Grand Rapids Herald-Review Newspaper, October 28, 1899, Page 7

WHO DRINK WHISKY? 7 The Brightest, Brainiest Men World Indulge to Excess. It is the brightest, brainiest men in the world, the leaders in public affairs, in churches, in business and in the ‘va- professions, who drink liquor to It is such men who are sought “tr; Who are made much of in a so- cial way, and who, consequently, are tempted to indulge in liquor. When they discover that the habit has be- come a disease and that they cannot stop drinking, they feel the necessity of a cure for the disease. The experience of twenty years has taught the public that the Keeley Cure is the only cure which science has dis- covered for drunkenness. There are many imitators and frauds, but none have a cure, although they will prom- ise anything to secure a man’s money. At the Minneapolis Keeley Institute the class of patients is above the aver- age in intelligence. Lawyers, doctors, sters, architects, business men, are found in every class. It is the ete., such men who realize the necessity for a cure and desire to stop drinking. The bums and sots, who live in the low resorts, do not go to the Keeley Institute for two reasons: a lack of funds and a lack of inclination to be cured. In almost every large business con- cern it will be found that among the best men are those who have taken the Keeley Cure. Employers frequently find it to their advantage to send an employe to the Minneapolis Keeley Institute to be cured, therefore making tim a more yalued employe. Rail- roads frequently send their employ- es who are addicted to drink to the In- stitute. A man will spend the greater portion of his earnings in the saloons if he is a drinke He makes a mate- aiving if he takes the Keeley Cure. Keeley Institute always point to send literature in a plain en- yelope to any who will send their ad- dress to the corner of ‘Tenth street south and Park avenue, Minneapolis, Minn. TRICKS OF CHOIR SINGERS. Carrying on Conversation While Pretending to Sing the Service. One of the English bishops has been complaining that he notices about many choir boys and men a want of reverence and of attention to the ser- vic that are going on, and he exem- s this by saying that the choris- talk in song, and have a sort of “voluntary” of their own, wherein they drop the original words, and, to sacred music, chant, n reality, a very old com- and the ge stage manager y morefHicted by it than even are connected with places of ‘The rows of chorus men aud girls one s on the stage carry on long and animated conversations about everything under the sun, and all to music. And all the time they indulge in the gest ‘s they have been taught as approp e to the scene, their thoughts are really with the themes of their 1 chat, and thus it is that s Ss seem so wooden and artificial And it is a fact that the great bulk of the chorus people en- in the highest-class “Italian” sing any gibb hh they please. $24.00 Per Week Salary. We pay $24 per week for aman with a rig to intro @uce ourgoods tn the country. Write for terms, Kansas Food Co., Dept. ‘T., Kansas City, Mo. Accommodated. The manager of the clothing depart- ment opened his envelope one pay day and scowled Miggs,” he said to the “this is the fourth time in n that you have paid me with three $20 bills, and I’m getting tired of hustling around to get them changed. Suppose you work your big bills off on some other fellows for a while, be- gad!” “Mr. Miggs,” spoke up a calm, une- motional, business-like voice from somebody who had been sitting inside the railing, with a newspaper in his hand, “for the next four weeks you will ple ve Mr. Whackham some annoyance by keeping one $20 bill per week out of his envelope.”—Chicago Tribune. Some people are loved because of the enemies they make and hated because of the nds they make. Dizzy? Then your liver. isn’t acting well. You suffer from bilious- ness, constipation. Ayer’s Pills act directly on the liver. For 60 years the Standard Family Pill. Small doses cure. 25c. All druggists. Want your moustache or beard a beautiful brown or rich taps Then -"s th BUCKINGHAM Ss DYE Whiskers 50_crs. or Dmvoargrs, on RP. HALL & CO. NASHUA, NL H. W. L. DOUCLAS $3 & $3.50 SHOES UNION > MADE. Worth $4 to $6 compared with other makes. Indorsed by over 1,000,000 wearers. ALL LEATHERS. ALL STYLES ‘THE GENUINE have W. L. Douglas’ ‘ame and price ped on bottom, ‘Take no substitute claimed to beas good. Largest makers of 3 and 83.50 shoes in the world. Your dealer should keep them—ff not, we willsend you Ae" a pairon receipt of price. State Kind of leather, size and width, plain or cap toe. Catalogue A Free. W. L. DOUGLAS SHOE CO., Brockton, Mass. JOHN W. MORRIS, Fyrsin civil war, 15 adjudicating claims, atty since, LAD OR IMT A Nantes totravetand appointagents. 