Evening Star Newspaper, May 7, 1896, Page 12

12 THE EVENING STAR, THURSDA , MAY 7, 1896-SIXTEEN PAGES, THE EVENING STAR has a Larger Circulation in the Homes of ’ Washington than all the Other Papers of the City Added Together, because it Stands Up Always for the Interests of ALL THE PEOPLE of WASHINGTON; does not Strive to Divide the Community into : Classes, and Array one class Against the others; Contains the Latest and Fullest Local and General News; and Surpasses all the Other Papers in the City in the Variety and Excellence of its Literary Features. It Literally Goes Everywhere, and is Read by Everybody. It is, therefore, as an Advertising ‘Medium without a Peer, Whether Cost or Measure of Publicity be Considered. EDW. &. ALE, D. Open Letter From the Fa= mous Divine and Author. Telling of the Absolute Merit Possessed by a Remedy for Ner= vous Debility. THE MOST NOTEWORTHY TESTIMONIAL EVER GIVEN-IT HAS HELPED THOUSANDS OF SICK PEOPLE. ‘The best test of a remedy is the cures that it effects. The next best is the testimony of people of the bighest character as to the merits of the niedicine. Dr, Charcot’s Kola Nervine Tablets have cured thousands, and there 1s not a more famous man alive in America than Edward Everett Hale, D.D., LiD., the best-known preacher, editor, thor aud philanthropist in New England. Writ- from Boston, Dee. 23, 1595, Dr. Hale says: T have been much Interested In the Kola nut as Im Africa, where the Kola or Guru nuts ives eat the fresh nuts to prevent thirst and exhaustion. For some ‘ars the medical profession has given Kola much atten- tion because of its medicinal qualities, but hereto- fore the difficulty has been in getting the fresh nut fo an availa! preparation so as to retain the medicinal properties. ‘This difficulty is now over- come by that remarkable blishment, the Eureka Chemical and Mfg. Co. of La Crosse, Wis., which has put upon the murket a very effictent and high- Jy approved preparation. Tam assured by a careful inquiry among leading physicians and person! friends, who have used it, and in whom I have the ulnest confidence, that Dr. Charcot’s Kola Nervine Tablets are invaluable in insomnia and ail nervous diseases. EDW. E. HALE. Fiity cents and $1 at druggists, or sent direct. See Dr. Charcot’s on label, WRITE FOR FREE SAMPLE PACKAGE AND TESTIMO) Ls. Eureka Chemical and Mfg. o., La Cross gad Boston, Mass. BEE HUNTING IN TEXAS. Methods Adopted by the Busy Work- ers in the Search for Food. From the Boston Evening Transcript. To any eye except a bee hunter's a bee | in the air is invisible. I question if many people ever saw one flying, unless it was in the act of alighting on a flower, but they travel through the air as people travel on earth, and wonderful powers of sight they must have. Besides that, there is no doubt in my mind that there is an intelligent or- dering of the whole business of the hive, and a means of communicating of one with the others, Sometimes I take a lot of comb with a iit-| tle honey in it, and set it on top of a hill, or in an open place where I can see in ali directions, and leave it for a day or two, until the bees are working at it strong, and ¢an then run them home in a little while. When I have leisure, 1 stay and wait for them to come, and encourage them by burning a piece of comb every half hour or so. If it is a warm bright day in winter j and the comb is within two miles of a SWarin, they will come before the first hour 4s out. The first one, always doubling here and there, flies in ever narrowing circles | location of the| until he finds the exact sweet smell; he examines it from all sides, slowly buzzing around It, and finally alighis, inserts his long, slim tongue in a drop of honey, sets his pump to work, and in a few minutes is as full as he can fly. Slowly he rises, carefully scanning the country as he gets higher, so that he can tell the others the exact locality of his find, prob- ably. As he gets still higher, he feels con- fidence, and away he goes, slowly and care- fully, but directly toward home. I erally time the first bee, and can Judge quite accurately as to distance by that, allowing about fifteen to twenty min- utes for a mile, going and coming. The bee never delays an instant, except to un- load and make his report, and then is off again. If it is a reliable bee, his first re- port is heeded, and three bees, or In rare cases, four, are sent at once after him, arriving at the bait about a minute after the first one comes for his second load. Once or twice I have seen the first bee make two or three trips alone, as if his report had not been considered truthful enough for others to be sent to his aid. If the swarm is at work elsewhere, there are seldom more than twenty sent to the new place, but if there is no other honey to be hal, they keep coming in regular detachments until, to the experienced eye, {t Is like a Toad to a populous town, and some are go- ing loaded, others