Grand Rapids Herald-Review Newspaper, January 30, 1904, Page 7

ASTING RELIEF, J. W. Walls, Super- intendent of Streets of Lebanon, Ky., says: “My nightly rest was broken, owing , to irregularities of the kidneys. I suffered intensely from severe pains | in the small of my back and through the kidneys and was annoyed by pain- ful passages of abnormal secretions. Doctors failed to relieve me. I began taking Doan’s Kidney Pills and I ex- perienced quick and lasting relief. Doan’s Kidney Pills will prove a bless- ing to all sufferers from kidney disor- ders who will give them a fair trial Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y., proprietors. For sale by all druggists, price 50 cents per box. — Seeking Something Appropriate. “Yes,” said the old inhabitant, “we thought we'd ought to do something nice for Bill after the funeral. He only had one fault. He couldn’t tell the truth.” “What did you do for him?” “Carved a little motto that his friends would understand—‘Let him lie in peace.”—Washington Star. SraTE oF Onto, CiTy OF TOLEDO, | gy. Li COUNTY. i Frank J. CuENEY makes oath that he {s senior parmer of the firm of F. J. CuEnry & Co., doing business in the City of Toledo, County and State aforesaid, and that said firm will pay the sum of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for each and every case of CATARRH that cannot be cured by the use of Havv’s CaTaRRE CuRE. FRANK J. CHENEY. Sworn to before me and subscribed in my pres- ence, this 6th day of December, A. D. 1886. i A. W. GLEASON, { seav} etme Notary Pusure. Hall's Catarrh Cure {8 taken {nternally and acts directly on the bloud and mucous surfaces of the system. Send for testimonials, free. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, 0. Sold by all Drugeists, 75c. Take Hall's Family Pills for constipation, Observed a Coolness. Count Boylon de Bakkoviisnek (to his rich American bride)—How does madam like ze climate of my coun- tree? His Bride—So far as your relatives represent it, count, I find it decidedly frigid ——Chicago Tribune. The U. S. Dept. ef Agriculture Gives to Salzer’s Oats its heartiest endorsement. Salzer’s New National Oats yielded in 1903 from 150 to 300 bu. per acre in 80 different States, and you, Mr. Farmer, can beat this in 1904, if you will. Salzer’s seeds are pedigree seeds, bred up through careful selec- tion to big yields. Salzer \ Home Builder Corp, 300 bu Speltz dnd Macaroni Wheat. 80 bu. alz Victoria Rape...... 60,000 Ibs. Teosinte, the quick- growing fodder wonder....160,000 Ibs, Ba Billion Dollar Grass. 50,000 lbs, 5: s Pedigree Potatoes.. 1,000 bu. Now such yields pay and you can have them, Mr. Farmer, in 1904. SEND 10¢ IN STAMPS and this notice to the John A. Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis., and you will get their big catalog and lots of farm seed samples free. (W. N. U.) Practical Youth. “That nephew of yours is a promis- ing looking young fellow. What does he run to mostly—money or brains?” “He has brains enough to run to run to money. He’s making a dead set at old Bullion’s daughter.”—Chicago ‘Tribune. A Rare Good Thing. “Am using ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE, and m y I would not have been without , had i known the relief it would ng feet. I think it a rare good ‘one having sore or tired feet.— Providence, R. 1.” Ask to-day. arthage’s Escape. Cato was demanding that Carthage should be destroyed. “Then why not send it to the laun- dry?” asked an irate senator. Appalied at the total annihilation im- plied, they voted to order out the ships instead—New York Sun. Heart by Dr. able pr: minute thetic h ration gives perfect relief in 80 all cases of organic or sympa- t disease and speedily effects a cure. It is a magic remedy for palpitation, sbortne f breath, smothering spells, pain in left side and all symptoms of a diseased heart. It also strengthens the nerves and cures the stomach. At Druggists, $1.00, or direct from Anglo-American Med. Co., Chi- cago. Tough on Them. THiawkins—I have lost all—not a thing remains. Robbins—But think of your friends. Hawkins—That’s so. It’s pretty hard on them, too.—Town Topics. To Cure a Cold in One day. Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All druggistsrefund money if it fails tocure, 25c, No More Than Right. Egbert—But I have never loved be- fore, and you have certainly encour- aged me! Elsie—And why not? I always en- courage a promising pupil.