Grand Rapids Herald-Review Newspaper, August 5, 1905, Page 6

Published Every Saturday. By E. C. KILEY. TWI DOLLARS A —————— Ratered in the Postofice at Grand Rapid Minnesota, as Second-Cluss Matter, —————————— VICTIM OF MANY DEATHS. Verdict of Goroner’s Jury on Body of Wrecked Sailor. Records of the ancient city Gorge ana, founded in 1640, better known at the present time as York Harbor, Me., contain many quaint and unusual sto ries of the early life of the town. At the entrance to York Harbor a bold promontory known as Stage Neck extends some distance into the sea, from wkich formerly in stormy weath- er a temporary light in the form of a lantern hoisted upen an upright pole was displayed as a warning to mari ners. One dark winter night a sloop was wrecked on these rocks. A survivor, on being questioned about the catas trophe, said: “The vessel struck, turned over on her , and the skipper and another barrel of whiskey rolled overboard.” The local coroner was summoned, and this somewhat startling verdict wes returned: “We find that the deceased fell from the masthead and was killed; he roll- ed overboard amd was drowned; he floated. ashore and froze to-death and the rats eat him up alive!”--Harpers Weekly. GOOD ADVICE FOR ALL. Cultivate Calmness if You Wish Health and Happiness. A beautiful woman gave the follow- ing advice to a girl admirer: “Shield your nerves and don’t let them become 100 se Make yourself take life calmly. If you lose a train don’t pace the platform wildly, but inquire when the next comes in, and sit down calm- ly to wait for it. That’s just what most women don’t ‘do; they sit down, perhaps, but they tap the floor with their feet, clinch and uneclinch their hands, and are apparently in a fever, heat of excitement over the arrival of every trath that comes in, even though they have been assured that theirs is ot due for another half hour. That half hour of waiting means.to them frightful wear and tear of nerves ang they are practically weekg older for it. Try to cultivate calmaess, bui, if you cannot do that all at once, you ean keep your face still.” “Bog Trot” a Misnomer. “Dogs have a variety of gaits,” said the can’t understand why it is that peo ple who describe a certain style of lecomotion always call it a dog trot. Judging by the universality of that etpression, a body would think that z never moves any other way But he des. All the ing to other four-fcoted re also his. He runs, he he even rackS and paces, 50 n a person in a hurry falls into a pee kind of canter, there would be just as much sense in speaking of his gait as a dog run or a dog gal- lop, once in a while, as always to call it a dog trot.” ? dog h on a trot. Forest of Dwarf Trees. The most extraordinary forest in the world is one diseovered by Dr. Welwitsch, which eccupies a table- land some six miles broad, at a height of 300 feet or 460 feet above the sea, near the West Coast of Africa. The trunks of the trees of this peculiar forest are 4 feet in diameter, and yet they only attain a height of 1 foot, giving the tree the appearance of a round table. There are never more than two leaves, which. attain a length of 6 feet and a breadth of 2 feet, che flowers forming crimson clusters. Stay, Stay at Home. Stay, stay at home. my‘heart, and rest; Horhe-keeping hearts’ are: happiest; For those who wander they know not where. Are full of trouble and full of care; To stay at home fs best. Weery and homesick and distressed, ‘Shey wander east, they wander west, And are baffled and beaten and blown about By the winds of the wilderness of doubt; To stay & home ig best. Then stay at home, my heart, and rest; The bird is safest in its nest; Over all that flutter their wings and fly A hawk is bo the sky; es To stay at home is . —Longfellow. THE PIONEER OF MENAGERIES George Wombwell, the First to En gage in Profitable Business, George Wombwell, who was. to may2 his name world known as a m¢uiagerie proprietor, was a cobbler in Monmouth street, Soho, London, be- fore he made his adventure into the world of zoology. His initial purchase was a curious one for @ stiteher of lJeather—two boaconstrictors;, . $375 they cost him, but the soundness of his investment was proved by the fact that he cleared his expenses in the first few weeks of-ownership by @x- hibiting them. Thus prospergusly Jaunched, he built up the finest travel- ing menagerie ever seen up to that time in England. , His