are hurrying along to have a hand in the spoil, and seldom get- ting far from the beaten track. As one nears the hive (tree or cave, as It may be), the coming and going becomes incessant. some high in the air and others close to the sround, but all busy and eager to be doing their share. nd to think that to most eyes all this is invisible! In all the men I have 1 here—probably 100 Mexicans in the past three winters—born woodsmen as they are, and true sons of nature, only one can see a bee in the air; another is learning the craft a little with my help. Truly, one may have eyes and see not! Since January 15 I have found sixteen caves and one tree containing honey, and could probably get 1.000 pounds of honey if I wanted it, but my principal pleasure is in following and watching the be. s; they are great friends of mine and are so full of order and good sense that I never tire of | Studying their habits and trying to find their hidden treasure: ——— ee —_____ HANDSOME GARTER BUCKLES. They Are Given a Place in the New Stocking Supporters. From the New York Sun. Notwithstanding the harness-like aspect of ‘the suspender garter, it is now made very attractive. There are two kinds of stocking supporters. One fastens around the waist with a satin belt, very narrow in front and behind and coming well down over the hips, where the elastics are at- tached. One piece of elastic comes down half way to the knee, and there another piece is attached with a buckle so as to form two supports for the stocking. And here’s where a woman's handsome buckles from her once beloved round garters come in. She has one attached on each suspender where the two pieces of elastic are joined, and they allow the elastic to be shortened or lengthened at will. The stocking is caught in handsome hooks or heid in place by means of a gold or silver button and loop. The other style is more popular with stout women. The suspenders are not fastened together by means of the belt, but each is attached to the side of the corset with a small gold or silver safe- ty pin. Otherwise they are like the ones just described. Since the demand for handsome sns- pender garters has increased rapidly many beautiful designs have been brought out in gold and silver. The prices vary from #8 to $100 a pair. Usually these hand- some buckles are mounted on plain nar- row silk elastic, because they are supposed to make a better show that way. Most women do not think so, however, and they no sooner get hold of a pair before they have the plain elastic covered with silk, satin ribbon or lace, and decorated with bows of very narrow ribbon. HEALS RUNNING SORES GURES the SERPENT’S STING CONTAGIOUS pletely ‘eradieatcd BLOOD POISON Be 2.2. ulcers yield to Its healing powers. “it removes the ‘palson and batlds up the system, Valuable treatise on the discase and its treatment tailed free SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., Atlanta, Ga. {OLD SPAIN’S CRUELTY How the Early Conquerors Depopu- lated the Indies, BLOODY WARS OF EXTERMINATION Gentle and Simple Aborigines Massacred by the Million. SIMILAR METHODS TODAY If anything were lacking to show the ut- ter futility of expecting redress and allevi- ation of Cuban wrongs at the hands of Spain, whatever promises of reform she may now make, one needs only to glance back at the continucus record of murder and robbery that has characterized Spain's policy in America for 400 years, ever since her discovery and conquest of the Indies. ‘Lhe most complete and graphic account of Spain's unspeakable atrocities upon the ab- criginal inhabitants of Cuba and adjacent islands is given in the “Relation,” or nar- ration, by Don Bartholomew Las Casas, the distinguished Dominican monk and bishop of Chiapas, contemporary of Ferdi- nand and Isabella and of Charles V, who in the year 1542 wrot? out his observations and submitted them to the Spanish royal council for the Indies, after uttering them oraliy to Emperor Charles V at Valladolid, Spain. From the perusal of Las Casas’ work a well-informed reader must rise with a pro- found conviction that Spain's policy in ba today differs but little from her pol- in 1511, when her “conquistadores” en- tered the island, and that the Spanish tem- perament and character have undergone but slight change in the long interval since then, the only noticeable differences being in the gage, time and surroundings, and the ccnsequent lack of opportunity and power, not of capacity, to commit like wrongs and cruelties. Were the struggling Cuba surgents of today unarmed and defens borigines, instead of being sons of oth aces, introduced into the island to super- ede the original inhabitants exterminated by Spain, there is little question but that they would suffer a similar fate. Eyewitness of Crimes. Las Casas was a native-born Spaniard and a loyal subject of the Spanish crow though widely celebrated for his keea sensibility and humanity, his liberality