Evening Star Newspaper, May 2, 1896, Page 14

“Franklin Park leads the public parks of this city in attractiveness,” said the watch- man on duty there, “if we can judge by the number who gather here daily. At one time Lafayette Square drew the greatest crowds, but for the past three or four years the number of frequenters of Frank- lin Park has steadily been on the increase. There are on2 hundred and twenty park seats in Lafayette Square, and one hun- dred and twenty-five in Franklin Square. From 10 to 11 in the morning and from 3 to 4 im the afternoon, Lafay- ette Square contains the largest num- ber of people. During the other hours of the day Franklin Square is nearly always fell. Lafayette Squate has street car lines on the north and south sides of it, and a herdic line on the east. This continus! hubbub interferes seriously with those who go to the p: to spend a leisure hour i reading newspapers or books. On the o! ard, Franklin Square has a car line on one side of it—lith street. This makes it more quiet and retired. It makes it especially advantageous for nurses and ebilds ave noticed also that Franklis Square esort of the r ts, while quare is mostly occupied dur- = the day by non-residents or the visiting asses, it being particularly convenient and attractive for tourists.” **2 t¢ % * of the cabbage on s; in this city " observed @ leading commission deal- is Imported, the cabbage grown ‘n jon of the country not keeping hout the winter. Last fall and well throv summer cabbage sold here as low as forty cen per hundred head, good cabbage, too; at retail as low as three heads for five cents. This cabbage, however, deteriorates as the spring advances, and evenold stor- age, which is depended upon, does not save he imported cabbage comes from G weden and Norway. It is wonder- » and is packed so closely that it keeps as well as a cocoanut. Of course, it is mueh more expensive than the home but ihere is none other to be had at The cab p in this coun- ever known, t ised the tumble in prices. Tha uit is that it did rot pay, and there will e less cabbage grown this year, and, as a ence, higher will prevail. ‘d them but year, id prices for good ones idom been as low as they are now.” kee Kx adquarters of the army,” said an army officer, “are where Gen. Miles is lo- | or, at least, where he keeps his | headquarters flag. Should he take his flag up in a balloon, the headquarters would be “The h ep in the He seldom takes his flag | with him when he leaves the city, but | should he do so, headquarters would be ex- tere the flag is, whether he was in or at @ hotel.’ The law has never ed an official headquarters. When herman moved his residence from ears ago, to St. Louis, the went with him, and the found it was no longer iquarters. Neither was there any way | which the department could find where | iquarters were except by telegraphing for the whereabouts of Gen. Sherman and is flag.” this city, headquarters f War Departmen eK KK “I have a strange case now In charge,” rked a well-known physician. “The t is a lady who lives in the fashio able part of the city and in rather a fine | house. Her malady is cleanliness, and her efforts to keep the things about the house lean are wearing her out. She labors under the idea that everything about her and her y and dirty, so she turns the er entire house upside down day. Not satisfied with the reports of her servants that the work is all done, she takes up every rug, sheet, pillow case nket, curtain or any other article she t from its place and shakes he window. ood as the ‘sh down from ordinary w Keleton. She works stea morning until about 6 every to go all oyer the same self- the next morning. Still she rything is dreadfully dirty all eK KK & “I cannot understand why our folks, remarked Capt. Fred Nally, “should persist | in giving running race horse meetings here to the exclusion of first-class trotting meet- ings, for I believe that first-class trotting horses would draw better than the runners | or jumpers. We had the opportunity of | trying both at Ivy City during the fair | there some years ago. The runners were sive, and on the last days never | 6,000 people to the course, whil ind Tom, St. Julien and Lucy , there were by exact count | on the grounds. These stars | > trotting turf of the day by no means | as much as an attraction as the run- | and on the several occasions the big | ters were pitted against the runners | they always drew doubly as large.” t * KK K « “We can always tell when It 1s 4 o'clock in the afternoon,” remarked the engineer of the Normandie, “and I'll give you the pointer. It is dollars to cents that at ex- actly 4 o'clock you will see Chief Parris of the fire rtment drive by on his way down 15th street. He ts remarkably regu- lar in his habits, end has not varied four past twenty-seven days. We t on him just to see if he but find that he dees not. Try ft + and see for yourself if I am not ee KR KK sparrows have more nests in the tue this year than usual,” ob- ‘apt. Craighill. “On my way to the nt a few mornings since I five distinct nests. Of course there nest Ir the hair of the tail of the and another in the mane, as there The additional one was ral's kat. Besides these, a cou- S were bard at work building 2 nostrils of the horse. I no- at the sparrows have ts in rups of the McPhe Statue of Gen. Scott fs u nests, that of Gen. Washington >, and ih £ Gen. Green on Capitol c the most interesting one hat built in the swerd handle.” eee ek rustic lawn chairs that are being the city now," said one of the interested In making and selling sh willow, which in the reclaimed the Virginia side of It is a new growth for this sec- e go it was not known sold about and shipped ozens of s hn Washing- ngtime the willow bends shape desired. A great deal nt away for similar work ee KKK nator Teller was never a hotel keeper, but he is the owner of the first and best hotel ever built in Central City, Col., the where he formerly resided,” sald a Colorado visitor. “Twenty years ago Cen- tral City wanted a hotel, and