family of carni- vora multiplied exceedingly in captiv- ity, his caravans numbered forty his expenses were $500 a day, t mS 120 Clydesdales to move him trem fair to fals. YRan IN ADVANCE boss of the kennels, “therefore’! | x od Subscriber—I ‘want ¢ jease, talking bere. Go way ‘back and ®it Why, yes, Fred, I am perfectly sure that Draws the Blood. t Night brought us to the miserable peon village of Palencia, says e¢ writer, and as we could get no ac- eommcdation in the cane cabins we were obliged. to sleep in our ham- ote The place swarmed with mosqui- 708, ' toes, ___|stundly I arose and built a fire in and while Tipe-Chico slept whose smoke I passed the night- But if Tipe was immune to the plague of you didn’t intentionally try to offend me, | Mosquitoes he did not escape a more but you certainly ought to bave gent me Serious pest. When I met him in the some word— : Subscriber reads a. column paper. Picks up the receiver it to her ear im obedience to thé “Listen First” on the card of di Voice—O, Fred, wait a minute. ter éul old rubberneck is listening again, Another Voice—Central, how long em going to wait for Maroon 873? Central—Number, please? pet Voices—Mahogany 6483. oes “Dark Navy Blue 899.” “Violet Indigo 4422. “Crushed Strawberry 555.” Central—Number, please? Soe oe Yellow 756, if you lease. Voice—Well, for goodness sake, I guess the whole North side is taking a rubber I wish I could get hold of some of them | There is one I would just like to shake. Deep Bass Voice—Sure thing. I guess she must be old Mrs. Butinsky that we read about in the papers, Well, don’t mind her. She just has to listen, poor thing; it’s her way. Central—Number, please? Subscriber—I want Orange Yellow es and I mean to have it. Furthermore, faci come to thie telephone to be im sulted. Deep Bass Voice—She cathe to buy two) yards of calico and a quart and e half of molasses. Voices—Hello, central, Dark Navy Blue! .nen he came back he told a story “Hello, central, Mahogany 6483.” “Hello, central, Violet Indigo 4422.” “Hello, central, Crushed Strawberry 555.° “Orange Yellow:756:"" Central—Putaniekelintheslot. Chorus of Voices—My nickel is in. Centrai—Here’sRed W hiteand Blue598, Subscriber—I want Orange Yéllaw 756. Deep Bass Voice—Let her have it with potato dressing and brown gravy. Voice—Central, I want the manager. 1 have been calling here for half an hour for Mahogany 6483, and I put my nicke} in the slot, and I don’t propose to be treat: | ed this way. Central—Whatnumberyoucalling? Voice—Mahogany 6483. Central—Putanickelintheslot. Voice—Well, I put one nick in the elot. How many do you want? Contral—Putanickelintheslnt. Veice—Well, I would like to come over tomorrow afternoon much, but I really don’t see how I shall be able to. Another Voiee—Who wants you tof Nong I want is money for that whisky Voice—Isn't this Mre. Smithkens, Etrus- can Brown, 4411? ; The Other Voice—No, this ie not Mra, Simpkins Etruecan Brown 4411. This is O’Nully’s saloon, and I want to know when you are going to pay that whisky bill. Voice—Sir. The Other Voice—Say, if you ain't Jim Benners, why gittel out o’ here. I want Jim Benners Pinky Green 55. Subscriber—Hello, central! How long have I got to wait for Orange Yellow 756? Central—Dropanickel intheslot. Gubscriber—But I did put @ nickel iv’. the slot The Other Voice—Say, cut that out and go way back, will yer, jest fer five sec onds, one after the other, anyhow, huh? Bay, Maggi hurry back! See? Hurry haek! Bweet Voice—Somebody seems *o have let the bars down. All kinds of cattle ia here to-day. Deep Bass Voice—Sure, Mike. Wonder where old Screech Owl, the child Patti, fs. Must have swallowed Orenge Yellow 758 and died ” Subscriber (trembling with indignation) Whoever you are you are not a gentleman end nothing but a pitiful coward, and i! chap just tell me your name my hue nd will— Voice—Rouse mit ’em! Rouse mit ‘emt! On yer way, all of you! On your way! Say, Mag, jar up Pinky Green 55 ewce more, wil ou? : Subscriber—Hello, central! Can I have Orange Yellow 756, or must J enter a com plaint? Se Make it five. Have one off me. On yee way? Mrs. Smithkins, are you listening? All the bells on the circuit ting and all the subscribers hurriedly grab up A receivers except those who are already on guard. Grand Chorus—Yes; what is it, please?! pare been trying for an hour to get you. ‘es. Gruff Voiee—This is the lineman mending the wire. . Stand back three feet and eay “Hello!” All together (shifting position)—Hello! Lineman—Now stand three fect to the right and say “Hello!” ‘ ‘All together (shifting position)—Hello! Lineman—Now stand three feet to the left and say “Hello!” ‘ coe All together (shifting position)— Lineman—Now stand on yer heads ay eae . oices—"()..