Lakeland Evening Telegram Newspaper, January 17, 1914, Page 8

Lapas i it ot 2 2Rl 2 2 E T Ty Starttheyear’sworkright : with the right materlals and make things easy for yourself We Sell Office Supplies If your work demands something special we will get it for you The Lakeland Book Store Benford & Steitz PEPEPPEP IS PP ‘Everything e IN BUILDERS’ ardware It is most important to select the best hardware for that new home er building. That brings you here, for we make a point of carrying noth- ing but the best builder’s hard- ware that adds not only to . the b-auty of a building, but to its selling velue as well, Tbe sash and door locks, hinges, etc., are a very small part of a building, but will re- pay mary times for the cost and trouble of proper selection. We are prepared to name interesting prices on tke com=- plete hardware for any style of building from the humble cot- tage to the largest office build- ing. Yes, Sirl We also sell the best building tools--all moder- ately priced. WILSON HARDWARE CO. Phone TI Opposite Depot Mann Plumbingco BGSI Place work Now Under )’OIIIr; 0?:“0' and Glenada Hotel and l()west Pine Street Avoid Prices the Rush All Work Guaranteed First Class in Every Respect. Estimates Will Be Furnished op Short Notice, Office Phone 257 Residence Phone 274 Red IF YOU: ARE= IN THE MARKLT For Tin, Sheet Iron, Copper. Zinc or any kind of Roofing Work, call the LAKELAND SHEET METAL WORKS 212 South Florida Ave. Ask for J. P, CARTIN We can fix that leaky roof OurjMotto is. Modest Prices and All Work Guaranteed. Pldeffd i g | THE EVENING TELEGRAM LAK ELAND, FLA., JAN. 1 | | By CLYDE PARSONS. It every man, old or young, has a fad—and we know he has; if every | Woman, old or young, has a fad— and we know she has—why blame | Miss Nora Lee for having one, too? It | wasn't a great big fad, and one to | | keep the police busy and the babies ion the block awake o' nights, but a reasonable fad, and was not seriously | objected to even by people with a grouch. Miss Nora was not a moving picture 'flend; she did not 80 to ball games more than twice in a season; she did not attend the races at all. Her fad was—cats—dogs, rabbits? Not at all! She lavished her affections on a goat, and he wasn't anything of a beauty at that. In fact, he was a scrub goat. He was built on the lines of a saw-buck. He was homely from the tip of his nose to the tip of his tail. He remained gaunt despite the food set before him. He evinced no gratitude for her love and care, and he wasn’t a bit proud when he was led along the street with yards of blue ribbon streaming in the breeze and a silver bell around his neck. Mistress and goat were bound to at- tract attention when they walked out. Adults stared, small boys indulged in levity, and dogs seemed to have a longing to try conclusions with “Billy.” However, a fad wouldn't be much of a fad unless it attracted atten- tlon, and while Miss Nora tried to look calm and unconscious, there s no ] | — she caught such remarks as: “Did you ever!” “Can you beat it!” “Why don't she love a hippo!” “Hasn't she a father or a mother?™ “A hobble skirt and a pet goat— thunder!” Miss Nora's father was dead, and her mother’s objections to her fad car- ried no weight. “Does Billie bite any one?” daughter would ask. “Of course not.” “Does he bark and disturb us?” “No.” “Does he cost any more to keep than a dog?" “I guess not.” “He isn't handsome, but {sn't he bet- ter looking than a bull dog?” “Y-e-8.” “Then what’s the matter with my keeping a goat?” “It's so unusual.” “Wasn't the split skirt unusual two years ago?” Living half a mile away was Mr. Burt Wiltshire. He had a fad. In- stead of leading a goat about the streets, he led a pig. It was a black pig with a red ribbon for a collar, It had been trained so it could be led like a dog. That pig was also an innovation as well as a fad. The police had tried to suppress it, but the courts had held that it had the same rights as a dog and was not half as dangerous. Like the goat, the pig attracted much attention when out for an air ing, and like Miss Nora the young man at the other end of the lead re- celved such expressions from the pub- lic as: “Is he an escaped idiot?” “Does he belong to a side-show?” “Can the pig tell fortunes with cards?” It might have ben figured out by a mathematician that there was just one chance in ten thousand that the girl and her goat and the young man and his pig would ever meet on the street in a head-on collision. That one chance came to them. It was so willed by the Destiny that shapes our ends. At nine o'clock one morning Miss Nora and her goat were taking & promenade for their health and oth- er reasons. There was an abandon about them that was charming, That Is. they occupled most of the sidewalk, and their motto was, the pudlic be hanged. At the same hour Mr. Burt Wilt- shire and his educated black pig set the i i “Where'd he get the pig!” “That's the latest thing at New port!” “Oh, Lord, what things we do see in a town!” As the public exclaimed the human and animal objects gradually ap- proached each other. ' They finally met. There was no i jim dandy goat and the educated pig bumped against each other. “Sir!” demanded the girl. “Miss!"” replied the man. “You have got a nasty pig there!