Evening Star Newspaper, July 24, 1897, Page 14

THE EVENING SPAR, :SATURDAY, JULY 24, 1897-24. PAGES. Written E: usively for The Evening Star. ple have only an imperfect idea Lost pe as to Alaska and its climate,” remarked @ genileman who long held an official po- sition there, “and I confess that until I went there I had the wrong idea of it my- | self. My impression was that the people} there lived on snow balls and melted icycles and other cool delicacies, and that they went about wrapped up in sealskin coats with fur collars and all that sort of thing. This is true about that part of it away up near Russian North America, but in the! part of Alaska that is most thickly settled it is no colder in the winter than In Minne- sota, and in other parts of the year the weather is not unlike that of this section ofthe country. It is as warm in Sitka dur- img the hot season as it is in Washington. In my garden in Sitka I have raised sweet gorn as large and as fine as I ever raised it in Virginia and had it on my table with new potatoes on the Fourth of July. Of course, up in the country where the gold excitement now prevails it is cold, very cold, and there Is plenty of it during the * winter, which is very long. It has been known for years that there was gold up in the Yukon river country, and the orly question was the amount of it and the expense of getting it. The history of Cal- {fornia has been that it has cost $3 to et out each dollar's worth of gold which has been secured. for the reason that che ! failures exceeded the findings. It has cast even more than $$ for each dollar's worth of gold that has beén mined in Ne- | vada. The same rule has prevailed in Crip- | ple Creek and other places in Colorado. | me men managed to strike it very | rich. The company which has done more to start the present excitement in Alaska was organized this city two years ago last March. Warren B. English, who served a term from the Oakland district of California, is the active man in the company, much of the capital of the com- Fany having been subscribed by some of his congressional associates, an ex-mem- ber from Massachusetts being the largest subscrib glish had spent some time | there a well informed as to the he convinced _ his friend: ikely to pay. If it turns reat find he will be en- titled as much honors as were given Colonel Suter, who first found gold in Call- fornia. You may remember that Suter got more fame out of his find than any- thing else. He got the fame and others the gold or at least that what the gold | secured. To some extent therefore this gold excitement is of loca) origin, the { movement which brought It about having been, as I na stated, organized and capi- talized in this city. ee eK “ “Dangerous weapons.’ exp ined a Po- lice Court judge to a Star reporter, “is | almost an indescribable term. It is unlaw- ful for persons to have dangerous weapons tain times, though if the same per- had the same weapons at other times no attention would be paid to it. For in- stance, a wood ax, vitchfork, crowbar or sledge hammer is ordinarily not a danger- ous weapon, as described by the law, though if parties were carrying them dur- ing a riot or while inciting a riot, or when acting in a disorderly manner, I would im- pose the penalty of the law on them. Like- wise a club or even heavy walking cane or stick is not a dangerous weapon ordi- narily, but no judge would have any trouble to impose a penalty and declaring “them to be such if they were carried or used by persons engaged in violating the law, or in an unlawful assembly. Many think that they are safe if they carry so- called dangerous weapons openly, under the idea that the penalty ts only for carry- ing concealed weapons. The law prohibits the carrying of ngerous weapons, Whether concealed or not. In all such cases, however. the person who carries the Weapon and the circumstances surrounding the ease have to be considered. To break up the habit of carrying razors by a cer- tain class an extreme penalty has been found necessary nd it is pretty generally tmposed, as many have found to their cost. While this is so, and it is right and neces- sary, I do not think any court would fine a! chant who might be carrying a box of razors through the city. Neither would any court impose a fine on a barber who} might be engaged in carrying a box of razors to the cutler’s to have them ground. It would be different, however, if the same Merchant or barber was arrested on the drunk, or disorderly, day or night, upon him, even if he threatened to slash the life out some one. It is, therefore, the circum- -s, not the man or the weapon itself, makes a weapon dangerous. There is also a popular error that the chief of police or the lieutenants of the police have the legal power to grant permits to persons to carry dangerous weapons, generally pis- tols or revolvers. The chief of police or the lieutenants have no more power in such cases than have the members of the white brigade who sweep Pennsylvania . and I have never heard that they ¥ such power. No one has the right to violate the law or to assist others in its violation. It is entirely dif- however, if a person arms his house sion or himself against attack. an be done in a proper manner, nothing but common sense can grant the permits.” =-* e£ e * “Housekeepers like to be reminded now remarked a well-known lady “of lets of little things da razor found had not of avi ever claimed a nu AND yn — sufficiently attractive throw the trimmings into the stove the next morning and set out a fresh lot the next night. The green coloring matter that kilis the roaches Is the same thing that makes cucumbers so annoying at times to the human fam- Hy.” ee KKK “Gen. Winfield Scott,” says an old Wash- ingtonian, “was looked upon by many as the possessor of so much dignity as to be unappreachable by the ordinary citizen, and ready to brook any attempt to con- verse with him on the part of any with whom he was unacquainted, unless