Evening Star Newspaper, December 21, 1895, Page 22

THE EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 21, 1895-TWENTY-FOUR PAGES. A stalwart western Representative stood in front of the Riggs House yesterday with the awe inspired by such magnificent disregard for a full purs ae Of all the spectators that have thronged to the “Trilby” performances during the pest week there has been none more in- | terested than a little ten-year-old chap who | sat in front of me one night. His appre- ciation «f Taffy's herculean strength was | shown by sparkling eyes and involuntary talking to a group of friends, when he was | approached by a street peddier selling pencils, &c., whose haggard countenance and ragged clothes, to say nothing of his lameness in both feet, would at once ex- “cite pity. The Congressman scrutinized him close- ly, and the fakir made a quick dart around the corner as if he were running away from a policeman. That man,” said the Congressman, “tis a professional beggar. I have seen him many times in front of the Chicago board of trade when I was there and various ether prominent places in Chicago, where he operated, no doubt, to profitable ad- vantage. His apparently crippled condition and haggard face 1s all a bluff, and just why he has transferred his operations to v ington I am unable to understand, unless it be to reap a harvest from the charitably disposed. He is perfectly able .to work, I know.” ee eS A city pastor was very busy in his study a few days ago, when he was interrupted by a call from a well-dressed gentleman, whose conversation, as the pastor says, was simply exhilarating and decidedly dig- nified. He wished to engage the pastor to marry his brother, giving the date, street, num- ber, and even the hour when the preacher should call. Just upon leaving the distinguished guest suddenly remembered that he wished to go @ short distance Into Virginia to arrange some details of the event, and he did not care to go back home, consequently a smail sum would save him time and lots of trouble. He got it. ‘The preacher also looked up the brother's house at the appointed time, but no one there knew of any contemovlated marriage. It must have been a mistake—certainly the wrong house. * Tke fact then dawned upon the pastor ‘that he had been “‘buncoed.” eee ee I met a victim of hard luck yesterday. He was not a tramp nor did he solicit alms. He simply wanted a way in waich to earn his living without encountering danger. - I investigated his story and found it true. He began business as a railroad brake- man, which occupation he followed two weeks before getting his right hand be- tween the bumpers, crushing It so that two fingers and the thumb had to be amputat- ed. Then he secured a position as watch- man at a mill and held it for three months. At the expiration of that time he fell through a hatchway that had been left open and the opening covered with straw. This broke his right leg in such a way that it had to be removed. When he left the hospital he got work as a watchman at a brewery, wlifere, upon the fourth morning, they fished him out of a vat and took him to the hospital. He was badly disfigured by this boiling operation, and his face is covered with scars. He had some education, enaggh to keep a time book, and was given work as timekeeper on a turpentine farm in North Carolina. In this place he remained a year, writing with his uninjured hand, when one day he took refuge during a storm under a tree and his arm and side we aralyzed by a stroke of lighning. He wanted to get to Baltimore, where a brother has a cigar and fruit stand, and he can handle these, he thinks, with the two fingers left him for use until they are bitten by some taran- tula concealed in a bunch of bananas, When he believes that his’ fateful career will be over. . * tek * Ot A romance of the first water found its completion in one of the weddings that oc- cafrred here in such number last week. Ac- cording to Dame Rumor the story runs thus: Some years ago, it wouid be unfair to the bride to say how long since, an at- tache of one of the branches of the United States government found himself ordered for duty to a village whose hotel or lodg- ing accommodation were of the sparsest variety. As his family accompanied him it was a hard matter to arrange things to the liking of his wife and ebildren, but the minister of the town hearing of his dilem- ma, and being himself a young bachelor, offered to give up the rectory to the new- comer. Here was born the heroine of the romance, and as a mark of appreciation of the ministerial courtesy he was asked to stand as godfather for the littie girl. Years passed by and on the occasion of a convention in this city the erstwhile god- father bethought himself of his spiritual charge who lived here, and on calling he | fcund the infant grown into a handsome young woman. He, being still the unat- tached bachelor of former times fell a victim to her womanhood’s charms, and the proper culmination of the love story begun so many years ago was reached _ When the bells of their marriage rung out merrily this December, and the bride was taken back to the scenes of her earliest infancy to begin her life work as ‘the min- ister's wife."” xk KOR OK A mother-in-law story came to my ears the other day which for its old-fashioned satire against this merttorfous class of be- ings is happily unique in these days. A certain son-in-law, resident in the same house with his wife's mother, had a pas- sion for cats and asked a friend of his to save him one of a specified variety. When the time came for the deportation of the elect kitten, which went by the rame of Dalsy Koomey, a postal card was dispatched to the cat’ fancier, with the Message “Miss Daisy Koomey will be glad to see you any time you call, at No. — — street. This card fell into the hands of the alert mother-in-law, and arming her- self for the fray she started to the address mentioned, prepared to give Miss Daisy Koomey a generous piece of her mind. Arrived, she demanded, with wrathful Voice, “does a person named Koomey—Miss Daisy Koome: ive here?” snickered the maid, who a joke when she came in ecntact with it, “but we've got a little kit- ten named that; will she do just as well?’ But the avenger of her daughter's hap- piness was en route for home to tear up that misleading postal card, before the girl had finished her sentence. * eK A * An undertaker told me an interesting story. A number of years ago he sold a man who lives in Maryland not many miles from Washington a coffin for him- self, a tom that is much more preva- lent in some country districts than would be supposed, although occasionally news- Papers recount such cases. A few days ago the customer drove into Washington, the coffin in his wagon, and stopping at the undertaker’s place of business he took out the box ar carried it into the stor “I've kept it all these years,” he explain. ed, “supposing I would die first, but my baby, born when the coffin was old, fs dead, and I have no money with which to buy another coffin. I brought this one, to see if I could not exchange it for a little one.” ‘The exchange was made and the country- man started back upon his sorrowful m: sion to bury his child in the coffin he had Obtained in the place of the one intended for himelf. The State Department has always been regarded as a seal of eligibility to society of the ultra sort among its men clerks, but it seems now that the women employed in these exclusive precincts also regard them- selves as somewhat removed above the usual department clerks. I overheard one of the elect descanting on the merits of her Pesition to a less favored mortal in the street cars the other day, and in order to convince her companion of her sincerity in declaring that she preferred the state to any other department, she added this clincher, “I would rather work for $000 in the State Department than ‘get $1,800 in @ny other.” Her companion gazed ‘at her 1 | seechingl. | sion confederate soldiers. | alms-giving, “never to bestow charit, twitches of his own muscular right arm; Svengsii's magnetic power was followed with b ss fascination, while the woes of Trilby and Little Billee caused the sym- pathetic heart of the youngster to over- but it was the final thrilling scene that completely carried him away. Trilby was holding in her hand the photograph, whcese magic influence is evidenced so per- fectly by Blanch Walsh, and the boy In frent began to grow more and more uerv- ous, till at last he covld stand it no longer, and seeing tbe unfortunate girl yielding open-eyed to the spell he cried out be- , “Throw it away, throw it away;” and the people around him echoed the sentiment. * ek kK I was talking to a new member of Con- gress, who at home is a very successful yer, and he had a intive tale of woe. I don’t care how much experience a man may have in other lines,”’ he said, “it takes him a full term as Congressman to learn anything about what his duties are and how to perform them. I believe it will re- quire one entire session for me to become familiar with the Capitol and the various departments. Every day I learn some- thing that I never knew about—things that are absolutely essential. It makes no dif- ference what a man’s abilities may be, he has to go through the experience before he czn really accomplish anything in Con- gress. Before I came I had an idea that [ should Lecome thoroughly familiar with what bills I wanted passed, write them correctly, and then present their merits in such a way that they would appeal to the miads of members generally. Just how that was to be done I did not know, but now I realize that those things of which I was ignorant are the very matters that are essential. The term ought to be longer than two years. Districts where the par- ties are closely contested change so fre- quentiy that they are never really intelli- gently represented, although they may send men who in intellectyival Webster or Clay. There ought. to be text books, writ- ten by men of-long experience, and candi- dates for Congress, or even legislatures, could then study closely the profession of statecraft. Making laws and_ practicing law are two very different things, and [ would gladly avail myself of the expe- riences of men who have served for years, if they were avallable. As it is, it will be an accident if I accomplish any good for my constituents this term.” + eee The qvestion as to what there is in a name arises in a new way in the present Congress. There are two Representatives by the neme of McCall, one from Massa- chusetts and the other from Tennessee. The former is better known than the lat- ter, who, however, in his own state ts re- garded as one of the ablest of southern re- publican leaders. Mr. McCall of Tennessee introduced some private pension bills, to pension some ex-confederate soldiers who had deserted and joined the federal army. And now come the ever loyal constituents of the bay state Congressman and score him roundly for introducing bills to pen- x * * * There is an absent-minded man in Wash- ington who will never try to catch coal thieves again. His cecal has disappeared with great regularity, and all attempts to detect the depredators having proved iutile, the man concluded to try an experiment of which he had read. He filled two or three lumps of coal with powder and placed them where the thieves would be most apt to fird them; then he chuckled and went to bed, expecting next morning to hear of an ex- plosion. He went out to the coal house, and the lumps were still there, the coal not hav- ing been molested during the night, and, leavine the door open, he returned to his kitchen to build the fire with coal he carried in the previous night when he “loaded” the chunks for his dishonest neighbor. In about five minutes after the fire was started there was a report and the stove lids flew around the room, while a chunk of coal struck him squarely between the eyes. Instead of plac- ing the coal charyed with powder on the pile, he had put it in the bucket and arranged other lumps by mistake. He explains the injury to his face by saying he fell in the dark cellar, while the man who sold him a new range won't say a word. oe ee Representative Brown of Tennessee had a close call for his life at one time. He was prosecuting attorney and conducted the case of a man charged with burglary. The pris- cner had served a term