Grand Rapids Herald-Review Newspaper, December 7, 1907, Page 16

PATENTS. List of Patents Issued Last' Week to Northwestern Inventors, Reported by Lothrop & Johnson, patent lawyers, 911 Pioneer Press building, St. Paul, Minn.: Axel B. Arctander, St. Paul, Minn., window Screen; Edward Thompson, Minneapo- lis, Minn., wheat separator; Harry B. Cornish, Minneapolis, Minn., car- bureter; Fred Gehner, Garrison, N. D., wrench; Isaac W. Hodgson, Minneapo- lis; Minn., resilient wire; Christoph Schaffer, Melville, N. D., gate; Oscar L. Sole, Sioux Falls, S. D., filling cab- inet. Room for One More. He was on trial for bigamy. “What,” queried the judge, “ever in- duced you to marry fourteen wives?” “Superstition, your honor,” replied the prisoner. “I consider thirteen an unlucky number.” CASH FOR CREAM AND POULTRY. Top prices, quick returns, square deal. Ship to us to- ag Write for tags & prices. R. E. COBB, St. Paul, Minn. Rivalry. You belong to the Forty club, do you?” “No, it’s full, and won’t take any more. But we're starting a ‘For Tea’ club, and it’s going to be every bit as exclusive.” PROOF FOR TWO CENTS.: lf You Suffer with Your Kidneys and Back Write to This Man. G. W. Winney, Medina, N. Y., in- vites kidney sufferers to write to him. To all who enclose postage he will re- ply telling how Doan’s Kidney Pills cured him after he had doctored and had been in two different hospitals for eighteen months, suffering intense pain in the back, lameness, twinges when stooping or lifting, languor, dizzy spells and rheumatism. “Before I used Doan’s Kidney Pills,” says Mr. Winney, “I weighed 143. After taking 10 or 12 boxes I weighed 162 and was completely cured.” Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. A Plain Man. “Have you a coat that would fit my monkey?” “Can’t say that I have.” “You don’t seem to care particularly for my pet’s custom.” “No; I don’t want any monkey business.” RHEUMATISM is most painful. What's good? S-JACOBS OIL Gives instant relief. Removes the twinges. USE IT, THEN YOU’LL KNOW 25c.—ALL DRUGGISTS—60c. RUBBER CO. WATERPROOF CLOTHING. ‘EVERY ARTICLE.GUARANTEED ~ IF iF YOUR DEALER DOES NOT HAVE. THEM |GOODYEAR RUBBER CO. S/I-377 SIBLEY ST. ST. PAUL, MINN. After a man has been married a week he begins to unlearn a lot of the things he knew about women. Some men are called “conservative” when in reality they are only slow. slow-going dray horse lands than the average race horse, The more coin SICK HEADACHE Positively cured by these Little Pills. They also relieve Dis+ tress from Dyspepsia, In- digestion and Too Hearty Eating. A perfect rem- edy for Dizzine Nau- sea, Drowsiness, Bad Taste in the Mouth, Coat- ed Tongue, Pain in the Side, TORPID LIVER. They regulate the Lowels. Purely Vegetable. SMALL PILL. SMALL DOSE. SMALL PRICE, Genuine Must Bear Fac-Simile Signature VE a REFUSE SUBSTITUTES. Money Scarce in winter? Better turn your extra time into cash. I pa WEP iva’ $3.00 per day, in cash, for good | work, and supply all the capi- tal besides. Write for details to-day. This offer will not ap- pear again. ATKINSON, 1024 Race St., Philadelphia. 97 Years is a long time for an article to remain on the market and retain its rep- utation for reliability. Johnson's , Anotynelfiniment Established in 1810, holds this record. ‘Taken internalty on sugar it has no equal coughs, colds, croup, colic, etc. ich 5c. ANl dealers. , Boston, Mass. SPOT CASH FOR SOLDIERS AND HEIRS 1 soldiers and sailors who served fansces Test and 1866 and who homesteaded lossthae H i60acres. before Juneda 174, are entitled toadditional its which I buy. If soldier isdead, his Poe a delle Talk to old soldiers, widowsand nel ind some soldier relay who who went madd or Soul gee ine wi munke some casy money. Write satay ‘an Pr, Wi Washington, D. C., for further particulars A Quick Way. “Our old friend Gille has retired from business.” “Voluntarily?” “T suppose so. He stopped adver. tising.” How’s This? ‘We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any case of Catarrh that cannot be cured by Hall's Catarrh Cure. