Grand Rapids Herald-Review Newspaper, May 12, 1906, Page 5

— SS ein eS EVIDENTLY WAS NOT. Attendant at. Cathedral Had More Than Usual English Stolidity. - “While going through an English cathedral,” said a returned visitor the other day, “we noticed that all the tombs except one had inscriptions er- plaining them. Be ¢ curious to know whose tomb it was that did not bear — an inscription 1 walked down to an iron railing, the gate of which was in charge of an old man. We had en- tered this cate to view the tombs. pey lomary sixpence admis- s.won. Pointing to the témb, which was less ihan seventy-five feet from the gate at which the old man was sta- tioned, I said to him: ‘Beg pardon, but whose tomb is that one there? It has no card on it,’ and I’m curious to know its history.’ “Looking up toward where I was pointing and peering through the rather dim atmosphere of the church the old man in the most pathetic tone imaginable replied: ‘I don’t know, siv;, vo never been up that far.’ “Supvosing that he was a new- comer I said: ‘How long have you been here?’ Slowly but proudly came the reply: “Twenty-seven years.” IMMENSE CONTINENT OF ICE. Has Accumulated in Greenland for Untold Centuries. The largest mass of ice in the world is probably the one which fills up nearly tke whole of the interior of Greenland, where it has accumulated since before the dawn of history. It is believed to now form a block about 606,000 square miles in area, and averaging a mile and a half in thick- ness. According to these statistics, the lump of ice is larger in volume than the whole body of water in the Mediterranean; and there is enough of it to cover the whole of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland with a layer about seven miles thick. If it were cut into two convenient ibs and built up equally upon the en- e surface of “gallant little Wales” 3c would form a pile more than 120 miles high. There is ice enough in Greenland to bury the entire area of the United States a quarter of a mile deep.—London Tit-Bits. Dreams and Their Influence. Eight hundred persons, chiefly wom- en, belonging to different American training colleges, have been giving an” interviewer their experience in dreams and some surprisingly interesting in- formation has resulted. A writer in an article devoted to the question says that dreams can be preventec by sug- gestion and that neither seasons, days nor months have any effect on them. ; bush, which lay close by. ‘Necessity, but— : Winkleton folded up his evening mewspaper and savagely threw it on “Yes, madam,” he continued, “I tell you once for all that you can’t have | both of us. The last time that dress- maker was in the house for a week I | vowed that I never would stand it | again, and I won’t. , the same roof with’two half-crazy anc | absorbed women, and requiring a rake s for being under every morning to get the odd pieces of cloth out of my clothes; to hear the rattle and whir of that confounde¢ sewing machine, and to sit at my meais and listen to a lot of cut bias, ruffled and filounced, and pleated talk —I’ve had all I’m ever going to have tf I'm to be turned out of my own house, all right; but you can’t have both of us. I leave the day she comes. You'll have to make your decision quick. Come, madam, which shall it be, the dressmaker or me?” Mrs. Winkleton looked at her hus- band with a hopeless, half-despairing look, in which were discernible some traces of indignation and a sense of Injustice. “If you must go, dear,” she sald, soft- ly, “why, I have nothing more te say!” TIGER HUNTING IN AFRICA. Predatory Beast Killed by Blow of Rifle Butt. “An exciting adventure with a tiger occurred at Sabi recently,” says a South African paper. “The beast was seen going from L. Banger’s place, dragging a calf toward a dense Mr. Ban- ger could not leave the store until nearly sundown and by that time the tiger had eaten nearly half the calf. On coming up to him Mr. Banger fired and managed to break the anima!’s ‘eft shoulder, but it was too dark to follow. Next morning he set out with a couple of dogs and a few boys. As soon as the doss bayed him the tiger commenced growling, but he could not be seen for the dense bush. All of a sudden he dashed out, passed Mr. Banger and caught one of the boys, whose