Lakeland Evening Telegram Newspaper, February 20, 1912, Page 6

PAGE SIX Y4E LVENING [ELEGRAM LAKELAND, FLA., FEBRUARY 20, 1912 | —‘|{ | , ? iThe Peeved | Bill Clerk “We've got a new boarder at the aouse,” said the bill clerk, as he dex- | :erously trundled his stool into posi- |:ion and perched himself. “His name 's Timothy Hayseed, and he's from Squash Center. He'd have stayed there, but the cows were always mis- taking him for something to eat and he got bitten up quite badly.” “How {nteresting.” remarked the cashier. “A very odd name, Isn't it?” “Well, T won't say that's his sure- [ snough mame,” the bill clerk kindly ! oxplained. “But it ought to be. He's the worst jay vou ever saw. He's got | { freckles all over his nose and—here's l (he joke: “At Lreakfast he asked the landlady for another plate of cakes. And when ghe asked him if he would- hana .somed ay to make room for him here. “Did the old lady throw the coffee pot at his head?” asked the cashier. “She ought to have,” replied the bill clerk, with a grin. “It's a wonder she didn't.” “She didn't then?” “Of course, she didn't,” sald the bill clerk. “You don't mean to say that he got his plate of cakes and his steak?” de- manded the cashier. “Surely not?” “Of course, he did,” answered the bill clerk. “Did you suppose she'd tell him he'd had all she could afford to give him? What kind of a jolnt do you think it is?” “Well, well,” sald the cashier. “No doubt it would be rather remarkable it the good woman objected to supply ing more food than this rustic per son paid for.” “Oh, I guess he didn’t get any more than he paid for, if you come to that,” sald the bill clerk. “The strange thing was that the young man should ask for what he wanted then?” queried the cashier. “Is that it, Johnny?” “It you knew the old lady, you'd think it was,” said the bill clerk. “And he got the cakes—and the steak,” sald the cashier. “He certain- ly must be a blockhead. Ir he'd kept still he'd have had the pleasure of leaving the table hunmgry, in all probability. “It's to be hoped he will learn; if he doesn't, it's hard to predict what will become of him. “To begin with, he’ll go around ask- ing for a job, I suppose, and he'll keep on asking until he gets it, in- stead of politely walting for the job fo come to him. It's quite evident that he hasn’t any delicacy whatever. Think of a young man—with freckles on his nose, too!—asking busy people to give him work, just because he happens to want it. Shamefud!” “Well, if you think it’s all right to put your feet in the trough, you can,” muttered the bill clerk. “I'm not sure that it isn't all right, it you happen to be a hog and your assoclates are hoggish,” said the cash: fer. “I'm not casting any reflections on your boarding house,” he continued. “I merely want to call your attention to the fact that this is a cold, cruel world. It fsn’t enough to look hun- gry; you've got to holler for grub, and that in no uncertain tone. If you do that it's a hundred to one that you'll get it.” “Your friend, Mr. Timothy Hayseed, is making a pretty good beginning, it you ask me. When he gets his job, he'll ask about anything he wants to know and then he’ll ask for a raise of salary.” “That’s all the good it would do him 1t he worked here,” remarked the bill clerk. | “You can't ever until you try,” sald| the cashier. “After he’s got most o!] | the knowledge regarding the busi-| i mess,” he conmtinued, “he’ll ask for a| | partnership, and he'll naturally get_ | that. “In course of time he'll ask the! ‘other members of the firm to reure.l | and they will gracefully skidoo l(‘ »lhey don’t, he'll scoop in a majority | of the stock and kick ‘em out. “Having accomplished this, he’ll ask ’ SAVE and GET AHEAD. Ii you do, one year from today you wi will ; amount to over ELEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS in 10 years. FIRST NATIONAL BANK l | thank us. | Saving only 25 cents a day—$7.50 a month—and interest will il ---Special--- HAM SALE! 19¢ 18c 18c Country Cured Hams, Ib ‘ Supreme Hams, Ib . ' Star Hams, Ib A - . Breakfast Bacon, All Prices C><)» W.P. PILLANS & CO0. THE PURE FOOD STORE NOW OPEN SANITARY PLUMBING INSTITUTION Plumbing, Low Pressure Steam and Hot Water Heating, All Kinds of Pipe Fittings and Sewer- age Work Furnished and Iustalled by Practical Experienced Mechanics. All jobbing appre- ciated. Neat and Prompt Service and Guaran- teed. Phone 298 Oftice and Show Rooms With the Fiorida Electric & Machinery Co., Drane Building W. E. O’'NEILL Plumber and Sanitary Engineer Lakeland, . . Florida Honest! | * n't like anything more—sarcastie, you | ) . Are you satisfed with your NET RESULTS of last year? Unkept i know—he says, ‘I believe I'll have an- | " - A ; ou determi do will build other piece of steak, please.’ Just that resolutions weaken you; DOING what you determine to do will build & /v " \nq ne'd jabbed two pieces your character. Bring the money you have in your pocket to our B when the dish went around. He's bank RIGHT NOW, and begin the year sensibly by starting to ,’“’” ing for a job. I think we ought be the head of & trust is to ask for Wmmmm OFOFOPOEOPOBOIO Lakeland Artificial Stone Work Near Electric Light Plant MAKES RED CEMENT PRESSED BRI('K CALL AND SEE THEM. CAN SAVE YOU MONEY <K | Crushed Rock, Sand and Cement for Sale j J another plate of buckwheat cakes when you are a young man. Is that 3 g “You're putting it the wrong way, Johnny,” answered the cashier. “Not every young man who asks for a sec- ond helping will arrive at the emi- pence that I speak of, but it you take potice you will find that there is mo trust magnate who is congenitally bashful about asking for anything that he thinks he wants.” “I was under the impression that they took what they wanted without asking,” said the bill clerk. e ————— Prescriptions of Time of Sardanapa- | SODOOV lus, 650 B. C.