Grand Rapids Herald-Review Newspaper, June 2, 1906, Page 3

Generates Electrioity [MZ BLACKETT | in the Human Body. . Rubbing a piece of amber with a ‘Woolen rag generates electricity Proven by the fact that it will pick Up pieces of paper and cotton fibre. The same thing can be done with a rubber comb and a few other mineral or vegetable substances, BY J. A. TIFFANY. (Copyright, 1906, by Daily Story Pub. Co.) Mr. Archibald Blackett had had a busy and harassing time of it for 24 hours. He was the proprietor of a wholesale store handling high-grade surgical instruments, and was doing a flourishing busi- ness. But he had been compelled to borrow money during the last year, by reason of his branching out; and by some mysterious means rumors had got abroad that he was not solvent. The bank had declined to renew a note for $3,000, and he had had just one day in which to raise the amount. It had been a difficult matter, as seyeral men to whom he might have looked for help were away on their summer vacations. But, by running hither and thither, tele- phoning here and telegraphing there, he had succeeded in raising $2,975. He had still an hour left in which to get the remaining $25. But he seemed to have exhaust- ed his resources; and though he knew the bank would make no dif- ficulty about so small a discrep- ancy, he did not want to ask any more favors of them. As he sat in his private office, his hands thrust away down to the bottoms of his trousers’ pock- ets and his head sunk into his shoulders—thinking harder even than he had thought at any time during the last 24 hours—a gen- tleman tapped at the glass door and walked in. “Maybe you don’t remember me, Mr. Blackett,” he said. “My name is Septimus Harcourt. 1 have owed you $50 for the last ten years, and I have never seen the time until to-day when I could have paid you. Here is the amount, sir,” and he handed Mr. Blackett five new, clean, crisp ten- dollar bills. Mr. Blackett leaped to his feet, seized his astonished visitor’s hand with a vise-like grip, wrung it cordially, then thrusting two of the bills back into Mr. Harcourt’s hand, he said: “Thank you, thank you, sir! But $50 is altogether too much. It’s more than I need. I’ll take $30. You keep the rest, sir—have a cigar on me. Good-by. I’m aw- fully busy. Stop in any time and have a chat. T’ll give you credit for the full amount. Good-by.” Mr. Blackett having got rid of his visitor, put the three ten-dol- lar bills into the brown leather bag on his desk and took out a five-dollar bill. The bag now con- tained the full amount,of $3,000, and he was just on the point of calling the head salesman to run over to the bank with the money, when Mrs. Blackett came panting into the office, carrying her baby and a bag, and perspiring from the exertion of walking from the It has been the aim of scientists for years to find some liquid prep- aration which, when applied to the human body, would penetrate first through the skin, then through the muscles and finally to the very bone. Electricity to be subsequently gen- erated through friction with the hands, it being a well recognized fact that electricity so generated and applied, would strengthen the nerves, remove inflammation and ease all pain, Max R. Zaegel, a graduate of the Philadelphia College of Pharmacy, established as a chemist in Sheboy- gan, Wis., for the last 23 years, has discovered this long sought secret. Tt consists of a mix- ture of vegetable and mineral oils forming an amber colored liquid of pleasant odor and taste which, when used as directed, restores vitality and strength and gives prompt re- lief to all pain. Applied to cuts, sores, burns and bruises it heals, owing to the fact that no pus or matter can form in any wound where this electric oil is used. If. you have rheuma- tism, piles, pain in back or catarrh, write Mr. Zaegel and he will be pleased to mail you a sample bottle of this wonderful electric oil free. State the nature of your complaint and address your letter to Max R. Zaegel, 170 Main St., Sheboygan, Wis. It is free now, so do not fail to write to-day. A Case of Bathos. Bliss Perry, the new occupant of the chair of English at Harvard, said of bathos recently: “A good example of bathos came