in the penitentiary and had said to his fellow prisoners in the county jail that he would never serve an- other. The evidence was conclusive a 3 Lim, and all the time the prosecuting attor- ney was speaking the accused man mut- tered, while his eyes flashed fire. It w evidert that he bore very stron; ill-will to- ward the lawyer. When Mr. Brown con- cluded his speech. & feeling that seemed like presentiment prompted him to avoid the chair he had occupied and take a seat far- ther away from the prisoner. When the jury brought in a verdict of guilty the pris- oner drew a knife from his sleeve an] start- ed toward the prosecuting attorney, but seeing that any attempt to reach him would be futile, he thrust the blade into his throat and succeeded in cutting it from ear to ear. The sheriff seized him, but the desperate man took the knife in the other hand and stabbed himself again, falling back dead. ‘The change of chairs undoubtedly prevented the convict from killing the attorney. ‘ * KOK OK OK Cc. L. Bartlett, who was in Washing- ton for two or three years, but who now bas a place in southwestern Virginia, Is in the city, and told me of a deer he owns. “I have raised the deer,” he said, “from the time he was a fawn, and nk, as we call him, is a great favorite throughout that section of country. He will come to my call and follow me like a dog. But his principal value is as a decoy. There are a few wild deer left in that country, al- though not many, and occasionally I hunt@ them. When I do, Frank goes with me. He will find them if there are any, and will cell them to him. Then, if there is a buck, he > {ll make a sound that fs a wager of battle, and the wild animal will make a rush for him. Then Frank runs right back to where I am, and I shoot his antagonist. In case of a doe, he kads-her up very clese to me hout ary semblanee of fight. By his aid I killed ten deer last winter in a country where they are scarce. * * * ee A charming and charitable ‘woman of Washington hes adogted as a rule of giv- ing, one which might be emulated with henor by many of her sister women. “I make it a rule,” she said, speaRing of her that costs me nothing, either of self-defiial or labor. Just now,” she continued, “I am getting my winter fund ready, and as there is such demand for fancy work of all kinds I earn all the money I intend to donate this season with my needle. Of course I do not enter into competition with the needy ones of the earth in making my sales, for I put the price up so high for of the articles that, sometimes I am surprised myself when I dispose of them.” There was an amusing episode in the Chesapeake and Ohio depot. A man with a valise met another man, also carrying a valise. The man entering the depot said to the man coming out: “Is this the right depot for Charles:on, W. Va.?" ‘Spell it,"" was the reply. *-h-a-r-l-e-s-t-o-n,"’ spelled the man. Yes, sir, this is all right. I have just come from there and am going over to the ether depot to go to C-h-a-r-l-e-s-t-o-w-n, W. Va." ‘You don't say,” said the newcomer ce- lightedly. “Shake,” holding out his hand. have just come from the place you are going and had to come back because it was the wrong town. Lost two days by it.” “I did the same by going to the town you want to get to.” And they parted, but neither will ever forget the meeting. SEEN AT THE CAPITOL Christmas is coming. You would know it by the holly and mistletoe that drift into the House and Senate in one way and another. Senator Peffer was pacing ab- stractedly back and forth in the Senate chamber the other day, and stooped to pick up a bit of holly that lay in his path. A wee tot in the gallery was flourishing a big holly branch, and a twig broke and fell at the Senator's feet. He looked at it a mcment, then without seeming to reco; nize it he laid it down on Senator Baker's desk, whence it disappeared to decor- ate the lapel of a page’s coat. Sometimes a member comes in with a bit of holly on his coat,gbut not one of them has had the temerity to wear a bit of mistletoe. It would a rank invitation for some fair maid's kiss. Mr. Pickler of South Dakota bought a big branch of mistletoe of an im- portunate urchin the other morning, but he got rid of it before he reached the House. * KK OK How one does miss the pages from the floor! They were always such bright, man- ly little fetlows, and the members used to get very fond of them. Now they are sim- ply errand boys, who come when the bell calls them and disappear. Some of the older members ignore the bells entirely. Mr. Cannon claps his hands impatiently, again and again, for a page, and then re- membering the bell jabs at it till you would think he would punch a hole in the inof- fensive thing. Mr. Dingley doesn't seem to catch on to the new-fangled contriyance either, and claps wildly now and then. It is very funny to see the shamefaced way in which some of the second-termers look about to see if anybody has noticed their hand-clapping performance, and then sneakingly touch the bell.” It’s. mighty hard to teach an old dog new tricks. “Gosh! We thought Dave was a mighty big man to,home, didn’t we?” said one man to another in the gallery Wednesday. “Just Icok at him down there. He's only one of 356, and not such a buster at that. Reckon he'd get skeered of his own voice if he started to make that speech of his down there.” And what he said is true. Lots of men find it out when they get here, too. Mr. Springer and his pink are gone. No- body has tried to imitate his fad, and the guides can no longer say to strangers, “See that man with the red rose in his button hole? Well, that’s Springer of Illinois. And it wasn’t a rose, and never was. was a carnation, without which Mr It a rich warm red one, Springer in his long years of service in Congress was never seen. He was ill for months in the Fifty- second Congress, but whatever else he gave up, the carnation was retained, for he had one of these blooms right by him all the time. he sitting “member who beat Mr. Springer is a small gman, Mr. James Austen Connolly, and he wears the badge of the Loyal Legion where Mr. Springer used to put his carnation. Mr. Connolly was a gallant soldier, and is a man of ability, though one