—Puck. PEREIN’S PILE SPECIFIC. The Internal Remedy that will cure absolutely any case of Piles. Insist on getting it from your Druggist. The man who likes club life never regards himself as the least bit self- ish. Ido not believe Piso’s Cure for Consumption bas an equal for coughs and colds._Joan F BorER, Trinity Springs, Ind., Feb. 15, 1900, Gentleness and good cheer—these come before all questions of morals. PUTNAM FADELESS DYES are fast to light and washing. A good push will scare the devil more than a whole lot of preaching, United States Pays to Foreign tries Annually $25,000,000. The United States can supply all the wants of its people for coal, iron, copper, petroleum, and all the useful minerals; gold and silver are also found in generous quantities, but of precious stones, the diamond, the ruby, the emerald, the topaz, etc., it has practically none, except what it has bought abroad. In 1902 we paid $25,000,000 to foreign countries for precious stones that we imported, while during that year precious stones of the value of only $338,000 were found within our borders. These were Dymeipally, sapphires from Montana, turquoises from New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada and California, and tourma- lines and chrysoprases from Califor- nia.—National Geographic Magazine. Easy. F In the temporary absence of the beauty editor, this question was hand- ed by mistake to the sporting editor: “How shall one get rid of superfiu-| ous hairs on the upper lip?” “That’s easy,” he wrote in reply. “Push the young man away.”—Chi- cago Tribune. No Cruelty. Traveler—Yes I was captured by the savages and sentenced to marry a squaw. 4sostess—Horrible! Traveler—Yes; but they had some mercy. They did not insist on a fash- ionable wedding.—New York Weekly. “Little Room. Cholly—I weally believe I’ve con- tracted a cold. Miss Peppery—Yes? Fj Cholly—Yaas, I feel it in my head. Miss Pepprey—Ah! if it’s in your head it must be contracted, for a fact. -—Philadelphia Press. One Short Puff Clears the Head. Does your head ache? Have you pains over your eyes? Is the breath offensive? These are certain symptoms of Catarrh. Dr. Agnew’s Catarrhal Powder will cure most stubborn cases in a marvellously short time. If you've had Catarrh a week it’s a sure cure. Ifit’s of fifty years’ standing it’s just as effective. 50 cts. at Druggists. Had Her Guessing. “Mary,’ ’said her mother, “how is that young man of yours getting along?” “Search me,” responded the maiden fair. “Sometimes I think he’s growing cold, and other times I think he’s sav- ing for the ring.”—New York Sun. Needed Protection. Guyer—A man down town last night offered to bet $1,000 that the Phila- delphias would win the penant this year. Myer—Did any one take him up? Gyer—Yes, a couple of policemen.— Chicago News. A Real Lady. Mrs. Nuritch—I think I'll take this bracelet. Are you sure it’s made of re- fined gold? Jeweler—Oh, yes. Mrs. Nuritch—Because I do detest anything that isn’t refined—Philadel- phia Public Ledger. Her Strong Point. Mr. Highmus—I can’t say I think much of the new kitchen girl’s cook- ing. Mrs. Highmus—I know she _ isn’t much of a cook, Horace, but it’s so restful to reflect that she’s perfectly baid.—Chicago Tribune. Needless Fears. Dina Ebony—Aunty, de papers say mebby de black plague will come to dis country. Aunt Ebony—Don’t you worry ’bout dat, honey. It won’t show on us.— New York Weekly. The Brute. “Hear about Jones beating his wife last night?” “Oh, no! Did he?” . “Yep. That woman never could play euchre.”—Fort Worth Record. DR. FED HIMSELF. Found the Food that Saved His Life. A good old family physician with a lifetime experience in saving people finally found himself sick unto death. Medicines failed, and—but let him tell his own story. “For the first time in my life of sixty-one years I am impelled to pub- licly testify to the value of a largely advertised article and I certainly would not pen these lines except that, what seems to me a direct act of Providence, saved my life and I am impressed that it is a bounden duty to make it known. “For 3 years I kept failing with stomach and liver disordérs until I was reduced 70 Ibs. from my nor-. mal weight. When I got too low to treat myself, 3 of my associate physi- cians advised me to ‘put my house in order,’ for I would be quickly going the way of all mankind. Just about that time I was put on a diet of Grape- Nuts predigested