Lakeland Evening Telegram Newspaper, May 14, 1914, Page 4

— ¥ i T The Evening Telegram| Published every afv.eruoon from the: Telegram Building, Lakeland, Fla. Entered in the postoffice at Lake- 1and, Florida, as mail matter of the vecond class. M. F. HETHERINGTON, EDITOR. SUBSCRIPTION RATES. Mo year . i.iveea s T T BIX MONTDA (s sioissovenssss &80 Yhree montns ....cc.oe00500 126 Delivered anywhere within the limits of the City of Lakeland for 10 eents a week, From the same office ls issued THE LAKELAND NEWS, A weekly newspaper giving a resume of local matters crop conditions, eounty affairs, etc. Sent anywhere for $1.00 per year. Powell, of the Clearwater Sun— the only, original, ubiquitous, omni- verous Powell-——has a way of getting things he wants, because he goes af- ter them like he wants them. For instance, he wanted the Evening| Telegram, and this is the kind of communication he wrote to insure his getting it: “Why in the devil don’t you send me your sheet in ex- change for my measly, fleas-bitten, mangy rag, which I havebeenstrain- ing my back for two weeks to get to you? Respectfully, Powell.” Need- less to say, this galvanizeq our mail- ing department into activity, and Powell can use our ‘‘sheet™ for cov- ering these cool Florida summer the lordly waiter. We know menl who would be wholly unawed in al igathering of senators or other high ! dignitaries, but who wither up with failing nerve under the contemptu- ous gaze of a colored servitor. It is a queer phase of human nature, and quite a fortunate one for the waiter, the Fuilman porter, the hat check girl, and the score or more of others who feed unon th's almost universal foible. e b el T SUMMER HAS ARRIVED OVER IN PENSACOLA We are admonished that summer is nearly here. The calendar would have told us so but what is more in- fallible is the presence in Pensacola of “Uncle Joe" Dixon, editorial writ- er on the Lakeland Telegram, who is now here on his annual pilgrim- age to the scenes of earlier times in his old Texas stamping grounds. Next fall, when the wild ducks be- gin to fly and roe mullet are in sea- son, we may expect to see him back again. Uncle Joe's presence, in the dreary monotony of newspapergrind, is like an oasis to the weary desert traveller and his annual visits to Pensacola are always a source of pleasurable anticipation from the time he leaves until the benignant glow of his countenance again ap- pears above the horizon.—Pensacola Journal . TALE OF A SHIRT nights hereafter. Pt Did you ever see what anybody called “a good, live town' that did not have certain public improve- ments? Did you ever sce these pub- lic improvements? Did you ever see these public improvements secured without issuing bonds to pay for them Take away the things that Lakeland has which were procured by her bond issues, and what kind of a town would Lakeland be? There are people who opposed every issue of bonds that has been proposed, and yet these same people wouldn't stay in the city now if the improvements they opposed should be taken away. RIS RISy Those boys over in the Congressional district are on what we have heard described as “personal pulpitude.’ Their chief implements of warfare are cuts of their own physiogonomies, and it seems to be the idea that whoever can get his picture in the paper of- tenest and largest is putting up the best fight. Two of the candidates, L'Engle and Albert Williamson, have papers of their own, and, therefore, have somewhat of an advantage, but Joe Sears is not easily outdone, and his picture ornaments most of the papers of the district. Thus a pic- torial, if not a picturesque, war is being waged. May the best looking man win! Fourth running 7, Sy One car of tomatoes shipped by a Polk county grower brought over eleven hundred the New York market, and he has sev-y eral more cars to ship. A Surus()!u' farmer sold his five re crop of to- matoes the other y for $1,500. Probably there are many other South Florida growers who did equally as well, but these are concrete examples to which any who are skeptical may be cited. How many farmers in the north are getting anything like such results as these? And it should be borne in mind that probably two oth- er crops of different kinds will be simoleons on taken off this same tomato land within the year. et S i The Plant City Courier obligingly answers our relative to the identity of the newspaper man who query impersonateq the vice president at Wauchula, with the information that it was mnone other than the Woods, edi Region. “The felt hon- have seen the nmianner de- editor was Clarence E Eustis Lake redoulitable tor of the vice president ored could he in which he Courier would have was represented,’ clares the whose present on the « Of course, of course! Depend upon Woods to make good under any circumstances or to carry off The only that busy-body went and told the Wauchula folks of the little joke that was played on them, otherwise they woulg earry with them a conception of the vice president highly flattering to that high official. 