Chicago Daily Tribune Newspaper, September 13, 1874, Page 8

THE CHICAGO DAILY TRIBUNE: SUNDAY; SEPTEMBER 13, 1874, TERMS OF THE TRIBUNE. i EATES OF SUDBCRIPTION (PATABLE IX ADVANCE). Dy, by mail S $: Tri- Weekls. 00! We Fastiory B teces, be sure and give Post “Foyresent delay an CEice nadress in full, including State and County. [ i Y Post wtces may be maac either bydrast, cxpress, CHcu o, armm romsicred jeners: 3t onfrisk. ¢! TE.DMS TO CITY SUDECRIDELS. unday eiccprea 2 cente per week. dvidne ipcinded. 3 conts vet weok, Daik; celivered. Sunges JURIBUN R COMPANY, Ceroer Madison and Dearborn-ses.. Chicazo, Ll Tavly, celivered, TO-MORROW'S AMUSEMENTS. ACADEMY OF MUSIC—Halstod strect, botween Mad- ron and Monros. Engagement of Pelmer's Comblas- tion. **The Black Crook.” M'VICKKR'S THEATRE--Madison strech, hetween Dearourn and State. Hagegoment of Josepls Jellorson. . ** Rip Van Winklo." GRAND OPERA-HOUSE—Clack street, opvosite Snerman Houss. Kelly & Levn's Minstrels. HOOLFY'S THEATRE—Randulob street, betweon | Clark ana teSaile. **Led Astsas.” H 3 between AMERICAN MUSEUM—Monros _street. o Desrborn and State. agement of the Lord Elliott Lonaon sariesque Com *« Cindorella.” EXPOSITION BUILDING—Lskeshoro, foot of Adams strect. SOCIETY LAFAYETTE CHAPTE Monroc-st. Regulnr convoca Sopt. 1, at 7% o'clock, fur businzss. . e F PY [AS.—Tha ofScers aad membars L L T“\!,A:m requested to et );xlnnlxl.‘ VG HARTE, K. of Reand 5. "EUSINESS NOTIC:S: Terdolph-4ts. 1 for. Tl Chivago Tribune, Sundsy Morning, September 13, 1874. THE RETRIBUTION. Goothe, in his celobiated criticism of the play of © Hamlet,” says thot Shakspeare endeavored o0 show bhow s great ciime once commitied stalks to en inevitable and remorscless retribu- tion, trampling down all who heppen to stand in its iron path, and turning into grinniog wockers all attempts to hinder its course. After the King hes killed bis brother and seized the erown there must bonday of judgment. All make- shifts and devices to avoid it only serve to ag- sravate and Leighten tho terror of tho catustro- phe. Nor do the guilty alone sufer. Ophelia, Zacrtes, Polonius, and Hamlet, beivg too uear 1ko vortes, are caught and carried down with the Eing and Queen. Such is life! rays tho Germon critic, and such was the great magician’s con- ception of 1t when he wove together the threads of that world-moving tragedy. The Beccher case bids fzir to farmsh anather Sllustration of the fatality that attends s crime, and frustsates zll attempts to conceal it. Sup- posing, for the purpose of iliuatration, that Mr. Peecher is guilty as charged, what o spectacle of retribgtion grinding the innocent snd the guilty together in an iudistinguishable mass is gisclosed to the view! Beecher himself, 3frs. Tilton (and perhaps others not yot named), the children of both, Mr. Tilton, brothers and sis- ters on both sides. parents, fiiends, churches, and societies! Nor does Moulton miss his share. Ile is too near the vortex to escape. Having been engaged in an attempt to suppress the truth, he awakes to find all his efforts {fruitless, and himself standing in the attitude of one who prevancales in order that another may bo & suc- ceseful hypoerite. He earns the condign wrail of all thoee whom be sought to serve, and gets nothing in place of it but tho discovery that hia prevarications aro now turned againet him to diseredit the truth. Whatever may bo tho upkhot of the controversy, his reflec- tions muat bo Dbitter and self-nccusizg. Noris Mr. Moulton the only cuttle-fish who has' been emotlerod in his own ivk. If we may credit his statement. Mr. H. B. Claflin, one of the Investi- gating Committee, wes long ago in posscesion of she whole etory from first hands, and neverthe- less joined wish AMoulion in efforss at conceal- ment, and afterwards allowed Limself to be se- jeeted as one who was fresh in the business and therefore an impartial judge. Henry C. Bowen sppears, too, in the attitude of a bunted ostrich hiding his bead in the sand and exposing his posterior to the shafts of his pursuers. The slaughter of reputations is tenfold worse than if everybody had esid in the beginning: *This is = crime against God and man—we will not soil ourselves with covering it up—wo wiil rot lio about it—let the Divine wrath find it out in its own good time.” Enough hes been said tosbow thie most ardent friend and* the most obdurate encmy of Jr. Beecher that the machivery now put in motion ‘mast grind out its doleful grist.: If Mr. Beecher i3 guilty, he must suffer, and bo one can wish his faze to bo worse then it will be. If he is inno- cent, his sccusers must sufler. Somebody must ‘e punished,—will be puviched. Devices have ‘been tried and proved worthless. They have turned into stings and bianding-irons in the bands of thewr inventors. The purties to the controversy—one or the other—must go down. They are as Two spent swimmers thot do cling together. The waves will close over ome of them, and that right speedily. There really never has been * achauce of compromise sinco Tilton published hie letter to Dr. Bacon, aud all talk of compro- 1mise now, on either side, is"a sheer death-rattle. They couldn't compromise if they would. The law must teke its coaree, both tho civil law apd the moral law. Tho former is merely the band- maid and detective officer of the latler, to point out the culprit and Land him over to the tor- mercors. 