within the experience of a Boston clergyman. A Boston fisherman had lost his lit- tle son, a boy of four, his only child, and the poor fellow was well nigh be- side himself with grief. The clergy- man went to see him. “As the clergyman talked to him, the bereaved father wept. His grief in- tensified itself. The clergyman, be- fore such parental suffering, was more and more moved. “And suddenly, rocking himself two and fro, with tears trickling down his brown cheeks, the fisherman said in a 4 ; ili ith voice hoarse and broken with emo-|Strect car in the broiling sun with tion: the heir of the house and his bag- “Do ye think, sir, I could have the| gage. \ little beggar stuffed?” She threw herself into Archi- eae bald’s revolving chair and laid her bag down on his desk. “There’s something wrong with the telephone up at the house, Archibald,” she said. “I tried to call you up a dozen times, but I couldn’t get Central. So I had to come right down to see how you were geiting on. I simply couldn’t rest at home.” “Tm all right, my dear,” said Mr. Blackett, hugging first his wife and then the baby. I’ve got every cent of the money in that bag, be- sides five dollars in my pocket. T’ll send Watson over to the bank right away, and when he comes back with the note I’ll take you and the baby home and we'll cele- brate the occasion.” Mr. Blackett stepped to the glass door, called his head sales- man, Mr. Watson, and sent him over to the back with the bag, tell- ing him to bring back a note for $3,000. *° Then, with a sigh of relief, the tired merchant took the baby from his wife and marched and pranced up and down the office with it in his arms, crowing, coo- ing and talking gibberish, until the astonished child began to scream with terror, probably rea- soning with his baby brains that his usually sedate parent stood ir immediate need of the attention of an alienist. Whe head of the house put the Baby down on the rug, and Archi- bald junior was soon contentedly engaged in strewing the contents of the waste-paper backet over LOW RATES. M. & St. L, Special Excursions. To Portland, Ore.; Tacoma, Seattle and Puget Sound points (account meeting Hotel Men’s association, June 25-29), one fare for the round trip via variable routes. Tickets on sale June 18-22, limited to sixty days. With payment of slight additional charge tickets will be routed one way through California. To Boston, Mass.—One fare plus $1.00, for meeting American Medical association, June 5-8. Liberal limits, Tickets on sale June 2-5. © To Des Moines, lowa—One fare plus $2.00, unless fare and one-third makes less, for General Assembly Presbyte- rian church, May 16-29. Tickets on sale May 14-17 and 21-23, limited to May 31. To St. Paul and Minneapolis, Minn. —One fare plus $2.00, except fare and one-third from nearby points, account biennial meeting General Federation Women’s Clubs, May 30-June 7. Tick- ets on sale May 28-31, limited to June 9, except that upon payment of limit extension fee of $2.00 tickets will be made good for return until July 31. To Springfield, U1—One fare plus $1.00 for round trip, account annual meeting German Baptist Brethren, May 31-June 5. Dates of sale June 1, 2, 3, and also on May 29 and 30 to ad- vance delegates. Liberal limits of- fered. To Louisville, Ky.—One fare plus 25 cents for the round trip, account Homecoming week for Kentuckians, June 13-17. Dates of sale June 11-18. Tickets limited to June 23, except ex- tension to 30 days from date of sale may be obtained on payment of 50 cents. For full particulars in regard to rates, train service, etc., call on agents or address A. B. Cutts, G. P. & T. A, Minneapolis, Minn. The people who give advice are not so quick to take it back if it’s dam: aged. eer wh fy “4 counted to his affectionate spouse the disappointments he had. encoun- tered before finally gathering to- gether the required sum of $3,000. “I never knew until to-day,” he said, “that there were so many well-dressed people in the world, going about without a cent in their clothes. But it’s time Wat- son was back. Why, goodness me!”