food- Curiously enough it quickly began to build me up, appetite returned, and in 15 days I gained 6 lbs. That started my re- turn to health and really saved my life. “A physician is naturally prejudiced against writing such a letter, but in this case I am willing to declare it from the housetops that the multi- plied thousands who are now suffering as I did can find relief and health as easily_and promptly by Grape-Nuts. If they only knew what to do. Sincerely and Fraternally yours.” Name of this prominent physician furnished by Pos- tum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. Look in each package for a copy of the famous little book, “The Road to Wellville.” She waé the only daughter of a re- tireu busiuess man, Wo’ nad once been eminent, He was a young and prosperous lawyer. She was of a mor- bidly poetical temperament'and looked at life always through a prism of sen- timent. He was unimaginative and practical. In a word, each was the complement of the other. “Are you sure, George,” she asked him, sighing, “that you really love me?” “Absolutely, dearest.” “And you will always love me?” “Forever.” He yawned and looked at his watch. They were half expecting a visitor. “I always used to say, dear, that I had told you all about myself—every- thing; that I was keeping nothing back from you. Iam so sorry!” Her eyes grew misty with tears. “I did not “ntend to deceive you. There is one— oly one—event of my life I had never métioned to you.” “Voll, and what is it?” he interrupt- ed a } tle irritably. She sank down on the rug beside him in an attitude of supplication and clasped her arms about his knees. “Did you know, dear, that I once used to write poetry?” “Well, many persons do that. It may be foolish, but it is not wicked.” “And about five years ago, dear, I collected all my poems into a volume and published them. I saw only one review, and that—it was in a paper called The Critic—Oh, George, it was cruel—cruel!” “Tf that is all—” “All! It humiliates me to think of it even now. Think how I suffered! The publicity—the disgrace! ‘These poems,’ he wrote—oh, do not ask me what he said!” “You silly thing! I don’t suppose even a millionth part of the world knew anything about it. Nobody reads reviews of books—except the men who write them.” “I could not regard it so stoically,” she sighed. “I cannot even now. ‘These babblings of incipient imbecil- ity.’ That was one of his phrases.” She shuddered at the recollection of it. Power of Human Eye Yhere is an old saying that any man can subdue a wild animal by merely lcoking into its eyes, and in- teresting stories are told of adven- turous hunters who have put the the- ory to practical test. An African sportsman had a unique experience in attempting to charm an ostrich. Approaching a large ostrich, he gazed fixedly at it, and to his delight the mesmeric glance seemed to meet with immediate success. The bird crouched and flapped its wings nerv- ously. Some hours later, however, the man’s body was found with the ostrich alternately sitting and jumping upon it. Another believer in the human eye experimented on a wild cat confined in a zoological garden. He afterward confessed that but for the wires of the cage his face would have been torn to pieces. A very different story is related of a@ man attached to an African hunting party. Wandering one day from camp, hoe, surprised two cub lions at play, and thoughtlessly commenced to amuse them. He was only too suc- ===—————— — ——— —— ———————_——_=_==—_— How Mackay Won Poo Mackay was an early riser, a hard worker, and, although exceedingly hos- pitable, was himself abstemious and could seldom be induced to play cards for money, and then only for nominal stakes. The only game that seemed to attract him was the “grasshopper races,” with which the mining super- intendents on the Comstock beguiled a portion of the noon hour, while wait- ing for luncheon at the Savage Com- pany hoisting house. Boys caught grasshoppers and sold them to the players at 25 to 50 cents each. Each player paid a fixed stake, ranging from $1 to $20, into the pool, and the man whose hopper made the longest jump captured the pool. On the day before Christmas it was agreed to celebrate that holiday with a pool, the stakes in which were to be $100 for each player. The terms were “play or pay,” and at the instance of a German pro- fessor who was allowed to use any means that he might devise to stimu- late his