flesh was very badly torn and had to be sewed up by a doctor. Mr. Banger, being afraid of shooting the boy, ran up to the tiger and broke his neck with the gun. The animal meas- ured from nose to tail seven feet six inches.” Apostrophe to Limburger. ‘Owing to the fact that the restau- | cants wert out of business the first of the week, the editor and staff are baching—that and other reasons—and yesterday a rural subscriber brought Children dream of events very soon after occurrence, while with “grown- | ups” the more stril:ing the event, the,| longer is the interval between it and its representation in dreamland. The ele concludes by saying that the | rence of dreams on real life is much greater than is generally sup- posed. Valet Watchet Cver Nelscn. Lord Nelson was a very sparing eater, and never drank more than five glasses of wine. Even had he shown any wish to do so his faithful valet, Tom Alien, who ruled the admiral with a rod of iron, would have interfered. A biographer tells how at a certain stage of a certain dinner “honest Tom Allen pushed in his bullet head with an eager gaze at his master, and after | a little consideration approached the | admiral. ‘You will be ill if you take any more wine.’ ‘You are perfectly right, Tom, and I thank you for the hint. Hardy, do the honors. And, gentlemen, excuse me for retiring, for my battered old hulk is very crazy— indeed, not seaworthy.’” His Day of Fate. Death from snake bite is somewhat rare in South Africa, but a record case is reported from the veldt. A Boer named Johannes Smit had gone to the mouth of the Selous river to shoot crocodiles, when he had an exciting. encounter with a leopard. Smit would undoubtedly have met his death if a large hound, which was accompanying | him, had not sprurg upon the wound~ ed animal, enabling Smit to fire a sec- ond charge. Almost immediately after thick undergrowth, the unfortunate man was bitten by a poisonous snake and his death occurred within an hour or two. the incident, as he was passing through | | Still Believe in Horoscopes. Sir George Airy, the great astron- | as in a p‘ece of limburger cheese, say- ing that if we didn’t care to eat it we Could usé it to drive away ants. Will it drive;away ants? Will it! Ver- lly, I say urto you, it will drive away dogs out of a tanyard; it will drive | buzzards away from a carcass; it will | drive a herd of buffalo through a burn- ing forest and a mule through a barb- ed wire fence; it will drive a man crazy if compelled to stay within twenty feet of its polluted presence; indeed, it will drive away ants—and uncles, too, and mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters and grandmoth- ers, even to the seventh generation; still there are some who claim to like limburger—Freewater (Ore.) Times. The Invaluable Hairpin. Anthropologists have never done justice to the hairpin. Dullards will tell you that women aren’t so inven- tive as men, don’t take out so many patents. They don’t have to. With a hairpin a woman can pick a lock, pull a cork, see if a joint of meat is done, do up a baby, regulate a range, tinker a sewing machine, stop a leak in the roof, stir batter, whip cream, reduce the pressure in the gas meter, keep bills and receipts on file, tighten windows, clean a watch, untie a knot, put up awnings, doctor an automobile. {n short, she can do what she wants to; she needs no other instrument.— New York Sun. The Luster of Opals. Many gems, often without any ap- parent cause, suddenly become crack- ed or seamed, the damage being be- yond repair. Opals, known as the un- luckiest stones, are so sensitive that their beauty is frequently destroyed by their wearer's proximity to an open fire. The luster of this stone is caus- ad by the presence of myriads of little fissures which deflect the light into the characteristic prismatic color of the gem. The tiniest of these fissures is likely at any moment to destroy the omer royal, once stated that it was by no means an uncommon occurrence for them to receive letters at Green- wich observatory from people asking what the fees would be for horoscopes. which would show them what the fu- ture had in store. When they were informed that casting horoscopes was no part of an astronomer royal’s duties they seemed to lose