of the smallest men in stature in the House. +e oe Representative Burrell of Illinois enjoys what is a proud distinction to a good re- publican, He has lived in White county, Ill, sinnce 1834, and White county is so solidly democratic that, excepting Mr. Bur- rell, there has never been a republican elected in it in all its history. He was elected county judge in 1873 and re-elected in 1 He was elected sheriff in 18st and now has come to Congress from a district largely made up of democratic counties, but a better republican than Capt. Burrell never sat in Congress. . x * eK One of the interesting figures in Con- gress is George B. McClellan, Old soldiers who sit in the galleries are always interest- ed in finding out where he Sits, and thus far he simply reflects his father's grea ness. “Yes, he looks like ‘Little Mac, said one of McClellan's old veterans the other day. x * K OK OK The President’s message Is not of gen- eral interest to women, but the Venezuelan quesiion seems to have roused them to some extent. In the democratic gallery on Tuesday there sat an ardent little demo- cratic woman whose husband votes witl the majority, so she doesn't often talk. When the reading of the truly American document was énded and the storm of ap- plause had died away, she turned to her escort and said in such a pleased way: “Oh, I am so glad that the President has done something that his own party as well as the republicans ean approve. Won't he be delighted when they tell him how much they admire his policy? He must have been sp cast down at the way they have all found fault with him!” *x* eK KOK Mr. Brice of the hyacinthine locks now wears his carnation in solitary glory, “the last rose of summer left blooming alone,” as it were. Very few of the members of Con- gress seem to care for flowers, but some little woman who has a husband in Con- gress does, and she was determined thgt the offering to her husband on his first occu- pency of his seat in the honorable body should be one that he could keep on the parlor center table, so an elaborate tower- like structure was planned, a ladder with running vines, stopping at the next to the top round, in a suggestive manner, all of bright manufactured moss and bright arti- 1 flowers. It stood on his desk all one day, and is probably retired under a glass case now. Bek oee kee People who imagine that Mr. Cannon, the objector since Mr. Holman is retired to rrivate life, is ever going to grow old ought to see him scorching down 11th street on a bike. If he keeps on, and ever loses his job in Congress, he might start out as a bi- cycle expert. wR OK OK Ok Judge Calderhead of Kansas was walking down the steps of the west front of the Cap!- tei Wednesday evening with a friend, who asked him if he had ever been in Washing- ton before this session of Congress. “Once,” he replied, quietly. The judge is almost u Quaker in speech. “When was that?” asked his friend. “On the evening of June 29, 1863," he re- plied. = “Ah, just before the battle of Gettysburg. Did you take part in that tight’ “No. We had just come in from Harper's Ferry. I was only just out of the hospital from a severe attack of typhoid fever. We marched from the canal landing up Penns vanla avenue, which was then paved with cobble stones. My feet were tender as a baby’s, and the Skin as thin, and that march crippled me in no time. My feet were so sore and blistered by the time that we reached the pavement here'—they were standing by the stone posts just north of the entrance by the Peace monument—“that I thought I never had felt anything so soft and comfortable as the stone, and I crawled right up against the fence, and, hugging my musket, Went to sleep and never wakened till the sun was an hour or more high the next morning. The city has improved some since then,” he added, with a smile, “and I em here under rather pleasanter auspices.” IN OLDEN TIME. Not in Congress Because Sent to Jail. “That's where I intended to come when I started out in life,” said an old man, as he looked at the Capitol building. He was talking to himself, but the words were sudible to a Star writer, who said: “And you never realized your ambition?” “Not exactly, young man. I was prom- ised the next nomination if I succeeded. in electing the candidate of my party. I had plenty of money and went to work, and he was elected.”* you were not given the next nomi- . They couldn't, was in jail for buying vote: it to ancther man. That was the last I ever had to do with politics. If they hadn't put me in jafl I'd have come to Congress over thirty years ago. ss He Was very well. I and they gave A Happy Family.—Fliegende Blatter. WASHINGTON’SOLD MASTERS Canvases That Have Strong Claim to Being Gennine. A Supposed Titian Found on Capitol HilI—A Fra Angeljco That Stop- ped a Chimney “lole, ——— Dr. Barbarin, curato¥ ‘of the Corcoran Art Gallery, is engaged in’ cleaning end restor- ing what may prove, accgrding to some con- noisseurs, to be a Titian. It is the property of Mrs. Dove, wife of the superintendent of the Capitol Hill post office. She remem- bers that her grandfather, John Barclay of Louisville, Ky., bought the picture in Eu- Tope many years ago. The canvas 1s about thirty inches by thirty-eight, and is an up- right. The figure is that of Salome bearing the head of John the Baptist on a salver. At her side, in shadow, is a female figure hooded and draped as if for a foil-to throw the Salome into importance and contrast. But a small portion of the canvas has yet been restored. Until this work is finished and varnish has given life and depth to the colors, there is little chance to judge it. The Salome is a large, well-kept, voluptu- ous woman. She is richly clad, with a girdle of jewels swinging across her bosom, and her pose, with head held high and partly averted from the hideous burden in her hands, 1s all that a master might have sought to express in the theme. So far as action is concerned, it is the cruel, sensuous, master-serving harlot of the orient. The figure, hcwever, is more suggestive of the work of Rembrandt. When, the picture is restored it will be taken to*New York and submitted to the judgment of experts there. * * x There is also on exhibition