Grand Rapids Herald-Review Newspaper, February 1, 1902, Page 5

—_ VIA THE TELEPHONE. eee Personae, too numerous to men- on. Time, any old time. Place, on a nickle-in-the-slot, party-line telephone circuit. First Subscriber (taking receiver off the hook and standing expectantly in front of the telephone)—Hello, central, (Painful | pause.) Hello, central! Hello, central! Central—Number? Subscriber—I want orange yellow 756, please. Voice—I’d like you to know that we are talking here. Go way back and sit down. | Why, yes, Fred, I am perfectly sure that you didn’t intentionally try to offend me, but you certainly ought to have sent me some word— Subscriber reads a column in the news paper. Picks up the receive> and holds | it to her ear in obedience i» the inunctions “Listen First” on the card of diveetions. ~ | Voice—O, Fred, wait a minute. ‘nat rate ful old rubberneck is listening again. Another Voice—Central, how long am I going to wait for Maroon 873? Central—Number, please? Voices—Mahogany 6483. “Dark Navy Blue 899.” “Violet Indigo 4422.” “Crushed Strawberry 555.” Central—Number, please? Subscriber—Orange Yellow 756, if you please. Voice—Well, for goodness sake, I guess the whole North side is taking a rubber. I wish I could get hold of some of them. There is one I would just like to shake. Deep Bass Voice—Sure thing. I guess she must be old Mrs. Butinsky that we read about in the papers. Well, don’t mind her, She just has to listen, poor thing; it’s her ntral—Number, please? Subscriber—I want Orange Yellow 756, | and I mean to have it. Furthermore, I didn’t come to this telephone to be in- sulted. Deep Bass Voice—She came to buy two | yards of calico and a quart and a half of | molasses. Voices—Hello, central, Dark Navy Blue 899. “Hello, central, Mahogany 6483.” “Hello, central, Violet Indigo 4422.” “Hello, central, Crushed Strawberry 555.” “Orange Yellow 756.” Central—Putanickelintheslot. Chorus of Voices—My nickel is in. Central—Here’sRed Whiteand Blue598. Subscriber—I want Orange Yellow 756. Deep Bass Voice—Let her have it with potato dressing and brown gravy. Voice—Central, I want the manager. I have been calling here for half an hour for Mahogany 6483, and I put my nickel in the slot, and I don’t propose to be treat- ed this way. Central—Whatnumberyoucalling? Voice—Mahogany 6483. Central—Putanickelintheslot. Voice—Well, I put one nickel in the slot. How many do you want? Central—Putanickelintheslot. Voice—Well, I would like to come over to-morrow afternoon mueh, but I really don’t see how I shall be able to. Another Voiee—Who wants you to? What I want is money for that whisky bill. Voice—Isn’t this Mrs. Smithkens, Etrus- can Brown, 4411? The Other Voice—No, this is not Mrs. Simpkins Etruscan Brown 4411, This is O'Nully’s saloon, and I want to know when you are going to pay that whisky bill. Voice—Sir. The Other Voice—Say, if you ain’t Jim Tenners, why gittel out'o’ here, I want Jim Benners Pinky Green 55. Subscriber—Hello, central! How — long have I got to wait for Orange Yellow 756? Central—Dropanickelintheslot. Subscriber—But I did put a nickel in the slot. The Other Voice—Say, cut that out and go way back, will yer, jest fer five sec- one after the other, anyhow, huh? Maggie, gimme Pinky Green 55 and y back! See? Hurry back! Sweet Voice—Somebody seems to have Jet the bars down. All kinds of cattle in here to-day. Deep Bass Voice—Sure, Mike. Wonder where old Screech Owl, the child Patti, is. Must have swallowed Orange Yellow 756 and died. Subscriber (trembling with indignation) —Whoever you are you areinot a gentleman and nothing but a pitiful coward, and if you will just tell me your name my hus- band will— Voice—Rouse mit ’em! Rouse mit ’em! On yer way, all of you! Onyour way! Say, Mag, jar up Pinky Green 55 once more, will ou? MBubecribers Hello, central! Can I have Orange Yellow 756, or must I enter a com- plaint? Several Voices—Enter three complaints. Make it five. Have one on me. On yer way? Mrs. Smithkins, are