Evening Star Newspaper, October 26, 1895, Page 20

THE EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 26, 1895-TWENTY PAGES. THe INVENTOR OF A NEW DRINK. IN OLD MAGDEBURG ——__ + — Lederer is Out of the Beaten Track of Tourists. ——— THE ONLY AMERICAN IN TOWN Pen Pictures of the Inhabitants and Their Ways. WOMEN AS BURDEN BEARERS ——__+_—_ @epyright, 1895, by Bacheller, Johnson & Bacheller.) MAGDEBURG, October 15, 1895. MAGINE, IF you can, without the aid of a glass, being in a civilized city of over 200,000 inhabi- tants, live ones, and not another Yankee- man in town. The nearest thing in the Yankee line is Mr. Muth, the United States consul, who is @ naturalized citizen of the states and a S: credit both to his @dopted country and to the government that sent him here—why, only the State De- partment and Mr. Muth know. That the reasons are good and sufficient I doubt not. Mr. Muth explained it all to me, but the explanations were lke the wonderful machinery for making great guns at Krupp’s branch establishment at Bakau, a suburb of this city. The ma- chinery is on a very grand scale and prob- ably answers the purposes to which it is applied quite well, but It is too intricate tor my very limited mechanical understanding, Some of my friends still like to remind me of the time when I tried to “fake” up @ realistic picture of an engine, and put the smoke stack in the center of an ob- trusive boiler. Well, Mr. Muth’s being here has something to do with our tariff. At any rate Mr. Muth is the only consul :n town, and the welcome he gave me was conspicuous by its cordiality. He isn’t ac- tually overrun with visitors from the land of stars, stripes and trusts. My visit was the first he had received from an Ameri- y A Sample of Crowns. fan since early in July. The July man wanted to introduce cash registers into town, but he was eminently unsuccessful. "The ‘storekeepers prefer a peculiar check system of their own. I am not clever at examining things of this order, but as near as I could figure it out, the system consists uf a box with two slots, one for the slips of paper showing the amounts of the purchases, the other for the coin pre- sented in payment and a cracker bowl full of small change. When the change gives out business is temporarily suspended, the store closed for a few hours, and alJ hands except the proprietor go home for some- thing to eat and drink while the boss goes to the bank for more change. This state- ment may reasonably be contradicted, but I simply tell how the automitic cashier system of Magdeburg appeared to me after casual inspection. As to the closing of the stores at intervals during the day, there can be, of course, no deniai. It 13 almost a national custom, and a very good one, everything considered. Slow, but Prosperous. Magdeburg deserves its reputation of being a siow-going, prosperous old town, with little of interest except a few re- markable and anticuated churches, sup- plemented by a few old gates and build- ings In no repair to speak of, and a few memorials to a job, lot of emperors, kings and dukes. It Js in addition one of the cleanest cities in Germany, and as far as its municipal affairs are concerned possibly ahead of any other community of its size. It has no tioating pcpulation to boast of except those who float around on the queer lcoking boats on the Elbe; but its citizens Culling the Stations. &re polite to newcomers and evince no de- sire to “do” the stranger within their gates. There are no beggars on the streets; there are only one or two street stands; and of course such minor nuisances as bill board advertising, ash barrels and to- bacco spitting are unknown anywhere in Germany. In fact, there is scarcely any- thing to offend the senses. Everything 1s clean and orderly, ani there are plenty of places of amusement, but not enough to enable it to vie with Berlin (which is only a few hours distant), and thus attract the American tourist and his dollar--the Almighty Dollar which all foreigners are so fond of sneering at. And yet they sit up nights trying to evolve schemes for ex- tracting it from the pockets of the trans- atlantic visitor. Politeness 6f the Inhabitants. The Magdeburgers were very polite to me; as polite as they are to each other. The German custom is for men to doff their hats to their acquaintances. Here the men take off their hats to about every one they have ever seen before, and the result is that the male portion of the popu- lation might as well go about bareheaded for all the good their hats are to them. They've all met each other before. If some local notable happens to pass along the street, every man in sight, with one accord, takes off his hat and’ bows with great obscquiousness. Only yesterday I was in front of the hotel talking to the manaxer, a German who, like so many one me2ts everywhere, speaks English fluently, Sassing the Copper. when I noticed a great bowing and scrap- ins as an old gentieman of peculiar ap- pearance approached. The soldiers and po- licemen, naturally, made merely the im- pressive military salute. The man did not look like a great per- sonage. He had a cleft on top