Cottonwood Chronicle Newspaper, May 5, 1922, Page 5

SONG THAT TINY GIRL LOVED Naturally, as She Understood it, It Made a Strong Impression Upon Her. She had lost her government po- sition and, as keeping company with @ wolf has absolutely no attraction for an aspiring young woman, she anatched at the opportunity to teach @ country school in the green hills of Virginia, not so very far away. She discovered that her duties in- cluded sweeping the school, keeping up the fire an} so on, but as every good teacher is a Tom Sawyer at heart, the boys and girls were soon outracing each other for the grasp- ing of such honors—and she in turn became so interested in her work and in the little people that-she thought up many pleasures for them and taught them many simple songs. In no time they were on piping terms with patriotic anthems and old- fashioned hymns, which they dearly loved, especially “Onward, Chris- tian Soldiers,” because of its swing and infectious rhythm. As one tiny girl confided to her with shy ardor: “Teacher, I love all the songs, but what I love best of any is “Onward, Kissing Soldier.” — Washington Star. SAFEGUARDING A REP Today the Woman went in for one of those put and take lunches, so popular for the hurried business woman. At the table sai,two sis- ters. When they were ready for des- sert, the older took a baked apple, the younger one of those fancy pas- Why Not? by Richards and Son. travel. How profitable, in the econ- omy of time, is the immediate answer and the avoidance of delay. How satisfactory is the direct personal touch. Convenience, profit and satis- faction will be found in the use of the long distance telephone lines. Every Bell telephone is a Long Distance station. The Pacific Telephone And Telegraph Company tries ordinarily called a cream roll, but which they called “lady luck.” She, put her fork in one end and the cream camepopping out the other. This amused them both, and the older suggested she turn it around and ail would be right. She did, but the same thing happened; so after battling witht for a few see- onds, in despair, she took it up in her hand and started to eat. The sis- ter, with a look of horror, stopped her, exclaiming: “Suppose some of my swell friends should see you!” After protests, the younger put the “luck” back orf the plate and finish- ed it as best she could.-Chicago Journal, MIGHT MISPLACE EYEBROW “It takes a man of courage to face the accusing eyes of his wife without flinching.” “That’s why I usually pick a quarrel with Mrs. Gadspur when she’s putting on her make-up,” said Mr. Gadspur. “Eh?” “At a time like that a woman isn’t going to rup the risk of tak- ing her eyes off her mirror.” DRY BANQUETS “You are not going to attend your class reunion ?” “No,” said Mr. Jagsby. “The college spirit is still strong in me after twenty years’ absence from the academic halls of my alma mater, but I don’t feel equal to emitting the college yell with noth- ing behind it but a few glasses of cold water.” — Birmingham 4m WHY NOT let Richards & Son make your clothes? WHY they know hot to fit you WHY it is their business to make clothes. WHY are you distinguished among men? WHY I am wearing a suit made by Richards. WHY this transformation in this community? WHY because we are all wearing new suits made We clean, press and repair on short notice RICHARDS & SON, The Cottonwood Tailors In Business Transactions How convenient is the elimi- nation of correspondence and Herald. A CHORD OF WOOD, “Percy hes a voice of wonderful timbre.” “It's not surprising—he'’s such @ blockhead!" EVER THUS Mrs, Bug: You say you're a flower plieker? Hobo Bug: Yes'm, ! pick century plants, MARRIAGE Marriage is a lottery. Well, I guess my wife | is tight. She is constantly say- ing 1 never had any business to gamble. Pen Portrait That May or May Not Be Se Very Much Overdrawn or Caricatured. “Do you know the picture sport ?” | asked a girl who was wearing Nor- | folk tweeds, flat sport heels and a tweed hat. “Any kin to the tin horn?” asked her man companion, “N—no—I’d say not. Because this kind is not objectionable except as she is inconsistent and that may be her prerogative. Who knows? She is the girl who fills up her ward- tobe with the most fragile of so- called sport clothes, silk skirts, em- broidered ribbon hats to match, silk | hose, dainty ties or pumps, sweaters in the most perishable of colors and fabrics, bathing suits that won’t wet and rubber picture hats that would make you drown if they were caught by a wave. That’s the picture sport. “She never plays golf in her golf togs; she never swims in her water suit; she never rides or hikes in her breeches; she never plays-tennis in her becoming tennis skirt. Oh, no, but she sails in to tea with the rest of us after the games are all over and we are hot and red and covered with perspiration and sits down to the table as fresh as paint, giving us the once over fur being so blown and blowsy looking. She fans herself | and makes up with her vanity case | wide open—she’s the picture sport! | Watch her!”