Grand Rapids Herald-Review Newspaper, February 1, 1908, Page 13

Here are a few suggestions: Stolen. A. robbery gave a men’s furnish- ings store an excellent opportunity for good advertising. The papers gave an account of the robbery, a column in length, including the names of the offenders. The fol- lowing day the store in question dis- played the stolen goods in their show window, placarded as follows: “This is the shirt Jno. Brown had on when arrested. He certainly picked a good one.” “The police caught Will Johnson with this straw hat on his head. Johnson knew where to find the best straw hats.” “These shoes carried Charlie Young in and out several alleys, before the police finally caught him. They are the celebrated easy-walking shoes.” The display attracted a great deal of talk, and brought good results, To encourage shopping in the early morning hours a fancy goods firm advertised each Sunday some special article to be sold at a bargain price every day that week before 12 o’clock. One week it was a china nut bowl, imported to sell at $1, for 29 cents, and again a $3 silk um- brella for $1.29. These goods are never on sale after 12 o’clock at these prices. A dry goods merchant in a West- ern town of about 50,000 inhabit- ants last spring adopted a rather unique method of getting customers into his store. Early one morning he called one of his most pleasant- voiced salesgirls into his office and asked her to sit down with the tele- phone directly before her, and be- ginning with letter “A”, to call up every woman on the line and tell her that Blank & Co. had just opened up and placed on display a lot of dress goods of origiial patterns and at tempting prices, that they should like to have her examine when she could find it convenient to call. Each lady was detained less than one minute at the telephone. And the invitation came so pleasantly and unexpectedly that it could not be re- sented. This merchant afterward declared it was one of the most suc- cessful sales he had ever held—and certainly the most cheaply adver- tised. A shoe dealer in Kentucky recent- ered a prize of a pair of two- ar shoes to the school boy or girl who wrote him the best testimonial of his shoes—the only condition be- ing that the writer, or one of his family, must have bought at some previous time a pair of shoes in this The offer ran six weeks and besides getting a number of catchy store. stories about his shoes, that he used as advertisements, the dealer sold a lot of footwear to those wish- ing to qualify. Consolation prizes, consisting of blotters, books, marks, etc., furnished by shoe manufactur- ers, were given to the unsuccessful contestants, and everybody was happy. The following show-card is dis- played in a Louisville, Ky., store window. Its ingenuity pleases every- body: If It Isn’t In sight It Is Inside. An enterprising baker got out a 16-page booklet, entitled ‘About Bread.” The contents were = ar- ranged in three chapters, as follows: Chapter I—The Bread of Early Days. Chapter II—The Bread of Other Days., Chapter III—Our Own Bread. The last chapter, of course, was devoted to advertising their own bread, and dealt with such points as quality, cleanliness, experience, vari- eties, delivery and terms. Advertise in the papers ‘“Some- thing New: An Average Sale.” Take, for instance, a number of articles worth $1.00, a number worth 75c, some worth 50c,-and so on down. Offer for a stated period anything in the lot at about 70c; then the balance for a time at say 68c, and so on, as you may see fit. If it goes you.can have a “Clear Weather Sale” of the odds and ends at an attractive figure. In every package that goes out from one jewelry store a little slip headed “What we can do for you,” is enclosed. This slip states that they can make pieces of silverware to match any desired piece, engrave wedding invitations, visiting cards, etc., sell the best polish in the world for cleaning jewelry, fit spectacles, clean and repair watches, and mail to any one desiring it, their cata- logue with over 4,000 illustrations of choicest jewelry, bric-a-brac _and art goods. Reginald De Koven, the com- poser, tells of a grocer and a drug- gist who attended a Wagner con- cert. As the program did not please them, they began talking on music in general and Wagner in particular. “Another example of the fact that every man wants to do something out of his line,” said the druggist. “That’s right,” asserted the gro- cer. “Now, I’m a grocer, but I’ve always wanted to be a banker.” “You'd probably fail,” added the druggist. “Look at me. I’m a suc- cess as a druggist, yet I’ve always wanted to write a book. This man Wagner tries his hand at music. Just listen to it. And yet we all know he builds good parlor cars!”— Success Magazine. HE HAD TO BE QUIET. “Gracious, Elsie!’ exclaimed a mother to her little daughter, ‘““why are you shouting like that? Why can’t you be quiet, llike Willie?” “He’s got to be quiet,” replied Elsie. “He’s playing papa coming home late, and I’m you.” NEIGHBORLY PLEASANTRIES. Old Brown—If I catch your con- founded dog eating my chickens I’ll shoot him. Neighbor—If he eats one of your chickens it won’t be necessary to shoot him.—Ally Sloper. TOO HASTY. A prominent citizen of a certain New Jersey town is a Sunday school superintendent, a druggist and an editor. A New Yorker called upon him recently for the purpose of pur- chasing his drugstore, and found him in the barroom of the hotel. “Now,” said the aforesaid prom- inent citizen, “as superintendent of the Sunday school I never take a drink.” At this point the New Yorker in- formed him that he himself (though wishing himself beyond Suez) did not drink. “And,” he continued, “as drug- gist I never indulge, but as editor I occasionally take a drink.” The New Yorker in reiating the incident declared that it taught him not to interrupt people in the middle of heir speeches.