wanted it badly. It offered $20,000 tonus and twenty years’ freedom from taxation to any one who would build a hotel. Senator Teller, then 2 mining lawyer there, got the bonus up a $75,000 hotel. ever since.” It has paid him steadily ke KKK “The United States government pays me to be courteous and pleasant to every- body,” sald a doorkeeper of the House, “but sometimes I want to fight. Every few days some fellow comes, here and sends in his card for a member. We go in and look for him, but don’t find him. We report the fact to the caller. ‘Oh, come off,’ he says; ‘didn’t I just see him from the gallery about ten minutes ago? He is sitting right in there reading a paper." We try to convince the man that in the space of ten minutes a member might have. got- ten a half a mile away, but the fellow will insist that we didn’t half try to find his friend. Then’s when I want to take him between the eyes. Fools are always plenti- ful around these doors, but the specimen I have spoken of fs the most annoying.” exe KK A party of joke-telling members had gathered in the cloak room of the House. They began talking about how much money some Congressmen are said to save out of thelr salaries. years ago,” said one of them, “when the alliance craze was sweeping over the country, a western state sent an alliance man here. 1 know positively that he saved every cent of his salary, and lived off his mileage and stationery account, His mile- age amounted to about $600, and he went to his home and came here on a free pass. One day he went in search of a room with a friend. They found a room, but the proprietress wanted $6 a month for it. “Great Scott!’ said the statesman, ‘36 a month for a room. I can rent a whole house in my state for that.’ His friend ex- plained that $6 was cheap, and that he had better take the room. He finally agreed and started off. The landlady seemed to be uneasy, and, when asked what was the matter, explained that she wanted her rent in advance. z ART AND ARTIST S| ss repute, but of great merit nevertheless. | AL KAL! IKE AND HIS TOWN ‘The copy which Mrs. Marietta M. Andrews has made of the portrait of Councillor Car- ter,of Virginia, is new on exhibition at Heit- muller’s gallery. The original belongs to Mrs.Hearst, and has been generally thought to be a Reynolds, though it has recently been pronounced by English experts to be the work of John Singleton Copley. The painting has been in the possession of the Carter family for over a hundred years, and Mrs. Andrews has made this copy for her aunt, Mrs.Carter of Oaklands,Va., from whom Mrs. Hearst purchased the picture. It represents Councillor Carter as a young man, dressed in a masquerade costume of the time of Charles II of England. Hold- ing in his hand the mask which he has removed, he stands rear a window, through which is seen just such a bit of landscape as Joshua Reynolds was wont to in- troduce into his portraits. There is an in- trieate effect of light and shade in the sheen of the silk coat, but though Mrs. Andrews has represented all such parts of the picture faithfully, she has kept a firm hold of the large qualities of the painting. and has successfully avoided the danger of too close an tmitation of petty details, through which the spirit of the original is sometimes lost. d * x * . There are also on exhibition at Heit- muller’s a number of water colors by Walter Paris. Several of them are of the old homes in and about Washington, Mt. Vernon, Tudor Place and the Van Ness mansion, one of the views of the latter place having a very remarkable effect of light in it, that of the light from the noon day sun falling squarely upon the north side of the house. Among the water colors of purely landscape scenes the one taken in the Shenandoah valley !s good, but his best work is in those views which are partly architectural. A small view of New York avenue from Madison place, looking directly across one of the most crowded street corners in the city, is one of the most realistic pictures that he has done. * * The scholarship which the New York Art Stndents’ League has for several years offered to the League in this city has been won this year by John C. Clay. Eight of the students submitted drawings, and, as those competing were more evenly matched this year than formerly, the contest promised to be a close one, and the news from New York was awaited with the keen- est Interest by all the pup!ls of the school. ““Gewhilikens,” the statesman again The life drawni; = pe Z igs which Mr. Clay sub: Congrenuan seam ea eance and mere | aitted wore very, stcong: and’ executed with “Oh, pay her,’ said the friend; ‘don’t you know, they never trust a Congressman this town for room rent or a board bili. The party of jokers laughed, but one of them saidJit was not necessary to go back six years for an Instance of that kind. “You can find a few here now,” said one. ** * *k * They were telling mosquito stories. They had prevaricated right alung, to the amuse- ment of the listeners, and each was about Each felt that tt was to run out of yarns. time to get in his best story. “Why, down in Georgia, man, the hallwa driven his bill through the ceiling into my room. I jumped up, seized a monkey wrench and bradded the bill on the inside. Then I walked through a side door, seized a shotgun, loaded with buckshot, fired the Whole load into that mosquito and went to bed again. Later on I heard another noise. Going out to investigate I ascertained that the mosquito had broken his bill off and had gone out of the house minus a part of his probing apparatus. Three days later I aw that same mosquito eating a chicken | which it had caught.” 