86 per month salary and all expenses. ‘ZixGLER Co, 718 Monon Bldg. “bicago DO THE FISHES TALK? QUEER PROPOSITION BROUGHT FORWARD. Doth the Lungfish and Dramfish Can Bark Like a Dog—The Eel and the Gizzard-Shad Emit Queer Sounds— Whales Have Been Known to Cry. Piseatorial cranks are just now pa- rading their knowledge on the subject of fish talk. It is freely admitted that fish that utter sounds are not rare to a remarkable extent; but to translate these sounds into the English or any other language and be able to appre- ciate the feelings of the denizens of the deep at various thrilling stages of their uncertain careers is beyond the ken of ordinary mortals. We are told that a fisherman out at sea landed a strange fish in his boat, and that the finny captive immediately opened its mouth and began to grunt and groan so loudly as to attract attention. The fisherman took it up and was so con- vinced that it was talking and beg- ging for liberty that he tossed it back into the brine. More musica] than the noise made by any fish is said to le that of the eel, while the loudest sound uttered by a fish is that of the dogfish. Both the lungfish and the drumfish utter singular barking sounds of peculiar resonance, and whales have been known to cry out as if for help when they have been stranded. Of the salmon and the trout little has been learned, so far as fish-talk on their part is concerned, but this may be due in a measure to the fact that the man with the rod has never felt inclined to devote his ear to patient listening of a well-stocked stream. If these favorite fish could talk, what tales they mignt unfold! What reputations might they blast! Perhaps it is best for us all that the trout is not gifted with eloquence, like the eel and giz- zard-shad. Perhaps, too, it were bet- ter for us to continue on merely a glancing acquaintance, a gastronomical acquaintance. If fishes talk they might even betray us to ourselves and take away from us the joy of our own de- ceptions. Nevertheless, it is a ques- tion for debate whether the noises produced by certain fish can be con- sidered as a language, or as expres- sions of the emotions, fraught with meaning. Without a doubt we shall soon be in receipt of a batch of com- munications from mountain resorts and watering-paces, throwing light on the matter of fish-talk, and it is not improbable that we may learn that some Bostonian scientist has already prepared a table of codfish sounds and their meanings, so that a fisherman may sit still with line or net and call the fish to him at will.—San Francisco News-Letter. FAMOUS IN SPORTS. There is no one who can compete with Lord de Gray of England as a sportsman. Once in Ireland, when shooting, he brought down sixteen wild geese with a two-barreled gun and in one year was responsible for the death of 15,000 birds. Lord Carnarvon is a good shot ond recently he gave a party for the prince of Wales, at which -10,800 birds vere slaughtered in three days with only six hunters—600 birds a day to each” gun. There has been some record deer- shooting in Scotland. Atholl forest is supposed to contain about 15,000 head of red deer, and when the ‘prince and princess of Wales visited there in 1872 no fewer than 3,000 deer were driven before them. There is always good fishing at the duke of Richmond's place, Gordon cas- tle, and Lady Caroline Lenox, who acts as hostess for her brother, is quite an expert with the rod. The Bradley Martins have one of the finest shooting estates in Scotland, and their shooting parties are always eagerly attended. Their daughter, Lady Craven, and her husband stay with them during the season. A Story of Cullom. . Just at the busy time one day when the crowds from the department stores packed the cars a tired-looking man with a painful limp came in with the crowd at the- Fifteenth street transfer station and stood clinging-to a strap just. in front of Senator Cullom. The senator looked up, and, seeing the weary face, instantly rose and offered The man demurred. The senator insisted. “Sit down, sit down,” said he cheerily. “You mustn’t stand; sit down.” The man sank into the seat, and the tall Illinoisan contented himse!f with a strap. From beneath a great poppy-laden hat the bright eyes of a little girl near whom he stood peered up at him eagerly. At last he looked down and saw her. “Won’t you take my seat?” she said, politely. The senator smiled down at “No, thank his Seat. her and ‘shook his head. you, child,” he said. “You musn’t ever give up your seat to a man. It sets a bad example.”