all respect for the office. When he informed them, besides, that horoscopes were nonsense they wondered how such a simpleton had managed to obtain such a position. Getting the Story Right. A resident Irish landlord with an estate of 30,000 or 40,000 acres, many quaint stories are told of Lord An- trim’s devotion to his home affairs. Someone in great trepidation once told him thatesomebody else had seen the earl driving three cows along the road, and he asked for Lord Antrim’s authority to contradict a story so de- rogatory to his dignity. “The man was under a misapprehension,” re- plied Lord Antrim; “it was not three cows, but two cows and a bull.” : stone. The Troubles of Humanity. There are troubles of the rich Fresh for the gossips day by days There are the waiting armies which Are taught to hate and schooled to slay; There are the rogues in office who Still shame us by their sinful greed— But still the sky is often blue ‘And good men still come forth to lead. The warring and the sin and woe ‘We make our daily themes, but still At sunrise we meth see the glow Of promise on the eastern hill! The strife and wrongs a ‘And often foolishly forget = That Virtue’s broad, white banner fites High over all the others yet. —8.’E. Kiser, we emp! Reward for Finding Errors. By the recent dinner of the London Association of Correctors of the Press attention was called to a queer cus- tom of the old time. Printers used to chain copies of their bocks outside their offices, and if any passing schol- ar detected an error ke was rewarde~ according to its magnitude—a cup of wine for a breken letter, a cup of wine and a plate of beef tor a turned letter the lke. discussion recently on the subject of “How to Light a Pipe.” This may seem to the feminine mind, a trivial matter, and quite beneath the notice of any dignified journal. How wrong! For a pipe ill-lit is a pipe ill-smoked, and a pipe ill-smoked is a man made testy, and a man made testy is a man looking out for ible, and a man looking out for trouble is a man finding trouble, and a man find- ing trouble is a woman in tears, and a woman in tears is the last word in hu- man dreariness. Never let us be ashamed to inquire, then, how a pipe may be lit with the utmost satisfac. tion to the smoker. One paper, I see, recommends spills. That is good, but the spills, of course, must be wooden ones. ; Another paper retorts that spills are of no sort of use to the man in the train. This is the kind of frightfully true thing that causes a hush in the noisiest assembly. What, then, should the man in the train do? I will tell him. He should carry a box of wooden matches, aad he Should use exactly two matches to light his Pipe. The first one will dry the to- bacco on the surface, and the second one will produce the vivid, even glow beloved of smokers. The man, by the way, who lights his pipe with a wax match is a bad man right from the start. Never trust him, dear friend.—Sketch. TAR AND FEATHERS LONG AGO. Ordered by Richard Coeur de Lion as Punishment for Theft. : We learn from the annals of the his torian Hoveden, who was court chap lain to Henry III, that the old custom of tarring and feathering is one that dates back to the time of Richard the Lion Hearted. He tells us that this renowned king, on setting out for the third crusade; made this enactment among others, for his fleet: A robber who shall be convicted of theft shall have his head cropped af- ter the fashion of a champion, and boiling pitch shall be poured there- on, and the feathers of a cushion shall be shaken out on him, so that he may be known, and at the first land at — Few Minutes’ Exposure to Intense . Cold Js Fatal.” 