—New York Times. HE WERE. H, K. Adair, the famous western detective, was describing in Duluth the capture of a faker of “old mas- ters.” “When I examined this fellow,” said Mr. Adair, “the ‘third degree’ was not needed. Out of his own mouth he convicted himself uncon- sciously. He reminded me, there, of a boy who once applied at my office for work. “This boy was bright-looking, and I rather took to him. “‘Now, my son,’ I said, ‘if you come to work for me you will occa- sionally have to write telegrams and take down ’phone messages. Hence a pretty high degree of schooling is essential. Are you fairly well educated?’ “The boy smiled confidently. “TT be,’ he said. AT A POLICE STATION. “Pardon me, but could I see the thief that was arrested last night?” a man asked the sergeant. “Really, sir, you cannot; what communication would you like to make to him?” “Oh, nothing; it is only that as it was my house he robbed, I wanted to ask him how he managed to en- ter without waking my wife. When I come home late at night, I never succeed in doing so.”—-I] Motto per Ridere, STUDY. If you would succeed, Mr. Mer- chant, you must keep everlastingly studying. Study your business, Study the art of advertising. Study the wants of your custom- ers. Study to please your trade, Study trade conditions. And, above all else, study your- self, that you may come to a realiza- tion of your own defects. THE 19-HOLE GOLF COURSE. “Neatness is essential on the links,” said H. J. Whigham, the noted golfer, at a dinner in Chicago. He smiled. “At Shinnecock Hills one day,” he went on, “I played behind two young and pretty girls. Overtaking them, I heard the younger say: “How many holes on this course, Aileen?’ “ ‘Nineteen, dear,’ said Aileen, ‘in- cluding the one in your stocking.’” $ . At an evening prayer meeting in a Maine village, the senior deacon, Do- minicus Jordan, arose to make ap- propriate scriptural remarks about the death of the late Miss Simpkins. In conclusion the deacon said: “I respected Miss Simpkins, the mem- bers of this church respected Miss Simpkins, the citizens of this town respected Miss Simpkins; but now she’s dead and gone to the Lord, and the Scripture saith, ‘The Lord is no respector of persons.’ ’—The Circle. ALL A MISTAKE. It is told of the witty old French abbe, Pere Monsabre, that on one occasion a lady sent a message to him, just as he was entering the pulpit, that she must see him. After much beating about the bush, she came to the point. Vanity was her besetting sin, and only that morning she had yielded to the temptation of gazing at herself in the mirror and thinking she was very pretty. Pere Monsabre looked at her steadily for a minute, and tren, in his soft, musi- eal voice, he inquired kindly: “Ts that: all, my daughter?” “Yes, father; that is all.” “Then, my daughter, go in peace. For to make a mistake is no sin.” Uncle Charles—Boys, how can you associates with that Binks boy? I understand he’s the worst scholar in the school. Willie—Huh! If it wastn’t for him me or Tommy ’ud be at the foot of the class. NEATLY PUT. Homer Folks, the secretary of the State Charity Aid society of New York, referred in a recent address to the awkwardness that charity work- ers feel in making public appeals for funds. “And few charity workers,” Mr. Folks added, “can carry off that awkwardness with the neatness of the colored preacher who reminded his congregation that— “‘Brudren, Ah kain’t preach hyah an’ board in heb’n.’” COULDN’T HOLD. “T’ll sell you ten thousand dollars’ worth of this mining stock for fifty cents,” urges the promoter. “It’s the chance of a life time. Within a month it will be selling at a dollar a share.” “Then why don’t you hold on to it?” asks the canny man. ne “T would, but I need a hair cut and a shave. How would I look if I wait a month?”—Life. WOULDN'T TAKE HIS PLACE. Hearing of the sudden taking off the stage of life of a leading Thes- pian while he was playing in Chi- cago, a New York Rialtoan out of a job telegraphed the manager as fol- lows: “Having heard of the sad and tragic demis@ of Mr. , I'll take his place for $150 a week.” As the message was sent collect it elicited the following reply: “Thanuks. J, wouldn’t take his place for twice that amount.” “AFTER MANY DAYS.” As the Long Island Railroad train reached Westville an old man with a long white beard rose feebly from a corner seat and tottered toward the door. He was, however, stopped by the conductor, who said: “Your fare, please.” “TI paid my fare.” “When? I don’t remember it.” “Why, I paid you when I got on the car.” “Where did you get on?” “At Fair Haven.” “That won’t do! When I left Fair Haven there was only a little boy on the car.” “Yes,” answered the old man, “I know it. I was that little boy.” THE NEW YORK IDEA. Langdon Mitchell, whose brilliant comedy, “The New York Idea,” makes a slashing attack upon di- vorce, was recently asked at the Franklin Inn, a Philadelphia liter- ary club, what his attitude on di- vorce was. “Oh,” said Mr, Mitchell, ‘there are cases where I believe divorce necessary and right. There are cases, for instance, where the very young are hurried into marriage by their parents. “But, do you think your daugh- ter and I are suited to each other, madam?’ a prospective bridegroom of this class once asked. “‘Oh, splendidly,’ answered the mother of the girl. ‘“Haven’t you a very fine, loud voice, and isn’t Min- nie dreadfully hard of hearing?’” ESTABLISHED 1890 OFFICIAL PAPER for ITASCA COUNTY Subscribe for GRAND RAPIDS HERALD REVIEW Devoted to the Upbuilding and Material Advancement of Grand Rapids, Itasca County and Northern Minnesota. re. CC. BEL £7. Editor and Publisher.