—Chicago Journal. BETTER THAN NO EXCUSE “Do you know, dear, it is nearly | two years since you called on us?” “1 know, but think of the wretched | weather we’ve been having!” HYDRAULIC HORSEPOWER | | | | | The combined hydraulic horse- | power of the United States and | Canada is 50,000,000, or slightly |more than that of Europe. The | power developed both in the United States and Canada, again, is slightly greater than the grand total for all of Europe. The percentage of power | developed is, then, about the same in | North America and Europe. he | | British empire, apart from Canada, | cuts a poor figure in these totals. | Leaving out Canada, the power uti- | lized by Great Britain in proportion | to her resources is far below that of | other countries. | The possibilities of future wealth | in the United States in this respect | are amazing. In a single month the | total output of water power for the | country was 1,226,770,000 kilowatt | hours. | duces twice the hydraulic power of | New York. By developing such nat- | ural resources, this wealth, it is en- couraging to remember, may be in- creased more than 500 per.cent, A CAREFUL ESTIMATE The recruit was anxious to get a | | noncom’s billet in the Tenth artil- | | lery, and the first sergeant was giv- : a ie | ing him a preliminary examination. | “How many pieces will a 12- pound shell burst into?” asked the | sergeant. The recruit did some rapid-fire | thinking. He rubbed his chin— | drew an imaginary line on the floor with the toe of his shoe—scratched his head, and finally drawled out: “Well, sergeant, I should judge not less than two.” | USE LAMPS TO STUDY PLANTS Large electric lamps, 1,000 watt capacity, are being used in an inten- sive study of the rate of respiration and the process of photo synthesis in plants at the University of Wiscon- sin. The plants are allowed to grow under these powerful lamps in a room cooled to about 65 degrees Fahrenheit. UNCLE EBEN DEFINING THE PICTURE SPORT | COUGAR MADE GOOD SHOWING Incidentally, California pro- | Man and Three Dogs Engaged in Long and Fierce Battie With Preda- tory Animal, According to a Husum (Wash.) especial to the New York World, a man, three dogs and a big cougar engaged in a frightful battle near there in the foothills of Mount Adams, according to Gus Olsen, whe is under a doctor’s care for several dozen deep cuts on hisbody. Olsen, seeking a cougar guilty of robbing him of several calves, start- ed three experienced hunting dogs on the trail and they intercepted the furious animal in a hollow. The cougar backed upward into a low | hanging cedar and coolly faced the dogs which went after it from all sides. The first dog within range of the sharp claws of the big cat had its head nearly severed and the second dog to launch an offensive was ripped open from end to end. The third plucky dog was sailing into the flying claws of the cougar when Olsen arrived and fired. Thinking the animal dead, Olsen reached for its tail to pull it from the tree. The cougar suddenly be- came a dynamo of destruction and in a few minutes had torn Olsen’s clothing to shreds and left him | bleeding from several dozen deep scratches. Olsen was entirely exhausted when HELPFUL SUGGESTION The Waiter—How’d you like a | slice of nice hickory-cured country j; ham with three or four fresh egys, | right off the nests? The Customer—Fine! Just the thing! The Waiter—Ain’t it so? bad, we ain’t got none. Too IMPROVED CAMERA Formerly a specially built camera was required for taking “slow-mo- | tion” moving pictures, produced by | running the film through the camera at high speed and projecting it at normal speed. Now an attachment, | says Popular Mechanics Magazine, is available by the use of which any A NEW “You never won’t hab no trouble gettin’ work, son,” said Uncle Eben, “if you coaxed foh a job as hahd as you does foh seven in a crap guano” { the cougar fell dead from the slow | | effects of the bullet in its lungs. webacoestinantia motion picture camera will produce films at the rate of 128 to 200 ex- posures a second, instead of 16 a second, the normal rate. The device can be attached or removed in about one minute, and, when removed, the camera may be used in the regular way without further change. NEW KIND OF FUEL Successful experiments have re | cently been made with a fuel com- posed of anthracite dust and an al- most pure carbon obtained by distila- tion of coal-tar pitch. The stuff is pressed into briquets, the coal-tar pitch product serving as a binder, In this shape it is hard, dense and in color silvery to grayish black. The briquets burn like anthracite, not | going to pieces like coke.—Milwau- kee Sentinel. HAD MORE HEAD THAN HEART Mother—Jessie, the next time you hurt that kittie, I am going to do the same thing to you. If you slap it I'll slap you. If you pull its ears Vl! pull yours. If you pinch it I’ pinch you. Jessie (after a moment’s thought) —Mamma, 1’ll pull its tail.—Life. A CAREFUL YOUNG MAN. “You want to marry my daugh- ter?” “I'm not certain, but I'd like an eption on her hand, sir.” HER VIEWS I don’t un- derstand this stuf about sealed pro- posals? Huh? It must be a very strange young man who would send a girl a proposal that wasn’t sealed. BON VOYAGE Passenger (from ear window)— Hey, you darn fool, here goes the train and you haven’t put my bag- gage aboard. Porter—You’re the darn fool; you're on the wrong train.—From Le Rire, Paris. UNCLE EBEN “De stranger,” said Uncle Eben, “always gives you de most interes- tin’ advice, but when you's lookin’ foh real help, you’s mos’ likely to git it f'um de old friend.” UST Arrived LINE OF Ladies’ Ready-to-Wear Coats, $14.95, 16.00, 17.98, 19.95 Suits, $14.95, 18.95 Dresses, $9.00 to $29.95 Skirts, $4.95, 5.95 Leggett Mercantile Co. Where Your Dollar Buys More