Grand Rapids Herald-Review Newspaper, April 18, 1903, Page 4

Published Everv By EC. KILEY. © “WO DULLARS A Y@ It IN ADVANG | Rotered in the Postoffice at Grand Rapids “Minnesota, 2s Secoud-Class Mather — 8 WITH ‘THE SAGES. ~~ Qiberality consists rather in giving | seasonably than amuch.—Cicero. People seldom, improve when they have no model but themselves to-.eopy after.—-Goldsmith. Nobieness of character is nothing else but steady love of good and steady scorn of evil.—Epictetus. Our character is but the stamp on our souls of the free choices of good and evil we have made through life — G@kic He who will not give some portion of his ease, his blood, his wealth, for others’ good, is a poor frozen churl.— Joanna Baillie. ‘That alone can be called true refine- ‘hi¢h+elevates the soul of man, ‘ th@ manners by improving lect.—Coleridge. Remember that life is neither pain nor pleasure; it is serious business, to be entered upon with courage and in # spirit of sel sacrifice-—De Tocque ville No true man can live a haif life when he has genuinely learned at it is only a half Mfe. The other half— the higher half—must haunt him.— Pillips Brooks, i Life is no idle dream, but a solemn reality, baged on and encompassed by’ eternity. Find out your work, and stand to it; the night cometh when no man can work.—Carlyle. Thoughts of virtue lead to virtuous s; actsvoi virtue ripen into hab- and the goadly and permanent re- s the formation or establishment splt of @ virtuous. character.—Chalmers. Experience sarves to prove that the worth and strength of a state depend far iess upon the form of its institu- tions than upon the character,of its men; for the nation is only the aggre- gate of the individuai conditions, and eivilization itself is but a questio® of persona! improvement. —- Samuel Smiles. 4 SOME POSTSCRIPTS. The word “pen” means 2 feather, and is from the Latin penna, a wing. Torioise shell, however old, can be kept bright by polishing it occasionally with rouge powder. i It is claimed that you can drive vails into hard wood without bending them if you dip them first in lard. German farms occupy nearly 1,000,- | 000 acres in Central America on which ever 20,000,000 coffee trees are planted. A dollar loaned for a hundred years and compounded at 24 per cent will} nmount in that time to $2,551,799,404. | The aidest staiue of the world is of ' the sheik of an Egyptian village. It is | believed to be not Jess than 6,000 years eld. Steam power js almost au impossi- bility in Southern China, fuel being ; ene of the most expensive. Chinese | wxuries, | The assessed value of real estate in | the State of New York, according to | ihe board of equalization, is $5,169, | 208,070) * | Rey. Dr. W. D. Parr of Kokomo, ; “verYoucy: WHEN’ DRUNK. Qualification” Not Absolutely Essential . to a Minister. A preacher in Topeka, Kan., tells this ‘story relative to another member =| of “the cloth,” an@ inferentially the ‘tale must be true: - _“A church at Anadarko was consid- ering the mejits of a pastor who had applied for the pastorate. ‘The deac- ons had been-told that a lawyer of the | town had kifown the pastor intimate- ly. They went to him and asked for a statement of the qualifications of the candidate. ‘Yes, I know Brother very well,’ said the lawyer. ‘I went to college with him, and I at- tended his church after he entered the ministry. He is scholarly, able and eloquent and I am sure you will like him.’ The deacons thanked the lawyer and were going\away when he called to them in consequence of an afterthought, ‘I don’t know as it makes any difference,’ said he apolo- getically, ‘but perhaps I should tell /you that he’s as ugly as h—l when he’s drunk.’” A LITTLE TOO PREVIOUS. Boy’s Parting Shot at the Professor Was Ill-Timed. In a public school in the northwest section it is the custom for the super- vising principal to receive “Good the pupils on entering and leaving tae school. It was rather repulsive for one boy, who evaded the custom as often as possible. One Friday after- noon he saluted the principal with the startling farewell, “Go to the dev- il, professor,” and ran out of the school. The professor became very angry byer -the affair, and thought over several plans of punishment to mete out on the following Monday morning. Monday morning came, and with it-the boy, who sat on a bench outside the class