Chicago Daily Tribune Newspaper, February 13, 1876, Page 3

THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE: SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 1876—SIXTEEN PAGES. 3 NEW YORK GOSSIP. Effect of Bowen’s Publication on the Beeclier Case. onfiict Between the Typographical TUnioa and Convict Printers, Brooklyn Pemale Teacliers to Lose Their Places if They Marry. An Outrageous Practical Joke in the Rural Districts. ) Blind Audience Worth Secing—Mrs, Tilton's Whereabouts, Ete. Sperial Corresvondence of The Chicago Tribune. Nrw Yons, Feb. 10.—Tha Bowen publication bas oot materially altered public opivion on the- Bescher question. It bas passed beyond the power of 82Y single individual who =mply mskes sn uneupported statement to change the seotiment of the peoplo who bhaso tsken sides on this quostion. Aud those wio have not made up their minds on the sub- jict ero either very ignorant orof no account. Aleet 5 dozen persons in the streot, and ask their igion of the guilt of Henry Ward Beecber, and pine ost of twelve will gy ** guilty,” Thisbrings tomind 8 very curious bot mado last week, on ths day the Bowen ststement wis printed, be- tweén two Wall street brokers, hoth Brooklyn- jtes. Tho bet was a suit of clothes on the ma- jority sentiment of the passengers on a Brook- fsn ferrs-boat. Last Baturday moruing the vote was takan betwaan 9 and 10 o'clook on £ne ferry- boat Winons, the count being by agrovment con- fined to the gentleman's calia for obvious rea- joss. The two parties took the tallies them- selves, and tho result stood as foliows: ‘Yotes taken... ‘Beacher belicved gallty 0. n owcaer believed not guill 23 Daxtined 2n opinion a2 The Joser, being a stan amazed by the result. - ABAID ON MATHDMONY. Yhers is ap immenso amonnt of quiet indig- pation in the City of Churches concerning an order promulgated by the Brookiyn Borrd of Edneation, to the effect that Iady teachers who form matrimonial allituces may consider their positions vacant. It is said thatSt. Paul de- slares marrisge to be honorable, but the Brook- Iyn Board evidently considers it otherwise. The question i8 very pertinently ssked, ‘ Why not spply the same rule to the male teachers?” There are two sides to the question, however, and the Board members stoutly insist that their order, if strictly adbered to, will promcte the edficiency of the schools. They argue on the result of observaticn extending over a series of years, that lady teachers Jose a large degree of thesr usefuipess as soon 88 they are married. The teachers' friends are complumniog through the papers thst their rights are iovaded, and that they are as mouch entitled to malrimonisl prnileges as the men. A BOW ABOUT PAUPER PRINTING. The Typograpbical Union has held a meeting and protesied very etrongly against the Com- missioners of Charities allowing the paupor boys inone of the city wstitations on Rsadall's Isl- and to be employed as printors by countractors who have engaged them for that purpose. It seems 8 pasty namod Swayno haa recently taken 2 large contract for public printiog at very low ates, a0 ig ensbled to carry it out at a profit becsuse he employs pauper labor. The same party a few years ago started a prioting office with conwict printers at Sivg Sicg Prison, bat thocity printers sent a delegation to the Legielature and bad s bill passed forbidding this form of convict Iabor, and thus defeated the project. Now they are bent upon defeating the Randall Island scheme, but in this case the work has been done g0 quietly and gone so long, that it is doubtfnl if thewr protests will avail. Tae trath is, the problem of convict labor is & difficult problem to solve. 1f thereisany par- ticalar degres of hardship to prioters in permit- ting convicts to do a journeyman’s nork, whereis the virtne in making him a_shoemaker to the Cetriment of the bonest Crispio outeide the prison walls 7 What is tbe practical difference i 1he commanity whether convicts are em- ployed 2s printers, shoemakers, OF quAtTsman ? £4D CASE OF DECEPTION IN THE RURAL DISTRICTS. 4 lawyer who has just returved from a visit % Eficotville, the county-seat of Cattaraugus County, in thus State, relates the case of s poor womsn who for many years has harassed the Common Pleas Court of that connty and the lawyers who practice beforsit with a story of ber alleged wrongs and her claims for redress. Itseems she was the victim of s man's wiles in England, who first promised marriage and then desertedher. Shortly after ber parents removed to this State, and in Cattaraugus Consty she be- ame ensmored of a young man nsmed Elliott, 0 account of his resemblance to her Engliah lever, aud the fact becoming knonn to‘some young bloods in the town, they couceived the brilliant idea of perpetrativg a practical joke on the woman. They accordingly sent ber notes parporting to come from the person who bad at- tractad her notuce, professing undving devotion, eétc. The womau 100k it ali in serious part, sod answered the notes, which fell into the hands of the jokers. In this way s pretended provosal was made and accepted, and & wedding-day ap- pointed. Unknown 1o the jokers, the young IR0 Was at that time engaged to a young lady 1n an edjoining town, and about the time of the preteuded wedding appointment, he slipped of tod was married. Tne woman became crazy, 80d bas &ince been trying to get some lawyer to orosecute her wrmentors. She is the wreck of s once beautiful woman, JOSE OX AN AUDIENCE. Recen_uy there was & leciure at an mp-town :h\ntcn_m thia city which was marked by = curi- Jus incident not Iaid down in the programme, 1d which was probably pot understood bya Nf—dozvm persons in the audience. It wasan Mlectgtion on the part of the lecturer (remem- ber this when he goes to Chicago) that he could ipeak better upon a crowded than upon s vacant vh_:form. This was a pet ides on his part, and, being made known to the managers, they began 1o think of some expedien: for gratifsing the lectarer. Now, snybody who has had experience I this matter knows that the averago citizen or sitizeness has an aversion to faciog an audi- eica not easily overcome. The difticulty is to Ret 8 few beginners,—tho muititude witl follow, but will rarely lead. One of the managers hit 2pon & happy expedient. While the rest werq puzzliog their braios bow to get the platform Blled, he gent off a note ta the Superintendent of Abiind asylom, cordially inviting the Superiu- dentto bo _present in the evening, and to bring With him thirty of the mals and female students, —all blind, of course, In due time the blind elegation arrived, were ushered upon tho stage, 1ud the void 80 rauch feared by the lecturer wag led. Plenty others immediately followed, and . Ineddienoe never knew how the thing was Beechuma{ was } o TOOLISR PANIO OVER THE BROADWAY FIRE. Of all the ridicalous, foolish panics ever start- M in this or sy other city, was one which #tarted yesterdsy morning and lasted about ono 3our. 1t was a sort of run oa the fire insuranco ompanies, based npon the unwarranted assump- . tion that the great fire on Broadway on Tuesday Right had broken s number of the companies. Tho theory of the panlo was something in this Wit : The fire in 1815 destroyed threa mullions Of praperty and brake twenty companies,—ergo, fire having destroyed four millions will break twanty others.” The panic was confined $o amall traders at first, but rumors were circu- Iated that thia apd that company had suspended, 2nd then respectable merchants