you listening? All the bells on the circuit ring and all the subscribers hurriedly grab up their receivers except those who are already on guard. Grand Chorus—Yes; what is it, please? I have been trying for en hour to get you. Yes. Gruff Voiee—This is the lineman mending the wire. Stand back three feet and say “Hello!” All together (shifting position)—Hello! Lineman—Now stand three feet to the right and say “Hello!” ‘All together (shifting position)—Hello! Lineman—Now stand three feet to tie left and say “Hello!” All together (shifting position)—Hello! Lineman—Now stand on yer heads and say “Hello! Voices—“()..()--0).-& ()--0)” other things too numerous to mention. Central — Whatnumberdoyouwantputa nickelintheslot!—Chicago Tribune. and Quirks and Quibbes. It is easy for the light headed to be light hearted. He who confesses that he lies, lies; he who denies that he lies twiee. We admire the man who wil! listen to reason because he gives us a chance to talle. Most of ys only know one man whom we regard as absolutely fair and unbiased, and modesty prevents us from naming him. Let a man imagine that he is having hie own way and a woman can do anything with him; let a woman but suspect that she is having her own way and a man can do nothing with her. What a pity that most of our most bril- liant and original ideas did not present themselves to us first. Most men would find it e difficult matter to tell all they know;; not that they know movch; but the difficull ing to winnow what they know from what he they imagine they know. If a man is always as old es any. meen pte ee to old age ina aL RTA "18 ARE SUPERS! ITIOU! Capt. McCalla Says That the Boxe ers Are Not Afraid of Bullets. They Believe That by Waving Their Banners and Spears in a Certain Way They Can Escape Leaden Missiles, Capt. Bowman i. McCalla, com- Manding the cruiser Newavk, which has just returned from the far east, in speaking of the fighting which Ad- | miral Seymour’s column ensjountered ‘ast sum mer in trying to reli-we the eae ; ei-ged .egation at Peking, said: ‘At first we had only the Boxers to : sontend with. Later we had the Chi- nese regulars. They were splendidly armed—all that a good soldier could wish for. They had the best of the Mausers, the finest of Mannlichers and good Krupp guns. Nobody could ask for better than that. “It was almost pathetic to see how the Boxers fougbt. Their religiousem Uhusiasm and faith in certain things were extraordinary. They believed that by waving their banners and spears in a certain way and making pe- culiar motions with their hands the bullets fronj our guns could not harm them. “Nothing could shake thefy faith in | this kind of defense. They would not run away. I saw a parcel of 25 of them stand up and be shot down to the last ; All throngh the fire they kept | bowing and making their strange mo- ' Even when the last of the 28 _ man. tions. had been shot to his knees he kept sa- laaming to the last. Icoxl¢ not under- stand it.- “It was different with the Chinese regulars. They knew what bullets | could do. They are not very good marksmen. They would begin to shoot when they were a great distance away, but there were so many of them that it kept one rather busy trying tododge the bullets. “They displayed more order under fire than I expected, but that is due to the German methods er-ployed im their training. I saw one boay of them walk off very calmly and in splendid order under a hot fire. But as soon as they sre threatened from twe rear they give way in bad style. They seem to be very sensitive to the danger of being cut off. That is a Chinese soldfer’s weak point.” Speaking of the Japanese, Capt. Me- Calla said: “The efficiency of their army is something to marvelat. Think of it. when the allies got to Peking the Japanese had an electric searchlight and a storage battery, which proved of the greatest service in storming the wall, They are modest. quiet, but businesslike, at all times.” WILL FIGHT MOSQUITOES. Army