room. When the professor appeared,,he began to cry, and loudly explained: “Oh, profess- or, don’t expel me; we were going to | move away from here on Friday, and now we ain't.” It is needless to say Ledger. Modern Scarecrows. So many cases cf troublesome short cireuiting of electric wires have oc- curred recently by owls, crows, hawks, eagles, etc., lighting on the wires that the Elegtrical Review sug- gests the expedient of putting scare- crows on the tops of the poles. The electrical inventors have found ways to head off most of the technical trou- bles of electric distribution, but these pranks of animz!s are more difficult to prevent. When a bird or cat makes. ja bridge between two highly charged wires it is instantly eremated by the current, but this is smajl satisfaction for the damage and scare at the cen- tral station that.tris sudden shert cir- enit causes, Certainly Not. When you see a young man sitting in a drawing room with the ugliest 4- year-old boy that ever frightened him- self in a mirror clambering over his knees, jerking his necktie out of place, ruffling his shirt-front, pulling his hair, kicking his shins, feeling in all his pockets for coppers, while the unresisting victim smiles all the time like the cover of a comic paper, you may safely say that the howling boy has a sister who is in a room not ind., has officiated at 106 chureh dedi- | man doesn’t come there just for the that,” replied the butler, “for he dee’d eations, which is thought to be the! world’s record. 4 At Plinitz, near Dresden, is the larg: | est camelia in Envope. It is 160 years | old, about fifty feet hish and has 40,- ‘ 00 blossoms each season. ALL SORTS. An early crop—the small boy’s first | hair-cut. | With some 5-cent cigars you get at | ieast six scents, ~ Qhe eight-day clock is a hard worker and # chronic striker. Sometimes it is his lie-abilities that increase a man’s assets. Much of the charity that begins at nome is too feeble to get next door. Any small bey in his first pair of srougers feels sorry for his mother. The skin-deep beauty of the rhin- | oceros isn’t calculated to make him vain. } When it comes to a question of stay- ing qualities the undertaker can lay the pugilist out. Lf it is true that the good die young ft is up to the oldest inhabitant’ to offer an explanation. A cynic is a man whose disappoint- twenty fect away, and that the young fun of playing with her brother. Religicus Zeal Too Strong. John Newdick, a citizen of Kokomo, Ind,, js of a strongly religious turn, but Mrs. Newdck is a trifle unregen- erate. The other evening John an- | nounced family prayers, but at ‘that moment it was inconvenient for his wife to attend, as her hands were “in the dough.” John was already on his knees, but he arose and thrashed his irreligious spouse, after which he concluded his devctional excrcises | with all dye reverence. Mrs. Newdick | you see, if some one had taken a cou- had him 4p before a magistrate next | morning and nis excess of zeal cost: at jeast half a him $25 and cos Chiet Justice J. M. Fitzsimmons of the New York city court told a good story recently of his experiences in the oi] regions many years ago. They were WO: hard for a “strike,” and poring nigat and day, and, as the | evenings ‘vere cold, a fire was built. ‘One night a vein was struck from | which the gas rushed to a height of over a hundred feet, and a stream of fire shot into the air. The foreman, ment is due to the fact that the world was made without his advice. It sometimes happens that a man puts both money and confidence in a bank-—-and later draws out his confi- | dence. A Kansas inan boasts of running the only strictly third-class hotel in the country. It is »p to other landlords indignantly to deny this assertion. CAREFULLY THOUGHT OUT. He who gains tithe gains a good friend. One must suffer in order to tolerate the sufferings of others. The manager of an opera company is justified in putting on airs. A cat has'nine lives—and at least | eight of them are devoted to vocal culture, 3 Consider the man who is always on time—and the time he wastes in wait- ing for other men. \ A man may be reasonably sure his friends will not forget him as long as he owes them money. Tim McCarty, rushed to the door with ‘a yell, “Get up, get up, Fitzsimmons. | We've broke through into hell.” | 4 ee Mrs. Meekton Was Ready. “Henrietta,” said Mr. Meekton, ‘did you hear that lecture in which it was stated that_the fact that Adam arrived on earth before Eve indicated that men should assume a_ certain | precedence over women?” “I did,” | was the somewhat icy reply. “Isn't it absurd? It simply shows that Adam } was expected to get the garden in shape for Eve’s comfort, just as the modern man and It Star. the fire.”