began to make Tquitizs, until for an hour or two the lower Broadway offices wero in a state of siega. How- ever, it 8oon ended, 88 it transpired that there Xers & half-dozen single offices amply able to the entire loss without going into bank- TUpler. The losses are in fact so well distrib- nted among the companies that none of them er very heavily, and a3 Jast yesr was their burvest year, thay can essily besr the losses of y night withont impairing their eapitals. HOW FINANCIAL COLUMXS ARE USED. The charge 80 oféen made snd reiteratod thav the financial columos of tne New York Tribuns e employed -to bolster up the Jay Gould wchemes is very geperally believed. Bat the Tribune is not the only daily in New York which 1s justly chargesble with an offenss of cais char- Mater, Not long ago a succesaful raid was made 902 prominens Western stock by Wall stcest | operators, who had aesistance from one of the afternoon journals. The financial reporter of this paper Was tho holder of fwo bonds of the road whose stock wss being ran down by the bears. Thess bonds were in defaalt, but to save the feolings of thia financial critic the Prasident of the road personally advanced tho money to pay thaintarest coupons on thess defsuiiad bonds. Notwithstandiog ths fact, which should at least made tho man grateful, the reporter poured hot sbot into tho rond overy day far & week, until the stock went down ao loy that it ceased to bo & foor-ball of Wall street. The President of the rosd fold me of ths incident, and added, with & smile, ““ New York is fall of such fellows, and you csu buy them at $10 spicce, asmaoy of them ss ygu wish." QUEER USE OF A PNEUMATIO TUNNEL. Who besids an American would hava con- ceived the idea of using au abandoned tunnel for a rifle range, or where will you find a rifle gallery with a range of 1,000 yards right in the heart of a big city? All thisjlias been dono, and msy bo soen in this Cityof New York. Tho Besch poenmatic tunnel, which was dug under Broadway, commencing under the Devlin building on the corner of Warron streot,was, as your met- ropolitan rendera are aware, a failuro for the Want of funda to csrry out the origioal plan. It was oxhibited to tho pubkic for two years, but thero isn't much sttractiveness to.the public in ahole in the ground, so it was eimply closed, until last fall, when 1t was converted into & rifie range uader the name of ** Creedmoor, Jr.,” and there are nfle matches thero every few days by teams, composed of rival employes of various fisms, in the same style ay the base-ball matohes of the sumer ceasap. 1t is a success as a busi- ness enterprise, sad affords the city buck & good opportunity to practico rifle-shooting atany dis- tance without going off into the country. THE ELEVATED-RAILWAY WAR. Tt is assumed that the only solution of the rap- id-transit question in this city is 1o the adoption of tho elevated-railway eystom. This plan is now in successful operation betwaen 'the Bat- tery and Central Park, and bas been used to convey passengers to the old Hudson River Railroad station at Thirtieth street for sovaral years. Tho trip, which in the ordiosry horae- car consumes au hour, is'made in- twanty-eight minntes. The Rapid-Transit Commiesion, under tho act of the Legislature of Iast year, bas pro- posed an elevated railway for Third avenue, and 8 similar echeme has been adopted in Brookiyn for DeKalb aveoue, but-while everybody is in favor of rapid transitin principle, it is pretty much in practice like tue man who thought the best place to hiave a boil was on somebody else. Itis a grand thing to have an elevated ralway, provided you don’t have it on ““my street.” The Tesult is nightly indignstion;meetings, composed of fitteen or twenty persons, held along Tuird avenue, proteating agawst ¢ the permanent 1n- jurs of our noble avenue™ by an- elovated rail- way. This is sheer bosh, of course, but the In- dignation Meeting 18 one of our peculiar institu- tiows, and must not be interfered with. INGENIOUS AND INGENTOUS. Thé theatrical managers of this city know how to got » vast amount of gratuitous advertising about aa perfoctly as they know how to gull the public otherwise. Witness Jarrott & Palmer - vitiog tbe Governor and Legislature to visit Bootl's to witness ‘Julius Cwxgar,” and the promised invitation to the President and Con- grégs. Witness Sheridan Shook permitting the publishers of & weekly paper to placard the city and suburbe with tens ot thoussnds of posters announcing the publication of the story of * Rose Michel,"” and then pouncing down upon them with an injuuction prolubiting the publica~ tion, on the ground that it may form the basis of another dramatization, snd thus interfore with their present copynght. -Thisis & sheer adverbsing dodge. But Augustin Daly outdoes them sll. “He has printed a notice that, having detected certain parties in the act of taking a copy of the play of =*Pigne” by phonographic procees, he warns mauagers aod lessees againet using the copy thus obtaioed. Tho factis, the Herald sent renorters to take notes of the play, for the purpose of compazing it with ths novel by Florence Marryatt, known as *Her Lord and Mauster.” ‘The Herald made the comparson and convicted Daly of plagiariziog the plov aud lan- guage from the novel. Dut * Pique” is ihis week in 1its sixtieth representsiion, and Daly, under the wing of Stove Fiske, lsughs and grows fat (and rich, t00,) over his success in mying his piece an additional iuterest 1 the public eye at &0 slight & cost 10 himaelf. ' WHEREABOUTS OF MES. TILTON. What a pity that innocent children should be the victims of 80 much prarient ouriosity aris- ing outof ascandal for which they are motin any wiso responeible, A few days ago, walking slong Bedford aveoue in Brooklyn, I saw & bright litile fellow rmoning along the &treat fol- lowed by a troop of children hallosing, * Ralph ‘[ilton, where's your father?” Tho firat child was Little Ralph Tilton. eon of Theodore Tilton. Heis attending s Kindergarten achool on Bed- ford gvenue, and wss on his way to his mosher’s home. Mrs. Tilton Is living with her mather, —the former Mrs. Morse,—on Madison street, near Nostrand avenue, ke has her two sons with her, and the father bas chargeof the daugh- ters. Mrs. Morse pays the expensea of the 1il- ton boys' echooling, and it is believed Theodore Tiltou himself is contributing largely to his wife's Dpresent support. She1s a regular attendant of Dr. Duryea s charch on Clagsou avenue, and fre- quently appears on the street. There is a sad, weary, dejected ook on hor faco, however, which strictly comports with the painfal nototiety she has obtained befoie the public. HOW THE “ TIMES" NARROWLY ESCAPED BEING BOUGHT BY PILL TWEED. The Daily Times, i ite issuo of yesterday, re- ferred to the purchase of shares by George Jooeg having been the text of a blunder in con- founding the name of E. B. Morgan, of Aurora, N. Y., owner of forty shares of the Times stock, with ex-Gov. E, D. Morgan. It stated farther- more that tbe only connection the latter had over had with the paper was as 0ae of the exec- utors of Henry J. Raymond in preventing the purchase of his shares by Boss Tweed. This statement recalls the fact so well koown at the time that Bift Tweed made s miost determined effort to spike the Zimes guns on its brave ex- posure of the Tammavy Ring by purchasing the shares owned by tbe deceased Raymond. Ho offered a large sum for a controliing - interost—a mauch larger price probably than it was at that