Grand Rapids Herald-Review Newspaper, April 4, 1903, Page 3

VERV UGLY WHEN DRUNK. Seattle! Qualification Not Absolutely Essential to a Minister. A preacher in Topeka, Kan., tells this story relative to another member of “the cloth,” and ifferentially the tale must be true:” “A church et Anadarko was consid- ering tho merits ef a pastor who had applied for the pastorate. Tho deac- ons had been-teld that a lawyer of the town. had: known the pastor intimate- jy, They went to him and asked for @, Statement of the qualifications of the candidate. ‘Yes, I know Brother very. well,” said thegawyer. ‘I went: to college with him, and I at- tended -his church after he entered | the ministry. Ho. is scholarly, able and elaquent and | am sure you will like him.’ lawyer and were going away when he called to them in consequence of an * afterthought, ‘I dcn’t know as it makes any difference,’ said he apolo- getically, ‘but perhaps I “should tell you that he’s as ugly ag h—1 when he’s drunk.” A LITTLE TOO PREVIOUS. Boy’s Parting Shot at the Professor | Was Ul-Timed. In a public school in the northwest section it is the custom for the super- vising principal to receive “Good morning” and ‘Good afternoon” from the pupils on entering and leaving the schcol. {t was rather repulsive for one boy, who evaded the custom as often as possible. One Friday after- neon he saluted the principal with The deacons thanked the j “THE QUESTION OF SHAPE. New York Writer Says the World Is Mad on the Subject. The world is gone mad on strength and shape, says “Tip” in the New York Press. Magazines and » pers are alive with advertise: methods of acquiring the muscle of Hercules, the arms of Venus, the neck of Juno, the bust of Vesta, the waist of Josephine, the hips of Diana, the | legs-of Cleopatra. Minerva is for the moment in the background. for wisdom now! Women are dis- played in impossible positions and ad- vised to repeat certain poses. Mrs. | Cutex asked Mrs. Butex, “How do you keep your front so flat, my dear?” Mrs. Butex replied: “Oh, 1 am under instructions. Thirty times in the morning and thirty times in the even- ing I pick up each foot in my hands and touch the tee to the tip of my ; ear. You can have no idea how much | it has reduced my front, certainly several inches and some pounds.” “Do you stand up and do that?” | “Necessarily; stand on one foot while | the other is in the air.” “Merciful , | heavens!” AGREED ON THEIR VERDICT. Jurymen Had Made Up Their Minds, and So Affirmed. At Fort Scott (Kan.) the other day | | a jury in the District court returned | a verdict finding a certain accused | person guilty of larceny. The verdict had not been prepared in the tech: | | nical form desired and the judge sent the jury back to make the necessary | No hope | "CHARITY ON A BROAD 8CALE. | An Indian Millionaire Gives Five Mit lions to Relieve Sufferers. Naurojee Maneckjee Wadia, C. I. E., J. P., 2 Parsee millionaire of Bombay, has set aside a sum of money equiva- lent to $5,000,000, the interest of which is to be deveted to give relief to those who find themselves sud- | denly deprived of means of subsistence | by great calamities, such as fire, fam- ‘ine or earthquake. In order. that his charity should be far reaching in its effects, the scope of the trust will not | be confined to one place or country, but will be extended to all parts of the world. Mr. Wadia belongs to an an , cient Parse> family of shipwrights, | who hava, during tae course of a cen- \tury and # half, built 359 tsen-ot-war | and other vessels. The Wadias ren- dered great service to the French gov- ernment, and as an act of recognition Napoleon Bonaparte presented the great-grandfather of the present Mr. Wadia with the Legion of Honor, and his grandfather was awarded a gold medal by Louis Philippe. Mr. Wadia has given away large sums of money in charity, and lately headed the Bom- bay Martinique Relief Fund with a large donacion. WAS THE DEACON’S TURN. (fie kt Drunkard’s Advice to Pillar of a Phil- | adelphia Church. A drunken man staggered into a church in Philadelphia some years ago and sat down in the pew of one of themdeacons, The preacher was dis- coursing about prevalent popular ' ses | Tlorsemen of this county are wach ‘pleased with the advent of ‘Paul » Sprague” to the farm of. J. M, East- wood on Trout lake. This magnifl- cent animal will get a number of colts next season in this vicinity. He is.a beautiful jet black, 6 years old, 154 hands high, weighing 1,075 /pounds. In style and form he is much jlike his site and grand dam: long ; beck, high head, eyes large and | bright, short back. Jong body, deep , Shoulders, bas hair as fine as silk, and his appearance is exceedingly geace- ful. Pedigree:--Paul Sprague was sired py Beaver Dam Boy, who is registered in Wallace’s) American Trotting Register No. 10,364; he sired by Badger Rprague, No. 1,097; dam Lue K., by Swigert No. 650. Badger Sprague by Gov. Sprague No. 444, Who also sired Kate Sprague, (2:18, ; with thirty others in the 2:30 class) placing him at the head of speed pro- ducing stallions of his age. Dam Beaver Dam Boy, Badger Girl (2:223)¢ byBiack Flying Cloud No 378; Gov Sprague by Rhode Island No. 267, ; Dam, Bell Brandon by Hamiltonian | No. 15, who stands at the bead of | Speed producing stallions of any age; \ ; having 40 performers i 2:30 class. | } Par of Paul Sprague. Jennie Lind, (ER ae oe ae ae Re EE a a EEE ae ee N. A . PAONAULT Tee ae Pioneer. Barber Shop Your Patronage Solicited. LELAND AVENUE. Sb ES a ee ee eae ae a ae ae ae es eas bbe gd dashed A Sa eae ae he ae aE ae ae ae a Movements are ? GC. SMITH 3 4 : DEALE@ IN : : Fruits, Confectionery, % = Ice Cream Soda, z 2 lee Cream, Drinks, Hi £ ‘Tobaccos, | é Choice Lines of Cigars 3 = Grand Rapids, - Minn. = 4 "THIRD ST., Opp. Depot. 2 Fovusqnusgassseanessaeases * RESETS TEAR TERE AEE REE AD he RE a a | ly Father M rt -. PURE RI WHEL A Masterpiece of Djatillat It is absolutely free from ign ingredients. Its. boque comes solely from: the grain, and the amber color.from the oak fa | which it is kept. . Real age has accomplish and take the place of e: blending, and the addition flavoring oils, prune juice, se - rine, glycerine, etc., which?! fs often used to make new whi palatable. Father Marquette — | is a natural, pure, perfect artiole | ripened only by rel, 4 | recommended to t high-grade’pure -artivle. John Hepfel Sole Agent ; te GRAND RAPIDS,) BRICK LIME vices. Soon he exclaimed. “Where is’ sireq by St. James. the drunkard?” The drunken man was | : just far enough gone to think the call | personal, so, rising heavily, replied: | the startling farewell, “Go to the dev- | corrections. The jury was gone for il, professor,” and ran out of the | haif an hour, and when it returned it | school. ‘The professor became very | brought in a verdict acquitting the angry over the atfair, and thought | prisoner. But a verdict even more Notice of Expiration of Redemption over several plans of punishment to mete out on the following Monday morning. Monday morning came, and with it the boy, who sat on a bench | outside the class room. When the professor appeared, he began to cry, _ and loudly explained: “Oh, profess- or, don’t expel me; we were going to | move away from here on Friday, and | now we ain’t.”. It is needless to say: he was not expelled.—®hiladelphia Ledger. 4 ~ Modern Scarecrows. So many cases of troublesome short circuiting of electric wires have oc- curred recently by owls, crows, hawks, eagles, etc., lighting on the wires that the Hlectrical Review sug- | gests the expedient of putting scare- crows on the tops of the poles. The electrical inventors have found ways ; to head off most of the technical trou- bles of electric ‘distribution, but these pranks of animals are more difficult to prevent. When a bird or cat makes a bridge between two highly charged wires it is instantly cremated by the | current, but this is small satisfaction for the damage.and scare at the cen- tral station that this sudden short cir- cuit ' causes. Certainly Not. When you see a young man sitting in a drawing room with the ugliest 4- year-old boy that ever frightened him-' self in a mirror clambering over his | knees, jerking his necktie out of place, ruffling his shirt-front, pulling | his hair, kicking his shins, feeling in all his pockets fer coppers, while the unresisting victim smiles all the time like the cover of a comic paper, you may safely say that the howling boy has a sister who is in a room not twenty feet away, and that the young man doesn’t come there just for the fun of playing with her brother. Religious Zeal Too, Strong. John Newdick, a citizen of Kokomo, fid., is of a-strongly religious turn, but Mrs. Newdick is a trifle unregen- | erate. The-other evening John an- nounced family prayers, but at that moment it was inconvenient for his wife to attend, as her hands were “in the dough.” John was already on his knees, but he arose and thrashed his irreligicus spouse, after which he concluded his devctional with all due reverence. Mrs. Newdick had hinf’ up before a magistrate next morning and nis excess of zeal cost him $25 and costs.