Evening Star Newspaper, October 27, 1877, Page 3

THE TEN LITTLE GRASSHOPPERS. SOME KECOLE MUS WARD. The beautifnl city of Cleveland, said the most teautiful city in the Unitel M+ bas at diffrent times the lew distinguishet ; abode of wot a Cot. Soha @ mansion to ® i ever serib! grarumar. He masa Stone, 3 fares sumptuonsly robably be Known no more of “them Iterary fellers. angel father-ti-law, mayhay in-law too, wh dow 4 the throne. Mit the thought that ore Verves in bad day every me and fortum onorable Ep seopal nots, used to be # local repe nd it is said in those unreg: d goon 4 “lark” with aoy of as & newspaper reporier, ant now he isa Bishop! It is enough to tak» ‘sbreath away. We don’t have to loss our breath very often that way, however. Then there, too, was “Artemus War!” (Cha. *. Brown), gentie, genial sonl—t's2 funniest man that was ever in America. H> has been dead over ten years, yet he quoted more than other American ham» ists—except, perhaps, Mark Twain. His ven Was that of the broadest burlesque, tipped al- Ways with sarcasm, and somehow his quaint sayings have this peculiarity about them — that they are not forgotten like other people « fanny sayings. How many times has it o-- curred to every man tosay ‘I'm like Arte mus Ward; I don’t_mind sacrificing all my wife's relations.’ Who has forgotten the in- imitable letter wherein the Great American Showman staid all sight in the Shaker vil Jage, and the pretty Snakeresses “said nay and we pay or the ludicrous visit to Brigham Yo: when the eyes of Artemus were edified by the sight of ninety-five pairs of long stockings on the clothes line tn the back yard; or the button bursting descrip- Uon of how the showman attempted to -‘re- construct betsy Almost the first bit of humor he ever attempted Is as funny as any- thing that followed. It ts mentioned in an obituary notice ef Artemus, written by Mr. George Hoyt, of the Cleveland Plain Deater, an intimate friend of the humorist. It was blished In B. P. Shillab 1's “Car, nd was a description of a country Fourth of July celebration. The battle of Yorktown ‘Was celebrated over again tn mimte tight, by Villagers Cressed up as British and Conti- nebtal soldiers, bul before the day was over Washington got drunk and engazed tn a fist Hight with Cornwaliis, who gave Lim ap awful thrashiog. It is worth a pilgrimage to Cleveland bear old persona! friends revive thetr reco lections of Artemus Ward. It was wail: associate editor in the Plaia Dealer office that he first tx came known to fame. The old office wherein he used to write bis fanay Artemus Ward papers bas been parily torn away, and the Lewspaper itself removed to & Lew building, but there are st vera! persons co! hi the paper who kuew and apprecis e great humort ; Mr. Heyt above mentioned. now as Of the editors of Pian sketched the iron iNbostrated Uh % the old cuts P snop of [iii er on the Plaia yellow ol comical deseriptio: lion whieh met in Ci Artemus Ward described this Convention if it bad been a circus, Mr. Hoyt making the pictures to correspond. Artemus seems to have had the faculty of attaching people to himself in a remarkable degree. He was sensitive of soul and slight of frame, and had the womauly tempera- ment. He had the delicate, fair hand of a woman, too, the most beauliful hand the €ver saw, bis friends say. He liked lad society desperately in love with any woman. His Was the nature of the typical Bohemian, Without the Bohemian’s coarser, more oTea- Bive traits. A statuetie of him, representing Well the droll, inqui-itive nose and thin, hu- morous face of the man, adoras the editor's room in the Main Dealer office. Afier the but was never known to be very death of Ward, bis friends of the Savaze | aa | Club, in London, bad eleven of these st: ettes made. A Cleveland gentleman trav ing in England brought this one home wit him, and presented ti to Mr. Hoyt. It is the bs 4 one in America. r. Armstrong, the proprietor of the 7 Dealer, remembers the humorist more the twenty years ago. Jt was pri after his appearance in Unlo. Frown was then a journeyman Wandering type-setter, tra newspaper office re aud there w 5 ” itor of a sinail Gato, and into this e the vably not loag Charles F printer, a one the gawkiest. greenest looking young t J ever set eyes ou.” The friends who loved him best all say the me. Inafier times, when he appeared w nis lecture audienees in handsome evening dress, with a diamond riog upon his beaut! ful band, there was certainly no trace ei of awkwardness or sloveuly dress about him, but in those early years all his acqnatntance agree that he was as “gawky” aud slouchy as a young man could well b Ariemus worked as compositor in the Tin ¢ffice awhile, and at length wandered ou to | jo. Therebe worked as a compositor again,in the Toledo Commercial offive, but the editor of that paper discovered his comic vein, and gave him # place as reporter. His funy sayings in the Qummercial atiracted the hotice ci Mr.Gray, of the Cleveland Pam Decier. Be «rote to Brown. and offer- ed bim a place on the Pain Dealer at 810 a week. The offer was accepted at on & week was probably more than U who was alverward to make people laugh theme! ves into hyste: t, had ever earned betore. went to Cleveland He gladly, and the yellow, old Plain Dealer be- fore mentio: torial page aud propr bas at the head of its edi- ar Brown, associate er Artemus Ward was lerent of hum~: di with @ ceriata sucezedel Charles t Va wy ® the Amertean peo Tist hal m short-lived period many forlorn attemp ple to be funny. Tue sitonal a Deoler himself enjoyed them better than A* he sat wri When the funpy idea struck him he wou! &@ guilaw which seemed to sbake him from bis heels upward. Hesat In an arm chair, alWays With his left leg swung over the arm Of bis cbair. When =o e came, he used to pound the table with bis fst, slap the long thin leg that hung over the chatr, and ex mg egg laughter. Then he would say to r. Hoy ‘Come here, Gcorge, let me read you some- suing fap was oe wae Ses babit to share a sood =, Ane] sympathy as if be had been a woman, and les in office at ouce. ches," and ouher | bow, in far too | t- bag,” | es-—-J. W. Gray, editor ! laagh wis | seemed