and bis progressive ideas. He was an eyewit- ness of many of the revolting crimes he describes, and learned of others from par- ticipants in them and from contemporary authorities. Considering the position he occupied and his facilities for information and the august tribunal he addressed, his dreadful indictment is perhaps the impressive that has ever been brou 4gainst the Spanish nation. The work was first printed in Spanish at ille, 1552, and is known to antiquarians de la Destruycion RrevissaRelacion de las Indias'—briet rarration of the destruc: tion of the Indies. It was subsequent printed succossively in Latin, Italian, Dutch, French ani Engiish, but all those early editions are now exceedingly rare. In the Congressional Library is an or- iginal of the Oppenheimer edition of 16i4 in Latin, of the Amsterdam edition of 1644 In Flemish. and of the Lon- don edition of 169 in English. The experts given below are taken from the last_named edition. Despite the naivere of the author and the quaint language of the translator, the reader will not fail to recognize betw the lmes the distinctive characteristics of the Spanish soldier and the Spanish official m Cuba today—his in- satiable greed for gold, his inhuman bru- tality, bis peculiar proveness to maladmin- istraticn and his skill in procuring im- munity therefor. And the reader may well ask, can the Spantard be expected to re- form in one year the villainies he has prac- ticed for 4007 To Exterminate Innocents. Las Casas says at the outset, speaking Benerally of the Spanish cruelties ard the inoffensive dispositicn of the West In- dian natives: “The Almighty seem: have inspired these people (the natives) a meekness and softness of humor and the Spaniards semble savage tigers, wolves and lions when enraged with pressing hunger. In whatever part of America the Spaniards have their feet, the same abominable villain to oppress and exterm: d the Ss and massacres, ate these poor in- rerpet nocents. plied thems: s forty y to ma ring the poor wretches t inhabited the is- lands, putting them to all kinds of un- heard-of torments and s s, in much that the Island of Hispariola (Haytiy, for example, which upon the arrival of the opeens contained about thr lions of people, is row reduced to than three hundred. in length equal to Valladolid and Rome, and destitute of inhabitan nd nothing but ruins are now to be seen in it, and the Islands of St. John and Jamaica have et with like treatment. The islands near Cuba and Hispaniola on the north side are sixty in number, of which’ the least fruit- ful abounds more than that planted within the Royal Garden of Seville; but they are now destitute of inhabitants. ‘Twelve Millions of People Massacred. When the Speniards first landed in tt ‘The Island of Cuba, the distance be 5 is entirely dest pyed e islands thet were above five hundred thousand souls. The Spaniards cut the throats of a great part of these, and car- ried away the rest by force to make them werk in the mines of Hispapiola. Above thirty isles north cf St. John were entirely depopulated. As fer the continent, it is certain, and what I myself know to be true, that the Spaniards have ruined tea kingdoms there, bigger than all Spain, by the commission of all sorts of barbarity and unheard-of cruelties. We dare to as- sert without fear of incurring the reproach of exaggerating that in the space of those forty years in which the Spaniards have exercised their intolerable tyranny in this new world thep have unjustly put to death above twelve millions of people, counting men, women and children; and it may be affirmed without injury ‘to the truth, upon a just calculation, that dur- Ing this space of time, above fifty millions have dicd in those countries.” Two Methods of Extermination, “The Spaniards who invaded these islands and boasted of their Christianity made use of two ways principally to exterminate the inhabitants—first, by unjust and bloody war, carried on with the utmost barbarit and cruelty; the other, by that detestable policy which inspired them to massacre all that had any remains of liberty or ende: vored to shake off their tyrannical yoke. When they had killed all the men in war they suffered the women and children to live, but with the imposition of a yoke so cruel and insupportable that their condi- tion was rendered as miserable as that of beasts. And the gold and silver these people had in their possession was the mo. tive that voluntarily pronipied the Span- jards to presecute and destroy them. In a word, the Spaniards’ avar and ambition were aroused to an excess beyond imagina~ tion, The immense riches of the new world, the tractable, sweet and good dis- position of the Indians, which rendered a descent into their country easy to any that would attempt it, have occasioned all this ravage and spoil. * * * These outrages and crueities witich these innocent people have suffered are so horrid and notorious that