1 believe you belong to the Baptist Church,” said the other man, “and, a fact. Down wing and a grindstone under the other. Occasionally he would whet his bill on the grindstone and take a bite off the child. To show you that this story is true I will cross my heart. The third liar had prepared to say some- | thing, but he saw the threatening looks on the faces of the crowd and desisted. xe KK OK Gen. James H. Walker, who commanded the Stonewall Jackson brigade after the death of Gen. Jackson, and who is now a member of the House from Virginia, talking to a Star reporter of incidents of the war, said: “One of the bravest men in the war was Corp. Cheshire of the thir- teenth Virginia infanjry. He was a mere boy when made one of the color cotporals for meritorious conduct, but frequently spoke of his ambition to be promoted to color sergeant of the regiment. As the regi- ment was going into action on the 27th of June, 1862, the color bearer was shot down. Corp. Cheshire, throwing away his musket, grasped the falling colors and refused to yield them to any one, saying the colonel had promised them to him in the event of a vacancy. In the midst of the hettest fire of the most bitterly’ contested field of the war, when men on both side#were taking | shelter behind trees or lying flat on the ground, the colonel passed along the line | and found the brave color bearer standing | erect a little in front of the line In the open space,holding the colors aloft, a conspicuous mark for the enemy's bullets. ‘The colonel touched the boy and pointed to a tree near by, which would have sheltered him. The officer passed on, but in a few minutes re- turned, to find the young corporal dead, shot through the heart. He had fallen forward on the colors he so prized and loved, and the bunting was dripping and h the blood of the young hero sdained to take shelter from the storm of shot and shell, even when directed to do so by his colowel. His body was lifted from the colors, which were given to another, and the color bearer was buried on the field, in an unknown grave. The flag he carried was riddled with bullets and three bullets had gone through the flagstaff. The cool courage and self-posses- sion exhibited by Corp. Cheshire was never excelled.” ee Evolution. From Harper's Bazar. Mr. Simia—‘‘Now, I believe in evolution, Miss Rhus. It Is quite clearly established that man is descended from the monkey. Miss Rhus—‘Oh, yes. I am quite ready to agree with you on that point, Mr. Simia, but what really puzzles me is where wo- man came from.” see. An Advantage. From Chips. Criticus—“I don’t believe there’s much difference between genius and insanity.” ruggling Author—“Oh, yes, there {s; the is at least sure of his board and lun clothes. “Georgie, dear, you go in and ask papa’s consent and—George—if anything should happen, I'll go to see you every day till you're well again.”—Life. * said the Georgia “I was spending the night with a friend near a big swamp. After I crawled in bed I heard a crashing noise near my head, and turned around to find that a mosquito had been perambulating through » had gotten mad and had of course, you had to tell the whole truth about that story, but I'll tell you what is in the Florida everglades there is a mosquito which beats yours. 1 was fishing on a creek one day, when I | heard an awful buzzing noise overhead. Looking up i saw a mosquito flying along with a half-grown colored child under one a certain boldness and freedom, as well as anatomical accuracy. He will certainly be able to go next fall and avail himself of the superior advantages for study which are offered him In .the metropolis, and will without doubt be a credit to the Art League here. Indeed, it 1s not too much to expect that he will before long become a credit to the great school there. Miss Beulah Reeves was awarded the second place, and her work is so well known at the League for its accuracy of construction and draw- ing that her chances for the’ scholarship were thought to be very strong. The prize drawings and those receiving the-honorable mention will undoubtedly be the center of attraction at the annual celebration, which commences on next Thursday evening. Sluice his exhibition a short time ago, Mr. J. H. Moser has installed himself in a studio in the Corcoran building, and has been ‘finishing up some orders. He has in his studio a very large oil painting of an extended and faithful view of Winnipesau- kee lake. The spot from which the pic- ture was taken commands a wide sweep of horizon, and the effect of the distance in the mountains stretching away beyond the lake is admirably rendered. Mr. Moser left the city several days ago for a little trip to New York city and to his home in Cornwall, Conn., but will return after a very brief stay to his temporary studio here, where he expects to remain for some weeks. * In the space left “empty by the removal of the pictures which Hubert Vos has ex- hibited at the Corcoran Art Gallery for scme time pest three-pictures loaned by Mr. Scott Burkam have recently been hung. One of them is a small canvas by Henner, a very simply treated study of a girl’s head. It is hard to ascribe the peculiar charm that the painting possesses to any particular quality in it, but it seems to He mainly in the subtle expression. of the fece. There is an intensity in the serious, straightforward gaze of the eyes that gives a distinctive character to the face. A warmth of color {s shown in the auburn halr and in the background and drapery, making the coloring of the face seem rather cold and grayish. The other two canvases are by J. G. Jacquet, the most impcrtant one showing a girl with her head slightly turned, glancing over her shoulder. The poise of the head Is grace- ful, and the modeling of the face and neck Gelicately done. The color, though not so strong, is harmonious and pleasing. * * A large painting by Charles Rochegrosse, entitled “La Jacquerie,” which has been on exhibition in the reception parlors of the Arlington Hotel during the week has been an object of interest to many. It is one of those historical paintinge .which have made the artist famous, and on ac- count of its great size must have required a great deal of time for its completion. The picture represents the last scene in the pillage of a Burgundian castle at a time shortly preceding the French revolu- tion, when the yoke of the feudal system had grown too heavy to be borne any