to stand as much tn need of 1 le lauched nearly @ time he was writing. © a!) Artemus Ward's friends, however— Be wrote rather rapidiy, aod writieg seenel wo come easy to him. the end he had more then almost any man tn | Americe—the one friend who cherishes him ‘With a remembrance as (ender as that one der, familiarly known in Cleveland as ack” Ryder. He met Artemas Ward In ahd Was his constant companion from time until he went to take charge of Mr. Ryder was bis az afterwards, during the tour in which he jec- man R that tured faved plung Mr stand Vanity Fair ip "61 into which thougutiess friends wou He WAS A resiless Slee] T: Omany a time he us 2or So'elock at nigat, an say to me, ‘Eean't IT must se something tuany,’ ke me getup and dress ant co ita, and we would roam the stree:« t, looking for som > Lalways went with him when Tam glad I did,” said this he would out wh nd down in the ni thing funey. be wanted me to. for his dead lady-love, 1s Mr. on the Mormons. bim from a good deal of di et bim,” said Mr. Ryder. gently. Ryder seems to have been the one Strovg spirit to whom the sensitive soul of | Artemus Ward clung for ill fitt-d to take care of himself. land the two friends were room mates. said Mr. Ry- to wake ine up at In C) , ates. ave observed many people in ntinued Mr. Ry “ant J. rovection, he by And it pleases me to think, now, that I pation 6 leve aol my moastsay this, that T never met a man wao possesse | end faseinations that Ariemus Ward His sot, slow votee, and tie slight, natural hesitation of his mauner, helped to | make him trresisibly charming ‘in society. | Ladies found bim entirely faseinating * « Did he use to get love letters from wo men. thos! ke Edwin Booth, and Rigno!d, into raptures ith and “ Yes,agreat many. But there was this peeuliarity about them: The ladies wo wrote letters to Artemus Ward were ladies who had what is rather rare among women, astrong humorous sense. Ladi humorous senre went the over Artemus.Ward and his lectures. And the letters comic he got from them disp| side. ved nsually a I remember one in particular which gave the poor fetlow as much fun as anything ever did in bts life. “ He lectured on the Mormons one hundred nigh's bis wen Way of ad verti at Dolworth Hall, New York. To advertise his Dodworth Hall lectur: diresse ishe doe edt two men | ke Indians Hehad ng. as well of doing tem off with plag bate and um: brellas, and had them parade up and down in tront of Dodworth Hall in daytime. The ladicrousness of the thing took the New Yorkers by storm, and they went in throngs to the hall every night. “It was during this time that he got the funny tained in the many anyth you remar awfol young lady had bui tending Arteraus Ward's lectures. capital hit,and I never saw Ward enjoy He wrote to the brigat letter from the young laity. It & long bill. a ‘8 Wardrobe, as item! ih. hooks and ey ing more. con- s long as @ page of fools - | cap—ehurged up against Artemus Ward, for destroying the lady Hae There were twenty-four battons, so Many pairs of corset stays and laces, so ‘8, and so on, which the and broken while at- It wasa lady, and they corresponded for some ume” as it true that his lectures succeeded so ‘Kably from the very first?” bard Ume, to get started. He lect: “It was not true. He hada hard time, an ured in the smalier couutry towns at first, and went along for a year or two, Lene Pomona es | expenses. He didn’t have full con! jene: bis own ability at first, and he was s0 se si. tive that any dis depressed him for days. and made ragement of his lecture fairly sick. He never could do as some fa- mous public men do whom i’ve knowa— stand at the exit asan audience passei out, and hear the remarks that were made about leeture: , it depressed tim. His aim io life was to remernng tag “4 laugh, and when they didn’t laugh at his im beyond measure. He never showed his depression, however, pot worked on bis audience desperately. they d dn’t laugh @ joke. he woul If pre- | tend to think they did not anderstand it, and would go over ttall point to explain ner, and when at las ain, stopping ate very most ludicrous roan - the long expected gig- | gle rippled over bis audience, he would re thoug! o ay nothir ht that would bring you!” { Ward that have sprung up mark to them, with solemn gravity: ‘I “And to think of the school of vile imita- lover country,” said Mr. Ryder, emphatically. il our preterded humorists in America ¥ but tmitators and placiarists of Ar'emusWard. Eli Pergins is the very worst fraud of all,” said he, with sometates which sound: ed Wrathful in his tones. “Eli Perkins goes#round the country lecturing and trying to imitate Ward's manner; and that is not the Worst thing he does, © her. He takes whole paragraphs and pazes bodily out of Ward's lectar's and repeats them’ for his He had the tmpudence to do this right ow | here and I font tisa { te it he Lonth He hs Dear J trod tra tne akes me son di that wien he passed through thatto n Cleveland, among Ward's f sald then toour peopl you recognize that? D>.'t you k Flemun VW ‘sleccure, word for w: cant Woat J can’t en dto make him popuiar, cr Ubi & that belped was bh ad the t retentive memory of ever knew. If he had been mere, +d to& man, in any town where he ing. be would remember him so f no ord? dare “Arterons Ward’s greatest fiult was his recht = generosity,” continued Mr. Ryder. “ I suppose is memory. any 7 was well nagain, nh it were years after, be woul) call tae man 'y pame and shake hands with him, exactl) ,” said Mr. Ryder, “as if he nad been thinking of him ever since he saw him the other time. It made folks fee! as If he re- , Barded each one of them as his particular | friend , and it flattered them. « He never did anything like anybody else. One cay he came to me here in Cleveland urd asked to see me the private offic, a would! the fact is, I'm dead broke. I rivately. We went Ward ‘said:— J. in’t like to tell anybod: jon’t Want into ack. I but you, but you to tell your brother, but I wish you would let me take your watch and chain to pawn, so I can raise some money on them.’ « t dide’t like to do it much, as you may sup- pose. I offered to get some money for him, | 4/1 could spare at that time, but he said no. He desired es; sation pa wu broker’ tally to experience the ng bis wal and chain shop. of lea In the sen- aia I gave up tohis whim, at last, as I did to most of Ward's whims, in fact, aod let him take the watch. at ternoon I was greatly surprised to receive a packa 0 containing a handsome, brand new Wateh and chain, in return for my old one. Ward had wished to make me a present of a wateh, and bad taken that way to do It. It was just like him.’ ” So it was. married, on one occasion, Wad Winsh presi howev both presi In 165 lecture to Ei irg at first, the London Punch, He could not maBe things work to his satisfaction at once. A cheracteristic incident happened, how- ever, which was the making of Artemas Ward | friend front slight don. Hall. cnree bumo! ey | was de | home aud paid him. est period of tne bumorist’s muca-checxered wrote, I think,” said Mr. Ryder. To this faithful friend the gen: A friend of the humorist and Arte: sent the fair bride bottle of ow’s Soothing Syrup as a wed He followed ‘it up immedia’ er, with a handsome silver set, 18 were ‘jast like him ” OOK ne pascorama and Mor land. however, bat wrote awhil in London. He was standing wi ne Fainy night,on the sidewal a London théater. oO the man's Who but Artemus Ward would have thought of it? The fun of thething was simply ineffable. John Ball gave a roar of laughter which | fairly shook the street; the big, barly rowdy growled, bung his head and sneaked o!f, and Artemus Ward's foctane was made. Loadon inirly carried the slight lule American apon her shoulders after that. The story went the rounds of the newspapers, aad Artemus | opened his Mormon pavora’ was mus Mrs. ding ely, an ‘mon He did not begin lectur- ie for th a k in Ward was @ fragile man, and ashe stood there quievy, a big, burly rowdy went past him, ard brushed ‘against Artemus | Knocked him down. Artemus picked hi nself up as speedily as possible,and the crowd gathered at once to see @ quarrel. mus Ward brushed the dirt off, jumped after the man in @ second, took off bis hat, made @ profound bow and ard and Bat Arte- par- ever main Egyptian London idolized him, feasted him Undoubtedly it was tne T. leu rist wrote that it was ihe proudest in Waterford, M fair- | . While In the flower of his success, only a | Uitte time before bis untimely and lamente: ! | death, he wrote a letter to his fr Jack” Rider. the sidus Acha‘es, in Cle . « It mast have been the lus’ er he ever mo- meut of bis life. He wrote in the highest of happy spirits that he had been notiesd by the London a- ray. His seusitive nature was wrousht to itS highest pitch of exaltation. You know,” said poor, gentle Artemnns, “I wouldn't write this to anybody bat you.” ‘The next Mr. Ryder beard Artmas Ward He was buried in Keusal Green, and “«M. D. C.,” of the Commercial, was one of the pall-bearers. An executor afterwards weat | Over and brought his remaias to bis former A Cheerful Sort of Towa. Here js another great builling, whose ret brick wally, tall copo’a, and counties: win- Cows tell at once that tf is @ “factory,” bat of Seba? Our farpishings end adoralogs for the reaped harvest—in phrase, of eotin Uimmirgs and shouds. Here r+ mute al! torts of plated ornaments for the La-t bst we need, from the elaborate casket plate down to ihe silvered screws that shut oat ferever the emer. The other ring was a spl niid ametbyst, with his movogram, *A. W.,’ set tu @iamerds in the stone This ring had been given him by friends in New York. Not one “ord Was ever Leer of any of thes thires. Theor ly man probably wbo eonld | have told anything abeut them never did tell, and that was bi« agent Hiozston. Hinge ton is dend, too, snd what became of Arce mus Ward’s well carned mosey is amys- tery.” ear dead faces fri ere, As soon as he grew prosperous, the first s, Yoa thing the gentle, generous hamorist (11 was ae the hast to make bis widowed motner comforerbl hroudsiseaile?. And ic the There was Miorigage of several thousand dollars on the faim at Waterford, which he | paid off for her. He als» had a cottage a: n net go about he streets, as they dia in Solomoa’s time, the mouraing peers, New York, which he had boazat od from ther bom. frcm Frank Chanfrau. He gave that to bis y turn an honest penny in | mother, too. I: is plessant to a* An fastion. In many @suany ron | temus Ward’s mother was thu able cirenmstances before Us Life of her son ended ae had also a very capable new-pap r man, wiom Ariemus always conleuded was infinitely his superior in wit; bat those who Rnew doth Say that such Was not the fact. Bovh sons are dead row, and the mother lives aloie oa the Lome farm at Wa'erfu There has been much eealation abdont What Artemnus’ Ward's ambition for the fa ture was. He wroteto Mr Ryder that wih | what he bad earned in Londoa one more American tour would give him enough wo | feule down tn life, at least as far ax quitting the “show business” went. The aim. hope and ultimate ambition of his life was to be ravk+d among the world’s great hamocis: those who are not for a ee but for ail time. This much he had confided to Mr Ryder. Perhaps the hope may not remain wholly unfu flied. “ Did he seem to inherit his peca’ of humor from any of his ancestor “Hedid, He got it right square foom his mother. Sbe ix Artemus Werd all over again.” eid Mr Ryder. E.A. —{ Cin. Commercial. Traveling in Japan yOu mey see rel faces. red lips, laighiag bei.t over this ghastiy employmont. A by’s shroud is light, pretty work wo take imo @ neighbor's of wa afveru » aod | shining empths of qailled satia cotta trim- Ming 1S a Available ws worsted work while Wailing st @ tea party for the well-spread table. Habit was never moze a second rature than in this trlamph over delicate ferninize nerves and sensitive feminine hearis. of this babitual association with the deal obeerver with a certaiu chill. Pretty girl in @ pretty dress in the street on Sur day. at a gay dance, or langhing and singicg ata pienic, ard suddenly you over- hear a paturgl and feminine comment be- side you: ““ien't that dress of Molly's “Yes, indeed,” answers the inter- “She got it at the shop last week; it’s the staff we use for German coffin trim