—-Washington | | Better Than the Locomotive. Passing the Ac catcbes them. They fancy h admission has been marked gain.”—New York Times. morning” and “Good afternoon” from | he was not expelled—Philadelphia , emy of+Music one; from @ dolar and can’t resist the bar-— "....». et Country, if they were not married.” | THE QUESTION OF SHAPE: New York Writer Says the World Is Mad on the Subject. ‘The world is gone mad on strength and shape, says “Tip” in th: New York Press. Magazines and spa- pers are alive with advertise methods of acquiring the muscle of Hercules, the arms of Venus, the neck of Juno, the bust: of Vesta, the waist of Josephine, the hips of Diana, the legs of Cleopatra. Minerva is for the moment in the Hackground. No hope for’ wisdom now! Women are dis- played in impossfble positions and ad- vised to repéat certain poses, Mrs. ‘Cutex asked Mrs. Butex, “How do you keep your front so fiat, my dear?” Mrs. Butex replied: “Oh, Iam under instructions, Thirty times in the morning and thirty times in the even- ing I pick up each foot in my hands and touch the tce to the tip of my ear. You can have no idea how much it has reduced my front, certainly several inches and some pounds.” | “Do you stand up and do that?” “Necessarily; stand on one foot while | the other is in the air.” “Merciful | heavens!” AGREED ON THEIR VERDICT. , Me Bee eaten ay ag one ee — i Jurymen Had Made Up Their Minds, and So Affirmed. At Foit Scott (Kan.) the other day | : ct court returned certain accused | person ony. The verdict | j had not- be in the, tech: nical f idge sent the ju necessary | The jury was gone for and when it returned it brought in a verdict acquitting the prisoner. But a verdict even more amusing was perpetrated by a jury at Pittsburg. The » was a criminal one, and alter a few minutes’ consul tation the jury filed into the box from its room. verdict?” as responded the over. “The clerk judge. And the cler' jury, agree to disag t eS GB ct Worn Only Twice. ‘thé Scandinavian &ridegroom pre sents to his betrotied a prayer-book and many other gifts, which usually include a goose. he, in turn, gives him, especially in Sweden, a shirt, and this he invariably wears on his wed: ding day. Afterwards he puts it away, and in no circumstances will he wear it again while alive. But he wears it in his grave, and there are Swedes who earnestly believe not only in the resurrection of the body, but in the veritable resurrection of the betrothal shirts of such husbands as have never broken any of their marriage vows. The Swedish widower must destroy on the eve oi his second marriage the brida! shirt which his first wife gave him. correetions. half an hour ve, yout Couldn’t Be Very Sure. The recent St. Andrew's dinners, ac: ; cording to the Westminster Gazette, have been noteworthy for the profu- sion of Scotch stories, which in sev- ; eral cases fairly set the tables in a rear. Some of them have an ancient | ving, but there is one that is perhaps , not generally known. A doctor was attending a dangerous case where a Scotch butler was engaged, On calling in the forenoon he said to Donald: “I j hope your master’s temperature is much lower to-day than it was last | nfght.” “I'm no’ sae very sure aboot this morning.” j s \ Worth Watching. ' A. treasury official was fortunate | enocgh the other day to get half a ton | of coal. The precious fuel was depos- {ted on bis sidewalk late in the aiter- noon and a colored man agreed to put it away for a quarter, When he had firished the job the mam presented a bill for 35 cents, “Why, f thought you said a quarter,” said the officeholder. }“A quarter for putting it in, but 10 cenis extra to pay a man to watch it. ‘ple of handfuls you would have lost dollar."