at Veerhoff’s what is likely to be accepted as an old mas- ter. This is claimed to be an “Annuncia- tion,” by Fra Angelico. This picture was found years ago in North Carolina, and came into the possession of Capt. Boutel’e of the coast survey, and now belongs to h son, Mr. J. B. Boutelle of this city. This “Annunciation” is painted on wood, which is badly checked and worm-eaten. The face of the picture, however, is in a good state of preservation, and the colors are rich and firm. The scene is the annunciation by the angel to the Holy Virgin of her destined glory as the mother of Christ. The numerous details of the picture are worked out, as is usual in the work of Fra Angelico, with great fidelity and patience. The way this picture was found makes a good story. Mr. Fmd Braendle, who was art commissioner from Italy to the Phila- delphia centennial exposition, one day over- heard a lady in St. Matthew’s Church re- mark that she knew where there was a picture resembling one hanging in the church. Mr. Braendle’s curiosity was aroused, and he went to see the picture. With his thorough knowledge of the old masters, he was not long in satisfying him- self that this work had good claim to genu- ineness. If it is accepted as a Fra Angelico its value is great, for it is an excellent ex- ample. The Lttfe piece of worm-eaten board over which the monk of Fiesole bent on the floor (for.this was his method of painting) was for years used to stop a chimney hole. Yet it is as perfect as several works by Fra Angelico that have sold for large fortunes. pata The a culty with an ola master is to find a purcha er or the collector never regards found picture as of any value until he has bought it. Then it is of fabulous worth. * ately les these masterpieces, there are two ve been kicking about in Washing- ton junk shops for years that are un- doubtedly genuine. Qne of these is a Mu- rillo which the late Dr. ‘Bliss bought of a Mexican war veteran, who said he tore it from its frame in a/Mexican convent. It represents the good itan, and is a wonderful piece of flesh pdint. The other picture referréd to Is a lttle har room scene attributed to, Adrian Brauwer, the contemporary and boon friend of Rem- brandt. It is bright ghd strong in col; the day Its drunken aythor painted ft. Tt bears his peculiar signature, which is more than can be said of the Murillo, the Fra Angelico or the Titian, * ‘This little Brauwer, if it should ever meet a purchaser, would bring $2,000. The Fra Angelico, judged by what others hav. brought, ought to bring $50,000, The Titian is worth a fortune, if genuine. So, too, with the Murillo. * * OK There are doubtless a number of old masters lying hidden in Washington gar- rets. A well-known Washington citizen has what is undoubtedly a genuine Hobbema. It has been in his family for a century or more. When a boy he found it in the gar- ret and proceeded to wash It with strong soap suds. As it was slow in getting clean he rubbed soap into it and rubbed two- thirds of the signature off. It {s a brilliant landscape and an excellent example. —_ PURSUED BY NO. 13. How St. Louis Won the Convention Despite a Horrible Hoodoo. The success of St. Louis in securing the favor of the national republican committee the other day, and winning the big June convention, had the effect of eliminating the number 13 superstition from the minds of the Missourians pretty thoroughly. When the St. Louis delegation was «p- peinted to come to Washington, ex-Con- gressman Nathan Frank threw up bis hends in holy horror, and called attention to the fact that there were thirteen mem- bers of it. Instantly another name was added, and the party journeyed eastward. Mr. Frank, however, was still dublous about the effect the original number would have on the result of the fight for she con- vention, and this impression was made still more doleful when the train made ex- actly thirteen stops between St. Louis and this city. Mr. Kennard and other members of the delegation tried to soothe Mr. Frank on their way up from the depot, and believed they had succeeded. When the Arlington was reached, however. Mr. Frank gave a cry of utter dismay. He had been izned to room No. We might as well go back,” he cried; “I know now that the commitice will dilly-dally and not come to a ballot until Friday, and that Will be the 18th of the month. The infernal heodoo 1s on us, I tell you, and there's no use trying to overcome it.” The prospects, however, seemed to and every member of the delega- mised Mr. Frank, with solemn pro- testations, that he would stop on his twelfth drink, Mr. Frank felt better as Tuesday wore on, and made a rattling good speech, but his hopes went to pieces when the first ballot was announced—St. Lous, 13! He was absolutely disdpnsolate until the next vote was taken, and then he beamed. After the st ballot, when St. Louis was victorious, Mr. Frank called a colored man to him and handed him 4 rabbit's foot and a $10 bill. The colored brother smiled and remarke qi .. ‘Much bleege, Misger Frank; I knowed dat fut ‘ud pull you alls put, kase a cross- eyed man wid a club. fut kilt de rabbit whut dis fut cum futh'it' de middle ob de night in de Ebenezer grabeyard. Mr. Frank went back to St. Louis with the other hind foot of, the self-same rab- Litt, and it would be wise perhaps for scme shrewd candidate ,to hunt him up along about June 16,' — HAD SPIRIT. 