1n the forthcoming suit before Judge Neilzon, Tilton will Le on trial as much ae Beecher, and both can go on the witness-stand if they choose. But whether either elects to do so or not, the Brierous of iho law will reach out his handred hends and pull inthe reluctant witnesses fromevery quarter. Once in thegrasp and juris- diction of the court there need be no fear that the real truth wiil not bo' twisted ont of them. Tried this case must be, snd, even thougls it end ina irageds,'it must.end in esiablishing the facis to the satisfaction of that great jurr of the American peopio before whom it has come. HMoulton’s last sictement makes the caso 8o door of this sepulchre, that if thero besnything more disgusting than the crime charged npon Beecher with Mra. Tilton, it is a conspiracy of outsiders to furnish bim opportunity for repeat- ing it with others. INSURANCE IN CHICAGO. As the 1st of October approaches there is more orless anxiety to know whether there will be a withdrawal of the larger insurance companies on that day or not. In anticipation of this measuro, it has been geronsly considered among Iarge insurers, both of merchandise and build- ings, whether it would not be advissblo to or- gavize without delay at loast two additional home insurance compsnies. There are two thiugs which are complained of by the public: 1. That the insuranco companies propose to Withdraw unless certain conditions aracomplied with; 2nd 2. That such conditious aro of themselves un- f just and uncecessarily exacting. If wo under- stand the process of tho insurance agencics, it is that for certain alleged deficiencies iu the pro- teciion of Dbuildings they demand additional special rates, and, if this demand be not compliod with, they cancel tho policies, which is equiva- Iout to the witbdrawal of the company. These additional rates aro lovied on the basis of tho gize of the water-service pipes, and on certain fentures of coustraciion. Tho additional rates on the basis-of the vize of water-pipes are as follows: District. Ginehe Tibimen. Ay 5 2 Soutt:, north of Van Buren, ety : Sontn, south of Van Burca..qt0cis 75cts B0 cts Wert,pouth of Sixteenth strect.15) cta 10dets 56 cié of Sixiecntl: siroel 09 et Tcts S0cis 0L, eveee seeee. d00CtE Tocls SOty Hero we have sn advance of X, 3¢, to 8 of 1 per cent in the business part of the city, wh ere the service water-pipe in the street is below the xstandard of eight inches. The other exactious are, on all brick, stone, 2nd iron buiidings, an advance in rates per 2100, in the following csses: Composition roof, 15 cents ; Mansard roof, not nre-proof, om build- ings over 70 feet high, $1; wooden cornice on four-story buildiugs, 30 cents; for each story over four stories, 10 cents; for want of fire- walls above roof, 15 ceats; openings between Duildings, 10 cents; absenco of iron shutterson rear and side openings $1. . In any csse where s four-stors brick building io supplied with water by a less than 4-inch ser- vice-pipe, and las a composition roof without fire-walls, has wooden cornice and no iron shut- ters, the additional rate of insurance smounts to nearly 8 per cent, which is of itself au enor- mous rato of insurance, aud thero is csuso for the victun fo cry alond. Tho insurance compa- nies allege that these rates are made necessary because of deficiencies in coustraction, sll of which can be remedied at a comparatively small cost. As one ormore of these doficiencies ex- ist onmost of the houses in the city, there has been a geieral and costly esporicnce of ad- vanced rates, and as genersl a remonstrance. So general was this remonstrance, that the com- panies have felt compelled to issuo & letter (pub- lished in Tue TRIBUNE this mornieg) explaining ihe occasion and becessity for the advauced rates. Notwithstanding tho grost fire of 1871, and tho atarmiug as well as destructive five of last July, the Common Couucil have not given tho least attention to tho enactment of s proper building law. Tron shutters, fire-walls above Toofs, wooden Mansards and wooden cornices, aro matters that should be regulated by law. Such laws prevail elaawbero, and tend to the avoid- anco of fires. In the absence of any law, the insurance companies hava sougit by au increase of rates to induce owners of buildings to volun- tarily supply theso deficiencies. They stato that iron shutteis cost an average of 15 a wizdow, and their necessity has become 50 apparent that we understand the factories have, at this moment, orders four months shead of their capacity to furnish thom. That “doficiency™ Lherefore will be rapidly cured. Tho cost of building a fire-wall, three feet above the roof of & building, being genorally a party- wall, is inconsiderable, and owpers af buildings will hardly neglect to have them cou- structed. Three months’extra rats of insurance will pay for such walls on any building in the city., The removal of wooden cornices and com~ position roofs, and the substitution of others, which changes would long ago Lavebeen roquired by 1aw if the Common Councilbad done its ducy, are eaid to be inexpensive compared with the iucreased rate of iusurauce due to those de- ficiencies. The most swecping requirement is that occa- sioned by the smalluess of the water-service pipes on {he strects. Tha standard measure of such pipes fixed by Mr. Chesorough ia 8 inches. To teke mp all the service-pipe below this standard in the business part of the city wonld aggregato an immenso sum. The city has no rovenue, and can incur uo debt for that purpose. Bat the Board of Public Works declare that, if tke property-owners along any street wiil ad- vanoce to the city $1.50 per frout fiot of their Tote, that Board will take up the present small pipes and lay down the Iarge oues ; and that be- tween now and the close of the season, six or eight millions of feet of such servico-pips can bo changed. Thus, it appears that for $33 paid by Lhe owner of each 25-foot lot, he can have the small water-pipe replaced by a larger one, and therate of insurance reduced thereby from 3{ to 3¢ per cent. Tho difference in tho cost of insurauce and that of the water-pipo is 60 strik- ing that, in view of the confessod inadequacy of thie water supply, and the notorious iuability of the city to expend a dollar, wo coufess we think property-owners sland in their own light in not baving the change made as soon as possibie. An average expouditure of less than $500 on each five-story building will remedy all the substan- tial deficicncies in conscauence of which the insurance compavies bave imposed additional rates, ranging from 1 to 2i¢ per cent. The companies give notice that, 28 theso changes are made, the advanced rates will be abated. and the premium refunded,—they claim- ing thae it is more profitablo to insure at tho lower rates, if these changes be made, than at the advanced rates if no alteration take place. Under these circumstances, it is & question for property-owners to consider whether they will pay tho advanced rates, go without insurance, or adopt the change of construction demanded. In looking at this question it showtd be remem- much worso than it was before, that we. fancy o1l those who thought that even though Beecher were guilty'it were betier that no exposure bad been made, must change their opinion. For, if guilty, Alr. Beccher wos = systematic destroyer of female virtue, and every day that he remained unwhipped of justice wes fraught with peril to ihe families with whom ho came in contact. It is strange that this view did not ocear to Moul- ton when he discovered that Mrs. Tiiton was not the only woman ‘from Wwhom s 1tter. of retrac- tion was_necossary.