in line of duty. This impression, to a great de- gree, is due more to the stately, dignified appearance of the old warrior than to aught else, for he was great in stature as well as in name and character, and when mounted and in full uniform, his head cov- ered by a chapeau, surmounted with a yel- low feather drop plume, he was a perfect colossus amid ordinary-sized officers. I shared this impression for a long time, and when I saw him, accompanied by a ser- vant, making purchases at market, like any other citizen, I did not change my opinion, for I looked on it simply as a di- version for him. I learned soon that the impression I and others had of him was all wrong. It was in 1855 that the general lived in what was known as the Chain House, on the site of the Hotel Fredonia, on H between 13th and 14th streets, and I, as a boy. was employed in Bishop's periodical and news store under Willard’s Hotel. The general was one of our patrons, and some- times came to the store, but usually sent orders. When he came, he seldom used more words than were necessary in mak- ing an inquiry or leaving an order, and I being somewhat diffident, this suited me. Corgress had just conferred upon him the renk of lieutenant general, and a morning or two after he dropped in the store. With bis advancement in my mind, I got over my diffidence, and as soon as he had been waited upon by a fellow clerk, I walked up to him and sald: ‘General, allow me to ex- terd my congratulations that your long ycars of service have been recognized.’ ‘T thank you kindly, sir,’ answered the old warrior, taking my little hand in his, and helding it tightly. After a little pause, with pathos in his voice, he said, slowly: ‘Young man, it is said that republics are Ungrateful, but it ts not true! At least it Is not true of my country!’ He strongly em- phesized the words ‘my country,’ and his eyes moistened as he spoke, and two or three tears glistened on his cheeks as he turned to leave. The old man appeared to me more of a herole general than ever be- fore, fully sensible of the honor conferred by the act, and showing his appreciation by tears of gratitude. After this I found him quite affable, and the sobriquet ‘Old Fuss and Feathers’ was always hurtful to me to hear.” — Showed the Duke How to Stop. From the Weekly Telegraph. During his visit to the United States the late Duke of Marlborough made a host of friends. His quick eye, unassuming man- ner and ability to grasp easily the many- led electrical questions won the honest dmiration of the practical Yankee, whose iceal of an English duke differed in every way from the real live British peer. Upon one occasion, however, the old domineering spirit of the duke gained the mastery, and he paid for the temporary lapse from re- publican manners with a few good bruises and a rather severe shaking up of the dvcal frame. ‘The duke was mairg a tour of inspection over one of the Chicago cable lines, and came across a cable car driver, who was a 1 Yankee, born and bred in the state of Connecticut. ‘an you stop the car quickly his_grace. “I fist_recken ye kin bet yer life I can, Mister Duke.” “How soon?” . In ‘bout two yards,” replied thé Yankee. “Nonsense!” sharply exclaimed his grace. The next moment the duke was busy pick- ing himself out cf a small sand bank by the side of the tram line into which the abrupt stoppage of the car had thrown him. As he quletly brushed himself the Yankee smiled and-remarked: “I hope yer ain't hurt, Mr. Duke! Guess yer think I kin stop her suddint now, don't yer?” ——+e+—__ Get $2,000 for Driving Hin Wagon, From the Lexington American. A few years ago a well-to-do but extrava- gant farmer living out on the Russell Cave pike went to Mr. Hart Boswell and asked him to see his brother Dave of the North- ern Bank and tell him that he wanted to borrow $2,000, and tell him that it would be all O. K., ete. Mr. B. told him that he would not do it, but gave him the follow- ing tip: “I see you or your wife calling negroes out of the field two or three times a day to hitch your rigs up to go to Lexington, and I see you stop hands from their field work to drive a load of corn to market. You stop all this foolishness and drive the wagon of corn yourself, then g0 to the bank and ask for what you want.” The man went according to direc- tiors, and after he had sold his corn he went to the bank and asked for the $2,000. Mr. R. T. Anderson, one of the directors, was present, and, without asking any ques- tions, said: “Any man who drives his own wagon can borrow all the money he wants at the Northern Bank.” This little trans- action changed this man’s condition in life, and he was no longer a money borrower. see Just a Little of the Gravy. From the Detrott Journal. An ex-confederate soldier of South Caro- lina tells this story: “I had a friend who was a chaplain in our Army—a good man, as such men should be. Several of his own church members were in the same reg- iment. He kept a sharp eye on us, and tried to train us in the way we should go. When we were rather short for rations some of the boys brought in a fine young porker. ‘Now, boys, that’s wrong,’ said he; ‘it is simply stealirg, and you ought t to do it.’ * “Well, our consciences don't trouble us, asked vith their affairs. in conn It is not that they do not know of them themselves, but with the thousands of other little things to remember they forget. It is for von that I would like to remind cumbers are the most effect- ‘3 of roaches of anything that It is not necessary to cut up the cucumbers, for the ordinary trimmings from them when being prepared for the table will suffice. Simply scatter the peel ©r trimmings about in the places where the roaches are seen. them and thereby ends his existence. In The roach eats | Wouldn't eat it, and I won't, but’—passing and yours won't trouble you when we get this meat cooked; you will want some of it, too.” “*No, I won't eat it. stolen meat.” “But we divided it up among the boys, and proceeded to cook a ham in the best possible style.