time wortb—in order to prevent the paper being used sgainat um. But see the compene: for not selling out to Tweed. Toe ''ammany exposures doubled the value of the Tinwes, and to-dsy, next to the Herald, it ia the best paying nowspaper stock iu New York. . ACORNETSOLO IN CHURCH. The question of simplicity in church music is an engrossing topic for the religions journals. In New York there are exemplifications of all gorts of theories from the high-priced artistio operatio quartette down to the squeally-voiced precentors, who manage to keep abouta half note clear of their followera through the eatire tuce. Jobn Hall'a new church has & precentor, but the masic there is murdered. Beecher hasa quartette and chorus, and others have mixed choirs—very much mized. But the most unigue thing in chureh music is to be fonnd st Talmage'a Tabernacle. There is flrst George . Morgan, organist, who plays s so-called voluntary before the sarvice begins. It sounded to me more like the overturo to *Zamps " thau ao appropriste perforience for an Orthodox church, and Iam told this eort of thing is heard at every service. Second, there is Mr. Arbuckle, the eminent cornet soloist, who stands second only to Levy 1m his profession. Arbuckle leads the singing with the cornet, and does it very effectively too, but the unique partof the rrogramme is & verit- able cornet solo, with organ ‘accompaniment, played while the collection 18 being taken. Itis 8o nearly like tho Gilmore garden entertainment 1ast summer, that one fails to Bes its appro- priateness in & church whers such blue Prasby- terianism as that of Dewitt Talmage finds-desp root. CHURCH DEBTS. Moody eaid a good thing tho other day when bo remarked that the deyil had & lien on every charch that wag in debt, and as one of the daily popers added, that was equivalent to saying he Would tind many a resting place in New York. The number of churchea out of debt in thia city and Brooklyn is very few. Oue of themis Dr. Cuyler's, in Lafayetta avenue, Brooklyn. At the annual business meeting, night before last, Dr. Cugler was present and congratulated his mem- bers that during the past year the Charch had paid off all its indebtedness, and was supporting several outside missions very handsomely be- eide. He concluded by offering a resolution that no mortgage shail be mude on the present church. property for ten years from this date without the pnaoimons conseént of every member of the church; and he very pleasantly kaid he hoped Buch an unanimous consent wauld never be given. Dr. Hepworth's big congregation wor-~ ships in & building literally covered with mort- gages. His audiences are immense, bnt his memhers, or sooiety, ae it is called, is quite mea- gre, andit is doubtful If the church property woald sell for the amount of its iucambrances. Beavry, MY FIRST TRIP WITH JO. 1t is eeldom in this world that our expectations are- realized ; hence, “blessed aro those that expect nothing." Yet once m. my life—onr lives rather—tha reality surpaksed the dream, = *¢ Let us be married in the gutnmn, dear,” Jo £id to me many years ago. Jo.was my laver, and we were both young and bappy. **I want my wedding-day to bo ane of thoze galden days,” be £2id, and 50 we chose 2 day right ia (ke mid- dle of October, and it was as beantiful as October days can be when they try. In the drst place tho sorsbine was 80 bright,—brighter it seemed to ua than ever before; pechaps ic wes the love in our oyes that lelped it to look.so, and all lhf! trecs in our neighborhood were dressed so brightly in gold sud crimson. I thought it was 6o kind of them to puton their gala rabes for ue, when they must havo known sway down in their honest hearts that ere our honeymoon had waned they would be stripped of their besuty. Buc nature is " over besoeching us by her exam- Ple to be uneslfish. - Alas! wo seldom hebd ber. Tndeed, you would never bLave imagined oo our weddiog' day that winter was S50 near ; it scamed as though autumn bad melted into an- other summer more perfeot than tho one just gone. Abl Ithought in our bearts—Jo's and mine—thero would always bo oue season,—the summer of loye. 1 thiok, and others thought so too, that T looked very nicely in my pretty white dress. Jo anid I was lovely, and, after all, what did it mat- ter how Ilooked, aslong sshe was plessed? Howlike s dream it seems now, the ride o church, the walk up the aisle, the clergyman’s ‘words which madeus one, and then thelide boms again, and thenit wasall over,—such s wondetful thing to be begun and finished in such & littlo while, o like the lust great change which will come to Jo and Isometime when we will pn:l 80 quickly and quiotly from time to eter- nity. 1 wondor if all girls felt aa T did when I left the people all down atairs and weut up to my pretty hitle room to . prepars for our wedding jourey. I took off my whito dress, folded it away caretully, donnod my traveling suit, and then sat down to look a good-by to my room that would never Lo mine again. xes, Iloved Jo, and X was glad I was married and all that, yet leaving home is a sad loaving at best. The future might have much of joy in store for me. I hoped so, yot I Lnew that most of the days in the past spent in that little room were happy aavs. In one corner was & box filled with school-girl letters. On the walle bung wy favorite pictures,—how I foved them all !—and it seemed &8 though a thousand tender memories clustered around every object now that L was leaving them forover. Bug they were waiting for me down-stairs, S0 L bryshed the toars away, and took my departure. As the door closed [ realized that oue chapter of my lifo was finished. Aftor all the mssiug and band-shaking was over, and we had been cried aud Iaughed and prayed over, wo left in advance of several old shoes, and arrived at Niagara in due seasou, I think it was exceedingly foolish in Joand I to g0 to Niagara, and we thonght 80 before wo left ; bat it wae our first wedding trip; of course wo wonld be wiser now conid we bave it over. It rawmed when we arrived at Nisgara ; it rained all the time that we wora there, snd Oh, bow it rained when wo left. We sat at » table with & dozen other mewly- wedded pairs; were drven around by a youth from the green isle of Erin in the wake of newl -wedded pairs; we saw tho Twin Bisters when they did; we 8aw tho whirlpool when thoy did; we bought foather-fans and pin-cushions when they did; and also kept. them company when they paid out any number of dollar-bills for crossing bridges, aod for basing our pictures taken-in-the-carniave-without-getting-out. When we left Niagars, we left with heavier hearta and lighter purses. The ratn followed us to Toronto, where we spent a quiet, religious Sunday ; indeed, the old city's Sunday behavior was so different from that of our own city that it depressod us. And 50 we journeyed on, 1In the same car Wwith us were a gentieman and his wifo who bad been doing the States. He was s remarkable mean. I called Jo's attention to the size of his nose, and the quality ,of bis voice ; the atter was_ exceedingly deep, and the former was ex- ceedingly long. Ho startled mo when he gave his orders at tho table, where we waited twenty minutes for refreshments. - Two teas, one wesk.” The wesk ono wasfor Lislittle wife, and I would havo thought that tho poor thing would have needed sometliog sLrong 1o have en- abled ber to bear with bis peculiarities, but I suppoee be knosw best. She had ber maid with her, and I think if anything could compensate one