- We concur with Dr, Leon- | bered thot, if weo had a Common Council of ordinary intelligonce and respectability, thero wouid bave long since beeh Iaw requiring iron shutters, ana fire-walls above the roof, and pro- nibiting wooden corzices, wooden 3Mansards, and composition roofs. After the election, if another large fire takes place, & law to that offect may be passed, and what is now demanded by the insurance companies will then be re- quired- by law. Will the oweera of valuable ‘property. voluntazily wait the enactment of that law and pay enormous extra insurance, or will tlley anticipatd the 1aw, and save the excessive insurance by remedying, at their own cost, the defects in their buildings ? It is conceded by all tho insurance agonts here, and by the Eastern managers of insurance com- panies who have visited hers, that the rebmilt Chicago is constructed in as substantial & man- ner, and is as good o firo risk, s any other business district in any city in the country. Their only complaint is that the City Govern- ment will not enact laws that are in forco in every other well-goveraed city, regulating build- ings, and thus leave an immense amount of val- uable property exposed to dunger, when under such laws a slight expenditure of money in a fow cases wonld render the whole comparatively safo. / A STAR PAPER. The recent statement which Mr. Moulton has contributed to the literaturo of the Beecher scaudal containg, perhaps, the most remarkable Star Paper of 3fr. Beocher's that bas yet appoar- ed.* Immediately aftor the time that Mr. Beech- er found Mrs. Tilton lying like ** a statuc of tho 01d World, palm to palm, like one praying,” sho writes a letter to him, which, whether she be in- nocent or gnilty, is not in that epistolary style which female parishionors uenatly adopt when addressing their spiritual consolers. It is a gushing vernal lyric, which a small bird has beon singing in ber heart—n small bird which hus obligingly **covenauted nover to leave her agein.” Not ouly the melody of this swall bird, but the bluc sky, and breezy atmosphere, and the oder of tlowery, are all purt and parcel of this remarkable little ode, which Lesbia might bhave written to Horace. Pic- turesque and gushing 88 s, T ton grows over the advent of spriag, the twittering of the emall ird, and the permenent engagement sho has effectod with her feathered songster,. Mr. Becchor's reply is a whole volumo of lyrics, a whole orchestra of music, and wiles of verral landscapo bespangled with flowers, compared with it. It is a pastoral, a pean, and & psalm, an cpithalamium like the song whick Soiomon sang #0 joyously. ‘*Does your heart bound towards all as it used ?” says Mrs. Tilton ; whersupon says Mr. Beecher: “Your no:d gave me an inward rebound.” Ar. Beecher hay not only bounded, but, like an india-rubber ball, 1o hay rebounded. Ho,is out of his **cave of gloom,” andina Jand flowing with milk and honey. e has completely recovered from the hypochondria, eud in his convalesconco he, too, like Mrs. Tilton, iinds the blessed and benign influences of spring all about him. He no longer hangs upon the ragged edgo of remorso, anxiety, and desparr, but, in tho fullucss of his 3oy, capers as nimbly as a kid. In the midst of his ecstasy, however, he does not forget prudemce. Sho is ‘‘all right,” she says; but it might bave been all wrong if Le had let his sudden joyfulness run away with his better judgment. So the bounding sbepherd takes a look about him. and finding the coast clear, writes: ““If it would be of comfort to you now and then to send me s letier of true inwarduess, the outcome of your inner life, it would besafe, for 1 amnow al kome here with my sster.” No Mrs. Beccher to wonder why Henrs Lad been ‘gazing st Mount Sivai, why he had traversed this barren waste,” why he had boen « alterrinting botweon tho hope and despair that marked the pilgrimage of old.* If sho had known this, thero might have been thubder and lightniug on Brooklyn Heights to which Sinai would have been a child's rattle. No Mre. Beecher to know that Henry wes bounding and reboand- ibg in this rematkable manner. If there had Leeu, he might have bounded even higher than he did. No 1rs. Beecher to know. that this presty littlo bird of Elizaboth's ws sing- iug such captivating ‘and gushing sougs in Henry’s ecar. If tuere had been, a litllo insect much smaller and sharper billed, and Jivelier, might have been inserted in tho ear aforesaid. No Mrs, Beecher to discover that Henry was going over to Theodore's to par- takoof Lis wife's “moral nature,.and tlst he sorely nceded help in heart and epirit,” which was procurable ouly at Tilton's. If fhere had been, Lo wouid probably have reccived some help at bome which e nceded more sorely than Elizabett’s. - There will not be wanting those who will see nothing but what is good in all this. But let theee peoplo bring the matter ‘home tothem- selvea. Do you, sir, want your wife writing such stufl to her wminigter? Ilow would it strike you to como home sowe evening and discover that your wife bad been assuring him that she was all right again; that sho had not, dared to tell him her heart was bounding until ghe was sure ? How would it strike you, msdame, to find that during your absence, your husband had been writing to another woman to cheer and sustsin Lim beeause ho sorely needed help in heart and epirit, and that she might auawer his lotters, for it was now safe, as e was at Lome with his sis- ter, who of courae would not open them? Would not both of you open your eses a lttle ? Would you not think, sir, it was abont time you stopped paying pow-rents