of his bald head, his nose was like a radish, and his clothes had a twisted effect. Yet every one saluted him with the utmost deference. It couldn’t be on account of his huge pipe, for that vas certainly a most disreputable affair, and not even unique. So I asked the hotel manager to tell me who was who. “That,” said he solemnly, “is Herr Schlummer, the inventor of the Schlummer Punsch.” I understood at last. It was more plain to me than the tariff and the consulate or the Krupp machinery. I had inveigled two Schlummer punches into my system the evening before. This punch is, next to beer and wine, the great national bever- age. One is a dose. 1 had made a palpable error in taking two. The anticuities are mostly old statu the first is that of the Emperor Otho who formed a Benedictine monastery here in the tenth century. The most interesting relic is the Dom Cathedral. There are some statues of kings, that are interesting main- ly in showing what an awful time they must haye had with their crowns, head- pieces that were about as dainty us the tops of wrought iron fence posts. Pompous Officials. There is a most pempors official in the railway station here. He looks like a bur- lesque general in opera bouffe. It is his mission in life to rush into the waiting room of the Banhof (railway station), and announce the departing trains. In his ex- uberant incoherency he has his counter- part in America. Only this one has a big dinner bell, as well as a large and uncul- tivated voice. When a train is nearly ready to depart he bursts into the waiting room, makes two or three half circular lunges with his bell, and cries harshly, hoarsely, as follows (but recollect 1 am no shorthand reporter, especially in the Teu- tonic lang ua: and cannot vouch for abso- lute accurac “Jeht sgeht sabnachbrederoetzmoserg:s enwusterwitzbrandenburgpot — sdamoder: renderan dedamplatzberl.nundzowe iterbrr- SEES” ‘That's what it sounds like. It is barely possible that the man didn’t mean to use abusive or profane language, but his little piece would bear modification even under the best possible construction that one may place on it in its present form. Electric Lights. This is the first place that I have been where incandescent electric lights were not looked upon as woeful extrayagance—some- thing in the precious line, to be doled out in the most minute doses. In London § had a room as big as a young barn. It was furnished with great disregard for cost or comfort. THe room was about eleven feet high, and near each end was a measly electriz bulb not much larger than a nea Harnessed and Yoked nut. When I wanted to read anything smaller than the hotel rules, which were in long primer, I'd have to ring for a step- ladder cr light the low candle on the man- telpiece. That was an English sample. In Hamburg there were also two little in- candescents In the room, a spacious, pro- fusely decorated and sumptuously furnish- ed apartment, in a hotel conceded to be the best in town, and overlooking the wa- ter park (called the Binnenalster), in the heart of the city. But even there only one incandescent could be used at a time. By an arrangement, ingenious if parsimoni- ous, the affair was so fixed that when one light was turned on the other was switch- ed off. Luckily one bulb was low down, and afforded light to read by if one hap- pened to be in bed. In Magdeburg it is different. The hotel where I am stopping has the finest rooms, the most lavish supply of electric light, the most sumptuous furnishings, the finest cuisine, and the best arrangement of any I have yet come across on this side of the water; and I have invariably tried to stop at the best in town. The prices here are not much over half of those in Hamburg; but there isn't enough of interest to at- tract tourists and the hotel is seldom more than half full. As I think I intimated once before, the officials in England and Germany, how- ever stupid and adhesive on themselves they may be, are never at heart quite so savage as their facial expressions, supple- mented by warlike uniforms and dragging swords, would indicate. I saw a young man connected with a band of strolling acters who were perform- ing at the kirmess go up to a burly po- liceman and tell him something that sound- ed like an explosion in a German type-set- ting machine factory. He said it too fast for my understanding, but it was evidently very personal. And the policeman said something back that to my ears was no more intelligible than if some one had sub- mitted to me a proof of a form of the Magdeburg Central Anzeiger after it had Leen pied by the gcvernment officials. Ger- man ts a nice, easy language to undcr- stand in a book with English notes, or when it’s spoken in a calm, distinct voice at the rate of about eight or ten miles an hcur; but when the brakes are let loose and the words fly along at a sixty-mile-an- hour gait an outsider can only stand by and look on, waiting for the collision—that seldom comes. Well, the policeman and the citizen used inflammatory language, waved their hands, snashed their teeth, and pointed their fin- gers in each other's faces. I fully expected Of re