().20)..& ().-" and ether things too numerous to mention. Central — Whatnumberdoyouwantputa nickelintbeslot!—Chicago Tribune. Quirks and Quibbes, ie easy fer the light headed to be light hearted.» feo sy He who confesses that he lies, lies; he _| who ‘denies that he lies twice. ‘ We admire. the man‘ who, will listen te reason . because be givesius a chance to talk. = ead: mx Most of ue only. know one man whom we regard as absolutely “fair,and unbiased, and modesty. prevénts,us from naming him. Let a man imagine that he-is having h= own way and’a woman can do anything with him; let a woman but suspect that she is having her-own way and a man can do ing with”her. 4 “What a pity that most of our most bril-' + and original -ideas did not present — ves to us*first. fh : lost’men would find it a difficult matten to’ tell all they know;; notithat they know myeh; but the difficulty would‘erise in try- ing to winnow what they know from #hat imagine they know. is always as old as he feels, any men pass inom youth to old agein a aga. hes, Suet Sok 5 -. 5 7 news! holds with clotted. blood. | would gimme Pinky Green 59 rig eral Voices—Enter three complaints,’ morning his great toe was still bleed- Ing and hammock was stained Nobody in Yucatan could explain fo me-how the vampire manages to draw ‘such a large quantity of blood—from to ten ounces—while its victim arias time remains in a profound sleep. I have never heard of any one waking while the vampire bled him; indeed, so gently does this nocturnal surgeon draw blood that the patient by some. mysterious process is lulled into a profound sleep. The vampire measures about two fest from wing tip to wing tip, has , not unlike those of ks sleeping animals Wan beings.’ If he in- flicty a wound with his teeth, one think that pain would is bled to cause the person awake, but it does a MOSE WAS LOSING MONEY. Got Tired of Foolishness About Hurt ing His Feelings. Daniel J. Sully, the cotton king, made 4 trip through the south, and of an old negro who had been work- ing for a cotton planter time out of mind. One morning he came to his employer and said: “T’se gwinter quit, boss.” “What's the matter, Mose?” “Well, sah, yer manager, Mistah Winter, ain’t kicked me in de last | free mumfs.” “I ordered him not to kick you any more. I don’t want anything like that around my place. I don’t want any one to hurt your feelings, Mose.” “Ef I don’ git any more kicks I'se goin’ to quit. Ebery time Mistah Win- ter used ter kick and cuff me when ‘he wuz mad he always git ‘shamed of hisself and gimme a quarter. I’se done los’ enuff money a’rcady wid dis heah foolishness ’bout hurtin’ ma feelin’s."—Saturday Evening Post. Ages of Fish. The limits of fish life are not Known. But it seems pretty certain that, as the salmon shows astonish- ing variations and possibiiities of growth, so other fish may live to con- siderable ages, even in captivity. Some striped bass have been living for ten years in an aquarium, and according to Country Life the electric eels are among tze oldest piscine in- habitants of the reptile house at the Zoo, where one of them hes been for more than fifteen years. Cases of carp which lived to be a century old are repeatedly quoted, and he would be a bold person who would deny to a whale the possibility of living to be, a couple of centuries old. Prison Without Walls, Rerresa, a convict prison in Call- fornia, is unique in the fact that it possesses ro wall. The grounds aré studded with nineteen guard posts, which are built of stone and wood, and resemble a system of lighthouses. They are built on salient points of observation, and are fitted with Gat- ling machine-guns, Winchester rifles and shot-guns. These posts are from forty feet to sixty feet high, and are placed various distances apart, aver- raging 300 yards. No convict is allow- ei to pass between the posts unless hea has permission or is accompanied by an officer or guard. Just a Boy’s Dog. No siree, that dog won't bite, : Not a bit o' danger! - What's his breed? Shore I don’t knos; Jest a ‘‘boy’s dog,” No St. Bernard—yet last year, Time the snow was