-The smell of it fairly made our teeth water, and when it was cooked we were more than ready for it. ““There’s a fine piece; cut that off for the chaplain,’ said one. ““*No, I thank you,’ said he. I'd as soon eat ‘I said I up his ,Plate—I'll take a Mttle of the case the roach does not feel hungry enough | 8Tavy-’ ” the first night and the cucumber is not ———+o+—___. ‘Why He Was Courageous. From the Ohicago Post. “I think,” she said, hesitatingly, and with downcast eyes, “that you'd better speak to papa. “Sure,” he replied promptly. “That's dead easy. The only thing that troubled me was the interview with you.” “You're not afraid of papa? she sald, inquiringly, opening her eyes in astonish- ment. peshfrala!” he exclaimed. “Why should I be “Really, I don’t know,” she answered, “but it's usual. you know.” “Oh, I suppose so,” he answered in the off-hand way of the man of the world. With inexperienced men there would be nothing surprising in it, but I have taken the precaution to loan ‘him money, which is still unpaid.” Then it was that the beautiful girl real- ized that.she had caught a genuine flnan- cler for a husband. A Deadlock, From the Chicago Record. “Neither of your typewriter girls. has taken a vacation this- summer.” “No; there's a good-looking young man in the office, and-neither of the girls is willing to go away and leave the, field to the other one.”* She (anxiously)—“Do you think, dear, that papa will consent?” “He can't help it. If he doesn't, I am ens. to tell hint I shall leave his employ.” fe. WHEN THERE WERE SLAVES|A MOUNTAIN. THAT SINGS Features of the Institation Prior to Emanci- pation, =~ The Law Was More Severe on Free Negroes Than Were the People of Washington. “Ninety-nine hundredths of the people of Washington have no just idea of what siavery was in the District of Columbia,” said an old resident the other day. “They think,” he continued, “that there were slave pens on every square and auc- tion blocks in full sight’ all over town. They see in their minds the horrid whip- ping post on ground where now are marble palaces or bronze figures of war heroes. And the vivid picture of the ‘slave gang,” with clanking chains, shuffling and weary limbs. downcast eyes, and the pitiful hope- lessness of the bondman on his way to the southern cane and cotton field, is readily thrown upon the screen of imagination. All this Is wide of the truth. Slavery in the District was quite unlike the ‘institution’ in the south. The Situation Over-Painted. It was the fashion forty years ago to hold up the District as a veritable hotbed of slave traders, slave drivers and slave own- ers, and on more than one occasion pic- tures which may have been true to nature in other places, but were totally untrue in this section, were widely published and the scenes laid in this city. While it cannot denied there: was some slave-holding here, there was little or none of the hor- ror of slavery seen. Many of our oldest inhabitants never saw a ‘gang in chains driven through -the streets.’ There were few ‘nigger’ jails here, the principal one being near B and 8th streets, another on Maryland avenue near 6th, and a third on 6th street opposite the Pennsylvania rail- road station; but these were used more for transieats—slaves en route to other fielde— than for those owned in the District. That considerable dealing ae bl: robably the observation few original republicans who “need: es from boyhood would hardly be ‘believed This gentleman said not long ago: “I never saw but one gang of slaves, and that was in the thirties, and of all I ever heard of as having been sold out of the District I never heard of but one who did not de- serve it.” It was the Principle, however, Provoked criticism, and had there imen tat Qne slave in the ‘country he would have been as ardent in his anti-slavery. senti- athe color of his skin, yellow, chocolate or black, was enough to place the unfortunare who wore it in the category of chattels. Under the law such a person was simply. an animate thing. Those who bad no oun. ers for the most Part were but little better off, for freedom did not feed or support them, nor were they allowed as much priv- lege as the well-behaved slave. ‘The latter had no care or responsibility, for the owner would not knowingly allow his property to depreciate. Consequently, it was rare in the old days to see any evidence of want of {cod or clothing about a slave. Some of these felt proud of their masters though it cannot be denied that the very name of slave was repugnant, and the thought of freedom was an inspiring one. Most. of the free negroes and mulattocs found homes by renting houses. Some owned properiy through trustees, and usually located in neighborhoods, their early settlements be- ing mostly in alleys. Thus “Nigger Hills” were located in the neighborhood of 10th Sn: REE Oe and M, 3d and L streets rthwest, and M and gd’ s st, anc in other parts of the city, “Outneast, and Free Negroes Prospered. These free negroes engaged in driving carriages, wagons and carts, whitewashing and laboring werk. The women took in washing, hired out as servants, and not a few were hotel employes and waiters. There were a few quite well-to-do, holding property under a white trustee, and al- though the law was much against them, they succeeded and had the respect of the whites. “It was the law that was against us,” says an old colored resident, “in the days when the slaves felt above me and called me a ‘poor free nigger.’ If the law had treated us as well as the people did we wouli have had no cause to ccmplain. Any well-behaved colored person could get along; and often we were not molested by the police when they might have run us in. With some officers, however, we had to Keep shady, for there were ‘cops’ who would not give us the least show. As a rule, if we did not put on too many airs we got along. Then there was the privilege the white people had of drinking at any time between 4 o'clock in the morning and midnight—twenty hours out of twenty-four while we could only get liquor between sunrise and sunset. Of course, I am speak- ing of the ordinary times, when there was no talk of running off slaves or some zealot had stirred up the public feeling. Two or three times I have known how to be pru- dent and keep shady when the public mind of the whites was such that it would have taken little to inflame it. Then we all had to be cautious.” The laws the old man referred to were those of the corporation. These required that all free black or mulatto males over sixteen and females over fourteen should prove their title to freedom to the register of the city and obtain a written“permit to reside here. For disorderly conduct they were required to give bond in $20 to keep the peace. For gambling they had to pay a fine of $10. For naving a dan ball or “assembly” without permit a like fine was required. For being out after 10 o'clock at night without a pass or permit from some justice or respectable citizen they were Mable to a like fine and confinement till morning. For drunkenness or profanity the fine was $3. For failure to give bond or pay the fine commitment to the work- house was prescribed. The act was mado applicable to slaves, and not exceeding thirty-nine stripes on the bare back pre- oa as the punishment if a fine was not paid. Free negroes and mulattoes coming into the city were required to prove their free- dcm and give $00 security for good be- havior for twelve months. No license could be procured by a free negro or mulatto, or for them by another, for other than driving carts, drays, carriages or wagons; nor could they hold secret or private meetings after 10 o'clock at night, under a penalty of five dollars, —— A Matter of Education. From the Boston Herald. I was sitting on a keg of nails in a West Virginia mountain store, watching a native dickering with the merchant over a trade of a basket of eggs for a calico dress. After some time a bargain was closed, the native walked out with the dress in a bun- dle under his arm, and I followed him. “It isn’t any business of mine,” I said, “but I was watching that trade, and was surprised to see you let the eggs go for the dress.” “What fer?” he asked, tn astonishment, as he mounted his horse. “How many eggs did you have?” “Basket full.” “How many dozen?” “Dunno. Can’t count.” “That's where you miss the advantages of education. With knowledge you might have got two dresses for those eggs.” ut I didn’t want two dresses, mister,” he argued. “Perhaps not, but that was no reason why you should have paid two prices for one. Tne merchant got the advantage of you because of his education. He knew what he was about.” He looked at me for a minute, as if he felt real sorry for me. Then he grinned and pulled his horse over close to me. “I reckon,” he half whispered, casting furtive glances toward the store, “his eddi- cation ain’t so much more’n mine ez you think it is. He don’t know how many uv them aigs is spiled, an’ I do,” and he rode away before I could argue further. —_+e-+____ He Knew Them. From Life. In a western town a clergyman was ex- horting his congregation in regard to their treatment of the new minister, soon to arrive, and closed up with: =. “And above all things, when he gets hete. I 1 gece all to pray for him: He'll Musical Performaposs bf One of the Peaks of c at Said to Be the Ghestly Shricks of Dead Warniors, ,Whe Plunged From a Pyeeighce Near By, b- + Written for The Evgiing thr, It Hawaii is annexed to_ this country, the United States wilb:possess a mountain that sings. Remirkabje as this statement may seem, it is Iiterajiy a fact. Mt. Tan- talus, just outside of Honolulu, can be made to sing any song-er run any score in the whole musical repertoire. The natives attribute it all to the ghosts of departed warriors said to inhabit the fastnesses round about, but science has found the real explanation. Nevertheless, the native attribution is interesting, and well worth consideration before the more prosaic ex- planation forces itself upon one. Six miles out: of-Honolulu the precip- {tous cliffs of Mt. Pali rise 2,000 feet above the sea. About 200 fect up is a ledge which gives a clear drop of more_than'1,000 feet. From this. comes the. name of Pall, or precipice. Here, in ancient Hawaiian his- tory, the great fighting chief, Kamehameha I, penned in, the. vanquished forces of his arch enemies, Fpnsnipple and Kaiana, after forcing the: rom field to fiéld and crag to crag in a terrible mountain fight. Standing upon this fatal crag, the rem- bands, finding that nants of the defpated no quarter would be ven, and seeing no means of escape, lea; oyer the precipice. They were dashed fo pieres on the rocks and debris below. Hundreds lay in that terrible heap of.death. : To the east of Pall is thé mountain called Tantalus. The top of it is voiced like a dreamland, aha even the most staid nature will thrill and_be mystified by its sweetness and melancholy. It is at nighttime only when the plaintive and sttange-sounds are heard which falt upon the startled senses like “Jamentations in. the wind,” “strange screams Of death.” At times they are loud ang boisterous, like midnight revels, and again they soften into a complete wail. ‘These voices which moan and scream and sob about in the night winds are believed by superstitious natives to be the spirits of the warriors whose mangled bodies lay at the foot of Pali after that dreadful leap, and whose menes are still unappeased. Where It All Comes From, To destroy this pretty illusion is almost barbarous. Still, these sounds so reverent- ly listened to by the Oahu natives van be caused by nothing more than the ocean breakers beating on the windward shore, and the plaintive cadence of the calmer surf below, alternating with the angry and wilder scolding of the storm above, echo- ing among the dales and crags of the iofty mountain. The feeling as of the presence of