for hevint s cross husband it must be s msaid. How gelightful it must be to have some one to pack your trunks, brush your drosses, sud sew buttons on your gloves. Joand I spout one day inm the country, near Montreal, where he lived once upon s tme. Oh dear | how funny bis old sweethearts looked in their prim picturea m the family albom. He used to talk of them daring our courtship, sud somo times I felta wee bit jeslous of s old loves, buz after I saw them I felt easier in my mind. The nicest walk we bad was down by ihe bright St. Lawrence. When I grew tired ciimbiug up 8nd down rongh places, we sat down to xest, and waited for a canal-bost to take us back szam. How peaceful tne river looked as we glided along. **Oh1 Jo, dear,” I whispered, “1f our fives could only be a3 peacefal and calm as this." He did not. snswer, save by a look of unuticrable love. That evening wo started for Montreal, a fow hours' zide. Near useat two French nuus, one pust middle life, hale and hesity, the othern mere child in appearance, and so pale aud white, How patient she was. Jo and I were fuil of glowing anticipations of the future,~—our future. She too was dreaming of the future, judgiog by her peaceful face, ut it was not of earth. Mon- treai wae cold, bright, and bustling. We went round the moantsin,—I believe every one does tuat; visited the quiet monasteries and the handsome chwiches ; bought some perfumeries. and gloves, just for the fun of emuggling; took some chesp rides in those dear little cabs, and then we left. B ‘What 2 delightful journey it is from Montreal to New York, sod_through those thrifty New England towns. We caught such sweet glimpses of ~ shndy walks and romantic nooks— jost tho places for love-making Jo said. But then I told him he could make love delightfully anywhere. When we reached New York wo found it advisable to take out our best clothas, aaod try to look as well a8 poseible, for evorybody elso Jooked so dressed- up. Iam sure, though, that we did not succeed in looking like pativea, 50 L felt anxious to gt home again. ‘‘Jo, desr, go out sud amuse yourself,” I said to him, “and I will do the packing,” and I proceeded to put my hair in Ppapers,—crimps are 8o becomiog, and I always like to look as well as poseible, for men will make comparisons. Perhaps I fell into 2 reverio or Weut to 8le6p; Buyhow, my Dacking was pot begun, = snd my bair was siill ip pspers, when my hero appeared and announced that time was up: he gave one startled glance around the room, then he went to work manfully i evary sense of the word, and in & very_fow moments my slender wardrobe was being dragged dowa 8tairs, follow~ ed by bis_slenderer one. - Love 18 blind, I know, for Jo did not notice those curl-papers uatil we were many miles on our journey. ‘What a stormy moraiog it was when we reach- ed homo. How the waves dashed against the old breakwater, and how zolemn the sky looked ip tho early morning light. I was begianiog to gel a little solemn, too, but just then I looked up st Jo, and i his eyes there shone such tender Jove for me that I realized more fully toan over before how God bLad blessed mein giving me a tirm, stanoch Leart to atand between me and the storms of life: ‘*Homo sgain, darling,” he whispers. **Yes,” I angwered, dreamily, for I am thinking how sweet all places would be with him. Farra WALTON. ST. VALENTINE'S DAY. Hark! ting-a-ling! The postman’s ring! T'll just peep through tha shutter; Avalontine ! It must be mine ! 2y hoart's all in a futter. “ 3fiss Frances C.” Yes, that’s forme! What lovely writing on it1 ‘Whose 18 1t, pray 7 ) Ohlis ito Propossl, or ssonnet 7 T'll eet an early day; . Lev'a break the seal] < It comic Tal Ox10400, February, 1816, NRAKOES CORGTANT, GOSSIP FOR THE LADIES. “What My Lover Said”---Bea- trice’s Intended Husband, A Leap-Year Episode in Nevada, and a Short Honeymoon at Mobile. Easy Arithmetic---What a Woman Didese A Collection of Feminine Jo« eosities. WHAT MY LOVER SAID. By the mereat chaace, in the tilight gloom, 1 o orchard-pats be met me— 1n the tall, wet grass, with its faint perfume— Abd I tried to pass, but he made no Toom Oh ! iried, but he would not let me; So 1 atood and blushed till the grass grew red, With my face bent down above it, ‘While be ook my band, a8 be whisp'ring sajd— (How the clover lifted each pink, sweet. head, To listen to all that my lover sad; Oh 1 tho clover in bioom~—I love'1t 1) In tno high, wet grass, went the path to hide, And the low, wet lesves huog over; But I codld not pass upan eitber sids,” For I found myself, when X vainly trlg In the arms of my steadfast lover, And he held me there, and e raised my head, While o closed the path before ma; And he looked down {nto my eyes and safd— (Bow ihe leaves bent down from the boughs o’erhead, Lo listen 10 all that my Jover said ; Oh | the lesves hanging lowly oler met) Tiad be moved aside s little way, 1 could aurely then bave pasted him; And would not have beard what be had to say, Could T only aside bave cast him, 1t was ajmost dark, and the moments aped, ‘uight-wind found But he drew me uearer and softly ssfd— {How the puro, aweet wind grew still, instesd, To listen 1o all that my lover said ; Ol 1 the whispering wind around usl) X am suro ho knerv, when he held mo fast, ‘That ITmust be all unwilling ; For I tried to go, snd I would Bave paased, As the night was coming with its dew at lask, And the aky with stars was filling ; ) But he clasped me closer when I would have fed, And he made me hear bis story, And 1tfa goul came out from his lips and said— (How he stars crept out where the white moon led, To listen 1o all that my lover sald ; Ob 1 the moon and stara in glory 1) I know that the grass and leaves will not tell, And D' sure that the wind—precious rover— Will carry his secrot 80 safely and well f ‘That no teing sliall ever discover One word of the many that rapidly fell From the eager }ips of my lover,— Stiall never reveal what s fairy-like spell, They wove round about us that night in'the dell, In the path through the dew-laden clover ; For echo the whispers that made my heart awell Asthey fell from the lips of my lover. -H. G. 1n New York Evening Pist. THE PRINGESS EEAET!?ES DESIGNATED HUS- 1t has been telegrapbed (says the Philadelphia Press) that Queen Victoria ia about to sanounce the intended marrisge of hér youngest daugh- ter, Beatrice, and ask for the usual outfit and a lifa sllowsuce of 30,000 per apoum for the ‘bride, who ig in her 19th year. According to the Act of Settlement, whereby William and hia wife wera confirmed as joint sovereigns of England, 00 member of the Royal family can marry a Catholic without forfeiting hia or her status. Under the Royal Marriage act, passed in 1772, no Eoglish Prince or Princess can marry under the rank of roralty exoept by special permission of the Bovereign and the Parliament, which was granted in 1871, when the Princess Louise was wedded to the Msrquis of Lorne, s sub- ject, thongh heir-appareut to = Scottish Dake- dom. In consequence of the above restric- tions a8 to religion and royalty, the members of the reigning family of England bave to look abroad for Protestant allisuces. With the ex- coption of two marriages, with s Danish and a Ruseisn Princess, Germany has supplied Prot~ estant bachelors and maids. It has been re- contly doclared that the selected husband of the Princess Beatrice is_‘*the Prince Louis of Bat- tenberg, now in India with the Prince of wales,"” and, sithough the London Telegraph has contradicted this report, contradiction from such a gonrce is not conclusive. We do not recoilect that any such - young gentleman was a member of the Prince’s suite, nor that he was mentioned among_his companions, After much search through Murray’s Hand-Books, the Almanachds Gothg, and an old volume of German genealogy, we discovered, in Lippiocott's Gazetteer, that there is & town calied Battenberg in Hesse- Darmstadt, with 5 population of 95,~a place so small that it 18 Dot even pamed by Marray ; and in an old volume of the Almanach de Gotha we found that a cadet of the Hesse-Darmstadt houso hsa married, in 1851, *Julie, Princess de Battenberg,” daughter of the late Count de Hancke, and that Lonis-Aloxandre, bora in May, 1854, was the eldest of fourSons there- from. This R'Om!g man is probably the desig- pated husband of the Princess Beatrice. 