—Faith Healing Practiced. . The patient work of the archaelo- gizt enabled people in 1911 to form a very fair idea of medical science as it evisted in Nineveh 650 years before | the birth of Christ. Of the 20,000 tablets taken from the | library of Assurbanipal, the z'mt %i 2 \rlx who conquered Ez) in the m serted ef s exelusively with med serip deal 11 contain numerous pre up snd pour over him a decoetion of | hyperieum and he will recover, Or wake him ecrouch down on his hecls and pour cold water over his head. Faith healing seems to be indicated in a prescription which runs, “If he is in a weak state, make him bend down, then raize his legs, and say: ‘May you get quite well’ Strike him also on the head 14 times with your thumb.” Many prescriptions deal with the cure of a disorder which was very common at Nineveh, and which seems to have been due to overindulgence in food and drink: “When a man s billous rub him with an onlon, and let him drink nothing but water and ab- stain from food altogether.” Among the medicines used by the physiclans at Nineveh were sesame, olive oll, castor oll, syrup of dates, honey and salt. Fasting and massage were frequently ordered.—New York Sun, Mre. Harriman Economist. Mrs. Mary Harriman, widow of B. H. Harriman, rallroad financier, used to boast when her husband was alive she saved several hundred dollars a month out of the housekeeping allow- ance made to her. She is a shrewd, economical housekeeper, and her ex- ample is being followed by other wealthy women Jet on White Gowns. Such things as touches of jet on white are fashionable. A white satin dress is embroldered with jet and fin- {shed with large jet buttons. This soft satin is greatly used for coats and skirts, as well as for little frocks, its supple beauty and ite marvels in soft coloring lending themselves pecullarly well for the styles of the coming win. Useless to Try. - You can't make a woman whose nose turns up believe that the Greclan type of facial architecture is aristo- cratic. Somewhat Mixed. “Something wrong with this item.” “How now?" “Says the bridegroom took his place beneath the floral bell and 2,000 volts were immediately shot through his quivering frame.”—Wash- ington Herald. How Virginia Town Got Its Name. Front Royal is the name of a town in Warren county, Va. At first it bore the title “Royal Oak,” because of an immense tree upon its com- mone, One day the colonel of militia became confused while drilling his troops and gave his regiment the queer command, “Front the Royal!” Such is the origin of the modern name given In a bulletin of the geological survey. Eskimo Wife Ugeful. Eskimo widowers often marry agaln within a week after the demise of the wife. The helpmate of the savage does most of the work, and he is al- | most helpless without her. She makes and break camp, cooks, cuts up her husband’s kill and carries it to camp. She dresses the skins of deer and seal. She makes the footgear and clothes, paddies the canoe and carries every burden. Without her no domes- the principal firms in the same line of | tic arrangement can go forward. + Knew What He Wanted. A certain small Chieago boy perpet .| ually begged for coffee, and an elder ly triend advised his reluctant mother a man has colle make him stand | 5 E HO0O0GI0I00000O0OD 000 2 Maps of any description compiled on short given to compiling city, display and advertising maps. % - maps kept on hand. Chemically prepared, non-fading o:u* : sonable rates. Special rates for prints in large quantit:= Phone 33 Red BUILDING BLOCKS OF ALL DESCRIPTIONS 12 and 18 inch Drain Tile for Sidewalk, Gate Posts, Flower Mounds, Etc. Good Stock on Hand H. B. ZIMMERMAN. Proorictor. MEDICAL SCIENCE IN NINEVEH OO OHOHOEOPCHOTO: P ’w(;r e as represented by us, Othger Opposite New Depot, Visil The florida Ilinhlands Co’s lands al Bundee Trainleaves Lakeland at 7:10 a. m., Monday, Wednesday and In 10,000 acres of choice fruit lands to select from. Located ‘mid Florida's Highland Lakes, in Polk County. Countless sparkling spring-fed lakes, altitude 240 feet pure, soft water, good transportation. Follow the lead of the Glen 8t. Mary Nurseries Co., purchase of 800 acres at Dundee is an endorsement hard to beat. Town lots, beautiful Lake Front Villa Lots unsurpassed. DUNDEE IS FAVORABLY COMMENTED UPON EVERYWHERE. Come and wt us. Good Camp accommodations. Hotel will soon be built. Lakeland Representatives: OHLINGER & ALFIELD For printed matter and plats address our Lakeland agents. of W. W. Shepard, Secretary Florida Highlands (s, Winter Haven. Florida Aot Clough Shoe Company W. M. CLOUGH, *The Shoe Man Sppe———— MAPS, BLUE PRINTS Prompt attention given mail orders. i South Florida Map and Blueprin (» lu-m-mmunn Lands, Tracts at Low Prices, Florida Homes and Grovos Rolling Land, Situated on Beautiful Lakes, Payiro ~ Timber, Turpentine, (s g v ¢ ° 2 beary and Trucking Farms. { Weguarantee all oo For reliable information ~ Inman Cigar Factory “: Come and See Our Sprins T e R l PATRICIAN SHOES (& 2] WE Deliver Free of Charge Choice (il 2 b4 LAKELAND, 2 G Fine soil; whose récent Opposite Depot Women Love The Smoke of an Elko cigar. | LT8R and delicate that mu F 1 o dislike the smell of oruin. ane they emjoy the olor ! ! cigar, Try one toli You can enjoy it in | that you'll not b» & even to get out of ’ the house. Manufact stvle v For Ladies notice.