in a ckurch where spiritual cousolation bad such singutar snd bounding effects, and - would you not cast about you to discover a minister who was mnot guite so elastic? Would yonnot seriously object, madame, to your hus- band getting his consolation from anotler wom- an, aud geatly inform him that ho had better stay at home and get that articlo, even if it were not quite 8o bounding as tho other worman's? If you were & mild, gentle, forbearing little crea- turo, you would do this at least. If you were s woman of spirit, you would make it very lively for your Lusband, 20d eo Lot for the other wom- en that her littie bixd would Lnsh up his sing- ing snd incontinently wing his way home agaiu. That is the plain way of putting it. Mr. Beecher may sing like Solomon, but Lis song is unseem- Is. He may dance like David, but he is dancing over very thin ice. This may bo tho manuer in which hio consoles tho femaie members . of his flock, aud this may be the manner 1 which they coneolo him : but it is & consclation which stings deeper than it heals. \Besides supplying common scnse, peopla with idess, forms of language, models of phraseology, charms of fancy, and an inexhaustible fund of quotations, Shakspeare has furnished pedants and newspapers seeking news and finding none asubject of discussion. A periodical epidemic occuns oneo every two or threes years on the subject of tho anthenticity of Shakspeare's works. Of course it is s mat- ter which will never be unanimously agreed upon. Boucicault will ever maintain that Shaks- peare mercly borrowed from French or other, sources, altering the text a little and affixing his name on the title-page. Richard Grant White will ever maintsin that the Bard of Avon was the sctualauthor of the dramas and poems which are attributed to him. Conservatism will stand Shakepeare to the last sigh, and radicaliam g0 bis" masterpicces 8 popular suthors, It would bo a gigantic task to attompt to perouade the world that Shakspeare was nothing more than 8 successful theatrical managor. e ARE WE CHRISTIANS P Strauss, aftcr analyzivg tbe life and convie- tions of the average ** Christian™ and educated man of to-day, camo to 5 couclusion whicn ho did not hesitate to publish to the world, that hé —not Strauss, but the average * Christisn ™ and educated man—was, in xeal truth, no Christian atall. An English writer of no small acumon, the author of * Dame Europs's School,” pub- Jishod some time ago & swall book ontitled « Modern Christianity a Civilized Hoathenism,” in which he maintained substantially the same po- gition as Strauss, only he went s little farther than bis Gormau contemporary, and insinnated that modern Christians are simply civilized heathen. The work has not yet been read as extensivoly iu this conntry s 1t deserves to be,—probably be- cause no American edition of it had appeared. ‘This cause is removed at prosent, and the book will po doubt have ovons larger saloon this sido of the Atlantic than it bad in England. We have no hesitancy to say that on perusing it the scales will drop from the eyes of many, and that they will rocognize that Christianity is some- thing very uniike what they have becn practicing. Every one must agree with the suthor that Christianity is one of two things, either a human phitogophy founded by & great moral teacher called Christ, or & distinct revelation of God's will bronght down from Heaven by Iis only be- gotten Son,—a revelation not intended to im- prove npon but to supersede and upset all merely human philosophy. Christians generally in this day assume that Chnstianity is the latter. They scknowledge that it1s their duty to imi- tate Christ, aud yet they aro farther removed ' from the imitation of Christ than they are from any other great cxemplar which the world hag everscon. Deny it no ove can that Chriat drew o broad distinction between what is called the world sud Himself. His oue great and charac- tevistic featuse was what our critic says it was— apposition to what is known as tho world. Not ouly the wickedness, but even the righteousness, of the world did Christ condemn. There was, he claimed, 8 gooduess sud u virtue which the world did not understand, Philosophers bofore Clirist bad quarreled with the sensual, groveling pleasures of men. Christ flung into the tecth of men their very virtues and told them they were worthless in the eyes of the all-pure God. Public opinion and the common sense of the worid 8¢ rules of action he condemned in the most express terms. And it was this view of the Infinite excellence of the Deity as contrast- ed with human virtuo that gave Christianity o specdy and complete a victory over philosophy aud Paganism combined. Now where is the Christien who would not be also the man of the world? How meny are the Chiistians who do not constantly aim to be guided by common senge aud public opivion ? How mauy do not make both a rulo of action? How many of them who druw any distinction between Christ and the world? How many who pass for Christians, and attend church regularly on Sundays, would condemn as worthless nnd as only secming vir- tues tho good deeds of the man of the world ? Cbrist taught the existence of an overlasting hell There are thowe who call themselves Christians and who deny this; but tho fuct, neveriheless, remaing,—Christ did teach the ex- istence of s hell. How many believeit? As our author pats it : If a man believe in au ever- lasting hell, * what can any man care to do when Le Liag provided food and clothing just sufficient to keep his own family alive, but spends the entire residue of lus worldly goods in ministering to the poor wnd sor- rowing, and tho entire residue of his time iu praising Christ Lis Savior for tho blessed hopo of Heaven, or in tearful supplication for deliver- ance from the sorrows of helt ?* If men believe in hell, how do they reconcilo it with reason to live on as if thero were none? Itis plain.