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, 0. ‘We, the undersigned, have known F.'J. Cheney for the last 15 years, and believe him perfectly hon- orable in all bueiness transactions and fnancially able to carry out any obligations made by his firm. ‘WaLpine, Kixn. Wholesale Druggists, To! 5 Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken fnternally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. ‘Testimontals sent free. Price 75 cents per bottle. Sold by all Druggists. Take Hall's Family Pills for constipation. More Wisdom. “If people had to pay a tax on what they think they know,” remarked old man Wiseowlski, “the government would not need no other source of rey- enue.” Is the best keros k your dealer, or, write The Van Tibbing C Minneapolis. An Innocent Victim. “Bliggins is always telling some- thing smart that his baby said.” “Yes,” answered the crusty bachelor. “If that baby knew how its father is acting it would be sorry it ever learned to talk.” y HIDES TANNED FOR ROBES, COATS ete. Oldest tanners in N. W. Send for prices ster Robe & Tanning Co., Minneapolis. The ideal that is only a dream and never a deed is always a detriment to the character. ONLY ONE “BROMO QUININE” That is LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE, Look for the signature of EW. GROVE. Used the World over to Cure a Cold in One Men of business will be in the church when the church gives them some business there. SNSNAN Vp = DODDS ” MID NEY 2 me PILLS = \ YASS SS UKIDNEY RHEUMATISE SATs! 1S ee FEI EN | BOARDING-HOUSE GEOMETRY | oe— “A scientific friend of mine has drawn up a boarding house geometry that strikes me as being noteworthy,” says a youth with a third-story “front.” “Some of his definitions run as fol- lows: “1 All boarding houses are the same boarding houses. “2. Boarders in the same boarding house and on the same floor are equal to one another in ‘the matter of price, but not in the matter of outlook. “3 A single room is that which has no parts and no magnitude. “4. The landlady of a. boarding house is a parallelogram—an oblong, angular figure which cannot be de- scribed, but is equal to anything. “5. All the other rooms being taken a single room is said to be a double room.” “Among postulates and propostions the following are worthy of considera- tion: “1. A pie may be produced any num- ber of times. “2. The landlady may be reduced to her lowest terms by a series of propo- sitions. “3. A ‘bee-line may be made from one boarding house to another. “4, The clothing of a boarding house bed, although extended indefinitely. in both directions, will never meet. “5. Any two meals at a boarding house are together less than one square meal.”—Harper’s Weekly. Held Child for a Debt. A woman's tearful plea to get back her nineteen-month-old child, which was being held as a hostage by an other woman to insure the payment of a debt of $25, was heard yesterday in the Manhattan Avenue court, Will- iamsburg. The woman who made the complaint was Mrs. Margaret Burns of 289 Kingsland avenue, and the one who had her child was Mrs. Jane Bimson, who lives at 86 Eagle street. Mrs. Burns had the other woman in court on a summons for refusing to surrender the child. “About three months ago,” said Mrs. Burns, “my husband lost his employ- ment, and it came so hard upon us that I asked Mrs. Bimson to take care of my child until such time as I could support it myself. I promised to pay her $2.50 each week for board. Re- cently my husband again got a job, and when I went to Mrs. Bimson to get my child she refused to surrender it until I had paid her $25. I told her that I would pay her just as soon as I got the money, but she still refused.” The magistrate ordered Mrs. Bimson to give up the child at once, on pain of going to jail—New York Times. An Acute Observer. A one-armed man sat down to his noonday luncheon in a little restaurant the other day, and seated on the right of him was a big, sympathetic individ- ual from the rural district. The big fellow noticed his neighbor's left sleeve hanging loose and kept eye- ing him in a sort of how-did-it-happen The one-armed man failed to k the ice, but continued to keep busy with his one hand supplying the inner man. At last the inquisitive one on the right could stand it no longer. He changed his position a little, cleared his throat, and said: “I see, sir, you have lost an arm.” Whereupon the unfortunate man picked up the empty sleeve with his right hand, peered into it, looked up with a surprised expression and said: “By George, sir, you're right.”—St. Louis Republic. The Annual Pilgrimage. A fine old place is Turkeyville; beneath a hill. Upon the Pie Line you go down, by way of Pumpkinville. it Hes . | Cranberryburg you strike en route; it has a railroad bridge. And oft the engine gives a toot when passing Bacon Ridge. The Pie Line’s not the first of roads; it’s sleepy and it’s queer. But it does carry wondrous loads about this time o’ year. "Most everybody takes the trip; ‘tis one of great renown. So hurry up and get your grip; we're off for Turkeytown! 