. Man- MEETINGS IN STETTIN BANNED. Amsterdam, Aug. 18.—The military commander at Stettin, Germany, has forbidden “in the interest of public safety, meetings in Stettin and in the district of Rantzow. The socialist or- gan Vorwaerts says the executive committee of the socialist party sent to Chancellor Michaelis a protest against such prohibitions, which are reported in all parts of Germany, and a request for the abolition thereof. SHOE MEN TO ECONOMIZE. Boston, Aug. 18.—The New Eng- land Shoe and Leather association has sent out an appeal to its members to carry out to the best of their ability the rules laid down by the national food administration. Economy in the use of wheat, meat, butter and sugai. DECISION AGAINST DANCER. Paris, Aug. 18.—Although a re- vision courtmartial has rejected the appeal of the Dutch dancer Mata Ha- ri, who was recently condemned to death as a spy, she still can ask that her case be heard by the supreme court. DANISH STEAMER ASHORE. St. Johns, N. F., Aug. 18—The Dan- ish steamer: Fredericka, a vessel of about 1,500 tons was reported ashoro at a point of the New Foundland coast today. 4 Plainville News YOUNG GIRL MAY BE PARALYSIS VICTIM Daughter of Mr. and Mrs, Dona- hue Goes to Isolation Hospital FEET AND HANDS CRIPPLED Suspected Infantile Paralysis Case Ro- ported—Victim Taken Nl Yester- day—Davis Infant Dead—Learn How to Preserve Fruits.—Briefs. Believed to be suffering from the dreaded {infantile paralyais, the four- year-old daughter of Mr, and Mrs. Robert Donahue of Westwood parlk, was taken to the isolation hospital in Hartford yesterday. Symptoms of the disease are manifest in the little gifl's case and while a positive diagnosis has not been made doctors are of the ovinion that the little girl is a paralysis victim. The child had not been feeling well for a few days but was able.to be around as usual until yesterday when both her hands and feet became par- tially paralyzed. Dr. J. C. Tanner was sent for and after an examina- tion he expressed the opinion that the little girl might be suffering from the dread disease although it had not developed sufficiently to permit of a positive diagnosis. As a precaution the physician advised that the patient be taken to the isolation ‘hospital for observation and treatment. Plainville has had but one infantile paralysis case since the disease broke out in this section a year ago. Doc- tors throughout the state do not an- ticipate an epidemic this summer although they believe there may be sporadic cases. Davis Child Dead. Kenneth Irving Davis, the three months old son of Mr. and Mrs. Vic- tor Davis, died last night at the home of his grandmother, Mrs. William Bates of Mountain View. The child had been suffering from intestinal trouble. The funeral was held this afternoon and interment was in West cemetery. “Drunks” in Court. John Coyle and James Ellis faced Justice Prior in court this morning on charges of intoxication and breach of the peace. The former, arrested yesterday by Constable Downing, was fined $5 and costs. He made a scene at the freight office yesterday when he was refused work because he was in an intoxicated condition. Ellis created a disturbance at Wil- liam H. Miller's place on the New Britain road yesterday. He demanded admittance to the house and when refused threatened to do dire things to the inmates. Officer Marino finally landed him in the lock-up. This morning Justice Prior sentenced him to jail for sixty days, finding him guilty on both breach of the peace and intoxication charges. Learn How to Can. Mrs. Julian Dean of Hartford, gave two practical demonstrations of fruit and vegetable canning today in the town hall. She gave lessons to a small gathering this morning, explaining her methods to a larger number at this afternoon’s session. Mrs. Dean showed her audience how to can corn and tomatoes and also e plained the methods to be employed in drying fruits and vegetables. Plainville women have had plenty of opportunity to receive instruction in the art of canning and they should be well qualified to ‘“do their bit” in the conservation of food while the war is in progress. Through a local com- mittee headed by Mrs. H. A, Castle the Hartford county league has been prevailed upon to send Mrs. Dean heré on two occasions this summer. Dem- onstrations have also been given in va- rious homes by local experts. The housewives in the town have shown considerabe enthusiasm over the food conservation movement and preserve closets will probably be well stocked this winter as a result of their activities. Tobacco for Soldiers. Members of the fire department are making preparations to raise a tobac- co fund for the use of the Plainville boys serving in the various branches of the army or navy. The Hose company has voted to have a drawing an August 25 of mis- cellaneous prizes left over from the fair given during the winter, the re- ceipts of which will be used to start the fund. There is considerable interest in the ~SERVICE ¥ ¥ P It has always been the aim of this Bank to render to its depositors and to the general public prompt and efficient service. We therefore hope that you will give us the op- portunity to serve you in your particular needs by do- ing your Banking through this