human spirits about you cannot be shaken off, and the weird song of terror as of human voices cannot be hushed nor translated into their sounds by even a strong mind. On a dark night a sensitive and superstitious mind could not endure with comfort the hideous forebodings of the scene. Now, if two persons whose voices chord should sing from one of the heights it will be found that the mountain will catch up the song and take it:from cliff to cliff, carrying it off into the distance in one direction and bringing it back in another, until a perfect round is obtained. Then, if the two singers suddenly cease their “‘feed- ing” song, the mountains will go on sing- ing it for quite a long time. The same song is being repeated in all directions, the first part making a complete circle and be- ing followed by the middie and the last part, which come, around later. It might be a few seconds, it might be a few min- utes, for the singer forgets to count the ticks as the chant of this weird air, cut loose from human lungs, reverberates alone through the broken chasms and..riven rocks as of spirits earoling their way among the glades and crags of this sing- ing mountain. It, is a long and tedious climb to Tantalus, but once there, the lingering visitor will never regret or forget its romance and. the..melancholy cadence of its winds. ‘This spot abounds in curiosities. Not far: away is a large and strange salt lake. It is completely shut in from the ocean by a circle of hills about 700 feet high, which girdle it. The tide rises and falls in the lake as it does in the big ocean miles away. Though there is no perceptible tun- nel or. other connection with the ocean, these, tidal conditions indicate a subter- ranean channel underneath the mountains to the sea. Great quantities of salt were once made at this lake. That industry is dead now. ee A DISTINGUISHED VISITOR. The Ex-Empress Eugenie Received on Board U. S. $. San Francisco, While the United States ship San Fran- ¢.sco was lying at anchor in the port of Smyrna, Asia Minor, a few weeks ago it was honored by an unexpected visit from the widow of Emperor Louis Napoleon, the erstwhile famous beauty, whose countless elegant toilets used to set the fashion for Europe and America. One day the skipper of a trim steam yacht, which had just added one more to the many ships in the harbor, came aboard the American cruiser with the not un- usual request to bring a rarty to visit the latter. ‘The permission was fromptly and cor- dially given, and at the appointed hour a natty steam yacht came alongside the San Francisco. The visitors, consisting of an elderly lady, two young ladies and two gentlemen, were received at the gangway by two of the senior officers, and ,escorted all over the white ship. Much pleasure was expressed at every- thing shown, but heavy batteries and the electrical fittings called forth especial ad- miration. The elderly lady showed an intense in- terest regarding the navy and the present state of affairs of our country, asking many questions in fluent English, although evidently she was of foreign birth. She spoke of her nephew, the late Jerome Bona- parte, but evidently desiring to preserve her incognito, the cfficers felt in honor bound to respect her silence until just be- fore leaving, after the skipper had told the officer of the day that the elderly lady was the ex-Empress Eugenie, when they addressed her as “your majesty.” The royal visitor expressed her gratifica- tion at the attention shown her and her suite by inviting her entertainers to “‘af- ternoon tea’ on her yacht the following day, which invitation was accepted with thanks and much enjoyed. The former empress did the honors of her yacht as gracefully as if she were still in the Louvre, the first lady of France, instead of an exile from her own land and mistress of a yacht. er Not Very'Likety, From Punch. - = ‘Waiter (in-response to the colonel’s very vigorous: reminder}—“Oh, yes, ‘sir, tmme- 'M—let’s seo-e glass of milk, sir, diately’ wash’t It?” To know tively! © that ‘are N{ubbey Cak> Ginga Ou the bottom.of ogch piece. -- " JOHNSON” Written Exclusively for The Evening Star. A Bachelor's Confession. In love-stories only you'll meet her, "Mongst yellow and torn magazines; In quaint-looking costumes you greet her, A stranger to these busy scenes. And her curioug hats and odd bonnets No contrasts more striking can show, Than the fondness for love-knots and son- nets = Of the old-fashioned girl with “a beau,” She opened her casement to listen To the notes of a pleading guitar, Wher the stars caused the poplars to glisten And the mocking bird answered afar. And she learned from the language of flowers The nothings hé wished her to know, As she strayed through the blossoming bowers, The old-fashioned girl with “a beau.” The ballads of then I abandon And carol the popular tune; Yet I long to be humming “Belle Brandon,” And even “The Lone Silver Moon.” And it’s hard to pretend to be scornful, For she smiled with those songs long ago, Or wept when the cadence was mournful, The old-fashioned girl with ‘a beau.” I bow to the lass with a liking For languages, science and art; Who is clever at tennis or biking— There is homage for her from my heart. But it cannot displace the affection, Which, half 'gainst my will I bestow, As I see her in sweet retrospection— The old-fashioned girl with “a beau. * * * Shades of Difference. “Poor Mr. Doddles!” exclaimed Miss Cay- enne in a tone of dee) sympathy. “Why,” was the reply, “he’s subject for congratulation; not an object of sympathy.” “Poor Mr. Doddles!” sighed Miss Cay- enne once more. “But he ts perfectly happy now. You evidently haven't heard abcut it. He is to be married.” “Yes. I had heard about it. Do you know the young woman?” “No. But I understand that she is beau- tiful, amiabl- and intellectual. I am told that his family does not approve of the merriage, but I fail to perceive wh: “It 1s easy enoug to understand. Her moether isn’t in society and her father tsn’t in the army nor in the navy vor in Wall street. So I fail to see how it can be re- garded as anything except an unfortunate arrangement.” “But it might make a difference in your cpinion if, instead of being a friend of Mr. Doddiles’ family, you weve a friend of the lady's.” “Of course it would,” was the prompt reply. “It is a question of variable consid- erations and fine distinctions. But the rule is, revertheless, absolute. When a rich young man whom you krow marries a lady without money wkom you don’t know, it’s a sad mistake on his part, and she ought to be ashamed of herself.’ But when a dowerless young woman whom you do know marries a rich man whom you con't krow, it is a jolly good match and you're sure ey will have the happiness they deserve * * A Victim of Veracity. “I won't try to impose on anybody,” said the man with weather-beaten apparel. “I don’t say that the hard times are respon- sible for my present condition. it was just a case of indi- vidual bad luck. 1 nad a job that came about as near being A gy2_finecure as any- PY thing you ordinarily Mate ffinear about. But 1 had to give it up. 1 suffered by being too conscientious. I did my _ work too well.” “What were your duties?” “Seeing sea-ser- pents. I was hired by the owner of a hotel at a summer resort. He explained to me that it was a good thing for the ho- tel to have a sea-serpent seen now and then. The guests, he said, would be too busy bowling and playing billiards and driving to see them for themselves, but it would gratify them to know that there were some around, and it was my busiaess to see that they weren't disappointed. I took hold with a good deal of enthusiasm, because I have read many scientific ar- ticies on the subject, and I am convinced that there is some submarine monster which now and then comes to the surface, and which has been vulgarly designated a sea-serpent.”” “Then you were peculiarly qualified for your employment.” “That's what I thought. I took a boat and went fishing. That was the way I had to put in my time, the landlord told me. He said it would be a little confining at first, but he assured me that there would be no use of my telling how I had seen a sea-serpent if I was seen doing nothing but swinging in hammocks or riding on merry- go-rounds. The first day I kept a sharp look-out, but with no results. The land- lord was waiting for me on the piazza, and as I came up he exclaimed so that every- body could hear: ‘Ah, Mr. Sinkers, I hope you had a good day's sport.’ I have a nat- ural aversion to falsehood, so I simply an- swered, ‘Not very.’ ‘Didn't you have any adventures of any kind?’ he asked, and I had to reply in the negative. He scowled at me, and, after winking one eye several times, asked me whether I hadn't had any experiences in any way unusual. But I re- fused to jeopardize my honor. He came to me in private, and asked me what I meant by such conduct. I replied that I thought he was a little bit unreasonable; that it was too much to expect a man to go out and see a sea-serpent the first day. He said he hadn’t looked at it-in that light, and that maybe I was right. Day after day ke persecuted me with significant inquiries before folks, until I was tempted to throw up the position. But I knew another would be hard to obtain, so I kept at it. At last one afternoon I saw a strange creature billowing itself along the surface of the sea. I recognized it at once. It was the animal which eminent men of learning have identified with the so-called sea-ser- pent. I-shouted for joy, and hurried to the landlord. 1 met him alone just in front of the hotel.” “I should think he would have been im- mensely pleased.” “That is what I expected. I told him I had seen a sea-serpent. He looked at me and said: ‘Well, suppose you have; this is no time of day to come around telling it, is it?’ Ifinformed him that I didn’t want to lose any time, becauge I supposed he would want to get a boat and go and look at it himself. I advised him to take a few wit- nesses and to hurry up, as it was swim- ming fast, and would soon be gone.” “Of course, he did so.” ~ “No; he merely looked at me, pityingly, and said: ‘That’s all right, my good man. You go into the bar and get brace yourself. Then come here and get the money due you. You mean well; but you have too strong an imagination, and your nerves won't stand the work.” = * The Tarning of the Worm. The driver of the ice wagon was prised to see the occupant of the house sitting..op the front doorstep as he drove up» As soon:as the wagon stopped ing a small chunk, started toward the house with it. “Hold on,” said the customer. that ir.” “You needn't bother.” “But I know just where to put it.” “All right. But you want to be quick, for it’s a warm day, and we'll have to de- liver the stuff in sponges if we let it stay out in the sun much longer.” The customer seized the tongs and dis- appeared. In a little while he came out of the house and, seating himself on the door- step, began.to whistle. “Well! well!” shouted the iceman, can’t stay here till next winter.” “Tll take “I “Are you waiting for anything? the customer, blandly. “Of course, I'm waiting for something. I want my tongs.” “What tongs?” tec The, tOnES You just used to carry the n. inquired “Maybe you've gone down town unbe- wn to anybody and bought out the ice company with all its furniture,” was the sarcastic rejoinder. “No. But I bought those tongs. I pay aoe uch a pound for your commodity, .