mings;” or, perbaps, -Toat'’s the new cloth for robes; We've just begun tou eit. Cash. aoe «s prettier than alpaca; the folds are Yon see a ar vein offer” And the appalled hearer, no! native lo Mytown, feels like the kuight in the old {fairy tiory who beheid a red mouse ran from bis y love’s beautiful lips,or the Scotch seer who beholds the shroud drawao The pedestrian power of the Japanese | up io w throat of one about to die; people is something astoni . Tax jin | fer here second sight js not necessary rikisba coolies will draw youtwenty miles | to such a vision. Close to this great miles on arun with only three or four stops emporinm for the grave the coffin of five minutes exch; and pot only men bat shop naturally stands. Piles on piles of tong women avd children sev tothiuk uothing deal boxes are ranged before the open door; of tramping twenty or guy miles a day over the roughest Kind of mountain roads with thetr 1 age tied up ina clo: which pags over the shoulder and across the breast, where they are tied. If you doa't Wantto waik you may possibly be able to get a pack-horse, on which you ride, percsed on top of your baggage, at an immense dis | Shining coffins, radiant with paint and var- nish, traverse hastly frankness; aud hearse is housed, and the graveyards, both are but a step. “In this vicinity death ts a perpetual neighbor; the skeleton isaiways at the feast, but neither crowned with flowers nor honored with libations—only igoored close at lance, as it seems, trom the ground, woh and eager by without more thoug'it or ter- your feet either curled up under you or hang- | ror than other men in other places give it, for ing down and resting in two loops of rope, in | ve all got over shuddering long ago —{ 2tose lieu of stirraps, on either sides of the anl- | Terry Cooke. in Ha October. mal’s peek in front of his fore legs, while native che naked, leads him. Bat ne: to walking, the most Popular method of traveling is cow back. The Japanese cows are not used for milking, but, like the balls, solely for beasts ofburden In the mountains nearly all merchandise is packed oa cows. can confidently affirm froin a sad experience that it is the most detestable method of trav- eling that lever heard of, except, perhaps, riding on a rail. Not only is the cow not | famed for rapidity of gait, but she has a pe- | cullar Jerk and sideways s wing that inspires | you with @ constaut fear that you will either incontinently tumble off or else be re- duced to a condition of jelly. Then the sad- dies that they use on the beas have peaks so high and sbarp and so close together tat it is quite impossible for a foreigaer of aver- age size to squeeze bimself between thein so that he is not In iomentary danger of being thrown u; one of thein. If, how- ever, you area bloated aristocrat, you will go by Kago. A kago (literally “basket” or isa round flat basket of split bam boo, about twe feet in diameter and iy inches in depth. It is slang by bamboo sup- pers under @ stout pole, perhaps ten fe-t jong, apd provided overhead with a little flat roof of bamboo, to keep off the sun. In case Of rain an oll paper covering is drawa over | the whole concern. Two men, one in froat and one behind, carry the machine on their shoulders. In the other hand they carry a | bamboo cane, and every 2 or3 rods they stop, put the cane under the pote and shift te the other shoulder. Three men go with each ago, who relieve each other at short vals, 80 that ove is alwa’s resting. Tasy travel, including stops, about one ri (two and & half miles) an hour, and the charge for three men is usuaily eighteen and uir-e- quarter cents per ri.” In the bottom of th= Budding Koses This is a simple process by which amateur | cultivators cau increase theirsiock. A suarp penkuife can do duty for a budding Katle, and the banale of @ toothbrush, if ground down smooth, will answer for a spud to ald fu lifting the bark. From the last of June to the last of August is the best time for this process, as the bark can then be more easily raised from the wood. und make a horizoatal cut across the bark, Uhrough tothe wood, but not toto it. From straight down the stem, an inch or more in Slice off the bud you desire to propagate with one cut of the penknife, catting it close to the main stalk. Now with the edge of me spud turn back the bark oo each side of Ube straight cut and insert the bud on the wood of the branch to be badded, fitttiag it jg to the crossed cut. With a bit of soft | yarn bind down the bark, leaving the point | Of the bud ex; A handfal of dampened moss must then be bound round tae stem, taking care to leave the tiny point of the bad exposed to air. In six weeks the wrappings may be removed, but ail other shoots mus: be kept from growing on the budded braach sy this meaus a rose bush can be made to a half dozen different colored roses — (Exchange. @Kaiser WILHELM — While the Emperor's Ueman, at Berlin he ts occupied anceasiugly with the duties of empire. Rising at au early hour, be receives reports from diff -r- evt officials, inspects troops, and works, with short intervals oc upted ‘in visits aod drives, until late in tue evening, when, before taking tea with her majesty, he may, basket and up the back you pat a faton, | in winter, often be seen in bis weil-kuowa wisch fa thick qailt or titn mattress made | box in the opera or the Schausplelhaus. Hos of bluecalico and stuffed with cottoa; and | mode of life is extremely =1 upie. Alinoagh Ard there is still one other re-ult | | and their deadness that strikes a new | the entrance with a certain | hand the | Take a smooth stalk | the centre of this cross-cut make another cut | length. These two cuts will resemble a T. | To Table Talk. | [From the Burlington Free Press.) The other evening the Rev. Mr. Philacter sat down to the tea-table with a very tho ight- fol air, and atiended to the wants of his | breed in a very abstracted EDUCATIONAL. ELLOCUTION— Private Lewsons « Stroction. bv Mie M K SCHRRE 1 ie Bitechent font esau estrmeamts. Tow (TBE ACADEMY OF MUSIC, tree a LAME. Director, CLOTHING. Autumn Items HAVING REFEREN« TO GENTLEMEN'S HABILIMENTS. manner. e-11p he looked up at his wife acd salt: le Apostie