institution. L Plainville Trust Co. PLAINVILLE, CONN. plans of the firemen and the move- ment towards providing comforts for the boys at the front or in camp will no doubt meet with the practical ap- proval of the townspeople. Plainville will soon have about 75 young men in the service and the stay-at-homes will have a good op- portunity to keep a ray of suhshine in their lives while they are battling to make the world safe for democracy by supporting the plan of the firemen. At the Churches, Hpiscopal—Holy Communion will be served Sunday morning at 8 o'clock in the Church of Our Saviour. At the regular morning service, the rector, Rev. R. H. Burton, will preach, Methodist—Rev. W. A. Goodell, the pastor, will occupy the pulpit at both morning and evening services Sun- day. Baptist—Rev. Arthur H. Carpenter of Hartford, will substitute for the pastor at the services tomorrow morning. There will be no servige in the evening. . Arranging Date of Match. Having agreed to settle the ques- tion of superiority as wrestlers, Al- bert Ventrees, the Berlin blacksmith, and Flavy Benjamin of this place, will, through their respective man- agers, make arrangements in a few days for the bout which will decide | which is champion. Although he weighs considerably less than his Berlin opponent, young Benjamin last evening expressed him- self as being well pleased with Ven- trees’ acceptance of his challenge. He will go into training for the match at once. 7 The bout will probably take place in New Britain where Ventrees is well known. . ° Brief Items. Edwin Ostlund of New Britain, substitute mail' carrier for the locai post office, is among those called to take the physical examination for the army in his home city. Mrs. John F. Lyons has returned to her home in Newport, after spending a few days in town with relatives. Accompanied by the pastor, Rev. ‘W. A. Goodell, and their parents in many cases, the Sunday school chil- dren of the Methodist church went to Lake Compounce this morning for their annual outing. A number of members of Sequassen lodge went to New Haven today to at- tend the annual meeting of the Veteran Odd Fellows' association. The Plainville baseball team will have a day off tomorrow, no game having been scheduled for,that day. LOST—Probably in vicinity of Canal or West Main street, wedding ring with initials “L. C.” and ““J. P.” Re- ward if returned to Conforti's mar- ket. 8-18 wl FOR SALE—Organ in good condition. Price $1,000. Inquire 656 East St., Plainville. 8-17-d2x TOWN TOPICS. (Continued from Sixth -Page) ted. His case is the most flagrant one of frigid pedal extremities yet noted. e ‘Well boys, its going to be a great trip across anyway. And we always did have a harkering to see gay old Paree. e Do you think, Mr. Boggs, that the young man who seeks exemption on the grounds that his mother never lets him wear clcthes of which she does not approve, and she does not approve of the army khaki, has a good claim for exemption? . xn The most novel exemption claim thus far: Not only did the registrant claim . exemption for occupational reasons, but he also claimed that his mother was dependent upon him as well as “about twenty guys I been playing cards with for the last three months. Without me they'd starve.” s The draft is the only subject of con- versation these days. Among the male population the pertinent question is whether or not each individual is included in the first call, and among the fair sex the equally important to them, question relative to the same is who they can get to take them to the movies to the theater and with whom will they dance after the hoys have gone. It certainly is a momentuous question. Everywhere about the city the customary daily greeting of “How Are You?" can be answered explicitely nowadays by scores of young men who had lived 1n indifference or doubt con- cerning their health up to a few weeks ago. Last night leaning up against the Herald building reading the score board, was a husky looking truck driv- er. “How dld y' make out, Jim?"” quer- fed an acquaintance. 5 “Aw, no good’, answered the first, “the doctors are all fakes anyway. voung feller list'ned t' me chest. § I had a heart moimer or somethin’. I ain't got no heart moimer. If a gink cant hear his own heart I'd like " know who kin? I never heard no moimer.” B ‘e Numbered -amiong the other regis- trants in the second district” was a | gentleman of color. He had loitered about the examination room for sev- eral minutes and when asked what he wanted sald he wanted to get out of going to war. , ] “You didn’t ask for exemption”, the clerk reminded him. “You done said a mouf-ful doc” an- swered the negro. “an 'why do you all think ah didn't ask fer {it? Ah didn’t ast fer it kause ah didn’t never heard tell of no such word as semp- n befo’ in all ma life. Deed ah didn’t boss. Ah didn't know what it was an’ ah couldn’t ast fo’ somefin when ah didn’t know whut it is, would I? Ah can't join no army noway kause ah'm jest sik o' joinin’ things. Ah jined the cullud Elks down souf and ah got 'rested fo' wearin’ a Elk but- ton. Ah jined a black woman in wed- lock and ah got ’'rested for ho sup. port, and now, boss, ah don't spect olly be th’ death o' me jest kause ah don’t know th meanin' o' big