1t may be assumed that, whatever his descent, ha is not overstocked with wealth ; but this does not mat- ter much, secing that Parliament will provide a large aunual allowance, that Victoria will give “tne happy couple ” & tent-free furnished pal- ace, aud that when Leopold. her Alsjesty's an- cle, married the Yrincees Charlotte, then beir- ess-apparent to the Britieh crown, his worldly possesaions consisted of an allowapice of €1,500 & year from Lia father, then Grand Duke of Sexe-Coburg-Saalefield. - "°A LEAP-YEAR EPISOD Virginia (Nev.) Chronicl tory, sh? Not much, Jidge. + You plead not guilly, then 2" * Cours I do.” It was clearly proved, however, that William T. Bilge had koocked down Mrs. Annie Lefalone, a widow—not only once, but several times. There wereno witnesses for the defense, and thiogs looked blue for William. Then he was sworn in his own behalf. Mr. Bige, a8 he stood up before Judge Cox, could not b called besati- ful. His face was wrinkled and dirty; one eye was missing ; & piece of his nose was gone—bit- ten o in the good old days when Virginia wasn't the law-abiding town she has gince grown to be. William's clothes were ragged and greasy. What little bair he bad left hung abont his coat~collar ; and his toes—toes that had toddled over rough ways for fifty years and more—peeped out from the broken boots to view the wWintry aspect of i 6. 441 was sittin’ on a rock down in Six-Mile Can- yon yesterdsy,” began Mr. Bilge. struggling with his_emotion, ** thiskin’ what I'd better do to Dick Moyers for hustlin’ me out of his saloon, when aiong comes this here washorwoman. {1t was in evidence that Mrs. Lefalone toiled ac the tub professionally when Chinese laundries wonld eogage ber.] Sezshe, ' Howare you?' ¢ How's yourself !’ gez+1; fur, never seein’ tha lady be- fore, I was bound to be p'lite. *Got any grub in yer seams ?’ sez she. *Hey 2’ gez L clutetin’ the results of my mornin's divio'round the saloons. *Shake out yer fodder,’ sez she, drop~ in’ down oo another rocl an’ wipin‘ her month with the tail of her dress, huogry-hke. * Iwas al- wayaa favorite with the Iadics,” procesded Ar. Bilge, with a slight congh, ‘‘and of -course L couldn’t resist sick pressin’ attention. I gev her » cracker an’ a bunk o’ cheeso that I'd nabbed at Baroey the Bruiser's; and damme, yer Honor, I'd have let her walk 'into the cold chop in my. vest-pocket if she'd on'y behaved herself. Jigde, what d'ye think that woman did afore she'd eb up half I'd give her?” I don't know, I'm_sure, ssid his Honor with 2 yawn, *“but I wish you'd hurry through with your story.” - < All right, sir, yours tiuly, William T. Bilge, Esquire. at your service. I was estin’ slow to 'Sault an’ bat- meke things last, when suddenly this female gits hold on_my hand, an'sezshe, ‘Air you married?’ *Hoy?'saysL *Air yonmarried?’ sez she. ‘Not wunac,’ gez I ‘Glory. gays ehe; ‘it's leap year, 8o have me.' That's sll, yer Houor, Asagen'lemin I don't want 10 go into disgustin’ perticklers "about evil attemps, etsettery, but "— e *+Did you strike her, Bilge?" inquired his Honor., Did I strike her! * cried the old bummer, Dfting his hands in amazement: * Courso L did. I'd puncn the head of any womsan whau'll ssk me to marry her—if she—if she inaigts on it,you ko 'he prisoner was discharged. A SHORT HONEYMOON, Going up the street about 10 o'clock one night recently (says the Mobile Register) s citizen heard the sounds of a fiddle, banjo, snd a tam- borine, As he neared the point from which they proceeded, he heard footsteps keeping tume to tho music and a voice calling out the figures of & cotillion. He 8oonlearned it was & negro wed- ding frolic. * Just as he arcived in front of the house a lond, sogry voice called out: “‘Stop dat ‘music immedistely I” It stopped, and the dan- cing coasad in the midst of the figure: ** What's de mattab, Bam 2" said anothes voice; **what do vou mean by stoppin’ de dance?” I means jea Tzactly what I say!" anewered Sam; “I 'gaged dat band myself ta play for dis party; Ise da bogs ob dis "casion ; de band shan’t play no_mo! Dis party. shan't go on; do ball's broke up. Gem- men and ladies, you can all go home!” * What in de zame ob sense is do mattah wid dat niggah ?” was tho speech that camo from all parts of the room. - What's do mattab, Sam; you talk like s crazy niggah?” * Nolse not crazy,” said the gno addressed. * [38 awine to havoadivoce! I gwine to have s divoce! Dat's what 132 gviue to have!" ' Divoca! divoce!™ spoke several voioes together. * What's dat niggah thinkin' "bout 7 He ain't bin wmarned more’n two hours, and he's talkin’ 'bout gittin adivoce. He's crazy sho'. You's crazy, Sam ! “1 tell you Tse mot crazy,” eaid the Iatter. ¢ [Tore Ise bin conrtin Lueinda for two 3ears, with honnablo intenshuus, and she's bin makin’ me balieve she had money; dat she was rich, and now sho teils me she awn't got but a dolla—s dolla. Stop de music, I eay! Dis party's broke up. When dis clulo marries a gal for her money, sbe’s got to bave more'n & dolia, or I wou't live with her a mimt ; Ise gwine to quit 1n time. - What's & dolla to a man wid a family #' ** Dat’s mare'n you've got anyhaw, you good for nuffin, Iazy. no- account niggah, you ! here chimed in Lucinda. “Nex' time I mayry for money, it’s got to be counted out befo’ do preacher ties de knot," said Bam. “Ise gwine to get a divoce immediately !’ E£ASY ARITHMETIC. . In Lady Wood's new novel, ** Below the Salt,” one of (he characters gives a definition in arith- metic that will be quite acceptable to onr young 1ady readers (eays Harper's Magazine). Edgar is speaking to Pleasance : “ Now I kiss you three times on one cheek, and four times on vour month. How many did that make alto- " whispered the gir), disengaging herselt to more freely. ‘hat i8 aridlimetic,” s31d the youth, triumphantly. ‘*Desr me,” said Pleasance, ** I should not have thougnt 1.7 Cept. Marryat, in his novel of *Snarleyow,’ makes one of his characters sing a song carrying the sawe agresable conceit : Then Harry said, © As time s short, Addition you must firat be taught ; Sum up these kisses, sweet. Now prove your sum by kisslog me. Xes, iiat was right : ‘twas thres times three— ‘Avithmeticly s treat. - _ * And now there is anotber term, BSubtraction you heve yet to learn : “Take four away from thesc, Tes, that was right; you'va made it out,” Haya Mary, with a pretty pout, “Subtraction don't me plesse.” Division snd mulbiplication are taught in the 8ame pleagant way, aud the song ends with, “ And now we must leave off, my dear ; v The other rules a1 not 5o clear ; We'll try at them to 1 ht, T'll come at eve, my Henry wect ; Behind the hawthorn Ledga we'll meet; Yor learning’s my delight, WHAT A WOMAN DID. Bhe was an average woman. She was ina market on Woodward aveoue at balf-past 11 o'clock ; and there were five men in there, also. Sne wanted a bit of beef, a pinch of muttos, gome dried beef gliced very thin,—in fact, she wanted abut 29 conts’ worth of meat. Each man was eilent for ten minutes. Each one was im- patient for ten minutes more. Each one waited easctly twenty-one minutes for that womad'to pick and select and find fault, and then each ore stalked out to find some other shop. Five busi- ness men lost 105 miuuses, or ao hour and throe- quartens, whilo one woman, whose time wasn’s worth a cent an hour, bought 29 cents’ worth of mest. As the men went out, the first said the country was going to ruin. The second eaid be'd rather eat suow than loss any more time. Tbe thira ssid he'd lizo to Lill some ope. "Tho fourth esid the butcher was a fool and a lunatic, The fifth fell down as he went ouf, and he said— ‘but never mind.