Pa Got sn uwfel ium broke Pres 3. REM! ie eS ee Circulars at music stores, STON FA w © | 1 ESSONS IN GERM 4 ok ie AN (nstive thet gives us a FREDERIK Moe! ip and Greek, urt 5 ad om ge of all the matertals ased 8SRUS. formeriy Ins ‘Cotes in dismal bot expressive pantomime as ity of workmanehip, thus enablicg us to give | James, Md. Circe are in bookstores ‘alist BAF he tenerty ratte hal fookel ike C8f Yositive aewurarce that all goods are New Jersey avenve aha shronk, end that the general get up is reliab # billiard-bay! w goed r gravely paused for the Lut sume? ~The A postie P: i “Baw Mre. (’Ghemmie down at Groon- baum’s this afterncon,” said the eldest taugh- ler, addressing ber mother. fame old everlastirg black silk, made o With @ vest of tilleul green silk, coat ta’l it. The pastor Tapuioa, and re- nt oa , EORGETOWN "SEMINARY, © corver Stoddard and Green streets, George. D. ©. joarting end Day Schoo! for ¥. Every (actirty for thoreagh edecatton a Latin, Elocution, Vocal and In 1/E™M FIRST. ‘SS SUIT DEPARTMENT. two have displayed om ih Tusreine PULL Dawes e KS UTES. CUT. barque pattern, overskirt made with diag- ‘a= onal feids jo front, eiged with deep fi | tea yel'ow straw bat, with biack velvet f inside the brim, and pate, blue lowers. going to Chicago.” The gool minister waited patiently, and ther, t» tones just @ shade louder than be- fore, said: or at 716 kstrns ny then M ADEMOIRET: % FINEST GRADES or ‘The Apostle Paul” — : = FRENCH, ENGLISH AND GERMAN He “« Went In swimmin’ last night with Hear -OTHS, ; eked Ocaticenen, and Ben, pop, and stepped on a clam-shell,”” . edt ee Dm, Dear RESO e, exclaimed bis youngest son; “cut my feet s> . aND THE Hours reeere df r Private Lew lcan't wear my shoe; aud please can't 1 NEWEST AND FINEST GRADES Call at LORE Ih Mo ry “7 tome thon eh . 3p ican + ok a 1. ¢ pastor informed his son that he might a YAPITON HILT SCHOOL, Nos stay away from the river, and then rwuned | FRENCH AND ENGLISH DIAGoNats, | CAG cet suthenst.. Cirewlary ane Cate- bis topic. He said: persomally or by card to “The Apostie Paul says ets im” “My teacher ts an aw/ul liar,” shout! the Secotd son; “he ays the world is as 8S an Orange, and it turos roan’ all the tin ITEM SECOND, BUSINESS SUIT DEPARTMENT. SS0N TrALIAN L t ref ” < : In cor Business Suit department we have certeia! eee oe ee Se cite. 2 the hat dsoment, a d probably the 1 reost, exhibe —— © fot mt: tds q tiew of styiea fa the District, all the novelties tn mg The mother lifted a warnin= 1 want | Plain. Fancy and Medium Patrerce are embrace!, Barred tog tm, Pinte, the boy and said, aud we father re- | made after the moet recent fashion bull-tins, aad ia | Olarionet or ot. For sumed: aS | compare favorably with ay Mos fugeire et residence, GOS Bt syreet “The Apostle Pan! says” — i ork ix the District. baited —_ Don’t Bite off twice ax much as yoa can | AUSS AD. MERRITT AND MISS BO chew,” broke out the eldest soa, reprovinz | CONCLUSIO Pe rey RE eS J | the assault of bis litte brother on a piece of ms re-open their Kuicct Seoul and Kin for cake. The pastor's face showed just a trifle | Beforeenpplyfeg yourselves with | Boys and Girls, Sept 19, at BOO Lea et of annoyance as he said in very firm, de- — ided tones: The Apostle Pani say: “There's a tly in the butter!” shrieked the youngest hopeful of the fan and a gen ‘ral laugh followed. When silence was re stored the eldest daughter, with an air of curiosity said: “Well, but pa, I really would like to know what the Apostle Paul said.” «Pats me the mustard,” sald the pastor, ALFRED School for Yonng Ladi st The duties of teincewoat Bout t HABLE SRUTHERS, MEN AND BOYS’ CLOTHIERS, octahtr Corner Seventh and D streate, | Firts Term absently parte Then the committee rose and the Seaate Plain Facts, | Stipngit's « Went inte executive session and soon after — wey oom adjourned. charge AND TO BE CONVINCED, CAL me ove’ Kasironds in 5 | PUR YOURSELF. R Acade India can boast of — ” wel best prensa i Fa it ae | ed railways in the world, as far as Buancia — | eiesene ote. | Suecess is the test of good management. Tae | )ycTecate, My counters are filled | Bove p Pacina returns of last year show that the ast India | Gyercostey with the railway has yielded nearly seven per ce Overconte clear profit on a capital of £30 59,000. The | Overcoate! gross receipts were upward of 63,000,000; the NEWEST working expenses about a third of that sum. cuoroner, The Kast India railway has thus beaten all G..;comin, —_, eb the English lines, some of which, by means | Overcuatn, cu BUSINESS COLLEGE, | of the a ae on = they pave | Qrerconts, wonr siriane dL streets, Anges | raised debentures aud guarauteed siock.haye | Overeoats, Lis! ; prac- been able to squeeze ony # dividend at Gvercosts, 1 Reng MO that, or a somewhat higher, rate to the hold- pis FALL — ers of a third of their capital. The Great I- 4 aes jean Prnotice, dian Peninsula railway, also, bes retarost | Overcosts, 8 and ae, Be, to the government, by way of surplus profits, | Gverconts, 7 al aT as much as £540,000. Ont OF the £5,000,000 ster” | Overcon's, a WINTER - Bve- ling that bas already beeu repaid of the in- | Overcoats, S cirea- aeceatvaneet nae r guarantee. The effects Dress Busts, = GARMENTS ENCE, Prem. ofrailways in improving the wages of the = ous - laborer in India, ad tn raisiog bis position P+ 4 ~ Mine: SDING ao DAT SCHOOL Stee both in the physical and in the morai scale, 23 MEN'S and BOYS’ at O42 M wrrmt porttiwest, Beet iar a eee have been both direct and indirect. The 20 pt eh techinintn) : native artisan works side by side in the shops Ft WEAB M4ELE Woop INSTITUTE, Uoncord- 1 | | | | | | | ifeat Babelsberg is that of a couatry gen- | with the English workman, and shows him- self no unapt scholar. The low cost of the locomoti:e power on the East India railway Boys prepared for Yuie or that can be found tn wesc iy 208. BHO! Dress Sui: Dress Suits, is due pot so much to the low cost Of native Dress Suits, the city, cal CULTCER TAUGHT IN CLASS 5 coal (which is less per ton than $s paid by | Boctuess salts, * Neil and MiscZ Alva JONES, cttee ECHY ae any Eiglish railway) as to the fact that na and embraces all the MUSIC, TO? «h © ibe +4 