their tears and blood, the cry of which has reached the throne of God, will undoubt- edly draw vengeance on those who have of- fered all this violence. The report of these cruelties is spread through the whole world and has been carried even to the most bar- barous nations, and has made them abhor the Spahfards and conceive mortal hatred against them--a hatred which extends to the person of our king, as well as his sub- jects, and is extremely prejudicial to the whole nation gererally. * * * And I cannot choose but to extremely pity Spain, my native country, because I am greatly afraid God will utterly destroy it for the enor- mous crimes committed by the Spaniards who go into the Indies.” Very Similar Today. The reader may well remark that in this respect Spain's reputation is in this year of grace 1806 pretty much what it was in 1542; and the impartial Po es of history must admit that the vengeance of Provi- dence, foreseen by Las Casas, has already in a measure been visited upon his devoted country. As to Cuba, Las Casas was with the Spanish troops that carly ravaged that island. Some of the revolting scenes which he witnessed with his own eyes are strik- ingly suggestive of the peculiar Spanish methods and policy in vogue on that island today. Las Casas say ¢ “The Spanish passed into the Island of Cuba in the year 1511, There were former- ly fine and flourishing provinces to be seen, filed with vast numbers of. people, who met with no milder or Kinder treatment from the Spaniards than the rest. On the contrary, the Spaniards seemed to have redoubled their cruelty upon ‘hes2 people. “One day there came to us a great num- ber of the inhabitants of a famous city, situated about ten leagues from the place where we lodged, to compliment us and bring us all sorts of provisions and re- freshments, which they presented with great marks of joy, caressing us with the most obliging manner, But that evil spirit that possesseed the Spaniards put them into such a sudden fury against them (the natives) that they fell upon them (the na- tives) and massacred above three thousand of them, both men and women, upon the spot, without having received the least of- fense or provocation from th T was an eye-witness of this barbari* Six Thousand Children, After enumerating other instances of Spanish cruelty that came under his per- sonal observation in Cuba, Las Cz con- tinues: “The Indians of Havane (Havana prov- ince), seeing themselves reduced to a state of severe slavery, and knowing no remedy left, began to seek refuge In the deserts and mountains to secure themselves. if pos- sible, from death. Some strangled them- selves in despair; parents hanged them- selves, toxether with their children, to put the speedier end to their miseries. I saw with my own eyes above 6,000 children die in the § of three or four months, their parents being forced to abandon them, be- ing condemned to the mines. After this the Spaniards took up a resolution to pursue those Indians that were retired into the and massacred multitudes, of so that this island was depopulated ald) was Tt Is am etacle to see so fine rably ruined and un- mountains, them, ar 111, when the Spaniards and the year 1 when Las F fon, y thirty-one years, » this period sufficed pulate the island, oxtermination in Haytt. the head of “Hispaniola” (Hayti) “At this island the Span- their first vo! and yet, from his accou the Spaniards to de arrived in here at once began to persecute and mur- der the Indians, taking their wives and children, and using them, or rather abusing them, at their pleasure. The Span- jards, who were mounted on fine horses and armed with lances and swords, looked with the utmost contempt upon enemies so mean- ly equipped. and committed the most hor- rible slanghters with !mpunity. They passed through the several cities and towns, spar- t ing neither age nor sex, but kille ‘omen and chiidren, well as men. * * * They held up the bodies of mothers and children together upon their lane They cut off the hands of those they saved alive, and sent them away in that miserable condition, bidding carry the news of their calamities to those who were retired in the mountain: obliged these poor crea- tures to carry burdens hundred pound: two hundred les selves n would m; chairs an: of four-score cr a weight for a hundred or gues, and that they them- ght travel the more at ease, they hese Indians carry them in e litters on thelr shoulders.” anish Approval. Las Casas charges that the Spanish gov- ernment utterly failed to suppress and } ish the atrocitte sent out, jus of the then kingdom of Venezuela, Casas declares that “all the violences there committed were plainly approved I the treasury of the The acts and prove fairs are yet |, yet pr put to ~ poor In- » process that was made 1 of very little purpose. hose ministers of justic been sent into the Indies nothing bu Che royal formed of all but they are How like the Riclent orders