longer by the half-starved peasantry, and they had at length cast it off and were in open revolt against their masters. The women and children of the nobleman’s family have retreated to their last place of refuge and cower In fear in the farthest corner, while through the shattered case- ments at the other side of the room the ragged canaille are pouring. These men, forks, and other implemerts once turned to uses of peace, and bearing among their many gory trophies the head of the lord of the castle, are suddenly checked by the majestic figure standing in the middle of the room. An abbess stands fearlessly be- tween the helpless women and the fren- zied rabble, and the peasants, bearing still a deep respect for the church, are for the time’ being awed and subdued by the sigot. In addition to this painting Messrs. Thompson and Waring have exhibited quite a number of pictures, mostly from the col- lection of Sir William Scott. The small canvas by Alma-Tadema, entitled “The Cornolsseurs,” is interesting from the wide difference between it and the historical genre subjects usually chosen by that ar- tist. Two paintings by Leon Perrault are shown, and examples of the work of Jules Breton and Lefebvre are also included in the collection A pleture by Adolph Schreyer of several Arabs riding through @ mountain pass Is exhibited, and plc- tures by Diaz, Courbet, Charles Jacques, Anton Mauve, Edouard Frere, Zamacois, Van Marcke, Delort and many others are hown. The picture exhibited last week, ‘The Canterbury Pilgrims,” by George H. Boughton, who it will be remembered has recently been elected a member of the Royal Academy, has been sold for the sum of $20,000 to Mr. Angus Smith of Mil. waukee, ‘who will present it to the Layton Art Gallery of that city. The painting is considered’ Mr. Boughton’s masterpiece, and is full of exquisite detail and delicate coloring. : Paes The portrait of Gen. Williams which the Baroness A. Nesselrode Hugenpoet painted a short time ago ts now on exhibition at Veerhoft's. There is some admirable work in it, and it 1s pronounced a fine likeness by all the members of Gen. Williams’ family. The exhibition of drawings of various sub. Jects which tho artist made in Munich has been postponed until fall. In addition to her other artistic work she possesses con- siderable skill in burnt wood decoration and has executed a number of charm: things on wood. a * The exhibition of Mexican Pictures by Felix Bernardell!, which closed at Fischer's on Thursday, was quite interesting. There is now on exhibition an attractive coliec- tion of Dutch water colors, containing ex- amples by such artists as Mauve, Joscf Isracis, Neuhuys, Mesdeg, and others of with bloodstained scythes, sledges, pitch- | * * Miss Lilly Ay, Chester spends her time chiefly in the Hye of portraiture, and ts now busy on a portrait of her mother,which Promises to be @ good likeness. ae oa aed Succeeding Miss Stanley's strong exhibi- tion of off paintings at Veerhoff’s, a collec- tion of water cblors is now hung. A large Proportion of them are by Italian artists, and a bright pigee of color is the picture by G. Fortunagir of a gaily dressed girl seated on a store wall. A large picture by Roda shows‘several ladies feeding some swans which arg gliding gracefully about on the surfacefot a pond. Oriental color- ing abounds, ang there area number of such scenes as that by Ernst of the in- terior of a mosque, and the scene in Cairo by De Francesahis The latter is a very in- teresting picture;iwith a small caravan of heavily laden camels in the foreground and @ white minaret seen In the distance. There is a quaiptness in the fishermen's shrine perched far out upon the water, in the picture by Rafael Perez, which appeals to one strongly. Scattered among these southern scenes one finds here and there pictures of quiet English country by such artists’ as Albert Bowers. * * Miss Elizabeth W” Bell has an admirable portrait in pastel on exhibition at Veer- hoff’s. It is a profile view of a young lady with @ serious, dignified face, and in the modeling Miss Bell has given a sweetness to the expression that makes the face a very attractive one. The combination of colors is also happy, and the red dress well handled. —_=——_ . Greek System of Voting. From the London News, r I remember M. Tricoupis describing to me with much spirit and lucidity the precise method of Greek yoting. Tifere is an urn for each candidate, and every voter must “yes” or “no” for each candidate. This breeds endless confusion, as M. Tri- coupis peinted out to me, for though voters set out with explicit party tickets and the best intentions, they cun rarely be induced to vote “yes” for their own partisans only. When they have come to the urn of a man for whom they have a sneaking liking they forget that a vote for him will neutralize the votes given for their own partisans, and they cannot always bring themseltes to blackball. “The beauty of the system,” M. Tricoupis remarked with a smile, “is that it is found- ed on no principle whatever. It was part of the constitution of the Ionian Isles—the only part we retained at the time of thelr unfon with Greece.” how did it come to exist in the Ionian Isles?” I asked. “They got it from the English, who probably de- rived it from their clubs.” ——— +00 —___ Drawback of Shortsightedness. From St. Pan's. 2. “Got "im! it'll make!” What a fine 8. “Very cold; Bithink I have rheumatism in my tall.” 9:1 50 4. “Wel these people do take lberties with one!” . | | | i | broke up mor or “That,” observed Alkall Ike, with a retro- spective gleam in his eagle eye, “sorter re- minds me of Arkansaw Cronk’s soup story, which causeg so much trouble yere in Haw- ville, some years ago.” The purport of the tourist’s remark which drew forth the foregoing assertion from the Alkaline citizen is now forgotten by the chronicler, but the loss to a waiting world is probably not a vital one, for it has never yet required anything of nature to cause a reminiscent streain to gush forth from the veracious Isaac. “Devver