words.” “en It is strange in looking over the reg- istration cards made out on June 6 to see how many young men of all class- es bravely announced that they did not claim exemption; then glance over their cards made out on their examin- ation day. Some of the returning New Britain young men who have become officers at Plattasburg tell amusing tales of life in barracks, as lived by citizens un- used to army conditions. One of them concerns an inspection of quarters made by Captain Phillp Mathews, U, 8. A., during which a sleepy candi- date made an amusing error at the wrong time, At the end of the barrack bunks, upper and lower, were small cards upon which appeared the name af the occupant, the number of his rifle and the number of his bayonet. They were known as bunk cards, Incidentally the bunks contained tough mattresses and no springs. Coming along on an early morning inspection, Captain Mathews rapped on the side of & bunk from which the registration card had disappeared. “Bunk card!” he roared. A sleepy voice within answened:— “You bet it is—-damned hard.” e ‘With the development of self-made steps to save the slacker it is only to be expected that there has been a parallel advance in the means to trap those who are ready and willing to do nothing. ‘Wednesday in one of the registra- tion places a trick regarding the sight of a gladiator of faint heart worked perfect and among those who will start for France at the order will be the reluctant victim. He had taken the eye test and had stated that he could with difficulty make out the lar- gest letters on the test chart. He was examined closely by the physicians for the reason that in the tests pre- ceding it he had clearly shown a de- sire to disqualify. The sight test seemed to cap the climax, for his answers really indicated that his sight was defective, “Tell you what,” said one of the surgeons, ‘vyou ought to take up some servite away from the firing line. Your sight does not appear to be es- pecially good and T would rather pass you for the Quartermaster’s depart- ment. You, will see no fighting of course, and the pay is a considerable bit higher, but if you do your work there I don’t know but what you would be well satisfied. You'd really be doing your bit-even though the pay was pretty good and the danger amounted to nothing. Here's a chart describing it.” The applicant took the chart, on which was printed in the smallest type a description of the work in the quartermaster’s department. He read it absorbedly. “What do you think of that?” asked the surgeon. “Sounds pretty “good to me,” answered the applicant, little know- ing that in those words he had as- sured himself of a view of France, PIONEER OILCLOTH MFGR. DEAD Charles M. Bailey Was Engaged Business 75 Years. Winthrop, Me., Aug. M. Bailey; who was engaged in the manufacture of oilcloth for 75 years until his retirement three years ago, died here today at the age of 97. Starting with an abandoned barn, he added .to the plant yearly until it covered more than 84 acres of floor space and produced more than $1,- 500,000 of finished product a year. He was sald to be worth nearly $10,000,- 000. In recent years Mr. Bailey gave large sums to charitable and educa- tional institutions. i GERMAN AGENTS SPIKED. London, Aug. 18.—The United States military attache has invited the Rusian officers and Serbians to join the army, offering large monetary rewards. Believing these reports genuine many Russians lately have been applying for admission to the American army. The attache de- clares that. the reports have been spread by German agents and aim to cause confusion in the army. in RECOMMENDS 100 OFFICERS. Cambridge, Mass., Aug. 18.—Cap. tain James A. Shannon, commandant of the Harvard Reserve Officers Training Corps which completed its training course this week, has for- warded to Washington a list of 100 of the most promising members of the regiment. This list was accom- panied by a recommendation that these be appointed second lieuten- ants in the new national army. VETERAN REACHING BOSTON. Boston, Aug. 18.—Civil War vet- erans arrived here in large numbers today in preparation for the national encampment of the Grand Army of the Republic next week. Headquar- ters were opened at various hotels for the Grand Army the Sons of Veterans and several auxlliary bodies. NEW SOLDIER TO WED. A marriage license was granted yesterday to Frank C. Brayne of East Maint street and Miss. Cora B. Axelby of East Maint street. The prospec- tive bridegroom is a member of the new National army, having been ac- cepted by exemption board No. 2 on August 14. He passed the physical examination and did not make a claim for exemption. MAKING HOSPITAL SHIPS. Madrid, Aug. 18.—The German mil- itary attache Yhad handed to Spain Emperor Willlam’s definite accept- ance of conditions under which hos- pital ships are to be protected from attack by submarines. Seven Spanish officers have gone to France to act as commissioners on board the hos- pital ship to guarantee that it carries only sick and wounded. ah'll go jine somefin that'll jest natch- Buy an Indiana truck.