2,400 Babies in 25 Years. When Dr. J. W. Carmichael assisted at the birth of an eleven-pound boy to-day he announced that this infant was the twenty-four hundredth at whose arrival he had officiated. Dr. Carmichael is also a minister, and he has frequently served at the wedding of a couple and later at the birth of their children. Once he carried it so far as the baptism. The first of the 2,400 was a relative of Henry W. Grady. When the boy grew up Dr. Carmichael married him. —Atlanta Correspondence New York Sun. A Trifle. As an illustration of the enthusiasm with which golf is pursued by its vota- ries, the following anecdote is told of a well known Scotch author and a young friend of his: The two had spent the whole day on the links, and had had some close and exciting matches. As they left for home the elder man remarked: “Do you think you could play te- morrow, laddie?” “Well,” answered the youth, “I was to be married to-morrow, but I can put it off.’—Philadelphia Public Ledger. Innocent, A laborer in the mining region of Pennsylvania died recently and the members of the fraternal order to which he belonged called upon his wid- ow to find out how they might be of most assistance in her distress. They made all arrangements for the funeral and desired to know if the deceased had any special church affiliation. “Did your husband belong to any; church?” was asked. “Why no,” said the woman in aston- Yshment, “he never done nothin’ to be- long to church for.”—Philadelphia Public Ledger. | | SORES AS BIG AS PENNIES, + | Whole Head and Neck Covered—Halr All Came Out—Cured in Three Weeks by Cuticura. “After having the measles my whole head and neck were covered with scaly sores about as large as a penny. They were just as thick as they could be. My hair all came out. I let the trou- ble run along, taking the doctor’s blood remedies and rubbing on salve, but it did not seem to get any better. It stayed that way for about six months; then I got a set of the Cuticura Reme- dies, and in about a week I noticed a big difference, and in three weeks it ‘was well entirely and I have not had the trouble any more, and as this was | seven years ago, I consider myself cured. Mrs. Henry Porter, Albion, Neb., Aug. 25, 1906.” Even With His Way. “Our baby gives us lots of trouble. Yells unless he has his own way.” “Ours yells anyhow. You don’t know what trouble is.” WE PAY TOP PRICES FOR CREAM. Cash every day. Write for prices and tags. MILLER & HOLMES. St. Paul. Minn. The Politician. A boomlet by Salt river’s brim A busted boomlet was to him, And nothing more. PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYSé PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any case of Itching, Blind, Bleeding or Protruding Piles in 6to 1ddays or money refunded. 0c. Many aman mistakes a stock of pious quotations for riches of religious character. HIGHER CREAM PRICES. Write us to-day for particulars and tags. MILTON DAIRY CO.. St. Paul. Minn. You can always get fine feathers with money, but a fine face you can- not buy. SAVE 40 PER CENT OF YOUR FUEL. Write for price list _and_ testimoni: Economy Fuel Saver Co., Minneapolis. ‘When a man aims at nothing he sel- dom misses his target. TUMORS CONQUERED Overwhelming Proof that Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound Succeeds. One of the greatest triumphs of Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Com- pound is the conquering of woman’s dread enemy Tumor. The growth of a tumor is so in- sidious that frequently its presence is wholly unsuspected until it is well advanced. So called “wandering pains” may come from its early stages or the presence of danger may be made manifest by excessive monthly peri- ods accompanied by unusual pain, from the abdomen through the groin and thigh. If you -have mysterious pains, if there are indications of inflammation or displacements, secure a bottle of Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Com- pound, made from native roots and herbs, right away and begin its use. The following letters should con- vince every suffering woman of its virtue, and that it actually does conquer tumors. Mrs. May Fry, of 836 W. Colfax Ave., South Bend, Ind., writes: Dear Mrs. Pinkham:— “I take great pleasure in writ- ing to thank you for what Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound has done for me. I also took the Blood Purifier in alternate doses with the Compound. Your medicine removed a eyst tumor of four years’ growth, which three of the best physicians declared I had. They had said that only an operation could help me. I am very thankful that I followed a friend’s advice and took your medicine. It has made me a strong and well woman and I shall recommend it as long as T live.” Mrs. E. F. Hayes, of 26 Ruggles St., Boston, Mass., writes: “I have been under different doctors’ treatment for a long time without relief. They told me I had a fibroid tumor, my abdomen was swollen and I suffered with great pain. I wrote to you for advice, you replied and I followed your directions carefully and to-day I am a well woman. Lydia HB. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound ex- pelled the tumor and strengthened my whole system.” Mrs. S. J. Barber, of Scott, N. ¥. writes: Dear Mrs. Pinkham:— “Sometime ago I wrote you for advice about a tumor which the doo tors thought would have to be removed. Instead I took Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound and to-day am @ well woman.” Mrs. M. M. Funk, Vandergrift, Pa, writes: Dear Mrs. Pinkham:— “T had a tumor and Lydia E. Pink- ham’s Vegetable Compound removed it for me after two doctors had given me up. I was sick four years before I began to take the Compound. I now recommend Lydia E. Pinkham’s Veget- able Compound far and near.” Such testimony as above is con- vincing evidence that Lydia E. Pink- ham’s Vegetable Compound stands without a peer as a remedy for Tumor Growths as well as other distressing ills of women, and such symptoms as Bearing-down Sensations, Displace- ments, Irregularities and Backache, etc. Women should remember that it is Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Com- pound that is curing so many women. Don’t forget to insist upon it when some druggist asks you to accept something else which he calls “just as good.” Successful in One Way. “What success did you have hunt- ing?” “Splendid.” “What did you get?” “Nothing. I was lost hunting.” ‘Neda _. CENT. eget fo similating theRedan na ting the Stomachs of ogy Nor Minera OT NARCOTIC. Bac of Od De SAMUELPORR in Seed = - Aperfect Re: for Cons! tion, Sour Rene for mee Diarrhoea; = Worms Convulsions. Feverish: ness and LOSS OF SLEEP. j FacSimile Signature of Ato months old | 35 Doses -35¢ 35 CentS ———— da Bears the Signature 'GASTORIA For Infants and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought of In Use For Over Thirty Years CASTORIA THE CENTAUR COMPANY, NEW YORK CITY. SHOES AT ALL PRICES, FOR EVERY MEMBER OF THE FAMILY, \ MEN, BOYS, WOMEN, MISSES AND CHILDREN. makes and sells more tt better, wos ie longer, an oo value t than the world to-day. any other aan eh ad Agdgse Gilt Edge Shoes cannot be equalled at any price. ) CAUTION. — W. L. Do stlntes ‘Sold by the best shoe lealers evel of the world, adie justrated catalog free. ‘las name and —_ is stamped on bottom. Take No Sub- ‘Shoes mailed from factory to any part ~ L. DOUGLAS, Brockton, Mass, the tongue. or in feed. Acts on the blood and ex all forms of distemper. Best remedy ever known for mares One bottle. $10 dozen of manufacturers. ree ( Booklet gives everything. Local agents wanted. Largest selling in horse ret Chemists a1 SPOHN MEDICAL cos COLT DISTEMPER Can be handled very easily, The sick are cured, and all others in same stable, no matter bow “ kept from having the dis- STEMPER CURE “Give on is germs of resin foal. Fusranteed to.cure one case. Scand #1. bottle: and Gruggists and harness dealers. or sent express paid b ‘Cut shows how to poultice throats. Our free istence—twelve years. Baeteriologists. Coshen, Ind., U.S. A_ ESTABLI HIDES, FURS, WOOL. = ET DIRECT TOUS AND _D. BERGMAN &/‘CO., ST. PAUL,MINN. ToP MARKET PRICES, IMMEDIATE CASH RETURNS! (RITE FOR PRICE Li HED. SAVE SMALL DEALERS’ PROFIT S:| i i | | TAG HIPPING ESTABLISHED 1879. WOODWARD @ CO. | Minneapolis GRAIN COMMISSION. ee ee lm eel te aeelUlU tT KCK Oe | SPECIAL MERIT f SCHOOL SHOES “WEAR LIKE IRON” Mayer “Special Merit” School Shoes are expressly made for the hard knocks and severe wear of healthy, romping school children. They are made of thoroughly seasoned upper leather and tough, old-process and time joned soles, the strongest and most dur- able material obtainable — that’s why they “wear like iron.” Plenty of room for growing feet, sensibly shaped shoes, strong enough for the hardest everyday ressy enough for Sundays. Your dealer will supply you; if not, write to us. Lakh for the name and trade-mark on the sole. F. Mayer Boot & Shoe Company MILWAUKEE, WIS. ARMS ves FREE Typical Farm Scene, Showing Stock Raising In WESTERN CANADA Some of the choicest lands for grain mh stock raising and mixed farming in the tricts of Saskatchewan and Alberta ha’ As “= eently been Opened for Settlement under the Revised Homestead Regulations Entry may now be made by proxy (on cert: conditions), by the father, mother, son, daugh- ter, brother or sister of an intending home steader. Thousands of homesteads of 160 acres each are thus now easily available in these | Besa grain-growing, stock-raising and mixed farming sections. There you will find healthful climate, goed neighbors, churches for family worship, schoels for your children, good laws, splend: ia crops, and railroads convenient to market. Entry fee in each e: let, “Last Best West, routes, best time to go and where to loa: apply to E. T. HOLMES, 315 Jackson Street, St. Paul, Minnesota Has Been Taken ta $30 AN HOUR &: MERRY GO ROUNI DS ee oad N W N U —NO49— 1907