—the cullivated, educated world may be divided into two classes of persons : professed infidels and Christiens in name, but unbelievers or misbe- liovers mrealitv. And tho author of “ Christi- anity a Civilized Heathenism™ tells us that, if public opinion cared to express its mind, it would proclaim itself fidel to the. very core. To enforce his views he introduces & genuine heathen of Eastern Dbirth, who had made bis bome in England, who Llsd learned tho wuys aud habits sad mode of think- ing of the avernge Englishman, but who nevertbeless had not becomo & Christian. Being urged ‘to take that final step, the heathen pertinently inquires of his would-ba proselyter in what respect he would have to chango bis life if he did become a Christian. He waa a heathen, and professed himself one ; but he could see no reason to chaoge his namo to Cbristisn; aud a chipge of name was all that his conversion to Chnstiauity involved. His life was Liko the lives of the Christians ho bad known. He lived as purely, as temperately, was ag kind to his neighbor and as: forgiving to liis enomy, a8 any Christian of lus acquaintance. Thero is only too much troth to this observa- tion of the supposed heathen. Perhape it will causen few Clristians to digcover that they are only disguised infidels,~s revclation which can- not but be productive of good in 8o far ay it ehail teach men to be what they profess to bo. . TBE DIAEKA, The Diakke are bad spirits. Andrew Jackson Davis has found ont all about them. According to his ponderous eflusion on the subject, they are the beings who breek dishes and tumble around farniture and 81l outrageous lics and bring the rhades of prominent desd men into disrepute by maliciously. personasing them. When George Washington siugs “ Hey-diddle- diddle, the cat and the fiddle,” to & circlo of awe-struck gecse, it 18 not George Washington, but & Diak (if that 18 the proper singular of 'the tribal name). When Benjamin Franklin dences and Charles Dickens writes an idiotic story and Keats raps out this wondrous conplet : You are my queen, Loveliest I ever scen,— the Diakka are playing their pranks. These things might bo suiered to pass without protest, -gince such glaring shams are readily detected ; but when the Diakks carry a pail of dirty water ioto the yard and tip it over on the week's wash, 18 thoy Jately did in Milwaukee, or when they givoall the furniture in a houso the St. Vitus dance at midnight, as they Lave just done in Son Francisco, or when tiey pitch the whole contents of a china-closet into one heap of de- bris, as they dia nesr Now Haven, Connecticut, a few years ago,—then it 1s fime to complain, Yet even these evils are not the worst. If a New Orleans burglar is to be believed, he has 8 epirit i his employ, whom he.described as **A sery devil of a _ghost” that will climb up any balcony in the eity, crawl through any key-hole, and throw me down all ke valusbies, without so much a8 wak- ening a canary-bird,” It issufficiently sppalling to think of a *devil of a ghost” cravling through your key-hole without the added neces- sity of regarding him or it &8 & burglar. of what avail are pistols against forms of thin air ? You behold the elongate ghost half-way through the koy-hole. You spring to clutch him. Ho vanishes with a blood-curdling chuckle. The nest moment, while you sre absorbed in keeping the bed snd bedding from go- ing through the ceiling aguinst which they are pounding,” your pantaloons, con- taining pockot-book, safe-koys, etc., are dexterously whisked through the transom, and thoe spirit, first dropping the water-pitcher on your head, disappears permanently. The Religio- Philosophical Journa! indorses the New Orleans burglar's story, aud 8ddy that the Diskkn belp the bandits of Italy and Mexico, and, in fact, tho rogues of the world. This i6 too much. If wo are to be preyed upon by all the scamps now alive, and by the epirits of all who huve died, we might as well give up the contest. It s painful to think how the ranks of the Diakka will be swellod when the present generation ox’ Aldermen ana County Commissioners dies. Alas for our descendants! — e GOING FOR TYNDALL. Since Tyndall's address Lefore tho Lritish Asso- ciation for the Advancement of Science, at its meeting at Belfast, Ireland, in which he emphat- ically let the world know thal he did not set much store by the present religion of European na- tions, he has been made the object of not a few attacks from various quarters, as in- deed it might have been expected he would have been. The last number of the London Spectalor that has reached this conntry contais no fewer than five letters to the editor, in which the Pro- fessor is moro or less roughly handled by partics disagreeing with him. Onc of tho correspondents inquires why, if atomic evolution can produce msn, it may not produce a demi-urge suflicient for heaven and hell, for the creation of worlds and eystems destined to & quasi-cternity of endurence? The writer bolds that the existence of atoms is a hypothesis as uaverifiable 28 the existence of God ; that both hypotheses are inexplicable to human under- standing ; and that, if called upon to choose be- twecn them, he would prefer the latter, because it has for him: *The cternal- God is thy refuge, and underneath sre everlasting arms.” Another writes to have hLis ideas cleared up on the meaning of Matter. Tyudall had called it tho universal mother of all things, and said that it contained the promise and potency of overy form and quality of life. Thislast gentleman would rather view it with Locke. as mezning the substance and solidity of body, withoat taking in its extension and figure, and finds it impossible to understand how it can beall this and at the same timo the universal mother of things. A third admires Mr. Tyndall's esesy very much, bu thinks he stole the thunder of Prof. Draper, of Now York, from his * History of the Intellec- tunl Development of Europe,” without making any adequate acknowledgment of that fact. This gentleman does not like Tyndall's idea that all poetry and religion are ganglionic thrills, 2nd in- timates his beliof thut, if they are only ganglionic thrills according to the inductive philosophy, tho inductivo philosopby is at s dissdvantago as com- pared with Faithin the region of morale. He does not care to accept Tyndall's Gospel of Dust— * Dust thou art, to dust returns.” Perhaps some will yet question whother this is Tyndall's Gos- pel. But, assuming that 5t is, s it not, in view of tho voice within that