Uve drivers, firemen and attendants are en- week: loyed to a great extent by the company. loading atylen and fab- t j AMES CORRIDUN, Pro he difference in wages is more than that be- ; ; crema tween shillir gs and pence; aud the fact that Fics that will be | Bookkeeping ans Boat Ment teat he ena native Indians can, os y entrasted with | Brsiness Suite, worn thls sennen. one. courses of tessous. | Thorough jostraetiony | such responsible duties Is one that ismost | BU rac icon. Lemons givel et restenca, miguificant as to the faure course of the labor | Business Pants, @8% chools, then in you get and try tocur! yourselfupa | M Urean Dubois, acknowiedged to be ds zen different positions in a ki: ch | the greatest living master of Wwe culinary | of them, while you are in it, seems worse | #rt, 18 chef de cuisine in tie royal than the others. Of course, fyiug down or | kitthen, his majesty has, like his futher, sitting within the circumference of the bas- | Whose favorite dish was the nations ket is quite impossible. You mast eicner kneel, as the Japanese do, or sit Tark fash jon, or curl your legs wader you lasome an- | comfortable fashion. Then, too, the night of tbe kage ts calculated for the Japanese, who are a Very short race, so Uat If you are of te ners You Will peoba ally Knock) egainet the pole.— [Correspondence Fest. ourcrout aud peast, au ai? cllou for homely are. If incompany he liguts a cigar, it is more as @ Signal fo his guests Waal lie smok- ng hour artived than for the pleasure whieb it es him, and afer a few minutes ine cigar is allowed to vo out. From his youth an enthusiastic sportsman, the &m- peror is ull an euthustastie shot. Despite . he rides erect on his charger in troops. As a@ soldier he bis a or the mioutest details. Thu y sly indebied to him for its pres: t strength end greatness, is in sure bis own familly, justifying the mooning, my enildres!” with which on 3 | reviews he familiarly greets bis sol- he face of the earth. From morning till | diers. Posterity will doubtles reeogaize more night, ard from one year’s end to another, | fully than bis contemporaries gvnerally do they goon spinning their intricate weos in every nook and corver, on every tree, skra and lraf, festooning the fences, enshrouding the barns, covering the houses with their net- work. Occasionally you will see a tree that stands in in. some sheltered spot where the spiders are undisturbed by the winds or by human intruders, and there you will flad the work of these omnipresent insects in its co:- letest forms. It would seem that the fairies id thrown around it an enchanted gossamer mantle. From top to bottom it is one intri- cate network. @ imprisoned, smothered leaves seem to be strugg| tog to get out of the remorseless grasp of Uneir li iputian captors. After the spiders comes the California dust, the inevitable dust of summer, lodging thic! ly in every cobweb, and making the poor, struggling trees ook as though mourning in sackcloth and ashes for their friends, the lovg- delaying rain drops that seem never to come. The work of the dust and the spiders gives the California vegetation in summer an air of ee desolation. Evea the fairest orchards are thus clothed. We know of no characteristic of California more dis- agreeable than her superabundance spiders. And what @ country for moths! Eastern housekeepers who come here un- warned too often take their best clothes from trunks and closets riddled and ruisvet by moths. The climate that is so conducive to the growth of marvelions fruits, vegetables, grasses and cereais, is likewise favorable to the existence of the most disagreeble insects. These are some of oar drawbacks, too sel- dom mentioned, perhaps.—[ Sto-kton Indepen- lent. A Ponicy DeaLex in 3 York, who ought to know all about it, bas tolda 7vibune reporter thatthe man who buys a lottery that Kuiser Wilhelm, for the adimloistration and internal welfare of his country, has mplished as great services as for its onion and military power. Bismarck and Moltke, though shar af, the emperor's fame and popularly esteemed the main authors of his brilliant achievements, are not removed from the limits of his authority. At an age when men usually repose from life’s storms and turmoils, the emperor, showing no indi- cation of his advanced years or declining powers, still stands erect and unbent at the helm of state, wielding alike the scepter aad the sword.—{ London World. FECHTER'’8 ECCENTRICITIES IN Bost- NEss—Chas. Fechter has been more un- lucky than most metropolitan managers, since he had his reverses before he had fuirly undertaken management. Having played a number of engagements here with artistic and pecuniary success, he had an ambitioa four or five years since, to conduct a theater of bis own, as he had never bee with any house he had appeared in. Co: quently he obtained a lease of the Lyceum Theater, in 14th street, west o! avenue, of William Butler Duncan, explodei banker, and set to work to remolel it. He made extraordinary and expensive changes, turning the building up side down, aud was ull at his task, putting Into execution a number of model theories, when he quarrel- <a with Watts Shermao, Duncan’s painter and agent, and the grand reconstruction came to an end. ‘eehter claimed to have spent over 310090. herman declared that be had injured the building to more than that amouni, and got out an injunction, which stopped the work. Then the actor raved, instituted sail against Dunean, fixing bis damages at $250,000, ani ticket is a fool.” He thinks that'a player of | jeftthe ‘city oa@ starring tour In a ‘fit of policy is “a little less of an idiot,” but is | supreme indignation. The suit has been still one in a mild degree, because the ods prosecuted, and New York became 80 odious are in the end a@dead certainty against the | io the artisi that he swore he would never fil pis er. To show the reporter the cnances he | an engagement in it again. Taus far he has as @ policy dealer of making mouey, he | kept his word. said: ‘“A man Stakes his doilar on one out of seventy five combinations, and he stands a ebance of winning 860.” This, of course, presupposes honesty in the dealer iy§con- | vided with any number of quarrels. He dueting the deal, but as honesty is not their | possesses the artistic temperament in excess distinguishiny characteristic, the few | and has, it must be owned, a plentifal lack chances the player bas of winning anything | of common sense. In his native Paris he Ww still fewer. All this has | had incessant dissensions in and out of the re: id published over and over rojession; so he in London; sohe bal again by men who never played policy or | here: so that it bern p jastly be said tnat he bougbt @ lottery ticket, but withoat much has quarreled himself out of the three great effect on the ulous investors in lotteries | capitals of the world.