---Delroil Fres Lress. TYNDALL'S INTENDED. A brother sasaot (says the Brooklyn Argus) recently rallied Prof. Tyndall upon the eubject of his rumored eogagement to & daughter of Lord Bamilton. The great scientist didn't deny the soft impeachment. Encouraged thereby, his friend pursued the subject with the view of dis- covering what epecisl attraction conld have con- quered a man who bad so_long resistad the fas- cinations of the sex. “Is she prettier than other ladies you have seen ¢” he asked. * No.” *+Is slie wittier ?” * No." *Ig she mare cul- tivatedz” *+No.” “ What, then, is her particu- larcharm?” * She hsa less dynamic force,” 8aid the Professor. FRIGHTENED HIM OFF. He was on his knees to her. His face was flashed, his eyes glesmed passionately iato hers, he talked rapidly: *‘Nothing shall sapa- rate us evermore, my darling. For your sako I will beard the Jion in his den! I will face death on the battle-field! I will skim the eeas! I will endure all bardsbip, all suffering, all mis- ery1” Ho paused and looked esgeriy to Ler, with his whole son! quivering in his eyes, ““Will you do all this for the sake of my love " said she, gazing earneatly into the burning eyes. “ Yes, yes; a thonsand timesyes!” ** 5 if we wad,” continued she, flushiog slightly, ** will you get up fiust and build the fire?” With 5 shriek of despair Lie fied.—Danbury News, MISCELLANZOUS NOTES. ‘Woman proposes, and msan gits up and gits, this year. When a widow with children marries, she be- comes & pa-taker at the wedding feast. 1z ia 8 thin excase for a.young lady to lie abed uatil 9 o'clock in the morning because this is eleep-year. Nothing is 0 fatal to the romance of & kiss as to bave yonr girl sneeze at the very climax of osculation. Don't marry till you can support a husband. That’s the advice the Bamstable Patriol gives the Cape girls. « Marrisge,” e2id sn unfortunate busband, « ig the churchyard of love.” * And yon men,” roplied hus wife, ** are the grave-ciggers.” Before his marriage, Bronghue praised the ar- tistic manner in which his wife *banged” her bair. Now he compiains of the cruel manoer in which she bangs hia head. B Mias Aona Dickinson's new lecture is entitled *¢ owing and Reaping.” And an old bachelor cruelly says that Sewing and Ripping would be a more appropriate subject for women. The most popular leap-year necktie smong the young gentlemen is the one that is incased in & Deat dress-sleeve. and will pass around just far enough to tie nicely near the mustache. To a bachelor whose affections are without an anclior, perbaps there is nothiug more aggray: ing than the spectacle of a beautifnl woman; with her slesves rolled up, scratching her hus- band’s back. If your husband can't got you anew bonnet ith a hen-hawi on ita crest, yon bave the satis- faction of knowing that the Alfonsists have de- feated the Carlists ina recent engagement in the north of Spain. Forward and loguscions yonth: * By Jove, you know—upon my word, now—if I were to sco a ghost, you know, 1 would be = chattering idiot for the rost of my life.” Iugenuous msiden: “ Haven't you scen & ghost? When aman detects a missing button after getting on a clean shirt, no one in the house is aware of the fact. He takes off the Bbirt and puts on another, quietly emiling a1l the while. He never, never speaks of it to a soul. When & man empties the pocketa of his cost, preparatory to laying it by for repairs, there's nothiog that makes his conscience get mpon its hind legs quicker than the eight of the letter his wife gave him to mail two months ago. Bismarck is bald-headed, but you don't catch any German newspapers saying that Mrs, Bis- marck i3 high-tempered woman, or mkinimdy jokes sbout bald Leads generally. The bald- headed man in that country 18 looked up to, “Xrs. Splinks,” observed a boarder to the 1andlady of & Munson street caravansary; ** the equal adjustment of this establishment could be ‘more safely secured if there was less hair 1o the hash and more in the mattrosses.”—Dandury News. ] never saw you looking better in my life,” ssid s gentleman, salutiog his friend in the walting-room of the Mercautile Library, yester- day. ‘*Indeed,” returned the othe: has been absent mince lzst fall. Argus. Mary’s Difficnlty.—Mistress—* Let you go to evening school, Mary? Why, I thonght you conld read!” Mary—** Well, ma'am, I does know my letters fustrate, 8o long's they keep allin a row; but, just a8 soon a8 toey gits mixed up into worda, I'm beat I" & case came up for trial in & French Court, and, aa the evidenca was expected to beof a certain character, the Judge intimated the fact, and requested the deceat women to withdraw. Not & soul moved. **Usher,” said the Judge, * now that the decent women have withdrawn, tara out the rest.” MEMBRANOUS CROUP, The Experiences of the McWill- iamses with That Dread Disease. A Striking Exemplification of the Depth of Maternal Lova. 4 Sketeh by Mark Twain, Well, to go back to where I was bafors I digressed to explain to you how that frightfal and incurable disease, membranous eroup, was ravaging the town and driving all mothers mad with.terror, I called Mrs. McWilliams® attention to little Penelope and said : *¢ Darling, I wouldn' let that child be chewing thas pine stick, if I were you."” e * Precions, where is the barm in it?” said sbe, but at the eamatime prepariog to take away the stick—for women cannot receive even. the most palpably judicions muggestion without arguing it ; that is, married women.” ** Love, it is notorious that pine is the loast nutritions wood thata child can eat.” Ay wife's band paused, in the act of taking the stick, and returned itself to her-lap. She ‘bridled perceptibiy, and said : . ‘*Hubby, you know battor' than that. You know you do. Doctors all say that turpentine in pine wood is good for weak back and the kid- Deys.” ftAh! I was under s misapprebension, Idid not koow that the child’s kidueys and spioe ware affected. and that the family physician bad recommended—"" 3 **Who said that the child's epine and kid- neys were affected 2 My love, vou intimated it.” ““The idea! I nover intimated anything of tho kind."” y _Why, my desr, it Lasn’t been two minutes sioce you said—r ‘- Bothor what I 8aid! T don't care what I did sny. There isn't any harm i Lts child's chew- ing & bic of pie stick if she wauts to, a0d you know it perfectly well, And she shal chew it, too! So thers, now!