—advt. COMMUNICATED (Continued from Sixth P: if not more happiness “Lorna’ of old. T hope his misfortune, and draft in whhich he sat, on Batw evening (of which he spoke in ) day evening’s paper, shall not- p vent him from writing more of hig teresting articies in the Herald, I am sure a great many enjoy ing. A certain few who are alone & have nothing to do of an evening g at least enjoy a good laugh furnis b Mr. Bogss. - Yy our Mr. B! A READER than 8 e BOGGS IS BACK. After a Sojourn to the Hospital Pays Glowing Tribute to Ad- | ministering Angels There. 4 To the Editor of the Heral It does my old heart good to k that my newly fgund friends of Herald family are Inquiring for n Why, bless your soul, it puts new: in me. And I just out of the hospiy A week’s illness prevented me frd furthering my acquaintance ama your readers. Gee, but it is good get out again. Yet, I miss the kin treatment of the nurses. You kng I think nurses are the finest wony on the face of the earth. Truly are God’s administering angels. All hours of the night and day, little nurse goes about doing her ¢ poral work of mercy. And she ho for no reward other than the alle¥] {ing of others’ ills and pains, Tr{ this is charity. Sometimes she glven a word of thanks; more tim it is compaint. For the sick are patient. Strange it isl that patl is little known among patients. § well, it is human nature, and hum nature is a very difficult thing change. 4 Lying there on my little white in the hospital, my thoughts natursj turned to war and the grim tra being enacted on the battleflelds Europe. There are to be found ] nurses doing even better and bigs work than they do in the hospt! ths land. For there they make eV bigger and greater sacrifices. care of the wounded who come from the trenches is no mean job. | I say, hats off to the nurses. ] Were I a woman I think I would in for nursing. Many a gruff old has been brought back to his senss —his moral sences,—by the co grace and administrations of a 1! nurse. Talk about Billy Sunday as evangelist. He is not in it with number of nurses I have met in rounds of this staid old world. It been my good fortune, or bad fortu: if you want to call it such, to h been a patient. I have been very lucky in the accident market. K time I turn around I get hurt. some one is not stepping on my I manage to get a broken rib or or even suffer a severe breaking @ of the nervous system. Not ¥ home of my own, there is but place in which I can hope for plete medical attention. And that} the nearest hospital. So there I and inevitably meet with a charmfi) little nurse who makes me aln forget about my suffering and st me on the new road of life. T God we have such benevolent persa working amongst us day after da and uight after night, with no he of anything but the joy of rende 18.—Charless| to poor old broken-down members the race. Soldiers marching away to battl are, indeed, heroic figures; but nurses go about their daily routin without the blaring, blazing. blas boom-boom-booming of the b band, or the waving of flags, or th cheering of multitudes. They ind are the silent sentinels of life, . L. K. BOGGS, | HOW TO GET A RAISE, Advise That May Be Appreciated Many Horny Handed Sons of Toil. Ta the Elditor of the Herald:— One of your readers recently asiad for information as to how to s 3 the boss‘far a raise. Although rathe a ticklish subject, I will venture thii advise! Wait ’'till the dark of th moon, then on some warm quiet nighty slip unobserved to the boss’ hom Take off your shoes, ascend the step Press the button, or lift the knockery or use your knuckles as the case may be. When your boss comes to tl door, quickly, though playfully dod| behind one of the posts of the stoop. The boss will of course step out onj the stoop to find out who rang the bell. After he is well out, you say] "”Ah, there, or peek-a-boo!” at the same time showing yourself. Then| upon his recognizing you take fram your pocket the little silk pillow] youv'e already provided, toss it on the floor before him, then kneel on it and repeat these words with your lily] hands foulded on your breast’ “Mr. -You dear, kind, long} suffering cuss, many years while works= ing in the factory under you have avoided you. Many hours have I kil-] led with all kinds of bloody weapons} such as “How's your garden coming! on? and have you found any bed-bugs in the beet bed? ‘“And that reminds me of the “feller” and so on. But, I am paying 48c a pound for smoked beef, 50c a pound for butter $8.00 a pair for shoes 29c a gal. for gasoline, 4-11-44 on craps. I must have =& raise.”” Then take from the other pocket a nice “German Lover” (if he's a German boss) and give it to him. Then before giving him a chance to make reply run home, and in tho morning your boss-1l say upon seeing you with your smiling face, and hair all plastered on the top of yaur head, 1 say, your boss will say,—he will if he's any good ‘“Hey there, you, you're fired!” ® The other way to get a raise is to | first kill the boss of vour room, and then when vou sece the “super” sail- ing down through the room spring out, grab him by the neck, hit him a fow times, kick him a few, then: say ‘phew! “aint it hot?” Then say, ““How's chances for another quarter?” If he says “What put that in your head? you say “I think it was the . Devil eight vears ago when vou gave me the last quarter.” HENRY WILLIS MITCHELL. Plainville, Conn.