and ¢ d to connive at the government of t these d pleas Spanis Ss that all of the native ed from the sword w nd "“ex- changed fe and would sell 100 or oung men at the cese, and for a horse." S estimates that the Spaniards in people by fire i ‘as and Costa Bi Down on » isthmus, he say per of In- worn out arrying the le of the Spanish ships from the rerth to the south 130 leagues distant. To increase their m ‘y were divided; their daughters were taken from the sive to the seamen and soliie their lust and appease their murmuring. How many parents have the Spaniards be. reaved of their children! How many adul- teries and other infamous. practi they been t es, the actor plices! How many people have slaved! What fountains of tear. opened! What rivers of bloo poured out!” have com- n en- Some Phases of the Revival of an Ancient Industry, From the London Globe. Among the lagoons, nearly due north of Venice, in the [sland of Murano, there live a race of men who seem to have a great future. They are the desc nts of the old Venetian glassworkers, and of late years they have jeen reviving the ancient art, which made Murano farnous in the past, of glassblowing. The old Venetian gl: Was what is com- monly called blown, but the name gives a very small idea of the manufacture. Glass has certain characteristics which give it its true beauty and value for art purposes, and thcugh you may neglect these and fcre2 it to take forms utterly foreign to its bature, you are producing not works of art, but monstrosities. Whatever glass may be, it is in its natural state not crys- talline, so that nature is outra, we grind it into sharp angular for that belong rather to other materials. The old Venetian glass was light, bright, vitreous in sppeerane , and stained with the richest pcssible colors, and all these qualities ara retained in the newly revived’ manufacture at) Mu There is one more strong point In favor of glass blown and worked cver than molded—namely, that every in- dividual piece is an original work of human art, and as it is almost impossible that any two should be exactly alike, unless their form Is very simple indeed, the buyer chooses according to his fancy, and is sure that no one else possesses a piece of ex- actly the same size and shape. In the manufacture of the ordinary ‘cut glass minium (red lead) {s frequently added to increase its brightness, but this destroys at once the characteristic lightness and, causing {t to cool more rapidly, quite pre- vents the possibility of working it in the proper ductile and malleable condition The Murano material is worked as the an. cient Venetian glass made on the same island used to be, and all the old methods bave been discovered, or at least the same effects have been produced. ee Just as a Precaution. From the Chicago Post. “Look out!" St. Peter slammed the gate, and an in- stant later there was a crash, indicating .that some one hai taken a header. “I'll have to keep it shut hereafter,” growled St. Peter, “or some of these ‘scorchers’ will succeed in getting through without showing credentials. That's the fifth one that’s tried it today.” BY USING HALL'S HAIR RENEWER GRay, faded or discolored hair assumes the natural color of youth and grows luxuriant and strong, pleas- ing’ everybody. i biel eg Renowned — gO WB a CIRCUS RING TO arkable Career of Kate Stetson, Who Died the Other Day. The derth of Mrs. John Stetscn, in Bos- ton, hos started a flood of reminiscences of her remarkably romartic career. The Cni- cago News remembers ber when her father used to run the Stokes Amphitheater in that cit and bewitching Katie would rua into the ring like a blaze of superb loveli- ness, toss her hair and leap to the horse's bare back. She smiled and grew rosy in the most bewildering fashion, and was al- ways carsfully watched by her mother, who Rever allowed anybody else to chaperon her charming little daughter. When Kate grew into womanhood she was taken away from the sawdust ring and placed in a bearding school. Still her mother wetched over her, and her father surrounded her with such simple luxuries as his circus savings allowed. Just when the rimor that Stetson would marry Vernena Jarbeau was rife, Kate Stokes, chi peroned by her comely mother, Ss a frequent guest at John Stetson’s Fifth Ave: ue Theater, in New York. Stet- son was completely captivated by the handsome circus rider, and through his in- » fearless cavestrienne secured an appearance in le te comedy, for which she rot only had an ardent penchant, PALACE, Rosalind cular strength, the daintiest of curves and had coupled astoni: th deli femirh.c beauty of outline. She married Stetson end the manager squandered his money upon his lovely wife. ‘Thi was between them that un- emotional, placid scrt of sulky devotion sometimes observable in compatibly mated pairs in peasantry or bourgeois Stetson permitted Kate all sorts of and Kate took them neither greedily or indifferently, but