to see the policeman draw his sword—they have swords here, as you probably know, instead of clubs—and cut the rash young Burgerham into Hamburger steaks. But strange to relate, the young man stood his ground, while, instead of doing any carving, the conservator of the peace, swearing huskily in his side whiskers, and with his awful sword dangling at a deject- ed angle between his bowed legs, ambled away crestfallen. Afterward I found that the policeman had been in the wrong in some matter about which the young man had upbraided him; and, on that account, the policeman, realizing that he was in the wrong, had made a public exhibition of his white feather. A German policeman, so I am credibly informed, never arrests any one unless he has absolute assurance that he has a legal right to do so. He may no more over- step the law than the humblest subject. What's the good of being a policeman in Germany? And as for using his sword he woflld never dream of doing such a thing except in seif-deferse, and as a very last resort. The sword in German officialdom is a mere badge—a barbaric one, indeed, yet a badge of office rather than a weapon. The Women of Magdeburs. This splendid city, which has so little that is picturesque to recommend it to the traveler, hieing hither and thither “strange places for to see," is more celebrated for the domesticity and all-around goodness than for the beauty of its wemen. Whose fault is it that the lines of beau- ty are wanting in the good women of Magdeburg? Do you maintain, with your right arm and right royal thirst, that the carrying of hundred weights by means of wooden yoke, or the slinging of great baskets on the backs of women, is condu- cive to gracefulness? Does the almost con- stant straining of muscles while engaged in labor such as should be men’s, or rather that of draft horses, necessarily produce the softly curved lines, the sweetness of expression that we call womanly beauty? What I am trying to get at is this: The absence of comeliness is only an effect. Hard labor and homeliness go hand in hand. The women of Magdeburg don’t all wear heavy wooden yokes; they don't all stagger under great high-laden bas- kets strapped to their backs, or drag, with the afd of the dogs,cumbrous hand-wagons. No, not even a majority of them; but thou- sands of them do these very things, and a pitiable sight it is. It may not be fair to single out Magdeburg. The same con- ditions, as 1 judge from what I have seen and have been told, exist in nearly every part of the continent. But as this part of Prussia, a province conquered from the kingdom of Saxony, has to a degree be- come an isolated count as far as inter- marriage with other districts is concerned, the influence of extra-laborious occupa- tions on the part of women is apparent in an unusually painful degree. In fact, the eft: of excessive labor is seen in the Physique of the general community. The manual exertion that is undergone by the common people of this district may pro- duce brawn, but it doesn’t evolve the lines of beauty to eny alarming extent. The men and women have strong faces, fea- tures full of character, but they look as if molded of iron—pig iron. In Magdeburg the women do work that in America would provoke strikes among the commonest laborers, while the men are yoked as horses might be if there were no societies for the prevention of cruelty to animals in the United States. What is the cause of all this? Listen to the clanging of the sabers! Right about face! March! The well-to-do women of this city ar lady-like in their demeanor, and tastefully at times almost richly, dressed. If one can contemplate the armonies of p adornment with pleasurable emotio industry incidental to their attainment should perhaps commend itself to one’s admiration, CHARLES LEDERER. COMFORTABLE PEOPLE. They Know What to Do and Say at the Right T: From Harper's Bazar. It is often said that it takes all sorts of people to make the world, and ef the many varieties, to the credit of human nature be it spoken, not the least numerous is the comfortable or comfort-making specie ‘These people are to be found everywhe: doing their duty in such a sweet, modest fashion that or ly analyzes the ele meats which make up their attractiven| even while basking in the warm glow their kindnes: ing how good and 5 th them. » endowed with the rare gift of ing what to say and what to do at right time and in the right way. er jar upon one ties nor give the impression that the anxiously on the watch to help, which lat- ter is often too apt to produc a feeli the that they ne in what comfortable people do, it is quite as much in what they judicio’ leave undone, that their pecutia tive and decided et it may thoroughly bed by negatives. They never fret and fume over the inevitable, they make no arrogant pretensions, and naturally therefore they indulge in no harsh strictures, no ungentle criticisms. They are equally free from that distressing mock-ino which practices a morbid selt-intrespection, and be ws the results of the process on a smail public too bored and indifferent to appreciate the confi- dences. They never attudinize as