™ “And you have a villain of a goat!" “Don’t you dare let your plg—!” “And your goat—!” It was too late. No work on natur al history—no writer on heart throbs in the yellow journals, has told us that when a pig and a goat meet there must be a deadly conflict, but a rec ord has been made with this story. ! The goat was the attacker but the pig ' stood to his guns. The goat used his | horns and hoofs; the pig used his snout and teeth | “Call your pig off!” ; “Call your goat off!” t! % | 0000000000000000000000000C HER FAD--AND. HS / doubt that she felt glows of pride as | Putcher: time in history, this sorry pass in matters of recreation. ous. for their stroll. They had here Learn Wisdom From the Savages. tofore taken ore i riicnlar direction. A lay sermon by William Allen This morning 1€ tcok a new route. | White: “A young cub, who has fifty Destiny would iav» it 3o, thousand a y is in trouble in N(-{\- “Get on to the goat!” York—young Ilady trouble. Which jg natural enough fifty thousand Work is the thing straight; that cures youth of its pendous folly. fitty thousand a ye no more chance of bein record in sacred or profane history to | a monkey. In Scuth Africa, in the g0 by—no society rule laid down in interior, the native custom provideg the blue or red book. Therefore the that all the y bed at dusk in tree houses re by ladders, and the smart oldq come and take the ladders down, give a young man 35 let him sit up nights access to the ladder Place sure can savages know more of | we do? her milk twice a day.” n 7, 1914. the girl and to the young man. I gave advice to the goat and to th I him there until life was extinct. | finish of it. but supreme indignation as called upon to express himself: love with that girl some day! she would turn him down!” And it happened. old second hand hats in Boston. but they are bound to be abandoned for something else. Miss Nora Lee got home from the scene of that tragedy disgusted with her goat and herself. It wasn't the same goat with which she so blithely set out an hour before, and she wasn't the same girl. She found her- self hoping that the goat would jump the fence and take himself off to be seen by her no more. Then she would buy a parrot or a tame crow, or a squirrel with a wheel in his cage. She might even turn to a French bull- dog or an alligator from Florida. And Mr. Burt Wiltshire reached home to telephone to the nearest “Say, now, do you want to buy a pig?” “Yep. Got one for sale?” “I have.” “How much?” “If you take him away at once you can have nim for two dollars.” “All right—he's mine.” Mr. Wiltshire also determined to drop his pig-fad for another. It might be for a donkey or a camel—he would think it over. And one day two weeks later the girl without the goat and the young man without a plg met face to face on the street. Each wavered. Each halted Each blushed and was con- fused. “—I want to beg your pardon!” he finally managed to say. “And I want to beg yours,” was the reply. “It was all my pig's fault.” “I believe my goat began the row.” “It was so sudden that—that—" “The same with me.” “I have sold the pig.” “And my goat has got away, and I don’t want him back.” And then and there came a new fad for each one. It was interest in a human being of the opposite sex. (Copyright, 1913, by the McClure News- paper Syndicate,) Songs of Today. Where is the present-day “popular song” that may be compared with “Annfe Laurie,” or “My Old Kentucky Home,” or “Sally in Our Alley?" Nay, where is the present-day popular song that has more than an off chance of being remembered or sung a single year hence, let alone remaining a fa. vorite for a generation? Nowhere, In songs, as in so many other mat- ters, the one desire Jjust at present is to get the azpplause—and dollars—ot the moment. If a “bearcat” dance or a sloppily sentimental ballad attracts attention to itself and income to its Inventor, nothing more is asked or expected. So of “cubist art,” which is merely lunacy on canvas; so of ten- derloin plays. The one thing required Is not that they shall be true, or beay- | tiful, or thoughtful, or enduring; but that they shall make money. It ig | strange that an age like the present, | which has so many superb arhh’\'n-‘ ments to its credit, and which is more deeply imbued with the sense of huy- man brotherhood than any preceding should have come to Any youth who has a year to spend is go. t into trouble spending it, that keeps Youth work is the one medicine vast and sty. UNg man hag ar to spend, he hag g decent thap ng to ge If a yo oung negroes shal) £0 to ached men But 10,000 to spend, - and give, hipy at all hoirg of he night, and he will go to the Baq Can it be that ‘he Atri. life thap e AL The Oldest Separator, ‘I see you keep a cow> “Yep.” “Got a separator”™ “Yep.” ‘What make?" “I'm it. "I separate the cow from —— “Your pig began the fuss!® Mind the Vidders, Sammy u " , ! Your goat began it! ” Old Sage--Look out for the wig, “You are no gentleman! my boy - “You are a nice young lady!™ Young Sni : . g Snip—1I shall certainly ¢, A crowd gathered. That crowd avold having one of my owp, .rly'm ;made remarks. It made remarks to pig. It advised the goat to pin the pis to the fence with his horns and hol advised the pig to remember l!un}(er Hill and go in and make a whirlwind Not until the police came did eaqh owner gather up the remains of his { animal and quit the scene of the com- ‘ i bat. Their glances expressed nothing they turned away. It was so plain that they | wished each other destruction in some { awful form that a chauffeur who had stoped to witness the affair while the meter went right on recording, felt “Gee! but ’sposen he should fall in How It was bouqd to happen. Destiny wouldn't have missed such a golden opportunity for all th: fad is acquired as easily as a cold in the head. 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AVE ard Main ST, LAKELAND mmmnm“ It you want to buy 0 sell Property we out your Iist anq se PHONE 340