tell you about it, Mr. Eastman? Say I didn’t? Much obliged! Wal, it was like this: Feller by the name of Arkansaw Cronk turns up yere with the story—plain, common yarn it looked like, an’ yet it iurn- ed out to be the worst hoodoo that is re- corded in Hawville annals. One time a lady elocutionist, with long, snaky fingers an’ a voice with ice down its back, makes my hair rise like the tines of a pitchfork, recitin’ a piece about a gent who was in the Ancient Mariner business, who gits cay an’ shoots up a varmint called an alby- troos an’ tharby gits hoodooed to a tare- you-well. The effect of the soup story was suthin’ like the result of killin’ that thar albytross, only a heap more so. Tell you how it was: “That was about four years ago, in the good old times when life in Hawy'lle was more free an’ a hep less constricted than at Tresent. It was jest after the days when the plague of Smiths raged yere, an’ Cuck Uckleston first poked up his head in ville history, an’— Har? Yes; that’s so. st time I heard it I thinks to myself that Cuck Uckleston is p'intedly the quaintest name ever born in captivity, an’ I'm struck with the thought that ary uneducated old turkey gobbler could give me cards an’ spades an’ then beat me to death pronouncin’ “It wasn't a particularly pretty name, anyway you looked at it, but it served its in- tended purpose first rate. You see, when its owner first lit yere his name was Smith. More than one gent has shed off one name when he tore out from the states an’ had an- other all growed fast to him by the time he got yere, but this feller brought the same name yere with him that he wore in the states—I reckon he hadn't done anything thar that he was ashamed of. “Anyhow, his name was still Smith, an’ when he got yere an’ looked around he found he had no cause for feelin’ lonesome. Thar was a Smith hangin’ on every limb, so to speak; it "peared like all the gents that had left their names behind ‘em in the staces when they tore out had picked up an’ put on the name of Smith on their way out yere, as a sort of disguise. “Thar was John Smiths an’ Bill Smiths an’ Limpmy Smiths an’ Big Smiths an’ Stinkin’ Smiths, ring tailed, speckled an’ streaked Smiths—Smiths in the mornin’, Smiths at noonday, Smiths in the middle of the night, an’ Smiths world without end: Smiths, Smiths everywhur, an’ not a drop to drink. ‘If a gun was casually turned loose in a crowd from two to forty-seven Smiths would be picked up with holes in’em. You couldn’t shoot Lp the town an’ hit much of anybody but Smiths. If trouble of any kind happened thar was alwers a Smith or se eral of ‘em in the middle of it. If devil- ment was done some Smith or other was pretty certain to be guilty. Nobody asked Was it Smith? but simply inquired ‘Which Smith? “This yer complication of Smiths caused the reform committee a heap of trouble for a spell; they were everlastin'ly gittin’ their claws on the wrong Smith an’ stringin’ him up, only to find out when it was too late that it wasn't that speshul Smith that Was wanted, but some other Smith. An’ then they would have to shake up an’ sift out the whole blamed Smith tribe to find the one they needed in their business. “It finally got to be more than it was worth to search out the guilty Smith, an’ so the reformers held a pow wow an’ the subcommittee on horse sense settled it that tharafter no more time would be Wasted in tryin’ to locate any particular Smith, but when it was decided that some Smith was guilty they'd simply make a srab an ‘operate on the first Smith that happened to come handy. Life was to: short an’ full of other business to be was in {dentifyin’ Smith—a Smith was a Smith an’ that was all you could make of him, so said the subcommittee on horse sense. An’ it shore went; that Is the rea- son why thar hain’t never been more than a fair proportion of Smiths yere since. Some of ‘em reformed, some tore out across the face of nature, an’ others went straight up with the assistance of a rope. “Meanwhile, after this yere Smith that I'm talking about had narrowly escaped being lynched a time or two for the Smith that looked like him, an’ had been tar an’ feathered once by mistake for a presidin’ elder of the same name, he decided that it would be right smart in him to change his brand. Accordin’, after havin’ given the atter due consideration, he figgered out adopted the name of Cuck Uckleston, " after that he had no more trouble with mistakes of identity. “He—but, ho! Whur was I at? The sou story? Oh, yes; wal, it was this-a-way: That thar man, Arkensaw Cronk, turns up yere, as I have said, with this little story. He unpacks it an’ tells it for the first time one evenin’ in the Blue Ruin refreshment parlors, an’ nobody goes wild over it, one way or the other. It’s good enough, but not too good. That night the Blue Ruin burns down. “Next day he tells it some more, an’ still nobody notices anything speshul about it. Thar is a killin’ in the public square that day. He purseeds thus for some weeks, tellin’ his story impartially before anybody awakens to an understandin’ of the power an’ possibilities of the yarn. “One day he is ridin’ to a funeral as one of the pall bearers of a gent whose death it afterwards turns out he is responsibie for, an’ he entertains his feller pall bearers with the soup story. Before he has hard- ly got through, the hosses—an’ they had alwers been as sober an’ conservative as a span of circuit judges—hopped up an’ ran away, startin’ three or four other teams an raisin’ sech a hooraw as I never had | the pleasure of witnessin’ before nor since | at a funeral in all of woe's app'inted ways. Every last bugger of the pall bearers was less but Cronk, who wasn’t even scraped. Wagons was smash- ed, hosses.bunged up, people crippled, the coffin flung out gn’ busted like a ripe watermellon, a valuable hog an’ two or three tourists run over an’ ruined, an’ so ; forth, “A day or two later Mr. Cronk got off his | scup story to a nice ycung man, an’ that very night the nice young man’s promised wife eloped a great plenty