martyrs, no matter how great the make, their self-cffacement b ne that it is truly invisible. stroke one the wrong w dulg: haps most intolerable of the small foes to the peace of the household, while the dis- agrecableness inflicted by’ those who do practice the irritating art is borne with such placidity that the sharp tongues are reduced to silence through very shame. as is be fully and ing s They never nor do they in- in nagging, that annoying and per- gen- My Playmates. Eugene Field in Chicago Record. The wind comes whispeing to me of the country cool = blackbirds chattering beside a oedy Tt brings me soothing fancies ef the homestead on the hill. And I hear thrush’s evening song and the robin's morning trill; So I fall to thinking tenderly of those I used to how Where the sassafras and snakeroot and checker- berries grow. What has become of Ezra Marsh who lved on Baker's hill? And what has become ot Noble Pratt whose father kept the mill? And what has become’ of Lizzie Crum and Anastasia And of Roxie Root who ‘tended school in Boston for a spell? They were the boys and they the girls who shared my youthful p) They do not answer to my call! My piaymates— where are they? What, has become of Levi and his ttle brother Who lived n rs a T'd like to see Throw door to where we lived some forty the Newton boys and Quincy Adams And Hepsy “Hall and Ella Cowles who spelled the hole school down! And Gracle Sith, the Cutler boys, Leander Snow and Who I am sure would answer could they only hear my call! Ta Uke to see Bill Warner and the Conkey boys again And talk about the times we used to wish that we were men! And one—T shall not name her—could I see her gentle face hear her girlish treble in this distant, lonely place! Howers and hopes of springtime—they per- ished long ago the garden where they blossomed is white with winter snow. And ‘The And © cottage neath the maples, have you seen those girls ai ys That but a little while ago made, oh! such pleas- ant nolse? © trees, and hills, and brooks, and lanes, and meadows, do you know Where I shall find iy little friends of forty years You see I'm old and weary, and I've traveled Jone and far! I'm looking for my playmates—I wonder where they aye! ++ On the Gallery Stairs. From the Roxbury Gazette. Tim Biffam (leaving theater gallery)—“Say, what did you think of that soprano singer that came on in the second act?” Poor musician—“Pretty good; only she was a little bit weak in the upper register.” Tim Biffam—“Think so? Well, I guess ou’re right; but, say, she was great in the lower radiator, wasn’t she?” ——se0———____ Completing the Definition. From Puck. Johnny—“Papa, isn’t a presentiment a sort of feeling that something is going to happen?” 5 Papa—‘Yes; a feeling which you seldom hear about until the thing has happened.” oP | HOKE SMITH TALKS Some Phases of the South’s Material Development, HIS VIEWS ON THE -NEGRO QUESTION Colored People Don't Want Social Equality, the Secretary Says. THE SILVER SENTIMENT - (Copyright, 1895.) OKE SMITH, SEC- Hz of the Inte- rior, has made a number of visits to Georgia during the past few weeks. His eyes have been open- ed by the Atlanta ex- position, and he ove! flows with enthu- siasm about the south and its won- derful development. I called upon him at the Interior Depart- ment the otner day, and with a single ques- tion, brought out enthusiastic information about the south, “If what you sey is true,” I asked, “why don’t the south encourage immigration? Why ts it that the west gets all the emi- grants?” “The tide of emigration has been toward the west on account of the public lands and the railroads. The big western roads have had large tracts of land to sell, and they have discriminated in favor of that sec- tion. This is now somewhat changed. The public lands of the west have been largely taken up, and our southern railroads are helping us. As to our not wanting immi- grants, that is not true. We are now do- ing all we can to get them. Ex-Governor Northern now at the head of an immi- gration bureau for Georgia, and he is push- ing the interests of the state in all parts af the world. Coionies are being formed all over Georgia, and we are bringing people there from Germany and 3 nd. One scheme is to organize a colony of Union solders in the southern part of the state. Hundreds of thousands of acres have been set apart for it, and Vamtoid about 10,006 old soldiers from Indfana/and Mlinois are gcing to settle upon these lands.” i r Keep Away From the Blacks. How about the conditian of these imuni- ants when they get there? How do you pat them? Will they be your equals so- Ny and politically? Can they vote 1 Secretary Smith. “We will be glal to welcome them and to fraternize with them. Th an vote as they like, and po one will urb them. As to social pectable man will be orgia, and the hospitality south will be thrown open to him. Of course we draw the line on the negro. If a man asks negroes to his house and to ner table, and makes his friendshins among them; if he visits the sof negroes and fraternizes with as his social équals, you can’t ex- pect this to be overlooked.”” The Negro Problem. “How about