as due, with no par- tleular return of thanks, and her affection for John was deep rected and big hearted. In winter she 1 worderfully active wrapped ouple wi out, d to her tiny ssian vehicl own selection. ione of the trigzest s, toboggan her crew anc s sailor suits were wondertuily swagger af- usually imported, and always orig. nd immensely fetching. Si in her hunting trips and leng sails strange waters she woula arm hei a piquant brace of pistols stvck in a leather belt, studded with gold, and made more amusingly terrific by a jeweled dagger showing its hilt and sheath tp. Hor jewels were fabulous in price and once in a while exceptional in value. She cwned one or two of the world’s most cele- brated gms, and had corcnets, neckiaces and a bundle of garter buckles not equaled by the ures of any other Boston} dame’s ate casket. The splendid Stetson castle, which sits hed ward of ly up in the pol Commonwealth, avenue, has never been consecrated by Boston swelldom, but it was a great place just the same, and en- tertainments of solid if somewhat ostenta- tious hospitality brightered its years, and Mr. ard Mrs. Stetson grew to be most hap- py in their pleasant Bohemian circle of friends, who were always glad of an invi- tation to visit the big house. se IT WAS NOT A CAT. obstreperou Lawyer Smith's Flying Boot Knocked the Crook Of a High Roof. From the San Francisco Ei When Lawyer Smith threw his old boot at a miaou in the dead weste and middle of the night, and brought a burglar tum- bling down fifty feet into a pile of superfiu- ous coal oll cans, the effect on Mrs. Brown's boarding house was unexpected. It all happened a little before 2 o'clock on Sunday morning at the boarding house of Mrs. M. E. Brown, 1084 Pine street. Wiil- jam Sanborn was the burglar who was fetched off his perch by E. D. Smith's deadly boot. He had crawled along a glass roof In the rear of Mrs. Brown's house to reach one of the windows. Smith heard him crawli-ig on the roof, and at once con- cluded that ths thing was one of the un- necessary cats that have been serenading him with perseverance and regularity. He threw up his windcw. Scat!” ‘M-i-a-o-u,” said the burglar, to encour- age Smith in his belief. Now, Smith knew he was loaded for cats. He had been storing an old boot under his bed for just such occasion. With one mighty swing, away went the boot. Then came the rattle, the bumpity-bump-bump and the final crash among the coal oil cans fifty feet below. Gocd Lord, what an extraordinary cat ejaculated Smith. In an instant the corri- dors of the boarding house were filled with women. Was it an earthquake or the crack of doom? Smith was blewing his po- lice whistle with Industry and promoting the disturbance. Some of the ladies faint- ed. Smith kept on blowing.. Never a boot before in this wide world had produced such a variety of unexpected noises, The noise made by the fail was sufficient to aw*ken all the guests in Mrs. Brown's house. The men got out their pistols, and, headed by Smith, who had got through blowing his whistle, they marched to the back yard to find out what the boot had brought cown. With the aid of a lantern they found the burglar lying among the cans. “You've got a hard face,” said Smith. “That's right; kick a fellow when he's down,” returned Sanborn. Sanborn was taken te the receiving hos- pital to have his wounds dressed. His face and neck were badly cut, his right leg was broken end Fis left wrist fractured. The doctors say that the man had a miracu- lous escape from death, and marvel that he was not Killed. ainer, Your choice of any Bicycle made to the valtie Of. 5....<ie00¢05 Made to-measure Suits. guesses to be received after July 6. MIERTZ «2° MERTZ, 6F Street. ; 0%, Say an hour. Then I say, ‘Well, I've got oO To the first person who correctly predicts the Nominees for President and Vice-President of the Republican and Democratic conventions—Guess- ing Free to everybody—no purchase mecessary. If nobedy is successful in guessing correctly we will present to the nearest guesser one of our Guessing to commence Price AN INGENIOUS BORE STARTER. ork Man's Unique © to Get Rid of Caller York Mat! and Express. The other day a Wall street broker show- ed a unique device for ridding himself of bores. “I call it my time-saving clock,” he sald, pointing to a clock with a large dial in a conspicuous position on the broker's roll-top desk. “You will notice that when A New From the you are seated beside me you can't help seeing it. Now, keep your eyes on the hands.” The broker stretched one leg un- der his desk, and at once the hands of the| clock began to turn. They moved from 11:20 o'clock to 1:30 o'clock in about three the seconds. “I called your attention to clock face simply to show you how it done,"" explained the man of stocks, I don't do that when I want to make prac- tical use of it. You see, I am greatly an- noyed by visitors who have no conception of the value of