with a corn doc- tor. He told it to the Rev. Jack Cronks | an’ the same day the parson’s wife pre- sented him with a few twins—presented the parson with twins, I mean. Hie started to favor the able editor of the Clarion with the story an’ was interrupted by the entrance of un trate subscriber, who whaled the editor like a pup an’ made him eat part of the last issue of his valuable paper in which the subscriber estimated that he had been stigmatized. “Mr. Cronk whirled in an’ told his story to Lavender Pritchett, an’ before sunset Lavender’s wife, whom he had sorter slid away from back in Indiana without leavin’ any trail behind, showed up wearin’ a hump-backed Roman nose, an’ had poor Lavender hard to catch. He next told it to Col. Handy Polk, an’ the colonel, who was a candidate for office, ran far ahead of his ticket at election time, which was two days later, an’ yet was unanimously defeated; the opposin’ candidate usin’ the colonel’s ticket for waddin’ in the shot- gun which he fired at the colonel, an’ thus completin’ the paradox. “While servin’ as a member of the grand jury, Mr, Crork told the story to his felier conspirators, an’ directly a fight broke forth in the jury room that has remained a classic even to this day; everybody but Cronk looked as if he had met at least three full-grown bears. “If any gent took casual shot at a hop- legged rian the hopper would be certain to change from his long leg to his short one jest as the shooter pulled the trigger, an’ the bullet would fly over his head an’ sog into the skull of some innycent feller cuss on the other side of the street who had been listenin’ to the soup story. “Things in the settlement got in hidjus shape. Thar were issums an’ sizzums in | the chureh, scandals in the most exclusive social circles, fights at festivals, an’ a row in the school board. More than forty people broke out with the Injun itch at the same time. Fits were too common to notice. The parson took to drink. Several of the gamblers reformed complete an’ went to loafin’. Everything was demor- alized. “A gang of enterprisin’ cusses from Rock- et City an’ Rantedodlar formed a syndicate an’ came over one night an’ stole the coun- ty seat right out of the middle of Haw- ville. They hitched a string of horses to the court house’an’ dragged it out of its bed an’ four miles from. the settlement without any of us bein’ aware of it. Then each party got to tryin’ to hog the other an’ haul it off to their own town. They fell to fightin’ an’ pullin’ the seat of gov- ernment this way an’ that till the shootin’ skeered the hosses, an’ they ran away an’ flung the court house wrong side up in a Geep gully, bustin’ it wide open an’ scatter- in’ the records an’ county bonds so far an’ wide on the wings of the wind, so to Speak, that it was mighty near three weeks before the last of the bonds that ever got back were found, picked off from the gum weeds an’ brought home. “Things steadily grew worse an’ worse. A cyclone came whirlin’ along an’ blew the big end of the settlement gallywindin’ out of existence. The people who were blowed out of house an’ home flung their hands into the discard an’ prepared’ to quit the game dead cold an’ go back to their wives’ fclks, an’ the whole blamed municipal fabric, as they ssy in nove was ready to fall to pieces. I don’t reckon, if a change hadn’t come soon, that in six weeks’ time thar would have been a man, Woman or child left on the map of Haw- ville to listen to the coyotes howlin’ ‘the ment’s funeral hymn. ‘But about this time old Grizzly Johnson, who, as I have sald before, was a sage from the wilds of way back yonder, comes forth with a theory he had been perfectin’ while layin’ low. He p’ints out to us that Arkansaw Cronk’s jestly celebrated soup story is responsible for all the desolation that has come to Hawville. “He recalls to us that the Blue Ruin burns down the same night that Cronk tells Lis story thar, an’ from that goes on through the whole list, an’ when he con- cludes we all sees plenty clear that the Soup story is the Jonah which has been makin’ ali the trouble. “Accordin’, we sails out an’ pounces on Brothcr Cronk an’ commands him to for- ever after keep his infernal soup s' in his system, under pain of bein’ staked out by the four corners an’ a cheerful fire kindled on the pit of his abdoughmen. He made out like he was surprised an’ inny- cent of evil intent, an’ wanted to argy about it. But we didn't feci in the mood for arbitration, an’ so he was presented with cur ultimatum in a few well-chosen words—no soup story or no Arkansaw Cronk, whichever he preferred. “He preferred Cronk, an’ after that he told his soup story no more. Hawville picked right up an’ flourished an’ prospered from that moment, but poor Cronk began to decline in the same proportion. It look- ed like the soup story was hound an’ de- termined to get in its deadiy work on somebody, an’ on Cronk himself if he wouldn't turn it locse on the public. “After he quit tellin’ it he began to mope an’ then to droop an’ pine, an’ later to wizzle sadly away; an’ at Inst poor Cronk, reduced to skin, bones an’ fiddle strings, an’ died, the mizzable victim of his own soup story. “Wal, I must be goin’. The soup story, itself? No, I hain’t got nuthin’ ageinst you, Mr, Eastman, an’ accordin’ couldn't ihirk of tellin’ it to you. Wal, so long; see you liter!” And, thus concluding, the ingenious Isaac sauntered away, whistling “The Man Who Went to Bed With His Boots On.” ——— NOT RESPONSIBLE. An Editor Explains Why a Certain Disclaimer Appeared in Hin Paper. A Star reporter was talking with a south- ern editor visiting in Washington and dur- ing the conversation the editor nanded the reporter a copy of his paper to look at and compare wiih the metropolitan dailies. It was an eight-column country weekly and had no distinguishing mark: staph at the head of the editorial columns, which read: “The editor under no circum- stances shall be held personally responsible for communications appearing in this pa- per.’ “That suggests a reason why it should be there,” said the reporter. “I don’t know,” replied the editor, “that it does any good, but I have had it there for ten years and it shal! remain as long as i am the editor.” “And the reason?” ood enough, I think, in the beginning. A dozen years ago I took the paper, and I used to print a lot of communicatio: ns from all sorts of people on all sorts of subjects, and while I didn’t exactly assume personal responsibility for them, I used to stand be- tween the writers and the subjects as far as possible. One week during the winter something got in about one George G. Blank, a man I never heard of, and the article itself was, I thought, in the nature of a compliment. Two days after it ap- Feared I was in my office alone, when a little, short, dried-up kind of a chap came in, and, slipping the bolt of the door, walk- ed up to my desk and planted himself about six feet from me. I looked up and smiled, as I usually did on visitors, and asked him what I could do for him.” “*My name,‘ he said, without returning my salutation, ‘is George G. Blank, the same mentioned f:. ~our paper of last issue, and I have come in to pay you for it.’ ““There's no pay, I assure you, Mn Blank,’ I replied. ‘On the contrary, I was glad to print it.’ “*You are personally responsible for it, I suppose?’ he went on. “ “Certainly. Why not? ‘That's why 1 want to pay for it,’ he sald, angrily, and before I could mai a move he had me co’ a with a huge re- volver. ‘Don't get up,’ he went on, as I made a movement. "m going to kill and can do It just as well where you sit. “I could see now by his wavering eyes that the man was crazy, and I was so un- rerved that for a moment I couldn't move hand or foot, just as you feel in a bad dream. ‘You wouldn't shoot @ man unarmed and helpless, would you?’ I asked, gazing straight into his eyes, as they do with luna- tics, for I thought I might beat him that Save one para- t is quite immaterial to me,’ he laugh- ed, and pulled the trigger. “But the revolver suapped, and as it did so he laughed again. “ “Don't feel disappointed,’ he said, pleas- antly; ‘there are four more cartridges left and they won't all miss fire.’ “As he tinkered a moment with the pistol, keeping it trained on me, a form that one of the boys had set by the stove to thaw out yielded to the heat, and the type in it went to the floor with a crash. It came so suddenly that my visitor looked around quickly to see what it was, and that instant I made a jump for him and caught his pistol arm. Physically, he was no match for me, and in a minute I had the revolver cut of the way and had him pinned to the floor, where I choked him into insensibility. Then I unlocked the door and called for help, and my visitor was handed over to the town marshal and locked up. Later I learned that some years before Mr. Blank had run for office and had been crazed by the newspaper @ht made against him, and he had sworn to kill the next man who put his name in the paper. That happened to be me, and he evidently intended to keep his word, and would have kept it if the gun hadn't snapped. The only real satisfaction I got out of it,” laughed the editor, in con- clusion, “was to print the notice you have called my attention to and to lick the blemed fool that sent in the communication as a nice little joke on the editor.” One Continuous Round of Lei From Brockiyn Lite. Householder—“See here. I've never had a chence of talking to anybody through that telephone since you put it in. I am always told they are bi Collector—“Why don’t you call up one of the girls at central. They’re never busy.” —S Only Another Way of Putting it.” “Same Idea, From Punch. = Swell—“How are you today, old boy?" Second swell—“Only middling. Got a jolly good cold!” First swell—“That all? Doosed lucky, old — you haven't got a wretched bad IN HOTEL CORRIDORS W. C. Patterson, president of the Los An. geles chamber of commerce, who ts at the Shoreham, said: “This is the season for the fiower festival in California. Writers frequently describe in long articles similar but very much inferior ceremonies in Eu- rope, but this beautifu¥ American season is seldom referred to, except in the Pacific coast papers. To one who has never wit- messed the flower festival itis indescrinble. The floats and pageants of Mardi Gras, in New Orleans or the veiled prophets in’ St. Louis do not compare with those of the Santa Barbara and Los Angeles flower fes- tivals. In addition to the parades, consist- ing of floats built of flowers, arranged in every form the imagination can conceive or ingenuity contrive, there are battles of flowers, and the entire week is given up to feasting and sports. I will miss seeing it this year, a fact that I regret very much.” “I have a customer who makes presi- dential years his best ones for trade,” said E. A. Lewis at the Rixgs. “It is a well- known fact that merchants usually account presidential years as dull, but my customer has found a way to change that. He never takes any part in politics, but exhibits a warm sympathy for those who do, and en- courages them. Every man who is solvent, he talks hopefully to, and makes him feel that he is going io either be elected or ap- pointed to some office. The store is, there- fore, headquarters for all politicians of every degree, and if they are solvent credit is freely extended. The result is that by the time the year is gone the merchant has accounts against each of the aspirants, During the next year these are paid, and the profits of presidential years are greater than those of any others. Of eourse, all merchants couid not do this, but the cus- tomer of whom I speak has worked it suc- cessfully for the past.forty years.” j “I saw in ‘The Star a good dog story the cther day,” said R. A. Markham of Baiti- more at the Normandie. “it reminded me of a story of a dog belenging to my father, although the incidents are wholly similar. When I was a boy I cut my w the wound leaving an ugly scar. At time of the accident I was accompanied b 4 dog, at that time just grown beyond the age