—Chicago Tribune, The Goethe Anniversary. If Goethe were living he would now be 150 years old, which fact German authors and book printers have jus: anniversarized. An interesting detai! is that Goethe’s life was one of unin- terrupted prosperity, and that in 18@6 Motta of Stuttgart paid $60,000 for his copyrights. That would not be a large sum nowadays for men much less im- portant than Goethe to receive; neither is it a small sum to pay for copyrights | ;upon books some of which have been | in print over fifty years. A QUICKSILVER FOUNTAIN. | Household Flatirons Float Lightly on Its Surface. «Probably the most ingenious, not to say expensive, fountain ever devised is to be seen in operation daily in the : Queensland section of the Greater Brit- ‘ ain exhibition, Earl’s court. It has taken a clever young engineer, Charles Bright, F. R. S. E., over three months to overcome the difficulties of produc- ing anything like an appreciable effect on the public eye. Quicksilver or mer- cury is a very difficult mineral to deal with. It is tremendously heavy, being at least four times heavier than water, has a peculiar quality of disappearing anywhere and everywhere on the slightest provocation, and is so expen- sive that few can indulge in so inter- esting a luxury as a quicksilver cas- cade. The metal in the Earl’s court fountain falls from an upper bowl, four feet in diameter, to a basin seven feet below. Both of thesé basins, as well as the ornamental supporting pillar, are constructed of iron, painted dull black to heighten the effect. Owing to the great cost of the mercury (2s. 6d a pound) one of the main problems was to devise the apparatus so as to get rid of any possibility of waste. Hence, anything like Niagara falls of mercury was out of the question. The top bowl is, in fact, not a bowl at all, but a table, with sixty-four small channels radiating from the center to the out- ward edge. From the center the quicksilver is thus distributed evenly over the edge, and drops in silvery streaks into the basin below, where, curious to relate, two household fiat- irons float about as airly as if they were ducks on a millpond—a striking object lesson, proving the wonderful density of the liquid. From the lower bowl there is a drain-pipe, eighty feet long and one inch in diameter, which conveys the mercury to a tank at a slightly lower level, forming the sup- ply to an elevator apparatus for pro- viding the necessary “head” of mer- cury. The form of elevator adopted consists of a number of small, thickly set steel buckets freely suspended at intervals on an éndless bicycle chain, which is conveyed through the storage tank. As each bucket dips into the latter, a tilting device insures it pick- ing up all the mercury which it will conveniently hold. The buckets are then carried upward to a reservoir tank some fourteen feet above, where each in turn, by means of a similar tilting arrangement, is emptied. From this upper tank the mercury is con- ducted by a pipe 106 feet in length to the upper basin of the fountain.— London Mail, STORIES OF THE CLERGY. A Baptist minister fishing near Cape Cod catches a strange fish, and asks the skipper: “What manner of fish is this, my good man? It has a curious appearance.” ‘‘Yaas. Only been ‘round here this year.” ‘‘What do you call it?” “We calls ’em Baptists.” “Why so?” “’Cause they spile so quick arter they come out of the water.”—Nacomb Bystander, The Home Magazine recalls a good story which Dr. Newman Hall used to tell on the lecture platform. An illit- erate negro preacher said to his con- gregation: “My brethren, when de fust man, Adam, was made, he was made ob wet clay, and set up agin de palings to dry.” ‘Do you say,” said ene of the congregation, “dat Adam was made ob wet clay?” “Yes, sar, I do.” ‘Who made the palings?” “Sit down, sar,” said the preacher, stern- ly; “such questions as dat would upset any system of theology.” “How is the world using you, pas- tor?” was asked of a happy itinerate Methodist preacher in Georgia. “First- class, sir, first-class.” “Nothing to complain of, eh?” ‘Nothing at all sir —nothing at all. The festival for the benefit of the new organ came out only $30 in debt; the fair for the new light- ning-rod was $20 behind, and the watermelon paity for the new bell was $20 short, but the parsonage didn’t burn down until