the negro problem, Mr. Sec- retary?” “I don’t think there is any negro prob- lem,” replied the Secretary of the Interior. “Such a problem as there seemed to be bas |}- settled itself, and it would never have ex- sted had it not been for the sectional utter- ances of the north, and for a small party of a certain class of whites—and that not the most respectable class—in the south. The regroes and the whites are perfectly har- monious in the scuth. The white people are willing and anxious to do all they can to better the moral and intellectual condi- tion of the negro, and they are doing it. The negro is rapidly advancing. He is acquiring property, and he makes a good citizen.” “Does he show any Inclination toward emigration? Does he want to go back to Africa?” ‘0; he is doing well, end he is perfectly sfied.”” ‘ow about his political rights?” “He votes with the best class of the whites. They are his friends, and he knows it. Cleveland's first ¢lection showed him that his rights were as safe under a demo- cratic -as under a republican administra- sat tion. The result is the negro vote is di- vided between the parties, and he now votes «s ke pleases.”” The Solid South, “How about the solid south, Mr. Secre- tary? Will it always be solid? Is it al- ways to be an empire belonging to the democratic party?” “As long as the differences between the democratic and republican parties continue, and these two parties remain the leading enes of the United States, I do not see how it can be otherwise. The interests of the scuth are against the policy and principles of the republican party. They lie in the direction of a low tariff. As long as the republican party represents protection the south will b- solid.” The Future ef the Negro. “Speaking again about the negro, Mr. Secretary; what is to be his sovial future?” “It will be along the lines of his own race,” replied Mr. Smith. “Neither he nor the white man wants to’mix their blood. They do not desire to. come together on the lines of social equality. There is a large class of negroes, in fact, Who want no so- cial or marital alliances with the whites. They pride themselves upon their pure Af- rican blood and the keeping it pure. They do not want the whites in their churches, nor their schocls, and. some of their churches will not allgw white preachers in their pulpits. This 18 the case with the African Methodist Church. As to white teachers in the negro, schools, when I was on the school board ‘of ‘Atlanta I advo- cated that none but negr@ teachers be em- ployed in negro schobls..I did not think it right that a bright white girl should ecmpetg with the educated negro for such places. I thought the chances were in favor of the whites, and that it would be better for the development of the negroes to have teachers of their own color. The result is that we now have none but negroes teach- ing in the negro schools.” A Mahogany Race Undesirable. “But, Mr. Secretary, can you keep the races apart? As the colored people grow in wealth and education, will they not come together? Wiil there not be a union cf the races in the future, a grand manogany of the white and the black?” “A debased mahogany,,I should say,” re- plied the Secretary. “N9, I do not think that will ever come to pass. The races will keep apart. It is better for both that they should do so.” “Will there ever be a social equality?” “No, I think not. I don’t think it best for either race.” “You say they are now kept apart in the churches and in the schools of the south?” “Yes, it is their desire, as well as ours. “How about the railroad cars?” “There are separate cars for the negroes on some of the southern railroads, but the whites are not permitted to enter the negro cars, and can be ordered out just as the negroes can be ordered out of the white cars.”” A Kingdom of Cotton Mills. “How about the manufactures of the south? Are they increasing?” “Yes, indeed,” replied Secretary Smith. “The country is growing very rapidly in a manufacturing way. Cotton factories are springing up everywhere, and I understand that some of them are making as high as twenty per cent a year. There is no reason why the south should not manufacture all its own cotton instead of exporting it_ to New England and Europe. There is a dif- ference of seven per cent on the value of the cotton as baled and sold in the Georgia markets and its value in Liverpool, and this seven per cent alone would make enough of a margin to pay for its manufacture in Georgia. The ference of a half a cent a pound of profit in the value of cotton would make five per cent, and in these days when capital is going begging that is a fair profit, to say nothing of the fifteen and twenty yer cent which some of the factories say they are making.” Silver vs. Confederate Script. “How about the silver question? You have been making speeches throughout the south upon it. “Yes, I have made some,’ replied Secre- tary Smith. “The silver sentiment of the south has been exaggerated. The better sentiment of the people is in favor of sound money. It is the easier for them to see the dangers of any inflated currency through their experience with