their own time or mine, | and 1 devised this scheme to get rid of | them. I got an elecirical friend to co nect the clock works with a push butt “but | n, which I can touch with my foot. When a man gets to be a bore I pick up a rail- road timetable, which I have handy and | hoid it up im front of him. At the same | time, I touch the button and set the time to get a train pretty soon.” Of course, the first thing my visitor does is to look at the clock, and he is usually surprised at the rapid flight of time. Sometimes he will look at his watch for confirmation, but I always swear my clock is run on electrical nd cannot posibly be wrong. That usually starts him. I had to put the clock up three hours the other day on a long- winded fellow. It was 10 o'clock in the | morning, and I pushed the hands along to | 1 1 o'clock. Would you believe me, ft actuaily | made him hungry, because he thought it was lunch time. —-eeo—_ SCHOOL GIRLS AND CORSETS. The Latter Are Found to Interfere With the Study of Electricity. From the Chicago Dispateh. A new reason why the new woman must discard one of the most characteristically feminine articles of her attire or fall short of filling her role has turned up at the Girls’ High School at Oakland, Cal. She must either abandon corsets or one of the | most promising of the professions, that embracing electricity in all its branche: Five hundred Oakland co-eds are seriously disturbed over the situation, but the issue is severely plain. One or the other f be abandoned, the governors of the school say. An electrical department was added to the school some time ago, and a course in electricity established. The poor professor in charge has had a dreadful time. Dur- ing the lessons the delicate instruments have played him all sorts of tricks, and all his experiments have been of doubtful success. Every once in a while a girl would step up to tell what she had learned about volts ,ohms and emperes, and im- meclately the galvanometers would gyrate | wildly and the needies on the various dials would wabble, and all the laws of Volts and Ohm and Faraday weuld go to sma: and the fin@ing= of Edison and Telsa would become strangely lost. Then the professor knew the student beside him had on a | high-grade corset with ribs of finest stecl, The instruments were not affected by the presence of some students because they wore health waists of some sort and were braced with whalebone or some substitute for steel. Finally Professor Meads was obliged to issue a rule barring corseted girls from the electrical department, and the gov- ernors indorsed the rule. It might seem to be a rule difficult to enforce and delicate to handle. But Professor Meads finds it easy. In entering the ¢lectrical depart- ment the girls have tc pass one of the professor's sensitive galvenometers. The professor stands unobtrusively by it. The impertinent “jigger’ works like a charm, and there is no way in which the girls can beat the game. On the near approach of a girl wearing steel-ribved corsets the | needle gyrates frantically, and the girl is respectfully but firmly reminded of the rule, and expostulations are useless. Just how the incident will end cannot yet be told, but the faculty hope the girls will take the advice of Dr. Knox and Dr. Shuey, both women professors, and aban- don corsets on general principles. -tee Water Pipe Telephone. From the San Francisco Post. “I have the most remarkable telephone in my house,” remarked a resident of the Western addition. “I noticed that at times I could hear very distinctly the conversa- tion in the next house. Suddenly it would be broken off short in the middle of a sen- tence, and I could not hear another word. It would become audible again just as sud- denly. “By a series of experiments I have found out that the sovnd ts conducted by the water running through the pipes. When the water is turned on in my house I can hear all the conversation in any of the rooms next door in which there is running water. When I turn off the water all sourds stop suddenly. “TI told my neighbor of it, and we have put it to practical use. When I wish to speak to him I tap on the window; he turns on the water in his house and listens while I talk to him in an ordinary tone of voice. When I have finished he turns on the water in his house and I turn it on in mine and listen. In that way we can carry on long conversations with as much ease as if he were in the room with me. Stil, our houses are about twenty feet apart. see | hand, though somewhat discolore | feather: | Was unable to cle jin a panic. His Ultimatam, From the Detroit Tribune. Fashionable Patient—“This bill is exorbi- tant. Doctor—“But~—" Fashionable Patient—“Not a word, Either cut it in two or find somet! the matter with me.” Friday, May 8. No = Miakers. A STORY FROM TEXAS. How Smart a Hen Can Be in That inte. From the Philadelphia Times. J. C. Wheaton of Texas has some very fine breeds of