The Key West Citizen Newspaper, August 1, 1951, Page 9

The 'BARNEY GOOGLE AND Southernmost Corner By Charles Duerkes Up at the University of Chicago they do not piay football but have earned some sort of an All American rating on the gridirons er, In fact the Uni- go has been able to get almost as much publicity by not having its young men boot @ Pigskin around and about as it would if it turned out a team that eould play in the Rese Bowl. The U. of C. has pretty weil established the amazing fact that @ young person con sop up quite) @n education in the halls of learn- ing without the help of a football Coaching staff and helpful train-} ese ; This system also prevents, to Some extent, broken noses, black eyes, loose teeth and trick knees. One of the campus heroes is a/| Professor instead of a four letter} student. He is Dr. Mortimer J. Adler ,a good looking fellow who) |? smokes a pipe and is dubbed the “Great Bookie” as he is a most} |” highly regarded expert when it} f comes to great books. i" Recently he went to work on||, the old Darwinian theory and! |} tore it into shreds. It took him an/| hour to make so much confetti/ out.of the theory that our ances. tors were apes. He proclaimed | that the mising link is a.myth. Dr.} Adier let it be known that as far @s_@pes are concerned we just cannot claim them as relatives of| ours. | The students pelted him with} questions in the discussion period after “his speech and beside that} session a football rally would) have to pale into insignificance.| ETTA He kept proving his points under} fire. | “Sometimes the difference be-| twen a child and a pig is not! very noticeable,” he said,“ but the child grows up to be 2 man; and the pig seldom does.” | Well, the good Doctor’s speech get hoised abroad and most peo- ple are inclined to agree with) Of course there are still citizens | who will go all out on claiming | that we are descended from} monkeys, or apes.1 do not know) how the apes feel about this as I have never been on speaking terms with any, but I do not feel that they cotton to the theory | @nmy more than I do. Or Dr. Ad- ler, Maybe the reason monkeys like -to throw coconuts at people is because they have been irked —__ by, the coi riso! Abel an any | j Tit Se monkey 1 ever met, even though there may be! monkeys better looking than me T°am of another breed. And if| anybody is any relation to any| monkey then it is a cinch that) that person is no relation of mine: At any rate it is nice to know that the University of Chicago is| keeping in the limelight. | Another of my favorite institu-| tions of higher learning is meth. | ical Ivy College. Mr. Ronald} Coleman is president. You see, | r, ‘pt Ivy’, one of the few ra-/ dio stiows today that is slanted at | “Pedpté With better than a twelve| year old mental capacity, stars | Mr. and Mrs. Coleman as Presi-| dent Hall and his wife, Mrs. Hall. It is an extremely well written half hour, crammed with intelli- gent humor, good grammar and} splendid food for thought. It is sponsored by a beer com- pany. I guess radio bigwigs final- ly: have realized that it is unlaw-| ~ ful to ‘sell beer to twelve year old listeners. A few weeks ago the plot foam ed politely around the unveiling | of a new theological building on | Ivy's campus. The architect was) a young lady weil liked by the Halls. But she had sneaked in an) inscription, chiselled in stone above the entrance, which threw | the board of directors and the} faculty in an uproar. At the un-| veiling the startled throng read | these words, above the main en-} trance: | “The Eleventh Commandmen With Coleman's subtle assist-) ance, all concerned were forced | to. turn te their Bibles to solve | the puzzle these words prsented. | It resulted in a boom in the Bi-| ble sales. The Eleventh Commandment has long ben @ pet topic of mine In the radio show the young ledy | refused to explain her caper, in- sisting that it was something | i | | j ANOTHER OUTBUST OF TEMPER LIKE THAT, “2 I PERVIDED MISTOFER WINTON, y ME ANT t | GO Awity WISTEAD OF it | STAVIN' HOME ON MY TURN OUT O-KAy people should find out for them- | selves. Well, cousins, there IS an elev-/ exth commandment, and I suggest i that you look it up. It is in the New Testament. Seaching for it} wil do you a world of good. If/ you cannot find it, consult your pastor. Or drop me @ line. _——$—— Interesting Notes The sturgeon sometimes grows | Jonger than 12 feet. | Morocco is @ monarchy and is also a French and Spanish asso- ciated state. The National Geographic Socl- | ety says U. S. auto license plates now are valid in many European countries under a United Nations TURKEY IN THE STR exes looks at the 27 ducklings A W — Turkey gobbler that sat for five that emerged in pens of C. V. Brandenburgh, Chapter 13 WH the screen door had banged shut behind Betsy, he | mo said, “She’s a wonderful little person, isn’t she?” “Betsy? Oh, Bets: el! kid —a little like an over-enthusias- tic puppy that insists on climbing up your t.ousers, even if his paws are mudd)!” “But now that she’s not a kidji,. oads any more, now that she’s quite grown up” Bethe | | bad out there in the Pacific, Bgl overw! | agains ee |man, but he did not By Peggy Gaddis and too stubborn—and too young —to ask for. When he it last, it was on a subject’ far re- , from what they had been discussing. suppose things were pretty said quietly. ni rel ‘Yet when you.come home, and seem hel “Oh. Betsy's not grown up. as sentence, “Wel from it!” protested Peter. “We! of course, I suppose she I'm efraid she'll always be an!, infant to me—the way she was when'T saw her last.” “Yes, of course. That's inevi- table.” For a moment the two men i possible sting. |that [ve travelled a i were silent.” The older man_ stirred and cleared his throat. He turned hi sightless. eyes upon Peter and asked curiously: Hartley spoke with gentleness that Tobbed of an: ible be sumptuous of me to offer you counsel, yet I'd feel I had “What had you planned to come | YOw da Beisy, as well—i home to, Peter, if things had gone | differently? Peter's jaw hardened, and there ‘as, for a moment, a taut, white “wbout tris thouthy. rag “Oh, the usual thing. I sup- 1 pose. A job I liked; perhaps 2 that I didn't. eg Pe first knew wife and children. What does any you, I suppose it's quite fellow my. age plan? professor, careful that there could be no. hint of idle curiosity in his_ voice.” “I was si Hing to be an archi- man denied his. eyesight could ever hope to be.” “That's too bad. But at least you can fulfil] the rest of your dream.” Peter's head jerked around. “You mean I can still hope to marry, have children? Good Lord, man, ate you insane?” he snapped. ‘Da you think I'd saddle any woman with the burden of a help- less husband?” 'HERE was e taut silence. The older man searched his mind |i for he could say that might 1 boy beside him. He knew how desperately Peter “What sort of job?” probed the | gether. What I meant that it’s. ire dark, ny ee if you face it Peter gave.» short, little laugh. Seg a Ny the few things no/| the di needed the help he was too proud | that I should jonely. Love is—well, love is it that ean o} in Which you jar are destined to travel. “No, thanks.” The old man sighed. The professor made a little ture of futility. “Porgi Peter,” he sa vg seemed presumptuous, Forgive an tgs mo concern.” “Sure. It's all igh said Peter bi ‘ had heard the