—[N. ¥. Cor. Ciicayo and policies. Perhaps they may listen now, | Times. however, to the Carer] ofan expert—a man ee To Curr DYSPEPSIA oR Nervous De- who makes his living (in a very expensive oo BILITY. Change your diet and ma mer of way) off their folly and credulity. : ae eet _ , A I aap ERIN living; drink neither tea nor colfee; never Woman's Love —The other day an al- | drinie’at meal times; after every meal, or leged horse thief was brouzut up for trial at | during the meal, dissolve half a teaspooaful Waco, Texas. The eyideuce against him | or inate of cayenne pper in balfa Tiamtal Was very strong, when his wife @ mere child, | of inilk and drink it; eat plain food; never ith tearful blue eyes and blushing cheeks, | taste pastry of any kind. If you are trou- | 8nd the stamp of candor on her innocent | bled with sleepless nignts, do not try to pro- forehead, took the stand and testified that | mote sie-p by taking stimulants or oplates; her husband had bought the horse from a | they do more barm than good; take a spoage ‘echter 18 reputed to be well intentioned and kind-hearted, but he is 80 sensitive, irri- table, and choleric that he is always’ pro- man she Lad never seen but once.and pro | bath just before retiriug, and, if you are un- duced the bill of sale. The jury barat into | ablets doit gourscll, wet some once Sib tears and acquiites him, locked ta each | you well witt a coarse towel; If you wake in other's arms the devoted couple left the court amid the applause. Two hours later the dis- covery was made that the wife had been schooled by oue of the worst thieves ia the Tiron, who had written the bill of gale for ner. 87" What do you think of the eight hour law?” toquifed one workman of another who bad mate his mark and wou 4 position in life “I think,” was the reply, * that no man ever made any mark in the worll who didn’t work e:gliteen hours, 87-The Mobile | Ala.) Register says that the south 1s now prospering because the war taught southern men tosave money and to live on less rooney than formeriy, and be- the night and cannot get to sleep again, get up at once, not lie unUl you ‘get nervous Winking about it,” take a fovt bath; rab <<. lunbs well to get up a circulation; rink agiass of cold water. Dono! expec. to cure yourself inone week's time; have patience, and try one moath. In bathing use h acood hands to apply tae water, it | touch better than a sponge; soften the wate wi more iavigoratiag than ¥. Tribune. Don’t LiKE TO BE STARED AT.—Tenny son, a few day ago, Was diving with hi rether-in-law, Professor Lushington, and among the gues's tog toed to be aa inmifea- sive stranger who, having never had the r. Tennyson's com) DOW and again stole a at the illustrious po-t, Sudden- cause white labor and white energy are re- | honor of being in surreetirg and reviving tne south. bef fore, e' of eurlosity ly, however, those present were startled 0. aM. Tenpyson—who had x co his threat to kiss her if she was dilatory, and says that such a charge “bears oa its face the ersuasive odor of its owa improb- ung. ad ry. s7Mung Fong, 9, Chineso, cigarmaxer oe cuit te ee living at Chicago, for love of Celia Manning. | tone of concen’ savagery, abandoned the eresd aad costumss of nts | most to cause the unfortunate offender to ee . Lg aes shrink within his napkin ring, You are marry 2 SIRSCEReD er PGES | wen oat ean w TS jae en ( rising above parties.”—[ Ex. soclety is + | lees) sources.—[/ market in India, and elsewhere, so far as ius affected by Indian competition. It is Brsivess Pavte, My prices are a’so Inaticr for extreme satisfaction to Gud Bostoess Pants, 4 that the Latives are obtaining sufficteat con- <n Ponts, & always fidence to invest thelr own cayitulin makiog | Dress Panta, Indian raiiwa The Nizam, Holtar, | Dros Parts. . THE LOWEST, Scirdia and the Gaikwar have come for ~ es ward. with the a sistance and Sand no other bowsoin th under the suarantee of the government, to provide the recessary Captial for railways in their re- spective states. Still more encouraging ts the provision of capi'al from provincial aad Pall Mali Gazette. Coats and Vests, om Coate and Yess, 10 Cents and Vests, B2 ©. sts and cota, FB © ats and Vex city can undersell me, Suart Phelps, © IN CALIFORN 12 hin California grow Learning a trade Is somet available to the beys of this state. A Caine | iat: will do all the work that can be got oat of @ boy in any kind of manual labor and at aw much less cost. Home discipline om | ai instroction, Lam pained to sa: E regarded by too mauy of the youth of Cal.- tornia. Juvenile depravity ison the incesss >, | and the Say, every day. It see So maby boys and young man growing up in idleness and taking so naturally to the A. STRAUTS, 1071 Pennsylvavia evenue, Near itn street. Now Ready: FINE ASSORTMENT of READY MADE 8UITs, octid tr of bocdiums 's galuing reera:ts isasorry state of society (o a! Thomwbury. am septon, 8276. Alf.ed De Muss @2. The’ Freneh i | For Gentlemen aud Youth, DB, £2 Hawihorne and othe criminal classes which lofest the streets and J : 1° Ste og alleys. Probably there is no state In the From $10 up. oe hg RE Union that makes more liberal provision for os.” paper, 7c. Brema: or, My Fath. public education than Callforaia. Sill its | BEADY MADE COATS, Mackwiors.