—Exchange. Natural Cause for Alarm. Chief Justice J. M. Fitzsimmons of the New York city court told a good of his experiences in 3 Many years ago. They g hard fer a “strike,” and at and day, end, as the evenings were cold, a fire was built. One night a vein was struck which the fire shot irto the air. Tim McCarty, rushed to the door with a& yell; et up, get up, Fitzsimmons, We've broke through into hell.” Mrs. Meekton Was Ready. “Henrietta,” said Mr. Meekton, “did you hear that lecture {n which it Was sta that the fact that Adam arrived on earth before Eve indicated that men should assume a certain precedence cver women?” — “I> did,” was the somewhat icy reply. “Isn't it absurd? It simply shows that Adam was expected to get the garden in ghave for Eve’s comfort, just as the orning modern man gets up in the mo nd (lights. tre fire.”—Washington Star. Better Than the Locomotive. Passing the Academy of Music one matinee day, | met a friend coming » out. “What is the matter,” I asked; “play bad?” “no,” be replied, “but it is too hot in there; the house fs liter- ally packéd with women. You see, it’s the name—Ninety and Nine’—that .eatehes them. They fancy that the admission has been marked down from s doar and can’t resist the bar ~gatn.”—New York Times. exercises | from | s rushed to a height of ; over a hundred feet, and a stream of | The foreman, | | amusing was perpetrated by a jury at Pittsburg. The case was a crimina! one, and after a few minutes’ consul — tation the jury filed into the box from its room. “Have you agreed upon a verdict?” asked the judge. “We have,” responded the foreman, passing it over. “The clerk will read,’ said the judge. And the clerk read, “We, your { jury, agree to disagree.” | | | Worn Only 7 | Whe Scandinavian bridegroom pre sents to his betrotied a prayer-book and many other gifts, which usually | include a goose. she, in turn, gives | him, especially in Sweden, a shirt, and | this he invariably wears on his wed: | ding day. Afterwards he puts it away, | and in no circumstances will he wear | it again while alive. But he wears it | in his grave, and there are Swedes ' who earnestly believe not only in the | | Pesurrection ot the body, but in the | | veritable’ resurrection of the betrothal shirts of such hu. »ands as have never | | broken any of ( “ir marriage vows. , The Swedisa widuver* must destroy | j on the eve o- his © cond marriage the | bridal shirt which his first wife gave ' him. | Couldn’t Be Very Sure. The recent St. Andrew's dinners, ac- cording to the Westminster Gazette, have been noteworthy for the profu- sion ¢f Scotch stories. which in sev- eral cases fairly set the tables in a | roar. Some of them have an ancient ring, but there is one that is perhaps not generally known. A doctor was attending a dangerous case where a Scotch butler was engaged. On calling in the forenoon he said to Donald: “I hope your master’s temperature is much lower to-day than it was last night.” “I’m no’ sae very sure aboot that,” replied the butler, “for he dee’d | this morning.” j Sader Ts an Gets { ! \ | Worth Watching. A treasury official was fortunate envrgh the other day to get half a ton | cf coal. The precious fuel was depos- fted on bis sidewalk late in the after- nocn and a colored man agreed to put it away for a quarter. When he had firisned the job the man presented a .bill for 35 cents. “Why, I thought you said a quarter,” said the officeholder. “A quazter for putting it in, but 10 cents extra to pay a man to watch it. You see, if some one hed taken a cou- ple of handfuls you would have lost at least half a dollar,’—-New York World. t The Sleepy Hour of Nicht, | A head-on collision between twe | freight trains on the Southern Pacific in California was due to the careless- ness of the engineer of one of the trains, who slept at his post and paid the forfeit with his life. Manzeger Al- ger of the Southern Pacific says that the company has great trouble on ac- count of men succumbing to sleep be- tween 3 and 4 in the morning. This | was the time at which the accident ! occurred. It is the sleepy hour that | affects men more than any other of the day cr night. How to Achieve Success. H Often we see bright boys who have worked, perhaps for years, on small salaries, suddenly jumping, as if by ie, into high and responsible posi- tions. Why? Simply because, while | their employers were paying them but a few dollars a week, they were pay- } ing themselves vastly more in the fine asm, determination and high purpose they brcught to their tasks, and in increased insight into business meth- ods.