—looking at his watch— “he’s been gone half an hour. He ought to have been here long ago. I must telephone to the bank and find out if he’s been there.” The bank officials informed Mr. Blackett ‘that Watson had not been there, and that only 15 min- utes’ grace remained to him to take up his note. Mr. Blackett hung up the re- ceiver and began pacing the floor of his office with short nervous strides. “Watson’s absconded!” he ex- claimed. “I might have known it. I was a fool to trust him. He’s been acting queer lately. Been gambling, I suppose. I may catch him and get most of the money back; but it will be too late. My note will have gone to protest. O, dear! What shall Ido?” “You ought to have gone to the bank yourself, Archibald,” said Mrs. Blackett. Nobody butaman would trust a salesman with such a sum of money. Watson is prob- ably on his way to San Francisco now.” “For heaven’s sake don’t gird at me!” said Mr. Blackett in a tone of desperation. “I need all my wits about me.” To add to the unfortunate man’s perturbation of mind the baby set up a dismal howl, and Mr. Blackett absent-mindedly gave it a bottle of mucilage to play with. “Poor little lamb,” said Mrs. Blackett, snatching the child up in her arms, just in time to pre- vent a catastrophe with the mucil- age bottle; “and now you are a beggar, my son. Weshallall have to go to the poorhouse. But don’t 00 cry, my precious. Mamma has a bottle of milk in her bag. And ’oo needs ac hange, don’t ’00?” Mrs. Blackett took up the leath- er bag from the desk for the pur- pose of getting out the things necessary to the baby’s bodily comfort and peace of mind. “Why, what’s the faatter with my bag, Archibald?” she said. “I can’t open it.” It was a bag that Archibald had given her—just like the one he used for sending money to the bank. She had fallen in love with this bank bag, and had several times threatened tocarry it home, until Archibald had bought her one exactly like it. “Press down on the catch, my dear,” said Mr. Blackett, in re- sponse to his wife’s cry of dis- tress. Mr. Blackett took the bag from his wife’s hands, opened it; and then, with a whoop like a Sioux Indian’s, he bounded out of the of- fice, dashed through the store, scattering clerks and customers in his career, and rushed out into the street, bareheaded and coat- less as he was. Two or three minutes later he returned, took up his astonished wife and bawling baby in his arms at one grab, danced around the office with them, dropped them into the arm chair, and went on dancing and skipping around the place until he sank on the floor from sheer exhaustion. He lay there for a few minutes longer, laughing in the most bois- terous and unaccountable man- ner, until Mrs. Blackett, deposit- ing her wailing infant in the chair, got up and shook her too hilarious lord. “Now, Mr. Blackett,” she said, sternly, “if you haven’t taken leave of your senses entirely, per- haps you will be good enough to tell me what you have done with this poor little cherub’s feeding bottle and his diapers.” “O Lord, O “Lord!” said Mr. Blackett, sitting up and wiping the perspiration from his face. “Pd give $100 to see his face when he opens it! I haven’t touched the poor little cherub’s diapers, my dear. Watson is on the road to Canada with them, I guess. He took the wrong bag. Here, Mr. Barnes—take this five-dollar bill and go out and buy a gallon of milk for the baby. And bring a dozen of the best damask dinner napkins—large size. It’s my treat, all right. I’ll blow myself on the baby.” ny discouragements and| ‘Prof. Stillman Made It Without Milk fs, ‘When Prof, Stillman of Sevens in- stitute gave a dinner to two friends, at which most of the viands were made artificially by chemical means, he had small idea of the furore his efforts would produce. But he has received hundreds of letters asking how differ- ent dishes were produced—so many that he has not had time to answer many of them. The chemical processes which he employed were some of them simple and some quite complicated. To make vanilla ice cream by artificial means, for instance, the alchemist took some triple refined cottonseed oil, placed it in a centrifugal machine which revolv- ed at a velocity of 3,000 revolutions a minute. A beautiful emulsion was thereby produced, which was then frozen, chemically, of course, The fla- vor was obtained by the addition of vanilla, glucin