grasshopper. The professor ' “By Jove! Of course the best of critics are not angels, but yours must have been a—” “A heartless, heartless man!” “If it had been a man’s book—” “He may not have known I was a woman.” “You are too severe. No reviewer criticises a book till he has read the title page.” “But I did not use my name. I wanted to see if they would mistake my work for that of a man. I called it ‘Heart Longings,’ by Samuel Jenk- ins, but all my friends knew, so that really made no difference.” He had grown suddenly thoughtful. Taking the childish, pretty face be- tween his hands, he gazed down into her dreamy blue eyes. “4 “Come to think of it, I remember I have a secret which I have never dis- closed to you. So, after all, we are each as bad as the other.” Ske started and scanned his feat- ures eagerly. “You? A secret, George?” “Only a little one—like yours. I won't keep you in suspense. “We have both been sinners, and’I was the worse of the two. I must tell you, then. Before I was a successful lawyer I was a wicked young dog and did sev- eral scandalous things that I am ashamed of now.” ‘ She caught her breath and waited in an agony of expectation. “They were all of the same descrip- tion, but I am sorry on account of one in particular.” “And that?” “Well, being hard up, I used to earn odd money in all manner of odd ways. I was a flippant, self-satisfied brute, and—” He paused, and, putting an arm about her, drew her closer to him. “I have a heart now, you know I have, sweetheart, don’t you? But once upon a time—you have promised to forgive me and not to hate me—in the days when you published your book I ‘was—” “You—you—were—” “The heartless man who reviewed it!”—Philadelphia Ledger. cessful. The big cubs gamboled fear- lessly about him, and to his dismay refused to desist when he wished to leave them. Realizing the danger to which he would be exposed should the mother appear, he began to run, but the cubs refused to be shaken off, and in their play they scratched his legs in a fear- ful fashion. That the creatures were thoroughly enjoying themselves was evident from their manifestations of delight, and before long their unusual cries brought a lioness leaping to the spot. Trembling in every limb, the man faced the growling animal, while the cubs continued to jump at him, eager for further caresses. The enraged lioness moved round uneasily in a circle, man and beast keeping their eyes fixed steadily on each other. Sev- eral times the lioness crouched to spring, but the man, from fear, never shifted his. gaze. At length, after what seemed an age, when the man was ready to drop from exhaustion, the animal suddenly called her cubs away and disappeared inte the surrounding shrub. J was so full of his scheme to scienti- fically capture the $1,000 pool—for | there were ten entries—that he com- muunicated it to a young assayer who | was not a grasshopper plunger. The professor had experimented and as certained that a grasshopper that was touched by a feather dipped in a weak solution of acqua ammonia would jump for his life. The young man also experimented, and as a result he filled a bottle of the same size and ap- pearance with cyanide of potassium and managed to substiiute it for the other in the professor’s laboratory. The next day, when the professor, after much boasting about his scienti- fie attainments, dipped a feather in the substituted bottle and touched his insect with it, the grasshopper rolled over as dead as a salt mackerel, amid the roars of the crowd. Mackay’s hop- per won the big pool, and two widows, whose husbands had been killed in the Yellow Jacket Mine, received a gift of $500 each from an unknown source.—San Francisco Call. annem OOOO 0000 0 OOOO ees Took All He Could Get. An old tenant once took tea with a former Duke and Duchess of Buc- cleuch at Drumlanrig Castle, his grace’s Dumfriesshire estate. His first cup of tea was gone al- most before the duchess had poured it out. Again and again his cup was passed along to the head of the table. At the sixteenth cup the duchess be- came uneasy about the supply on hand. “How many cups do John?” she asked. “How mony do ye gie?” John asked, cannily. you take, Can This Be True? A foember of the last Legislature, ‘who had been elevated to his high sta- tion through machine methods, trav- eled to Harrisburg a few days in ad- vance of the opening session, says the Philadelphia Ledger. No one knew