4 Klondike river is fed by numerous soda springs and even the winter’s cold fails to close them entirely. Walking on the edge of the ice near the shore, a miner one day slipped into six inches of water. In a mo “ment he was out and hastening to the brush hard by to light a fire before his feet froze. Rapidly he cut a few fragments of wood with his heavy pocket knife. But the unlighted match dropped from his already chill- ed fingers, for he had rashly removed his mittens in order to use the knire with more freedom. Then he lighted @ second and a third, and finally sev- eral at one time, but either his haste - or perhaps a sigh of the air caused them to fall to the snow. All this time the frost was seizing his limbs, his: body, his heart," his mind. He turned to the fatal mittens, whith he never should have taken off, but his already frozen fingers could only lift them from the ice where they had fallen, and after a vain attempt he hucled them from him and strove once again to light a last match. But it was too late. DON’T WAIT TOO LONG. Time to Show Good Will and <Sym- pethy Is Right Now. Too many people keep the flowers they have plucked for you until the day of your funeral. Their songs of praise are not ‘heard until your pro- cession is passing their door. The mantle of charity does not become public property until put in use by the preacher who conducts the “last sad rites.” me, I want them while I am on earth and can smell their fragrance. They wili do me no good sitting at the head of my coffin. Thesgrass that is kept green about my last . resting place will be of little avail to me on the other shore. Here is where I need the flowers and the smiles and the Praise, not over there. If the fellow who is going round to the house after I am gone to see “if he can be of any help” will come round to-morrow, I can tell him how he can be a whole lot of help. Carry your flowers t>-the living and sing your songs of praise at the dinner table. Don’t wait for the funeral.—Liverpool (Eng.) Mer cury. which the ship shall touch he shall; be set on shore. This, then, is one of several cus- toms which has been classed com- monly as “American,” while in truth, it originated with us, and was im ported by them from Europe.—Tit Bits, London. Sent as Substitute For Meat. An odd* incident occurred south of. .ty. through the atmosphere“and some Seneca, in Faulk county, when, on a dark, stormy night. while a family of homesteaders were lamenting their ill fortune of having no meat in the house they were startled to hear heavy thuds against the outside of tHe building, when investigation with a lantern disclosed the fact that wild éucks had flown against it and had fallen to the ground to be easily pick- ed up in their dazed condition. This settled the meat question, and there were some who figured that the ducks had been providentially misguided that night in their journey south. Milk Kills More Than War. Thus of a million babies born in France, 200,000 are lost annually by death. Of these the grand majority might be saved if only they were prop- erly treated and above all, thoroughly nourishe“. Statistics are witness to the fact that infant mortality is near- ly always due to malnutrition which in its turn is caused by milk of poor quality. Of a thousand nurslings that died before they were a year old, over a third on an average perish through digestive disorders. In some cities the average is far higher; in Nantes more than a half, in Troyes néarly four-fifths. How to Best Pack a Trunk. In packing a trunk use heaps of paper with tailor-made garments and pack them as much like a man’s suit as possible. Never forget that wrin- kle, and many other wrinkles will be avoided. And of materials, remember serge and most voiles pack magnii- cently, alpaca always creases, faced cloth wants care, cashmere docs crumble, but soon shakes out. Vel- vet, of course, must never be creased at all; crepe de chine travels very well on the whole; silks vary, and anyhow, should be treated with discre- tion.—Household Companion. Brother Jinkins’ Misfortune. Says ihe Adams Eagle: “We are mighty sorry to report an accident that happened to Brother Jinkins last week—and it was one of the strangest accidents that ever happened in this settlement. While he was peacefully pulling off his shoes, previous to re- tiring for the night a cow—a fine Jersey cow—walked into his room, which is on the ground floor, and bit off the calf of his left leg. Some of the neighbors seem disposed to be guperstitious about it.” Order to Lewiston Hibernians. In Lewiston, Maine, lived a certain policeman who was also captain of the local company of Hibernians. On one occasion a street car approached pany along the street, and, as it seemed the proper course to pursue, while he was marching the com-. «Where the Game Started. It 'was a beautiful spring morning early in the year 4004 