decbest, Dragged a lttle shaver home Where ihe hill was steepest. stranger, Ain’t a bulldog, but you bet *Twouldn't do to scoff him. fastened on a tramp one time— Couldn't pry him off him. Y \ 4 if “i § Not a pointer—jest the same, : When it all-is over, isi Ain't a better critter round Startin’ up the plover. Bell him? Say, there ain’t his price, Not in all the nation! Sest a “boy’s dog”; that’s his breed— Finest in creation. —McLandburgh Wilson, A Hint About the Teéth. Once a week the teeth should be eleaned with the finest pumic stone. Take a little of the very finely pow- dered pumice, and place it on the tooth. brush, says the Chicago Daily News. Brush the teeth lightly, and remember that while pumice is good ja its way, it will take off the enamel if used too vigorously. Just how much of the pumice to use is a ques- tion of judgment, but. women who tightly touch the teeth with it once \ week are never in need of having che teeth cleaned at the dentist’s. Scottish Deer-Stalking. In Scotland the growth of deer stalking ‘within the last century hag been very remarkable. At the time of Waterloo there were only five for- ests north of the Tweed; in 1888 the number had grown to .111; and’ now ‘it he@spassed the 150 mark. And an excetlent source of profit these forests: are to their owners, seeing that every year they put something like £500,- We sterline irto t*- noeckets. wakes its Victim While It | Feared Death by Lightning Stroke Micht Run in Families. Gen. James A. Wilson told the fol- lowing story of Washington Irving, which he had from the latter’s lips: “During a pfolonged stay in’ Eng- land,” began Mr. Irving, “I was one day walking in the country with a friend when a violent thunderstorm burst upoh us. We stopped under a large tree, and while standing there [ was reminded of the fact that a brother of mine who had taken shel- ter under an oak on the banks of the Hudson was struck by lightning. 1 mentioned the incident. The face of My friend took on a look of consterna- tion, He ran out into the pouring rain, and when I shouted to him to some back hc answered: “No, sire-ee! That kind of death probably runs in your family. I'll take my chances out in the open instead | of by your side!’ z “And he did,” added the hermit of “Sunnyside” with a smile that woult have opened oysters,—Pittsburg Dis- patch, NINE A MYSTICAL NUMSER. Many Svperstitions Connected With Three Times Three. Nine is a mystical number. A cat is said to have nine lives; there are nine crowns in heraldry; possession is “nine points of the law,” and the whip for punishing evildoers has nin+ tails, the superstition being that a flogging by a trinity of trinities would be ‘sacred and more efficacious. In or- der to‘see the fairies, mortals are di- rected to put nine grains of wheat on a fourleaf clover. The hydra had nine heads, and leases are frequently granted for 99 or $99 years. Milton, in “Paradise Lost,” says: “The gates of hel are thrice threefold—three folds adamantine, three folds iron and three folds adamantine rock. They have nine folds, nine plates and nine linings! When the angels were cast out of heaven nine days they fell.” The nine of diamonds was consid- ered the curse of Scotland, and to sce nine magpies in the land of cakes is considered as bad as to see the de’ll his ane sel’. Laughter and Worldly Success, “Speaking of laughter, I have often wondered if the laughing man and thé laughing woman really get along bet- ter in. the world than the man and woman who do not laugh, or if they laugh at all merely grin at some amusing thing,” said the observant man. “I do not know, I am sure. Of course, you will find that men and omen of both types probably in your own acquaintance have been able.to get along fairly well in a great many instances. It is equally true thi#t*the’grim face, the sour look, I may say, has often proved a valu- able asset. The which would seem to indicate that there is a time to laugh and a time not to laugh.”—New Or- leans Tithes-Democrat. Question cf Economy. Elmer was the oldest child of an al- ready somewhat numerous and inter- esting while razidly increasing family, and yet Elmer was only a little boy. One pair of twins had marked an epoch ‘in the family history between Elmer's birth and +hat of a little baby sister, which he was invited to go in end see before she was honored with &@ namé, or was big enough, in Elmer's estimation, to be designated as any- thing, more than just “it.” Asked by his mother what he thought of the dear little creature, Elmer looked at the mite very attentively for a time, and then answered, like the young economist that he was: . “W’y, mama, it’s nice, of course; it’s real nice. But do you think we needed it?”