Quartermasters. Have Ar- ranged for a Supply of O11 with Which to Extermigate Them, Arrangements have been made by the army for a wholesale raid on the mosquito. Army headquarters have arranged for a supply of oll, which will be used in the extermination of the insects. All stagnant water within the confines 2f militsry posts will be treated with a dose of petroleum or kerosene, it having Leen ascertained that the introduction >f oil under such zireumstances will dispel the pest of mosquitoes, to whith insects army surgeons attribute the spread of dix ease. ‘This is the first time in the history of the army that the theory of infec sion by mosquitoes has been officially recognized, although for a long time the army surgeons have been trying to get the war department to issue through the quartermaster’s depart- ment oil to be used in the exterminat- ing process. Capt. Gorgas, the army surgeon at Havana, recently made a report to the war department which showed that the abnormal health rate in Havana Is due mainly to the killing off of the mosquitoes, and it is believed that other localities nearer home will be nade more healthful if the same pre cautions are taken. QUEER OWLS ARE FOUND. Three Birds at Red m., That Have Well-Defi Monkey Characteristics, Three owls that appear to be part monkeys have been found near Red Bud, Ul. Two of the birds are now in possession of Phil Ofterding, a hotel keeper of Red Dud, and are viewed with great curiosity. The owls are two months old now, and so far have shown no signs of feathering, and this adds to the monkey likeness. They have large, staring eycs like the owl’s, even the beak being depressed, but the forehead runs back like that of the monkey. The hoot which has made the owl well known ‘s absent. The vocal powers of these monkey-faced beings are somewhat {mpaired. They remain silent unless gisturbed, when they let out a hiss ike that of a snake. They were taken from a nest In the woods near Red Bud about a month ago by George Carpenter. He was out hunting, and seeing an owl fly off a nest high up ina tree climbed up to see what was in it and discov ered three owls, who looked as though they might have had « monkey in the family. He took them to town, gave one away, and. left the other two with the hotel keeper. : Good Use for the Boycott. A Minneapolis bicycle repairer ia strongly suspected of svrinkling tacks on the whee!men’s sid: paths. An ef- fectua! way to punish s:wh a man, says, the Chicago Tribune, {s not to doe taing to him. There g ¢ other repate men. e@mperatirely aecessary for me to tof H and moil and slave, day and night, in” order to get and keep a home together, why, it was playing the violin, that’s | all.” After dinner that evening Mr. Job- son opened up the packages of bridges: and strings and keys and tail-pieces and chin-rests for the violin that he had bought, for the purpose of fitting the instrument up anew, and went to work at it. None of the keys fitted, and be had to spend about two hours shaving them down with a bit of glass. The bridge he finally selected. had to be shaved, too, and it was \juite a time before Mr, Jobson recollected that the strings of a violim can’t be passed through the keys when the keys are not attached to the violin. ‘wo of the strings snapped from too much stretching. Along toward 11 o'clock at night Mr. Jobson had finished re- sining the new bow, and be drew the bow ecrose the strings of his $55 cigar store Strad with horrifying effect. The music was like the mingled wailings of condemned souls. Mrs. Jobson made the excuse that she wanted to put the cat out to leave the room, and even when she was downstairs in the base- ment she put her fingers in her ears. “My fingers are abit stiff, and my bowing arm isn’t what #¢ used to be, from lack of practice, but you just wait till I get limbered up, after a few weeks, and you'll hear the sweet strains around this neck o’ the Jobson wooda, all right!” said Mr. Jobson, when he put the $55 Strad away that night. ‘The next evening Mr. Jobson brought home a violin and piano, collection, in two sections. The collection was made up almost entirely of such choice clas- sics as “Champagne Charley,” “Not for Joe,” “Up in a Balloon,” “Maggie May,” “Silvery Waves,” “Down in a Coal Mine,” “Elfin Waltz,” “Ten Thou- sand Miles Away,” and other concer- tos of the sort that were popular in the days of Mr. Jobson’s youth. “Just you practice up the piano ac- companiments,” said Mr. Jobson to Mrs, Jobson, handing her the piano part of the classic collection, “and I’ll go into training in the spare room up in the attic for a few weeks, and when I get into form we'll play these things together and make the neigh- bors jealous.” For about three weeks Mr. Jobson repaired to the attic room immediately after dinner, closed the door tight, got out his $35 Cremona and performed thereon until nearly midnight. He put a mute on the strings to drown the ef- tect of his practicing, but for all that the callous world will never know what Mrs. Jobson suffered. Mr. Job- son ignored the sharps and flats alto- gether in his practicing, and as for time, he was probably of the opinion that time'was made for slaves. Mrs. Jobson dreaded the hour whes Mr. IN FRONT OF THE JOBSON MAN- SION. Jubson should demand her to accom- pany him on the piano. It came one evening last week, when Mr. Jobson brought his cigar store Cremona downstairs from the attic, opened up the collapsible music stand and announced to Mrs, Jobson that the concert would begin by a rendition of Mendelssohn’s “Spring Song,” by the famous and notorious Jobson family, who brad played before crowned heads, bunco steerers, porch climbers, ete. ete. Here the veil had better be drawn. They hadn't been playing Mendels- sohn’s “Spring Song” more than two and one-half minutes before the gang of small boys began to assemble In front of the Jobson homestead an@ to indulge in cat-calls. Mr. Jobson didn’t hear the tumult before his'door at first. He was too busy telling Mrs. Jobson that she didn't know any more about playing pia~o aceompaniments than ehe did about ;lass blowing, that she was all out of t!me,ete.,etc. When the crowd in front of the Jobson:man- sion had increased to abouta hundred and odd, however, Mr. Jobson couldn't help but hear the delighted yells and shrieks and cat-calls that came in through the wide-open front windows. He stopped abruptly, laid down his violin, went to one of the windows and looked out, pulled down the eur tains and then walked back and re- garded Mrs, Jobson, who atill sat on the plano stool looking miserable and depressed, with an expression of aww tal calm. “Madam,” eaid he, trying to impale Mrs. Jobson with his gaze, “this is the parting of the ways. It had to come some time, but I have been endeavor- ing to stall it off as long as possible. There is a lot that I could say. with regard to this job you have put up on me, but I content myself with one simple question, which I desire you to answer me truthfully: How much ‘gid head did you pay these howling oodlums and ruffians in front of my @oor to come here and insult me an¢é heap vituperation andscorn upon me?” --Washington Star. Increased Ootton Crop in Esyrt. Under British rule the cotton crop of Egypt has doubled, and now amountr, to over 500,000,000 pounde + COUNTY AND VILLAGE OFFICERS couNTY, Reet Deeds.. Clerk of Court. ‘homas Russell Supt. of Schools rs. Hattie F. Booth COMMISSIONERS, District No. 1. (Ch Distt Nog ee” District No. 8. District No, Distriet No. VILLAGE, President Trustees .. Recorder. Treasurer. Attorney. Street Com: Marshal. ieCormick . &. McCormick CHURCHES. PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH -— Rev. Wm. J. Palm, pastor. ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH—Rev. r. Father Mackey, pastor M. E, CHURCH—Rev. Noah Lathrop, pastor SECRET SOCIETIES. ITASCA LODGE A.°. F.”. & A.*. M.