six weeks after the pourd party—praise the Lord.” The Law of Compensation. From the Argonaut: Richard Cum- berland, the playwright, was extremely jealous of his young rival, Richard Sheridan. It is related that he took his children to see one of the first per- formatices of “The School for Scandal,” and when they screamed with delight their irritable father pinched them, saying: ‘What are you_ laughing at? You should not laugh, my angels; there is nothing to laugh at,” adding in an undertone: “Keep still, you little dunces.” When this was reported to Sheridan, he said: “It was ungrateful in Cumberland to be displeased with his children for laughing at my come- dy, for when I went to see his tragedy I laughed from beginning to end.” Impudence of Genius. Mrs, Parvenu—I don’t think the pic- ture looks like me at all. The \Artist— Perhaps not. But it is an exact repre- sentation of the way you would look: if you had been rich all your life, and that is what you want, is it not?— Indianapolis Journal, Universal Belief. Professor—“Now, Mr. Doolittle, what. have you learned about your topic, the ) diamond?” Mr, Doolittle—“That every woman believes it harmonizes exactly with her complexion.” — Jewelers’ Weekly. An Insult to the Dog. Mr. Newlywed—Why don’t you call me a brute and done with it? Mrs. Newlywed—You forget that Fido is , | present!—Puck. The difference of cost between a good and a poor baking pow- der would not amount-for a fam- . ily’s supply to one dollar a year. The poor powder would cost. many times this in doctors’ bills. Royal Baking Powder may cost a little more per can, but it insures perfect, wholesome food. In fact, it is more economical in the end, because it goes further in leavening and never spoils the food. Royal Baking Powder used always in making the biscuit and cake saves both health and EO money. You cannot, if you value good health, afford to use cheap, low-grade, alum baking pow- ders. They aré apt to spoil the food; they do endanger the health. All physicians will tell you that alum in food is deleterious, ROYAL BAKING POWDER CO., NEW YORK. | i PERSONALLY CONDUCTED. Tours to California in Pullman Tour- ist Sleeping Cars Via the Chicago Great Western to Kansas City and the Santa Fe Route to Los Angeles and Southern Califor- nia. The true winter route, avoiding cold weather and snow blockades. Commencing Menday, Oct. 23rd, and on every Monday following, one of these new Pullman Tourist Sleeping Cars will leave St. Paul at 8:10 a. m., via the Chicago Great Western for Los Angeles and Southern California v Kansas City, and reaching Los Ange- les the following Friday morning. thus avoiding all Sunday travel. These tours are personally conducted by an experienced railway official, who ac- companies the train to its destination. The cars are well equipped for a long journey, and are as comfortable as the Pullman Sleepers, while the price is only $6.00 for a double berth, less than half the price in the Standard Slee; For full information, inquire of J. P. Elmer, corner Fifth and Robert streets, St. Paul, Minn., or address F. H. Lord, General Pass. and Ticket Agent, 113 Adams St., Chicago. Not Happily Phrased. “Tell me, do you like the color of my hair?” “Indeed, I do. My dear madam, you could not have made a better choice.” Read the Advertisements, You will enjoy this pubtication much better if you will get into the habit of reading the advertisements; they will afford a most amusing study, and will put you in the way of getting some ex- cellent bargains. Our. advertisers are reliable; they send what they’ adver- tise. Of. all virtues, magnanimity is the rarest; there are a hundred persons of merit for one who willingly acknowl- edges it in another.—Hazlitt. How's This? We offer One Hundred Dollars reward for ans case of Catarrh that cennot be cured by Hali’s Catarrh Cure. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Props.. Toledo, O. We, the undersigned, have known F. J. Cheney forthe last 15 years and believe him perfectly honorable in all business transactions and financially able to carry out any obliga- tions made by their firm. West & Truax, Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, 0.: Walding, Kinnan & Marvin, Wholesale Druggists. Toledo, Ohio. Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally, act- ing directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces ofthe system. Testimonials sent free. Price %e per bottle. Sold by all druggists. : Hall's Family Pills are the best. Vietory. “O, Death, where is thy victory!” they exclaimed, tauntingly Death was not given to b ting, but now, it seemed, its reputation was at stake. “Well,” he replied, “I’ve made cer- tain parties let go of their money.” Truly, a distinguished triumph, as the world goes.