--New York | World. | H Be aE RaMirnt Bs ON The Sleepy Hour of Night. A head-on collision between twe freight trains on the Southern Pacific in California was due to the careless- ‘ness of the engineer of one of the | trains, who slept at his post and paid the forfeit with his Ife. Manager Al- | ger of the Southern Pacific says that the company has great trouble on ac- count of men succumbing to sleep be- | tween 3 and 4 in the morning. This | was the time at which the accident | | occurred. It is the sleepy hour that : affects men more than any other of \ the day er night. ‘ 4 How to Achieve Success. | Often we see bright boys who have | worked, perhaps for years, en small | | salaries, suddenly jumping, as if by | magic, into high and responsible posi- | tions. Why? Simply because, while | ‘their employers were paying them but +a few dollars a week, they were pay- | | ing themselves vastly more in the fine quality of their work, in the enthusi- -asm, determination and high purpose gets up in the morning they brought to their tasks, and in increased insight into business meth- | ods.—-Suecess. i i A Puzzled Youngster. “Mamma,” said a little boy, “when matinee day, | met a friend coming: were George Washington and England out. “What is (!< matter,” I asked; | married?” “Way, Lawrence,” an- “play bad?” “No,” he replied, “but it; swered the mother, “what do you is too hot in there; the house is liter-; mean? Washington was a man and ally packed with women. You see, i England is a country. They could not | it’s the name—Ninety and Ninc’—that | be married, my dear.” ‘‘Then,” replied the | the youthful philosopher, “I don’t ses | why they call Washington the Father of his Country and England the Moth- _ CHARITY ON A BROAD SCALE. |-bay Martinique Relief Fund with a) | “Here 1 *m,” and remained standing | “Where is the hypocrite?” Gently nudging his neighbor, tte .drunkard | said, in an audible whisper: “Stand ‘up, deacon; he means you this time. | who is a worker and a sticker he is ¥ | gloomy view, when the duke, lighting An Indian’Millionaire Gives Five Mil- lions to Relieve Sufferers. Naurojee Maneckjee Wadia, C.'I. E., J. P., a Parsee millionaire of Bombay, has set aside’a sum of money equiva- lent to $5,000,000, the interest of which is to be devoted.to give relief: to those who find ‘themselves sud- denly deprived of means of subsistence by great calamities,:such as’ fire, fam-'; ine or earthquake. ‘In order that’ his charity should be ‘far "reaching in its effects, the scope of ‘the trust willnot ke confined to one place or country, | but will pe extended*to-all parts of the world. Mr. Wadia-belongs to an an cient Parse2 family of shipwrights, who Lave, during the course of a’cen- tury and w half, built 355 men-of-war and other vessels. The Wadias ren- dered great service to the French gov- ernment, and as an act of recognition Napoleon Bonaparte presented the great-grandfather of the present Mr. Wadia with the Legion of Honor, and his grandfather was awarded a gold medal by Louis Philippe. Mr. Wadia has given away large sums of money in charity, and lately headed the Bom- | large donacion. WAS THE DEACON’S TURN. { Drunkard’s, Advice to Pillar of a Phil-| adelphia Church. i A drunken man staggered into a church in Philadelphia some years ago and sat down in the. pew of one of the deacons. The preacher was dis- coursing about prevalent popular vices. Soon he exclaimed. “Where js the drunkard?” The drunken man was just far crough gone to think the call personal, .so, rising heavily, replied: while the drunkard’s character and fate were eloquently portrayed. A few minutes later ‘he preacher reached an- other hea? of his discourse, and asked: Stand up and take it like a man, just as I stand! It will do you good.” The Invincible Country Boy. A glance at a list of the great men of the big cities of the United States will prove beyond a donbt that the country-bred boy is far superior to his city-born cousin in point of busi- ness and professional ability and gen- eral capacity. Many reasons are ad- vanced for the success of the country boy in the large cities, but the one that seems to hit the nail on the head is that the youngster of the provinces is taught to work, and by this is meant a good honest day’s work, one of |} twelve hours. He is a sticker, too, || who is willing to start in at the bot- tom, and when you find a country boy Cl eSeSe SLSSSLSLES p) ¥, Now as to Your Winter # Suits and Overcoat 1 have the goods that will please you, styfes that aresuperb, and that’s all I need announce -the hundreds of suits