*. No. 208: meets the first and third Fridays of each month at K. of P. hall. E.J. Lurner, Sec'y, O. L. MaTuer, W. M. GRAND RAPIDS LODGE I. 0.0. F, No. 184: meets every Wednesday night at Odd Fellows hall: JOHN CosTELLo, N, G. I. D. Rasmussen, Rec. Sec. ARBUTUS REBEKAH LODGE No. 150: meets every Tuesday in Odd Fellows hall. Mrs. M. Lou Lornuop, N. G Joun DeSuaw, B.S. WAUBANA LODGE K. of P. No. 131: meets every Thursday evening in their hall. i daily until October 3is Pan-American Rxposition. Buffalo, N. Y. and return $17. by train and steamer. ‘Tickets on sale ‘Burlington| | Route All the comforts and con- veniences good club or your h are found in LIBRARY BuFFET ‘ PrRANK F. PRICE, AT TORNE Office over Itasca M LAW i tie GRAND RAPIDS MINN. _ D* ». costexro, DENTIST. —— Office in Marr Building.— GRAND RAPIDS, MINNESOTA, Ce H. SPEAR ATTORNEY AT LAW GRAND RAPIDS, - - MINN D* GEO, C GILBERT, PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON SMOKING Cars in daily use on Bur- lington Limited Trains between the Twin ‘Cities and Chicago. Supplied with card tables, easy . E. GRAFFAM, C. C. Gec. C. MCALLISTER, K. RB. 8. ITASCA DIVISION No. 10, U. R. K. P.. meets first Monday of each month in K. of P. hall. E. A. Kremer, Capt. Cuas. KEARNEY. Recorder, WAUBANA TEMPLE No. 20, RATHBONE Sisters: meets every Wednesday night ut K, of P. hall. Mrs, EvizabeTH Hennessy, M. E. C. Mrs. JEssiz STEVENS, Sec’y. ITASCA CAMP No. 6444, M., W of 4.: meets second and fourth Mondays of each montn at Udd Fellows hali. Joun DeSuaw, V.C. GeonrGE Vrent, Clerk, HALE LAKE CAMP No. 2201. ROYAL Neighbors: meets first and third Mondays each month at Odd Fellows hall. Mrs. KaTHeRins MCALPINE, Oracle. Mrs. M. Lou Loturor, R, 8. NORTH STAR COUNCIL}-No. 9, MODERN Samaritans: meets first and third Tues- days each month at K. of Ph: all. 8. J. CasLe.G. S. L. W. Huytcey, Sec’y. ITASCA HIVE L. O. T. M.: meets ever, second and fourth Fridays of each mount! in K. of P. hall. Mrs. Bessie CLarr, L. C. Mrs. Harrie F. Booru. R. K. LOCKSLEY COURT No. 109. U. O. Kk: meets second und fourth Tuesday each month at K. of P. hall. Mas. CARRIE BECKFELT, C. R. Mrs. MARGARET FINNFGAN, Sec'y. DRUMBEATER TRIBE No. 35, [. O. R. M.: meets first und third Fridays each month at Odd Fellows hall. Jouy HEPFEL, Sachem. B, F. HUSON POST G. A. R. No. 140: meets the last Friday of each month in Post hall. M. A. Yancey, Com. #. S. Huson, Adjt. jaws ITASCA CIRCLE LADIES OF THE G. A. R.: meets the first Monday of each month in Post hall. Rs, CHRISTINE Yancey, P. Mus. MAry Huson, Sec'y. Contest Notice. United States Land Office. Duluth, Minnesota, October 22, 1901. A sufficiert. contest affidavit having been filed in this office by Joseph H. Dunning, testant. against Homestead entry No. made July 5, 1895 for lot 15; W of se } ne 44 of sw 44. section 3, township 60, n. rance 25 w, by John P. Phillips, contestee, in which itis alleged that sald Phillips has never made any lmproresict upon said land; that there are no bulldings of any kind or nature yn said land ; that said land isin « wholl: wild and uncultivated state; that said Phil- lipps has never resided upon said land, and that such abandonment was not due tojseryice in thearmy. navy or marine corps of the Uni- ted States. Said parties are hereby uotified to appear. respond and offer evidence touching said allegation at 10 o’clock a.m. on Decem- ber 10. 1901, before the Register and Receiver at the United States land office in Duluth, Minnesota. The said contestant having, in a proper affidavit filed Oct. 22, 1991, set forth facts which show that after due diligence personal service of this notice can not be made, it is hereby ordered and directed that such notice be given by due and proper publi- tion. eae Wa. E, QunKrn, Register. Herald-Review, Nov. #-Dec. 7. chairs and the latest and best! periodicals. Ask Your Home Agent For Tickets Via The Bur- lingtongeeesee 0. W. Hastinas. President. ¥, P. SHELDON, Cashier C. E. AIKEN, Asst. Cashier P. J. SHELDON, Vice President. Lumbermen’s Bank Of Grand Rapids. Minn