™ ** Spy no more, my dear. Inow gee the force of your reasoning, aud L will go snd order two or three cords of the best pine wood to-day. No child of mine shall want while I—* ++0, please go along to your office, and let me bave some peace. A body can never maks tho simpleat remark but you must take it ap and go to arguing, and arguing, and arguing till you don't know what you are talking about, and you necer do.™ “Very well, it sball be as you say. But thers is & want of logic in your last remark which-—"" However, she was gone with a fiounish _before I could finish, and bad taken the child with her. That pight st dinger she confronted me with a face a3 white as a sheet. 0, Mortimer, there's another! Little Georgie Gordou is taken.” s * Membranous oroup = + Membranous croup.” *Is there any hope for him 2" * None in the wide world. O, what is to be- ome of ua?" By and by our rurse bronght in onr Penelope to ay good-pight and offer the customsary prayer at the mother’s knee. In the midst of “Now I lay me down to sleep,” she gave a slight cough. My wife fell back like one stricken with death. Bat the nest moment she was up and running away with the activeness which terror inspires. She commanded thas the cluld’s orib be re- moved from the nursery to our bed-room; sad 8he went along to Bee the order_ezecated. Sno took me with her. of course. We got matters arrapged with speed. A cot bed was put up in my wife's dressing-room for the purse. But now Mrs. MeWilliams said wo were too far away from the other baby, and what if he were to have the symptoms io the night,—and she blanched again, poor thing. We then restored the crib and the nurse to the nurserv, aud put up & bed for ourselves in & room adjoining. Presently, howaver, Mre. McWilliams_said, suppose the baby should catch it from Penel- ope? This thought strack s new panic to her heart, and the tribe of us could not get the crib out of the nursery again fast enough to satisfy my wife, thongh the assisted in her own porsoa and well nigh pulled the crib to pieces in her {frantic burty. We moved down-gtairs, but thers waa no place to stow the nurse, and Mrs. McWillisms said the nurae’s experience wonld be aa inestimable help. 80 we returned, bag and_bsggage, to our own bed-rooms once more, and felt a great gladness, 1iko storm-buffeted birds that iave found their nest again. 5 Mrs. McWilhdms sped to the nursery to see bow things were going on there. Sbe was back in s momeot ®ith a new dread. Sbe gaid : i‘ “:Ién can make the haby sleep so 2" said ¢ * Why, my darling, Baby aluways sleaps hike & graven image.” I know, [ kuow ; but there's something pe- caliar about his sleep now. He seems to—ho seoms to broathe Eo regularly. O, this is dread- fattn But, my dear, he always breathes regularly. +0b, T know 1t, but thore'a sowething dread- fal sbout it now. His nurse is too young and sinexporienced. Maria sball stay there with her, and be on hand if anything happena.” 7 “ ;flnz is & good ides; but who will help souz " AR **You can help me all I want. X wonldn't al- low anybody to do anything but myself, anyhow, at such & time as this.” 1 said I would feel mean to lie abed and sleep, and leave her to watch and toil over our little patient all the weary night. But she reconciled me to it. 60 old Maria departed and took up her ancieot quarters in the nursery. Penelope conghed twice in her sleep, +Ob, why don't tne doctor come? Mortimer, this room i8 too warm. This room is certainly too warm. Turo off the register—quick " Isbut it off gisvcing at the thermometer at the same time, and wondering to myself if 70 was too warm for a sick cinld. The coachman arrived from down town, now, ‘with the news that our phrsician was ill and con- fined to bis bed. AIrs. McWilliams turned a dead eye npon me, and said in & dead voice: * Thers is providence m it. It is foreordained. He never was sick before. Never. We havenot been living a8 we ought to live. Mortimer, tima and time agotn T have told you so. Now you ses tho result. Our child will never get well. Be thaukful:f you can forgive yourse!f. I nevercan forgive myself.” L'seid, without intent to hurt, but with heed- Tess choice of words, that I could not see that we bad been living such an abandoned [ife. “ Mortimer ! Do you want ta bring the judg- ment upon baby, too ! " Then she began to cry, but suddenly ex- claimed : ) i‘ T!:;x doctor must have sent medicines ! ™ said : “ Certainly ; they are here. T was only wait- ing for you to give me a chsnco.” * Well, do give them to me ! Don’t yon know that every moment is precions now ? But what was the usen sending medicines, when he knows that the disesse is incarable ? ” I said that while there was life there was ope. “Iiope! Mortimer, you know no mors what inu are talking about than the child unborn. £ you would As [ live, the directions say give one teaspoonful once an Lour! Once so hour!—as if we had & whole year before us to save the child in! 3ortimer, pleaso harry. Give the poor perishing thing & tablespoonful, and fry to be quick!"” **Why, my aear, a tabfa- spoonful might—" * Don’t drive me frantic! . . . (Thero, thero, there, my pre- cious, my own; it's nasty, bitter staff, but it's good’ for Nelly—good for mother's precious dariing ; and it will make ber weil. There, there, there, put the little head on mamma's breast 2nd go to sleep, and pretty 0on—Ob, I know she can’t live till morning! Mortimer, a tablo- spoouful every balf-hour will——Ob, the child needs belladonna, too: I know she does—and aconite. Get them, Mortimer. Now do let me h):vum way. Yoo know nothing about these thinge.” We now went to bed. placing tho ctib cloze to my wife's pillow. All this turmoil bad worn upon me, and within two mioutes I was some- thing more than half ssleep. Mra. McWilliama roused me: 5 “ ]\Ju}ing, is that register turned on? wNor I thought a8 much. Plesse tarn 1t on at once. This room is cold.” I turned it on, and presently fell asleep again. 1 was aroused odge more, * Dearie, would you mind moving the crib to your side of the bed? It is nearer the register.” 1 moved it, but had a collision with the rug and woke up the child. Idozed off once more, while my wife quieted the safferer. But {o & little while these words came murmuring re- motely torough the fog of my dromsiness: **Mortirer, if we only had some goose-grease —will you ring " I climbed drearily out, and stepped on s eat, which responded With s protest. and wonid have got a convincing kick for it if a chair had not got 1t instead. **Now, Mortimer, why do yon want to twn cp thegas and wake up the child sgain ?” *Becauso I want to ses how much I am hurt Caroliue.” * Well, look at the chair, too,~I have nt¢ dogbl it is ruined. Poor cat, suppose yor “Now, Iamnot going to suppose mythinz{x about the cat. It never would have occurred i Maria had been allowed to remain _here and at- tend to tneso duties, which are in her hne, and aro not in mine.” ** Now, Mortimer, X should tbink you wocld bo ashamed to make a remark like that. It is & Pty if you cannot do the few little things that L sk of E‘nn at such an awful time as this, when our chiig—" ** There, there, I will do anything you want. Bat I can’t raise anybody with thia bell. Thev're ellgona to bed. Whera is tho goose-grease 2" *'On the mantel-piece in the nursery. If you'll stap there ana speak to Maris— I fetehied the goose-greas and went to slasp agein. Once more I was called. ** Moztimer, I €0 hato to distarb you, but the zoom m‘x‘s(nn'éw cold, !%r meto tryto lp?lyx :hiu - Wonld you mind lighting the fire ? is all ready to touch s mnlcbgw." 