—Success. A Puzzled Youngster. were George Washington and England | married?” “Way, Lawrence,” ‘ swered the mother, “what do you mean? Washington was a man and Englard is a country. ‘They could not be married, my dear.” “Then,” replied the youthful philosopher, “I don’t see why they call Washington the Father of his Country and England the Moth- ‘er Country, if they were not married.” iu | while the drunkard’s character ) 1 do?” | ticn,” declared Mr. Mudd. quality of their work, in the enthusi- | “Mamma,” said a little boy, “when | an “Here | am,” and remained standing and fate were eloquently portrayed. A few minutes later the preacher reached an- other head of hts discourse, and asked: | “Where is the hypocrite?” | Gently nudging his neighbor, the drunkard said, in an avdible whisper: “Stand | up, deacon; -he means you this time. Stand up and take it like a man, just as I stand! ~ it will do you good.” The Invincible Country Boy. A gience at a list of the great men of the big cities of the United Stetes will prove beyond a doubt that the country-bred boy is far superior to his city-born cousin in point of busi- ness and professional ability and gen- eral capacity. Many reasons are ad- vanced for the sueeess of the country boy in the large cities, but the one that seems to hit the nail on the head is that the youngster of the previnces is taught to work, and by this is meant a good henest day’s work, one of twelve hours. He is a sticker, too, who is willing to start in at the bot- tom,.and when you find a country boy who is a worker and a sticker he is invincible. You can’t keep him down. Salt Lake Telegram. A Test of Faith. * “Now, brother,” said the conserva- tive, “I want to convince you that your what you call kigaer criticism is wrong, and that the only way to do is | to take the Bible as a simple act of faith. I have enswered every one of your arguments, and, looking at it fairly, why shouldn’t you believe as “Do you believe,” asked his opponent, with solemnity, “literally be- lieve, that the whale was swallowed by Jonah?” “Of course I do!” repbied the conservative, eagerly. “Well,” tae other observed, over his shoulder, “I am afraid you will never convince me of that. Times. Animal Food. According to a contemporary an old- Scotsman—and he must be now very old indeed+-who was addicted to par- simony, was found by a visitor to be manifestly suffering from want of food, He was strongly urged co take some animal food, and fromised that he would; but presently thought better of it and thus delivered his final ver- dict: “Weel,” he said, “I’m willing to try a turrip or maybees sn onion, bet I'm blest if I'll eat straw.” The gecision showed which way the wind ; blew with him.—London. Globe. Not a Protest. Representative Mudd o: Maryland has frequently been in conflict with the other members of his delegation , “At | over the question of patronage. last I have succeeded in piacing two men without receiving protests irom every other member of the delega Who are they? Charles Carrol] of Carrollton and John Hanson, two of Maryland’s most distinguished sons.” Mr. Mudd meant the two new bronze statues Maryland has placed in Statuary hall. An Easy Solution. The duke of Wellington, while a member of the British ministry, once turned a crawn battle into a glorious victory. When the nevws of the blcody action of Ferozhuhr, in India, arrived there was great consternation in the ministry? at best it was a drawn bat- tle. Sir Robert Peel was much affect- ed at the council taking a most gloomy view, when the duke, lighting up, said: “Make it a victory; fire a ealute and ring the bells”; and so it was ordered and done. The Season. “Ab!” sighs the gentle damsel, “see the bare limbs on the beech. Does not that bring forcibly to one’s mind the sorrowful fact that summer has gone? How many pleasant recoliec I \ions of the summer such a sight cally 4p, don’t you think?” “Well, to- tell ye2 the truth,” replied the candid youth, “I have never been on the 4 y Good night.”—Washington | STATE OF MIN SOTA. | ss. County of Itasea. \ Ofice of County Auditor, Itasca County. Minnasota. To Smith & Richardson parcel of land as: [in the coun: sea, state oF Mi | Known and described as follows. to-w! Southwesv one-quarter of the southwest jarter (sw la of sw 4) of section twenty- (2). township tifty: 66), range eur (24). is now assessed in your auton the first day of May, &. D. ursuunt to the real . duly given and made in uid coun- nam: i Is$9 at the sal estate tax jud, nt. and by the dis’ courtin and for ty of Itasen. on toe first day of Itasi 2st day of March, A. D. 1899. in pro. enforce tho payment of taxes delinquent on real estate for the year 1897, for the said lof land | npe ccunty of Ttacea. the above described plece or parcel of land was sold to the State of | Minnesota. for the sum of ‘threo and 96-100 j dollars. ( 6 $3.96). the amount of taxes. Ities and e due for the year 1897. ‘bat on the 4th day of March. 