chickens which he raises for market. While most of his poultry js all of the darker breeds, he recently imported a fine pair of white Brahmas, which in due course presented him with sixteen chicks. Last week these Ittle fellows were just sod flying size, and were ready prey for hawks, their white feathers gleaming in the sun and making them visible from afar. In fact, in spite of Wheaton's efforts, the hawks made away with six of the young Brahmas. One morning, however, after the remain- ing ten had been duly accounted for the night before, Wheaton was surprised, on going to the poultry yard, to see t one single white chicken. The Brahma cock and hei were there all right enough, but instead of their own snowy lite o: ten tedraggled, cast-off looking | chicks Peeped at their heels, For a jong time Wheaton could not imagine what was the matter, but, by and by, concluded that the ttle Brahmas had gotten in the soot box ty accident, and that they were still on That night, however, he discovered that what he had attributed to error had bee! n done deliberately and with wise intent Before the old Brahma would let her le ones tuck in for the night she made them dip’and sputter in the big chicken trough by the well. This done, she led the way to an old stove pipe under the woodshed, and made every last chick of them pass through the pipe, wiping off the soot as he went. Of course, it stuck to their wet and the little fellows came out perfect black-a-moors. The old hen cir- cumvented the hawks, however. Her Nitle trood runs about as gay as you please now, and not a one has disappeared since she hit upon so ingenious a plan for their pro- tection. —eoo— SHE NEVER SMILED AGAIN. Got Her Jaw Into Position and She Knew Better. From the Chicago Daily In Miss Brown of 84 Di back her head and opened her mouth wide In a hearty laugh. When she tried to y gain her normal cast of counten Ovean, rsey “street ew nee sh adjusting the lady She attended a par y evening, and when she started home several of her friends accompanie1 her. One of the num- bep told a story he said he had read some- where. It was the report of a conversa- tion overheard in a police court, and ran: Ofticer—-What are you charged with, young man? Prisoner- 8-8. Judge (impatiently)—Officer, what ts this man charged with? Officer—OI tink, your honor, he is charged with soda water. Everybody laughed heartily, Prown worked o” Her me Ha turned into a scream. Her mouth was wide open, and it Stayed that way. trymakers w It lo though M Brown was being tickled to death. Oue of the young men attempted to force the re- fractory jaws tosether, but was stoppad by the warning: “Danny, Danny, you'll break her face.” A doctor was cailei when the am ur efforts failed. He diagnosed the ¢ by but Miss telling the young lady the laugh was on her. In the excess of mirth ! ower jaw had become disiccated. This was cusily righted by the doctor without rec to laughing gas or anything other t terous twist of the wrist. Miss Brown went on her way rejoicing, but not lauch- ing. All the way to her home the funay young man who had caused the disturb- ance told other stories he had read. Every- body, in fact, tried to cheer up Miss Brown. But she never smiled, and it was with jaws tightly held tcgether that she sald good night to her friends through her closed teeth. —_—__- ++ Tales of the Times. From the New York ¢ mmercial Ad ertiser, German professors are proverbially ab- fent-minded, but none of them imore so than Prof. Dusel of Bonn. He neticed one day his wife placing a large b bis desk. “What does all that m asked. “Why, this Is the annive your marriage,” replied Mrs. D) that so? Well, let me know wh comes round, and I'll reciprocate.” Sarasate once found his memory ing him at a recital, but he discov reason of the mishap in time to 7 failure. A lady wes fanning herself in the front row of the stalls. The violinist stop- ped playing. “Madame,” he said, “how can I play in two-four time when you are beat- ing six-eight?” The lady shut up her and the recital was concluded successful An old lady who had passed her fo: score years, and who was allowed } children to continue the formality ing house,” to humor her unwill acknewledge the advance of time, remarked one day that she thought she would take a journey of several hundred miles to visit her eldest daug who was herself a giandmother. Her son, who wes well past fifty, asked her if she did not want him to accompany her and look after her on the trip. She repli 0, I don’t want to be bothered with the care of children.” ——— A Surprixing Discovery. From the Cleveland Post. Mrs. Lake Front—“I felt so blue yester- day that I took down the family Bible and thought perhaps I would find something that would distract my mind from that hor- rid divorce suit.” Mrs. Jackson Park—“And did you? Mrs, Lake Front—"Yes, I found tive of my marriage records that I had forgotten all about.” of desert- red the vent a