confederate money. When the war began all of our notes were good for face value, as we thought the confederate states government would be able to pay them in gold. But as the war went on, and it became impossible for the treasury to give something of the actual value for them, they depreciated and fell, At first the reduction was small, but it steadily increased until men paid $500 for a saucer of ice cream or for a cigar. I had in my audiences men who possessed large amounts of this money. It represented to many of them actual losses. It is, of course, worth nothing now, and it was not hard to draw the comparison between it and free silver. Another ex- ample I used was fhat of a German, who lived in my state, and who coined on his own account gold when this confederate worthless money was circulating. I showed them that his stamp upon the gold gave It circulation because it was gold, and that though he is dead, his coins are still worth their face value.” “How about the Nicaraugua canal? That would be of great value to the south, would it not?” Yes,” replied the Secretary. “But 1 don’t think I ought to give any expression upon it until we get the report of the com- mission that was sent down there to inves- tigate its practicability. “This is the only question. If it is mechanically possible, without too great an expense, it should by all means be built. It would be of im- mense value, not only to the south, but to the whole country. FRANK G. CARPENTER. see. A RAILWAY It is Not Which is the Most Objectionable. Fiem Harper's Bazar® The sign (0 Smoking Allowed” is eon- spicuous in the waiting rooms of our ferries and elevated road stations. On our rail- way trains there is always a smoking car attached, to which he who desires to enjoy cigar, cigarette or pipe may repair. The man who weuld attempt to smoke In cne of the coaches reserved for general use wculd be promptly reprimanded by conduct- or or brakeman, and regarded by all the women present as an unmannerly brute. To many wonén tobacco smoke is offen- ive. To her who is so unfortunate is to Possess a sensitive stomach there ex'sts in car and ferry boat a still greater nuisance than the “filthy weed.” That is, at least, kept out of her way. The other and greater pest is indulged in by those of her own sex, and is consequently allow. _ It is the habit, irrepressible and all-pervas- ive, of eating in public conveyances. On a warm day in summer, or on winter days, when the windows and doors of the rail- way car are closed tightly and when the steampipes have sent the mercury up to seventy-five, then it is that orange peel end peppermint give forth a smell that is f4 from goodly, and make the owner of a del. cate diaphragm wish that she might seek shelter in the smoking car, where there are men who do not, as a rule, eat except at eating hours. The car is full and hot. By the window sits the lady who hates railway travel, as it often nauseates her slightly. Her seat is shared by a stout woman whose small boy sits upon her maternal lap. The starting of the train {s the signal for the mother to asket from which she draws two of ginger-bread—one for Johnny, one for herself. These are followed by two huge red bananas, these by oranges, disgust- ngly juicy, and the whole repast is capped by a pint of peanuts and a paper of sticky peppermint candy. The car gets hotter, the train swings sickeningly, the combined odor of coal gas and eatabies makes the air sti- fling, and the victim of the vile combination reaches her destination with a sick headache that puts her to bed—prostrated but resent- ful. Evidently there are other nuisanc2s be- sides tobacco, and the perpetrators thereof are not men. ——_++e-. THE BRIDEGROOM SAID, «I po.» He Knew That Was the Important Part of the Ceremony, From the Kansas City Star. As during the months of October and November weddings follow each other in quick succession, it might be well for the prospective groom of the coming days to see to it that he does not make the mistake that a nervous groom made not long since. Ajthough -vell aware of the fact that the guests all observe the bride and ignore the groom, nevertheless he is generally wor- ried, and wonders jf he’ will answer all questions correctly. At one of the Kansas City weddings each detail of the ceremony had been carefully and studiously gone over. They, the happy couple, were positive that not a’single mis- take could occur to mar the stately cere- mony in which they were to be the prin- cipais. ‘The expected guests waited in the parlor decked with costly flewers and vine-fes- tooned for the bridal party to enter. They came slowly down the Stairway, across the reception room, and at last stood before the officiating minister. Sweetly conscious was the bride of the sclemn service, nervous was the groom as he stood with eyes gazing intently at his fair bride's pastor. After the usual kindly words of advice, the pastor commenced the services by ask- ing the groom: “You, Edward, declare, in the presence of Gcd, that you do not know any reason, by precontract, or otherwise, why you may not Jawfully marry Louise, whom you hoid by the right hand?” ‘W'th his hand clasping tenderly the hand of his bride, he murmured, “I do.” Quickly, but in very low tone, the pastor prompted him by saying: “I do not.” ‘The dazed groom modestly responded by repeating the pastor’s words, and not un- til then did he realize that he had not yet reached that most pleasing part of the ceremony in which he was to say “I do,’ and “do” it properly. 