Dyspepsia Cure yspep Digests what you eat. This. preparation contains all of the digestants and digests’ all kinds of food, ltgivesinstant reliefand never failstocure. It allows you to eat all the food you want. The most sensitive stomachs can takeit. By itsuse many thousands of dyspeptics have been cured after everything else failed. It prevents formation of gason the stom- -| ach, relieving all distress after eating, Dieting unnecessary. Pleasant to take, Prepared only by E. 0. De Witt & Co., Ohicago. ‘The $1. bottle contains 2% times the 50c. size. A. B. CLAIR, Register uf Deeds of Itasca County Minera Pine ana Summons. State of Minnesota, County of Itasca—In dis- trict court. Fifteenth Padiclal district. George W. Moore,’ plaintiff, vs. Sarah Moore, defondant—Samnmons. The state of Minnesota to the above named defendant: You are hereby summoned and required to answer the complaint of the plaintiff in the above entitled action, which is filed in the office of the Clerk of the District Court in and for the County of Itasca and State of Minne- sota, and to serve a copy of ycur answer to the sald complaint upon the subscribers at their office In the village of Grand Rapids. in said county and state, within thirty (3¢) days after service of this summons upon you. ex- clusive of the day of such service; and if you fail toanswer the said complaint within the time aforesaid. ths plaintiff in this action will apply to the Court for the demanded in the bres iret he tae r 50, una 1901. - PRICE & SPEAR, | Attorneys for Plaintiff GrandRapide, Minn. 0 Noti Department of the Interior. United States Land Office. Duluth, Minn., Jan. 18th, 1902 hit t contest affidavit having been siea'in ite office by Anna Oleson. contest- ani inst Homestead, entty. fo. 12,038, le mber, 1899, for the northwest quarter uf the southwest quarter (Nw %of wis) of section twenty-two (22), township sre (Since irvaioe se eset E . contestee, In i hat said Issac Johanson has wholly sband- of over six to the Farming Lands. Pine Stumpage Bought. ABSTRACTS OF TITLE. GRAND RAPIDS. rom id established other joyment of the ‘aid Johanson in gmploymeny Mine corpe of the United states respond and er era A. Me on Febuars 192, before oa D, Rassmussen, Cler! Stace of Gimesote “at” his office in the/court fala county, end este; and th aftual pean Pep ious before the Register and iver atthe a ‘ Minnesota. testant having, in prope: sees nm 18, A.D. 1902. icile at some lace beeaenmeets| 8 the army, GC. SMITH * : DEALER IN : Fruits, Confectionery, +4 Ice Cream Soda, = Ice Cream, Drinks, : Tobaccos, : Choice Lines of Cigars : Grand Rapids, - Minn. ‘THIRD ST., Opp. Depot. CLT Ld sedadedad Office over Cable's Meat Market, GRAAD RAPIDS D* CHAS. M. STORCH, PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Office and Residence, Cor. Kindred and;3ra GRAND RAPIDs. D R THOMAS RUSSELL FHSIYCIAN AND SURGEON Office and Residence. Presbyterian Parsonage, Fourth Street. GRAND RAPIDS. R. DONOHUE, ATTORNEY AT LAW GRAND RAPIDS, Itasca County Abstract Office ABSTRACTS, REAL ESTATE, FIRE INSURANCE, Coriveyances Drawn. Taxes Paid for Non-R: KREMER & KING Proprietors, GRAND RAPIDS, - : MINN W. E. NEAL, Dealer in Pine and Farming Lands. The finest List of Agricultural and Grazing Lands in the County. The Most, Excellent Sites for Manu tacturing Enterprises. Prospective Settlers Located. Corres_ondence Solicited. eenee eeesegaseesensanesse EN. A. PASONAULT : : PROPRIFTOR : . = $ Pioneer : : Barber 5 = H Shop__ # $ Your Patronage Solicited. :, LELAND AVENUE. & Grand Rapids, : - Minn EE AE eA ae ee ae a ae ae ae a ae ae Te a aa The Celebrated “Cream Pure America’s Finest Pro- duction. SPSL VESLSLSLSSSWSS SISISLSLSLSS Received Highest Reward at World’s Columbian Exposi- position. Recommended for Medincal and Family Uses. stem Henry Logan. SLSSSVSLVSS HIST SLSLSVISISIWSPSVSISWSLSLSS TLS SVWES Dallamend & Go., Chicago. f HE EEE EE ah ae ee ea The Harald Raviow $2 | } i + i { | i Sckkr Grand Rapids. }