B. C. (Ussher’s chronology). The ardent rays of the sun were diffracted and softened by the misty envelope which at that time protected the earth. Everywhere were signs of life und merriment. Suddenly there was a crescendo whis- tling sound as of a body moving rapid- ‘strange-shaped foreign ‘object landed on the mossy turf with @ dull, sicken- ing thud. Presently, however, Satan (for it was indeed he) sat up and rubbed himself. He recovered his wind and said: “Alas, my graft scheme wasn’t popular up there, but I'll eat. my shirt if I don’t make it per- fectly respectable on earth.” Then he got busy in the garden and was doing nobly until the magazines got on his trail. Tale of Kanaka Brutality. This tale comes from New Cale- donia, where a ship was loading up with natives to work in Australia: “There was a man and a girl—a young couple, they seemed. She had a youngster, who began yelling at sight of the boat. ‘Can’t take that young- ster!’ the boss shouted. The woman said she wanted to come, too. ‘No, we can’t ship that squalling little beast. Leave him with his auntie.’ There was no auntie in sight. So the Kanaka man, after taking -a look around, caught the kiddy by the heels, swung her around like a rabbit and dashed her head against a tree. ‘She was only a girl anyway,’ he said, and slung her body into the scrub. Then they both hopped into the boat and were shipped aboard.” Why He Wept. During the funeral of one of the Rothschild family in Paris a beggar was noticed standing among the on- lookers sobbing bitterly. A bystander touched by the man’s grief, endeavor- ed to comfort him. “Do not weep so bitterly my poor friend,” he said. “See, even his relatives are able to restrain their grief more than yov are doing.” Then, as a new idea struck him: “Surely, you are no re- lation of M. de Rothschild?” “N—no,” sobbed the beggar. “That is just why I am s0 pahappy.”—T. P.’s Weekly. A Song of the Way. Give me the road, the great broad road, ‘That. wanders over the hill; * Give me a heart without a care . And a free, unfettered will— Ah, thus to wander. thus to fare, ‘With only the sky to frown, And apes if the ways but lie Away, away the town. Give me the path, the wildwood path, That rs deep in a dell, Where silence. sleeps and sunbeams fain Would the slumber spell— For there the fins world again, Immortals | —Thomas 8. Jones, Jr. Claim of Vege = ans. Vegetarians contend that fiesh-eat- OF THE KLONDIKE, If a man has flowers for’ rand Rapids Village Lots the matter over. REISHUS-REMER SSOCSKHAKAK HRSG FSET ES eee 3 2 H We have choice residence lots ai! over town and we are sell- ing them on such easy terme that anybody can buy. $5 down and $5 per month is certainly easy. Come in and talk A house and three lots for sale cheap. We also have some choice business lots on our lists. are for sale on easy terms. Down and $5 per month $5 LAND COMPANY, REE SRE A EN A Re a ae FTIPCSCSCCA CSSA SS SSSHSHSASH HHSC EHS SSeS oe oa sageeee eae EE HE nabtiac- ise tcee senda ache in dog ae ‘ Re “eo # A Favorite Resort # as for refreshments and where may be seen and heard one ‘ek of the largest phonographs in the world is at In connection—Open Day and bE hho deosde che cdo tiecbechethe che sheobe odode she sdechoohecheddy-shesheshosk WE eH EH ae ea a THE NORTHERN SAMPLE ROOM Cabinet Rye Whiske riod Se ectat bo yong always in Rapids. We handle the finest Lida ever distilled. cee NORTHERN CAFE Season served at all hours, OTTO RANFRANZE Chef. ERE A A ae a eee A AE ee Night. All Delicacies of the EE Fe Ae IE IC a a ea a a ae ae ae ae ae eae ae a ae a SE A A A eH a a a PANTOMIME HAD BAD EFFECT. London Youth Copied Crimes of Hero of Stage. Are modern melodramas harmful to uneducated minds? Some of the old- time pantomimes in London proved to be. In the eighteenth century one of the most popular productions at the Drury Lane theater of those days was a pantomime called “Harlequin Jack Sheppard,” which was simply a reproduction of the crimes of this popular young criminal, who was only 23 when he was hanged. His chief appeal to the popular imagination was his brilliant escape from Newgate prison with the fetters on his hands, a Christmas entertainment hundreds flocked to see it. It was even proved that numbers of boy pickpockets who filled