3 The Champagne Lacked Body, but the Mountaineer, Approyed of It. While cut on a camping trip, a party of Washingtcnians took with them a supply of champagne. They employed a mountaineer as man of all work, and he was greatly disgusted at having no whisky. “I kan't stan’ it no- how,” he said. “Hain’t bin myself sence I come. Never knowed a party like this *thout likker_befo’.” One of them sug- gested that the man be treated to cham- pagne. He drank some, and said: “It tastes kin’ o’ good. I’ve got better cider to huin. I reckon it'll hev to do.” Every few minutes he took a drink, and in a few hours the man was wild, whoop- ing so loud that the echoes reverberated from the mountains all around. The next day was the last in camp, and as the man was paid off he said: “Say, I won't charge yo’ all a cent ef you'll jes’ tell me how ter make that kin’ o’ cider. ‘Tain't got no body, but it’s got more spirit than any likker I ever drunk.” HOW PAPA FROG FOOLED THE DUCK R. H., in New Budget. In a slimy pool near a farm there lived a family of frogs (Pa, Ma, Tim, Slim and Jim), who might have been as happy as five frogs well could be but for an old duck, who was always waddling around and making them afraid that he would gobble them up. At last they felt that they could bear it no longer, so they began to “talk it over” to see if there was any way of frightening the old duck away. “Let us all go out together, the five of us, and hell be frightened and run away when he sees such a lot of us,” said one of the lit- tle frogs. “Nonsense, my dear!” said Ma. “He'd sun tah ony eS jn SWALLOWS, say only gobble us all up one after the other, like so many lumps of fat.” “Ah,” sighed Pa, “if I were only~ big enough I'd soon frighten him away.” And the little ones all said, “Yes, if Pa was only big enough he'd soon frighten the old duck hen they were all very silent for a long time, trying to think what they should do. At last the “youngest frog ‘said: “I’ve thought of a plan—a real good plan!” “What is it?” they all cried out. “Why, this,” said he. “Let us make our- selves into one big frog, as big as an ox, and then the old duck will be frightened of us.” “So he would,” said they all. “But how are we to do it? Sasily enough,” he answered. “I'll tell you how. If Slim swallows Jim, and Tim savallows Slim with Jim in him, and Ma swallows Tim with Slim and Jim in him, and Pa swallows Ma with Tim, Slim and Jim in her, then Pa would be as big as an ox, and the old duck would be afraid of him, and never come and worry us any more. ‘This they all agreed would be a capital plan. So Slim swallowed Jim, and Tim swallow- ed Slim with Jim in him, and Ma swallowed ‘Tim with Slim and Jim in him, and Pa s lowed Ma with Tim, Slim and Jim in her; and though he felt rather tight. he couldn't help feeling very proud, especially when Ma, Tim, Slim and Jim all croaked at once, for it sounded to him like the roaring of a lon. Pa didn’t feel much inclined to jump just then, though he felt very light-hearted, so he sat down, patiently waiting for the old duck. Well, it wasn’t long before the old duck came along, and as soon as Pa frog aw him, he and his family inside set up a ride croaking, but the duck wasn’t a bit frightened, and only hurried forward more greedily, being delighted te mee: so fat a frog. Then he said, avack!” opened his mouth wide and gobblea down Pa frog and all inside at one big mouthful. Then he waddied away toward the farm as quickly as ever he could. Now there was a sly fox, who had heen tching, and before the duck had gone very far the fox jumped out from behind the hedge and carried him off to his hole, in- tefding to make a hearty meal in safety, but no sooner had he laid the duck down when Pa frog jumped out of the dead duck’s mouth, and Ma jumped out of Pa, and Tim jumped out of Ma, and Slim jumped out of. Tim, and Jim jumped out of Slim—which strange sight so frightened the old fox that he ran off and was never seen near the farm any more, and as the five frogs lived in pea ever after. A MOOSE STORY. The Relator Had a Hard Time and Will Not Repeat It. Telling stories is a fad now. A Star writer heard one spoiled by an inquisitive listener at Willard’s. “I was up in Maine last summer,” said one of the loungers, ‘“‘where I had a most exciting chase after a moose.” “What part of Maine?” asked the listen- er. “Old Orchard,” was the prompt reply. “The nearest moose is 300 miles on an air line from Old Orchard.” “I said an old orchard,” said the story teller. “It was north of Waterville. I went hunting, not expecting to find anything larger than a jack rabbit.” “Hold on,” said the listener, “there are no jack rabbits in Maine."”” “Well, by jack I meant a male, just as we speak of male mules. Well, as I said, I did not expect to see anything bigger than a he rabbit, a had gone down into a stub- ble when I heard something squeal, and, looking up in an old apple tree, 1 saw a big moose sitting in the forks of a limb, ready to spring.” “See here; do you mean to say that a moose was in a tree? Don't you know that a moose is bigger than a bull and wears horns “Certainly, As I said, I saw in what I took to be an apple tree a moose, and as I approached it, I saw that what looked to be the trunk of the tree was the animal's body, he sitting on his haunches, and the limbs of the tree were the moose’s horns, while in the crotch of the horns was his mouth, which was open, showing his teeth, and he was squealing. But the man’s audience was gone, and the story teller went away, muttering, “I seem to be kind of off on mooses. I've got to try some other anima! oe Child-Logic. “Otto, can you tell me why these little white china cups are placed on the telegraph oles ?"" B “Why, that's easy. So that the telegrams can get under cover when it rains.’ SHARP CAMPAIGNING. A Story of How a Representative Cat Out an Opponent. As a Star writer was coming up the ave- nue from the Capitol one afternoon this week he overtook a southern Congressman. Of course, 1t had to be that way, for no Congressman coming up the avenue from the Capitol would overtake anybody. He isn’t there for that purpose; he walks for pleasure, and warts it to last just as long as it will. So he strolls. Then they both strolled, and they talked as they strolled. After a bluck or two something reminded the M. C. of a story. “During one of my campaigns,” said he, “I was doing the rough country, and one day, riding along the road with my cam- paign companion, we caught up with a na- tive carrying what we were quite sure were two (wo-gallon jugs in a meal sack thrown across his horse. We jogged along with him, and I began to do a little pump- ing, though without making myself known to him. “It's none of my business,’ I said, after some beatirg around the bush. ‘But what have you got in the jugs?’ “Ordinarily,” explained the M. C., “that sort of a question would be dangerous to ask, for if the contents happened to be ‘moonshine’ and the questioner happened to be suspected of being a ‘revenoo,’ trou- ble would very likely ensue. But I was on safe ground, for J could easily prove my identity if necessary. “‘Them? he answered, slapping the jug next to me. “‘ves. What have you got in them? I'm no temperance man,’ I hinted. This time he laughed. “‘Oh,’ he said, ‘I've got votes. ‘Votes?’ said I, questioningly ‘Shore.’ tow do you mean? I asked, didn’t seem to catch on. ‘Votes,’ he repeated. Then he spelled it out, ‘V-o-t-e-s.’ “I understand that part. But how do you mean? Who are they for? “They're fer Judge Blank, in course.’ “Oh,” and I smiled, fqr the judge was my opponent. ‘How many have you? “‘Thirty-tw Ncw, look here,’ said I. ‘Let up on that and tell me what you've got.’ ““Two gallons uy good old red liquor in each jug, and two jugs; eight pints to the ailon, anc a vote to the pint.” ‘That was straight, and I thanked him. ‘You are sure it isn’t moonshine? I said. “I shore am,’ he said, indignantly. ‘You don’t reckon votes in these parts is only wuth a pint uv moonshine apiece, do you? Not much; but it’s different with the good old red liquor.’ “Then I began a diplomatic moyement, which resulted in my buying the whole four gallons, on condition that he would deliver the lot to the landlord of the tav- ern where I was going to stop in the next town, about six miles further ahead. I paid him the cash—$4 a gallon, too, by the way—and later I explained the situation to the landlord, who was an active friend of mine, and laughingly told him that I thought perhaps I had cut in a bit on the judge, and he (the landlofd) might have liquor to use in his house. He didn’t for I | the judge in that votes. say anything about that part of it, and I | never did esk him what he did with it, but when the returns came in, I had beaten recinct by thirty-two Perhaps it wes a coincidence,” con- cluded the statesman. “I can't say as to that; I merely narrate the facts.” “Of cours said The Star writer, and the stroll continued. Se ‘“ ROBBED HIS SWEETHEART. A Strange Experience of a Washing- ton Detective’s Professional Career. “I was disgusted a few days ago at a case I worked up,” remarked a local de- tective in the presence of a Star writer. “A young lady who was possessed of considerable money and a number of jew- els sent for me. She had been robbed of some diamonds valued at several hundred dollars. I finally found all but one pin, they having been pawned. I obtained a description of the man who borrowed mon- ey upon them, but for several weeks could not locate him. When I did, his landlady said that he had left that morning and was going to Baltimore. I watched the depot, and was soon rewarded by seeing the man step out of a hack. I seized his arm and said: ‘You are arrested! ‘What he asked in a tone that showed he ‘h surprised, but greatly fright- “That will be explained at the sta- tion,’ I replied. ‘There was a feminine shriek from the hack, and glancing into the vehicle I saw it was my fair client. They had just been married and were starting on their wedding trip. I took in the situation at a glance, and then realizing that I was powerless under the new order of affairs, T said: ‘I see now that vou are not the man I want, and let him go. Then he began to bluster, and taking him aside I gave him to understand I knew of his robiing the girl to pay the expenses of his courtship and he quieted down very suddenly.” —— AND CHICAGO, NEW YORK The Brotherly Love Which Blossoms in the American Metropoli, “Tt’'s funny how New York likes to rub it In on Chicago on every occasio} remark- ed a traveling man at a Washington hotel to a Star reporter. 2 “And vice versa,” replied the reporter. “I was over at New York not long ago,”’ continued the traveler, passing unnoticed the reporter's Latin, “and happened into a station house where one of the police cffi- cers {s a friend of mine. Just as I was on the point of leaving, a man came rushing in looking as if he were badly scared. “ ‘Here, Mr. Officer,’ he half shouted, ‘I’ve been robbed.” ‘Where?’ inquired the officer. ‘Just around the corner.’ ‘How did it happen?’ ‘A thief grabbed a valuable charm off of my watch chain and ran off down the alley with it.’ “ “Did he get the chain?’ asked the officer, with an evident purpose of getting an in: ventory before he got the thief. 0, he didn’t.” or the watch?’ ‘No.” ‘Nor your money?” No—nothing but the charm.’ ‘Where's your residence” ‘I don’t live here. I'm frem Chicago.” “The officer's manner underwent a mark- ed change. “Oh,” he sneered, ‘from Chicago, are you? Well, what are you kicking about? Do you expect to be treated the same way here you would have been treated by one of those Chicago robbers? You're in luck,’ and the officer called up a sergeant and turned the stranger over to him.” —__. A MOUNTAIN COURTSHIP. Sudden and Successful Wooing De- seribed by an Eye-Witness. “I was in what's known as the ‘flag pond’ district of Unicoi county, Tenn. said a traveling man‘*to a Star writer, “when a young fman roge up in front of the cabin where I was stopping and spoke to a girl who was dipping water from a spring. “Howdy, Sal’? “Howdy, Tonf,” “Come jump onthe hoss an’ go to Erwin with m “What fur?” “Ter git married. “But yo’ hain't done co'ted me yit.” “I know I hain’t, but I've done heen too pestered with work. I allus intended ter marry yer, though.” “But I hain’t got no 4lo’s,” remonstrated the girl. “Well, we'll jess ride on yon side of Er- win to Sister, Mag's In the cove, an’ I'll git yer a dress. ‘What kin’ of a dress Best thar is in Lowe's sto’.” Not another word was said. Sal dropped the bucket and jumped on the horse, shout- ing to her mother: “Mam, me an’ Tom is going ter git mar- ried at Erwin. We'll be by here in the mornin’.” ‘The mother started as if towall her back, but the horse was galloping down the lane, and she went and carried in the bucket of water without comment. —_— Her Only Hope. From the Chicago Record. “Did you ever see Miss Winchwether?” “No; what of her?” “She was married the other day to a blind man.” “How very odd.” “No; you wouldn't say so if you'd ever seen her.” HE HUNG UP HIS HAT. Then There Was 2 Ruction in a Lead« ing Washington Hotel. A well-known young New Yorker, wha was visiting Washington a week or twa@ ago, has been spending