10+ Avoid Worry. From the Somerville Journal. It doesn’t pay to worry. Have a good time yourself, and let the other fellows do all the worrying. If you follow this advice strictly, the chances* are that they will have some worrying to do. +. eee. —- -__ He Wanted to Know. From Puck. Little Clarence—“‘Pa?” Mr. Callipers—“That will do, my son! I haven’t time to listen to any more of your lish questions.” fopittie ‘Clarence—"“But this one isn’t fool- ish, pa; I only wanted to ask you why watermelons don't grow with handles on *em?” ++ Invaluable. From Truth. Mrs. Witherby—“What a great aid Mr. Van Wicket must have been at your re- ception: Mrs. Von Blumer—“Indeed he was.” Mrs. Witherby—“I understand that he in- troduced you to most of your guests. HERE’S A WHOLE FAMILY. Husband, Wife and Children Made Well by Paine’s Celery Compound, The pre-eminence of Paine's celery compound over all other remedies could not be better illus- trated than in the case of the Turney family at St. Anthony, Iowa. Mrs. Turney had recovered her health by the use of Paine’s celery compound. She had suffered from a variety of ills, all due to a nervous system improperly nourished. As frequently happens the entire family, over- come perhaps by anxiety and care, began to feel “run down’ and to suffer with the hardest disease in the world to diagnosis—the trouble they have when they say: “Doctor, I don’t feel well The advice of their Physicians to use Paine’s celery compound, the one known remedy that re- stores lost nervous energy, creates an appetite, purifies the blood and builds up the strength of the entire system, was followed. Mrs. Turney, in a letter to Wells & Richardson Co., who pre- pare the remedy, soon wrote as follow! “My husband and three ebildren were as greatly benefited by the use of Paine's celery compound as I was after an unusually hard siege of the grip, with variations of the discase. We regard the compound as a most remarkable remedy.” As the winter comes on many people will begin to suffer from debility, and lack of rallying powers after a slight chill or cold. Their real trouble is a run-down condition of the nerves and blood, and Paine's celery compound, as in the case of Mrs. Turney and her family, will make them well again. Rheumatism and neuralgia too, grow more dan- gerous and more painful with cold weather. This increased pain points to increased activity, of these disorders. There is positive danger in-allowing the system to meet the perils of winter handicapped by rheu- matism and neuralgia, or any disease that comes from poor blood and bad nerves. There is the same certainty of getting rid of these two diseases that there is of a complete recovery from sleeplessness, nervous weakness, hys- teria, or any other result of impoverished nerves and blood. Physicians today get rid of rheumatism and neuralgia as they do sleeplessness, melancholia and yervous dyspepsia by building up the system and supporting its delicate nerve parts with Paine’s celery compound. Paine's celery compound restores vitality to tired nerves; it feeds every tissue of the body when un- usual waste has reduced the welght and strength of the body, as is frequently the case at the close of the heated season. It gives new appetite, and Keeps every part of the body, nerves and blood so well nourished that the nervous, exhausted, tired, “run down" feeling from worry and hard work soon disappears. Try it. D TO WAIT HIS TURN. A Large List of Invitations to Take Patt in Duels. From the Knoxville Journal, In the days of Gen. Sam Houston, duel- ing was much more common than now. After removing to Texas, Gen. Sain Hous- ton happened to give offense to a political opponent, who felt his honor disfigured to such an extent that he sent a challenge to Houston. The bearer of the challenge was received with courtly civility. He handed the written challenge to Gen. Houston, who read it, and taking up his pen, wrote sgmething across the back of the folded paper and placed it in a pigeonhole of his desk. He then went on to entertain the bearer of the challenge with the pleasant conversation for which he was noted. Af- ter a time the man began to grow impa- tient. and reminding the general of the challenge, asked him if he was going to reply. “Oh reply “Well, are you going to accept the chal- lenge of my friend?” “Certainly I will accept it.” “Will you fix the date for tomorrow?” “No, not tomorrow.’ “Next day?” ‘No, not the next day, eit! ‘Well, will you fix a date?’ ‘No, I am not able now to fix a date. You saw me number your friend's note; it is No. 49. There are forty-eight other blanked scoundrels ahead of your friend, and I must take them in turn. As soon as I have killed them off, I will attend to your friend; but he will have to wait until his turn comes.” The bearer of the challenge. bowed him- self out: but of course his friend’s turn never came, and it is not probable that he, was anxious for it to come. ——_—_+e+ They Got There. From the New York Weekly. John (sheepishly)—“I—I s’pose you'll be gittin’ married some time. Betty (with a frightened air)—“Oh, I—I guess not.”” John—‘'Mebby I'll git married some time.” Betty—Mebby.”” John—‘‘Mebby at the same tim Betty—“‘Wouldn’t it be awful, John, if the minister should make a mistake an’ marry us to each other?” John: I shouldn't mind.” Bett, ‘No—ne:ther should I.” ‘coe Giving Children Names. From the Loutsville Post. There is an awful warning to those parents who continue to name children after their relatives. Up in Knott county, on Caney creek, the ‘practice has been carried to ex- cess, and the result is that the Sloan family numbers among its members the following: Big Isom Sloan, Hard’s Isom, Son's Isom, lsom’s Isom, Jailer Isom, Sorrel Head Isom, Jim's Isom, Little Isom, Andy’s Isom, Summ’'s Isom, Jimbo’s Isom, Big Isom’s Isom and Sorrel Head Isom\’s Isom.. yes,” said Houston, “I am going to might both git married MAN WHO ATE SINS. Until Recent Years He Took Part im Welsh Funerals. From the London Exchange. The principality of Wales has within live ing memory possessed an official known as the “‘sin-eater.” It was the practice for a relative—usually a woman—to put on the breast of a deceased person a quantity of bread and cheese and beer, and the sin-eater was sent for to consume them and to pro- nounce the everlasting rest of the departed. It was believed that in doing this he ab- solutely ate and appropriated to himself the sins symbolized by the viands, and thereby. prevented their disturbing the repose of the sinner who had committed them. Such an arrangement would obviously leave nothing to be desired on the one side, but how it worked on the other side we are not told. What was supposed to be the condition of this spiritual undertaker after the ceremony was concluded? Did his “appropriation” of the dead man’s sins imply a sort of moral assimilation of them, answering to his Physical assimilation of the bread and cheese? The question would obviously be one of some importance to a sin-eater in large practice. If the responsibilities of his profession were as great as they would ap- Pear to have been on this hypothesis he would need to retire from it early and to devote a considerable portion of his closing years to repentance and good works. Again, it is natural to ask what happened at the decease of a popular or “fashio: able” sin-eater. Would any one among his professional brethren undertake to eat his sins, even in the first flush of satisfaction produced by stepping Irito his shoes. If so, then, indced, has the epithet of “gallan' been rightly bestowed upon little Wales. It is as though on® doctor- succeeding to another’s practice should consent to assume the moral responsibility for his late col- league's treatment of all his deceased pa- tients, in addition to his own similar bur- dens. We yield to none in admiration. of the quiet and homely heroism of the medi- cal profession, but we doubt whether it Would enable them to face such an ordeal as this, ———_+e+_____ It Stood the Test. From Tid-Bits. A public vriter had a partition wall Sxea up in his study, and ordered the carpenter to make it in such a way that no sound could penetrate through it. - “The best thing will be to fill it in with shavings,” said the man, and set to work, When he had finished, his employer went and stood on one side of the partition an — out to the man who was on the othes s.de: ‘Do you hear me, Jantke?” “No, sir!” was the prompt reply. A Common Experience. From Pick Me Up. She—“I really don’t think I shall take part again”in theatricals; I always feel at though I were making a fool of myself. He—“Oh, everybody thinks that!” McCLURE'S # | MAGAZINE For November will contain the first chapters of The New and Superbly Illustrated Life of Abraham Lincoln Relating to his childhood in Kentucky and the fourteen years he lived in Indiana; fresh recollections of people now living who knew him then; forty portraits and pictures; five important and little- known portraits of Lincoln, scenes of his early life, and the Only Early Portrait of Lincoin showing him as a young man with a handsome unwrirkkled face. This remarkable picture is now first published. This life will be superbly illustrated: there will be over 300 Lincoln Pictures and Portraits including over forty portraits of Lincoln (an almost complete collec- tion). Also portraits of his associates at different periods of his life, and a most extensive collection of the scenes of his life. 7 New Material about Lincoln Gathered at first hand, will appear in every article, and there will be contributions on important periods by men of national fame who were close to Lincoln. Under the editorship of Miss Tarbell, it is proposed to make this the best short life of Lincoln and the most lavishly illustrated life ever published. 10 Cents a Copy For Sale by all Newsdealers. $1.00 a Year S. S. McCLURE, Ltd., 3° LAAVERTEELACE.