The Daily Alaska empire Newspaper, June 26, 1936, Page 15

THE DAILY ALASKA EMPIRE, FRIDAY, UNE 26, 1936 Live Apart and Sugg e estion That Rest Periods Be Enforceable By Law to Lessen - Divorce Is Already. Working Well, Says Judge C———— ARRIAGE vacations” during which the man and wife who can't get along together are ordered by law to live apart, 1S the remedy suggested by an Eastern judge for the growing divorce evil. The disagreeing couples are to be under the supervision of a probation officer from the Marital Relations Court, and the children are to be taken care of by someone appointed by the state. Startling as this sounds, it isn't a new idea. For more than two years one of the judges of the Domestic Re- lations Conrt has been doing this very thing. And he declares it works out admirably. He does not believe in making it a hard and fast rule, since there are cases where the evidence shows nothing can effect a reconciliation. Nor does he recom- mend it where there are children, unless they are small and may re- main with the mother, Renewal of Happiness. But he has on record many cases a bas speedily where “vacation” brought a renewal of happiness be- tween couples who a few months before were so bitterly opposed they wouldn't even listen to anything but diverce. And he is constantly re- ceiving letters and calls from people thus reunited, thanking him for showing them the error of their ways and letting him know how utterly mise time if irrevocably s able they would have been in parated. en Even b are many couples after a short “vacation Three Months Was Enough, “I had such a case very recently,” recalls the judge. “Adultery was proven and 1 sentenced the man to six nths and a lecture. He was sent to prison, and after three months the wife came to me and pleaded for his release, although she had been very hard and bitter at the time of the trial. adultery, happily re- when th has there unit cause ¢ id, ‘well, madam, if you who have been sinned against can forgive bim, I gue 1 can. And ordered his release. One day last week I met them on the street. He stopped me and thanked me for what I had done for them. ‘Those three months away from my wife made me think more than I had ever done in my life be- fore, he said. ‘Nothing ever said to me by my father or mother or any organization to which I belonged did any good. It went in one ear and out the other. I believed I had a right to go out with another woman whenever I wanted to, so long as I provided for my wife. “‘And it took those three months away from her to show me what wonderful woman she is and how| much I love her. “:And T want to thank you, Judge, his wife added with shining eyes, ‘for the happiest seven months of our married life since my husband came back to me.’ “It happens like that again and {again. A few weeks away from their |wife, or husband, and they begin to {realize what they are missing. Very frequently they send some influential ifriend or thelr doctor to plead with /me to let them return. Today in jcourt, T had four couples reunited who had been separated by my or- (ders only a little over two months, |and they have forgotten all about the divorce they were so anxious to get, lam‘l the only thing they want;is to get back together again. “And when I give my consent, T start them off on a second honey- {moon, beginning with a wedding !dinner arranged according to their day snd were proud,of it. We khow some Americans who *‘did"’ five cathedrals in one finances. A man this morning had $18 with him. I sent them to a big hotel. Six weeks a they were ready to fly at each other’s throa “He was & clerk for a public s ice corporation, making $75 a week, having worked himself up from $15 He insisted he had to join secret or- ganizations which kept him out late at night in order to make good in his position. She objected to this and retaliated by taking rides with other men. urally this was mis- construed. He resented her conduct, and the fact that she wasn’t’ satisfied with the nice home he gave her, but constantly wanted something more. She resented his criticism. And home she went to mother. After that the veneer was washed off, and they reverted to the $15 a week days. Noth- ing was too mean to say or do. They brought the case to court, and I or- dered a ‘vacation.’ It wasn't long before they were begging to go back to each other. It needed that sep- aration to wake them up. Many Trivial Reasons. “Often the reasons aren't as serl- ous even as this. Sometimes it would be laughable if it were not so pa- thetic and so tragle, the things which bring two people Wwho have sworn to love each other until death parts them, into the divorce courts. ‘He went home to see his folks to0 often’ or ‘she went home to see her folks too often,’ or ‘he stays out on the corner and talks to the boys at night and sometimes he doesn’t come in till 12 o'clock’ or ‘she wouldn't cook the steak like I wanted her to' or he promised to take me to the theater and then he wouldn't. “Ninety per cent of the divorce we try should never reach court, we are told, and at that 80 per cent of the complaints are ad- justed by our workers before they come to final judgment. Almost in- variably, petty quarrels and differ- ences which seem lfke a just cause for divorce,, dissolve into thin air aft- er a few weeks' ‘vacation.” the right perspective childish they have been. Trifles Magnified. “Frequently the most trivial things have been magnified into seemingly unsurmountable grievances,” de- clares the judge. “They come into court with stories of the most ter- rible wrongs. But I used to bo & lawyer myself I went on the bench and I know just how they have been coached. I recognize the claver footwork, as we term it, even though it 1s done with the head. I know that every one of these folks have had a week or ten days to pre- ca They get and see how that we have not once been mble to look a venerable signt in the face without its immediately becom- ing vocal, not to say voluble. Do we complete lovingly a thatch- ed cottage endeavoring to relieve in our mind’s eye the days of youth in the fourteentb century? Instantly a volce squeaks hysterically from the cobblestones: “Isn't it the darling- est itty-bitty thratchaway cottage?”’ Do we inspect the real antique worm-holes (not manufactured in Trenton) in a hand-hacked beam supporting a timbered ceiling of Tu- dor design? It also bursts into speech with: “Did you ever see any- thing so fascinating in all your life?” Do we reverently approach a stone bishop laid out in a cathedral, ad- miring the granite embroidery on his robe? A sepulchral volce booms IT has been our sad experience & - pare just what they are going to ay to that fellow up there with the silk wrapper on. “And I get them talking on other things, and then size them up, in- tuitively and see where the trouble lies. ‘You have a perfect right to fight’ I tell them. ‘It is the sacred right of friends to fight and remain friendly. How much more so then 1s it the right of husband and wife. When you read in the papers of this or that couple celebrating their twenty-fifth or thelr fiftieth anniver- sary ‘and never had a quarrel,’ it's a blankety-blank lfe. No man ever lived with a woman that long with- out a fight, unless she was a piece of straw, which you wouldn't want. And nearly always after a short sep- aration, they realize what I mean They see that fust because you have a little argument with your wife {s | no cause far a divorce. Financial End. “The financial end of these ‘vaca- tions’ are arranged with the hand of a solomon. When there are small chldren, the order must be of course large enough to support them com- fortably. And this calls attention te one of the drawbacks of the scheme. A man on a salary barely enough to support a home, who lives from one payday to the next, fsn't going to be Trom, the foot of'the sarcophagus: “Extrawd'n'r’y thilk, eh what!” No wonder large and gaping cracks appear in the lids of so many tombs. Rest In Peace. We used to think that the fnscrip- tion, “Rest in Peace,” so beloved of tombstone cutters, was a mere po- etic superfluity. Now we see that it is a necessily on any well-equipped monument, especially if one thinks of taking up one’s future abode among the paths worn thin by tour- ists. For there is no peace for the living or dead from the intrusion of the noisy tourist. No worm can rest ia its worn-hole, no bat can slumber " There has been much what was the inten- in its belfry ssion as to tion of the mediaeval craftsman when he carved in the crannies of the cathedral those leering, jeering, sneering g yle faces, Now we know it w who existed even you shall see later Is Elastie. ch looking upward, ind too previous an is around the next s to mimic the sightseer, in these days, as By dint of r and of too iy Iy interest in what corner, the tourist 18 acquiring a new and strange malady. This is the Gargoyle Neck. A bad case of Gargoyle Neck can only be cured by the patients’ booking immediate passage for home and taking a com- Dlete rest. British bread, strong tea, cabbage in any form, and dough cake should be stricken from his diet. We strongly advise those who have con- tracted this ailment not to trifie with it, as a London landlady informed us that one suca American lady, who had been staying at her house got only as far as Paris, where she passed out. The landlady was eternally grateful to her for not dy- ing in her house. {m that Ameri- cans are the only members of the Do and Die The English a gine Let no one Frateraity, ‘\n “. /At the left is a view of a buxom lassie dashing into a cathedral. It is nearly time for the train to pull out but she simply can’t go home to confess she didn’t see this particular landmark. At the right we see rather heavy marching egu rent, would have us believe so. Th make remarks after this fagshio “Whawt Bee-n in town hawlt a day, and haven't ‘done’ the cathedral yet? We thought you wehr Americans! Why, we know some Americans who did five cathedrals in one day and wehr proud of it.” After such opin trymen it would been useless to explain that know so little of architecture ourselves, and have se eral times made criticisms of con- structional composition to find later that Mr. Baedeker himself agreed with us. And that we attend serve ices on Sundays, and sometimes dur- ing the week at evensong, when be- ing in cathedral towns. Those Terrible Americans. But s0 sat upon were we, that, up- on discovering an alabaster crusader 80 covered from head to foot with scratched fnitials that he looked like en ancient inscription in cuneiform writing, we immediately ‘exclaimed: “Those terrible Americans! They ought to be kept at home!” In our chagrin, we examined the initials, and a horrible fascination drew us on to see whether we could recog- nize any familiar names. We could not and we publicly apologize to all Americans, for what we found after many of the intitials were dates such as 1630, 1547, etc.—~and at that date all (or nearly all) Americans were English, and those who were in America stayed there. Always Use Guide Book, It was an American lady whom we saw dashing into Winchester Cae thedral just in time for service on a Sunday morning. She carried bag and ba, » (or rather, she lugged ons of our coun- ave we ~“ . The talent of success is nothing more than doing what you.can do weli le doing whatever you do without a thought of fame. S ~Longfellow ANTIQUITIES SHOULD BE SEEN, NOT HEARD y et Kiggage) able to keep up two establishments " He can’t take a pleasant little yaca tlon away from all responsibilities keeping pace with the single men of his acqualntance, and yet meet his obligations to his family. Wher there are no children, it 1s more eas- ily adjusted. Just enough to bare- 1y support the wite, and yet enough to be a bit of a burden to the hus band. She must not be allowed tc live in luxurious freedom, and he must always be reminded that he has a wife. In this way, the marital flame 1s kept burning {n both their earts.” “But why not let him go free alto- gether? If she does not care to live with him any longer, why not let her €0 to work and earn her own living? Then both are absolutely on their own.” “Because all too often when a wife 1s allowed to break away like that and have her own individual in- come, she will refuse to go back And the home is broken up. It is our wish and our aim to reunite them in happiness whenever possi- ble. “Here we unquestionably have one of the reasons for the Increasing number of divorces. “Perhaps it was marrfage and di- vorce Shakespeare was thinking of when he said: ‘'Tis better to bear the ills we have than fly to others we know mnot of’ It looks that way, when so many of them want to get back together again the minute they are separated.” end gave a good fmi- tation of someone catchi at the last minute. Nor it wasn't an American who stalked the service clad in b equipment and reading her guide- book. Both wine an co being for- bidden to the coffee is his only stimula it. Arab by his religion A new and strange malady, the gargoyle neck.