testifies to immortality, & rofutation or reductio ad absurdum of his ma- terialism ? KISSING THE PARSOR. We are afraid it will have to be abaundoned. There i3 a reaction sctting in sgainst the saluta- tion which the bride has always considered her due at the hands, or rather mouth, of the parson who united her in wedlock. And the reaction is not likely to contina itself to the hymeneal ultar. Paseing eventy are castiog - their shadowa on evory hand. Asa precautionary measuro the religious journals advocate the total abolition of the “ministerial liss,” and admonish the parson to keep the door of his lips with the uimost austerity under every form of this insidious temptation. The sisters in the churches are taking part in the controversy, 28 itis certainly their right to do, since they are tho party of the first part, They express themselves pro or con, according to circumstances over which some of them, prob- ably, have no cortrol. At any rate, we will ot be prepared to sit in judgment on their attitude until we see for ourselves why they can, or can- not, lond their countenance to this movemont. A “Dencon's wife” has set, not only her own faco, but the faces of her two danghters aguinst their pastor. They “all kissed Lim once,” but they will never do it again, although upon that occasion * it did him good Jike & medicino.” It was purely a remedial ex- periment. The parson was sick, and the kiss, although not prescribed by the physician, was administered by the nurse. Infact, it was s kind of tripartito raid. First of all the mother */ took his thin face between her palms,” and did it. “Tuen the elder of the girls timidly approached aud tearfully laid her tribute upon bis white face, and then the rosy, bright-eyed 18-year-old broke the solemn spell, snd gave him & ringing, frolic- somo sslute.” The incident would bave been forgotten but for an attempt to repeat it, Time ‘passed, tho remedy provailed, the parson-recov-' ered, and called sgain at “ the Deacon's.” . Here lot coutemporaneous history speak for hersolf. “He shook hands all round, and when he came to the 18-year-old, hs actually putup Lis mouthfor akiss!! Her blue eyes gleamed like steel (not steal) as she said : No, 8ir ; you are not swck now!" The parson fell back in bad orger. Theattempt, and not the deed, confounded him. The mother *‘felt proud of the lass of her own raising.” She fs * a3 reeds to guard the dear consecrated servant of God as a hen is to watch over her one desr little downy ball of a chicken,” and for that res~ son **it is her business to keep overything out of her pastor’s way that ho could possibly stum- ble over.” This, we confess with the greatest reluctance, is the only secure position to take in this contro- veray. We retrest to it with all the sense of fortitude which the **downy ball of a chicken ™ must feel when it flees to the shelering pres- ence of the maternal hen. It is fair, it it is hard, for self-denial is the 'strong point of the clergy, if they only kmew it, and they should not begitate in a matter so franght with jeopardy to society and peril to the church. The self-protection of two entire sexes isat stake. Nothing short of total abstinence from this iatoxicating draught can be de- pended upon for eaving either the parson- sge or the deaconsge from the “ragged edge.” Pravention is better than cure, and what cannot be endured must becured.” Rather than thet ohe #frolicavtite wilute " ihould ddgenatits info the * paroxyemal kies,” we would be in favor of the most rigorous precautions. Even the par- sona themselves, when they come to think the matter over, or talk it over at their Monday re- unions, will seo the necessity of their being nipped in the bud at éuch a crisis as this, They must eee that they are asked to foregoa per- quusite, not a requisite, They must consider other lips that ache. In Paraguay, now, it is different. Thero they all *“ greet one another with the holy kisg,"—the same custom, by the way,which is enjoined by an Apostle. Bat in Paraguay, as in the laad of the Apostles, the free trado in this luxury (asin every otlier) is not only promotive, but correct- ive. What everybody has, nobody covets. The wators lose their sweetness when they cease to be stolen. Mlere Lissing docs not lead to par- oxysms in Paragusy, any moro than shaking hiands in this country leads to cutting throats. Bat we are not Paragusyans, and we must take things—stumbliog-blocks and things—as we find them. It is true that we might reduce Riss- ing to'n compulsory civility without respect to sex, age, colur, or previous condition of servi- tude, but this would bring us upon the rock upon which the Dankards split when & freedman and a brother undertook to join in their obedi- euce to an apostolic command. No; we must reform it altogether. Wo sce no other way. There must bs an end of kissing the parson. POLITICS IN OHIO. The political ituation in Ohio to-dny presents a curious aspect. The Republican and the Demo- cratic partics are both divided, split up, and ko mixed that the voters, when thoy go to tho polls on the socond Tnesday of October, wid hardly know which horn of the political dilemma they must take. The Democracy is split npon tho currency question. Allen G. Thurman, by lus voice and his vote in tho Senate, stood by the old landmarks of the party that made him Sen- ator, and that he saved by his hard work in last full's campaign. The country press, with but few exceptions, followed in the wake of the Cincinpati Enquirer, snd, denouncing ‘Thurman, deciared formare greenbacks, without caleulating upon the cost. The State Conven- tion, partially controlled by Thurman, declared in favor of s sound currency, bus ekilifuily for- got to stata what that carrency should be. The Convention thraw a sop to the whale, aod pre- sented a platform upon which Demoerats of ev- ery shede may stana, But Thurman made & great mistake when last fall he insisted mpon calling William Allen from his rural rotreat. He knew thet Allen tweaty years ago had retired to his country home, disgusted with politics and per- fectly williog to remain there, bat he thought that Allen was the enly man who eould control enough votes from the old-liners to se- cure an