a large portion of his inccme and encroaching somewhat on his patrimony by purchasing large cold bot« tles end various sizes of hats, in order ta secure immunity from a number of friends who Kncw w happened to him here at the Riggs House. It appears that the young gentle is acquainted with quite a number of well-known young Washing- tonians, and when he comes to this city ha invariably endeavors to make his local friends have a good time. On the occasion of his last visit, accordingly, he invited a number of them to his apartment at the Riggs House one afternoon, and for two or three hours a very pleasant symposium was held. When his friends departed for their several city homes their entertainer concluded that he would e a little nap before dinner, so, taking off his coat and throwing himself upon the bed, he was scon slumbering. When he awakened the shades of night had fallen, and, sitting up on the side of the bed, he pulled out his match safe, lit a match and proceeded to light the gaslight at the side of the bureau, where such fixtures in hotels are usually found. In a few moments his nostrils be- gan to be assaulted by a series of the vilest smells possible to imagine. He threw up the windows, but there was no relief. At last, grabbing up his ‘coat, he pulled it on and rushed down to the hotel office. With each step that he struck coming down stairs he grew angrier and angrier, and at last. when he appeared before the calm and genial clerk, Mr. Charles Lambert, he was almost frothing gt the mouth. As he was volubly and indignantly attacking the hotel and everything connected with it, Manager D2 Witt came up and inquired at the matter w: _“Matter ejaculated the irate New Yerker, “why, you've put me in a room up- stairs thct’s over a sulphur factory and next door to a rubber melting shop. It smells like it, anyhow. I never struck such an ‘afernal place in my life.” Mr. De Witt, with that suave and come placent manner which has made him fa- mous. among bonifaces, suggested to his angry guest that they should go up to hig room together. “I'll go with anybody,” said the visitor. “And while we're up there you might get out a search rant and try to find my hat, because I've not only been pretty near suffocated with that burning rubber and sulphur perfume of yours, but some son-of- a-gun came into the room and stole my, new hat.” : Mr. De Witt thought the occurrence was very singular, but he said nothing, prefer- ring to await an investigation. When the apartment was reached he was convinced that the guest had good grounds for com- piaint. The room did, indeed, smell, a: though.the rubber boots of an army had been laid on the warmest side of an ener- getic stove. He entered, nevertheless, and turned on the electric light in the center of the room. Then a greater light broke upon him. Froin the globe on the gas jet by the side of the bureau he lifted the remains of a brand-new latest-style hat and handed it without & word to his guest. The latter looked at the tile and then at the globe, and then at De Witt. “Just keep this quiet,”’ he said to the hotel man, “and I'll pay for the wine whenever you are thirsty.” Bht the story leaked out, and now all his friends know it. It turned out that when he was entertaining his Washington acquaint- ances in the afternoon he had hung his hat over the top of the globe, in the way men have. Awakening from his nap in the dark, he hed lit the gas under it, and in his anger at perceiving the sudden and inexplicable smell in his apartment, he had not taken the time to make an investigation before make ing a row. ———“.+ HE OBJECTED. And the Wedding Guest Made His Ob- jection Stand Good. “I attended a mountain wedding in Mo« Dowell county, W. Va.,” said a well-known post office inspector to a Star writer. “Everything went along smoothly at first, the cabin was brilliantly lighted with can- dies and one of the best fiddlers in the coun- ty was present to furnish music for the dances to follow the wedding ceremony. Nothing occurred to mar the proceedings until the minister came to the point where he invited any one who had anything to say why the couple should not enter the bonds of matrimony to speak or thereafter hold his peace, when a rough-looking mountain- eer arose and said: e ““‘Anything ter say, parson? Wall, I reckon I hey. I hev allus intended ter mar ry that gal myself an’ thet feller knowed it, so he jess kep’ outen my way. I sent ‘im word to prepare for a lickin’ an’ he lef’ the country, but kep’ a-writin’ ter the gal. Now, I'm here ter make my word good, an’ fore this hyar event goes any farder, the taller= faced coward has me ter figtt.’ “In vain the preacher tried to restore or- der. A ring was soon squared in the center of the room and the men went at it. In about ten minutes the groom announced that he had enough, and the victor taking the arm of tke blusbing bride, deliberately changed the groom’s name in the marriage license to his own, while the vanquished lover made his escape. Everybody ap- peared to be satisfied, and the marriage took place as though nothing had occurred to mar the solemnity of the occasion.” ——_—_ COFFIN BATH TUB. A Traveling Man Undergoes a Pecu< liar Experience at a Hotel. “I wanted a bath in a North Carolina hotel,” said a traveling man to a Star writer. “I rang for the bell boy—there was but one—and when he arrived I asked him tf, they had a bath tub about the house. ‘Yes, sah; nice ones, sah,’ he said. “Bring me one.” “In a few minutes the boy returned, brings ing on his shoulder a coffin, with silvers plated handles and a lid all complete. “What does that mean?’ I asked, indige rantly. ‘Dat's de bath tub, sah. De landlord used to be in de undertakin’ business, sah, and had some coffins when he took dis hotel, His son is a tinner, sah, an’ jess lined de coffins with tin. Try it, boss. You'll fin’ it bery nice.’ ‘ Conquering my scruples, IT opened the ld and found the coffin lined with tin, as stated, and I took the bath, but I didn’t feel just right about it ae A Chris(mas-Time Soliloquy. From Harper's Bazar. “Yaas—something for isthel’s Chi —something handsome—and expensive. Gad! I fawnsy if I give her—myself, it will the bill. I'll twy it on.”