Lakeland Evening Telegram Newspaper, May 6, 1912, Page 2

LS o PECULIAR PRAYER TO COURT. | © Errer of Stenographer Responsibls for a Few More Gray Hairs in Head of Lawyer. Hiving the Bees By Clara lnez Deacon I hey say that a lawyer has been «ased by his stenographer,” said an| attorney, at a recent lecture, 00 ~ true, undoubtedly, because a law- “That } (Copyright, 1912, 2:« s::mcuted Literary When the widow Skinner sold her om and talk. time, and I'm golng to takes my farm.” One day urmelr ized to call on fizmmd potify her to cut down 8 tree which was a menace to his I::fl; It was a warm June day. The W l‘:: . had two hives of bees, one of wh . had already swarmed that day an been hived, and the other Was getting v+ r = stenographer, who is observing, farm on the High Hill road and dow sat on her back gets mary poiuts of law out of her| po one another in the Red Bridge | ready ?Q '{yhen;: waiting, and & tin work | nelghborhood she became the Bearest ;'aenp';o dfum on by her side. The #8941 there is another side to it| neighbor of farmer Roberts, widower. widower advanced, paper in hand and ‘% .1 must be overlooked, and that is i+« mostakes that a lawyer's stenog- makes. The law terms are tr o al that it is mot within expect the stenographer to | criothing exactly right, the most amusing errors r heard of in con- errors, if —— neighborly friendliness. e of stonographic f alleged cruel and in- . o women With 8ll | o of tabing the sonsthle way they . - ws, praved avolded it rary alimony and “What | want her to understand,” raver was dictated o4 the farmer to a friend, “is that and she wrote I' 1 8f any of her bogs git into my ‘tater ? 10 the rourt Seld | sh'an’t epare her ‘cause she is ward the lawyver © Woman” i il B i Of course the widow heard of the threat, and she wouldn't have been a tenographer b..-: freeborn American woman If sbe alimony and badat amewered back. ' went news can always be s . ms Nows Stand, where th, wepape s and periodicals are on sale promptly - &' Good Views! including Lake- siso in stock 1» club as well as & man. B fa wenery et ard are both farme. No Blues! smoke the splendid lakcland and Tampe moking tobacco also. Come, Choose! 4 sock, anything you » my line You will not sppmted in quality or price Miss Ruby Daniel News Swand whiby of Edisouia Theater. acting as pllot. The body was tozsed back on the widow's land with a grin of eatisfaction. Bhe discovered ft, and a day or two later the widower's biggest and favorite rooster lost his e while exploring a strange barn- yard » W - artied Ma. Things ltke these do not pass in the ecountry without belng commented on. A minister In the village three miles ovay heard of them and drove out to talk of peace on earth and good will to men, but he rather muddled fin- stead of belping things. “Am | going to take bis sass just bocause I'm a woman!” demanded the widow. “No, sir! He begun this ‘ere fuss, and be's got to come to me and say he's sorry before I'll stop!” “You see,” sald the widower when it came bhis turn to talk, “she never asked me a question when she came to buy that farm. Just went right abead ae if she's bought a farm every week In the year. If she'd been the right kind of a woman she'd bave come t0 me for advice. | never knuckled down to any woman yet, and I'm not going to begin now.” Of course, things could not go on long without legal trouble The widower picked some goose- berries over the widow's line, and she sauntered out that way and called him & thief. This epithet, being over- heard by a third party, constituted defamation of character, and suit was brought. While the law was delaying the case to let it get icecold, the widow helped hersel! to pears from a tree clearly the property of the wid- ower . He was on the watch for overt acts and called her a robber. The epithet was not overheard by a thirq + - my a - E L Why Not Smoke the BEST man made many gestures with his baads ae he talked. The minister drove out from the vii lage again. This time he took an. with: Mrs. Skinner, you are a lone wom- “But nobody can scare me!"