of puppyhood. A year later I left home and did not return fer fifteen years. After greeting the members of the family, 1 ask- ed about my old playmate, the dog, and was told that the animal ‘still Mved, ai- though very feeble. I hunted for him, and found him laying on some straw in the barn. I had grown beyond his recollection, and my beard served still turther to make me a stranger to him. The old dog growled as | approched him. I heid out my hand to coax him, but he refused to aliow me to dis- t touch him, until suddenly his rested Upon the scar. He loo! 4 moment, then whined, licked the scar, and I ever saw such evidence of joy upon the part of any living being. He remembered te sear per- fectly and knew me entirely by it, even when by reason of old age he could scarcely Bee.” “I had a peculiar order to transmit to my house,” said A. L. Lyons of New York, a traveling sal , handling photographic “I was in a small Allinois town, where there is but one dealer in my line of goods, and as soon as 1 hand- ed him my card he said: “Yee, I have been Walting for you.” This seemed very favor- able for my obtaining an order, and I be- gan to open my sample ca: He looked at everything without a word. I showed him every sample I had and 4 him if he saw anything he wanted. “No,” he said, ‘I want some of them new kolaks, cathode ray kind. I've some young fellers here that wants them right away. You , they” got an hey can stograph What thelr girls hinking out them. I want the sine, so they can carry them in their pockets.’ “I tried to explain to him what the ca- thode rays really were, but he would not believe me, and I had to promise to write the house about them, which I did, but they have not sent me samples of that kind of kodaks yet.” ae CRAZY ON THE CAB. An Experience Which Shows What Ih May Be to Be a Fireman, “Speaking of experiences,” remarked an old enginceer to a Star reporter, “have I your permission to narrate a Little one that happened to me during my first year cn an engine “Not only my permission,” responded the generous reporter, “but my imperative command and an invitation to take some- thing while you about it.” The preliminaries being satisfactorily ar- ranged the engineeer proceeded with his story. “It was twenty-five years ago,” he sald, “and I was a fireman on a road in New York state. The eer I fired for was, or rather had been, one of the best on the road, but had been turned over and steamed under a locomotive boller in a wreck and after that he was ven a less important train. Not so much because he was y the less good as engineer, but beca jails have an idea that it take: @ man’s nerve away when a serious ac cident happens to him. We had a run of about seventy-five miles, each way, and on undays in summer we c: excursions. We had never had any trouble, but for a month befo: ence I am tell- ing my engine pn in a bad te and acted as ugly as the mischief. 1 ported the matter to the divis! super- | intendent and he told me to stick {t out for a month or so lon, relieve the old man a jin the shops. Two Sun. after that we were returning in the evening about 9 o'clock behind time, owing to delays occa- joned by washouts causing us to run slow nd cautious. We had twenty miles to go, and it was over the worst part of the road, and I was watching out of the cab, when all at once the engineer gave a shout and | made a grab at me. His eyes were blaz- ing, and I could ree in a second that he was etther drunk or er: as they proposed to put him at work “How I got awey from m I don’t know, for he did his best to throw me off the cab, but I got away and climbed up on the weod piled up on the te’ He didn’t follow, but turned at once to the throttle and threw it wide open. 1 knew what that meant with six coaches full of people be- hind us and a bad track, and the first thing I did was to try to ‘knock him out with @ stick of wood. I missed my throw and he came after me with a heavy iron bar, and 1 went over the rear of the ten- der on to the platform of the car next to us. By this time we were fairly jumping over the track, and I was so rattled that I didn’t know what to do. “In a second, though, I gathered myself and uncoupled the train from the locomo- tive, which was not so hard to do, as we were on a down grade, and the engine was bouncing so that the coupling pin swung loose at intervals. Then I slapped on the brake there and went through the train as fast as I could, telling brakemen and con- auctor to slow up, and do it quick. Our part of the train being stepped we wot out to see where the engine had gone, but we could see nothing. Putting a man with a light on the track a mile behind us to stop the next train, the conductor and I went ahead to find what had become of the run- away. “Two miles away, or two minutes at the rate he was going, we found the engine in the ditch and the engineer buried under { The engine had struck a soft place an spread the rails—anybody knows wha that means, and think what the resull would have been to a train load of pase sengers going after that engine at sixty miles an hour. It almost made my hai? gray to think about it, and when the peoy ple on the train heard the story, the: made up a purse for me that almost mai it curl, and I conclided that it was an {] wind indeed which blew no good. ae Ma Office Boys in Court. From the New York Post. Recorder Goff, in general sessions, re cently expressed his disapproval of office boys eppearing in court for thelr employe ers. A clerk appeared for a firm who were to enter a plea and have a Gay set for trial in a certain case. The defendant did not appear, and the office boy was about to of- fer an excuse, when the recorder salfi: “This idea of sending office boys to ap pear in court is not a good one, It does ni show proper respect to the court, and { must cease.” In accordance with his order the bail was forfeited, although the all crime was only a misdemeanor, and be- cause of such a defendant was not hound to be present at pleading. Gon't smoke ty ent Moments cignrettes = you don't