election. His idea was that he conld use Allen as a stepping-stone to the Senatorship, and then the old man would retire to tho shades of private hife, no more to bo beard of among men. Here washia mistake, Allen was elected Governor, and at once the old greed for office was aroused in the breast of the uncle, and the nephew, who béld the Democracy of Ohio in his grasp, hss been compelled to Te- linguish it, and acknowledges that his unclo will be a strong competitor for tae nomination for the Presidency. Thurman sees*the error he committed, and foels sonred, while Allen is de- voting his time to visiting the county fairs, making pretty little speeches to the toiling masses, snd quietly awaiting any turn the politi- cal whirligig may make. The Republican party of Obio havae hardly ro- covered from the astonishment of their defeat last fall, and cannot be said to have gained any wisdom by it. They have renominated the srme tickes they ran two years ago, but they have ex- grafted in their platform a plank in favor of Probibitién which must result disastrously to them, and take from their ranks almost every German vote. They have gone as far as the most ultra Prohibitionist could desire, and, while the Prohibitionists have a ticket in the field headed by Jobn B. Buchrel, of Akron, as their caundidate for Secretary of State, tho Re- publicans cannot hope to gain mauy votes from the ranks of the radical Temperance party. Taken all in all, then, Ohio politics are mixed. Thurmen ropresents cne wing of the Democracy, Allen represents another, whila tho beer ques- tion must affect, and vitally, oo, the Republican vote, * Surely politics arc undergoing a change which will render it hard for amanof intelli- genca to tell where he does stand. History is repleto with instances of victims who have been sacrificed by tyrants to test the valuo of their own inventions. It is even narrated of the Duke of Weilington that when an ambitions inventor elaimed to have found a bullet-proof armor of ordivary hemp ingeniously wrought into a denso fibre, be ordered an oxperiment to bo made immedistely pon the inventor with & platoon of riflemen. The grim humor of the order was approciated by the bold speculator, who preferred to forego any practical test. ‘That arch-tyrant Pate Las recently made an ex- amplo of an ingenious old darkey in Ken- tucky. The man bhad fused the two maniss of velocipedism and perpetual motion into one practical test. He built a velocipede which ghould run forever after i had once started—if the rider desired it. The modo of propelling it was the force of gravitation. A heavy weight was e0 arrauged on the machine that when slipped forward it perpetually pro- pelied the whoels. After completing this labor- gaving invention the old darkey started out on it to Franklin, to report to the Secretary of the Btate Fair Association the wonder of the thing hao had made. Unfortuustely, while traveling at the rate of 156 miles au bour, one wheel came in collsion with a sapling, and the driver was thrown over the dashboard, came in contact with one of the wheels, and then mado his exit. The infuriated velocipede sped on alone, threatening to run on forever, indeed, like the stiugy merchant of Rotterdam— when it struck another sapling, which reversed the weight and brought the machine to a stand- still. Whether this is a political allegory or & huge but andiscoverable joke, the Franklin (Ky.) Patriot only knows. ‘Nature seems to delight in pointing out to the wealthy and powerful of this world their respon- uibility for the squslor and misery of the poor and ignorant in the most poignant aad unmis- takable manner. in the cpidemic diseases which carry off the purcst and dearest of the house- hold of plenty with the same relentless cruelty a5 the children of poverty among whom they originated. In the well-buil, well-ventilated, well-warmed, and well-drained residences of thoso who are in comfortable circumstauces, epidemic diseases seldom ' or mever appear spoutsueonsly. it is iu the hovelsof the wretch- edly-poor that scatlet fever, small-pox. and diphtheria are born and fostered until they gain the dimensions of giant destroyers. The last- named disease bas been growing for some time under the most favorable circumstances in the poorer districts of New York and Brooklyu. In- deed, it is begiuning to cause serious apprehen- elon, sud the subject of its prevention aud cure is bewy actively discussed in the daily papers. The old story of bad air, bad food, and bad habits promoting mortality from this disesse is therefrain of every essay upon the subjeat, il- higteating this; whuthar we chiooss to xdmit tiie responsibility of boing our brother's k not, there is & power independent of guy. sions intlicting the penalty of evading sponsibility. Chlorate of potssh will by 1™ but an ingignificant remedy compared with itabie iuterest in tho welfars of the neely ignorant poor. ) —_——— So that, after all, thero is 2 dan, pious beqnests ¢f medieval Einua:si::;hu i and shrines of moneys, and lands, and rich ye son, and trout-streams do not svail theg 5 the remotest degree, 50 far 2 a logal ogpy can look at the matter. The old custom of " ing admitsion to the Kingdom of En: throngh purchased posthumous pragers wes o garded as & purely lezitimate means of gt to glory, whose justice no man could q Mry, Elizabeth Jennings, of Columbia Copy Wis., died recently, Lequeathing tha bukp her property to her spiritual ;d..;,“’ the Rev. Joseph Keepan, of Milm in consideration for his services fn ing gasses for her soul, and 29,000 to destiny, deserving orphans. Mrs. Jennings apparen forgot her poor mother in the will, and the g Judy contested the document belore Judge J.J. Guppy, of Portsge. The.Judge decided fhy, the will was void 8o far as it related to the 3, quest to Father Xeenan, 2s being coatrary public policy, and equally void with regard 1y the orphans, on account of its indefinitengy, It remuins to be seen whether the unforteiy, - divioe will neglect Mrs. Jennings' sonl on ths score of breach of contract, when he Lnows thy the lady did all she could in the flesh to Bany him decently, not to ay haudsomely, paid fe bis gervices. A bargaiu like this is ne o slippery