—Detroit Journal, The constantly increasing business of the Baltimore and Ohio Rail’ Road has necessitated very material addi- tions to the telegraph sery During the past year nearly 2,000 miles of cop- per wire, 166 pounds to the mile, have been strung. New lines have been placed in service between Baltimore and Pittsburg, Baltimore and Parkers- burg, Newark, O.. to Chicago, Philade phia to Newark, Philadelphia to Cum- berland and Cumberland to Grafton. During the summer several of these wires were quadruplexed between Bal- timore and Cumberland and duplexed west. : Like all new Baltimore and Ohio work, the limes are constructed in the best possible manner. Got at the Last House. Householder—Say, plumber, that ap- pears to be a remarkably fine cigar you are smoking. What is the brand? Plumber--I didn’t have time to find ouvt. He came in before I'd got only one and put the box away. Where They Finally Land. “IT see that Burlesquer Lydia Thomp- son, who is going on seventy, has just taken a farewell benefit.” “What will she do now?” “Oh! I suppose she'll have a rest fox r or two and then go into the bal- —Cleveland Plain Dealer. THE GRIP CURE THAT DOES CURE. Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets removes the cause that produces La Grippe.. E. W. Grove’s signature is on each box. 25c. Nice Youth. “Ah, Prowser! When will you learn that Providence never prospers boys who fish on Sunday?’ “Noa, sir—but Old Nick must a "bin ” eggin’ ’em on to bite to-day, for I never copped so many afore.”—Ally Sloper. FITS Permanently Cured. No fits ornervousnessafter- first day’s use of Dr. Kiine’s Great Nerve Restorer. Send for FREE 82.00 trial bottle and treatise. Da. R. H. Kiixe, Ltd., 981 Arch St, Philadelphia, Pa. Possibly. “Pa, why are they called practicing physicians?” “TI guess it’s because so many of them merely practice upon their patients un- til the latter efther succumb or get well in spite of the practice.”—Chieage. News. Choice Farm Lands in Minnesota and Dakotas, near Big Stone Lake. Low prices, easy terms Write soon to Colonial Land: Wearied. “And is Yungster still in the blissfuR intoxication of love?” “No; I think he has reached the headache now.”—Indianapolis Journaa, I bellexs iy prompt use of Piso’s Cure peerenee ick consumption.—Mrs, Lacy ‘allace, Marquette, Kan , Dec. 12, %. There has been great difficulty im London in finding drivers for electric vehicles, and one company has d@is- missed its employes and closed up its plant on this account. —— Es ONE OF THE CRANDEST OFFERS EVER MADE. The first five persons procuring the Endless Chain Starch Book from their grocer, will each obtain one is intel in emaive “RED CROSS” Starch, one large 10c. pacxage of ‘‘ HUBINGER’S BEST” Starch, two Shakespeare beautiful colors, as natural as life, or one Twentieth Century Girl Calendar, the finest of its kind ever printed, All others procuring the Endless Chain Starch Book will obtain from their grocer two large 10c. the beautiful premiums which are being given away. This offer is only made for a short time to further int CROSS” Starch, and the celebrated “HUBINGER’'S BEST” cold water Starch. inte iree. a of starch for de. and packa; luce the famou3; “RED Ask your grocer for this starch. Keeps both rider and saddle per- fectly dry in the hardest storms. § Samm ‘Substitutes will disappoint. Ask for BAN oe. Fish Brand Pommel Slicker— it fs entirely new. If not for sale in 4 your town, write for catalogue to A. J. TOWER, Boston, Ma.s. en PLEASE TRY STOCK RAISERS | Will find it greatly to their advantage, if before purchasing a farm, they will look at the country along the line of the Saint Paul & Duluth Railroad. DAIRY FARMERS Who desire the best Clover and Timothy land, in a district which can boast of a | fine climate, good pure water, rich soil, fine meadows, and near to the markets j of St. Paul, Minneapolis, Duluth and ; Superior should apply ‘mmediately by leter or in person to ‘WM. P. TROWBRIDGE, Asst. Land Commissioner, St. Paul & Duluth R. R. Box U—003 Globe Bldg., St. Paul, Minn. ; “piuciedvant Thompson’s Eye Water, : When Answering Advertisements Kindiy Mention This Paper. { DR. ARNOLD’S COUGH s CURES COUGHS AND COLDS. PREVENTS CONSUMPTION. All Druggists, 25c. WEWANT MEN Stock. Best W, THE JEWELL NUEBSERY: a babe ge ARTER'S INK Makes millions think. N. W. N. UL —No. 43.— 1899. i | a