worn in Grand Rapids to-day attest.to my skill as a “Fitter of Man.” Call and see © : Whose Prices are Always Right. = ad MMM , ost A. E. WILDER,*Prop. i: cad -CLASS IN EVERY RESPECT. PSS. Dest Sample Room and Livery in Connection bad *, Spectal Attention Given to Transient Trade. Headquarters for Luimbermen. iz } One halt Block From Depot. Well, Well! Here We Are Again! With a pull line of Windows and Doors. We have the most complete line west of Duluth. .We also have a large line of Screen Doors and Windows, all sizes, all colors, and all prices. We also carry a tull line of Ptasterers’ Material, such as Lime, Brick, Hair, Cement and Wall Plaster. Call on d.d. DECKER, , at the Lumber Office, or "Phone No. 9. ¥) invincible. You can’t keep him down. ~Salt Lake Telegram. EESUSSECASSSE TOS SO TERD ERS OR ESOS ESSE EOAE ERO hS < eee Soe ee | ie y ae = A FaveriteResort “Now, Griter "eal the conserva- Sas av Pl © es r = tive, “I want to convince you that | 332 for refreshments and whore may be seen and heard op bo your what you call kigaer criticism is | ane of the largest phonographs in the world is at = wrong, and that the only way to do is | $33 ’ ’ * to take the Bible asa simple act of | gee DNO. O'REILY’S HQiriple KOOM : faith. I have answered every one 6f gee ' . your arguments, ard, leoki SRS fairly, why shouldn't you | see The Northern. : I do?” “Do you believe, | eee r} * a t delightful beverage always t Gein Gae, Silk solemnly $22 Cabinet Rye Whiskey sm cei iene ors in Grand af rs § #%% Rapids. We handle the finest whiskeys ever distilled. * i lieve, that the whale was swallowed aoe 3 i by Jonah?” “Oi course I do!” replied 2 BRS the conservative, eagerly. “Well,” the | ##% NO THE N CAFE Doc. Welsh, Chef. other observed, over his shoulder, “I) 22% $ am afraid you will never convince me | ### In connection—open.day and night. All delicacies of the Scag * of that. Good night.”—Washington | ### served at all’ hours, By 4 eae . ¥ Times. a35 > = a ORM iley, Prop.: , Anima? Food. i poo Sy 9 2 | — Aceordin cont rary a Ree ah SNE 8 SmpOT Ae, Sa: OMl: i Rosse nnsexcrssseeRERnassenosconsncessossesenees « Scotsman—and he must be now very | old indeed—wko was addicted to par- simony, was found by a visitor to be | ~ manifestly suffering from want of food. | He was strongly urged to take some | animal food, and promised that he | would; but presently thought better | of it and thus delivered his final ver- | dict: “Weel,” he said, “I’m willing | to try a turnip or maybees an onion, but I’m blest if I'l eat straw.” The decision showed which way the wind | blew with him.—London Globe. — Not a Protest. Representative Mudd o. Maryland | has frequently been in conflict with | the other members of his delegation | over the question of patronage. “At | last I have succeeded in placing two | men without receiving protests from | every other member 6f the delega- tion,” declared Mr. Mudd. Who are | they? Charles Carroll of Carrollton | and John Hanson, two of Maryland’s | most distinguished sons.” Mr. Mudd; meant the two new bronze statues | ‘Maryland has placed in Statuary hall. | An Easy Solution. The duke of Wellington, while a member of the British ministry, once turned a crawn battle into a glorious victory. When the news of the bloody action of Ferozhubr, in India, arrived | there was great consternation in the | ministry; at best it. was a drawn bat- tle. Sir Robert Peel was much affect- ed at the council taking a most up, said: “Make it a victory; fire a salute and ring the bells”; and so it was ordered and done. : The Season. | “An!” sighs the gentle damsel, “see | the bare limbs on the beech. Doeg not that bring*forcibly to one’s mind the sorrowful fact that simmer has gone? How many pleasant recollec: jions of the summer such a sight calle ap, don’t you think?” “Well, to tell yea the truth,” replied the candid youth, “I have never been on the beach in summer.”—Judge. is GEO. BOOTH, Manuf, { i, ee Cigars’ | MINN l : GRAND RAPIDS, f —-—. ° Have achieved an excellent i BOOTH S CIGARS reputation all over Northern I} Minnesota. They are made fl of ‘the finest selected stock by experienced workmen in Mr. Booth’s own shops here, and under his personal supervision. This insures the utmost cleanliness «nd care in manufacture: For sale everywhere. Call for them. teS2SeSseqeseSseses Sareea \ rpese5i wo