- I noticed that the tongs were weighed in with the rest, and I am not go- ing to pay for tongs at so much a pound and then not get them. I have been taking ice from you for the last three months, and that makes at least ninety pairs of tongs still due me. If you have any proposition ready, to trade of ice for tongs, I'm willing to listen to it.” * *** ‘The Kulbul by the Sea. “It is human nature,” writes the Bulbul of Pohick, “for people not to want to go to the seashore without having something said about it in the paper. And I candidly ad- m{t that however superior I may be in a portry way, I am brim full of human na- ture in other respects. In order that the world may know how poetesses feel at the seashore, I have composed this piece, en- titied, THE BRINY DEEP. Oh, boundless ocean, whose waves do roll, And roll and roll beyond control, You certainly do stir up my soul. I see far-off ships sinking "neath the hori- zon and things like that, Calculated to prove that the earth is round and not flat, And I am filled with thoughts sublime, Which kind of burst in all at once, instead of coming one at a time. I stand upon the shore and gaze And think about the sea’s peculiar ways. For you, oh, ocean, deep and vast, Forever have been and forever will last; While man comes around for a single day And pays his hotel bill and slides away. How melancholy sweet and long Is the low, sad note of the breakers’ song! I have been planning ever since spring To come down and hear the breakers sing; But I'm sorry to say, now that I'm here, I listen in vain for the breakers on ac- count of the talk And the music playing upon the board walk. But the breakers that curl upon the shore Are cute to look at, even though you can- not hear them roar. It would make many a girl happy, through and through, If her frizzes would only curl the way those breakers do. But the thing that mostly astonishes me As I look upon the deep blue sea, Is to think that under the surface nearby Are sunken wrecks and coral caves and shells suitable for bric-a-brac, and cod fish and clams and other things not visible to the naked eye. From great emotion I cannot refrain As I think, oh, ocean, of the curiosities you contain. It is something I shall never forget— That majestic expanse, so large and wet. 1 could not have found any fault with the place, If it had not been for some of my fellow- members of the human race. Ah, there are sights which I beheld Whose memory cannot be dispelled. For I saw young ladies who I know would have hid, Could they have seen themselves as others did. And as for me, I would never go into wa- ter which was not up to my chin. And I would wear a mackintosh till I got clear in. x x * An Opportunity at Hand. The old colored man dropped his chin so far to look over the top of his glasses that he had to seize them to keep them from failing off. The pic- ture which confront- ed him was calculat- ed to excite interest. Mr. Erastus Pinkley, clad in a Prince Al- bert coat, high hat and patent leather shoes, carried an im- itation alligator-skin bag in his left hand, while under his right arm he held an umbrella, a pick- ax and a shovel, all tied together with rope. “I thort I'd come aroun’ an’ bid you all good-bye,” said Erastus, after waiting in vain for some greeting. “I doesn’ see de wagon,” was the re- joinder. it wagon, uncle?” “De one dat’s gwineter haul yer to de ‘sane asylum, whah yoh b'longs.” “Dat isn’ whah I's boun’ foh. I's gwine- ter make my fohchune. I's gwineter go up norf whah de géid diggin’s is been dis- covuhed. I done hyuhd it read out o’ de tt de gold is comin’ in quartz up J’s made up min’ ter happen along an’ gather up a gallon or so.” “Sonny,” said the old man, “whut is de furthest norf yoh evuh was?” “I's been clah to Baltimo’,” was the arswer. “I kin fin’ de way dat far, an’ I reckons, when I gits dar, I kin ax de di- rections de res’ er de trip.” “Does yer know anyfing “bout minin’?” “Yass, indeed. I dons hyuhd dat read outn’ de paper, too. Yoh jes’ goes ‘stakes out yoh claim and digs up yoh nebber happen ter hit yoh an’ dar you i: “An’ it didi min’ dat dah’s been a heap o’ stakin’ goin’ on all dishere time?’ “Dah’s lot’s 0’ room.” dar is. An’ dishere town’s full o’ lots, but we pays rent jes’ de sal mi. “Mebbe I'll hafter take er job wuckin’ on some yuthuh man’s claim foh awhile. But I's gwireter go inter de minin’ busi- negs.”” “Well, I'll gib yer a chance. I’s got er claim all staked out an’ I needs somebody ter hep me wu’k ‘it. You come aroun’ hyuh wif yoh old clothes on an’ I'll show yer how ter do some prospectin’ wif a hoe. *Twon’ be no time befo' you opens up vein and de fus’ t'ing you knows you’ acne plunked right inter a pocket er pota- toes! Den yoh puts ‘em away an’ goes Prospectin’ some mo’. Hit ain’ ez excitin’ in some ways as de yuthuh kind o’,minin’, but I tells yer dis: you stan’s a heap bet- ter chance o” strikin’ pay-dirt.” * A Swift Humiliation. “It is an everlasting and incontrovertible fact,” remarked the undersized man, “that pride goes bet @ fall. I used ‘to have some doubts on the subject, but they have <3 gold fe} © === all been swept away by the events of this afternoon.” “It was a sudden conversion.” “Yes; but it was a complete one. I am pot in the habit of gloating over the mis- fortunes of others, but I must confess that ® great wave of satisfaction went over me when I saw the proud structure of self- esteem which Loftins has been rearing all these years totter and tumble to the dust.” “Has he met with difficulty?” “Yes. And it did me good to see the way he got red in the face and then turned pale when he realized his position.” “He has a haughty manner. You see, he is a self-made man, and, as a consequence, takes especial pride in his success. Re- verses cannot fail to go hard with him.” “This one did.” “You were with him when the blow fell? And instead of sympathizing with him you turn around and exult in his misery!” “Well, if you want to put it in that kind of language, it's what I'm doing. He had been talking loud and had half succeeded in convincing me that I didn’t know much, and that what I did know wasn't of any account. He had been laying down the law on every question that came up for con- versation, and showing me where all the theories I had ever formed about anything from politics to boiling an egg were totally wrong. Then came the crash. the awful instant in which what seemed to be a tower of strength proved as flimsy and perishable as the