5 1 dragged myself out ang lit the fire, and thea sat down disconsoiate. ** Mortimer, don’t sit thers death of cold. Come to bed.™ 2 nfi;fla .I:Epplng ini_“; 8ai *But wait o moment. Pleasa some more of the medicine.” 70:the ‘chlld Which [ did. 1t was a medicina which made & cbild more or less lively ; 80 my wife made usa of its wakiug interval to atrip it and grease it all over with the goose-oil. I was soon asleep once more, but once mora I had to get up. * Mortimer, L feal a dratt, 1 feel" it distioct- {1;. Thero is nothing so bad for thia diseass a3 a aft. Please move the enb in front of the fire.” I did it, and collided with the rug mgain, which Ithrew into the tire. Mrs, McWillisms sprang out of hed and rescued it and wo had somo words.. I had another trifling iuterval of sleep, ana then got up, by request, and con- structed a flax-socd poultice. ‘I'nis was placed upop the child's breast aud left there to do itx healing work. A wood fire is not & permancunt thing. Igof up every twenty minutes and renowed ours, ana this gave Mrs. McWillisms an opportanity te shiorten the times of giving the medicines by ter miputes, which was a great satisfaction to ner. Now and then, between times, I reorganized the finzaoed poultices, and applied sinapsms and other blisters where unoccupiod places conld by found upon the child. Well, toward morming thi wood gavo out, and my wife wanted-mo to ga dowu collar and get some more. Isaid: ** My dear, it is a laborious job, and the child must be nearly warm enough, with her oxtra clothing. Now, mightn’t wo put ou auother layer of poultices and—-" 1 did oot finish, because I was interrupted. I Ingged wood up from below for some little time, and then turned in and fell to snoring 28 only & man can whose strength is all govo and whose soul is worn ont. Last at broad davlight I felt 1 grip on.my showder that broughtme tom; senses ouddonly. Ay wife was glaring down o3 me and gasping. As 8oon a8 she could com mand her tongue she said : *Iv 18 all over! Allover! The child's per. spiring! What shall we do 2" A “Merey. how you terrify me! I don't know what we onght to do. Maybe it we scraped hei and put ber i the draft again—" 0, idiot! Thereisnotamomenttolose. Gu for the doctor. Go ,ouxsell. “Tell him he musi come, dead or alive.” I dragged tbat poor sick man from his bed 2nd brought him. He looked at the child, and eaid she was not dyiog. This was foy unspesk- able to me. but it made mv wife as mad as 1f be hod offered a personal afiront. Thea he said the child’s cougt was ouly cansed by some tri- 1ling wrritation or other in the throas. At this 1 thougbt mv wife had 8 mind to show him the door, Now the Doctor 8aid he wonid make the child cough harder and dislodge the trouble. Sc ho gave her eomething that sent her into 1 ®pasm of coughing, and prasently up came a lit- tle wood splinter or so. “This chuld bas no membranous croup,” saii and catch your he. **She has been chewing & bit of pine shingl( or something of the kind, and got some litels slivers in her throat, They won't do her any bart.” **No,"said I “Ican well believo that. In. deed, the turpentioe that is in them is very gooc for certain sorts of dixenses that are pocaliar ta childrea. 3y wife will.tell you so.” But she did not. She turned away in diedain, snd left the room: znd since that fime thers it ove episade in onr life which we never rofer to, Hence the tide of our days iows by in deep anc untroubled serenit; HUMOR. A new name for tight boots—A. corn-crib, The bardest kind of chasm to get over—Sar casm. The man who works with & will—The Probata Judge. Ten't an gim withoat a name synonymous with an ominous anonymons ? ‘When a singer sings to & losiog sudience, may it not be callea **sound without ceots” ? TWhy is a spendtbnifts purse like s thunder- clond? Becense it is continnally n-light'ning. A Massachusetts newapaper savs: * Ten mills make & cent—but not any ten mills in this xe- The extremes height of misery is a small boy with a new pair of rubber boots, and no mud or slosh in resch. When is a schoolboy lke a podage-stamp? When ho gets licked and put in & comner to muk him stick to his letters. “What is the interior of Africa principally used for?™” asked a teacherof a pupil. **For purposes of exploratiou,” was the reply.. A breed of dogs withont tails has been dis- covered in Africa ; and bow the mischievons bose there utilizo old tin kettles and fruit-cana, we cannot pretend to eay. The Sandswich Islands are goiog to adopt & new flag; but they can't decide whether to take » gras Boreeblanker with s hole in it, or an old vest with the back ripped out. Two Irishmen traveling, were robbed and tied in & wood. One, in despair, eried : ** Och, I sm uodoe ! Said the other: *- Faix, then L wislied yoa woald come 20d undo me.” A purchaser of a riserside property asked tha real-estate agent if the river dida’t sometimes overflow its banks. ** Well,” responded he, ** it isn't one of those sickly streams that are always confined to beds.” Across the walnnts and the wine: Engaclag child: *O Mr. Jonkins! do letme gee yox dripk !" Mr. Jeukins: **See medrink! What for, my dear?” Engagiog cbild: * Oh! mam~ ‘ma says you drink hike a fish.” A printer. haviog-occasion the other dsy to get the well-known line, Slave, I have set my life upon & cast { astonished the proof-reader with the following version : 5 Slave, T have sct my wife upon & cask! Book-3zent to lawser'a clerk, preatly bored: «Bir, you had better take that book ; you'll find it a remarksbly good investment, aud"—o Can you change & $10 bill?” asks the clerk. Ob. y23! Icau do that.” **Thea you've got & mighty sight more money than I have. Good day!™ = A man in Northampton, it is said, mads 8o many pairs of shoes in one day that it took two days to count them. e was a smart ove, but not equal to one in the County Tipperars, who built 80 meny miles of stone fence in ooe day z‘hu it took fum all night aod nest day to get ome. Wages are 10 cents 2 day in Chins; but with those 10 cents you can subseribe for a daily pa- per. buy & pair of striped stockingy, witness s play that lasts nineceen hoars, and havo a com- fortable sum left to send to tha benighted deni- Zens of the New World, to be used for mission- ary purposes. A man popped ioto the Post-Office and wanted to know how mach merchandise he could send1n one parcet. ** Four pounds,” was therepls. Then he blandly 8aid he thonght he would send cut to Arizona 4 pounds of those red toy balloons, in- flzted ; but be bad duticulty in gettiog out of the door in time to dodge a mail-bag. Tho following conversation took place_ths othier evening at a tea-tablo in Bangor, Me.: Five-year-old_to hia mother: *Motber, can I have a cooky 27 *No, myeon.” ¥ Mother, can Ibaves quarter of a cooky?” -*No, my son.” “Can I have a crumbof s mky?: “No! “Well, then, can I smell of & cooky ? It always seema abgurd to us to bear the hero or heavy villain 10 & melodrama exclaim, as ho secretes himeeif in a room i the castle or else- where, ** And—now—if—I—'m—discov-ored— Y'm lost—1'm loat!” when the stapidest boy 1o the top gallery kuows that if he's discovered ho's found—he's found.—Turner's Falls Reporter. 4 Yeg, sir,” remarked o red-nosed patriot, as he leaned one elbow on the whisky-bar, and crooked the other a® juss the aogle to' briog the rim of the empty glass to his nose, ** yea, sir, our country never had before the need of suck exalted statexmanship as in the present emer—"" just then somebody asked him to have another ink, and he forgot £0 finish the sentence. 3 i H i