™ was ber prompt reply. “Hold right on, Mr. Taylor!™ ane interrupted. For Sale at All Stands breath. A widow don't have to marry some old poke of & man to keep her rights.” Upheistering and Mattress Making be s0 happy.” “Yes, the farms adjoin, bdut widow and widower don't speak never willl® and L1 MATTRESSES made over. 1 RNITURE REPAIRED. “.?;,:.'. coulls g CETTSHIONS of all kinds made to| man who thinks he der. 's the sort of a Can boss the earth, and I'm the sort of g w, who can be coaxed dut not be arfy.” “Maybe Providence will come to! the rescue,” sighed the good man ag he turned away. ' “Mebbe She will, parson. regards to workmanship, see| 800t therell de T W. P Pillins of Lakeland, who - g C"ARPETS ad RUGS cleaned and id. also matting, etc. MIRRORS reeilvered a specialty. in It She about sixteen more s mn':m over with ~ . Roberts pro = me for about 16 years at Or-| porn. . e do. Fla Drop me a postal card| “Parson, it hatn't tat I'm mean o | Phome €4 Red, No. 411 S. Ohio| 80t 1o my ways” be explained, by vemue » thdhhvoMlonllm: roughsbod.” .- i Why they took an aversion to each | other at first sight neither of them | | was where there should have been Farmer Roberts made up his mind ! in & day, almost, that he should neith- | er borrow nor lend any tools or im- | plements of any sort The widow made up her mind just as quickly that | she wouldn't be friends with a man at ourred In A T ypg threw stomes at her geese the .« of ¢ other day. T he| yqry firgt day she moved in. ad action, in which There was the widower who needed A wife, and there was the widow who pa— ! would bave been much better off with & husband to manage things, and 1n- There was a creek flowing through One day the widow's ducks took a voyage of discovery up- stream. Parmer Roberts walted until they reached his line and he wrung the neck of the old drake who was other tack. He began on the widow ! “1 know how 1t woulq | Seem to you, but you can save your | soon "“The farms adjoln, and you coulq | somethi like a grin on his face. lfem wun‘nbout to be told to skate right off that farm when the bees be- gan pouring out of the hive that had been waiting. Before the paper could be presented or the widow beat her pan, the insects began alighting on the farmer's shoulders. He had kept bees in nls day, and he knew tbat to rush at them or run away would bring about a painful calamity. The woman retreated a few feet, and in ten min- utes the hive was empty and every bee clinging to the man. He stood not daring to more than wink an eye. Then the woman sat down on the doorsteps and began: “Wring my drake's neck, will you! Steal my gooseberries, will you! Try to rob me of two feet of land the whole length of my farm, would you! Sue me bLecause you hain't man enough to fight fair! You are in & nice fix, you are!” “Widow, isn't there any way | can get thece bees off me?” carefully asked the man. “You can scrape ‘em off!" “] wish you would run for help.” “I'll do nothing of the sort!” “But | can't stand the strain for long.” “Then sit down to it! [ didn’t ask you to come over here. What's that paper about? “It's a notice that you must cut down that tree by my barn.” “Ob, it is! Making me more trouv- ble, are you? Well, I'll cut it down after the bees get through with you. I'm going into the house now to read the newspaper for a spell.” She bad been gone twenty minutes when she heard the widower calling. As she appeared In the door he sald: “l shall drop dead in five minutes more'” “I dou't think so,” she replied, “Mr. Roberts, | hain’t mad at you—real mad.” “Nor | at you." “It's jest that we kinder misunder- stood.” “I'm a hard and willing worker, and you are the same.” “Yoo." could explain, but an aversion there are you." “Jest 00." “And—and—? and then seid: and we'll be married next week!” Subtle Aroma In the Front Mall and Conversation Over Telephone Allke Proclaim