decoration on a wedding cake!” “The blow came in the shape of a tele- gram?” “No. It was delivered by one of his own family. He had just settled back in his chair, with his thumbs in the armholes of his vest, to enjoy my silent embarrass- ment, when his twelve-year-old son came into the room with a lot of things he want- ed his father to tell him about the siege of Troy, the battle of Thermopylae and how to extract the cube root. From the Chicago Record. A western railroad having its headquar- ters in Chicago was reorganized and some new officials were brought on from the east. There was a readjustment of titles and the superintendent evolved a system by which the duties of every employe were to be most clearly understood. John Connors, who had helped to build the road and who had been on the pay roll for years, was advanced to the title of master mechanic and superintendent of maintenance of way. About a week after his appointment he was hastily summoned to the office and was given an order: “To John Connors, master mechanic and superintendent of maintenance of way This is to inform you that culvert No. 163, in section 14, one and one-half (1%) miles east of Effner, has been destroyed by fire. You will proceed with all possible hasie to the chief engineer, who will provide you with the necessary plans and specifications. By requisition on the purchasing agent you will be enabled to secure such material af may be necessary, and the superintenden of motive power will place at your diss posal” There were other directions, but when John Connors had read this far he folded the letter and put it in his pocket. “That's what we call the Wilson culvert said he. “tind to it.” That was Saturday. On Monday morning the general superintendent came to his office at 10 o'clock, pushed a bell and di- rected the private secretary to order the special messenger to summon the master mechanic and superintendent of mainten- ance of way. john Connors came to the office. “Mr, Connors,” began the general super- intendent, “have you received from the chief engineer the plans and specifications for that new culvert in section M4? “I'll tell you,” replied the master me- chanic and superintendent of maintenance of way, “the bridge is done and the trains have been runnin’ since daylight, but I haven't seen the picture of ft yet. —se- The Kitten’s Last Visit to the Lion, From the Cineinrat! Enquirer. Last night a little, purring kitten rubbed herself in friendly fashion against the great iron bars of the den of Old Paul, the Zoo's famed lion, of whom extreme age has made a pitiable show these many weeks. It was the kitten’s way of coaxing Paul to come to say goodnight to her, for Paul and kittie were best of friends. She was the orly bit of outside life that Paul was ever friendly with. Every night for weeks kit- je has crept shyly up in front of the bars of her old Jion lover's home, and when she mewed to him he came forward and put his great shaggy head as close to her as he could, and they caressed each ot Last night when kittie came, bing coaxingly against the bars, mewed all ecftly to her jungle lover to come and say geodnight, Paul just lay still, his head be- tween his paws, and didn't notice her st ali. Tiring of coaxing him, the faithful kittie stopped and just looked and looked at the noble, great fellow. Finally a keeper saw her do’ something that instinct never let her do before. She shyly crept through the big, black iron bars, and going in, caressed the great, bowed head in her most lcving way. But there was no response. Then kittie slowly went away, and Paul slept on—the sleep that knows no waking. Scores of people who had known the old lion for rearly twenty years had just been visiting him, and hosts of tiny children had tossed him kisses just as death was com- ing on, He died exactly as Superintendent Stephan in the the Enquirer a month ago said he would, “as if asleep, with his head between his paws.” How She Cured Him. From the Clevaland Leader, Mr. Cyrus Bulwinkle is a'man of good in- tentions and the possessor of a heart about the size of a load of hay, but recently he fell into the habit of swearing. Not that he thought it smart to swear, or that he was prone to lose his temper, but somehow he got to interjecting wicked oaths inte ordinary conversation with a recklessness thet tended to frighten people —especially ladies—who were not used to his ways. : Mrs. Bulwinkle worried over it a great deal. She remonstrated with her husband and begged that he would be more careful. “Pshaw! Mr. Bulwinkle would reply at such times, “what's the use being so —— fussy? My swearing doesn't amount to anytlirg. It’s all from the surface—mere- ly a habit, you know. I guess it’s because the bcys in the office swear so like —.” Seeing that it was impossible to stop him by ary ordinary means, the lady resolved to apply heroic treatment. So, a few evenings ago, when Mr. Bul- winkle came home from the office he took a lcok at the lawn, and then bounded up the front steps to the perch, where his wife vas awaiting him. “Henrietta,” he exclaimed, “why don’t you Leve the man mow our grass and fix up the yard? It looks like —.” “Oh, I don’t care a — how it looks,” she calmly replied. Mr. Bulwinkle stopped as if he had been shot. He turned pale and looked at his wife in amazement. For a moment he thought his ears must have deceived him, Then he noticed a slight twinkle in her eves, and, going up to her and putting ag arm around her, he said: “All right, dear, I'l quit.” And he did. ——+o+—____ Where She Comes In. From Life. Finnicus—“I tell you a man never appre- clates his wife till he gets into trouble.” Cynnicus—“That's 80; it’s a big satisfao- tion to have some one to blame for it. ——-o+—____ Never. From the New York Weekly. Lawyer—“If you and your husband can’( agree, why don’t you agree to disagree?” Fair Client (firmly)—“Never! If I’ to di » he'd think I'd weakened. ———_+e+—___ How through a single movement ef the and, rub-