0 slon any situation. pity is some always The suggestion of an anti-tipping law is made to the next Legislaturc but it is doubtful if such a law would | hold if st itted to a constitutional | test. The tip must he epted as a those who are so untraveled or un- | sophisticated as t placed make t ; average “come ACross very | time under the patronizing | his picture would indicate, although ‘the gang in his favorite Hillsbor- The Tampa Tribune prints a pic- ture of President Marshall shaking hands with Tommy Tiger- tail of the Seminofes. There was another Indian shown in the back- ground of the same picture but the Tribune fails to give his name, sup- posing of course that the reader would readily recognize the name- less one as Ruben Shirtail, chief of the Sarasotas, who frequently gets off the reservation and commits dep- redations upon the outposts of the Tampa Brewing (0. *Chief Ruben is not afflicteq with hydrophobia, as Vice he has a great abhorrence for water. While he does not object to its use in case of fire he would not turn on his heels for the gulf of Mexico for drinking purposes, He belongs to one of the great semi-savage bands known as the “white apron bunch’ angd frequently mixes medicine with ough haunts. So deep ig his devotion to the white apron clan that in the absence of the proper insignia of the tribe he has been known to fluant the lower part of his shirt in lieu of an apron. Hence his name——Chief Shirtail. He ig friendly to the pale face (and red nose) warriors and spends many happy hours with his chumg A-Chohol, Bud Wieser, Ann Heiser, “Red” Eigh, Rhi Whiski, R. G. Booze and others of like notor- iety. The Tribune is right. It were a waste of words to name theg reat chief of the Sarasotas when the humblest gink in all the lanq could identify his hide if he should find it in a tanyard.—Arcadip Enter- prise. GIVEN AWAY FREE! | ' T(a Every Housewife in Lakeland MODEL HAR will give away absolutely f introduce the famous * N. B. $100 REWARD will be paid use acids in Overbright Polish. The absence of such : tees harmlessness to the most delicately varnished surface. 10 THE DEMOCRATS OF FLORIDA In the opening words of the pl.m.rrm of my opponent, Mr. T. J. Appleyord, Jr., he asserts that he is a “Progressive Democrat, a dis- ciple of the late Governor, N. B. Broward.” In the concluding words of his platform he states that he believes in the “fullest publicity.” Section 22 of the primary election law requires each candidate in the primary to file a statement, under oath, showing, among other things, “the particular party of which he is a member, that he did not vote for any nominee of any other pakty, national, state or county, at the next preceding general election.” The last general election was held on November 8, 1912, Hon. W. C. Hodges was the “Bull Moose” candidate for Governor and ran against Hon. Park Trammell, the regular Democratic nominee, In that campaign Mr. Appleyard wrote the following letter to Mr. Hodges: A E. A. Thomas, Pres. T. J. Appleyard, Jr., Mgr. ot THE E. A, THOMAS REAL ESTIATE AND INVESTMENT COMPANY POST-OFFICE BUILDING ARCADIA, FLORIDA Bearing Grapefruit and Orange Groves. General Trucking and Citrus Fruit Sales Agents DeSoto Fruit Lands Co. Farms e November 1, 1912 Hon, W, C. Hodges, Tallahassee, Florida. \T\' Dear Friend Hodges: Put me down in the Bull Moose column. T shall cast my vote on next Tuesday for the whole ticket and do alll T can to secure votes for it here. Will try and arrange to go to Washington with you in March next, to see Teddy inaugurated. With kindest regards and best wishes, believe me to be, Sincerely yours . + 15 i APPEEYARD How can Mr, Appleyard now ask the support of the Democrats of Florida for a high and honorable posltxOn’ May we not well say: “The voice is Jacob’s voice, but the hands re the hands of Esau?” Very respectfully, ) W. A. McRAE. Tallahassee, Fla., May 12, 1914. e ———————————— ———————————————————————— HUMOR ON THE BATTLE- FIELD MOTHER'S ALMANAC I tell you, when dates, My mother's just “the boss!’ She tells me all I want to know "Thout ever gettin’ cross. Gen. Nelson A. Miles is cred- it comes to ited with the following anecdote recently related by a London periodical: “Gen. Nelson A, Miles, of the United States Army, was recalling one of the incidents of his life at a dinner|You'd think she'd get mixed up one evening, ‘There is a lot of sometimes— kumor—real humor—to be found| (At school I know I do— on battlefields,” he said. ‘I re-|'Bout Washington, and Ply- member the case of a retreat mouth Rock, i which was really a rout. In this| And 1492, retreat the commanding general, S R as he galloped along like the wind, turned to his aide-de- camp, whao was also urging his horse to the limit, and asked, “Who are our rear guard?” The aide, without the slightest hesi- tation, replied, “Those who have the worst horses, sir!” ” R Ak | But mother says: “The war with| Spain Was fought in ‘98— The year vou all had chicken- pox, Exceptin’ little Kate. “That year, of course, the Span- ish khnps Were sunk in Cuba’s channels; was summer, for I'd put away You children's winter flannels The Minneapolis, Minn., chamber of commerce is contemplating fol-| lowing the lead of the Detroit board in inaugurating a campaign for Sat- urday night closing of retail stores in that city. The plan is approved by most of the labor unions of Min- neapolis. “The Doer war in Africa— That was a dreadful thing! Began in ‘99, T know. Jack broke his arm that spring was nineteen-four, and win- ter, too, When Japs fought. You almost had pneumonia then From that bad cold wou caught.” 5 and Russians There's six of us, and we're mix- ed up With hist’ry just that way. Sometimes it's measles, croup or mumps, Buu there's no date stumps My mother, night or day! . Xia‘hw]:h‘ that ever —St freight packing Austin, Minn Existing meat and from have rates on fresh 10use products , to Chicago, 1ll., en held unreasonable by the Interstate commerce commission Rates of 18 centg and 16 pounds DWARE CO. ree a Duncan Polish Mop to ‘Overbright Polish.’ to any person prov cents a have that we i Sia ids guaran- lundred respectively, been fixeq for the future. -— Use ink and write plainly. B Preserve can iy celled vouchers ‘&}x\s receipls. dign your name the same. Starl at ext w2 the ough a1 i . S e eprec ord 72 of each check ¥ =2, “Be Amerncan State Bank -/.r O A 4 » 20 P | e S (‘. b U Enc 101 S \d,.n (/ > u\I sma l}fi‘%‘?':? 3 DEPObIT vVlTH an American--One of us”’ PAGE FOUR THE EVENING TELEGRAM LAKELAND, FLA., MAY 14, 1914. e —— e —— LET US TRADE FOR JUST O WE CARRY THE STAND BEHIND EVER YOUR KIDNEYS ance of Keeping Them Welt Perfect health means lnat every organ of the body is performing its functiong properly. Perfect health cannot be enjoyed if the kidneys are weak and disor- dered. Thousands testify that Doan’s Kidney Pills have a reviving action on weak kidneys. What this remedy has done in so many cases of this king is the best proof of its merits, Reaq the following. mony gratefully of Bartow: Mrs. S. G. It's testi- Williams Bartow, Fla., s fered from backache and pains be- itween my shoulders and 1 also had dizzy spells ang headaches. A box of Doan's Kidney Pills relieved me avenue, .nl(l toned up my system., For sale by all dealers cents. Foster-Milburn Co., New York, ed States. Remember the name — Doan’s — and take no other. Bucalo, sole agents for the Unit- The Panama-Pacific and Panama- California expositions to be held next year are described and the San trictg pictured in a folder just issued by the Denver & Rio Grande-West- ern Pacific scenic route. An inter- esting feature of the production is a large relief map showing the topo- graphical characteristics of the and Sierra Nevada mountains, D J. H. Tacker, at the Lake Phar- macy, hag the agency for Knull, the Florist, of Tampa. 2475 —— e FOR CHOICE CUT FLOWERS for en- tertainments, parties, funerals, see J. H. Pharmacy, florist. Rocky weddings or Tacker. Lake agent for Knull, Tampa 2475 Alonzo Logan B drd S i P ey your building, SEE TELEPHONE g6 {m(liplll‘ 0’:]‘”” ‘ Office Phone B. H. Belisario Wh ¢ 347 Black Home Phone 394 B y Our Sldewalks Are the Best - Best Pre sséd Brick $11, 06 ]D:i?:::;ad. - lakeland Pavmg&ConstructionCo. : ? -\‘cff‘;nllc,",ti's.?"d and Rouk For Sale FURNISHINGS {F YOU HAVE NEVER BOUGHT YOUR FURNISH. . AND HfiTS FROM US GIVE US YOUR ITH YOU THE RE BUSE caR RIGHT SORT OF STUFF: WE ERYTHING WE SELL AND OUR PRICE IS AS LOW AS GOOD STUFF CAN BE BOUGHT, Williamson-Moore Company “FASHION SHOP FOR MEN.” \ Residents Must Learn the Import- given by a resident Price 50 | Francisco and San Diego Bay dis-| LOGAN & TOWNSEND BUILDING CONTRACTORS We Furnish Surety Bonds On All Contracts If you want a ¢ 4 areful, consis g reliable estimate on t o o NOTICE This is to notify the public tha the three local banks will close at 12 o'clock every Thursday beginning May 14, 1914, until further notice. STATE BANK. AMERICAN STATE BANK, FIRST NATIONAL BANK. 9rng «dh Embroidery Flouncing 97 Orange | 1 ¢ YT suf- |Greatly This is an opportu- nity to buy seasona ble merchandise at less than cost of pro- duction. | 30c per yd. quality 39¢ [l 75¢ per yd. quality 49¢ || $1.50 and $1.75 per vard quality . . $1.19 Many other bargains. Come in and see. | J. W. CHILES | & SONS | | | ) | | | | | | J. F. Townsend o e B AT e e he construction of US IMMEDIATELY. Futch & Gentry Bldg. I..mel and F - w e