affair; for one of the parties at lug is debarred from enforcing its fultillment, et e S5 The recent real-estate frauds in this city by been repeated upon = still larger scalein ey York City, and Love created a great oxcizemsy among property-holders. - The fraud was perps, trated by the forgery of a dead man's nameiny deed lett for record. Cherles H. Glover, alivw ver, has had for some timo the managemen; o the estato of Tsasc Young, deceased, for his ccutors. On Saturday last, Mr. Glover's ceg found in the'Real Estate Record s conveyancay a parcel of resl estate for $37,000 from Inyy Young to Gardiver G. Gerken, and, knovipy that no such deed had been oxecuted, and thy -2 Mr. Young was dead. ho informed his employe who took the requisice steps to ferret oct watter. The result was the arrest of threemey and the discovery that their forgeries had alresdy amounted to half a million dollars. The defc. tion of the forgors was almost sccidentsl, i purchasers of real estateand hoiders of mortgage. bonds are busily investigating their titlea. Lia doubtful whether such a gigantic fraud -eood be perpetrated in Chicago, 23 our resords public ; bat in New York the public 15 notallowsd access to them, nor are the daily papess alloged to publieh them, the publication being confised by law to an obscure weekly paper which no oze but real-estata dealers see. At the same time the New York fraud teaches the importancs of the most careful scrutiny of titles. H An American, presumsably & man of ondinuy senge, in this nineteenth century, with the s trious precedents far doing nathing of the kind before him, hss actually, and, 80 far saembe learned from his lettes, without compulsion, - signed sn ofice after she expirai@ of ope term. He was momber o no Board, President of po Council @ Nation, custodian of noparty. He was the huze blo dog-cateher of the Tenth Assembly District of the City of Now York. He has had a com: ‘mission, and used it; he haa had his pay, spent it; he has receivod thirty-five bites from captured canines, and exhibits their scamia duty. Now be gladly steps down and out. Asti' office was created for one mun, says be, that b may live and enjoy its emoluments forevor, und ay he wishes to devote his time and energies the coming election, he reluctantly, bas ccn- scientiously, tanders his resignation. Noble ex amplo to the battle-scarred catchers of humsz dogs who wish to devote their energies to ths coming election. Let them canscientiously, if reluctantly, follow the examplo of Jacob Bos, dog-catcher, and tender their resignations alsa. The reluctance savors of 8 higher office. Thy consciontionsness is confined almost entirely 4o dog-catehers. . Either Now Orleans officizls are mmusually vigilant and attentive to their duty in appes- hending criminals, or the city possesses e murderers to tho square inch than any otber large city on this continent. If the porcentass of convictions for murder bears tho same rela tion to the number committed 8s in other cities the opinion must be ‘entertained thst = gres many more people quit life by violent resas than is altogether proper. Thero are no thau thirty-four allegod marderers in jail ther. [ Many of them are classed in pairy 7 the deed having required partnorshi to ronder it satisfactory. Especialy is this the case when the object of the mmdsr has beon plunder. Where the crime was prompt ed merely by passion, the murdarers went iots fi. business alono and on their own sccount. Thk g is a very shocking exhibit, and indicatea theluk F} of security of life fels in that city. The numbe bas reccived many sccessions recently, sod 1 F political excitoment intensifies the cantributions will probably increage proportionstely. In spi of the recent exccution of five murderors B Louisisna—the first in many years—the geusssl impression that ** hanging is played out ” iahs State seems to Lave an undeirably firm fousd- tonimfsct. It was Oliver Wendell Holmes who remarked thas, talking of the unequal division of weslth, if the whole wor!d were burned to a cndar, {01 tunes would be made by & few of tho surviem in the potush trade. Now that Grangers a0 complaining of the inequity of tneis lot, s0e¥ industry opens out to thom. The potato-bug ¥ sought for by chomists ns a eubstitate far the Spavish fly. O course, if the farmer can sell bushel of potatoes and another bushel of bigh at the same time, to the advantage of botb p& tios, e ought to do it withony delay. Bciso® will be compelled to invent new nawmes i tho two varietios of insect mow iz & mand. The murderous druggist can reach up to *cautharides” but when B comes to epicants vittata by the ounce, of B dozon of Douythora Decemlineata, mistakes &% likely o occur. It would never do to mix ¥ breeds inthe menner likely to bo the 00n¥ quence ; and if the farmer ia really going 0 & tract plenty out of pestilence, he muss, oot ] philactbropy, obtain a new nomenclature forsd benofit of the unscientific. Buch names a5 b already in existenca would lister the tongus # effectually as the insect would damags the 8% Thore is issued in Boston & monthly pubi tion entitlod **Equity, 3 Journal of Chrst Labor Beform.” Its leading acticle in the % tember numbes insists that there must bo -:; fect brotherhood among meu in the Wb sphere of work, and that this brotherhood ¥ fonnd only in the teachings of Christ. Aski® the question who can supply this na_ededhmf-hfl bood, it avewers by tho followiog sfsrtiof afiirmations: S Inreply we rotarn to the theme with which ¥ out, and ery aloud with all our power, Jesus and He aloue, can smpply that noed. As Jesus 'flmfl" lived on the earth und died on the cros to give WOEh, the ballot, wo did Ho live on tho eurth snd dis 00 €ros4 to found and carry forwsrd Labor. Beform. At the request of vome Epglish gentlem®® stopping in New York, William f. Beard ¢ em?npél:l snimal painter, has been induced % send Lis latest production, *0id-Time, Q1 Life,” to London for exhubition, The mess) » focated in & room of » ciub-house, elegsl faruished, the occupants being monkeys H like gentlomen, each figure xepresan(edhlu" forent stage of intoxicution. Thoae who Y seen bis inimitable painting of ;E“uu‘fi‘ Title” will have some - ireoter nd ez of il