| Just published, and edueational code Is defective, especially so | a bcd ROS., far as it relates to the practical training of ith Vests to Mateh, of youth in the usefal arts and industrial pur- | suits as immediately tends to render them | competent to support themselves. And this is admitted by educators who desire to have | the evils of the present educational system — Tel led. The unemployed in thts’ state | can be counted by tens of thousands, noi | only youth, but full grown men and women. | | | Beitsb!s Diagonais ‘snd other patterns, From $15 apward. READY MADE OVERCOATS, For Gentlemen and Youth, ob Partnersbip Laws Ameri ap Digee on “ 1 al tot Pateuts; vol. rot o <= Practice te Civil A: This city 6Warms with them. It is no won- der that the masses are turbulent and that From $10 upward. é Baik 4x00, idleness begets crime.—(San Francisco Cor. | gyusnal care has been taken ta the preparation of | Ther Husbest of ioe A ter ee | the ready-made stock this season, and most of it has | All Do Jt. Wirstow, by Mes. Leith Adams. Mar SETrTine To His HOUSE TO | been specially made either by or for me. Jory Biuce’s Lovers. by Mary Patrick. FRIGHTEN A Sick Wire. — At Newwa | . cae 0. TH. MORRISON, Highlands, Mass., the peopis are consider- ably excited over a case of alleged arson ia which itis belleved that the accased offen- COTTON, MERINO AND WOOLEN UNDERWEAR, der intended to burn his sick wife to death. = John W. Warren, with his wife and mother- _ '°bsbly not excelled ip variety aud extent in Wash- iu-lew, came from Brooklyn to Newton Highlands about eight months ago, the couple having but recently been married. Mrs. Warren has been in a delicate state of alth, and has fora number of weeks beea ufned to her bed most Saturday evening Warren w und having missed the last train for home bad to walk, reaching his house aboat 3 Endershirts from 28 to 60 inches Drawers from 26 to $6 inches. Prices rauge from 10 cents to $8. PERFECTLY FITTING and | PERFECSLY MADE SHIRTS, Wamsucte Maslin, j b $1135 upward. From ; : 72 o'clock Sunday morning. About an hour | \Uhave esrtainly the largest stock of fue Shirts in | BOOTS AND SHOES. afterward, it is alleged, he deltberately went | Waebinet: U made specially forme, the same sort | 7. GEORG. which have giv: sal satisfaction for tho past ffieen yeare, 1 guarantee that no better cr cheapor shirts are to be fo the Ui Com Uist mailed to any FINE TAILORING, down stairs, and, taking some kerosene, poured it op the floor in the back hall and set it on fire. His wife, frightened by the smoke sprang out of and raised the alarm, which was responded to by the neighbors and police. ‘arren in the meaa time had put out the fire, as he me | alarmed a: the outcries of his wife. He was arrested, and, when asked if he intended to burn the house, bis answer is said to have | CITIZENS AND MILITARY BOOT SHOE MsKE BIAS Pa ave mw. Bign of the Big Washy Boot, Easy fitting sof SHOES and BOOTS, Scoteh, Irish | #0 #8to relieve Corns and Bunions, 's specialty. Prompt attention given to all orders by mail. octl-tr and American Only the best workmaushi; been of a character to indicate premeditatsd | BUNTING SUITS. cruelty on hig part toward bis wife and an |, spree cuted spt nym gg MEDICAL, &c. intention of frightening her. The alleged pyro list went to auy address. . ~ offender is said to be both rich and pious. cal amas ‘A pmitive ow 7 a y 5 + botue. socerding to JULIET IN JoLIET.—The Chicago Times | ge STKANGELS MAY RELY ON FA! forniule b; z at LAS is strost, commer relates @ romantic story of a young lady | DEALING. = Reausplvcnle srenae. Osavultatton tres. octe-s® pS Bae now staying in Joliet the towa where the Iilinots penitentiary is located. One even- ing she was out walkivg with her lover. LEON, The Oldest Ketablish x4 and only Re- liable Levies’ Puysician in the City can becon- ted every Tuvsday, W: jie stepped es sane Roe. ioe re- GEO. C. HENNING, E SSE SEs Stam to 3, o'clock. Py reshments, and while seated at the tabie a 115-tr No. Seventh street, jomabe Comnplates Tn 4 Mice and Reui- druvken rough came staggering in and in- ets oa. dence, $ Monroe greet, 5 oc sulted the lady, Her lover waraed him not See eras eine soe oo croak oe rough was just dran! repeat tae insult, and ‘the lover pulled eut his revolver and shot him dead. For this the lover was arrested, tried, and sentenced to two years | in the Joliet penitentiary. The youug lady is there, awailing the time waen he will re | in his liberty, which will bs shortly. She has elegant clothing, Jewelry, and plenty of money awaiting bis release, and then they both expect to be happy. | A Mvck FaTHERED BaBs.—0O1 Monday the students of the medical department 0 the ualversity of Califorcia, va Haign street, Was surprised to find on one of the benches of the aute-rom leading to the lec ware ball @ baby sleep ng peacstally. Pio ved lo ths eloibing Was acard statiog thet At SILVERBERG'S 312 SEVENTH STREET. ‘ata! Cobjets, 48c. per set. Goblets, 75c. ¥ Fine Ci nr Sia set. Fine Japaned set, all Bells, @1 Breakfast pair. Pep et ety r c's Table. Mate 'at S00 aod. te child’s name was Eva Louisa Beowa, | Trays,t0c. Extra large do., and that she wae Does the %thof last Jane. a eeagrement of ‘Bogaet Holders and Vases at — Nervous Dondliny. ‘ler @ consul oa among themselves. ‘ there reckless men resolvel to assume the | | Fite Photograpts of Ocateoutal Statuary, feamed, | [imese ct wists or diet =, of a cuilective father to the Tin Zinated Mottoes, very handsome, at 300. each. py gh ule waif. Money was saovscribed aad a ho = yr purse hired, the Students pledging them SIL) A selves individually and collectivel, »tosup port and educate the child until saca time as she may be able to care for herself—Sm Francisec Chronicle, Oct ith. Ex-SrcRETARY CHANDLES'S MICHIGAN Farm consists of 3, acres. It sepitthatr 312 Ttnst., ear Pa srenue. Phi PJECORATIVE AND FINE GOLD WALL | 232" tirame wl iar I respectfully announce to the public that I am ‘Assortment of bim about $100,000, aind 1+ Just beginning to | Srvperedto exRiBls the lorgest; — Pevieularters vi the farm week, WANS Pa‘ ae of any establishment in the city. The goods are: aud were addressed by Mr. Chandler. 235 = pA ge ty Be arusdel of Mary Davis, colored, 12, A006 | panos, PEEIZES, TILING DESIGNS, £e. 'y Also demand the reenactment of the death [a cash, 2 Seman en a eee rw: JON ALEXANDER, — sep: wAstm Ho. 1981 Pennsylvania avenue.