1903. said land still remaining unredeemed and the amount for which the same was sold for to the state, fogethe with all taxes, penalties, costs and interest. due on said land having been paid into the trersury of suid Itasca county, and | Said Jand wassotd by the State of Minnesota, and conveyed by the auditor of said Itasca county, pursuant to the statute in such case made and provided. A the amount required to redeem tho said plece or paroel of lund from said sale. is, Twenty-nine and eighty-cight one hundredths dollars [329.88]. exclusive of the costs to ac- crne upon the service of this notice, and the time for redemption of said piece or parcel ef land from snid sale will expire sixty Eso days after the service of this notice. a1 d proo! thireof has beén fled in the office 6f the Vounty Auditor, 1 seal. this 5th E. J. WARRELL. Trial By Telephone. A man was errested near Basking Ridge, N. J., for violating the game laws. The constable who arrested the ! man called up Justice Bewers by tele phone. His honor heard the evidence over the wire and fined the offender $20 and costs, which was paid. Charcoal Eph’s Daily Thought. | “Dey am some men dat got too much | conscience t’ fool wid money,” said Charceal Eph in one of his ruminative moods, “an’ den dey am some dat got tco much money to’ fool wid con- science, Misiah Jackson.”—H. E. War ner in Baltimore News. ‘| lowa Banking Law. Iowa authcrities have decided that any one can open a savings bank in that state so long as he does not use the words “savings bank” or “savings institution” in describing the busi- ness of the concern. Artist’s Work in Demand. There is a lady artist residing in Paris who receives $2,500 a. year from ore firm of Christmas-card publish- ers, merely for the privilege of hav- ing first choice of all her designs. Water Power on Pacific Slope. The water power available on the Pacific slope for producing electric energy is equivalent to the combus- Hon of 300,000,000 tons of coal a year. Learn Physical culture. Over 50,000 Leeds, England, school enildren receive instructions in physi- cal dri, the elder scholars being also taught to swim. Seasonable Goods For Ladies T have received a complete line of ladies and ehjldren’s spring fashions and samples, including suits, waists, skirts. silk petticoats, muslin under- ware, and also goods sold by the yard. These vonds are fram two leading firms in Chicago, I would be pleased to haye you call and inspect them. Mrs. C. Rixe. ! pr? COSTELLO, "DENTIST. — Offive in Marr’ Building.— bce GRAND RAPIDS, MINNESOTA CEMENT +Ge0. F. Kremer. 6 Grand Rapids, Minn. P..J. SHELpon, O.E. Arken, Vice President Asst. Cashier Grand Rapids, Minn. Transacts a General Banking Business. Ge H. SPEAR ATTORNEY AT LAW GRAND RAPIDS, MINN 8. FB. Warre W HITE & PRICE LAWYERS (Office Over Metzger’s Meat Market) GRAND RAPIDS, MINN. And 815-8!6Terry Building Datuth, Minn FRANK F. Prick \ - GEORGE THAYER CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER. Stone Walls, Cisterns and Chimneys Built. Practical Plasterer, Grard Rapids, Minn. Cali at Residence on Sleeper avenue, Opposite J. J. Decker. Do You Want A Home? Corner lot 150x140 in Houghton’s Addition with small house aud good garden for sale cheap if taken at once. Smail payment aud eusy terms on balance. © Price $250. FIVE ROOM HOUSE and_ two lots, fenced, city water, ia best loca- dion, Stone foundation under house. Prive $900. We also have many desirable resi- dence lots that can be bought on monthly payments. Call and get prices. FARM LANDS at prices and terms that will sell on sight. Reish’s-Remer Land Cn, ee Paper Hanging Caisominng, Etc.. him at- Hotel Gladstone, or rd will bring him toyoa” fa Itasca County oe Abstract Offies ABSTRACTS,. REAL ESTATE, FIRE INSURANCE, POR ER Conveyances Drawn, ‘Taxes Paid for Non-Residents, KREMER & KING, | ~ Proprietors. GRAND RAPIDS, A. B. CLAIR, Register of Deeds of IOisea Cow ‘ Mineral Pine and Farming. Lands Pine Stumpage Bought. | ABSTRACTS OF TITLE. GRAND RAPIDS. |, RHODES, | PAINTER AND ak Paperhanger A!l work guaranteed. Leave Orders at Steven’s Hotels Grand Rapids, Minnesota. 4 Me W. E. NEAL, Dealer in Pine and Farming Lands. The finest List ‘of Agricultural ea Grazing Lands in the County. The Most, Excellent Sites for Mea tacturing Enterprises. Prospective Settlers Located. Correspondence Solicited. | Grand Rapids, At Village Hall, Monday Evening,’ DEFECTIVE PAGE - April 27th, 1903.