him at the capital, and he wandered out to Capitol Hill to look at the seat of government. He was anxious to learn, and so, accosting a workman in the building, requested to be shown the points of interest. “Well,” said the workman, as he opened a door, “this is ‘the senate chamber.” The stranger muttered “H—m!” “Come this way, now,” the guide continued, and he opened another door. “This is the House of Representa- tives.” For a few moments the new mem- ber seemed lost in contemplation; then he turned to the workman. “Say,” he remarked impatiently, “them rooms is all right, but I want to see where the Legislature meets.” ‘ferers, Peruna will cure you.” ,customers, it serves to keep them in ‘hopes of ever eT ‘MEDICA Of the United _ EXA States Treasury Recommends MINER Pe=-ru-na. Other Prominent Physicians Use and Endorse Pe-ru-na, R. LLEWELLYN JORDON, Medical Examiner of the U S Treasury De- partment, graduate of Columbia College, and who served three years at West Point, has the following to say of Peruna: «Allow me to express my grati- tude to you for the benefit derived from your wonderful remedy. One short month has brought forth a vast change and I now consider myself a well man after months of suffering. Fellow suf- A constantly increasing number of phy- sicians prescribe Peruna in their practice. It has proven its merits so Shoeaiehly) that even the doctors have overcome their prejudice against so-called patent medi- cines and recommend it to their patients. Peruna occupies a unique position in medical scieuce. It is the only internal systemic catarrh remedy. known to the medical profession to-day. Catarrh, as everyone will admit, is the cause of one- half the disease which afflicts mankind. Catarrh and catarrhal diseases afflict one- half of the people of the United States. Robert R. Roberts, M. D., Wash- ington, D. C., writes: “Through my own experience as well as that of many of my friends and acquaintances who have been cured or relieved of ca- tarrh by the use of Hartman’s Peruna, I can confidently recom- mend it to those suffering from such disorders, and have no hesitation in prescribing it to my paiients,’’— Robert R. Roberts. Dr. R. Robbins, Ba 1 writes: “Peruna is the best medicine I know of for coughs and to stengthen a weak stom- ach and to give appetite Besides pre- scribing it for catarrh, I have orde it for weak and debilitated Reape, and have not had a patient but it helped him. It is an excellent medicine and it fits so many cases. “T have a large practice, and have a chance to prescribe your Peruna. I hope you may live long to do good to the sick and the suffering. Dr. M. C. Gee writes from 513 Jones St., San Francisco, Cal.: “Peruna has performed so many won- derful cures in San Francisco that I am convinced that itis a valuable remedy. I have peony advised its use for! women, as I find it insures regular and inless menstruation, cures leucorrhea Muskogee, \" Dr. Llewellyn Jordan, Medical Examiner United States Treasury. PEPLAG 44444404044: and ovarian troubles, and builds up the entire system. I also consider it one of the finest catarrh remedies I know of2?— M.._C. Gee, M. D. Catarrh is a systemic disease curable only by systemic treatment. A remedy that cures catarrh must aim dijrectly at the depressed nerve centers. This is what Peruna does. Peruna immediately invigorates the nerve centers which give vitality to the mucous membranes, Then catarrb dis- appears. Then catarrh is permanently cured. If you do not derive prompt and satis- factory results from the use of Pernna write at once to Dr. Hartman, giving a full statement of your case, and he will be pleased to give you his valuable ad- vice grati: Address Dr. Hartman, President Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus, 01 THEO EEEDELHELHIE EERE LETH TEEE ESOL EEE THEE ESET OEEEOEEEEEE+ EOE COOOL E+EELSEEEEL EH EELEEE EEE E444 044400440440444000-000044 : j TELEPHONES AT TABLE. To Keep in Touch With Business Dur- ing Lunch Hours. What is described as the latest lux- ury—although to many people it would seem an intolerable nuisance— is the lunch table telephone. Placed on restaurant tables, when ordered by touch with their business or social connections. The merchant during his luncheon hour can thus be kept in communica- tion with his office, or when dining at the restaurant in the evening can book seats for the theater or make appoint- ments with his friends. In this way, it is claimed, busy men can utilize the time during which they are waiting for their meals to be served, and be kept constantly advised of the progress of important commer- cial transactions, the rise and fall of stocks, and the like——Cassell’s. Cynic’s Theory, “When is a girl most undeniably in love?” “That’s easy. When she denies it most vehemently.”