and nitro-benzol. They Say that ice cream composed as above is sold in many Southern states where cottonseed oil is more plentiful and consequently cheaper than milk or cream. It is far from harmful, tastes good, and does not melt as quickly as the genuine ice. Driven to the Suburbs. The rapacity of landlords in New York city is driving tenants to the suburbs. It is impossible to get a small flat at a figure reasonably with- in the average clerk or workingman’s means, and such tenants are finding it extremely difficult to meet existing conditions. DR. J. H, RINDLAUB (Specialist), Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat, Fargo, N. D. In Same Class. The teacher has been telling the class about the rhinoceros family. “Now, name some things,” said she, “that it is very dangerous to get near to, and that have horns.” “Motor cars!” replied little Willie promptly. TORTURED WITH ECZEMA. Tremendous Itching Over Whole Body —Scratched Until Bled—Won- derful Cure by Cuticura. “Last year I suffered with a tremen- dous itching on my back, which grew worse and worse, until it spread over the whole body, and only my face and hands were free. For four months or so I suffered torments, and I had to scratch, scratch, scratch, until I bled. At night when I went to bed things got worse, and I had at times to get up and scratch my body all over, until I was as sore as could be, and until I suffered excrutiating pains. They told me that I was suffering from eczema. Then I made up my mind that I would use the Cuticura Remedies. I used them according to instructions, and very soon indeed I was greatly re- lieved. I continued until well, and now I am ready to recommend the Cu- ticura Remedies to any one. Mrs. Mary Metzger, Sweetwater, Okla., June 28, 1905.” Ethel—I showed papa one of your poems and he was delighted. « Scribbler—Indeed! Ethel—Yes; said it was so bad he thought you’d probably be able to earn a living at something else —Judge. |-won hearty applause by the following an address to a delegation of farmers.| A West Virginian’s Awful Distress Through Kidney Troubles. 2, ‘W. L. Jackson, merchant, of Park- ersburg, W. Va., says: “Driying about in bad weather ‘\ brought kidney trou- bles on me, and I suffered twenty years with sharp, cramping pains in the back and urinary disorders. I often had to getupa doz- en times at night to urinate. Retention set in, and I was obliged to use the catheter. I took to my bed, and the doctors failing to help, began using Doan’s Kidney Pills. The urine soon came freely again, and the pain grad- ually disappeared. I have been cured eight years, and though over 70, am as active as a boy.” Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. observation: mH overheard a dialogue between two well dressed men at lunch the other day. “The first man, as he helped himself to asparagus, said: “By the way, you said Johnson was a@ farmer, didn’t you?’ “*Good gracious, no!’ returned the other man. ‘I said he made his for- tune out of wheat. Did you ever hear of a farmer doing that?’ ” Different. “Why don’t you elope with her?” “But, good gracious, man! If you are perfectly willing for me to marry your daughter I cannot see any ob- ject to be attained by our eloping.” “Can’t you? How will it be if I offer you half of what I save on the wed- ding?” A blush is one of the few things that cannot be counterfeited. A WOMAN’S ORDEAL Surprised. Homer—I have bad news for you, old man. Your friend Watkins has eloped with your wife. \ DREADS DOCTOR'S 10N: Peckhem—You don’t say! [I’m sur- S OG QUESTIONS prised at Watkins; I thought he knew Thousands WritetoMrs. my wife better than that. Pinkham, Lynn, Mass., and Receive Valuable Advice Absolutely Confidential and Free PATENTS. There can be no more terrible ordeal to a delicate, sensitive, refined woman than to be obliged to answer certain questions in regard to her private ills, even when those questions are asked by her family physician, and many List of Patents Issued Last Week to Northwestern Inventors. Reported by Lothrop & Johnson, patent lawyers, 911 Pioneer Press building, St. Paul, Minn. Ole M. Aar- seth, Echo, Minn., mail box; Clarence W. Carter, St. Paul, Minn., cake icing machine; Frank A. Evans, Redwood