the prisons about that time had got their first inspiration to thieve from this melodramatic entertainment, and one boy confessed that he stole ‘in order to get to the pantomime and hoped some day to be as clever as Jack Sheppard. PERFUMES CAUSE OF HYSTERIA. Danger in the Use of Combinations of Scents. Chemists find many interesting ex- periments inf the compounding of scents. Almost all perfumes have as a basis ambergris or civet. And while they are most necessary, great care must be observed in their use, for a grain too much will make the scent distressingly irritating to the wearer, as well as to those with whom she comes in contact. The same is true of many combinations of perfumes, and several separate scents attacking a sensitive set of nerves at one time may produce hysteria, though the suf- ferer may be at a loss to find a reason for the attack. This in itself is a good argument against the indiscriminate use of perfumes. Good taste has long waged war against the use, but with small results. Particularly during the last few years has there been an in- crease in the offence——New York Herald. Beet Roots a Valuable Remedy. Beet roots have valuable diuretic qualities. One lady suffering from a disease of that nature paid a very high fee to a famous doctor, besides journeying far to see’ him, merely to be told to take regularly the juice of beets. These should be trimmed as little as possible before boiling, great care being taken not toeut off the little rootlets or fibers, in order that they may not “bleed” and so lose a great deal of their juice and brilliant coloring matter, which vinegar, by the way, intensifies, though when used for medicinal purposes: it would be better omitted. Scotchman’s Answer. On board one of the Scotch steam- ers, which have to be built with ex- ceeding light draft to get over the fre- quent shallows of one of the rivers in and when he was made the subject ofi; W. E. NEAL Real Estate and Insurance Dealer in The finest List -f Agricultural and Grazing Lauds in the County. The Most, Excellent Sites for Manv tacturing Enterprises. Prospective Settlers Located. Corres.ondence Solicited. | Grand Rapids, : : Minr A. B. CLAIR, Mineral Pine ana Farming Lands Pine Stumpage Bouyht. ABSTRACTS OF TITLE. GRAND RAPIDS, MINNESOTA a | FOR SALE! I have about 2,500 acres of lan? in 55-23 and 55-24 that I wil sell for $5.00 an acre. Write immediately to P. O. Box 211, Mankato, Minnesota O.W Hasrines. F. P. SHELDON. . President. Vice-President. C. E. AIKEN, Cashier. First National Bank, Grand Rapids, Minn. Transacts a General Banking Business’ A Cure for Colds. Here is a sure cure for colds of any kind. It has been tested repeatedly, and has never failed, and as I used to catch cold, which resulted in a bad attack of bronchitis, I can speak from experience. In cases of pneumonia it will not fail to cure if taken in time. Make a ball of cotton batting about the size of a small marble, saturate it well with alcohol, then drop onto it six drops of chloroform; cover it lightly with a thin piece of thin cotton batting, hold to the mouth, and inhale Scotland, a Yankee tourist remarked to the captain, a shrewd old Scotch- man: “I guess, skipper, that you think nothing of steaming across a meadow when there has been a heavy fall of dew.” “That’s so,” replied the captain, “occasionally /we hae tae send a mon ahead wi’ a watering can.” --Rehoboth Sunday Herald. Strength in Belief. Everything new starts the idea of difficulty, and yet it is often mere novelty that excites the appearance, for on a slight examination of the pro- posal the difficulty vanishes. When we firmly believe a scheme to be prac- ticable, the work is half the fumes, inflating the lungs well. It will open and expand every lung cell instantly—Woman’s Home Compan- ion. Derivations Little Known. “Scandal” is one of the hardest worked words in the language. It is the same as “slander,” and should have the same meaning of things spoken injurious to a person’s repue tation. Derived from Greek “skan- dalon,” “slander” and “scandal” are’ good examples of doublets from class- ical sources. “Scandal” came, with the “new learning,” direct from the Greek; “slender” by way of Norman French “esclandre.” The same pro- cess has given “palsy” and “paral