It. Mr. Duff fs the tenant of the second floor front. His wife has been away. Mr. Duff himself may be encountered about in the balls. He s a large man with a considerable girth and a face that one knows to be youthful for his age; he cannot be under thirty. Recently the second floor hall be came fragrant with the odor of per fume. Mrs. Duff, presumably, had re- turned. Yes, Mrs. Duff was at the telephone. She calls, “Hello!” very sweetly, in two syllables. Mr. Duff’s first name, it appears, is Walter, pro- nounced by his doting wife also in two syllables, “Walter” Mrs. Duft bleats, it seems, In two syllables. Mr. Duff's middle name evidently {s “Hon-ey.” Mrs. Duft sald over the telephome that she “had been daad.” She sald it oh, so sweetly. She had, she sald, taken a little walk and had stayed “too long” and she had been away when he had called her up. But ghe { bad had the “Dest little time.” She ,was golng to work now, “oh! go harsd.” She was going to clean out {the bureau drawers and “that lttle boz,” and unpack her trunk ang put away ber things. No, she would be careful not to overwork herself. She would see him, Walter Honey Duft, when he came home from work, “Good- bye, little boy,” she said. | Then she called up a creamery. 8he | wanted the creamery to send her, ;Nm:m::mllkmmlm est jar it cream ch Al eese. How Ob-h! mot till then? posed she would have to wait { The second floor hall with the odor of perfume. —\ is fragrant | \he| Men Should Live Ninety.-Thres Years. Dr. W. J. Howells, E142¢ Tenth ay. “1t you and Mr. Roberts would g | U Mmedical expert and former gy. perintendent of the insane hospital at Medical Lake, believes in the the ory of the eminent Chinese gtat I».Wnflummm.mu" vt?r-‘ laces u.hn ! = D mit at pip, years, while Doctor Howellg ?.fi: that elghty-five years would be ng yp. Roberts was legally the widow Skin-/ #4E EVENING TELEGRAM LAK ELAND, FLA., MAY §, 1912. - . It won't do no good to EO 'Just 0. She's got to be brun 10 do it it 1t | | I “I'm all alone In the world, and #0 | { The widower waited a long minute | ¢ “Scrape ‘em off and bive ‘em up |0 WHEN MRS. DUFF IS AT HOME |§ FOR SALE City, Suburban and Country Properties, Homes, Groves, Farms at Real Values Flood & Hendrix, Owners L. B. WEEKS —DEALER IN— Staple and Fancy Groceries, Hay, Grain and Feedstuffs PHONE 119 Cowdery Building -, WITH W00D'S MEAT MARKET lOlh.Bmhwdfiftmd--- eesesesnsness 110 1-2 bbl Flourin Wood .........covvervmmommersssssssanns 300 12108ack FIOUP .......ovvveevecnscsscesnsoscscscsesass 40 3 Cans Extra Large Cream............ccoooevvveeenenns. 28 3 Cans Tomatoes ............... i e R AR PR A RS 11b. BestButter .............c..0t S O e ) Stafolife, per SacK......cn.0e coiviiiiiieeriiinaieeinenes L78 Hay No. 1, per 100 )bs....... .......coovvvevnenneinee.. 180 Chicken Feed, per Sack...... ......ccoovivvienniiennees 15 Oats, per Sack ...........000000nnn bk Y Shorts, per Sack ............ ....ovinn M e L Timber, Turpentine, Cut-over F OR SAL Lands, Choice Colinization 3 Tracts at Low Prices, Florida Homes and Groves on High 3 Rolling Land, Situated on Beautiful Lakes, Paying Straw- 3 beary and Trucking Farms. Weguarantee all property just g as represented by us, For reliable information see g § Affield MONEY THAT GOES UP IN SMOKE is well expended it it is spent for Inman Blunt cigars. For they cer- tainly afford much more solid enjoy- rent and comfort than their price represents. Try an Inman Blunt to- v - ;" day. You'll never regret the 5 cents I fi\’ you pay for it. ‘_;_v % 24 : Manufactured by Phone l CI I: keland 233hea_INMAN_ Clgar Factory i Job Printin WIN ) > newspaper and;,pubhshmgtbusiness, itghas been necessary to|move The NewsTJob Office up-stairs,wherefit willjbe found in} Rooms 11 and 12, KentuckyY Building, in the com. petent charge of Mr. G.J. Williams, For anythingthat can be printed, if you want the best work at the right prices, call on MrWilliams. E% The News Job Office Tf'hmllflll(tmh)mk,m —— — AR R I P S