—Kansas City Jour- nal. A Dentist’s Advice. Toledo, Ohio, Jan. 25th.—Mr. Harry L. Lewis, Dentist, 607 Sumit street, this city, says: “I certainly advise anyone, no matter how severe they may have Kidney Trouble, to take Dodd’s Kidney Pills. “I was troubled with Kidney Dis- ease for several years and Dodd’s Kid- ney Pills cured me. I had used many so-caJled remedies without any benefit. Four months ago I was flat on my back with this painful trouble and must say that 1 almost gave up getting any better. Through a friend’s advice I purchased six bottles of Dodd’s Kidney Pills. “At first I could see but little bene- fit, but after two weeks, I could see an improvement. I had been getting up several times at night and pains in my back were very severe. When | I had taken six boxes I felt better than I had for years. The pain had all gone and I didn’t have to get up during the night at all. 1 continued | the treatment until I had used several more boxes, and now I am glad to say that I am completely cured.” Candor. “We will never give up!” said the South American military leader. “Give up what?” asked the coldly practical man. And after a moment of reflection the military leader candidly replied: “Anything we can get our hands on. ” Teosinte and Billion Dollar Grass. The two greatest fodder plants on earth, one good for 14 tons hay and the other 80 tons green fodder per acre. Grows everywhere, so does Victoria Rape, yielding 60,000 Ibs. sheep and swine food per acre. JUST SEND 10c IN STAMPS TO THB John A. Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse, ‘Wis., and receive in return their big catalog and lots of farm seed samples, Cw. N. 0.) Singularity. “Every day he thanks the Lord that he is not as other men are.” “Ah? Pharisee or freak?”—Puck. BEGGS’ CHERRY COUGH Attempted Too Much. “The disguise of that woman pick- pecket who wore a masculine attire was absolutely perfect. How did the detectives happen to spot her?” “I believe they noticed a certain awkwardness in her attempt to strike a match man fashion.”—Chicago Trib- une, Giles @rholisaive Instantly stops the pain of Burns and Scalds. Always heals without scars, 5 .and 5c by drapatete, or mailed on receip! of price by J.W. Cole & Co., Black River Falis, Vis KEEP A BOX HANDY MEXICAN Mustang Liniment cures Sprains and Strains, National Oats Greatest oat of the century, Yielded in 1903 in Ohio 187, In Mich. 231,in Mo. 255, and in N. Dakota 310 bus. per acre You we mail you free lots of farm seed sainples and otr big catalog, tell- ing al! about this oat wonder and thousands of other seeds. CAPSICUM VASELINE (PUT UP IN COLLAPSIBLE TUBES) A substitute for and superior to mustard or any other plaster, and will not blister the mos delicate skin.» The pain-allaying and cu’ qualities of this article are wonderful. It stop the toothache at once, and relieve head- ache and sciatica. Werecommend itas the best and safest external counter-irritant k: 2s an external remedy for pains and stomach and all rheumatic, n gouty complaints, A trial will prov: claim for it, and it will be found to able in the household. Many peop) the best of all your preparations."’ cents, at all druggists or other deale sending this amount to us in postage will send you a tube by mail. No arti: be accepted by the public umiess th« carries our label, as otherwise it is not ge2uin' CHESEBROUGH MFG. Co., 17 State Street, New Your Crry. PORTRAIT AGENTS #ie3* Ourgoodsthe best. Prices the lowest, Prompt sh!p- ments. Delivery of all portraits guaranteed. Fiegent samples and rolls free. Send for catalogue. Addrese ADAM J. KROLL-CO,, New Era Building, Chicago. ne ie. 2 2s Virginia Farms Productive roi! delightful climate. Free Catalogue, B.B.CHAFFIN & Co., Incorp., Richmond, Va JOHN W. MORRIS, NSIO} Washington, D.C, Tatsorene ay Froseeutes, Claims: 3yrs in civil war, 15 adjudicating claims, atts since. Teemuceea "tt Thompson’s Eye Water When Answering Advertisements Kindly Mention This Paper. N. W. N. U. —NO. 5— 1904. S CURE FOR 1» SE meee — ” in time, Sold by drngeists. A “" -GONSUMPTION. %&