—Lip- incott’s Magazine. . Dreamin’ by the Fire. Bettin’ by the fire, whilst Moily’s stirrin’ roun I dream the old dreams over in Recol- lection town, $ Outside I hear the winter—see the railin’ o. the snow— But I'm with the old-time sweethearts that loved me long ayo! The first swect flowers she gave me—the loved, fair place I see; She ieaped. an’ kissed the violets, as she pinned ‘em on for me! 5 The pecceful paths” and pleasant—the valleys an’ the hilis, Where, hand-in-hand, we listened to the wild,, sweet whippoorwills! ‘| Settin’ by the fire—ah, well! I'm gittin® » hay Too olG to be a dreamer—to rose of May! The lights an’ Shadows ‘round me like friends trom oj@ times seem— The fire aves tuc talain’ an’ I listen an’ I dream. —Atlanta reap the am! Constitution. ‘Castor Ol! for Mummies. M. Berthelot, secretary of the Louvre museum, believes that he has discovered the secret of the agent used in embalming in ancient Egypt. After a laborious examination of the sarcophagi of the fifth and sixts dynasties, which date back as far as 3500 B. C., M. Berthelot has come to the decision that the oil employed was simply castor oil, such as is still used in Egypt, which has undergone some oxidation, but retained during the long period its preservative quali- ties.—London Telegraph. A Misapplied Petitiort Not long since the choir in one of the fashionable churches of the South rendered a long and difficult anthem— “one *with many frills ahd furbelows. “The good minister sat patiently ‘through it, but when the anthem was finished he arose and, to the amuse- ment of both ‘congregation and choir, began his ptgyer in deeply earnest tones, saying@g‘O Lord, we thank Thee that we are stil] alive?"—Lippin- 5 ee a Cots. so Hh tel ES ee gee mo the world.: Laughter is no doubt good capital in’ 15, EXCELLANCE IF YOU TRAVEL VIA THE Great Northern Railway “The Comfortable Way” Tothe Louis & Clark Ex osition Send 2cents for handsomely !llustrated booklet ‘A Camera Journey to the LOUIS & CLARK EXPOCITION" ww F. i. WHITNEY, Pas er Traffic Manager, St. Paul, Minn. ‘ask your local Agent about rates: The Herald-Review For Up-to-date Printing SSAY, PA, WHY TO RIP. EAMS pon’ vou wear | N09 “OR wat THE THE MENOMINEE SEAMLESS? Senstbie boy, that, He made a bull's eye when he spoke. We make shoes which put the corn- cure dealers on theranxious seat. We cure corns by fitting the feet scientifically. The best way to cure corns is to prevent heir growth in the first place. The Menominee Seamless Union Made Shoe is casy-to- wear, easy-to-buy, easy-to-sell, SISWSWSLCS LSC ELSSTLISN G1 H HSEVSLSOST SVS For Sale Ry KURTZMAN, The Shoe Man Grand Rapids Mnnesoa Slereles. ! a GUARANTEED TO’OUT-WEAR ANY SHOE ON THE MARKET. SS ) SISX°SSSISBSTSVSLSISVSISLSS | SHSVSIVSVS LS TSISISISLSVWSVIES i Pioneer Meat Market, | THOMAS FINNEGAN, Prop. Fresh and || Fish, Game H Salt Meats | Poultry. etc ASK ne ee Sanus Gee Bes ans AND THEY WILL TELL YOU THAT THE VERY BEST MEATS OF KR MEAT Butter, Eggs, Cheese and Canned Goods g ODD PELLOWS’ BUILDING, LELAND AVENUE., GRAND RAPIDS. SIST SWSTVSLVSLSISLSISLSL HG“ SLSVSVES SVSISVISVISVSVISVSS Slee: Concrete Building Blocks Manufactured at Grand Rupids by »F. FREESTONE & CO. Fae Pe RO” als The most substan- tial and = ecomic building materia. were placed on the market, For the erection of Business and Residence, Buildings, Sidwalks, Ornamenal Fencing, Chi>1- neys, Etc. a z ee ened = . 3 Investigate and Be Convinced. . : PREM EHS CONS CHAN SHKSAHHS SHHeSE HP Hoe HGHReSeSt OOS A Favorite Resort for refreshments and where may be seen and heard one of the largest phonographs in the world is at Ae a Re ae | Pike she cbocheehe checks chesdeshecd 2 4 & ae 2 4 2 r e J 2 333 JOHNORILEY’S Sample Room The Northern. aaa tan tae a most delichtf{nl beverage always in stock—we are Agent for it in Grand #8 Rapids. Wehandle the finest whiskeys ever distilled. (33 . #3 Cabinet Rye Whiskey Chef. In it On- mn dey and night. All pe ett) hours. iy ia! All delicacies of the season HJOHN O’RILEY,Prop.i FHoeosesasaagsessegaeeee |! ‘geneenpenp cere scneonne eens OCR HEES COUSEROO EGO HOeS Keee b hch dese =