Falls, Minn., rotary filter; Louis H. Finnegan, Minneapolis, Minn., choco- late cutter; Andrew N. Gabrielson, Mount Iron, Minn., plane; Frank Gus- taveson, Wabasha, Minn., shoe/ John W. McGuire, Joliette, N. D., motor plow. A Grand Thing. “This new luminous paint is a splendid invention!” declared the fond young papa. “How so?” asked Mr. Newlywed. “Why, you just paint the baby’s face with it, and you can see it to give him his bottle without lighting the gas!” continue to suffer rather than submit to examinations which so many phyai- cians propose in order to intelligently treat the disease; and this is the rea- son why so many physicians fail to cure female disease. This isalso the reason why thousands upon thousands of women are corre- sponding with Mrs. Pinkham, daughter- in-law of Lydia E. Pinkham, at Lynn, Mass. To her they can confide every detail of their illness, and from her great knowledge, obtained from years of experience in treating female ills, Mrs. Pitkham can advise sick women more wisely than the local physician. Kead how Mrs, Pinkham helped Mrs. T. ©, Willadsen,of Manning,Ia. She writes: Dear Mrs, Pinkham: “T can truly say that you have saved my life, and I cannot express my gratitude in words. Before I wrote to you telling you how I felt, I had doctored for over two years steady, and spent lots of money in medicines besides, but it all failed todomeany good. I had femaletroubleand would daily have faint- ing spel aetae hear sown) er he ot my mon’ ‘were very jar anc finally ceassd, I wrote to you for your ad- vice and received a letter full of instructions iia ‘Pinvhan's Vogstable, Compound, inkham’s Ve; le Com) and T have been pedis on perfect. Health’ Had it not been for you I would have been in my grave to-day.” ’ Mountains of proof establish the fact that no medicine in the world equals Mrs. Winslow's Soothing rfp wt For children teething, softens the gurus, reduces tm flammation, allays pain, cures wind colic. '25¢8 bottie. When a girl’s breath smells of co logne water it is a sign she has been smoking. W.L. DoucLas $352 % 3°22 SHOESIi, W. L. Douglas $4.00 Gilt Edge Line 4 cannot be equalled at any price. Lydia E, Pinkham’s Vegetable Com: pound for restoring women’s health. (css ene UMMM ANegetable Preparation for As- similating the Food andRegula- Sie Steaioeationeoct RE Promotes Digestion,Cheeriul- ness and Rest.Contains neither i ee nor Mineral. || Nor NARCOTIC. Apetfect Remed: for Consti don. Sour Stomach, Diarrfwea,|| Worms. ions Feverish- ness and LOSS OF SLEEP. FacSimile Signature of Ato month 3) Dosrs —35 EXACT COPY OF WRAPPER. CASTORIA JULY 6, 1876 CAPITAL $2,500,000 Stags W. L. DOUGLAS MAKES & SELLS MORE MEN’S $3.50 SHOES THAN ANY OTHER MAKUFACTURER IN THE WORLD. 10 000 REWARD to =ayone who can A disprove this statement. IfI could take you into my three large factories at Brockton, Mass., and show you the infinite For Infants and Children. care with which every paltet shoes is made, you The Kind You Have Always Bought fit better, wear jonger, and are of greater intrinsic Value than any other $3.50 shoe. W. L. Douglas Strong Made Shoes for Men, $2.50, $2.00. Boys’ School & exurt Tnsist upon having W-L ~—lnsist a las shoes, ON: no substitute. Non without his name and price stamped on bottom. Fast Color Eyelets used; they will not wear brassy. Write for Illustrated Cine W. L. DOUGLAS. Brockton, Mass AUTOMOBIL =FOR SALE= Model C KFord—double-opposed cylinders, 10 bh. p., four to five passengers, just as good as new—cost $1,000 last August, will sell tor 8700 cash. JOHN J. DOBSON, 1008 Ploneer Press Bidg. St. Paul, Use For Over Thirty Years fi | ‘Make ’Em Lay When eggs are highest By using b SHER So Geen the great poultry tonic in use 40 years. Une pack 25 cents ; five $1; two-] _ ban $1.20 ; six $5. ° Express paid. 1S. JOHNSON & Co. ‘THE CENTAUR COMPANY. NEW YOAK ITY. He smicea™ith' Thompson's Eye Water For ‘This signature ALLENS FOOT-EASE : FREE When Answering Advertisements, A Certain Cure for Tired, Hot, Aching Feet. ‘Address, Al indly Mention This Paper. DO NOT ACCEPT A SUBSTITUTE. on every box. leRoy,N.X,: N W N U —NO. 22— 1906. ESTABLISHED 1879. GRAIN COMMISSION. (==) WOODWARD & C ®@ Orders tor tatui it executed in recite ae f —+—